SUMMARY: Set during ESB. Luke and Han have a communication problem, leading to some reckless behavior on Luke's part, and a discovery for them both.

//Barren// Luke thought as he surveyed the frozen wastelands laid out before him. Just a few short months ago, he'd been staring out at the deserts of Tatooine, thinking the same thought.

//And here I am, again//

Of course, he was no longer a simple farm boy anymore. He was a Hero and a Jedi.

//Yeah. Right. If they only knew the truth.//

Luke knew better in his heart. He knew that with Ben gone, he'd never develop into the Jedi he dreamed of becoming; never become the man his father would have wanted him to be.

//Oh, Ben! How could you leave me like this?//

He knew he wasn't completely alone. Leia was there, of course. And Han.

//Han//

Luke closed his eyes and pictured the man: tall, lean, ruggedly handsome. Han was a fantasy come true, brimming with confidence and recklessness.

//If only he would look at me the way he looks at Leia. If only I could tell him how I felt//

Luke quickly opened his eyes, allowing the sharp wind to rip the moisture from his eyes. Useless, he thought. Han was hopelessly in love with Leia. He was sure of it. All too often, Luke had watched them as they flirted and danced around each other. He was certain they were lovers. The image of the two of them together made his stomach clench in agony.

//This is all so pointless//

He had made it! The farmboy had escaped the drudgery of the harvest and climbed to the stars, fought courageous battles against the Empire, and been deemed a hero to the Rebellion. So why did he feel so empty inside?

Squinting into the glare of the setting sun, Luke shoved the pain and loneliness back into the dark recesses of his mind and directed his Taun-Taun toward the Rebel base.

Luke arrived just in time to see Han in an animated discussion with the Princess. He tried to duck out of the hangar but was too late. Han spotted him and yelled for him to come over. Sighing, Luke slowly made his way over to the pair.

"Hey, Luke! It's about time you got back. We're planning a party for Wedge; it's his birthday in a few days and I want to fly in some 'ladies' from Mayro..."

"Han," Leia interrupted briskly. "This is a secret Rebel base! You're not flying anyone here for any reason! Especially not those 'women'. Do I make myself clear?"

The two of them argued back and forth until Han gave in and sullenly agreed. Leia smiled and lowered her voice.

"Now, I'm sure that you can make do with the resources here on the base to devise a proper surprise for Wedge."

Han grinned and squeezed Leia's shoulder.

"You bet we will!"

Luke watched this exchange with growing annoyance. He was about to just turn around and leave the two lovebirds when Han called his name.

"Alright, Luke. What do you think we should do?"

Han's grin was infectious, as usual, but this time it had no effect on Luke's temperament.

"I really don't care, Han. I'm not exactly in the mood for a party."

"Come on, Luke! I'm sure the three of us can come up with something devious enough."

"Forget it, Han! I'm not in the mood! Excuse me, Leia." With that, Luke turned and stalked off toward his quarters.

His two friends watched Luke storm away then turned to each other.

"What the hell's eating at him?" Han grumbled.

"I'm sure he's still hurting over Ben's loss, Han." Leia said softly. "He'll come around."

But he didn't. Luke spent the next weeks studiously avoiding both Han and Leia as much as possible. He ate his meals alone and politely refused to attend any social events. His patrols and military exercises were exceptional, as usual. In fact, he seemed more focused than ever. His friends gave him the space he seemed to require, never realizing how lonely the young man really was.

Finally, three weeks after the incident in the hangar, Han caught up with Luke as he was leaving for a patrol.

"Luke, I need you to go with me to Ord Mandell. We have to deliver some supplies to an old friend of mine there. He may also have some important information to give us about the Empire's movements in that sector. Can you be ready in an hour?"

Luke just stared; his mouth suddenly gone dry.

//Shit, I don't need this//

"Uh, Han. What about Chewie? Why do you need me to go?" Luke searched desperately for an excuse. "I've got a patrol in a few minutes," he finished weakly.

Han was beginning to lose his temper with the younger man.

"Listen Luke, I don't know what your problem is, but I need you on this mission. If you can't handle it, I'll find someone who can!"

"Of course I can handle it. It's just..."

"Just what?" Han replied angrily.

"Never mind! I'll be ready in an hour." Luke turned away.

"Make it 30 minutes, Luke! We've got a timetable to meet." Han shouted at Luke's retreating back.

"Fine!" Luke shouted back, not even looking back at the man.

//Just great!//

The trip to Ord Mandell was relatively short, but not short enough for either of the men. They hardly spoke to one another for the entire voyage. Luke stayed out of Han's way most of the time, busying himself with minor repairs that really didn't need to be done, but which Han had practically ordered him to do. By the time they were halfway there, Luke was furious. He was sick of being treated like a kid. Like a third wheel to Han and Leia. Even now, alone with Han on the Falcon, Luke could feel Leia's presence, certain she stood between him and man he so desperately wanted to touch. Why did they have to treat him like an innocent child? He might be less experienced than Han but he wasn't the shy young virgin everyone seemed to think he was.

