Nobody Has to Know by Aries Part Nine Mulder finished buttoning his shirt and draped his tie around his neck just as Krycek appeared behind him and snaked an arm around his throat. "So," he rumbled in Mulder's ear as he gently tightened his hold. "What're you gonna do after work?" "Come back here," Mulder rasped as he closed his eyes. "Get my stuff then go straight to your place." "Mmm hmm." Krycek kissed Mulder's earlobe. "Then what?" "Put my clothes away. Get undressed...go into your bathroom and turn the shower on...undress you then get into the shower." "Then what?" "That's all you told me." Krycek grinned. "Oh, yeah. Well, here's the rest. After you wash yourself and me, I want you to face the wall, brace your hands against..." The ring of Mulder's buzzer cut Krycek off in mid-sentence. Mulder groaned softly as his lover released his hold and looked toward the door. "Who would that that be this time in the morning?" "I'm sure you can guess." Mulder turned to face Krycek. "She knows I'm here. If I don't answer it, she'll just use her key." "Do you want me to disappear into the bedroom?" Mulder stared steadily into the younger man's eyes. "No." "You're looking for trouble." "We gotta do this sooner or later." Krycek smiled at him, approval glowing in his eyes. He nodded toward the entrance. "Go answer the door." Mulder drew a deep breath and went to the door, unlocking then swinging it open. "I thought we should talk before we went in to the office," Scully started off, breezing past Mulder. "We can't leave things the way..." She stopped dead in her tracks as Krycek came into view, leaning against Mulder's desk, arms crossed over his chest. "Morning." Grinding her teeth, she spun away from Krycek and faced her partner. "What is he doing here?" "He came last night to straighten things out." "Last night." "Yes, Scully," Mulder said. "He stayed." Scully closed her eyes and bowed her head. "Mulder," she said softly. "...Get him out of here so we can talk." Krycek watched with silent interest, and when Mulder turned and walked toward him, he had a fleeting notion that he might actually be asked to leave. But Mulder didn't waver from his earlier vow to deal with the situation head on. "No, Scully." Mulder stopped in front of the other man and closed his eyes as his cheek was caressed. When Krycek dropped his hand, Mulder faced his partner. We'll face this now...all three of us, or not at all." Scully looked from Mulder to Krycek, and she stamped down the urge to walk over and smack the smugness off of his face. "Listen to me, Scully," Mulder said, drawing her attention. "You're my friend. We've been through hell and high water together..." "Some of which was caused by him." "Scully, please." The woman threw an arm up and walked away. "Go ahead, Mulder. I'm all ears." "We're closer than most family. If we don't support each other, who will?" "I'd love to support you, Mulder. And I would. In a normal, healthy relationship. And before you say it, no. It wouldn't have to be with a woman. That's not my problem. My problem is him. And, and...what you're doing with him." "I don't expect you to fully understand, Scully. I told you. I don't understand it all myself. I just know deep...deep inside me, that I need this." He looked at Krycek, eyes sparkling. "I need him." "This is insane. This absolutely insane." "I don't care what it looks like." "Looks like." Scully emitted a bitter laugh. "Is! Mulder, you're consorting in the most....disgusting of ways with a liar, a killer, a thief...need I go on? I can, you know." "I think I get the picture, Scully, thanks. I know this is going to go in one ear and right out the other, but I have not lost my mind. I'm just tired of the constant bullshit in our lives. Aren't you? Wouldn't you like to just unzip and step outside ofthat suit and be the person you know you are on the inside?" "You're not talking to me about anything I haven't thought about a million times, Mulder. But there are limits..." "Why?" Mulder broke in. "Can you tell me why?" "Why? Mulder, in the name of sanity and decency and good sense, there have to be limits!" Mulder stared for a moment then spoke. "Scully...you called Alex a liar..." "You're not going to tell me he isn't." "Let me finish. "How are we not liars if we don't live the lives we want to live?" "So, what are you saying? Are you going to quit the Bureau and spend your life at the end of a goddamn leash all in the interest of being truthful about who you are?" "Why don't you, for two minutes, put aside your self-righteous, narrow-minded opinions, Scully, and really listen to what he's saying," Krycek finally said. "I think you've got me confused with Mulder, Krycek," Scully hissed. "I don't follow your orders." "There's no way I could confuse you," Krycek purred, coming up behind Mulder and wrapping an arm around him. "He's much prettier." Kissing the smiling man's jaw, he looked back to the scowling woman. "Leave it alone, Scully. Let him do what he has to do." "What he has to do, or what you want him to do?" "I can't make Fox do anything he doesn't truly want to do, nor would I want to. As a matter of fact, if anyone's doing anything that the other wants, it's me doing what he wants." "Oh, please. Mulder, you're not buying this bullshit, are you?" "It does make a certain amount of sense." "Oh, my God. My God. You know what? I give up. I...do what you want, Mulder. Do whatever you bloody well please, okay? I want no part of it." "What are you saying, Scully? Are you walking out on our friendship?" "I'm not walking out on anything, Mulder," Scully droned. "Anything that happens, happens because you've made it that way." "You haven't answered my question, Scully. Can you find a way to live with this or not?" "What if I can't?" Mulder shook his head. "I don't know. I really don't know, Scully, how we're going to work together if you can't get past it." "Is that a threat? Get over it or else?" "No," Mulder groaned. "I don't want this between us." "Then get rid of it. Get rid of him." "That's not going to happen. Please, Scully," Mulder begged. "Please, can't you try? Nothing has to change between us. My personal life will never cross with my professional life." "That may be so, Mulder, but I already know what's going on. How can I look at you and not think about it?" "I'm sorry, Scully, but that'll be for you to figure out. For the sake of our friendship and our partnership, I hope that you do." Scully closed her eyes, her temples twitching rhythmically as she ground her teeth. "Mulder, you...I n-need some time, okay? I gotta think about this." "That's more than I hoped for," Mulder said. "I'll take it." Scully opened her eyes and found Krycek's gaze on her. He winked and gave her a smirk, and the urge to punch him in the face came back full force. "I have to go," she ground out past gritted teeth. "Will I see you at work?" "I'll be there soon." "Fine." Scully turned and marched toward the door. Just as she reached for the knob, Krycek's voice, soft and tinged with amusement, reached her ears. "Have a good day, Dana." Wrenching the knob around, she threw the door open and stormed out, slamming it behind her. "Damn, she's wound tight," Krycek said as he turned Mulder to face him. "You know what she needs? She needs to get laid." Mulder closed his eyes and smiled as Krycek caressed his rear. "I don't think it would help," he murmured. "I don't think anything could stop her from hating you...or this. I'm just going to have to deal with it." Krycek grasped Mulder's chin between his thumb and forefinger, making the other man look at him. "Can you?" "I have to. I don't have a choice." "We all have a choice." "I don't," Mulder whispered. "Not if I want to save what's left of my sanity." He looked down and smiled a bit. "That phrase in itself sounds crazy, doesn't it? If I want to hold on to my marbles, I have to give myself over to the last person in the world that I should want to." Suddenly unsure, pleading eyes turned up to Krycek's face. "Am I nuts?" "Time will tell, Fox." So...are we doing this or are we not? Last chance." Mulder knew he meant it. And though Krycek's answer held little comfort, he took a deep breath and plunged in. "...We are." Krycek took hold of Mulder's tie, drawing him in closer. So close that his breath softly fanned the older man's full lips. "Go to work," he murmured, tying the tie slowly. "Make nice with Scully...and when you're done..." He finished with the tie, smoothed his hand over it then let his fingers drift gently over Mulder's crotch. "...come home to me." Held captive by the soft, smoky voice and intense green gaze, Mulder nodded but made no move to leave. Krycek lifted one eyebrow and gave the older man a hint of a smile. "You going?" "Don't want to," Mulder whispered, lowering his head and rubbing it against Krycek's shoulder. "Because you don't want to deal with Scully or because you just can't seem to tear yourself away from my magnificent presence?" "Both. It's going to be a long day." "Just try to keep your mind on your work, try not to butt heads with Scully, and before you know it, you'll be on your way home to me." Mulder took a deep breath and nodded. "I guess I should get going, then." The two walked to the door together and out of the building, stopping at Mulder's car. Krycek leaned up against the driver's side door and stared at the man standing a couple of feet from him. Silently, he pointed to the concrete directly in front of his feet, and Mulder moved forward, stopping when their bodies were lightly touching. He lifted one hand, threading his fingers through the older man's hair and pulled him into a soft, yet utterly knee weakening kiss. He released Mulder an eternity later and pushed away from the car, stalking slowly to his own vehicle. Mulder watched, mouth watering at the seductive sway of Krycek's tight ass, and he cursed his damn job. He made himself look away and leave, arriving at the office some forty minutes after Scully, who was sitting at her desk, trying much too hard to look like she was interested in what she was reading. Mulder slipped into the office, hanging his jacket up and crossing to his desk. "Anything going on?" "No." "Well, I...I'm going to get started on this..." Scully slammed her Autopsy Today magazine down and started in. "Mulder, what the hell is wrong with you?" //Ah, fuck.// "I've got this pain, Scully. It's in the vicinity of my ass, and it comes in the form of a small, redheaded..." "This isn't funny, Mulder." "Never said it was." "Will you let me run some tests?" "Tests? What d'you mean? What kinds of tests?" "On you. Mulder, I think he's done something to you. Given you something, maybe." Mulder clapped his hand around the back of his neck and began to pace. "Oh, my God, my God." He stopped and spun toward his partner, giving her a sharp glare. "I'm not under the influence of anything, okay? Not drugs, not alcohol, not...not...post hypnotic suggestion. I want Alex." His tone softened. "I want him. Nothing you say or do is going to change that, so please. Please, Scully, I'm begging you. Just accept it." "Mulder." Scully got up and walked over to her partner. Taking his hand in hers, she looked directly into his eyes. "I'm sorry if I'm coming off as an insufferable shrew. I'm just...I'm scared for you. On top of the fact that you're doing something so completely out of character, you're doing it with Alex Krycek. Alex Krycek, Mulder." "How many times are you going to tell me that?" Mulder asked. "I know who he is." "No, I don't think you do. Not any more. Your raging hormones are clogging up your memory." Mulder rolled his eyes and started to turn away, but Scully grabbed by his arm and spun him back to face her. "Just think about it, Mulder. Please. Take some time. Stay away from him for a while and just think about it." Mulder shook his head and tried to move out of Scully's grip, but she held fast. "Why not, Mulder? Why can't you just tell him to back off and leave you alone for a couple of weeks while you think about this?" "I don't want to." "Why? What are you afraid of?" "I'm afraid of losing one more minute of my life." "What life? This S&M crap? When did that become a life?" "You don't get it, Scully," Mulder growled. "It's about letting go and learning to trust and taking control of my life and..." "How exactly do you do that, Mulder, on the end of a leash?" Mulder jerked his arm out of Scully's grasp and walked away. "I'm sorry, Mulder, but...has he got you so blinded that you can't see how this looks to me?" "No. I understand how it looks to you. I understand how you feel. I'm not asking you to do an instant one-eighty. I just want you to try and understand how I feel, and to respect it even if you disagree with it." "And I do, Mulder. Strenuously...what if he hurts you? Have you thought about that? You could get seriously injured." "I trust him not to do anything that would cause serious or permanent injury." "How wonderfully stupid of you." "All right, I've had it. I don't want to talk about this any more." Scully dropped her head into her hands and groaned. "Mulder, I'm..." She lifted her head and gave her partner an imploring look. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. I'll leave it alone. Just do me a favor. Be careful." Mulder opened his mouth to speak, and she cut him off. "I mean really careful, Mulder. If anything happens to you, I swear on my life, nothing'll stop me from tracking him down and cutting his liver out with my house key." At that, Mulder had to smile. "Scully. Look..." he approached and rested his hands on her shoulders. "I'm sorry, too. Not about Alex, but about the way I might have handled this with you. You're my best friend. I don't want to lose that." "Me either," Scully sighed. "So. Truce?" "Truce." The two shook hands then Mulder pulled his partner into an affectionate hug. "Don't worry, Scully," he whispered. "I'll be fine. I promise." "You'd better be. Or I'm telling you, Mulder..." "I know, I know." Mulder released Scully, smiling down at her. "Relax. Let's drop this now and get to work." The two fell into silence, each tending to their own work, and when the day had finally passed, they parted with a brief hug and another admonition from Scully for Mulder to watch his ass and a second threat to Krycek's life if he did anything to hurt Mulder. Mulder drove straight to his apartment, packed his things, fed his fish then left quickly. He arrived at Krycek's building in good time, his throbbing cock leading him up to the high rise apartment. He entered the mostly dark space, and the soft sound of classical music met his ears. Once used to the spare light, his eyes found Krycek sitting quietly on the sofa, and though his first instinct was to go to him, he remembered his orders and followed them. Walking into Krycek's room, he found prepared space in the open closet, where he neatly hung his clothes. When he'd accomplished that, he undressed and walked naked into the bathroom, where he ran the shower. He returned to the bedroom and gasped in surprise when he found Krycek standing in the doorway. Mulder stopped for a moment, staring at the younger man, then he moved forward and lifted his hands to Krycek's shirt. As his gaze went to his fingers, watching them undo the black buttons, Krycek's hand came up under his chin. He followed the silent direction and looked into black-green eyes as he finished his task. Krycek shrugged out of the shirt, letting it slide to the floor and stood while Mulder tenderly stroked his chest and abdomen. His lashes fluttered, and his breath caught as he endured the light touch, and then it was gone. Mulder kneeled on the floor, removing his shoes and socks then stood and began to work on his pants, slowly undoing the belt, button and zipper. He pushed the pants down to Krycek's knees then followed with his underwear, working them over the stony erection. When they met his pants, Mulder pushed them both down to the floor and off. He gathered up the clothing, followed Krycek into the bathroom, and dropped everything into the hamper before joining the other man in the shower. Krycek waited patiently, enjoying the sight of Mulder washing himself, working thick, creamy lather over the lean, muscled planes of his body. "Slowly," he whispered, and Mulder immediately stopped then started again at a much more leisurely pace. With heavy eyes, he watched Mulder's hands move, hypnotized by their seductive cadence...flowing over his skin, depositing lather, then stroking over the same spot with his other hand, helping the water wash it away. He breathed in through his nose, deeply, and let it out in a slow, shaky rasp, and when Mulder's hands moved to his crotch, Krycek snatched them away, holding his wrists in a firm grip. Heart thrashing in his chest, Mulder watched Krycek and waited to see what he would do. Several seconds passed before he was released and Krycek nodded, indicating that he should finish. He did so, moving a little more surely, a little less seductively, and when he finished, he turned his attention on Krycek. "How was your day?" //Fine, June, just fine. Say, where are Wally and the Beaver?// "Okay." Mulder answered softly, trying to concentrate on answering Krycek and not on the feel of the man's slick skin under his hands. "Scully and I have formed a truce...sort of...I think." "Really? I didn't think she'd ever accept us." "She's still not the least bit happy about it. I don't think she ever will be. But for my sake, she's going to try to keep quiet about it. She does want me to know, however, that she reserves the right to kill you if you do anything to hurt me." "I'd be a damn fool if I dismissed that threat." Krycek's eyes fluttered closed as Mulder smoothed the sponge over his ass then worked it between his cheeks. He stood quietly, controlling his breathing as his imagination flashed on images he'd worked hard to bury. //Stop it. It's Fox. It's just Fox.// Mulder watched Krycek give himself a hard shake, and he stopped. "Are you....did I...you okay?" "Fine," Krycek rasped. "Go on." Gently, Mulder washed every inch of his lover, relishing the look of pained bliss on Krycek's face when he paid special attention to his cock. When he was completely finished, he set the sponge down and turned his back to Krycek, bracing his hands against the wall as he'd been instructed to do this morning, and he waited. Pleased that Mulder had remembered the last thing he'd said before Scully had busted in on them, Krycek moved in behind him and ran his hand over the broad back, feeling the other man's muscles bunch under his light touch. "Did you think about me today?" "Yes." "What were you thinking about?" "Getting out of work and getting here." Mulder closed his eyes and moaned as Krycek stroked his back and ass. "I wanted to be with you." "Now you are," Krycek murmured, teasing the cleft between Mulder's ass with his fingers. "Are you happy, Fox?" Mulder twitched and grunted as the other man slipped a finger into him. "...Yes...yes." "Show me," Alex purred. "Show me how happy you are that you're here with me." Mulder tipped his head, arching his back and pushing against the teasing finger. Krycek quickly added a second finger, and Mulder moaned and began to rock back and forth against them. "Good, Fox?" Krycek asked. "Yes." "Yes, Alex." "Yes, Alex," Mulder breathed. "That's one of our little changes," Krycek informed him. "When answering a question, it'll be, yes Alex or no Alex." He licked the area of skin between Mulder's shoulder blades. "I love to hear you say my name. Plus, you could use a little more discipline. Don't you agree?" Mulder moaned as Krycek pulled out and worked three fingers into him. "Yes...yes, Alex." "Good." Another kiss, this one on Mulder's shoulder as Krycek leaned up against him. "Are you ready for me to fuck you?" "I've been ready," Mulder gasped as Krycek's fingers pushed into him once more then exited, leaving him empty. "Please, Alex...please..." Krycek's hands slid over Mulder's hips then around and down his thighs and back again as his teeth closed on the older man's earlobe. Pulling gently, he let his teeth scrape along the tender flesh and let go. "Did you think about what we did last night?" "All day. I couldn't stop." "And what did you think about it, at work, in the cold light of day, with your partner not more than a few feet from you?" "I thought..." Mulder swallowed as Krycek nipped at the back of his neck and pushed his cock against his rear. "...that if you'd have let me, I would have come back to your apartment this morning and spent the day taking your cock up my ass." Krycek's cock swelled, and he pulled Mulder's ass cheeks apart, pushing it deeper into the valley between them. "And down your throat?" "Whatever you wanted," Mulder breathed, eyes closed. "Anything you want, Alex...anything." "You wanted to give that to me before, didn't you?" Krycek asked. "You really did want to." He pressed harder against Mulder, prompting a long gasp. "Yes," Mulder hissed between breathless sighs. "Yessss, Alex. Anything. I wanted...wanted to sssso much. I'm sorry I...I ruined it." "No," Krycek moaned, kissing and caressing Mulder's slick skin. "You didn't." "I did," Mulder insisted. "And I...I should be punished." Krycek shook his head. "I can't, Fox. I can't punish you for something that wasn't your fault. Don't look back. Forget about the past few weeks. We're starting over." "Again." "I know," Krycek cooed. "But it'll be fine this time. I'm gonna make you trust me, Fox. And we'll be fine." Mulder's eyes rolled up into his head, and his fingers scratched against the tile as Krycek grasped his cock at the base and began to push it into him. "God...oh, God." For the second time in as many days, Mulder found himself with Alex Krycek's cock in his ass, and he knew as he did last night that this was what his life was missing...part of it, anyway, and he silently promised himself and Alex that he wouldn't do anything to screw it up again. Krycek pushed farther into the constricting heat, and he bit gently into Mulder's shoulder to force himself to concentrate on something other than the waves of intense pleasure crashing over him. Up to his balls in Fox Mulder's ass...and Mulder wanted it. If anyone had ever told him that this would be possible, he'd have laughed at them then shot them for daring to attempt to get his hopes up in such a cruel way. Krycek's hands found Mulder's hips and, biting and sucking at the other man's shoulder and neck, he began to move, thrusting slowly into his ass. Gritting his teeth, Mulder shuddered hard against the tiled wall as his cock was pressed lightly against it with each thrust. "Mmmmmmnnnnnnh. Ahh. Oh, God...Jesus...Alex. Alex, please..." "Not yet," Krycek rumbled. "Not until I tell you to." Mulder's head fell back against Krycek's shoulder, and he whimpered piteously. "But....Alex..." "Shhhh. Just relax, Fox. You can do it." He pulled out and thrust a little harder, pushing a harsh groan from the other man. "You will. It's what I want. Do you understand?" A soft sob rolled in Mulder's throat, and he uttered a tight, "Yes, Alex." "Good. Now, back away from the wall a little." Mulder did as he was asked, and Krycek stroked his ass and gave his shoulder a soft kiss before gripping his hips and beginning to pound into him. His mouth fell open on a surprised gasp, and he cried Krycek's name. He tried to breathe deeply and compose himself but he was unable to get a handle on his body's responses. He was going to come. He felt it. He was going to blow without Alex ever having touched him. //No. No. Breathe. Dammit, breathe. Relax. Don't disappoint him. You can't let him down.// Mulder took long, deep breaths in through his nose and let them out through his mouth, and he managed to hold on by the skin of his teeth. Krycek knew it, and he rewarded the older man with a gentle hand around his cock. "Good, baby. Very good." He stroked the long, obscenely swollen shaft in a teasing rhythm. "Soon. Soon." Mulder's face was a mask of torment as he squeezed out every ounce of control he could find. Alex's mouth, his teeth, his tongue...his wet skin, sliding against Mulder's as he slammed into him, all pushed him right up to the edge of total meltdown, but he fought it. And he continued to fight right up until the moment Alex told him he could let go. "All right, baby," Krycek panted as he began to stroke Mulder's cock in earnest. "You can...can come now. Come for me." Mulder's clenched jaw loosened and fell open as he emitted two gasping, desperate sobs before the dam burst, and he screamed, coming all over the shower wall. His muscles seized, closing tightly around the cock pistoning in and out of his ass, and Krycek broke. Crying Mulder's name, he pumped streams of hot semen into his lover's ass and then sagged against him, gasping for breath. When he'd regained some strength, Krycek pulled out of Mulder, straightened up and turned the other man around. His arms curved around Mulder, and he held him quietly, letting the water wash over them. Mulder clung to Krycek, soaking in the younger man's wet warmth. He was weak and he was sore, and he wouldn't have traded the feeling for the world. "Let's finish up and get out of here before the water gets cold," Krycek murmured into Mulder's drenched hair. Releasing his hold on Krycek, Mulder reached for the sponge to rewash some of their recently used parts, but the other man took it from him. He stood on shaky legs, not knowing what to do or say as Krycek soaped up the sponge and began to wash him. "What is it, Fox?" Krycek asked, taking notice of the look on his lover's face. "Are you all right?" "I'm okay, I...I just...isn't this my job?" "Your job is to please me. Touching you pleases me, Fox. Making you feel good pleases me. Okay?" Mulder nodded and whispered a sultry, "Yes, Alex." "Mmmm." Krycek kissed Mulder softly then completed his task. He washed himself quickly, then the two stepped out of the tub, and he took a towel from the shelf and began gently drying Mulder. When he'd dried himself as well, he took the other man by the hand and led him into the bedroom. Moving to the dresser, he withdrew a few items and approached Mulder slowly. Mulder recognized the collar he'd worn and removed twice. //Third time's a charm.// As Krycek fastened it around his neck, he lifted his fingers to it, caressing the black leather. His eyes closed for a moment, and when they opened, Krycek was watching him. "Are you all right? Are having second thoughts?" "No, Alex, I...I'm just grateful for another chance. Thank you." Krycek hooked his finger through the metal loop and pulled Mulder in. "I missed you," he said against the other man's lips. Mulder closed his eyes and opened his mouth, allowing Krycek's tongue access. A brief caress was all he received before Krycek pulled away and held up a skimpy, sheer thong. Mulder allowed Krycek to put it on him then stood waiting as Krycek walked toward the closet. He couldn't see what Krycek was taking out of a box on the floor, and when the younger man turned around, he still wasn't entirely sure what it was he had. The chains were visible enough, but as for the rest of it... Krycek came back to Mulder and fastened a leather cuff on each wrist then connected each to the collar with the lightweight silver chains he held. There was enough room for Mulder to freely move his arms, and he wasn't sure of the purpose of them other than the fact that their mere presence made him feel more kinky than he already did. "Nice," Krycek commented as he stepped back to view his handiwork. "How's it feel?" Mulder shrugged, looking down at the simple contraption. "Fine." Krycek smiled and turned to get dressed. When he'd slipped into a pair of worn jeans and a white t-shirt, he motioned Mulder into the living room. "What do you say to some dinner? I'm starving. I'd got something started earlier, but you can help me finish it." Mulder followed the other man into the kitchen, and as he was instructed on what to do, he found that the chains, while not entirely cumbersome did get in the way of his tasks. As he searched for ways to keep their annoyance to a minimum, his frustration built. He was about to complain to Alex about it when it hit him. They were supposed to irritate him. This must be some sort of lesson in patience. //Okay...okay.