Archive: SWAL, M&A, WWOMB
Disclaimer: George Lucas owns Star Wars.
Category: Angst
Pairing: Q/Ma, Q/O
Rating: PG
Series: Set in Anne Higgins' Bonding universe.
Summary: Mace Windu has some problems teaching the boy who stole his lover.
Mace Windu had managed to avoid interacting with Obi-Wan Kenobi for seven years, but now the boy was ten, and in Mace's intermediate lightsaber class. He watched the child spar, saw the smoothness that came from long practice and the boy's innate grace. And he saw other things as well--the way Obi-Wan favored his left leg slightly, and how the boy overreached himself more often than not, and that peculiar twist of his wrist that only one other Jedi used.
The boy fought like Qui-Gon Jinn. There was no doubt whatsoever about that. Just as there was no doubt that he was Qui-Gon's bondmate. Even now, Mace could sense it in the way Obi-Wan held himself, in the way he relaxed into his instructor's touch as though it were familiar.
Which, in a way, it was.
If Mace had allowed himself to hate, he would have hated this child who had stolen his lover ten years ago. As it was, he allowed himself to be disturbed.
After two months of gently correcting Obi-Wan, Mace knew he had to speak to Qui-Gon. This could not continue.
He stood outside Qui-Gon's quarters, unaccountably nervous. He should have known that his friend would sense his presence just beyond the door, and come to investigate.
"Mace? What's wrong?"
"Your bondmate is what's wrong."
Qui-Gon felt cold fear bite at his throat, even though Obi-Wan's presence in his mind told him that the boy was safe and happy. "What's he done?"
Mace stepped into the room, his arms crossed over his chest. "You know I'm teaching the intermediate lightsaber class."
"Yes."
"Obi-Wan is in it."
"He's a bit young, but I don't see how--"
"Oh, he's good. That's not the problem."
"If you're saying you can't teach him because of what you and I once were to each other, I'll understand. I'll teach him myself if I have to."
"No!" Mace turned away and walked over to the window. "Losing you--Qui-Gon, I hated losing you. I haven't let myself hate anything since. It...hurt too much."
"I--"
"It wasn't your fault. Or his." He stopped and was silent for a few moments. "The problem now has nothing to do with me. How I feel about him, I mean. As his teacher, I'm concerned."
He turned and saw Qui-Gon sitting on a chair, his eyes betraying his confusion. "He fights like you, old friend. Just like you."
"That's a problem?"
Mace sat down across from his friend and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Qui-Gon, he's not a large boy. He will never have your height, your reach, or your strength. Never. He's going to break his wrist twisting it like that, and someone's going to cut him in half if he keeps leaving himself open."
He watched as the confusion in Qui-Gon's eyes was replaced by terror, and, as quickly, by calm. "So what do you want me to do?"
"I need you to cut yourself off from him when he's training with the saber."
"I can't do that. Cutting our connection that completely would mean--"
"Life or death to him, one day. You will do it. Explain the situation to him, but this is not a matter for your personal pain, or his. That's transitory. What would you feel if he died?"
The terror was back in Qui-Gon's eyes, if only for a split second. Mace felt his lips twist, and knew his old lover had seen the bitterness behind the expression. After a moment, he spoke again. "Obi-Wan's true strengths lie in his speed and acrobatics. His size will be an asset there, if I can only teach him. And I can't teach him if he's so closely connected to you."
Qui-Gon ducked his head, defeated. "Very well. I'll talk to him this evening, and make sure he understands." He looked down at the floor. "I have shielded much of my life from him. I will...learn to shield more."
"Good." Mace stood up and walked to the door. As it opened before him, he turned to face the man he once dreamed of sharing his life with. "I would hate him if I could. But never think I would betray you. I couldn't stand it if you thought that."
"There may be times I cannot help thinking it."
Mace's lips tightened, and he tried to control the hurt inside him. After all this time, he should be able to control. He nodded once, and left the room.