//Damn it! If Han doesn't want me, I'm gonna make sure he knows what he's missing//

Luke smiled to himself as he threw himself into his task. He couldn't wait till they arrived at Ord Mandell.

Han remained in the cockpit of the Falcon for the duration of the journey. He knew Luke needed 'space' but dammit, he was tired of the silent treatment the young man was giving him. Han wanted nothing more than to throw his arms around Luke and kiss him senseless; to drive away whatever demons were pursuing him. Sighing, Han pushed the image away and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He knew better than to give into his fantasies, but sometimes he just couldn't deny them. From the moment he saw Luke, he had wanted him. Now that he'd spent time with him, had fought beside him, Han knew that he was in love with the beautiful young man. He only wished Luke felt the same way.

//Ridiculous//

The kid had never so much as looked his way with more than friendly affection in his eyes. And maybe a little hero worship. Han smiled at the thought. He was no hero, but it was nice to be thought of that way, to be admired and looked up to, especially by Luke.

//Damn! If that's the only way to get his attention, I'll have to save his life more often//

Lately, however, Luke hardly even looked in his direction. He even seemed to be avoiding his company. Han couldn't understand what had changed between them, but he'd be damned if he wasn't going to use this time alone with Luke to find out. Even if he had to tie the boy down and drag the truth out of him.

Han leant back in his chair and smiled at the thought. His fantasy evolved a bit and Han was soon lost in deliciously erotic thoughts concerning Luke and a pair of velvet handcuffs.

//or maybe I could wear the cuffs...//

Their arrival on Ord Mandell was uneventful, although it took some doing to locate Han's supposed old friend, who was seeming less friendly by the moment. Han was particularly irritated by the way the man kept looking at Luke and licking his lips. By the time they had finished their business, Han wanted nothing more than to return to the Falcon and get some rest before making the flight back to Hoth. Luke, however, had different ideas. They were walking through a rather pitiful looking market-place when Luke stopped them short.

"Come on, Han. Let's have some fun. This place looks entertaining enough." Luke grinned as he pointed to a dingy sign that read, innocuously enough, Pete's Tavern.

"Yeah, if your idea of entertainment is a knife in the back." Han eyed the dark entryway with distaste.

"Let's get out of here, Luke. We have a long day tomorrow."

Too late, Luke was already heading into the cantina, grinning mischievously over his shoulder at Han.

"What? Are you afraid of a little dark atmosphere?" Luke laughed at Han's obvious reluctance, and stepped through the doorway.

"Fine, kid. Just remember, this was your idea, not mine."

"Not a problem."

Luke looked curiously around the dark, smoky room. Loud music emanated from one corner of the bar, and several patrons danced drunkenly before the band. Luke, in all his golden youth, attracted a number of interested looks and more than a few catcalls. Han was shocked to see Luke return the looks with a wide grin, even seeming to enjoy the occasional intimate touch as he moved gracefully through the crowded bar. Han found himself closing the distance between the younger man and himself, throwing angry glares at anyone who dared to touch Luke.

They took seats at the counter and ordered two stiff drinks. Han finally turned to Luke, squeezing his arm hard enough to bruise.

"What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

Luke looked pointedly at Han's hand until the older man eased his grip and let go. "I'm just having a little fun. If you have a problem with that, then go ahead and leave." Luke downed his drink and ordered another.

"Like hell, Luke. I'm not leaving you alone in a place like this. Especially when you're drunk," Han said angrily, glaring at Luke as he gulped his second drink.

"I'm not drunk, Han. And I can take care of myself!" Luke stood swaying slightly from the effects of the alcohol.

"Oh right, I forgot. You're an all-powerful Jedi now. So sorry!" Han pushed Luke back into his seat and glared at him for a moment, then his face softened slightly.

"Luke?" Han said gently. "What's bothering you? You haven't acted like yourself for weeks."

"I haven't been acting like myself? You don't even know me! If you did then you'd know..." Luke trailed off, looking into his empty glass.

"Know what, Luke? Tell me." Han squeezed Luke's shoulder gently, but Luke just shrugged it off.

"It's nothing, Han. Just leave me alone." Luke ordered another drink and proceeded to ignore the other man's presence. Han was almost ready to haul Luke out of the bar by force when he spotted a familiar face out of the corner of his eye.

"Well I'll be damned. I know that guy!" Luke glanced up at Han irritably, but Han had already begun to move off in the direction of the stranger.

"Luke, stay here. I'll be right back. That guy owes me over two thousand credits." Han moved away through the crowd. Luke sighed and leaned back in his seat, slowly surveying the room. He spotted a group of rather rough looking men near the band and a wicked grin spread across his face. He grabbed his glass and headed across the floor.

Han returned to the counter where he'd left Luke earlier. The young man had vanished.