// Mulder took a deep breath and tried his best to ignore the nuisance, and when dinner was completed, Krycek walked up behind Mulder, pulling the older man against him and planting an affectionate kiss on his shoulder. "Will you serve, please?" Mulder nodded and set about putting the food in the plates as Krycek retreated to the dining room. He carried both plates in, placed them on the table then returned to the kitchen for their drinks. Placing Krycek's glass in front of him, he stood uncertainly by the other man's chair until Krycek motioned to the other chair. He took his seat and, watching Krycek for a moment, slid the chair closer to the other man and lifted his own fork. Picking up the other man's food, Mulder held it to his lips. Krycek smiled at Mulder and opened his mouth, accepting the offering. He said nothing for a while, letting Mulder feed him, then he spoke up, noting that Mulder was not eating his own food. "Eat before it gets cold, Fox." Mulder ate a little, now alternating between feeding himself and Krycek. When both men finished, he picked up the plates and took them into the kitchen. When he didn't immediately return, Krycek got up to see what he was doing. He found Mulder cleaning the kitchen as he struggled to keep the swinging chains out of the way. Mulder felt a presence behind him as he finished loading the dishwasher, and before he could turn around, Krycek was pushing him against the counter. He began to tremble as Krycek disappeared for a moment then returned, pulling the thong to the side and pushing his slippery cock between his ass cheeks. He took several deep breaths, trying to calm himself as Krycek drove himself deeper and deeper inside him. Krycek had not prepared him this time with his fingers, and though his cock was quite slick, he winced as his tight ass stretched to accommodate its girth. Giving Mulder no time to adjust, Krycek began a quick, rhythmic assault, slamming into him in short, hard jabs. Orgasm hit him in a blinding instant, and a loud, harsh growl rolled in his throat as he emptied himself into Mulder's ass. He stood draped over Mulder's back for a moment, catching his breath, then he stood up, pulling Mulder with him. He turned the older man around and wrapped him in his arms. "I enjoyed that," he purred, stroking Mulder's hair. "Thank you, Fox. Please clean me up, then we can go relax in the living room." Mulder pulled out of Krycek's embrace and located the paper towels, dampened two, then gently cleaned his cock. As he disposed of the soiled napkins, Krycek pulled up his pants and fastened them. "Come on." Krycek held out his hand, and Mulder took it. The couple walked into the living room, and Krycek dropped into a corner of the sofa. "Sit with me," he instructed softly, and Mulder sank down onto the soft leather. Krycek's gaze shifted briefly to the rigid erection his lover sported, and it rose to Mulder's own eyes, and he smiled. "Do you need to come, Fox?" Mulder closed his eyes and nodded. "Yes...yes, Alex." Krycek caressed the older man's cheek with the backs of his knuckles. "Get me hard again," he whispered. "And I'll take care of you." Mulder hesitated, and Krycek turned a curious gaze on him. "What is it?" "I'm not sure I...know how." "Don't think," Krycek instructed. "Just feel. What does your body tell you to do?" Mulder lowered his eyes and tried to tune in to his baser instincts. His lashes lifted, and his gaze traveled over Krycek's body. One hand began to follow, stroking over the younger man's thigh, over his abdomen then up to his chest. Krycek watched him, eyes fixed intently on Mulder's face, and when the older man's trembling fingers whispered over his mouth, he touched his tongue to them, giving silent encouragement. Mulder moved in slowly, licking at Krycek's mouth, coaxing his tongue back out. Tenderly, they explored and teased, and Mulder's hand moved back down Krycek's body, undoing the buttons on his shirt then slipping inside to touch the warm flesh. A tiny sound of pleasure broke from Krycek's throat, and Mulder moved to one of his nipples, tweaking the tightening bud. "Nnh." Krycek's skin tingled, and his recently exhausted cock began to reawaken, slowly swelling. He continued to allow Mulder to have his way until the older man's hand left his chest and drifted down to the front of his pants. Mulder undid the zipper and slipped his hand inside the black underwear, finding Krycek half-hard and very warm under his touch. Even as his hips bucked up into the touch, he quickly grasped Mulder's wrist and pulled his hand away. Whimpering softly, Mulder put up no struggle as Krycek gathered the chains close to the cuffs and held them together in one hand, effectively securing Mulder's hands behind his back. With his free hand, he worked his pants and underwear down to his thighs. "Finish," Krycek rasped, eyelids drooping heavily. Mulder drew in a shuddering breath as he took a moment to process exactly what it was Alex wanted him to do, then he leaned forward, kissing and licking his way down Krycek's chest. He reached the thick nest of hair at Krycek's groin, and he nuzzled the wiry curls for a moment before touching his tongue to the flushed organ. He had never tasted another man's cock before, and he trembled as his tongue traveled over the velvety surface. Krycek's head fell back, resting against the cushion as his cock hardened to a painful degree. The urge to order Fox to suck him off now hammered at him, but his promise was to take care of Fox after he'd made him hard, and that much had been accomplished. He couldn't go back on his word, or he'd destroy any tiny shred of trust he might have managed to build today. "Fox," he gasped. "Baby...okay. Stop." Krycek pulled back on the chain, the tension on Mulder's arms forcing him back into a sitting position. Eyes glazed with arousal, he smirked at Mulder. "How about a ride?" Panting heavily, Mulder cast a curious look on the other man. Krycek let go of the chains, freeing Mulder's arms. "Did you like the feel of the olive oil earlier? Different than the lube." Well, that explained that. "Go get it." Mulder rose from the sofa and went to the kitchen as quickly as his shaking legs would allow him. He located the olive oil and returned to the living room, where he found Krycek sprawled on the sofa, idly stroking himself. "Put some on me," he ordered softly, and Mulder obeyed, drizzling a bit of the oil into this hand and applying it to his lover's cock. "Good. Now take the thong off and straddle me. Face to face." Mulder removed the thong then swung one long leg over Krycek's lap and kneeled over him, awaiting his next order. Krycek grasped his cock at the base with one hand and guided Mulder down onto it with the other. He watched, hypnotized as a mixture of discomfort and excitement washed over the older man's features. "I'll never get tired of this," Krycek moaned, stroking Mulder's ass and pulling the cheeks further apart as he pushed deeper. Mulder cried out at the painful pleasure, and he dropped his head to Krycek's shoulder and begged for more. "Harder. Oh, God, Alex...please. Harder." "You want it harder?" Krycek asked, tapping Mulder's ass with one hand. "It's up to you. Ride me, Fox." Mulder braced his hands against Krycek's shoulders and lifted his head. Training a misty, amber-flecked stare on the other man, he began to move. Slowly at first, finding his balance and his rhythm. Then faster. And then harder until their bodies were brutally slapping together, and he was sobbing with every thrust. "Ohhhh, God," Krycek grunted, wrapping one hand around Mulder's cock as the other found the chains and once again restrained his hands behind his back. The action aroused Mulder beyond all reason, and he ground himself down on Krycek's cock. He tossed his head back and screamed as the action stimulated his prostate for the first time, and he felt more pleasure than he could ever have imagined. Krycek pumped Mulder's cock with long, sure strokes, and he muttered sweet, obscene things to him as the older man found his release. As Mulder shot streams of hot semen over Krycek's lower chest and stomach, Krycek came, bucking beneath the other man until exhaustion stopped him. Mulder fell against him, gasping for breath, and he released his lover's arms and held him gently. "So beautiful," Krycek whispered. Then softer still, "You belong to me." Mulder nodded, nuzzling the other man. "No more sleeping on the floor," Krycek promised. "You'll sleep in my bed. I want to wake up in the morning and feel you, naked and warm beside me. I want to be able to pull you back against me and shove my dick up your ass before you even open your eyes..." With all his energy drained, Mulder could do little more than moan in response. "I'll fuck you every morning...I'll make sure you feel me all day at work." Krycek kissed the curve of Mulder's neck. "I'm going to hook you, Fox. You'll never want to leave me." "'M'already hooked," Mulder breathed. "And I don't want to leave you." Krycek hugged Mulder tightly and kissed his temple then sat quietly, stroking the older man's back. Mulder remained on Krycek's lap, his legs folded beneath him until they began to ache, and he had to move. "Alex, I...I have to..." Krycek helped Mulder get up then, rubbing his lover's legs, he instructed him to go to the bathroom for a wet cloth to clean them up with. Mulder headed slowly into the bathroom, stretching his legs and working out the kinks. He cleaned himself up then returned to the living room to take care of Alex. When that was done, Alex motioned for him to lie down on the couch and rest his head in his lap. He did as the younger man asked, facing him, and his eyes drifted shut as gentle fingers raked slowly through his hair. Several minutes of silence passed, then Krycek called to Mulder. "Fox? Are you sleeping?" "...No, Alex." "We haven't discussed the new rules yet." Golden-brown lashes lifted, and Mulder looked up at the other man. "We've only really established rule one." Krycek smiled and stroked Mulder's cheek. "You're doing very well with that one. But I think we should get the rest straight before we go to sleep. "Rule two is as before. When you leave the apartment, you'll put your collar on my dresser. As soon as you come back, you're to put it on. If I want you to wear anything special, it'll be laid out on my bed. If not, you'll wear nothing. "Three. You're not here as my maid. Any chore I ask you to do will simply be an exercise in discipline. You'll do it when I ask you to, no hesitation. Understand?" Mulder rubbed his cheek against the hand cradling it. "Yes, Alex." "Good. Four...and you know this, but for the sake of clarity, we'll go over it anyway. You will give yourself to me any time I want you, however I want you." No more needed to be said about that rule. "Five...something else I told you, but there's more. No more sleeping on the floor. You sleep with me in my bed. You'll be chained to it, however. Thing is, you'll be able to move fairly freely, and you'll be able to release yourself easily enough if you have to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, but you'll come right back and reconnect the chain. Got it?" "Yes, Alex." Krycek sifted his fingers through Mulder's hair, lifting the heavy strands and letting them drop back to his head. "What else? Uhhh....if there's anything that's bothering you or making you uncomfortable in any way, I need to know about it. I don't want you to let anything eat at you. That's how trouble starts. Agreed?" Mulder nodded. "Agreed." "Okay, that's rule six. Seven....If you need some attention, let me know." "Attention?" "Sex." "Really?" Mulder asked. "I don't..." He chewed on his lower lip and fell silent. "You don't what?" "I...I told you I'd done some reading on S&M, master/slave relationships and the like, and...this isn't exactly following convention." "I realized that convention just wasn't going to work with you, so some adjustments were needed," Krycek answered. "Is this the restructuring you were talking about?" "Yeah." "Guess I'm more trouble than you anticipated," Mulder said, lowering his eyes. "I told you, that's my fault," Krycek murmured. "Assuming you'd just lay yourself at my feet and go along with everything I wanted with no concessions from me was crazy. I guess I've been so used to doing things my way or no way, that for one insane minute I forgot that it was Fox Mulder I was dealing with now." Mulder lay in apologetic silence, and Krycek leaned over to kiss his head. "Don't feel bad. You are who you are, and I wouldn't change you for anything. The fight's the thing, y'know? Makes what you want all the more worth having. You're so worth having, Fox. That's why I went to you the other night. I told you once that I want you. That hasn't changed." He stroked Mulder's hair and stared down at him. "If anything, the desire has grown." "I don't understand this," Mulder said, closing his eyes. "How did we get here? How did...you just said the fight's the thing. I can't fight this, even though I feel like I should. I...I don't want to." He paused for a moment, debating whether he should say it or not. Then he did. "Scully thought you did something to me. Some sort of brainwashing." "Do you think I have?" Krycek asked softly. "I...I'd be lying to myself and you if I said I thought you were incapable. I don't believe you have." He didn't sound entirely sure. "Fox. Look at me." Mulder opened his eyes and turned them up to Krycek's face. "Whatever you're feeling...all the desires you have...they're yours. I've done nothing to influence them." Mulder studied the other man a good long while, then his eyes closed again, and he wrapped his arms around Krycek's waist "I just don't understand how it is that this can feel so right when common sense...every memory of everything that's ever happened with us in the past is telling me that it's wrong." "You'll drive yourself crazy, Fox, if you continue to analyze it. You're a man who's always gone with his gut. Do what your gut tells you and don't worry about the rest. Don't look back, and don't apologize." Eyes still closed, Mulder said nothing. "I know it's scary," Krycek said softly. "You're putting so much on the line. You're afraid that if you let go, you'll fall and there'll be no one at the bottom to catch you. I'm telling you, Fox, I'm there. Let go. It's all right. Just let go." Mulder let out a hard breath then reached up and pulled Krycek down for a hungry kiss. Krycek responded feverishly, plunging one hand into Mulder's hair, his fingers clutching at the silky strands as he wound his free arm around the other man and jerked him against his chest. One kiss turned into another and still another, more passionate than the last, and in no time Krycek's jeans were undone, and Mulder was stroking his cock as they kissed. In the back of his frazzled mind, Krycek tried to count how many times today this would make that he'd come, but he couldn't focus long enough. Fox's hand on him, tongue in his mouth destroyed his concentration. He broke the kiss, both men moaning as he did, and the hand in Mulder's hair tightened to the point of slight discomfort and pushed his head down to his lap. The blood pounded through Mulder's body, and he began to tremble as he licked delicately at Krycek's cock. Maybe Alex would let him finish this time. Maybe he could... Krycek's head fell back against the sofa, and he let out a hard growl as Mulder's lips closed over the head of his cock. "Oh, God...Fox...shhhhhit." The hand in Mulder's hair pushed down slightly, encouraging Mulder to take more into his mouth, and when a third of the shaft was engulfed, Mulder's tongue began to swirl around it, and he sucked gently, sending Krycek into spasms of pleasure. "Baby...Christ. Oh, Christ, that mouth." Krycek's fingers tightened a notch more, and he lifted his hips slightly, letting them fall back to the sofa. He repeated the act, and Mulder whimpered around the rigid organ. A few more gentle thrusts, and he began to meet Krycek halfway. "That's good," Krycek gasped. "Oh, yeah." He wanted to lunge upward. Make Fox swallow every inch of him. The mindless animal in him screamed for him to do it. But the part of him that knew what that felt like, and remembered that this was Fox's first time still had just enough control to prevent it. The hand in Fox's hair gentled, petting the golden-brown surface, and his hips stilled as Fox's head continued to bob up and down on half of his cock. "So good. Beautiful F...Fox..." Mulder wallowed in Krycek's praise, taking great pride in every moan, every gasp. It gave him the courage to take him deeper, and on the next downstroke, he tried, but he took a little too much at once, and he gagged and pulled off quickly. "Easy baby," Krycek breathed. "Slow down. It's okay." Mulder tried again, taking a tiny bit more, but once the head of his lover's cock hit the back of his tongue, he began to gag again. He let out a whimper of frustration, and Krycek attempted to soothe him. "Just go as far as you're comfortable going. That'll be enough, okay?" Sniffing, Mulder again sucked Krycek in halfway. He gripped the exposed half of the younger man's cock in his fist and began to pump it as he sucked, and in seconds, Krycek was moaning again, rolling his head along the back of the sofa. "That's it....oh, yeah. Don't stop...good...oh, good....mphhh...mnpphhh!" Krycek pushed Mulder off of him, his seed hitting the side of the older man's face and mouth. Panting heavily, he lifted his head and looked down at his lover, head again resting in his lap, semen dripping down the right side of his face. "Ah, God. Sorry, Fox. I just...I didn't want to choke you." He rubbed the older man's shoulder. "Why don't you go get cleaned up?" Mulder sat up slowly, swiping at some of the fluid running down his chin. His eyes fixed on Krycek's, he brought the hand up to his mouth and licked it away. Krycek watched, mesmerized, and when Mulder finished, he brought the other man's hand to his lips and kissed it. "Go on. Go clean up." Mulder rose from the sofa and headed to the bathroom, where he stood looking at himself in the mirror for a good long time. His hand rose to his cheek, and he ran his fingers through the increasingly sticky substance there. //Alex Krycek's slave. His whore? ...Or lover?// //All three.// And maybe that wasn't so bad. He smiled at his reflection. No, it wasn't so bad. He rinsed his face with warm water, dampened a cloth then returned to Krycek, who hadn't moved from his spot on the sofa. Tenderly, he washed the other man's cock then snuggled up to him, laying his head on his shoulder. "Are there any more rules?" Krycek sighed contentedly. "Probably, but I forgot where I was." "Rule seven was letting you know if I wanted some attention." Krycek chuckled, and Mulder wondered if he'd ever get used to hearing such a sound coming from him. "Oh, yeah. If the phone rings and I'm not around to answer it, let it go to voicemail." Mulder had to bite the inside of his mouth to keep from asking why he wasn't permitted to answer the phone. Krycek waited a couple of beats, eyes on Mulder. He suppressed a smirk and went on. "Rule nine. Outside of work, you're not to leave the apartment unless you're with me. I'll take care of all your wants and needs. Just tell me what they are. And one last thing..." Krycek paused, and an odd look swept fleetingly over his features, then it was gone. "At the end of our week, if you do decide that our relationship can't go any further, just go. I don't want to hear your reasons, and I don't want any apologies. Take the collar off and leave." Mulder looked for the hardness in Krycek's words, but none was to be found. Only a soft sadness resonated in his tone and, Mulder's mind being what it was, began to turn the words over and over, analyzing each syllable, each inflection. "I guess that's it," Krycek murmured then gave Mulder a hint of a smile. "But I reserve the right to make up more rules as we go along...Fox?" Mulder stared at nothing in particular, not hearing his name being called. He was too busy trying to sort out the jumble of thoughts in his head. It wasn't until he felt Krycek's hand on his cheek that he came around. He lifted his head, meeting the other man's gaze, and his mind cleared. "Anything you want, Alex." Krycek stared. He'd heard the sentiment from Mulder before, but something in his tone...the look in Mulder's eyes...it hit him with a force it hadn't previously done, and he believed that it might actually be so this time. Mulder closed his eyes as Krycek gathered him into his arms, and the two sat together for a very long time, embracing and caressing, neither man speaking until Krycek looked down at his watch and realized how late it had become. "Time for bed." Mulder lifted his head from Krycek's shoulder and met the younger man's eyes before dropping his gaze and rising to his feet. He let Krycek lead him to the bedroom and assisted in the removal of the other man's clothes, folding them neatly and laying them on a chair before turning down the bed. He found a leather strap, which came up between the headboard and the mattress, lying on the right side of the bed. There was approximately eight visible inches, and at the end of it was a ring to which he could attach his chains. Krycek watched Mulder unhook the chains from his collar then sit on the bed and connect them to the strap. He lifted his legs onto the mattress and lay on his back, hands above his head despite the abundance of slack in the chains, and he looked up at Krycek through lowered lashes. Krycek's breath caught in his throat, and he lowered himself to the bed beside Mulder, lifting a hand to the older man's chest and petting the sprinkling of golden-brown hairs there. "We really should get some sleep." Mulder arched slightly against the soothing hand. "But?" "You make it very hard to think about sleep." Mulder's eyes rolled up in his head before his lids closed over them, and he arched further, purring softly at the light touches. "Have I told you that you're an incredible slut?" Krycek whispered, leaning over Mulder, letting his lips brush the other man's. "Yes, Alex," Mulder whispered back, ending the two word answer on a soft moan. "I like it." Krycek closed his teeth around Mulder's lower lip and pulled gently. "I like it a lot." He stared down into lust-clouded eyes. "It's a crime, you know? Having kept this part of yourself buried for all these years. It's beautiful." "I guess I'd been saving it for you," Mulder answered, licking at the younger man's mouth. "You think so?" Krycek asked, stroking the tips of his fingers over Mulder's chest and stomach. "I do." Krycek lowered his eyes. "I don't know, Fox." "Because of that first night?" Mulder asked, his arousal dampened a bit by Krycek's soft, almost sad tone. "You didn't know I was watching you at that point," Krycek said. "And you were ready to let those guys do whatever they wanted to you." "I was drunk," Mulder answered apologetically. "If I hadn't been, I...I don't know. I'm sorry, Alex, I...if it still bothers you, I...I...I don't know what to do. Please don't doubt me. It's you. Just you. You're all I want. I couldn't be this way with anyone else." He reached up, tugging Krycek down. "Please, Alex. Please believe me. I'm yours." He initiated a desperate kiss. "Please." And another kiss. "Please." Krycek's chest heaved with each increasingly labored breath. He grabbed a handful of Mulder's hair and clamped his mouth down on the older man's, drinking in frantic sobs. The hand on Mulder's torso roughened its gentle movements, traveling from chest to abdomen and back again, squeezing and pulling at Mulder's already hardened nipples. Mulder's mouth fell open on a sharp cry, and Krycek took advantage of it, plunging his tongue inside as he continued his assault. Mulder sobbed and grunted, bucking upward as he clung to his lover. "Spread your legs," Krycek panted, pulling away from Mulder's mouth. Mulder obeyed immediately, opening his legs wide. He trembled at the thought of Alex forcing his cock deep into his ass, and the younger man felt the violent tremors pass through him. "You want it bad, don't you, baby?" Mulder nodded, temporarily unable to speak. Krycek positioned himself on top of Mulder, lifting his legs and pressing into him, dry. Mulder's harsh cries filled the air, and he clawed at Krycek back, urging him on. "Oh yeah, you are a slut," Krycek gasped, inching his way into Mulder's ass. "Ah. Oh, God...does it hurt?" "Yes," Mulder panted. "Yes, Alex. Harder...please...harder." Krycek lifted his head to see Mulder's face when he withdrew and plunged back in. The look of pain and desire in the older man's glazed eyes encouraged him to continue, and he did, thrusting harder and faster until he came explosively, roaring his satisfaction into the air. He collapsed onto Mulder's chest and lay there for a good long while, getting his respiration back under control. When he lifted his head, he looked down into amber-flecked eyes, swimming with emotion. Both men stared, not saying anything, then Krycek moved in for a long tender kiss. One hand slipped down to Mulder's still very swollen cock, and he began to gently stroke it. It only took a few strokes before Mulder came, crying into Krycek's mouth and shooting hot semen all over the younger man's pumping hand. When he finished, his tense body went slack, and he lay motionless, moaning softly as Krycek rose from the bed. When Mulder opened his eyes, Krycek had returned and was preparing to wash him with a damp cloth he had retrieved from the bathroom. He watched quietly as the other man washed him then set the cloth aside. When Krycek lay back on the bed, he hesitated for a moment then moved against him. Krycek smiled slightly at the feel of Mulder's head against his shoulder, and he wrapped his arms around him and pulled him in closer. Nothing at all was said as the two drifted into sleep. a few days later "...and the Director practically tore A.D. Rodman's head off right there in the hall. He's been in a really pissy mood lately." Scully looked up at her partner and groaned inwardly. "Mulder." //Maybe his mood's got nothing to do with what you think.// "Mulder?" "Huh? Yeah?" "You okay?" "Yeah. Yeah, I..." Mulder's voice trailed off, and his gaze just drifted back to the paperwork in front of him. //He said he's all right. Leave it alone. Just...oh, God.