Rated: PG
Notes: Written for our beloved Lex, whose name begins with an "L", but that's not the reason why...she once gave me permission to put Jim in Blair's lap, and I did!

Warning: my thoughts on slash may not agree with your tummy...

L in All, a Loathesome day at work, so this is penned in honor of a Lady who can make me forget real life for a time.

Lex, skimming Senslash lists is like skimming whole milk. Skimslash is slash with a pale, underweight waify Kate Mossie Blair who nays not when Jim neighs.

Whole milk slash is full-body Blairs who live, love, lust, lick, lay, lie, leer, and lube.

Whole milk slash Blair may be lachrymose but not laconic. He doesn't lactate, he ejaculates. He may lag but he'll never gag (not on Jim jism). He often has to take it on the lam for being lambent.

He often laments on Jim's lack of comments.

His land is arable, joyfully plowed by Farmer Jim each night. His land is lovingly lubricated and Jim plants his seed by low light in Blair's landscape. After seed planting is over, languid Jim causes Blair to languish with languor.

Jim turns curly to lank. Jim enjoys feeling lanuginous Blair, especially the lap and nape. If Jim ever left Blair, Blair would lapidify.

Blair is larksome and lascivious, and he can last (all night long.)

He often is late, but always has the last word. A latecomer who will never become latescent. He's a latitudinarian whom Jim lauds. He can laugh. He laughs away Jim's faultfinding. He laughs down the ridiculous and laughs off his troubles. He may laugh in his sleeve at Jim but never makes him the laughing stock.

Blair's lava explodes in Jim's fissure.

He performs lavation in deference to Jim's nose. He may be legal and licit, but ever lawless in the bed upstairs. He gives Jim laxation with a rub.

Yes, Blair lays. He lays about, he lays away, he often has to lay down to lay low. Jim often says "Lay off!" but that's when Blair lays it on.

Jim knows all the lay of Sandburgville.

Blair knows how Ellison Hollow lays. It's a squeeze to get in, but Lord, the land lays lavishly fertile.

He is a leader. He leads off in order to lead the way. A guide is a leader whose beauteous looks lead up to the ladder of lofty love. Blair is the leader, Jim is the leadoff man.

After Jim is through with him, his lips often leak, and lower parts spring a leak. His eyes often leak in lachrymose lines.

He's lean but not lanky. He leans towards learnedness which gave Jim a new lease on life.

He's not leathery but lithesome.

His loving leavetakings take Jim's breath.

He may be lewd but not too lecherous.

He usually shakes a leg to give Ellison a leg to stand on. He'll pull Jim's leg to give him a leg up (often around the waist, it's extra lagniappe for his lover.)

He often employs legerdemain and illegibleness to keep legislators from learning Sentinel lore.

He enjoyed leisure after his press conference; he was at leisure but definitely not feeling leisurely.

When given lemons in life, he makes lemonade.

He exhausts the limit of his length to worships Jim's lengthiness.

He is lenient and lenitive in his lenity to palliate Jim's lethargy.

He has no lentigines (of which Jim is personally acquainted).

Jim, listening to Blairbeats, loves the lentissimo rhythms.

Sasquash named him a lepidopteron. But he isn't lepidote or lepidopterous of course--erous!

Lord, Lower the boom, it's the Living End of part 1.

*************

Blair's not a lesbian, but I'm sure with his lax upbringing, he likes lavendar ladies.

Jim often wishes to lave in Lethe to forget Lila now that Blair's levator levitates his length.

Blair does his level best to keep a level head in order to prevent Jim's head from staying level.

His lexicon contains L.O.V. and E.

His liberality is limitless. Jim gives him total liberty to be libidinous. Blair has a libidinal labido.

They do it in the library. They do it in the license bureau. They would as lief do it in Liechtenstein, and Lord love 'em, in Luxembourg.

Jim licks his chops after licking Lambchop, sometimes lickety-split, while lickerish in lust. Often in the lavatory in Major Crimes, Jim gives Blair a lick and a promise to lick him clean, later in the loft.

Jim has a lien on the loft. Blair has a lien on Jim 'cause with all the hurt/comfort he needs to lean on him.

They live their lives lustfully, hanging on for dear life to live the Life of Riley.

Jim would take a life to keep Blair in his; he's his whole life. Jim often has nightmares about Blair's lifeless body in the fountain. That's why he keeps a ligature (love, baby) to keep him close.

Blair is light-fingered and light-footed, and often lighter than air (says Jim, lugging him up the stairs).

He's luminous and lightsome for Jim's loneliness.

L's to become Pleas for Author of this 'ell of a Blair. Please to peruse pitiful 'planations.

"I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough he might become disturbed." (James Thurber lays in on the line).

**************

Penman Pascal perfects the perfect ending to Susan's pauperous, pallid, pastel pastiche. It's all pastrami as you see, and not pastry. A patchwork of patchy pauses--Please, patience for my patter.

The paucity of Susan's scribblings is patulous and was paved by Patt (Blame it on Patt, I always do). Pax!

This Peasant is a Pebble on the Shore of Slash. She's a peculiar person, not pedantic, I pray.

***********

I promised you the Pascal quote:

"Excuse the length of this letter. I had no time to write a short one."

The Very End.