"Dammit!" Han swore, then turned quickly as he heard a familiar laugh from across the room. Han couldn't believe what he was seeing. Luke was dancing, surrounded by three large men who were obviously not interested in his conversational skills. The young man's lithe body moved sinuously against the man behind him. He seemed to relish the way the men ran their hands over his chest and hips, his head thrown back in ecstasy. Han felt an uncontrollable rage rise from the pit of his belly.

//How dare they touch him like that//

Without thinking, Han strode over to the men, grabbed Luke by the arm and dragged him away from the other man's embrace.

"Luke! We are leaving. Now!" Han voice was harsh, but Luke still managed to object to the rough treatment.

"I'm just having some fun. Let go of me!" Luke complained as he struggled drunkenly against Han's grasp.

"Yeah, the kid's with us, buddy. Get lost!" The largest of the three advanced on Han threateningly.

Han pulled his blaster and pointed it at the large man's solid chest.

"I don't think so, *buddy*." Han began moving slowly toward the exit, when one of the men jumped him. Han shot the man solidly in the chest, but was knocked down by the force of the now-dead man's fall. The other men leapt to attack him.

"Run Luke! Get out of here!" Han yelled as he shoved the body off and began shooting. He alternately shot and punched his way out of the bar, grabbing Luke by the arm and racing out the door and down the dark street. They were chased for a while but managed to duck down an alley and hide while the other men shot past them.

Feeling relatively safe for the moment, Han turned to Luke, angrily shoving him against a nearby brick wall.

"What the fuck were you thinking, Luke? Do you have any idea what those men would have done to you?" Han punctuated each question with another hard shove, until he was breathing hard against Luke's flushed face.

"I know exactly what they wanted." Luke's eyes were dark and angry as he pushed Han away.

"They wanted to fuck me, Han. And I wanted them to. I wanted to get down on my knees and suck their hard cocks. I wanted to get on all fours and take each and every one of them up my..."

"Shut up!" Han yelled, shoving the angry young man against the wall and shutting his mouth as effectively as he could. Han brought his mouth down hard against Luke's lips, forcing the lips apart and shoving his tongue roughly and deeply into Luke's mouth. His tongue stabbed at the moist depths, sweeping across the hard palate and teeth as if he could somehow wipe away the foul words. Losing all semblance of control, Han ground his rapidly hardening cock against the younger man's hips. He pressed harder until he felt rather than heard Luke's sharp cry and tasted the coppery tang of blood. Han broke off the kiss suddenly, rocking back on his feet and looking in horror at Luke's bruised and bleeding lips.

"Oh gods," He moaned. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Han turned away in anguish, hating himself for treating his friend in such a brutal manner.

"Han. Look at me, please." Luke's gentle, pleading voice brought Han around and he turned back to his friend.

Luke's eyes had lost their anger and seemed fathomless in the moonlight. Han felt an overwhelming urge to take him in his arms and taste him again.

"It's alright! Are you telling me that you didn't want that to happen?" Luke's voice was soft and compelling.

"No Luke. I, I can't." Han looked away, anywhere but at the beautiful young man before him.

"Han, look at me. Look at me! Look me in the eye and tell me you don't want me. Tell me you don't want to kiss me again."

Han stared at Luke, unable to tear his eyes away from his swollen lips. He took a shuddering breath and released it.

"I can't deny it. I've tried, but I can't do it."

Luke smiled gently at the older man and took his face in his cupped hands.

"I know that, now. I know," he said as he slowly pulled Han's mouth down to meet his own. The kiss was gentle, this time, exploring. As their tongues met, the two men were lost, nipping and lapping at each other's mouths like delicacies to be savored. Luke ran his hands down Han's back and grasped his well-muscled ass. With a groan, Luke pulled the other man hips towards his, rocking his own hardness against Han's renewed erection. Han deepened the kiss, his hands buried in the golden silk of Luke's hair. After what seemed like an eternity, Luke broke the kiss, gasping for breath and nuzzling into Han's neck.

"Why, Han? Why did you wait so long to say something?"

"I'm sorry," Han replied, his breath raising tufts of Luke's golden hair. I guess I've always treated you as something fragile; something that would break if I got too close."

"I'm right here. A man of flesh and blood, and I need..." Luke trailed off, looking deeply into Han's eyes.

"I need *you*. I always have. Please Han, don't you understand?" Luke's voice was pleading, husky with desire.

"Need? Oh I definitely understand Need." Han laughed ruefully. "I haven't even been with anyone since Yavin 4. All I could think about was being with you."

"No one? But I thought you and Leia..."

"Her Worshipfulness? No way, Luke. She's an amazing woman but she's married to the Rebellion. She could never give me what I need; what you give me. She's not the one I want." Han pulled Luke's smiling face into another long kiss. "I only want you," he whispered against Luke's mouth.

"Only you, Han." Luke replied. "Let's go home."