// "C'mon, Mulder." "Tonight's the last night." "The last...oh. So you're not going to..." "I didn't say that." "I don't understand, then. Why are you so preoccupied if you're going to keep this...this...going?" Mulder gave Scully a trace of a smile. "I don't know. Nervous, I guess. Wondering where we'll go from here." "I see...I guess." "A few days ago, he told me that if I was going to leave, to just do it. No conversation, no apologies or explanations." "Why would he want that?" "I don't...I'm not...not sure, but I think it's because nothing I say would matter." "I still don't follow." I think he...feels something for me." Scully rolled her eyes. "Feelings of what, Mulder? Besides ownership?" Mulder ignored the dig. "I'm not imagining it, Scully. These few days together haven't been what you might think...not entirely. Alex has been...sweet to me. And patient and...we talk." "You talk." "Yes. Real conversations. I never for an instant underestimated his intelligence, but he's...he's really smart. Scully I love...talking to him." "Great. Then I assume he can write as well. Become pen pals. But Mulder..." "This is why I didn't want to talk to about this," Mulder sighed. "I don't want to do this with you." Scully lowered her head into her hand and massaged her temple. "Neither do I. Okay. Forget I said anything. So...what if you do find out that he...feels something for you? Or...or...what if you find out that he doesn't feel anything for you? What'll you do?" "I...I don't...I don't know. I guess I just have to take things one step at a time. See what he's got in mind." "Mulder, you don't know how I hate hearing things like that. He's turned you into a mindless slave with no will, no..." "That's not true," Mulder countered softly. "Isn't it? Scully snapped then closed her eyes. "I'm sorry, I...I'm doing it again, and I promised that I wouldn't." "I understand your concern," Mulder said. "I really do. But there's no need for it." "I wish I could be as sure as you, Mulder." Scully looked down at her watch. "It's getting late. I guess we can get out of here now." Mulder checked his own watch and shoved his chair back. He grabbed for the things he wanted to take home, snatched his jacket up and turned to face his friend. "I'll uh...I'll see you tomorrow." "All right, Mulder. Goodnight." Mulder exited the office quietly, leaving Scully still gathering her things. When he was gone, she put her purse and jacket down and sank slowly into her chair. Covering her eyes with one hand, she sat for several minutes, gathering her thoughts before slowly rising and picking up her things. She shut the lights off, locked the door and headed for home. Mulder entered the softly lit apartment, looking around. Krycek wasn't immediately visible, but he was sure the other man was there. Instead of looking for him, Mulder walked into the bedroom, loosening his tie. As he entered, he heard water running in the master bathroom. Curiosity drew him toward the sound, and he found Krycek kneeling by the tub, pouring oil into the swirling water. Green eyes rose to meet his gaze, and Krycek nodded toward the other room. "Go undress," the low, honey and gravel voice instructed. "Then come back." Mulder obeyed silently, retreating to the bedroom. His mind clicking away, he began to undress. Was Alex going to bathe him? So far he'd only ever used the shower. He'd eyed the tub, sitting by itself off to the side of the large bathroom many times, but... Mulder hung up his suit, placed his shoes neatly under it on the closet floor, put the shirt in the pile to go to the dry cleaners and tossed the underwear into the hamper. Now naked, he walked into the bathroom. He stopped in his tracks, staring when he found Krycek soaking in the tub, eyes closed. He hesitated a moment then turned back toward the bedroom, but Krycek's voice stopped him before he reached the door. "Where are you going?" "Bedroom. Uh...I forgot the uh...the collar." "You don't want to put that on now," Krycek said. "It'll get wet." He held out a hand to the other man. "Come on. Join me." Mulder stared for a moment, processing the unexpected invitation, then he moved forward and carefully stepped into the enormous tub. Krycek guided him down, positioning him so that they sat back to front, then he wrapped his arms around the older man. "Is the water okay?" Mulder's lashes fluttered as the other man's words vibrated deliciously in his ear. "It's fine...smells good." Krycek nuzzled Mulder's jaw as he tightened his arms around the other man. "Mmm hmm," he breathed against the stubbled skin. "How was your day?" "...Okay. Uh...couple of new cases...narrowly missed a fight with Scully." "Uh oh. What happened?" "Just...the same old stuff." "But she's kept quiet for the most part, hasn't she?" "Yeah, mostly. She had a little bit to say today." Krycek didn't ask what brought it on. "But you settled things okay?" "I suppose. I understand that she really is just worried about me." Mulder stopped talking as Krycek's hand began to stroke over his chest. His soft, breathy moan made the younger man smile. "That feel good?" Krycek asked as his hand moved lower, caressing his lover's abdomen. Mulder leaned back, resting his head on Krycek's shoulder, and he closed his eyes. "Yes..." He turned his face into the curve of Krycek's throat and licked the wet skin. "...Alex." Krycek's cock had been half hard, pressing against Mulder's ass when he sat down, but now it was rock solid, and he longed to feel it pushing into him. He let out an involuntary groan as he thought back to this morning, when Alex's cock, thrusting hard inside him, had jolted him awake. It had ended quickly, and after Alex had recovered, he'd stroked Mulder's swollen cock once and kissed the back of his neck and announced that it was getting late and that Mulder should start getting ready for work. Without questioning why Krycek would leave him unsatisfied, Mulder had risen from the bed and headed toward the bathroom. Before he could reach the door, Krycek had called to him. "Leave it alone," the other man had said softly, and that was all he'd said. Clenching his teeth, Mulder had obeyed, taking a cool shower then dressing and leaving for work without so much as a hint from Krycek as to when or even if he'd be relieved. Another lesson in discipline, he'd assumed as he'd gone off to work. Now he was here with Alex in his tub, up to his shoulders in warm, fragrant water, praying that Alex would decide that he'd done well and end the lesson. Apparently Krycek had been having the same thoughts. "Did you behave yourself today?" "Yes, Alex." "Was it hard?" "Was it hard to behave, or was my dick hard?" Krycek grinned. "Both." Mulder sighed and rubbed his head against Krycek's shoulder. "Very hard. But I didn't do anything." Krycek's hand glided over Mulder's belly then moved lower. "Very good. You make me very happy when you do as I ask, Fox. Do you like to make me happy?" "Yes, Alex," Mulder gasped as Krycek's fingers dusted the tip of his cock. "You know what would make me happy right now?" "What?" "Burying my dick deep in your ass..." A soft, clipped moan rose from Mulder's throat. Krycek's hand moved down to the other man's balls, cupping and squeezing them gently. "...Taking you right to the edge then bringing you back...driving you so crazy that when I do let you come, the force of it knocks you unconscious." Mulder's head rocked from side to side. "God...oh, God...anything, Alex. Anything you want." Taking a deep, steadying breath, Krycek shifted Mulder, lifting him back onto his lap so that his cock could press between Mulder's ass cheeks. Pushing upward, he drove inside, going as deep as he could, then he stopped. Shushing Mulder's whimpers of protest, he wound an arm around the older man's throat, holding his head almost immobile. "Contract your muscles," he ordered softly. "Squeeze me, Fox." Gritting his teeth, Mulder did as Krycek asked. The low groan vibrating against his temple encouraged him to continue. "Good. Oh, Jesus, baby, that's so good." Krycek moaned again, slightly tightening the hold he had on Mulder's throat as he began to stroke the older man's cock. A soft gurgle rolled in Mulder's throat as he fought the overwhelming urge to let go. He continued to contract his muscles, milking the solid shaft inside of him, and just when he thought he wouldn't make it, Krycek let his cock go and loosened the grip on his throat. "Mmmh...Alex..." "Not yet," Krycek whispered in answer to the broken plea. Cupping Mulder's jaw, he turned him in to a sizzling kiss as he pushed once against him, hard. Mulder cried out into his mouth, and Krycek broke the kiss and fastened his lips over the pounding pulse in his lover's neck. He sucked hard at the fragile skin, causing Mulder to arch and twist in his arms, but he didn't let go. Instead, he bared his teeth, biting down and barely avoiding breaking the skin. Mulder was wrecked. Pain and pleasure clashed head on, and soon he couldn't tell which was which. All he knew was, he wanted more. He needed more, and he'd do anything...anything Alex wanted him to... "This is what you are," Krycek grated, releasing Mulder's shoulder and leaving brilliant red indentations. "A slut. An animal in heat." Another deep thrust. "You'll do anything I want...take anything I do to you. You want it. You have to have it." Mulder's head was spinning. His body was on fire, and he knew without reservation that only Alex would ever be able to quench it. "You're an addict, and you won't be able to get through a day without a fix." He was right. Jesus, he was right. "I've got what you need, Fox. You know you'll never be able to get it anywhere else, don't you?" Mulder nodded. He did know. And not just because he was in desperate need of release, and he was afraid Alex wouldn't give it to him if he disagreed. He knew in deepest recesses of his soul that it was the truth. Alex Krycek was speaking the truth. The hand cupping Mulder's balls went back to his cock, and the arm draped loosely around his throat closed in again, pulling Mulder tightly against Krycek. "Squeeze, Fox. Hard." Mulder's muscles constricted again, bearing down as hard as they could as he gasped for breath, and Krycek's hand pulled quickly at his cock. "Come on, beautiful slut. Come for me." Mulder's head was drawn further back, and what little air there was, was cut off. He didn't fight as the most intense pounding began in his lower body and his head, and a devastating orgasm hit him. A scream rolled in his throat, his body jerking and twitching uncontrollably. Then blackness. He barely registered that he could breathe again, hardly realized that Alex had just come violently and was slumped back against the tub, moaning softly against his cheek. Almost fifteen minutes went by before Krycek stirred, kissing Mulder's ear and whispering into it. "You okay?" Several seconds went by before Mulder answered. Finally, he took a deep breath and spoke. "I...I never..." He stopped to heave a long sigh and turned his head so that he could look into Krycek's eyes. "I don't know what to say. I've never felt anything so...powerful." "You trusted me," Krycek murmured, his eyes glowing. "You put yourself in my hands and trusted that I wouldn't hurt you." "Was that a test?" Mulder asked, mesmerized. "Not entirely." Krycek gave the other man a tiny smile. "I also wanted to rock your world." "And make me never want to leave you?" Krycek stared for a while then inhaled. He held the breath then blew it out slowly. "You'll leave me, Fox, if you really want to. Nothing can stop that." Mulder looked down for a moment then his gaze went back to Krycek's. "You called me an addict. That's the truth. I'm addicted to you, Alex, and that's fine with me. I can't...I won't ever want to be anywhere other than right here with you. I know the week isn't over until tomorrow morning, but I'm telling you now. I will be back after work...if you really want me." Alex stared intently then, saying nothing, he rose from the tub, pulling Mulder up after him and moved to the shower, turning the water on. When the spray grew warm, he led Mulder inside and tenderly washed the older man then himself. He shut the water off when they were finished, then he dried them both and led Mulder to bed. They'd just about got settled in when Mulder sat up. Krycek watched inquisitively as the older man got out of bed, but the curiosity faded when Mulder stopped in front of the dresser and picked the collar up. Fastening it around his neck, he returned to Krycek's side, and the younger man pulled him into his arms and buried his face in the wealth of golden-brown hair at the top of Mulder's head and closed his eyes. He never answered the question. One hazel eye opened as the alarm went off. Groaning softly, Mulder hit the snooze button and sat up. Combing his fingers through his hair, he looked down at Krycek, who was still asleep, and he frowned. It was very unlike either of them to sleep until the alarm, let alone through it. He sat, watching the steady rise and fall of the younger man's chest, and he sighed. Maybe Alex got as little sleep last night as he had. He remembered seeing midnight, one, two, and three o'clock. He supposed he dropped off some time after that, but as the time was now five-thirty, he calculated that he'd only had two and a half hours sleep at the very most. //God.// Directing another glance Krycek's way, he found himself longing for his lover to awaken. Every morning since he'd come back, Alex had fucked him before they got out of bed, and he wanted that this morning more than any other. At the very least, he needed to look into Alex's eyes...hear his voice; have some sort of contact with him before he had to leave for work. He stared a while longer. Krycek remained deeply asleep. Heaving a quiet sigh, he disconnected the chains. He slipped out of bed, removed his collar and wrist cuffs and placed them on the dresser, then padded silently into the bathroom. He turned the light on and walked over to the mirror to see how bloodshot his eyes were, and he let out a tiny gasp as he viewed the bruises on his neck. Too high for his shirt collar to cover completely, they were definitely going to be the topic for what he assumed would be a very heated conversation between Scully and himself. But he couldn't bring himself to regret them. They were Alex's marks, and their presence filled him with an odd sort of pride. Smiling, he turned to relieve his bladder then showered quickly, brushed his teeth, shaved and returned to the bedroom, where he found Krycek still out. Quietly, he dressed and, fixing his tie, he walked over to the bed. Leaning, down, he brushed a whisper of a kiss over Krycek's hair and left. "Mulder!" Mulder stopped and turned around, the grinding of the soles of his shoes on the parking garage's concrete floor echoing in the enormous space. "Not very often we get here at the same time," Scully said, approaching her partner. "Good morning." "Morning." "You wanna visit that woman in Coral Hills today?" "I thought we decided that she was full of shit?" "Yeah, but I was thinking about it. You know and I know that there are going to be at least three more messages from her when we get downstairs. She's going to drive us nuts until we go. We've got nothing pressing today, she's not too far from us...it's a nice day for a ride..." Mulder shrugged. "Okay. Let's check out a car then and get going." Scully blinked. "Can we check into the office first? Maybe get some coffee?" "Yeah, all right. But I want to get on the road soon." "I'm sure we'll be back by five, Mulder, if that's what you're worried about." No answer. "How was your night?" A slight smile formed on Mulder's lips at the question. "Good." "You look tired." "Yeah, I didn't sleep much." The pair reached the elevator, and as they boarded, Scully noticed the bruise peeking above Mulder's shirt collar. "Mulder, what happened to you?" //And we're off.// "Happened?" "That mark," Scully said. "On your..." Then she figured it out. "Ah Jesus, Mulder." "Don't start with me, Scully." Scully raised herself up on her toes to look closer, and her eyes grew wide. "Did...Mulder, did he bite you? My God, what kind of animal is he?" "The very best kind," Mulder whispered. Then his voice got stronger. "He didn't hold a gun to my head, Scully. How many times do I have to tell you that before you'll believe it?" "I don't think I'll ever be able to believe it." "Why not?" "Because if I do, that'll mean that you've done this on your own. And I can't, Mulder." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "I can't. Don't force me to see the truth about this." The elevator reached the basement, and they headed toward their office. "I'm not forcing you to do anything. But...haven't we both been lied to enough? Don't we deserve no less than the absolute truth?" "Not when it keeps some of us awake at night." "You're going to keep having sleepless nights, Scully, until you understand and accept Alex and me. You know that." Scully sighed heavily. "I suppose you're right about that. I'm worried about what I do know, and I'm worried about what I don't know. God, it's times like these I wish I was never assigned to the x-files." "You don't mean that," Mulder said softly, stopping in front of the door and unlocking it. "I wish I meant it," Scully croaked, checking the caller ID for recognizable names and numbers. "Like I thought. She's called." Mulder booted up his computer and sat down at the desk. "How many times?" "God, five." "Brother." Mulder scanned his new email quickly then shut down. "I'm ready when you are. Let's get our car and our coffee and get the hell out there before she calls again." A soft sigh rose from the tangle of sheets, and Krycek's lashes fluttered slowly. When daylight filtered in, he sat up. The silk sheet dropped down to his waist, and he looked around, frowning. His gaze went to the clock, and he cursed aloud. "Shit." He couldn't ever remember sleeping until nine-thirty, ever. His eyes went to the bed, and his hand brushed over the cold, empty spot. Fox must have been gone for hours. Krycek wondered why he hadn't awakened him before he left. Throwing the sheet back, he jumped out of bed and went to the closet. Biting down on his lip, he threw the door open. A hard sigh of relief left his throat when he found Mulder's clothes still there. //Of course they are. Weren't you listening to him last night? He's here for a long as you want him. He probably just knew that you didn't sleep for shit last night and he didn't want to wake you.// Krycek ran his hand down the sleeve of Mulder's navy blue suit then shut the door. He crossed over to the dresser and picked up the collar and, stroking the black leather, he carried it back to the bed. Dropping down to the mattress, he lay there lightly stroking the end of the collar over his cheek and lips then down his chin. He'd been very tired, obviously, or he wouldn't have slept through Fox preparing and leaving for work, but he regretted having done it. He'd grown very accustomed to fucking Fox first thing in the morning, and his body was very unhappy about having missed the opportunity today. He looked over at the phone. //No, don't.// Krycek closed his eyes and clutched the collar to his chest, thinking back to last night, and he smiled. For the first time he could say that Fox displayed unwavering trust in him, and it filled his heart more fully than he ever could have imagined. Smile still stuck to his face, he released a long sigh. Things were going well this time. "You think we convinced her?" "I don't know," Mulder sighed, watching through the pouring rain for his exit. "It probably would have been easier without her friends all assuring her that they saw her turn into a werewolf too." "You'd think her own doctor telling her that those tranquilizers sometimes had a hallucinogenic affect on some people would make her throw them away." "Pfff. I think her friends are on 'em too...what happened to the sun? It wasn't supposed to do this today, was it?" "I didn't check the forecast this morning," Scully answered. "It sure is coming down, isn't it?" Mulder didn't answer. His mind was on the late hour of the day and the heavy traffic, crawling through the sheets of unrelenting rain. He glanced down at his watch and swore silently at what he saw. Some quick calculations told him that barring any other hold ups, he'd probably make it to Alex's not much before six-thirty. He hadn't got there any later than five-thirty usually, and he started wondering if he should call. Then he thought about Scully. //Are you really up for another 'conversation' with her? Because you know she'll say something about you being under his control, you'll get mad, and it'll start all over again.// Mulder emitted a hard sigh and crawled on. Krycek wandered from the bedroom to the living room, Mulder's collar hanging loosely from his fingers. He looked at his watch for the umpteenth time then closed his eyes and tapped the collar against his thigh. Fox hadn't been later than five-thirtythis week, and wouldn't he call if he was going to be late? //You never told him to. Maybe he thinks he shouldn't.// //Or maybe he's changed his mind.// He moved over to the sofa and dropped down on the cushion, setting the collar on his knee. Tracing the circumference of it with two fingers, he tipped his head back and closed his eyes. "Why're you so tense?" Mulder handed the car keys back to the woman at the requisitions desk and spun on his heel, stalking down the hall toward the elevator. "Going out on a bogus case...driving in torrential rain...for two hours more than it should have taken...creeping around a four car pileup...aren't you tense?" "Not like you are." Scully eyed her partner as she raced to keep up with his long strides. Is it because you're late? Are you afraid of what he's going to say...or do?" "I am not afraid of Alex, Scully. Our relationship is not abusive in any shape way or form, okay?" "That mark on your neck tells a different story, Mulder." "For Christ's sake...he did it to me while we were having sex. It was meant to excite me, and it did. It drove me fucking nuts." "My God, Mulder, keep your voice down," Scully whispered viciously. "Then stop provoking me," Mulder shot back. "I'd have to shut up all together since it seems that everything I say provokes you." "That's not true. Just stay away from anything that has to do with me and Alex. Please." "I'll do my best." "Hasn't worked so far." Scully said nothing. "Scully, look," Mulder said, touching his partner's shoulder as they boarded the elevator and rode it to the parking garage. "I do understand that you care about me and don't want to see me hurt. And I know it must be hard as hell to keep your mouth shut about something you're so strongly against. But I'll say this again. I'm happy. And if you do care about me, Scully, you'll let me be happy." They reached Mulder's car first, and he unlocked the door and threw his things inside. "I'll see you on Monday. Please try not to worry about me. I'm fine. I'll be fine." Scully shook her head and shrugged. "Yeah. Uh...sure, Mulder. You...you better get out of here, now. Krycek must be waiting." "Yeah. See you Monday." "Okay. Have um...have a good weekend." Mulder watched Scully head for her car, then he got into his own vehicle. As soon as he started the engine, he glanced down at the clock. Quarter after seven. "Damn." Phone service sucked in the garage. He'd call Alex as soon as he got outside. Five minutes later, he began rummaging in his jacket pockets for his phone. "Where the..." With one hand on the wheel, he searched every pocket only to come up empty. "Shit. Where is it?" //It was in my jacket when we left Coral Hills. Okay. So, let's go from there. What'd I do? Took my jacket off, threw it in the back seat, drove back to the Hoover, got my stuff, went into the office real quick, threw the stuff down again, picked it up, went to requisitions, then to my car.// He ran his fingers through his hair. "Okay, so it probably fell out of my pocket either in the requisition or in the office." Either way, it was stupid to go back looking for it now. Alex's apartment was only twenty minutes away, and it would be senseless to use up that much time looking for his damned phone. He thought Alex might be a little concerned by now, but he'd understand once Mulder got there and explained what had happened to him. The rain had let up considerably, thank God. Mulder hit the highway and punched his speed up to seventy. The apartment was immersed in darkness. Krycek sat motionless on the sofa, staring up at the ceiling he couldn't see. He'd believed with all of his heart and soul that Fox would come back to him tonight. Fox had been so adamant that he would. And now. And...and now... He practically leapt out of his skin when the door opened and the shadowed figure entered. He sat staring as Mulder turned on the nearest lamp and searched the room. Their eyes met in seconds, and Mulder moved cautiously forward. "I...I'm sorry I'm late. We had a case out of town and with the traffic and the rain, and then there was an...an accident and..." Krycek rose from the sofa. "You were in an accident? Are you all right?" "No. No. Not us. There was a pileup. Because of the weather, I guess. It really slowed things down. I'm sorry, Alex, I should have called you, but Scully...we had got into it once already today; I just didn't want to give her any more to aggravate me about. I was going to call you as soon as I left work but my phone must have fallen out of my jacket either in the other car or in the office." Mulder stopped, noting that Krycek hadn't moved any closer. "Are...are you angry with me?" Krycek stood motionless, staring; waiting until he could get his emotions and his quaking body under control, then he moved forward. Stopping directly in front of Mulder, he lifted a hand and slowly petted the other man's head. "No," he whispered. He continued to stare until Mulder lowered his gaze. "I thought..." Mulder lifted his eyes. "What?" Krycek pulled one corner of his lower lip into his mouth and shook his head. "Nothing. Are you hungry?" "I..." Mulder lowered his eyes again. "I hadn't even thought about it." "Well, are you?" "I...I suppose so. A little." "Why don't you go get out of these clothes? Then we'll find something to eat." "'Kay." Mulder hesitated for a moment then turned toward the bedroom. Once inside, he began removing his suit. Finding nothing laid out for him to wear, he walked naked to the dresser to look for his collar. He frowned down at the wrist cuffs, which were the only things on the dresser, then he began to look on the floor. "Where the hell is it?" Searching once more, he shuffled out of the bedroom and peeked into the kitchen, where Krycek was preparing a light dinner for them. "Alex?" Krycek turned around and, seeing Fox's disconcerted expression, he walked over to the older man and cupped his cheek. "What is it, Fox? What's wrong?" "My collar. It's...I put it on the dresser this morning but I can't find it now. I know I put it there." "You did," Krycek soothed. Taking Mulder by the hand, he walked into the living room and picked the collar up off of the sofa. Mulder stepped forward, stopping when their bodies were almost touching, and he waited. Krycek gently fastened the collar around his neck then wound an arm around him, pulling him in for an achingly tender kiss. When Krycek broke the kiss, Mulder dropped his head to the younger man's shoulder and wrapped himself around him. "I'm sorry I didn't call you earlier. I shouldn't have let a potential fight with Scully stop me." "I understand," Krycek breathed, stroking Mulder's bare back. "I don't want you to have constant problems with her." Mulder nodded and moaned softly as Krycek pulled him closer. "...Alex?" "Hmm?" "W-what were you going to say earlier? You said you thought something but you didn't finish." "It was nothing," Krycek assured Mulder. "Come on. Let's eat, then we can spend a quiet night together." The couple ate in virtual silence, and when they finished, Mulder rose to clear the table. Krycek stopped him. "No, Fox. Leave it." "But..." "I'll take care of it. Come with me." Krycek took Mulder's hand and led him into the bedroom. Pulling the covers back on the bed, he guided Mulder down to the mattress. "Lie down." Mulder obeyed, and he stroked the older man's hair back from his face. "Close your eyes." Mulder studied him curiously before doing as he asked. "You don't look like you slept well last night. Rest. I'll be back in a little while." With a final caress, Krycek got up and left the room. Mulder lay there for a while then sat up and pushed off the bed. Retrieving the cuffs from the dresser, he attached them to his wrists then chained himself to the bed. Exhausted but unable to sleep, he lay there staring at the door until it opened and Krycek walked in. Krycek stopped, leaning against the wall as he took in the sight on the bed. His cock stiffened in appreciation, and he moved closer. "I thought you'd be out." "Couldn't sleep." "Why not?" "I just...I don't know. I feel something." "Something?" Mulder nodded. "Something different." Krycek stared and said nothing. "Will you answer a question?" //How can you keep forgetting who you're dealing with? You know he can't leave things alone when his curiosity is raised.