DISCLAIMER: All characters and property of Stargate SG-1 belong to MGM/UA, World Gekko Corp. and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
Have I lost his trust forever? I've been asking myself that a lot since I came back to the SGC. Back from the special assignment that the Asgard selected me for. Damn!
I didn't want to deceive him. I didn't want to deceive any of them. But there were larger issues at stake. The reputation of the SGC, the honor of the human race, the Earth's position in the universe. That sort of thing.
Those misguided idiots working under the assumption that they were the saviors of the world were almost the cause of its destruction. If any of the three advanced races we've aligned ourselves with break with us, we're in bad shape. If all three abandon us, we might as well just blow up the planet cause we're doomed to become Goa'uld fodder.
Carter and Teal'c understand the need behind my actions. Oh, I know they resent the deception, and I know that paybacks are hell, but they know why I had to do it. They know just how lucky we got with Apophis' mother ships, how lucky we were to have the Asgard negotiate a protected planet status for us. But as a race, we can't afford to depend on luck. To have a snowball's chance in hell of surviving this war, we need allies. The stronger the better, and the more, the merrier. Because that's what it is. A Goddamned undeclared global war. The whole planet's involved, but most of its inhabitants don't even know it.
But Daniel... I'll never forgive myself for what I did to Daniel. When I handed him the Tollan negotiation assignment, he knew it was doomed to failure. Even protested that it wouldn't work. But I gave him my best commander's look, and his protests stopped. He gave it his best shot ... that's the only way he knows how to do anything ... and did a damn fine job. God, the stunned look on his face when I ordered the team to leave the Tollan council chamber ... I really didn't like myself very much then.
He wouldn't even meet my eyes when we debriefed and Hammond and I went at each other, but I could tell he was confused and concerned as things progressed and I 'retired'. Then he came to visit ... to see if I was all right. Only Daniel.
The things I said to him. I could see they hurt him badly, particularly the parts about friendship ... our friendship. But the house was bugged. The enemy had to think it was real. That was the absolute worst 'cause he's like a bulldog with a bone. He won't give up if he thinks he's right. And I had to make sure he thought he was wrong. Way to go, Jack. Wonderful job. Fine time for an Oscar winning performance.
I know what he thinks of military discipline, orders, chain of command. He just doesn't see the need. And knowing Daniel like I do, I'll lay odds he thinks he's the reason the team couldn't back me up. And he's right. Partially. It had nothing to do with lack of trust, but Daniel won't see that. He won't understand. He's the most black and white, right or wrong person I've ever met. He'll only see the lie, and worse, he'll see a lack of trust.
We knew there was a mole... Goddamn you, Makepeace ...but didn't have a clue about his identity. It wasn't enough to know my team wasn't involved, I had to prove it. And Teal'c ... when he paused by the DHD, my heart stopped. I swear it did.
Then the charade was over. Done. Finished. And along with it Daniel's trust in me. Trust is a two way street, and I trust him completely. But he doesn't know that, not anymore. And I don't know how I'm going to make him understand. But for the sake of our friendship, I've got to.
Sweet. The alliances are saved, the honor of the human race is saved, the SGC is saved, but Daniel, my friend... Has the price been too high?