// "I'll try." Mulder studied the younger man. Licking dry lips, he took the plunge. "Did you...were you afraid that I'd changed my mind about staying?" "...I thought maybe you had, yes." Not exactly what he's asked, but Mulder hadn't been sure that Krycek would answer his question at all, so he accepted it. He lay in silence, unsure of what to say next. Krycek solved that problem for him. "In spite of what you'd said to me this morning, I'd wondered if once you were away from here, you would think about what coming back to me today meant. And tonight, I was...I did think that you'd changed your mind." "I won't do that," Mulder promised. "I can't." His lashes drooped over his eyes, allowing only glittering slits of green and gold to be seen. "I'm yours, Alex. Until you don't want me any more." The statement stole Krycek's breath. "Then you'll always be mine," he gasped, grasping a handful of Mulder's hair as he came down for a searing kiss that grew more intense with each passing moment. When Krycek backed off, Mulder started to whimper in protest, but as Krycek began to rip his clothes off, he stopped. Lust swirled in his eyes as he watched each article of clothing leave his lover's body. When Krycek was completely naked, he slid up over Mulder's writhing body, pinning him to the bed. "Fuck me," Mulder whispered breathlessly, licking at Krycek's lips as he clung to the other man. "Please...Alex, please..." Teeth gritted, Krycek reached over to pull the lube out of the nightstand drawer. Quickly, he slapped some on and, hoisting Mulder's legs up and over his shoulders, he bucked into the other man. Mulder arched, keeping only his shoulders and head on the bed, and he sobbed wildly, begging Alex to do him hard and fast. His body leaving him no choice but to oblige, Krycek slammed into the older man again and again, crying out with each thrust. One hand wrapped tightly around Mulder's cock and began to jerk it, pulling hoarse cries from him. In an instant, blinding orgasm hit, first one then the other in rapid succession. When the screaming faded, Krycek fell onto Mulder's chest, and the older man let go of the chains and wrapped his arms around his exhausted lover. Krycek lay in Mulder's arms, recovering slowly as a gentle hand moved up and down his back. Emitting a low purr, he nuzzled Mulder's shoulder then lifted his head and trained a hazy emerald stare on him. Not a word passed between the two for several moments, then Krycek leaned down, engaging Mulder in a sweet kiss. "I'm going to ask you something, and I want the absolute truth, okay?" Mulder nodded. "Now that the week is over and you've decided to stay in this relationship...would you consider moving in with me?" Mulder stared, unable to speak or blink. "If that's too much to ask, tell me. I'll back off. I just want you to know that I want you here. I want to wake up and see you lying beside me. I...Fox? Krycek waved a hand in front of the other man's face. "I guess I've shocked you." "Uh...yeah, uh..." "I just wanted you to know how I felt and ask you to think about it. Just think about it. Take your time and..." Mulder finally blinked and interrupted. "I don't...you really want me to move in with you?" Krycek shrugged. "Yeah." Mulder's mouth opened and closed, and it took several seconds for any sound to come out. Then finally, "Anything you want, Alex." "No, Fox, I...not this time. Thank you, but...you've got to want it too." "I do," Mulder whispered. "Because it'll make me happy, or because it'll make you happy?" "Because it'll make you and me happy." Krycek smiled and kissed the corner of Mulder's mouth. "I really want you to give it a little more thought, though. You might go back to your place and decide that you really can't live with anyone. You might not want to give up your solitude all together." "What about you?" Mulder asked. "You've been alone for a long time, too." "Yeah, I have." Krycek stroked his knuckles down the other man's cheek. "A very long time." Mulder took a long breath and let it out. "I promise I'll give it more thought, but I don't see my answer changing at all." He thought for a moment then sucked his lower lip into his mouth. The action drew a low moan from the man above him. "Can I ask you another question?" "Yeah." "What will things be like?" Krycek cocked his head. "With us," Mulder explained. "Will we stay the way we...the way we are now?" "You mean, will we keep the dom/sub thing going?" "Yeah." He corrected himself. "Yes, Alex." Krycek gave him a gentle smile. "I'm not such a bad master, am I?" Mulder looked down and chewed on the corner of his lip. After a while, his eyes rose slowly to Krycek's. "I have nothing to compare you to, but, no. You've been good to me. And...I haven't really had the whole experience yet, have I?" "No." "So, I guess it's sort of hard for me to say. I can tell you that right now, I want to. But...maybe a few weeks...a few months from now, this need...whatever it is, will leave me, and I won't want to any more. If that happens, and I want to have a more equal relationship, will you be all right with that?" Krycek stared, not knowing what to say. Anxiety washed over Mulder's features. "You...you do have a problem with it?" "I...I don't...I don't know what to say." Mulder frowned up at him. "Why not? What is it about an equal relationship that you object to?" He couldn't say it. He'd never had to deal with this before, and he simply hadn't considered it a possibility. Now, Fox was asking him, and he didn't know what to do. He...he'd fantasized plenty in the past about Fox dominating him, but there was a huge difference between fantasy and reality. //Fucking hypocrite. You want him to trust you...why shouldn't he have the same from you?// //No one did the things to him that...// "Alex?" "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." "Won't it be kind of late then?" "No. Speaking of it getting late, it is. Let's get some sleep." "But it's...it's only ten-thirty. And it's Friday." "That's enough for tonight, Fox," Krycek said, his tone taking on an air of authority. "Go to sleep." Mulder stared for a moment then lowered his eyes. Krycek moved off of him, and he turned onto his side, facing away from the younger man. What had just happened? Why didn't Alex want to discuss having a fifty/fifty relationship? Mulder wasn't saying for sure that it was something he'd want. Hell, the way he felt now, he'd never want to change things. But he just needed to know that Alex would be willing should he decide that's what he wanted. //You'd better think this thing out, Mulder. Think long and hard. If he's going to get this way over something as simple as...// His thoughts were interrupted by Krycek's arm winding around his waist and pulling him into the warm cradle of his body. The arm tightened, squeezing him briefly, and a soft kiss brushed his shoulder before Krycek went still. He lay motionless, trying to relax his muscles and wondering if Alex could feel the tension in him. Alex could. //Oh, God. Oh, fuck. Say something to him.// Krycek opened his mouth, but no sound would come out. //Like what? What the hell do I say?// //...Fuck.// Telling himself that everything would be better in the morning, he closed his eyes and prayed for sleep to be merciful on them both. Over three hours later, he felt Mulder's body relax and his respiration even out. Finally, he was asleep. Krycek wished he could say the same. He saw the bedroom go from black to gray to blindingly bright, and right around seven forty-five, Mulder shifted onto his back and blinked up at the ceiling. His head turned to the right and met incredibly bloodshot eyes. "Morning." Krycek's voice, gruff from hours of disuse and lack of sleep barely registered in his ears. Mulder looked away. "Morning." "Fox, I..." Krycek's words crackled in his throat. "I didn't mean to be short with you last night. I was just...I was very tired." Mulder's wary gaze turned back to him. "You must be, still. You don't look like you got any sleep last night." Krycek shrugged. "Not much." //How 'bout, not any?// "Why don't you stay in bed? Try to get a few hours?" "I think I have to. I don't believe I'll be any good at all today if I can't get at least a little sleep." Krycek lifted a hand to Mulder's cheek. "Stay with me?" Was he asking? Or was it just a polite command? Mulder paused for a moment then turned onto his side, facing Krycek. Mere inches from the younger man, he closed his eyes and said nothing. Krycek watched him for a time then lifted a hand to his head, tenderly petting and smoothing the wild, golden-brown strands. Soon enough, his hand began to travel south, stroking over Mulder's cheek, his mouth, his chest. Krycek stopped at a hardening nipple and stroked it over and over with his thumb. When Mulder sighed, he moved in to cover the older man's mouth in a soft kiss. The hand between them moved lower, brushing the head of Mulder's very awake, very interested cock. When the other man moaned and opened his eyes, Krycek shifted, half sitting up as he turned Mulder onto his stomach. Tethered hands clenching in his pillow, Mulder rocked slowly against the mattress as Krycek stroked and squeezed his ass in a slightly less than gentle manner. "Mmmm....nnnnnh." When Krycek's fingers pressed between his clenching cheeks, he lifted his head and a broken sob tumbled past his parted lips. "Alex..." "Shhh." Finding the lube he'd used and dropped on the floor last night, Krycek greased up his cock and swung himself into a sitting position, straddling Fox's ass. He grasped his cock by the base and began to work it in toward the tight opening. When he breached the entrance, Mulder began to whine and push back against him. It was all the encouragement he needed. His hips started to move in a hard, steady rhythm, pushing Mulder into the mattress. Mulder whimpered and sobbed wildly. It was coming. Oh, God, it was right there. And then Alex stopped. Mulder lifted his head and fixed a glassy-eyed stare on him. "Alex?" "Remember the other night in your apartment?" Krycek asked softly. "When you bit me?" Mulder's cock began to throb painfully. "Do you remember, Fox?" "Y-yes, Alex." "I told you that you'd pay for that. Do you recall?" "Yes, Alex." The words came out in a hard gasp. "Well, it's time for your punishment." The hard smack delivered to his right ass cheek shocked a loud yelp from Mulder. Before the sting could subside, Krycek landed another smack. And one more. Fox cried out again, and Krycek pulled out of him, leaving him empty and in pain. "Don't move." Mulder lay face down, trembling, his outrageously hard cock caught between his body and the mattress. His right cheek burned, and he couldn't help but recall Krycek's words to him earlier on in their relationship. //Pain is just pain, Fox....but pain between lovers is...exquisite.// Which his screaming cock agreed with most strenuously. "Turn over." Mulder forced himself out of his thoughts and moved onto his back. Krycek unceremoniously fitted a ball gag into his mouth then adjusted the chains so he had no slack. Arms held firmly above his head now, and unable to speak, Mulder watched as Krycek lifted the cock ring from where he'd dropped it on the bed. He whimpered piteously as Krycek strapped it on him. "I'll never have to punish you, Fox, if you behave yourself." He spoke as he would to a three year old. The next item he lifted was a slim vibrator. Turning it on, he brushed it over Mulder's nipples, listening to his slave's desperate cries, then he moved downward, over Mulder's twitching abs, then he let it glide over the older man's bound cock. Mulder bucked, and a harsh groan rolled in his throat. Waves of pleasure ricocheted through him with no place to exit, and he writhed and squirmed, trying in vain to get closer. "Open you legs for me, Fox," Krycek instructed softly. "Bend your knees." Mulder did it without hesitation. Krycek paused to lube the slightly curved vibrator, then he worked it slowly into Mulder's ass. A muffled sob sounded behind the gag, and Mulder tensed. His back arched and his cock throbbed as the alien presence moved inside him, and when it nudged his prostate, Mulder's world exploded into a million slivers of light. He screamed, he thrashed and shuddered, but he couldn't come. Krycek kept Mulder on the edge, fucking him with the vibrator, teasing him until tears began to stream down the older man's cheeks. Then he shut the vibrator off and withdrew it. Brushing the hair away from Mulder's forehead, he licked at some tears as they continued to fall. "Easy, Fox," Krycek whispered. "We have a ways to go, yet." Mulder's eyes snapped open, and he turned a panicked gaze on Krycek. He needed to come. He'd never felt the urge so strongly, and not being able to created an almost physical ache. He shook his head, begging Krycek with his eyes for mercy, but none was to be had. "I'm going to leave you alone for a while." Krycek continued to stroke Mulder's head. "I'll decide later about ending your punishment." He dropped a kiss on the tip of Mulder's nose and got up to leave then turned back. "One more thing." Mulder watched, panic-stricken as Krycek picked a black scarf and a pair of earplugs. When he was finished, Mulder could no longer see, and his hearing was decreased dramatically. Krycek said something to him, but he couldn't make out the very muffled words. His head jerked from side to side, looking for some gap in the blindfold, some angle at which he'd be able to hear, but Krycek had been efficient in his task. He went still, and his chest rose and fell heavily as breath after hard breath wheezed through his nose, and he strained to hear what was being said to him. "You're so beautiful," Krycek practically whispered as he stroked the older man. "You have no idea what you do to me." He leaned down and kissed Mulder again. "I'll be back later." Mulder whimpered softly, feeling more than hearing Krycek's retreat. He lay in darkness, his entire body humming. Jesus, he never knew sensations like these. Every time he thought Alex couldn't make him feel any more, he was proven wrong. Every time he wondered if he could feel any more bonded to this man, he found that he absolutely could and did. Even if Alex never wanted an equal relationship with him, he knew he could never leave him. He'd never wanted someone so much. He'd never... Mulder swallowed the sudden lump that had formed in his throat, and he struggled in vain to regulate his breathing. //God. Oh, God. It's true. It's...how can this be? How...what do I do? He can't know, it would just makes things harder. He wasn't thrilled about you asking about a conventional relationship; how do you think he'd take it if he knew. If...// His mind now in as much chaos as his body, he began to sob softly. Long minutes later, the sobs abated, and he lay quietly trying hard to relax, but that was hard to do with his hormones and emotions raging. All he could do was breathe deeply, relax as best he could, try to keep his mind from working, and wait. Krycek reentered the room over an hour later, and Mulder's head snapped around, the older man feeling his approach. The earplugs were removed, and Krycek spoke softly to him. "I thought you might have been sleeping." How could he think that? The blindfold came off, and bloodshot eyes blinked in the sudden flood of light. The gag followed, and Krycek reached up to pet Mulder's head. "I'm going to free your arms." Krycek loosened Mulder's chains, and the liberated man snuggled up to him, clutching at his shirt. He devoted all his energy to choking down the involuntary whimpers that kept trying to push past his throat, but he couldn't stop the telltale trembling of his body. Krycek tipped Mulder's face up, and he studied the other man. "Your eyes are all red. Why were you crying?" "I'm all right." "That isn't what I asked you," Krycek reminded him gently. "Why were you crying, Fox?" "It was s-so hard. Frustrating and..." Fox bit his lip, suddenly thinking that he shouldn't sound like he was complaining. "But I...I deserved it," he added quickly, giving Krycek a wide-eyed stare. "I know that." "I'll never give you what you don't deserve," Krycek answered. "But I want to know truthfully how you felt. Tell me, Fox, and I may take the cock ring off." Mulder ducked his head and sniffed. "I felt...helpless...abandoned...turned on...desperate. My body hurts, but it feels so good. I deserve punishment, but I need it, too." Mulder shuddered as he clutched more tightly at Krycek's shirt. "I need it so much." Krycek panted heavily as Mulder let go of his shirt and draped himself over the younger man's legs. His hand wandered gently over Mulder's ass, lingering on the pink mark he'd left earlier, and his jaw clenched as his cock throbbed inside his jeans. Mulder's head snapped up, and he yelped loudly as Krycek's palm made contact with his left ass cheek. "You won't bite me any more, will you, Fox?" Alex asked. "Unless I want you to." Another hard smack. "No, Alex," Mulder sobbed. "Promise...I promise." Krycek continued to slap Mulder's ass, his stinging palm turning almost as red as the older man's rear. Only when tears began to stream down Mulder's face, did he stop. He gently pushed Mulder off of his lap, turning the other man onto his back and carefully removing the strapping from his cock as Mulder winced at the hot sting in his ass. "Come here," Krycek murmured as he sat back against the headboard. Mulder crawled into his arms, clinging to him as he stroked the older man's back and cooed softly to him. "It's all right, now. Let's have a nice weekend together, okay? Do some shopping...go out to dinner maybe...catch a movie." Nestled against Krycek's chest, Mulder lay quietly, eyes closed. He waited for Alex to touch him...do something to relieve the unrelenting ache in his cock When Alex planted a kiss on the top of his head and pushed him into a sitting position, his heart stopped. No. He...he wouldn't. "Let's get dressed and go out." Mulder cast a tormented stare at the other man then, drawing a shaky breath, lowered his head and got off the bed. "What do you want me to wear?" Krycek smiled and walked over to the closet. "It can't be anything to overt, I suppose, since we'll be out with the general public, so..." He pulled out a pair of faded jeans and a sky blue shirt that just looked like it was going to fit like a glove, and he handed them to Mulder. Then he went to the dresser and pawed through the items in it, pulling out a thong that was almost the same color as the shirt. He slowly spun the skimpy material around on his finger and approached Mulder. "And this." Mulder took the thong and backed away before turning and walking toward the bathroom. Krycek followed and stopped in the doorway as Mulder prepared to shower. "Fox." Mulder lifted his eyes to Krycek's, and he waited. Krycek pointed to a spot on the floor directly in front of him, and Mulder moved to that spot. "Do you know why I haven't allowed you any relief?" Dropping his gaze, Mulder shook his head then looked up quickly and cleared his throat. "No, Alex." "There are games that we'll play that will include you being tied up and spanked and...other things. Those times are for our pleasure...yours and mine. But when you're being punished...there has to be a difference. It's punishment, Fox. I can't let you come, or it'll be more like a reward." "I understand," Mulder whispered. Krycek took a deep breath and let it out. Those beautiful, pouting lips went straight to his heart. He reached out and stroked the underside of Mulder's chin. "You can take care of yourself in the shower if you want to." Mulder shook his head, lowering it to Krycek's shoulder. "I'll wait." "Wait for what?" "Until you to touch me," Mulder answered. "I want to come for your pleasure, Alex." Krycek closed his eyes and rested his cheek on Mulder's head. "Go on," he instructed softly. "Go get cleaned up and dressed...but don't shave. I'll wait for you in the living room." He lifted his head, and Mulder turned away and went about his business. Krycek stared for a good long while then left the bathroom. Entering the living room, he dropped down onto the sofa and covered his eyes with the heels of his hands. //I don't know which of you is being tortured more.// "Aaaaaaiiiii." When Mulder emerged from the bathroom some twenty minutes later, he found Krycek in the living room, reading the paper. He walked quietly into the room, stopping in front of the younger man then sank to his knees. Krycek looked up from the paper and smiled at him. "You're beautiful in blue." Mulder nuzzled the hand that had come up to caress his stubbled cheek. "Let's go get some breakfast, then we'll go shopping." Mulder got to his feet then Krycek rose, and they walked to the door. "Wait a minute," Krycek called. "Come here." He pulled Mulder to him and undid two more buttons on the older man's shirt. "That's better," he whispered, stroking the hair on Mulder's chest. Gently, he skimmed one nipple with his fingers then opened the door, waving Mulder out. He groaned to himself as Mulder preceded him into the hall, and he watched his lover's muscular ass moving in his skin tight jeans. "Jesus." Krycek locked the door and caught up to Mulder. The stunning couple walked through the door of the adult clothing store, and many stopped to stare. The clerk recognized the dark one from his previous trips to the store, and he smiled. "Hey, again." He gave the man's companion a long, lusty look and emitted a low whistle. "This the pretty thing you been buying all those sexy clothes for?" Krycek reached over his shoulder and petted his slave's head as it came to rest against him. "He is beautiful, isn't he?" The clerk took the opportunity to leer at Mulder again. "No disrespect man, but my dick's trying to poke a hole in my pants. Shit. So anyway...what're you looking for today?" "Anything that catches our eyes," Krycek answered, looking around. "See anything you like, Fox?" Opening then closing his mouth, Mulder shook his head noncommittally. "I like that leather and mesh shirt," Krycek pointed out. "The one that laces up. And that vest with the chains." The sales clerk pulled out the indicated items in Mulder's size, and Krycek continued shopping. "How about a nice harness, Fox? See, this one's got rings that we can connect your wrist cuffs to." "There's a matching wide collar," the clerk pointed out helpfully. "Yeah? Let's see." Mulder stood quietly as the man found the collar and presented it for Krycek's inspection. "Yeah, I think that'll work. C'mere, baby." Mulder stepped forward and let Krycek fit the collar around his neck. "Nice," the clerk hissed. "How's that feel?" Krycek asked, admiring the adornment. "Fine," Mulder answered softly. "D-do you like it?" "Very much," Krycek moaned, stroking Mulder's chest. "Why don't you go try on this other stuff while I look around?" Mulder took the clothing, and the clerk directed him to the dressing room. "Come out and show me," Krycek said, and Mulder nodded then disappeared behind the shuttered door. "See anything else you like?" the clerk asked as Krycek turned and started perusing the merchandise. He chose several more thongs, a couple more pairs of pants, and a black leather duster for himself. Mulder emerged from the dressing room, wearing the collar and harness, and Krycek moaned in appreciation. "That'll look great with those shorts I got you. How does it feel?" "It feels fine." "It doesn't bother you? No itching or chafing?" "Not that I can tell right now," Mulder answered. "Okay. Try the shirt on." Mulder retreated back to the dressing room and came out a short while later, wearing the mesh and leather shirt. "Oh man," a nearby patron whined. "That looks fantastic on him. You gotta get that." Krycek agreed and handed the other items to Mulder. He came out next, wearing one of the pairs of leather pants and the vest. "Rrrrrrrrrrrrowr," the same patron growled. "Damn, man, you're gonna go broke in here. Everything looks good on him." "He's worth every penny," Krycek said with pride then turned to Mulder. "Fox, I was thinking about getting this duster." He slipped the coat on and modeled it for the older man. "How's it look?" Mulder forgot his shyness as unabashed lust clouded his eyes. "Like it was made for you." "Think I should get it?" Swallowing, Mulder took a few steps toward the younger man and laid his head on the leather covered shoulder. "Yes, Alex." The breathily whispered words went straight to Krycek's cock. He grasped a handful of hair and pulled Mulder in for a deep kiss. The customer and clerk groaned in unison as the couple writhed against each other, and when the dark man released his lover, they slumped back against the counter. "Damn, you two are hot," the clerk gasped. Krycek ignored the man for the moment, keeping his eyes on Mulder. "Go get changed, and we can look around some more." Nodding, Mulder rubbed his head against Krycek's shoulder before he turned and prowled back into the dressing room. Only then did Krycek turn his attention on the clerk. "We're gonna take all that stuff." He took the duster off and handed it to the man. "And this. And we're going to look around a little more." "You got it," the man said. "Anything I can help you with, you just let me know." The two men went about their business, and when Mulder came out of the dressing room, he moved right to Krycek's side, purring happily as the other man wound an arm around him and kissed his temple. "Let's see what else we can find for my pretty Fox," Krycek rumbled, stroking and petting his lover as they moved around the store. Several minutes later, a familiar voice drew Krycek's attention. "Well, would you look who's here?" Krycek turned around and smirked at C.J. "Never seen you in here. You following me or what?" C.J. chuckled. "Nah, man. Got a hot date tonight." He glanced at Mulder and smiled. "Hey, Fox." "Hi, C.J." "God, it does my heart good to see you together. It would have been a fucking crime if you had left things the way they were. It's so obvious the way you..." Cutting C.J. off, Krycek turned quickly to Mulder, giving the man a bone-melting smile. "Baby, why don't you go look around? I gotta talk to C.J. for a minute." Casting a wary glance at the two men, Mulder delivered a soft 'okay' and walked away, leaving Krycek alone with C.J. "Okay, it wasn't too obvious that you were trying to get rid of him." "Yeah, and now I'm going to have to deal with his curiosity about that. Thanks." "What'd I do?" "Anybody ever tell you that you're worse than a woman?" "What? All I started to say was, it was it plain to see..." "You don't see anything, C.J." C.J. started to laugh. "Oh, come on, Alex. You're so in love with him you can't see straight, and he's completely gone on you too. I knew it that night at the club...this isn't news to you, is it?" "Listen," Krycek whispered. "You keep your mouth shut, okay? I don't need you upsetting him." "Upsetting? How do you think him knowing that you love him would upset him?" Krycek rubbed at his eyes. "My feelings are not up for discussion. With anyone." "Not even the guy you've got the feelings for?" "Especially him. Look...I'm good to him. I'm attentive, I'm sweet...things I never thought I could be." He glanced over at Mulder, who was on the other side of the store, investigating the reading material. "I'll do everything I can and more to make him always feel wanted and special, but I can't give any more than that. You telling him that I...it wouldn't be fair. Not if I can't say it to him, myself." "I don't understand. Why can't you? You do love him, I know you do. I could see it all over your face when you looked at him just now. And I know you know that he loves you." "He hasn't said that to me." "I take it you're still his master?" "Yeah...though I'm finding it damn hard to be as firm with him as I should be." "He fucks you up that much?" Krycek closed his eyes and nodded. C.J. emitted a breathy laugh. "You got it bad, my friend. Anyway...he probably feels it's improper for him to be so personal with you. If you asked him, he wouldn't deny it, though. I'll bet my eye teeth on it...go on. Ask him." Krycek shook his head. "Why not?" "It'll just open up another can of worms, and I've got enough to deal with." One dark eyebrow lifted. "Oh?" Krycek sighed heavily. "Ah, fuck. Why not? You're already all up in my business...after I asked him if he wanted to move in with me, he asked if it'd be okay with me if at some time in the future, he wanted to dump the master/slave thing and have a more conventional relationship." C.J. shrugged. "What was your answer? And wait a minute. You asked him to live with you?" "Yeah. I told him to give it some thought." "You asked the man to live with you, but you won't tell him that you love him." "God, would you shut up about that already?" "Okay, okay. Let's get back to the relationship thing. What did you say to him?" "I didn't really say anything. He pushed, I pulled rank and nixed the whole conversation." Krycek sighed. "He got quiet, he didn't sleep well, I didn't sleep at all, and that was pretty much that, aside from me telling him this morning that I didn't mean to get snappish with him." "That was it? That's how you left it?" "I took his mind off of it...punished him like I promised I would for him biting my lip a few nights ago." C.J. laughed. "He bit you?" "Yeah. Drew blood. It was the night I went to his apartment to bring him back. He was being bitchy about it, and when I kissed him, he bit me." C.J. broke into raucous laughter. "I knew he was feisty but, woo hoo!" "I'm glad you're amused. Anyway, afterward, I promised him that we'd go out and do stuff today, and that's what we're doing." "How long do you think you're going to be able to avoid this?" C.J. asked. "You might not want to open yourself up completely to Fox for whatever reason, but the deeper you fall, the harder it's gonna get. Especially if he's living with you." C.J. shook his head. "He's really got your thong in a twist, doesn't he? I've never known you to be so irrational...not that I know you well, but I've always seen you so cool and calculating and in control...you'd never ask anyone else to move in with you, would you? Not without thinking through every possible consequence." "I doubt it." Krycek let out another sigh. "I just...I want him with me." "You need him with you." C.J. leaned in close. "Because you loooove him." "Knock it off with that." "Okay." C.J. threw up his hands. "Okay. The day's gonna come soon enough when you won't be able to deny it. And I'm gonna be right there, saying I told you so." "Not if I kill you first," Krycek growled, and C.J. took two steps back. "Fine. I'm gonna go get what I came for. Tell Fox I said good-bye and have a nice weekend." "Yeah. Enjoy your hot date." The men separated, and Krycek returned to Mulder, walking up behind the older man and slipping his arms around him. "Didn't mean to keep you waiting, but once C.J. gets talking it's hard to shut him up." Mulder nodded and put the DVD he was looking at, back. "Are we finished?" Krycek looked at him in surprise. He was sure that Fox was going to third degree him about his conversation with C.J. "Let's just do one quick lap to make sure there's nothing we've overlooked, then we can pay for our stuff and go." Nearly half an hour later they were on their way back to the apartment, Krycek driving in silence. Mulder sneaked a few glances in his direction, taking in the pensive expression. When he could finally take no more of the silence, he cleared his throat. "...Alex?" "Hmm?" "Is everything all right?" Krycek knew that was his way of asking about his conversation with C.J. "Yeah," he answered. "Everything's fine." Mulder nodded and looked down at his hands folded in his lap. Before he could say anything more, Krycek's hand slid across the seat and stroked his thigh. "You were a big hit at the store. Those guys were drooling all over themselves." Mulder just shrugged in response. Krycek changed the subject slightly. "Know what we're gonna do until dinner time?" Mulder's voice was a hint of a whisper. "What?" The other man's hand moved to Mulder's crotch, caressing and massaging. "Guess." Mulder's eyes lifted to Krycek's face. "I'm not being punished any more?" "No," Krycek whispered, rubbing the growing bulge. "It's time to let that go and move on. Besides," he smirked. "You got me so turned on at the store, I can't wait anymore to make you scream." Mulder's lashes fell down over his eyes, and he took a deep breath. And as easily as that, every thought in his head turned blatantly sexual. "So beautiful," Krycek moaned, squeezing the denim bulge a bit harder. Mulder's head dropped back against the seat, and he whimpered softly. "Soon, Fox," Krycek promised. "We'll be there soon." Krycek drove as fast as he could without running the risk of getting pulled over, and when they reached the building, the couple jumped out of the car and made their way quickly to his apartment. Krycek unlocked and threw the door open then tossed the bags aside and reached for Mulder. Tugging violently at the other man's clothing, he stripped him bare then tore off his own things and pushed Mulder over a black, leather chair. Mulder waited, trembling as Krycek located the nearest tube of lube, and when he did, he squeezed some out onto two fingers and thrust them both between Mulder's ass cheeks. "Uh!" Mulder's mouth fell open, and his eyes squeezed shut as Krycek's fingers pushed insistently into his ass. A harsh gurgle rolled in his throat as Krycek began to finger fuck him, coating the tight passage with lube. "You like that, baby?" Krycek asked, the words coming out in a soft pant. Whimpering, Mulder nodded. "Do you want to feel my cock up your ass?" "Yes, Alex," Mulder hissed. "Please. Oh, God, please." Krycek withdrew his fingers then slicked up his cock and drove it hard into Mulder's loosened ass. The older man's head snapped back, and he wailed loudly. "Ah, God! Nnnnnnnh..." Krycek grabbed a handful of hair, yanking Mulder's head back as far as he could, and he slammed into the other man. Groaning through gritted teeth, he fucked Mulder as hard as he could, pushing the older man's hips against the arm of the chair. Mulder's cock rubbed against the buttery-soft leather with each brutal thrust, and he issued a series of choked sobs. Devastation was fast approaching, and there was no way in hell he'd be able to hold it. In the same situation, Krycek lunged erratically into his lover, his loud, growling sobs joining Mulder's own cries. His body bucked and shuddered as orgasm hit, and Mulder followed immediately, screaming and clawing at the seat cushion of the chair as he came all over the side of it. When it was done, both men slid to the floor, Krycek sprawled on his back, Mulder between his widely parted legs, head resting low on his belly. It wasn't long at all before Krycek began to snore softly. Realizing for the first time since this morning that Krycek had never tried to make up for the sleep he'd lost last night, Mulder lifted his head and stared down at the other man. Reaching up to brush a few wild strands away from Krycek's forehead, he smiled when the other man never moved. He got up quietly and, wincing at the soreness in his ass, walked slowly into the bathroom to clean up. Krycek was in the same position when Mulder returned and only moaned softly when the other man cleaned the drying semen from his body with a damp cloth. Much as he hated to disturb the younger man, Mulder couldn't let him sleep on the hardwood floor. He leaned in and laid a tender kiss on Krycek's cheek, then his chin. He called the other man's name softly then a little louder when there was no response. Krycek's eyelashes fluttered then opened part way. "C'mon, Alex. Let me put you to bed." With a small amount of trouble, Mulder got the other man to his feet then walked him into the bedroom. Krycek sank down onto the bed, turned onto his side and promptly fell back into a deep sleep. Mulder sat at the edge of the bed for a while, stroking the soft sable hair, his heart full to overflowing. He couldn't hold it in. He had to say it, and now, with Alex fast asleep, it was as good a time as any. "I love you," he mouthed more than whispered. Once said, his body was flooded with warmth, his heart filled with joy, and a huge smile lit his face. "Oh, God, Alex, I love you." It felt so good to say it. And damn the consequences, he was going to tell Krycek the minute he woke up. Still grinning, Mulder rose from the bed and left Krycek to his nap. Krycek wandered into the living room, rubbing at one eye, and he looked around the empty room. Sounds coming from the direction of the laundry room beckoned him there, and he found Mulder naked except for his collar, and whistling as he removed a load of clothing from the washer. The older man looked up at him and smiled. "Feel better?" "Yeah." Krycek looked at his watch. "God, I've been asleep for what? Three hours?" "Thereabout." Krycek looked around the room then back at Mulder. "What've you been doing?" Mulder held up a pair of jeans. "Laundry, mostly. A little dusting." He smirked. "Cleaned that chair you had me bent over." Krycek smiled and lowered his head for a moment. "Are we still going out?" Krycek drew a long breath and nodded. "Yeah. We didn't have lunch. You hungry?" "Getting there." "When you're done there, let's get cleaned up and changed, then we can go find someplace nice to eat." //Perfect,// Mulder thought to himself. //I'll tell him over dinner.// An hour and a half later, they were pulling up to a very nice restaurant in the center of the city. It wasn't horribly crowded for a weekend night, and they didn't have to wait long for a table. Once seated, they looked over their menus. Mulder was the first to put his down. "You know what you want?" Krycek asked, looking above his menu at the other man. Mulder smiled and nodded. "Prime rib." Krycek nodded and turned back to his menu. When he'd decided, he set it down and gazed across the table at Mulder. Mulder stared back...and for some reason felt a twinge of discomfort. The smile faded from his face, and he started having second thoughts about his announcement. //No. Oh, no. Don't you go looking for excuses not to say it. There's nothing to be afraid of. No reason to...// "Fox, I've been thinking." Krycek's soft words interrupted his thoughts. And that feeling was back. "W-what about?" "I was completely out of line the other night, asking you to move in with me. It's way too soon to ask you to make a decision like that." Mulder stared wide-eyed, shaking his head. "No. N-no, Alex. It wasn't..." "It was," Krycek insisted. "For both of us. We have to give it some time before we leap into living together." Mulder started putting two and two together and came up with six. "You...you changed your mind," he accused, his mind speeding to every painful conclusion. "You decided that you don't want to live with me, and you're trying to sugar coat it by saying that we need more time." //Ah, shit.// "I'm not sugar coating anything. I just think..." "Is that what that private conversation was today with C.J.?" In an instant, Mulder's eyes filled with tears. "Were you telling him that you thought you'd made a mistake? Did you ask him for advice on how to kick me to the curb without screwing up future opportunities to stick your dick in me?" "That's not what we were talking about," Krycek murmured under his breath. "Come on, Fox. Don't take it that way." Mulder pressed his lips together and lowered his head. "Fox..." "How else am I supposed to take it? You know, it makes sense now. You didn't want to commit to an equal relationship, and since you felt you couldn't have me the way you wanted, you didn't want to live with me any more," Mulder choked then looked up at Krycek, one tear starting to track its way down his cheek. He shook his head, laughing bitterly. "God, I'm stupid. You know what I was going to tell you tonight?" Krycek sat stone still in his chair, heart aching at the other man's pain. "I shouldn't tell you, but why not? You and C.J. can get a good laugh. I was going to tell you that I love you. God, what a pathetic asshole." Krycek stared, shocked. "You..." Mulder got up, almost toppling his water. "I can't do this. I can't, I..." He turned and fled the restaurant. Krycek followed quickly and caught up to him in the parking lot. "Fox." He grabbed the older man by the arm and spun him around. "Fox, stop." "Leave me alone, Alex," Mulder choked, wrenching his arm out of Krycek's grasp. "Please, just leave me alone." "Okay," Krycek sighed. "All right, listen. Let's go home. You can close yourself up in the bedroom, where you don't have to look at me, and you can take all the time you need to cool off. Then we can talk." "I don't want to talk," Mulder snapped. "And I don't want to be in your bedroom or your apartment. I'm getting a cab, and I'm going home." "Fox, don't. Don't do this. You're just upset. Tomorrow, things'll look different, and..." "Things won't look different. You'll still be a selfish bastard, and I'll still be hopelessly pathetic." "You're not pathetic," Krycek growled at him. "Stop saying that." "I must be," Mulder shot back. "To think that you'd want me for anything more than a toy you could play dress up with and fuck whenever the mood struck you." Krycek reached for Mulder again, and the other man viciously slapped his hand away. "Until you don't want me anymore came a hell of a lot faster than I thought. Go to hell, Krycek." Stricken, Krycek watched Mulder flee the lot. He stood there long after Mulder had disappeared from his sight then he turned and walked slowly to his car. He sat there for long minutes, choking back the scalding sensation in his eyes and nose, then he started the car and drove away. "What is starboard, you dummy." Scully shook her head at the incredible stupidity of contestant number two and shoveled another forkful of canned spaghetti into her mouth. The ringing buzzer snapped her head around, and she frowned at the door. "Who the hell's this?" She pushed herself off the sofa and squinted into the peephole. Swearing softly, she unlocked the door and pulled it open. "Mulder, what's wrong? You look like hell." "You were right, Scully," Mulder whispered, his voice hoarse and filled with agony. She didn't have to ask what about. Scully pulled her despondent partner into the room and closed the door behind him. "Come on, Mulder. Sit down and tell me all about it." Part Ten—A Matter of Control The couple sat in silence, each looking at the patch of floor at their feet. Finally, the woman spoke. "I'm going to say something, Mulder, and I hope you believe me, because I swear it's true...I'm sorry." Mulder kept staring at the floor and said nothing. "I'm not sorry that you're not with him any more, but I am sorry that you're hurting over it. I didn't want to be right. For your sake I didn't want to be." "He didn't have to love me back," Mulder murmured. "I could have lived with that, you know? It's the lie...it's the fact that he wanted me all on his terms. I'd...I'd given him so much...just about everything. I wanted to, Scully. I really did. I loved being his. I only asked for one thing. Not even. I only wanted the possibility of a balanced relationship." His head dropped even lower. "He said he'd always want me. What he meant was, he'd want me until something couldn't go his way, and then he'd be done with me." Scully slid closer and covered one limp hand with her own "I really am sorry, Mulder. That son of a bitch." Scully eyes flashed blue fire. "I told him that if he ever hurt you, I'd..." "Leave it alone, Scully," Mulder pleaded softly. "Please. Please, just leave it alone. It's done. Over." Scully studied her partner, taking in the dejected slump of his shoulders and incredible sadness in his eyes, and her heart ached. "Okay, Mulder, okay. You uh...you wanna stay here tonight?" "No," Mulder sniffed. "No. I just...I didn't want to go home right away, but I have to sooner or later." "It can be later." "No. No later than tonight. I can't let him do this to me. I lived just fine without him before. I can do it again." "I know you can," Scully encouraged, unsure of the sentiment. "Okay, Mulder. You go on home if you have to. But if you get there and find it's too much to take, you know you can come back." Mulder lifted his head and cast a watery gaze on his partner. "Scully, I...I'm sorry about all the fighting we did. I should have listened to you. I'm sorry." Scully pulled the distraught man into her arms. "It's okay, Mulder. Don't worry about it." Mulder clung to Scully, accepting the comfort his partner offered. Several minutes passed before he pulled out of her arms and, sniffing back a few stray tears, got to his feet. "Time to go. It's getting late. Thanks for being here, Scully." The woman shrugged and gave him a little smile. "It's my apartment. Where else would I be?" Mulder tried to return the smile, but it fell flat. "I'm gonna call you tomorrow, okay?" Scully asked as she rose and accompanied Mulder to the door. "Would it matter if I asked you not to?" "No." "I didn't think so." Mulder snapped his fingers as he remembered one of his reasons for coming. "Scully, can you give me your key to my place? I left everything at his apartment." "How're you going to get it all back?" "I don't know. I can't think about that right now." Scully nodded and retrieved Mulder's key, pressing it into his warm palm. Mulder hugged her once more, thanked her again then left. Scully shut the door softly, stood by it for a number of seconds with her fists clenched, then she stormed into her bedroom. Mulder walked into the pitch blackness of his apartment, listening to the deafening silence. He turned a small lamp on and wandered into the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator door, he pulled out a half empty bottle of water and drained the rest of it. He tossed the bottle onto the counter and trudged in past the living room, straight into the bedroom. Flipping on another lamp, his gaze went straight to the bed, and he doubled over with the pain of the memory of the last time he'd slept here. "Alex," he whispered brokenly. "Oh, God, Alex." Mulder fell onto the bed and, hands clenched in his hair, rolled into a miserable ball. The couple sat at the small table, eyes glued on each other despite the all the action around them. "How's your drink?" "Good. Thanks. I uh...I was really surprised when you called me." "Why?" "I don't know, I..." The man's sentence was cut off by the small, redheaded woman who'd come to stand behind his date. "I want to talk to you." C.J. turned around and looked up into determined blue eyes. "Ah, shit. What're you doing here?" "Looking for Krycek. But since I can't find him, you'll have to do. Where is he?" "How the hell should I know?" "You haven't seen him?" "I ran into him and Fox earlier today at a store. I haven't seen him since. Okay? Can I get back to my date now?" "No. Where's he live?" "Forget it, lady. Fox is your friend. Why don't you call and bug him?" "Mulder is home, all heart broken because of that bastard," Scully grated. "Now, where does he live?" "Wait. Wait, wait." C.J. turned to his date. "I'm sorry, Mick. But I need to find out what's going on here." "It's okay. I'm not going anywhere." C.J. smiled at his date then turned his attention back to Scully. "Now, what do you mean, Fox is home and heartbroken?" "Just what I said." "That's...that's impossible. I told you I saw them this afternoon. They were shopping." "I don't care what they were doing this afternoon. Tonight, they're separated. And Krycek's gotta pay." C.J. ran a hand over his bald head. "Shit. Ah, shit. What the hell happened?" "I told you what happened. Krycek hurt him bad. And now I'm going to shoot him." C.J. shook his head. "Listen, Miss...Scully, is it? I don't know what happened, but you can be sure that Alex did nothing to purposely hurt Fox. I'm sure it's just some kind of misunderstanding." "Tell that to Mulder," Scully hissed. "You know what? I will. As soon as I talk to Alex and get the straight dope." "Alex has never been straight with anyone in his whole miserable life. Now, why don't you just tell me where I can find him, and you can get back to your date?" "You know I'm not going to do that. And I'm not going to go running to him as soon as you leave, so you can forget about following me." Scully heaved a frustrated sigh. "But I know that sooner or later you're going to contact him. "You tell that lousy excuse for a human being that he'd better keep the hell away from Mulder. He's done a shitload of damage in a very short time, and I'll kill him before I give him the chance to do any more." Scully spun around and stormed off, and Mick raised his eyebrows at C.J. "I do believe she's serious. What's she talking about, if you don't mind me asking?" C.J. sighed and rested his head in his hand. "Oh, God, a friend of mine...he's so in love with the man she's talking about, but for some reason he can't tell him. It's a long story, but I wonder if this supposed breakup has anything to do with that. Jesus, he must be hurting." "Why don't you go see him?" Mick asked. "I will. Tomorrow." "No, I mean now. If he's in as much pain as you think he might be, he probably needs a shoulder to cry on." C.J. smiled. "I don't think Alex has ever cried in his life." "Well then, an ear to bend." "I don't know if he'll talk to me." He shrugged at Mick. "Alex is sort of a tough nut." "Still. I know what it's like to be hurt and have no one to talk to. Why don't you go? I'm fine, really. We can go out again." "...Seriously?" "Yeah." "Damn, are you for real?" Mick smiled. "Yeah. On our next date, maybe I'll show you how real." C.J. moaned deep in his throat. "I'll remember that." "I hope so." C.J. looked around. "Ah, what am I thinking? I'll just bet she's lurking around here someplace waiting for me to leave." Mick smiled at C.J. "Well, let's see if we can find her before she finds you." Scully lingered unseen in the shadows, keeping her eyes on C.J. He was going to leave, she knew he was. And she was sure that when he did, he'd be going straight to Krycek. "C'mon, you bastard. Come on out." "Hey." Scully turned around and glared at the man in tight leather at her back. "Take a walk, pal. I'm not interested." "Neither am I, honey. I'm just here to give you a message." "Message from who?" Scully asked, turning back to watch the couple. "Alex." The red head snapped around, and Scully turned a heated stare on the man. "What'd you say?" "Alex. He heard you were looking for him. He says he wants to talk to you." "Well, here I am." "He's downstairs. He won't come up." "Why not?" "Hey, I don't know. I'm just delivering the fucking message. He's downstairs in the third room to your right." "Why should I believe you?" "I don't care if you do. The message has been delivered. If you don't want to talk to him, that's your business." The man turned and walked away, leaving Scully alone. She stared after him, debating on whether or not she should believe him. //It could be a trick just to get you out of here so that C.J. character can take off.// //Or Krycek could really be downstairs, and you will have missed your chance to friggin' kill him.// Cursing softly, she found her way to the stairs and descended. "Oh, my God." She walked through the dark hall, cringing at the sounds that came from behind the closed doors, and when she came to the third door on her right, she took a deep breath, opened the door and peeked in. "Krycek? You here, you piece of shit?" "Yeah, sure he is." Someone shoved her into the room and locked the door quickly. The moment she'd regained her balance, she lunged at the door, pounding on the heavy metal. "Let me out of here!" she screamed. "I'm going to arrest every goddamn one of you, you assholes!" Standing outside the door, C.J., Mick and a couple of the men they'd recruited congratulated each other silently, then C.J. whispered to the one called Frank. "Give me ten minutes then let her out." "You got it. I hope you can help Alex. He and that Fox babe are such a hot couple." "I know. Thanks, guys." C.J. turned to Mick and smiled at the other man. "I'll call you tomorrow," he murmured. Mick nodded and stopped C.J. before he could turn away. Leaning in, he laid a long, hot kiss on him. "Wow," C.J. breathed. "What was that for?" "A sensitive man, who's willing to go out of his way to help a friend, really turns me on." "Really?" C.J. growled. "Glad to hear it." He came in for another kiss then backed off. "Talk to you soon." Back in the room, Scully listened at the door, hearing muffled voices but was unable to understand what was being said. When it got quiet again, she started to pound. "Who's out there? Let me the hell out!" When there was no response, she turned around and faced the room. Her jaw dropped when, for the first time she took stock of what was around her. "Oh, my God." Hand over her mouth, she wandered slowly around the space, gaping at the evil-looking contraptions. Free standing, attached to the wall...some hanging from the ceiling. And the other stuff... Did Mulder...did he really let Krycek use these things on him? "Oh, God," she croaked. "Mulder. Aw, Mulder..." The buzzer rang insistently for the third time, but it went unanswered. "Alex. Alex, come on. It's C.J. I know you're here. I saw your car. Alex, open the door. I'm not going away. I'll stay out here all night driving you nuts...don't think I won't." Nothing. "Fine. I got a better idea. I'll go visit Fox. See what he's got to say about what happened." He was five steps from the door when it swung open and a pair of bloodshot eyes set in a grizzled face glared out at him. "You look like shit. You been drinking?" "So what if I have?" "Can I come in?" "No." "Alex, I know that Fox is gone. Don't just sit here drinking yourself into oblivion. Talk to me. Tell me what happened." Krycek's gaze went to the floor, and his body leaned heavily against the door frame. "Don't want to." "Yeah, you do." With a pout worthy of Mulder, he shook his head and pushed away from the door. Teetering a bit, he found his footing and trudged back into the apartment. "Go 'way, C.J.," he mumbled even as the other man followed him in and shut the door. "Damn, I've never seen you drunk before," C.J. whispered. "Alex...Alex, sit down before you fall down." When Krycek fell onto the sofa, C.J. took a seat across from him. "Alex, tell me what happened." Krycek shrugged. "He's gone. I fucked up, and he's gone. 'Kay? Now get out." "What'd you do?" Rubbing a fist over one eye, Krycek reached for the mostly empty bottle of Vodka, but C.J. got there first and snatched it away. "Gimme that." "You've had more than enough, I think." "Gimme it! Krycek shouted. "Forget it." "Gonna kill you soon as I'm sober," Krycek croaked. "Okay, yeah, you can kill me if that makes you feel better. But right now, you're going to tell me what happened between you and Fox to put you in this condition." Krycek sighed heavily. "He thinks m'a selfish prick." "Why?" "Cuz I told him it was too soon to live together." "You...you changed your mind?" Krycek frowned at the other man. "No. But he thinks I did. Din' change my mind." He leaned over, resting his head on the arm of the sofa. "I want him," he sighed. "Ah, Fox, I...why'd you go? Din' want you to..." Confused, C.J. watched as Krycek's lashes dropped down over his eyes. He mumbled a couple more incoherent things, and he was out. Shaking his head, C.J. got up searched the apartment. Finding the linen closet, he pulled down a light blanket and draped it over the unconscious man. Pulling off his shoes, he lifted Krycek's legs up onto the sofa then reclaimed his seat. Resting his head in his hand, he watched the other man sleep. "Love sucks sometimes, doesn't it?" "Ah, fffffuck." Krycek lifted a hand to his pounding head and attempted to open his eyes. "Headache?" Krycek's eyes snapped open, and he bolted upright, searching for the owner of the voice. When three C.J.'s came in sight, he moaned and slowly lowered himself back to the cushions. "What're you doing here? How'd you get in?" "You let me in. Last night." "What?" "You were so drunk, you don't even remember." Another moan. "I'm gonna go get you something for your head." C.J. disappeared into the kitchen and came back a few minutes later, carrying a tray of dry toast, water, aspirin, a cup of coffee and a glass of orange juice. "Come on; sit up. Slowly." Eyes closed, Krycek frowned. "Leave me alone." "Like hell. Get up, Alex." Glaring at the other man, Krycek surprised him by doing as he asked. C.J. wondered if his luck would hold out. "Have some toast." Krycek lifted a slice to his mouth and bit off a tiny piece. "You..." he squinted up at C.J. out of the corner of his eye. "...stayed here?" C.J. lifted the mug from the tray. "Yeah." "Why?" The other man shrugged. "I wanted to make sure you were okay. It's what friends do." Krycek put the toast down and lowered his head, closing his eyes. "What is it?" The sable head shook slowly. "I haven't...I haven't had a friend since I was a kid." "Well, that's a shame." C.J. took a seat and stared at the other man. "Friends do something else too." Krycek lifted his head a bit and ran a hand over his face. "What?" "They talk. Tell me about yesterday, Alex. You said you fucked up. You said a couple of other things, but you were so fried, it didn't make much sense." Krycek lifted his head a bit more but kept his eyes closed. "Why did you come here? How did you know..." "That little redheaded pit bull came gunning for you at the club last night. She said you'd broken Fox's heart then demanded to know where you were. 'Course, I didn't tell her. Couple of the guys, my date and I lured her into one of the downstairs rooms and locked her in for a while so she couldn't follow me." "She must be pissed." "Yeah, well, let her be. The last thing you needed was her on your ass about this...whatever the hell happened. Speaking of which...what did happen, Alex?" Drawing a long breath, Krycek let it out then took the aspirin without being told to. He took another tiny bite of the toast then cleared the rubble from his throat. When he spoke, his voice was no louder or clearer. "I...I told him that it was a mistake to ask him to live with me. I said it was too soon, that we...needed more time before we jumped into something so important. He took it all wrong. He said I was just trying to get rid of him because I didn't want the nature of our relationship to change. I tried to convince him that that wasn't the case, but...once Fox gets an idea in his head, it's tough to convince him of anything different." "And he just bugged out of here?" "We were at dinner," Krycek rasped. "Hadn't even ordered yet. He..." he looked up at C.J. "...you were right." "About?" "He was so upset. He...he said that he was going to tell me that he...God," Krycek whispered. "...That he loved me. Then he broke. I ran after him. Caught up with him in the parking lot. I tried to get him to come back here with me, but he wouldn't. He was...C.J., he was so hurt. I couldn't stand it. He...he told me to go to hell, and he ran. And I let him." "Why didn't you go after him?" C.J. asked. "I couldn't hurt him any more if I left him alone." "I don't think that's true," C.J. murmured gently. "Alex, he'd just told you that he loved you. No matter how it'd come out, it was still a pretty heavy announcement." That you didn't go after him..." C.J. opened and closed his mouth, trying to find the words he wanted. "...it just...it reinforced what he already thought to be true." Krycek's hands clenched in his hair. "Why can't you tell him you love him?" "Jesus, are we back on that again?" "Yes. We are. Because that is at the crux of your problems." Silence. "You need to come clean, Alex. If not with me, with yourself at least. Only then will you be able to settle this thing with Fox. Until then, you're both going to miserable and lonely. Is that what you want?" Krycek leaned back against the cushions, rubbing his forehead. He said nothing. C.J. sipped at his coffee. "Finish your toast and have some of that juice. Maybe you'll be able to think more clearly when you're feeling better." Half an hour later, Krycek was horizontal again on the couch, and most of his breakfast was gone. C.J. cleaned up and squatted beside the other man, placing a cold cloth over his forehead. "Listen, I'm gonna take off. I kinda broke up my date last night, and..." Krycek moved the cloth away from his eyes and blinked at the other man. "You cut your date short to come over here?" "Yeah. He was very understanding." C.J. smirked. "He thought my sensitivity to a friend in need was kinda hot." "So, that's it," Krycek droned. "You're not here for me, you're just looking to get some new tail." C.J. laughed. "Yeah, that's it." The smile faded from his face. "Alex...promise me you're going to think about what I said. Don't lose Fox because you can't bring yourself to face up to whatever it is that's got you spooked." "I've already lost him," Krycek whispered. "Or haven't you noticed?" "I don't believe that. You go to him with the truth about how you're feeling. Tell him you love him, and you can't live without him, and he'll fall back into your arms." "You reading romance novels in between dungeon sessions again?" "Just follow my advice, would you? The least you can do is make my death at the hands of that Scully chick count for something. She's probably staking out the club right now, just waiting for me to come back." "Be careful, C.J.," Krycek warned. "She's a nasty little thing when she's pissed off." "Great." C.J. started toward the door, stopping when Krycek called to him. He turned to face the other man, who was carefully sitting up. "Yeah?" "Thank you," Krycek said softly. "If nothing else, it's good to know that I've got a friend." C.J. pounded twice on his chest and flashed Krycek the peace sign, then he opened the door and walked out, leaving Krycek alone with his throbbing head and a hell of a lot to think about. "How're you feeling?" Mulder stood at the door after Scully had already entered, rubbing his face. "Peachy. You?" "Pissed as hell." "Still?" "Oh, yeah. I went looking for Krycek last night at that club." Mulder spun around, ready to say something, but Scully cut him off. "I know you told me to leave it alone, but I couldn't, Mulder. Look what he's done to you. I couldn't in all good conscience let it go unanswered." "God." Mulder closed his eyes and leaned up against the wall. "Did you find him?" "No. Found his buddy C.J., though. He wouldn't tell me where Krycek was. He didn't know what had happened, so I gave him the very short version, figuring he'd go to Krycek for the full story, and I'd follow him. I gave him less credit than I should have. He figured that's what I'd do, and he and some of his friends set a little trap for me." "What trap?" "They sent someone to find me, and he told me that Krycek was downstairs and wanted to talk to me. I thought it was true, because the guy couldn't seem to give a shit whether I went or not. Anyway, I went downstairs to the room he'd told me to go into, and they locked me in." Mulder stared in silence. "I was only in there for about ten minutes when they let me out. Just long enough for C.J. to leave. And long enough to get a gander at some of the tools of the trade. Mulder..." "Did you catch any of them?" Mulder asked quickly, cutting her off. "The cowards unlocked the door and scattered like mice, so I didn't catch anyone." Mulder pushed away from the wall and moved slowly into the living room, where Scully now stood. "So...are you pissed because they tricked you, or because you didn't get to rip Alex's throat out?" "Both." Mulder sighed and sank to the sofa, curling up in one corner. "I'm asking you again, Scully. Leave it alone." "Aren't you pissed, Mulder? You should be!" Mulder shook his head and hid his face in a cushion. "You're not under his thumb any more," Scully urged. "React!" "I am reacting." "How? By hiding in your couch? You're a fighter, Mulder! You're stubborn, and you're tough and..." "I'm hurt," Mulder broke in, his voice choked with unshed tears. "Can you understand that, Scully? I feel like my heart's been ripped out of my chest. I don't have the energy to be pissed." Scully groaned and dropped onto the sofa beside her friend. "Okay, Mulder," she said, patting his thigh. "Okay...did you sleep?" He shook his head slowly. "Why don't you try? I'll be here if you need anything." "I don't think I can." Scully pulled Mulder away from the corner and made him lay his head in her lap. Stroking his hair, she spoke softly to him. "Close your eyes. Relax. You'll feel better once you've rested." Mulder closed his eyes and a short while later, did fall deeply asleep. The room was mostly dark. And warm. Humid like an August night. It was hard to breathe, even harder to see, but he heard. "We have company today, Alex. Isn't that nice?" Three men stepped out of the shadows and surrounded the boy, whose wide, frightened eyes seemed too big for his youthful face. "No. Please. I don't want to. No more. Please, no more..." "We've been through this, Alex. Haven't we?" "...Yes." "Are you supposed to speak before you're spoken to?" "No." "May you refuse to do anything I direct you to do?" "N-no." "What happens if you do?" He began to cry. "What happens, Alex?" "I spend the night in the basement. Please...I...I don't want to." "Now, Alex. If you don't bother the rats, they won't bother you." He sobbed harder. "Tell you what. If you're very nice to our company, I'll consider suspending your punishment." One of the men stepped forward, and the boy went to him, sniffing back tears. "I do believe you've grown a couple of inches since the last time I was here," the man said, sounding almost like a favorite uncle. "You're becoming a very handsome young man." The boy shivered as his hair was ruffled by the meaty hand. "Come with me." The man led him past the other two, whose eyes seemed to bore searing holes into him. They entered a large office, and the man stopped in front of a grand mahogany desk and waited. With trembling hands, the boy began to slowly undress. He kept his eyes to the floor, not wanting to see the hunger in the man's eyes. When he was naked, he moved forward, stopping in front of the man, who was at least eight inches taller than he was and had to outweigh him by a good hundred and forty pounds. Breathing heavily, the man unzipped his pants and pushed them down to his knees. The boy felt his gorge rise but fought to keep calm as the man gently pushed on his shoulders. A damp, musty smell emanated from the region of his crotch, and the boy tried not to breathe much as he did what was expected of him. The man grunted as he pawed the longish sable hair, and the boy tensed as his fingers tightened around the silky strands. He whimpered as the man began to thrust into his mouth, and as he went deeper, the boy gagged and instinctively tried to push away. His frantic actions only served to excite the man, and he held the boy's head still while he began to buck quickly. The boy was about to throw up when the man withdrew suddenly and pulled him by his hair to his feet. Shoving him against the desk, he held the boy's head down to the mahogany surface and drove into him from behind. Pain exploded through the boy's body, and he bit down on the inside of his mouth until he tasted blood. "Do you love me, Alex?" The boy squeezed his eyes tightly shut. "...Yes." The man emitted a low, wet growl. "Tell me." Fighting back tears, the boy opened his mouth, making a pitiful, sobbing sound, then the words wheezed out. "I...love you." "Ahhhhh, yes." The man doubled his efforts, pushing the boy hard against the desk, and all at once, it was done. The man lay over him, panting heavily for what seemed to him like an eternity, then he grunted loudly and pulled out with a sickening, squishing sound. The boy felt the fluid the man had pumped into him run out and down his trembling legs. The man pushed off of him and, pulling his pants up far enough so he could walk, he ambled into the washroom. The boy, still lying on top of the desk, heard the water go on, and a few minutes later, the man came out, fully dressed. His puffy cheeks were flushed, and he smiled down at the boy. "Go get cleaned up," he said in that uncle voice. "But don't get dressed. You're not done yet." He exited the room, and the boy wrapped his arms around himself, fighting the violent shivers that passed through him. He slid off of the desk and onto the floor, curling up there, not caring that he was sitting in a small puddle of the man's stuff and his own blood. He was alone. For a moment at least, and he let himself cry... Krycek opened his eyes, and he was shivering uncontrollably. It had been a very long time since he'd allowed himself to think about the horrors of his adolescence. The memories had left him so debilitated both mentally and physically that it would be days sometimes before he could do anything for himself. Lying in a miserable heap on the sofa, he tried to struggle back from the darkness. He couldn't let it take him this time. There was too much to consider. Too much at stake. Too much to lose. When Mulder opened his eyes, it was dark. Too dark to see clearly, and he sat up, blinking. "Scully?" She had been there. His port in the storm, his best friend...his only friend in the world. She'd been there; cool hand stroking his hair and his cheek, offering comfort and quiet. But where was she now?" The toilet flushed, and several seconds later, a widening slat of light swept across the floor. Scully appeared in the hazy yellow band, and she walked softly toward him. "Welcome back to the living." "How long..." "Quite a few hours. It just got dark about twenty minutes ago." Mulder ran a hand over his face and through his hair. "You been here all this time?" "Yeah." He lowered his head. "You didn't have to do that, Scully. Once I was out, you could have gone." "I know I could have. But you were pretty restless. I didn't want you to wake up alone." Mulder drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Thank you. But you can't baby sit me forever." "No, not forever. Just until you feel better." //And until I'm sure that Mr.C.J. isn't going to decide to drop in for a visit.// "That could be a long while, Scully," Mulder muttered, and the woman shrugged. "I got nothing better to do with my weekends and after work." "You should," Mulder replied quietly. "You should have a life." "Well, I don't have a death, so..." "You know what I mean, Scully. Get out there. Meet a man. Fall in love...both of you. Be happy forevermore." "Those things'll happen, Mulder. When they're supposed to. They will for you to." Mulder shook his head. "That love stuff isn't meant for me, apparently." He gave his partner a heartbreaking smile. "Have you ever known anybody more pathetic and stupid?" "Knock it off, Mulder. This sitting around feeling sorry for yourself is doing you absolutely no good. You're better than this. You're better than someone like Alex Krycek could ever deserve." Scully came and sat by her partner's side. "There's a life out there for you too. But you'll never find it here, hiding out in your apartment. Don't do that, okay, Mulder? Take a little time to brood if you must, but then get out there. Get back to your life." Red-rimmed eyes focused on Scully, and Mulder reached out to caress her jaw. "You're a better friend than I deserve." He leaned in and brushed a chaste kiss across her cheek. "Thank you. But now, I really want you to go home. You've killed half your weekend sitting here with me, and I insist you go and try to enjoy your night before we get back to the grind tomorrow." "Are you going to be okay?" "Eventually." Scully heaved a hard sigh and reached down to slip on her shoes. "I made you a light dinner. It's in the fridge. Eat it. "Then go to bed. You look like you could sleep another ten hours." "I feel like it," Mulder answered, rising to follow Scully to the door. "Thanks again, Scully. You're always there to catch me." //You're afraid that if you let go, you'll fall and there'll be no one at the bottom to catch you. I'm telling you, Fox, I'm there.// "Mulder? Are you all right?" "Yeah." Mulder opened his eyes, which had suddenly snapped shut, and he uttered a shaky sigh. "Yeah, I'm okay." Scully eyed him suspiciously. "Okay. I'll see you in the morning. Get some more sleep." Mulder nodded, watched his partner go, then he shut the door, falling back against it. A couple of deep breaths to steady himself, and he shuffled back to the sofa. Falling onto the cushions, he curled up into as tight a ball as his six-foot frame would allow, and he closed his eyes. Krycek groped for the ringing phone, moaning and dropping it when he saw C.J.'s name and number on the caller ID. //He's going to come over if you don't answer.// "Fuck." He grabbed for the phone and hauled it up to his ear. "What?" "Is that how you answer your phone?" C.J. asked. "Well, I suppose I should be happy that you answered it at all." Silence. "Good evening. How are you?" "Great. In fact, I was just on my way out." "You were?" "Yeah. There's an orgy at my neighbor's down the hall, and I was invited." "Christ. Come on, Alex." "Ask a stupid question..." "Yeah, yeah, my bad. Do any thinking today?" No answer. "How was it waking up this morning without him?" "I don't want to talk about this, C.J. You called to see how I was. You've talked to me. You've seen that I'm still alive. So..." "You sound like shit," C.J. observed. "Did you sleep?" "Like a baby." "My ass." "Why can't you fucking leave me alone?" Krycek moaned. "Do I have to go through the whole friend thing with you again? You have to confront whatever this problem is, Alex." "Don't tell me what I have to do." "Somebody has to." "Listen, C.J. I don't take orders from anyone, friend or not. I appreciate that you care, but nobody is in control of me but me, you got that?" "I understand that, Alex, but..." "I'm glad to hear it," Krycek said, cutting in. "I gotta go now." "Al...Alex?" C.J. hung up and tossed his phone down. "Shit." //Maybe you should go see Fox. You might have better luck.// "Pfff. Yeah, right." Determined to try anyway, C.J. picked up his keys and cell phone and left his apartment. Less than half an hour later, he was pulling up in front of Mulder's building. Checking his watch as he got out of the car, he cursed the late hour. He entered the building, taking three steps at a time, and when he made it up to Mulder's apartment, he took a deep breath and knocked. Mulder's head jerked up from the sofa cushion, and he stared wide-eyed at the door. His heart thrashed in his chest, and his mouth went dry. It couldn't be Scully; she'd only left a little while ago. So... On suddenly weak legs, he rose up and wobbled to the door. Peeking through the security hole, he moaned softly, paused to get his respiration under control, then he opened the door. Leaning in the doorway, C.J. stared at subdued man. "You look as bad as Alex." Mulder stood in the doorway, not allowing the other man to enter. "What do you want, C.J.?" "To talk to you." Still, Mulder didn't move. "You think I could come in for a minute?" "There's nothing to talk about." "You're here brooding, Alex is at his place brooding...I'd say there was plenty to talk about." Mulder lowered his head and shook it slowly. "Fox, please let me in for a bit." Mulder hesitated for a moment then stepped back. C.J. entered, looking around the almost completely dark room. Mulder trudged up ahead of him and dropped down on the couch. "I know what happened. Fox," C.J. whispered. "Something's bugging Alex. And whatever it is, it's affecting his ability to have the kind of relationship with you that he's dying to have." Mulder let out a bitter laugh. "I'll tell you what's bugging him. He wanted me to live with him so he could use me at will, but because there was the slightest bit of a possibility that I might have wanted to change things at some point in the future, that was it. I was all done." "That's not it," C.J. insisted. "Not at all. There's something much bigger eating at him." "Yeah?" Mulder asked, covering his eyes. "What?" "I don't know. He won't tell me. But it's something. Something bad." C.J. stopped for a minute, studying the other man. "He'd tell you, Fox. I know he would...if you went back to him." "Forget it," Fox muttered, drawing his hands away from his face. "I've been a fool for him too many times already." "You've never been a fool as far as Alex was concerned," C.J. promised him. "I know you told him that you love him. He did not make light of that." "I'll bet." "It's true. It hit him like a ton of bricks, Fox. He..." //Don't say it.// "...He uh...he was wasted last night, you know. Completely blitzed...over you. He'd lost you, and it was killing him. It is killing him. He misses you." He didn't know how much more he could say without blurting out the actual words. "Go talk to him, Fox. Please find out what it is that's so bad that it's caused him to screw up what you had." "I don't give a shit what his problem is," Mulder said, trying his best to sound cruel. "You don't mean that, Fox. It's the hurt talking. You wear your pain on the outside, my friend. It's very easy to see." "I'm not going to tell you I'm not hurt," Mulder answered. "It'd be a flat out lie. But I have to get over it. I can't let Alex Krycek fuck up the rest of my life. Now...it's getting late, C.J., and I have to get up for work tomorrow, so if you don't mind?" "All right." C.J. turned toward the door with Mulder following at a distance. He turned to face the other man before turning the knob. "Are you really gonna let this die?" "It's already dead," Mulder rasped, lowering his eyes. "Krycek killed it." "Krycek," C.J. repeated. "Great. Well, you go sleep, Fox...if you can. Have a great day at work tomorrow. Have a great life...alone...without the man you love." Fox shut the door as C.J. moved away from it. Staring at the floor for several seconds, he ran a hand slowly through his hair then shut the light off and walked into his bedroom. a week later The couple moved through the dancing mob and found a little table in a far corner of the club. They ordered a couple of drinks then turned their attention to each other. "You look fabulous tonight," Mick said, "in case I haven't told you." C.J. lowered his head and smiled. "Thank you." He lifted his head and trained a smoldering gaze on his date. "So do you. I've been waiting all week for this." "You thought about me this week?" "How could I not? The things you did to me Monday night were..." C.J. slouched against his chair. "God." Mick chuckled softly. "It had that much of an impact, huh?" "Like you wouldn't believe." The drinks came, and the couple continued to chat and tease, then the conversation turned. "Hey, not to change the subject, but how are things going with Alex?" "Ah, Christ," C.J. moaned. "I don't know what else to do. I tried talking to him once more on Wednesday...I don't even think he heard me." He ran his fingers over the rim of the glass that had just been delivered to him. "He's so fucked up, Mick. And though it's because of Fox, there's more to it than that." "You can't get him to talk about it?" "Not a word. It's so weird to see him like this. All any of us has seen of Alex Krycek is a mysterious, self-assured, arrogant man, who'd probably never known what it was like to not be in control. Fox has turned him inside out and upside down, man." Mick shook his head. "I feel bad. Here you got two smokin' hot guys, out of their minds over each other, and they're going to let what seems to amount to a misunderstanding separate them. You haven't tried talking to Fox since last Sunday?" "No. I thought I'd just leave them both alone for a while. Let 'em brood...have time to really miss each other. Maybe one of them will finally break down and go to the other." "I hope so," Mick sighed. "I'm a romantic sap at heart, and if these two are as in love with each other as we think, they have to work their way through whatever's wrong and be together." He smiled at the other man, who was staring intently at him. "What?" "I'm a romantic too," C.J. murmured. "Something else we have in common." Mick returned the smile and sipped at his drink. "Wanna dance?" C.J. asked, still staring. "Sure." Mick picked up his drink and followed his date out onto the floor. Krycek sat quietly on the end of his bed, staring at the open closet at the end of the room. He hadn't touched or looked at the clothing that hung in it until now. He sat a while longer then rose from the bed and moved cautiously toward the closet. He lifted one hand and stroked the charcoal gray suit for a moment before pushing it aside. The blue shirt that hung beside it was next to be caressed. He loved Fox in blue. It did such wonderful things to those gorgeous, changeable, hazel eyes. His mouth turned into a sad hint of a smile, and he leaned his head against the wooden doorframe. Beautiful, sweet, passionate, sexy Fox Mulder. His for such a short time. But long enough to leave the unbearable ache he now felt in his heart. He walked away from the closet, hand clutched to his chest, and he lay face down on the bed, letting the pain have its way with him. What hurt worse than his own pain was knowing that Fox was feeling the same agony if not more. "I didn't mean to," he whispered into the mattress. "I never meant for you to be hurt. What do I do? I don't know what to do." C.J. had known. To him the answer had been easy. Go to Fox. Open up. Tell him everything. Not that C.J. knew what everything was. If he did, maybe he wouldn't think things were so goddamn, fucking easy. Krycek tried to close his mind to the memory trying to batter its way in, but it won out, plunging him into yet another hellish episode. The study. The spare light almost entirely blotted out by the thick cigarette smoke. That voice, soft and so matter of fact, giving the teenager his instructions. "...And don't let him keep you longer than half an hour. There are three more who'd like the pleasure of your company today, and we've important business to attend to later this evening." Vacant green eyes stared straight ahead as the boy nodded and left the room. He passed down the hall and started upstairs, negotiating the long staircase slowly. Reaching the landing, he turned right and walked silently to the room at the end of the hall. He knocked on the door, and only seconds passed before it opened, and the slack-jowled man he'd known for several years now, leered out at him. "Well," the man said, eyes roving over the boy's naked form. "What a surprise." He stepped aside, and the boy entered the room. "A very pleasant surprise. Not to mention a time saver." He undid his pants and sat on the bed. "You know what to do." Thirty-five minutes later, the boy walked out of the room. Bruised, incredibly sore but dry-eyed, he knocked on another door, and it began again... In his mind, Krycek saw it all. His body felt every violation as if it were happening to him right then. He felt himself grow cold and begin to shiver as the boy limped back to his tiny room at the back of the house and curled up in the corner of his small bed, trembling and staring at nothing at all. Mulder lay sprawled on his sofa, the flickering light from the t.v. washing over his half naked body. His hand was on his cock, his eyes were on the television, but his mind was somewhere else. Alex, so dark and beautiful, walking toward him. The leather duster flowing out behind him like an evil, black river. The heavy thud of his boots, the only sound, and the only color in the torrent of black was the laser green of his eyes. As he drew nearer, Mulder could see an object in his hand. He stopped only a breath away, and he stared silently until Mulder lowered his head. Something smooth and cool slipped around his neck, and he realized that it was his collar. Alex fastened it then clipped a leash on, and he pointed to the floor. Mulder sank to his knees and watched as long fingers undid the leather pants. His mouth watered as Alex slipped a hand inside and withdrew his swollen cock. He needed no instruction. Gingerly, he place a hand on either side of the other man's hips, and he sucked his cock down his throat as far as it would go. Alex started to moan and slowly move his hips, and the fucking phone rang. Mulder snatched his hand away from his cock, groaning harshly, and he picked up the phone. "Hello?" "Mulder? Why do you sound so out of breath?" Upset and incredibly frustrated, he told her the truth before he could censor himself. "I was in the middle of jerking off. Was is it?" "Jesus." The distressed whisper brought him back. "I'm...I'm sorry, Scully. It's just that..." "It's okay, Mulder. Forget it. God knows you could stand to blow off a little steam. I'll uh...I'll let you go." "It's okay. You kinda ruined the mood now anyway, y'know?" "Sorry. I was just calling to ask how you were." "Do you want the generic answer, or do you really want to know?" "I really want to know." "I can't stop thinking about him, Scully. The way he smells, his taste...the feel of him pushing into me..." Scully gritted her teeth and let him go on. "...His naked, hot body pressed up against mine...his arms around me...his voice, so low and velvety, whispering the most obscene things in my ear. I need him, Scully." His voice trembled. "I need him bad." "My God, Mulder, you sound like an addict." "Now you're getting it." "Is there anything I can do to help you over this?" "No." "You can't stay like this, Mulder." "I don't think anything but time is going to help. A whole lot of time." "I don't understand how it is you've become so hooked on him in such a short time." "It's always been there, I think. It's just now that conspiracy's dead, I've got time to think about it." He went quiet for a minute then spoke again. "I never thought I'd say this, but I was better off when the world was in danger from alien invasion." "The end of that stuff doesn't automatically negate everything Krycek's been and done over the years, Mulder. He's still the same low down, manipulative son of a bitch he was before." Mulder said nothing. "But you still want him." "Wanting isn't having," Mulder answered. "And I don't have him. I never will." They talked for a bit longer, then Mulder hung up. He lay in the flickering light, staring up at the ceiling for a while before closing his eyes and resuming his fantasy. four days later Mulder opened up the file that had been sent down from Skinner's office, and he began to read. Scully watched him, waiting to hear what their latest case was. He betrayed no emotion as he slowly closed the file and set it down. "Well? What's this one about?" "Man found dead in his car on fourteenth street. Not an ounce of blood left in his body. None of it found in, on or around the car." "How long had he been there?" "He was found at three a.m." "Do we know who he is or what he was doing there?" "His name is Jim Mathers. He was the manager of a club just a few blocks down the street from where he was found. He had left the club at two, according to the people D.C.P.D. had interviewed." "How the hell does all the blood drop out of a man's body within the timespan of one hour, and there isn't a trace of it to be found?" "Looks like it's our job to figure that out." Mulder remained in his seat, looking down at the file." "Well...guess we should go, huh?" No response. "Mulder? Is there something else?" Mulder took a long breath and let it out. "The club is a gay sex club." Scully sighed heavily. "You gonna be okay? If you'd rather, I can go on my own." "No, I...if you'd rather, I can go do the interviews while you do the autopsy." "As much as I'd prefer not to go at all, I know you feel the same, and I'm not going to let you do it alone. I guess we go together." She gave him a hint of a smile. "We'll just keep looking straight ahead." An hour later, the pair walked into the largely deserted club. There was no sound except for the hum of a vacuum cleaner and the clinking of glasses. A well-dressed man stood behind the bar, talking to another, and when the agents approached, both turned to look at them. The well-dressed man's eyes went from Mulder to Scully then back to Mulder. "Can I help you?" Mulder pulled his badge from the inside breast pocket of his suit and showed it to the man. "I'm special agent Mulder with the FBI, this is agent Scully. We're here investigating the death of a Jim Mathers." "Yeah," the man said softly. "I'm Tai Davis. I own the club." His eyes stayed on Mulder. "Do you know what happened to Jim?" "No. That's why we're here. DC police said that quite a few people in the club last night can confirm that Mr. Mathers didn't leave here until two o'clock." "That's right. Unfortunately, I'm not one of them. I'd left a couple of hours before that. But Shane was here." "Who's Shane?" "An employee. He's here now. I'll call him up, and you can talk to him." Mulder nodded, and the man gave him one more lingering look before turning away. "Okay, he wasn't too obvious, was he?" Scully asked as she and Mulder waited. Mulder said nothing. He looked up and around, surveying his surroundings. This club wasn't as large as the other, but the setup was quite similar. The familiarity of it struck a chord deep within Mulder, dredging up thoughts he'd really rather not have. He closed his eyes for a moment then opened them, and what he saw coming toward him made his heart skip a beat. A well-built man in tight leather. Olive skin, dark hair and eyes. The man more prowled than walked in his direction, and he was reminded of the way Alex moved. He took a deep breath and met the almost black eyes as the man stopped in front of them. "I'm Shane," the man said, directing his words to Mulder. "You asked to speak to me?" "Agents Mulder and Scully. You were here last night when Jim Mathers left?" "I was here. I saw him leave." Shane crossed his arms over his chest, sparing Scully a fleeting glance before refocusing on Mulder. "I heard that all the blood was drained out of his body. Do you know what happened?" "Not yet," Mulder answered. "What was he doing before he left?" Shane shrugged. "He was in the office, filling out the order forms for liquor." "You know this for sure?" Scully asked, watching Shane watching Mulder. "Yeah," Shane answered without looking at her. "I was there too, checking my schedule." "What is it exactly that you do here, Mr....Shane?" Shane took a long, deep breath, his gaze burning into Mulder's. "I'm in customer...relations." "Customer relations," Scully repeated. "Yes. Well...did he leave after that?" Shane glanced her way then his eyes went right back to Mulder. "Yeah. He put his work away, picked up his stuff, and said goodnight." "So, you didn't really see him leave the club?" Mulder asked after he'd cleared his throat. "I didn't see him go out the front door," Shane said, "but he gathered up his things and said goodnight." "I agree it sounds as though he left, but we don't know that for absolutely sure. Do you know of anyone who saw him get into his car and leave?" "No. You're going to have to check around, I guess." Mulder nodded and reached into his pocket. Withdrawing a card, he held it out to the other man. Shane stared for a moment more then reached out to take the card, making sure his fingers brushed Mulder's. "Please contact us if there's anything more you remember." "I certainly will do that, Agent Mulder." Scully couldn't help but think there was more implied in those words than anyone was letting on. Shane stalked away, and Mulder turned to face Scully. "Let's talk to the few people who are here then go down to the police station." A while later, the pair was walking back out into the sunlight. "So, people saw him leave but no one saw him get into his car." "But he did, obviously," Scully said. "Yeah. Question is, did he do it before or after he was exsanguinated?" Scully sighed and walked on. Then she changed the subject. "That Shane was a piece of work, wasn't he?" "What d'you mean?" "He was like...a walking advertisement for sex. And he sure had his eye on you." Mulder said nothing. "I suppose you didn't notice that predatory gleam in his eye." Again, nothing. So, he either thought nothing of it, or he thought plenty of it and was just too uncomfortable to discuss it. Without another word on the subject, the couple continued on to the police station. The elevator door opened, and C.J. made his way down the long hall toward Krycek's apartment. He stopped in front of the door marked ninety-five and knocked softly. When there was no answer, he rang the bell. Before he could call out, the door opened, and Krycek appeared. A blank stare met his eyes, and he stepped in past the other man. "I'm here to get you the hell out of this apartment. Let's go get some dinner." Krycek ignored him and wandered into the living room, looking out the picture window. "Okay, fine. How about take out?" "I already ate." "What'd you have?" "Food." "God, what a pain in the...how about a movie?" No answer. "Couple of hands of gin? Go fish?" Zip. "How've you been sleeping, Alex? From those red rims around your eyes, my guess would be not very well. You haven't contacted him, have you?" "Why would I?" "Oh, I don't know. So you can sleep? Eat? Live again?" And again, nothing. "Go to him, Alex." C.J. turned and walked to the door. "Do it. Before it's too late for one or both of you." Krycek heard the door open and close, but he continued to stare out the window. "You don't get it, do you, C.J.? It's already too late." Mulder lay sprawled over his desk, a half-drunk glass of milk and a barely eaten ham sandwich by his arm. He'd spent every waking moment of the last two days reviewing the information of his last case and come up with absolutely nothing so far. He was exhausted, but he was busy, and that was what he wanted. It was what he needed to do to keep his mind occupied. The ringing cell phone startled him, and his head jerked up off of the desk. Groping around the cluttered surface, he found the phone under some papers, and he pulled it up to his ear. "Mldr." There was a brief silence then a low, husky voice sounded. "Agent Mulder." Mulder froze. "...Yes?" "It's Shane. You remember me?" "Yes, I...do you have some information for me?" "I'm sorry, I don't, but...I've been thinking about you." Mulder shifted uncomfortably. "W-what about?" "Please tell me if I'm out of line, but...I saw something in you the other day. It interested me very much." "...What would that be?" "Call it a need. I think I might be able to help you with it." Mulder said nothing. "Your silence tells me a lot. I'll be at the club Saturday night. If you're interested, put something appropriate on and come down. You can use the back entrance on Welsely." "I...it's late, and I've still got work to do." "I'll let you go, then. Hope to see you on Saturday." There was a soft click, and Mulder took a shuddering breath and placed the phone down. He sat staring at his hands for a long while, then he picked up the paperwork he'd been sleeping on and read it over for the tenth time. Saturday "What, no Mick tonight?" C.J. smirked at the man who'd just come into the room as he readied his tools. "Later. Gotta work to do." "Ah. Well, I gotta go. Got a couple coming in, in a little while." "'Kay. See you later." C.J. finished preparing and, putting his game face on, he let the client in. The man shuffled in, glancing once at the big bald man with the stone face. "Strip," C.J. said, "Then go over there and face the wall." The man followed his instructions, and he looked over the skinny, naked body, shaking his head as he snapped his leather gloves at the wrists. "What's your name?" "Stu." "Stu." Picking up a ball gag and a paddle, he walked over to the man. "Okay, Stuey...let's go over the rules..." Shane sat quietly at the table in the virtually empty employees lounge. The smoke from his cigarette swirled around his head. He flicked the ashes into the tray in front of him then looked up as the door behind him opened. Staring straight ahead, he waited until the person who'd entered stopped behind him, then he rose to his feet and turned around. "So, I wasn't wrong." Mulder stood before the other man, dressed in leather pants and a black tank. He kept his eyes averted and said nothing. "I knew there was something damn sexy lurking under that suit." He back up a step. "Let's go." Mulder looked at him. "Where?" "Into the club." "I..." "It's okay." Shane gave him another smirk. "It's like on that commercial. What happens in the club, stays in the club." Mulder sucked the corner of his lower lip into his mouth and chewed on it thoughtfully. "Anybody ever tell you that you've got an amazing mouth?" Mulder lowered his eyes. "No games, Agent Mulder. I see you in a harness and chains at my feet. Doing everything and anything I tell you to." Shane raised one dark eyebrow. "You up for it?" Mulder's heart pounded. //What are you doing here? Why are you doing this? Leave. He's giving you a chance.Go.// //And do what? Spend another weekend suffocating in that fucking apartment, brooding about what could have been? Jerking off with nothing but your memories and fantasies to keep you warm? It's over. You and Alex are done. Stop the wishing, stop the dreaming. It's not going to change anything.// Mulder lifted his eyes to the other man's, and he nodded. "Say, yes, master." Mulder's lower lip twitched. "Yes...master." Chuckling softly, Shane turned and started toward the door. "Let's go." The couple stood fused together, barely moving to the music. All around them, similar couples writhed against each other, kissing and groping. "I love this song," C.J. murmured, and Mick nodded his agreement as the other man's hand roved up and down his back. "It turns me on." "What doesn't turn you on?" Mick asked, amused. C.J. was about to answer when he felt an urgent tap on his shoulder. He turned around, and the anxious face of his friend Lucas met his gaze. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I thought you'd want to know. I was over at The Board Room, you know, just to see what was going on, and...C.J., Fox was there." C.J. came to an abrupt halt and turned to fully face the man. "What'd you say?" "He's there. And he was with someone." C.J. cocked his head and gave the other man a suspicious look. "What d'you mean, he was with someone?" "You know Shane?" "Not personally, but I've seen him, and I've heard some stuff. He chews men up and spits 'em out, doesn't he?" Staring, Lucas nodded, and C.J.'s jaw dropped. "No. Oh, fuck no." "Oh, fuck yeah. I've seen how he treats subs. Believe me, we don't want Fox around him." C.J. rubbed at his forehead. "I understand, but...he's a big boy, Lucas. I've tried talking to him. He didn't listen. I don't know what else we can do." "We can go over there and drag him out." C.J. looked to Mick in surprise. "Well, we could try." "I don't know, babe. Fox is about as stubborn as Alex. He just might dig in his heels or do something he might not have been planning to do, just to show us that we can't push him around." "Somebody's gotta get him out of there," Lucas fretted, "or he will be doing more than he'd planned...a lot more." "Is this Shane that bad?" Mick asked, winding an arm around C.J.'s waist. "Worse. He doesn't take no for an answer. Or stop, or no more, or I've had enough, or...do you get what I'm saying?" "We gotta get him out of there, C.J.," Mick said. "I mean, I've never met the man, but I can't stand the thought of anyone being taken advantage of or hurt. And if he's a friend of yours, he's gotta be worth the effort. Now, what are we gonna do?" C.J. rested his folded hands on top of his head and thought. "I don't...everything I think of ends with Fox digging himself into a deeper hole. There's only one person I know of who can get him out of there." "Go talk to him, C.J.," Lucas said. I'll go back over there and keep my eye on them." "I'll go with you," Mick told Lucas. He planted a brief kiss on C.J.'s lips then waved him off. "Go. And don't take no for an answer." "Easier said than done," C.J. muttered as he turned and stormed off. "Whoa. Nice pet, Shane. Where'd you get him?" "He just sort of wandered into my yard," Shane murmured, stroking the hair of the man kneeling by his seat. "Shit," the other man grinned. "I'm gonna leave my gate open and see what strays in. Hey, uh...you break him in yet?" "Not yet." "Hmm." The man looked Mulder over. "Feeling generous tonight? Buddy?" "Oh, like you were feeling generous when you had that cute little blonde last week?" "I told ya, he was shy." "Uh huh." "Come on, Shane. I promise, I'll share with you for the next month if you let me in on this one." Mulder forgot all about his aching knees when he heard what Shane's friend had just said. He turned a shocked stare from one man to the other, and Shane turned to him. "Not up for groups, Fox? That's a shame. See, my mom taught me that I should always share my good fortune with others." "Oh, yeah," the other man growled, reaching out to skim Mulder's jaw with his fingers. "We're gonna have a good time, sweet thing." Mulder's eyes closed, and he tried to take a steadying breath. Unbidden, images of Alex came into his mind, and his lower lip began to quiver. //You can't do this. You can't.// //Why not? You're acting like you'd be cheating on him or something. He doesn't want you. He doesn't want you. Fuck him.// "Hey, Shane. Brad. What's up?" "Carly! Where you been, man?" "Here and there. What've you two been up to?" "Nothin' much." The man named Brad pointed to Shane's newest acquisition. "Shane's got a new one." Carl cocked his head and squinted at Mulder, whose head was again bowed. "Something about him looks familiar. Lemme see his face." Shane slipped his fingers under Mulder's jaw and lifted his head. Carl's eyes widened. "I knew he looked familiar." He repeatedly jabbed his finger in Mulder's direction. "You know Alex?" Mulder's heart immediately started to thrash. "Alex, who hangs out at the place on seventh sometimes?" Tall, green eyes...fucking fine?" "That's him. This was his slave. His name is Fox, right?" "Right." Shane raised his eyebrow. "So. What happened, Fox? Why aren't you his any more?" Carl started to laugh. "I was there, man. I couldn't hear everything that was said, but something happened, and Fox here gave Alex a rash of shit. Took his collar off and flung at Alex and stormed out." Shane grinned at Fox. "Really? How interesting. I don't know much about Alex, but I'd heard he was a real bad-ass. Guess all the hype was just that, huh?" Mulder kept his head down and said nothing. "So...you're hard to handle. This should be fun, then. I promise you, Fox, that you will not misbehave with me. You see, it's all a matter of control." Shane looked to the newest arrival. "You got any place to be, Carl?" "Nope. Why?" "I was going to take Fox in the back and get started, and Brad was going to join us. How 'bout it?" Carl perked up. "Sure. Love to." "Cool" Shane ran his fingers through Mulder's hair and tightened them in the thick fringe at the base of his neck. "Hear that, Fox? Looks like we've got us a party." "Christ, not again." Krycek shuffled out of the kitchen and went to the door. Looking through the peephole, he groaned. "What, C.J.?" "Alex, I gotta talk to you." "I'm tired of hearing it, okay? Just go away." "No. You don't understand, Alex. This is important. Really important." Krycek sighed and unlocked the door. As soon as he opened it, C.J. barreled in. "What's so important that you're here on a Saturday night instead of somewhere playing hide the salami with your boyfriend?" "It's Fox." "Dammit, C.J..." "No. You don't get it, Alex. This is bad. He's in trouble." That got Krycek's attention. "What do you mean?" "He's at The Board Room." Krycek's jaws clenched, but he refused to bite. "And?" "He's not alone." Krycek suffered the knife through his heart in silence. "You know that asshole Shane?" "...Yeah?" "He's got his hooks in Fox, Alex." The hair stood up on the back of Krycek's neck, and he fought to stay cool. "What has that got to do with me?" "What do you mean, what's that got to do with you?" "Just that, C.J. What Fox does and who he choses to keep company with is none of my business." "The fuck it isn't! You know Shane's rep. You know what he does!" Krycek's fingers dug into his palms. "Fox is well able to take care of himself. Shane can't do anything to him that he doesn't want him to..." C.J.'s cell phone rang, and he answered it quickly. "...What's going on, Lucas? ...What? Ah, fuck. Okay. Okay. See what you can do to get back there....I'm trying. Yeah. Call me back." C.J. disconnected and gave Krycek a pleading look. "That was Lucas. Shane and two other guys just took Fox into the back. Alex...please. I know you think Fox can take care of himself, and maybe that's true under ordinary circumstances. But against three of them, and in his frame of mind...Alex, whether you believe this or not, he is still way strung out over you. If you don't get down there, something really bad is going to happen." Krycek plunged a hand into his hair and turned away from C.J. He was right. Every day he saw Fox in his mind the way he looked that day at the restaurant. The excruciating pain in those beautiful eyes. He heard the profound hurt in Fox's voice as he told Krycek to leave him alone, and he fled the parking lot. He knew there was no way in hell that Fox was over it, and knew the things that could happen when he wasn't thinking clearly. C.J. jumped back as Krycek whirled around to face him. "Go. I'll be right behind you. Tell your spies that if they let anything happen to him in the meantime, you'll all have me to answer to." Breathing a sigh of relief, C.J. ran out and left Krycek to quickly prepare for his visit to The Board Room. "Hey. Where you two going?" Mick and Lucas stopped short as a mountain of a man stepped in front of them. "We uh...have an appointment." "Yeah?" What're your names?" "We're not on the list," Mick said quickly. "It was sort of a last minute thing." "That right? And who's this appointment with?" "...Shane." "Now I know you're lying. Shane is busy the rest of the night. Get the hell out of here." "Come on," Lucas pleaded. "We just want a little time." He reached into his back pocket, withdrawing his wallet. "What's it worth to you?" "Are you trying to bribe me?" "Maybe. Would it work?" "Last guy who tried to bribe me ended up in traction for a month." "Okay, maybe not." Lucas looked at his anxious companion and motioned to him with a short toss of his head. They moved away from the man and began to whisper to each other. "What the hell are we going to do?" Mick asked. "There's no way we're going to get by him." Lucas pounded at his forehead with his fist as if it would help him think. "Maybe...maybe we can do something out here. Y'know, start some sort of ruckus that'll put a halt to whatever's going on back there." "That's an idea. Okay, what?" "We could start a small fire in the men's room." "Are you nuts?" "All right, never mind. Uh...ah, shit, Alex is gonna skin us if we don't do something." "So, what you're saying is, no matter what we do, we're gonna wind up dead," Mick said. "Yeah, I guess." "Great. Well, let's flip a coin. Heads, we try to get in there and get killed by the mountain over there, or tails, we sit tight, hope for the best and get killed by this Alex if anything happens to Fox." Lucas was about to pull a coin out of his pocket when C.J. arrived. "Oh, God. Thank God." Mick threw himself against C.J. "Tell me he's here." "He's right behind me. What's going on?" "We got a bit of a problem." Lucas pointed toward the entrance to the back room. "You see that?" "Holy Christ, he's huge." "He's sitting down," Mick informed his lover. "Wait till he stands up." "God. He won't let you back there?" "No. You got any ideas?" C.J. drew a deep breath and let it out. "Yeah. You two go distract him, and I'll sneak by." "How?" Lucas asked, staring wide-eyed at the guard. "I don't...pretend to have a fight. Push and shove each other around. Maybe that'll get his attention just long enough for me to slip past." "This ought to be fun," Lucas moaned. "Let's go, Mick." C.J. moved out of sight as the other two came within earshot of the guard. "...You promised me!" "Well, what can I do? I tried! You saw I tried." "You didn't try hard enough! You're nothing but a lying prick!" "Hey, listen. You're hot and all, but I don't need to take that kind of shit from you." "Oh, no?" What're you gonna do about it?" "Let me show you." The big man jumped out of his chair and ambled over to the fighting men. "I've had about enough of you two." He grabbed one then the other by the backs of their necks. "Time to go." As he started dragging Mick and Lucas away, he caught sight of C.J. out of the corner of his eye, making a beeline for the back. "Fuck. He dropped the other two and went after C.J., who'd almost made it to the closed door. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" C.J. was a large man, but he was eclipsed by the moving mass in front of him. Still, he gave off all the attitude he could. "Listen, Kong. A friend of mine is in there, and I have every reason to believe that there are things being done to him that he really doesn't want. Now. Do I go around you, or do I go through you?" Most other people would have been properly intimidated and done exactly what he'd asked. This man apparently didn't care what most other people would have done. Just as he was about to answer C.J.'s challenge, a low, menacing voice sounded behind him. "Boys? Do you think you could take this outside? Fights in the club are bad for business." Sweat prickled and rolled off of every part of Mulder as Shane held the lit candle over his testicles. The hot wax dripped off and hit with a sizzle, and the veins in his neck stood out as he groaned harshly around the too-big ball gag. Don't fight the pain, Fox," Shane cooed. "Embrace it. Let it envelop you." "It's ready, Shane," Carl's voice sounded from somewhere on the other side of the room. "Good. Bring it here." Mulder couldn't turn his head far in the full body restraints, but his eyes found Carl as he came closer. He handed a large needle to Shane, and then what looked like a tiny barbell. "God, this fucking turns me on," Brad panted. "I don't know how much longer I can hold it." Shane chuckled. "So impatient. Okay, you can have him first, but I get a part of your action for the next two months." "You got it. God, hurry up and do it." Mulder's eyes snapped shut, and he screamed around the gag as the needle passed through his left nipple. The barbell followed right after, and Shane screwed the ball in place. "Pretty. You're mine now, Fox," he murmured then flicked at the other nipple. "We'll do your other one next weekend. "Okay, Brad. Do your thing." Cackling, Brad moved in. But before he could lay a hand on Mulder, the door slammed open. Furious green eyes quickly took in the scene, and the man belonging to them emitted an enraged snarl as he went right for Shane. The other two men backed away and tried to flee the room, but C.J. was there, back up by Mick and Lucas. "What the...how'd you..." It was all he could get out before Krycek slammed him brutally against the wall. "You're going to need a new watchdog. That one's going to be out of commission for a while." Shane's eyes widened in fear. "Listen, Alex. I...I didn't..." "Oh, you know who I am? Then you know who you've got here, don't you?" He moved in closer. So close, Shane could feel his breath fanning his mouth. "And you know what I'm going to do to you." Shane stumbled behind Krycek as he was dragged over to the wall. Lucas ran over and helped him cinch the stunned man up. Krycek forced a huge ball gag into his mouth then turned to tend to Mulder while the other three restrained Shane's friends similarly. "Fox," Krycek whispered, his voice breaking when he saw what the men had done to him. "Oh, God." Gently, he removed the gag then released Fox from the restraints. Shivering from cold and shock, Mulder wrapped his arms around himself and lowered his face, unable to look at Krycek. Krycek removed his leather duster and wrapped it around Mulder, tenderly petting the other man's head before turning his full fury on Shane. "Look, Alex," Carl croaked, speaking for his gagged friend. "Shane asked him. He had the chance to leave, and he didn't. You got no call to be pissed of with us." "Shut up," Krycek hissed. Picking up the needle Shane had used on Fox, he whirled around and stalked over to Shane. Not bothering to remove his glove, he grasped the other man's nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Yanking it away from the terrified man's body, he shoved it through. The scream that tore from Shane's throat filled the room, and C.J. turned around quickly to make sure no one from the front of the club had heard. When he was sure no one had, he shut the door and stood in front of it. "How's that feel?" Krycek spat, his eyes blazing with hatred. "You like that motherfucker?" He backhanded the sobbing man so hard, it practically knocked him unconscious. "Isn't this fun?" He stepped back and turned an evil glare on the other two. "I think your friends are jealous. You wanna play too?" "No," Carl whimpered pathetically. "No, please. I'm sorry. I didn't know. I didn't..." "The fuck you didn't," C.J. said. "You've been at our club. You've seen them together." "Is that right?" Krycek asked, looking at the man with new interest. "And you let him do this? You took part in it?" "No! No, I swear. I was just...I didn't do anything." "You were here. That's enough." Krycek showed Shane's friends no mercy. When he was through, they wore similar wounds to that of their cohort, and Carl had passed out from the pain. "Damn, he's an evil bastard," Mick whispered to C.J., who nodded eyes glowing with admiration. "Now you understand what I meant when I told you that he was out of mind in love with Fox?" "He can do this, but he can't say the words to the man?" Mick shook his head. "He's definitely got some issues." When Krycek was finished, he bundled Fox up in his coat, threatened to kill all three of the men he'd just fucked up if they so much as breathed in Fox's direction again, and the group left, exiting through the back. As Krycek gently settled Mulder into his car, he turned to the group and thanked them. "No problem, man," C.J. said as the other two backed away. He handed Mulder's clothes to Krycek. "Just take care of him. And when he's better, get this shit straightened out. Please." Krycek took a long breath and walked around to the driver's side of the car. He climbed inside the small compartment and looked over at Mulder, who sat with his face buried in the leather coat. Even through the leather, Krycek could see that he was still shivering. He turned the heat on, warming the interior to a toasty eighty-five degrees and, running his hand once more over Mulder's head, he started for home. The first thing Mulder felt when he awoke was pain. He moaned softly and rolled onto his right side, drawing his knees up to his chest. He went still as the feeling that he was not alone, struck him. Slowly, his eyes opened, and the first thing his glazed eyes focused on was Alex's face, drawn tight with concern. The memory of what Shane and his friends had done to him came flooding back, and he closed his eyes and buried his face in the pillow...Alex's pillow. He sat up quickly, and the room began to spin. Whimpering aloud, he squeezed his eyes shut again and lifted his hands to his head. The agony of that single action lanced through his left pec, and he felt himself falling. Before he could hit the pillow, he felt warm, strong arms come around him and guide him gently back to the mattress. It took several minutes before he could gather enough strength to speak, and when he did, it was in a soft and breathless voice. "Why am I here?" "Because you needed someone to take care of you, and I didn't think you'd want Scully to know what happened." "How did you know what happened?" "A little birdie told me." Mulder managed to squeeze some bitterness into his tone. "So, you just had to ride in to my rescue." Krycek kept his tone even and emotionless. An enormous task, for all the emotion he was feeling at the moment. "You're welcome." Mulder said nothing. "What were you doing, Fox?" "What'd it look like?" "It looked like you were being reckless yet again because you were hurting, and you didn't know how else to handle the pain. Tell me. Does creating another pain really do anything to cover up the one you already feel?" "Fuck you." Krycek lowered his head and clasped his hands together. "Fox...we need to talk. Not now. Now, you need to rest. Maybe tomorrow you'll feel a little better, and we can..." "Like hell," Mulder muttered again, trying to get up. The sheet fell away from his chest, and Krycek's gaze went to the bar through his red and swollen nipple. His jaw clenched, and his eyes closed as another wave of pain and anger washed over him. He should have killed the fuckers. He should have, he... Mulder looked down at the reminder of his night with Shane and the boys, and a shudder of humiliation ran through him. Unscrewing the ball, he took a deep breath and pulled the bar out. His loud sobs opened Krycek's eyes, and he flew to the bed when he saw what Mulder had done. "Jesus, Fox." He pulled the hardware from Mulder's grip and whipped it across the room. "Lie back." Mulder went down without a fight, and he lay in a trembling heap as Krycek got up and hurried into the bathroom. He returned quickly with an armful of first aid supplies and a glass of water. He tended to the older man's wound as he crooned softly to him. "It's okay. It's gonna be okay. Sit up a little so you can take these painkillers, all right?" Too overwhelmed to put up any more of a struggle, Mulder obeyed then lay back quietly, letting Krycek take care of him. By the time the younger man had finished, he was asleep. Krycek smoothed the sheet around the unconscious man then gathered up his supplies and returned them to the bathroom. Upon his return, he doused all the lights but one, and he sank into the chair he had pulled up to the bed. Watching Mulder until his eyes grew too heavy to remain open any more, he let them close, and he slipped into sleep. "Nnnnnnh." Mulder opened his eyes, blinking in the filtered sunlight, and he groaned again as he shifted in the big bed. His nipple was on fire, his balls were incredibly sore, and he hated himself for being so goddamned fucking stupid last night. Then he remembered where he was. He struggled into a sitting position, and the first thing he saw was not what he'd expected. "C.J." "The one and only. How're you feeling, partner?" "Like death. What're you doing here?" "Keeping an eye on you while Alex goes to the store. All he had in his fridge was a carton of two week old milk and some hairy grapes." "I hope he's not shopping on my account," Mulder murmured. "I won't be staying." "You're not going anywhere until you're better, and you two talk." "Don't start with me, C.J. I'm not in the mood." "Yeah, well, guess what? Neither am I. You know what we went through last night to get you away from that fucker? Do you know what would have happened to you if we hadn't?" Mulder sighed. "Listen, C.J...I'm sorry you got dragged into that. Thank you. I do appreciate what you did for me." "How about Alex? Do you appreciate what he did?" "I guess you were his little birdie." "What?" "Nothing." "You should have seen the look on his face when he found out what was happening. There was murder in his eyes, Fox. I don't know how with it you were last night, but let me tell you what happened. First, he chopped Shane's guard dog down, then he fucked Shane and his friends over worse than they'd done to you. I promised you they won't be piercing anyone else ever again." C.J. stared at Mulder. "And why do you think he did all that? What do you think made him so crazy?" Mulder said nothing, but from the expression on his face, C.J. could tell he was thinking. "Don't leave here without talking to him, Fox. There are things he needs to tell you. I don't know what they are, because he won't open up to me. But I know that it's pretty heavy. And I know it's got something to do with why he said what he did that night at the restaurant. He'll tell you. I know he will. He wants to. It's just really hard for whatever reason. "He's always there for you when you need him, Fox. Be there for him now." Krycek returned home two hours after he had left. Carrying six bags of groceries into the kitchen, he set everything down and went into the bedroom to check on Mulder. He peeked in cautiously and found the older man sitting up and alert and talking to C.J. "How long have you been seeing him?" "A few weeks. I really like him. He's thoughtful, and he's sweet, and he's hot." "Always a help." C.J. smiled. "Yeah. And very caring. He was there last night, you know. He threw in without a thought, and he doesn't even know you." "Thank him for me," Mulder murmured. "And Lucas." "I will. I'd like for you to meet Mick one day. He'd sure like to meet you." Krycek cleared his throat and entered the room, glancing Mulder's way before turning to his friend. "I stopped at that little luncheonette on the corner and picked up some sandwiches if you're hungry. They're in the kitchen with the groceries." "Yeah." C.J. glanced from Mulder to Krycek. "Yeah, I'm starved. Thanks. Fox, you want anything?" Mulder shook his head. "No. Thanks." "Alex?" "Nah." "Okay. Well, I'll be in the kitchen should either of you change your mind." C.J. quickly took his leave, and the two men were alone, neither one looking at the other. "How do you feel?" Krycek croaked softly, looking down at his shoes. "Pretty sore," Mulder answered in an equally raspy voice. "Are you sure you're not hungry? I could..." "I'm not," Mulder cut in. "M-maybe later." Krycek nodded and said nothing. "C.J. told me what you did last night...to Shane and those other guys." Krycek shrugged and looked away. "They're assholes who deserved what they got." There was silence for a while, then Mulder spoke again. "It seems like you're always coming to my rescue. How is that? Why is that?" "Because you seem to always need rescuing, I guess." More silence. "C.J. told me something else." Mulder stopped and shifted uncomfortably. "He said that you had something on your mind...something that has to do with what happened that day at the restaurant, and you really need to get it off your chest...and...and that it was me you needed to tell it to." If C.J. hadn't been such a big help to him, Krycek would have snapped his neck. "Is that true?" "...Yes. But...it's a long, drawn out, complicated story. I need to go get those groceries put away then take care of your wound. Then we'll talk if you're up to it...is that okay?" Mulder nodded and Krycek backed away, slipping out the door as quietly as he'd arrived. Moving into the kitchen, he snapped quietly at C.J. the moment he was through the door. "You couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you?" "Was he as hostile toward you as he has been?" "...No." C.J. folded his arms across his chest and gave Krycek a self-righteous arch of his eyebrows. Krycek said no more. He spun around and began to put the groceries away while C.J. finished his sandwich.When he finished, he made up a tray for Mulder. "Is he hungry?" "No, but I'm hoping the sight of food will tempt him." "What about you?" "I'll eat." "Sometime today would be nice." Sighing heavily, Krycek put the tray down and picked up the sandwich he had bought for himself. Eating half of it, he wrapped the other half back up and raised his hands. "Okay?" "I'm sure it's more than you've been eating, so..." Krycek picked the tray up again, and C.J. pushed away from the table. "I'll get out of your hair now, but I'll call later to see how you're doing." "I'm sure you will...C.J." The other man stopped at the door and turned to face Krycek. "Thanks." Smiling, C.J. walked out, leaving Krycek alone with Mulder and a whole boatload of anxiety. Taking a deep breath, he headed into the bedroom. Mulder was lying on his side, eyes closed, and Krycek thought he might have gone back to sleep until the long, golden-brown lashes lifted, and Mulder's eyes searched him out. "I brought your lunch in case you get hungry." Mulder nodded and watched Krycek set the tray down on the dresser. He struggled to sit up, and Krycek rushed to help him. He allowed the other man's touch, and when he was seated comfortably, Krycek retrieved the things he needed from the bathroom to take care of his wound. Gently, Krycek cleansed the area and examined it before applying the antibiotic ointment. Mulder winced, and he jerked his hand away, apologizing softly. When he finished, he moved everything to the dresser and took a seat in the chair. "Let me know when you want to eat." "Umm...I...I guess I could eat a little right now," Mulder said, and Krycek was up in an instant, getting the tray. He watched the other man eat a third of the sandwich, drink down all of the water with the pills he'd laid beside the glass, then he removed the tray and sat quietly. "Do you want to talk now?" Krycek chewed on his lip for long moments then cleared his throat. "There's something...something I've kept buried for a very long time. Something I'd never planned to tell anyone. Ever. But I never...you weren't in my plans either, Fox. But all of a sudden there you were, and it all got so complicated." Mulder listened quietly. "It's come back to me recently. Since you've been gone, and...I...I can't...I can't........handle it...alone. I can't tell you how tough that is to admit, but...I have to. I don't like my life without you in it, and telling you the absolute truth is my only chance to make you understand." His heart thudding heavily, Mulder waited. And waited. So much time went by in fact, that he thought Krycek had changed his mind. But then the younger man began to speak. And the tone of his voice was so tortured, it frightened Mulder. "I grew up in an orphanage. I came there as an infant. I was told that both my parents died in some kind of accident, and..." He shrugged. "It was the only life I knew. "I had friends. We lived together, played together, went to school together. Thinking back, they were more like my brothers. Anyway, one day the nuns told us that a man was coming. He wanted to adopt a little boy, and three of my friends and I were within the age range he'd specified. We were shocked. No one ever adopted bigger kids. They always went for the babies. "We were excited, and we were scared, and we promised each other that if he picked one of us, the rest of us would be so happy for him, and we'd never, ever lose touch. "The man came later that day. He looked us all over, talked to us a little, but I noticed he took special interest in me. So did the others. They kept telling me that I was the one he was going to pick, but I couldn't let myself believe it. I'd resigned myself to the fact that I'd never be adopted. "Two days later, one of the sisters came and told me to get ready. The man was coming for me that afternoon. I remember standing there long after she left, just staring. My friends flocked all around me, slapping me on the back and congratulating me. They envied me, they'd miss me, but they were so happy. I packed my little rags and was ready when he came. "I walked out the front gate with him, and I remember how my jaw dropped when I saw the long black car waiting at the curb. Not only did I suddenly have a father, but he was rich to boot. "We got into the car, and my excitement turned into discomfort. He didn't talk. Didn't say a word to me. He just sat there, puffing on his cigarette and staring at me. When we got to his house, he got out of the car first and finally talked. He welcomed me home and led me up to the front door. It was such a big place. So quiet. Like there was nobody else there. But a few minutes after we walked in, a man in a dark suit appeared. My new 'father' told him to show me to my room, get me settled, then bring me to his study. "I remember the stench of smoke hitting me in the face when I opened the door and walked in to that room. He was there sitting behind this big desk. He put that cigarette out, lit up another one and told me to sit down. "The other man left, and he asked me if I was hungry. I told him I was, a little, and he said I could get something to eat in the kitchen when he was through talking to me. For the next hour at least, he gave me a period of instruction on my duties. By the time he finished, I felt more like I was there as hired help than a son." "I spent my days alone in a classroom with an impatient teacher, who believed strongly in corporal punishment as a means of encouraging me to learn. When my homework was done, I helped out in the kitchen, mucked out the horse stalls, raked leaves...then..." Mulder listened intently, afraid of what was to come. "...One day he called me into his study. Said we were going to have company. Some men were coming from out of town. A couple from out of the country. He said..." Krycek stopped and closed his eyes. His face stretched taut with pain, he took a stuttering breath. "My...m-my job while they were there was to.......entertain them." The last couple of words were spoken with barely restrained anguish, and Mulder felt his insides contract. He wanted to stop Alex right there. Spare him the pain of continuing, but he knew it wouldn't have been the right thing to do. Painful as it was, Alex needed to get it out. "I didn't know what that meant. He didn't explain it to me. But I found out soon after they arrived." Mulder clenched his hands together tightly and bowed his head. Krycek got out of his chair and walked stiffly to the window. He stared out into the cheerful daylight as he continued. "I was just ten years old when I had my first painful lesson in sex." Mulder gasped softly, and his stomach turned at the sickening thought. "They...took turns with me," Krycek said. "They came into the room one at a time, and they...I was scared and confused and in so much pain. They...they tore me up...they made me bleed. And when they were done with me, they just left me there. No one came to comfort me and carry me back to my room. No one apologized, and no one cleaned me up or took care of me. "I lay on the floor...in the dark, for a long time. I remember I was so cold, but I couldn't move. Nothing worked. Finally, I was able to sit up. I pulled my clothes around me and tried to get to my feet." Krycek squeezed his eyes shut. "It hurt so much. I'd never felt pain like that. I...dragged myself down to the small bathroom off of my bedroom and ran hot water in the tub. I didn't add any cold water. I remember the way it scalded my skin when I got in, but I didn't care. I had to get the smell of them off...the feel of them on me...in me. "I stayed in the tub, scrubbing myself almost raw until the water got cold. Then I crawled into bed and stayed there. I was left alone all the next day, but the night after that, I was sent for. The smoker told me that the men were leaving the next day, and they wanted to...to say good-bye to me. I cried. I begged him not to make me go to them. I told him that they'd been mean to me, and they'd hurt me. He just sat there with that smoke swirling all around him. I refused to go, and he insisted. He said he'd certainly paid enough for me, and I'd damn well do what he wanted...he didn't adopt me, he...bought me. He laid down some cash, and they let him have me." It took him a moment to get past that, then he continued. "He had me dragged down to the basement. I was locked down there in the pitch blackness. I could...I could hear things skittering around in the dark. I was so scared. I screamed until my throat was raw. I pounded and clawed at the door. No one came." It was as if he'd been transformed. The self-assured, arrogant, ill-tempered son of a bitch known to most was gone. His tone, his curled posture, his face...everything about him spoke to the very real pain he'd suffered as a young, terrified boy. It was enough to make Mulder weep, and he did. But Alex wasn't finished with his story. And Mulder was determined to see it to its bitter end. "I don't know how long I was down there. Hard to keep track of time when everything's so dark. I know it was the same night when they let me up and took me back to his study. He asked me if I was ready to behave, and I had to chose. Spend a little time in the company of the old men or spend the rest of the night in the basement with the rats. "I don't know, I...I guess it was something about the unknown...I couldn't go back down there. I couldn't. "They were waiting for me. It hurt even worse this time, because I was still so messed up from the first night....they left in the morning, and I thought that was it. I thought I'd never have to do that again." Krycek leaned his head up against the window and stared straight ahead. "Kids don't think too far ahead, you know?" "How long did it go on?" Mulder asked, afraid to know. "Until I was nineteen." Mulder's mouth dropped open on an anguished gasp, and he buried his face in his hands. "He never touched me, you know. To this day I don't know why. But his friends...he had a lot of them, and they took full advantage of his hospitality...every last one of them. Sometimes another boy would come with one of them. They'd make us do things to each other while they watched. That didn't happen too often. "The guests varied. It wasn't the same ones all the time except for this one. Fat, sweaty man. After a few visits, he made me suck his cock. He showed no mercy to me. He held me by my hair and made me take it all. I couldn't breathe, and I kept gagging..." He was as close to crying as he'd been since beginning his story. "Then he pulled out of my mouth and fucked me hard. He...he wanted..." Krycek slid his hands up through his hair, and his fingers clenched in the strands. "...He wanted me to tell him that I...I...that I l-loved...him while he was fucking me. I had to do it or he'd hurt me even worse. "As horrible as it was...being touched by all those men, that was the worst. Having to tell that bastard that I love...loved him. No amount of hot water or scrubbing could make that go away. "The next time he came, I was about twelve. I refused to go to his room, and the smoker ordered me to the basement. It took two men to get me there, and they didn't have an easy time of it. I fought them all the way. Finally, one of them backhanded me. Blood filled my mouth, and things went a little dark for a minute. They dragged me into the basement, and I spent the night there, curled up in a damp corner, afraid to move, listening to the things that lived down there. "The smoker's men pulled me out in the morning, waited while I cleaned up then escorted me to the man's room. I spent the whole morning there getting fucked every way imaginable." Krycek's eyes took on a glassy, distant appearance, and he was silent for a while before going on. "I said it went on until I was nineteen. It all stopped abruptly then...because the last time he visited, and I was forced to go to his room...I killed him." Mulder's head snapped up, and he cast a shocked stared at the other man. "I hadn't planned it," Alex whispered. "It just...happened. I mean...it was no accident. I meant to do it. He'd finished with me...and he was lying there, face down. This big, sweaty lump on the couch in the meeting room. I walked over to the desk, and there was this letter opener. I picked it up and went back to him. I remember being so calm about it. I...raised my arm above my head, and I...I used all my strength, and I stabbed him. He screamed only once. I stabbed him again. And again. There was blood everywhere. All over him, all over me. I put the letter opener down and walked out. "Someone found me walking down the hall, naked and bloody, and...the next thing I knew I was standing in the shower in my bathroom...watching the red water go down the drain. When I was clean and dressed, I was taken up to the smoker's study. I felt no fear, in fact...I felt nothing. I just sat down and stared at him. He smoked almost a whole cigarette before he said anything to me. And when he did, he never mentioned his friend. He just told me that if I wanted to learn to kill more efficiently, he could teach me. And if I learned well, I'd never have to go back to taking care of his friends again." One sable eyebrow arched upward. "And I never did." Krycek lowered his head and went silent, and Mulder stared at him from the bed. Slowly, painfully, he climbed down and walked over to where Krycek stood. Both hands came up to rest gently on the younger man's shoulders, and he struggled to find something to say. Failing miserably, he stood there in silence. The gentleness of Mulder's touch reached Krycek and pulled him back to the present. "I don't expect forgiveness," he said softly to the man at his back. "I don't expect you to say to everything's okay now. I just...I just hoped you'd understand that it wasn't you. It was me. I thought I was in control. Finally and completely. I didn't know. I...I didn't know that sixteen years after it had stopped, they were still fucking me...or maybe I knew and I just let it happen...because if I admitted to it, it'd mean I was admitting to being weak and out of control. And that'd make me someone other than the Alex Krycek everybody knows. It'd make me unrecognizable...a fraud." "You haven't turned into someone completely different for me. I still know who you are," Mulder murmured. "It's just that now I know more of you." "After you left, C.J. kept after me," Krycek said. "He didn't know any specifics, but he knew something was eating at me. And he kept on me and kept on me, begging me to let you in. I stayed in denial. Until one day it just...it found its way to the surface. I'd worked so hard at keeping it buried, but...it was excruciating...every bit as much as when I was a kid. "C.J. saw me in some pretty bad states of mind. And still I couldn't unload. Yesterday was the bash upside the head I needed, I guess." "Why yesterday?" Mulder asked, his voice low. Back still to Mulder, Krycek drew a long, shaky breath. "I really fucked things up that day at the restaurant. I hurt you bad. And you were still carrying all that around with you. You wouldn't have ended up in that situation with Shane if you were still here, happy with me. It was because of me. The things I wouldn't talk about or even admit to that pushed you away. I had to try and make it right. Even if it was too late." Mulder said nothing. "I won't delude myself into thinking that now that I've talked about it, all these years of shit'll magically disappear. I have a long way to go with this," Krycek said to the window. "I don't know how well I'll do. But I've made a start, now. And that's something, I guess." Mulder stood quietly for quite a while, hands still resting on Krycek's shoulders. Then they moved downward, stroking gently over his upper back before he wound his arms around the younger man's chest. Wrapped in the warmth of a tender embrace, Krycek felt Mulder's head come to rest on his shoulder, and he closed his eyes. MMCUSN@aol.com Go to Part 11

Nobody Has to Know By Aries for Peja's "I saw what you did last night" challenge X-Files M/? Rated NC-17 for m/m sexual situations Disclaimer: Mulder belongs to Chris Carter. Oh, EWW! Uh...you know what I mean Summary: Someone saw Mulder do something bad. But Mulder doesn't know what. Archive at all the usual places. If anyone else wants it, just ask! Feedback: I'm just getting over an allergic reaction to a sugar substitute that I tried this morning, so be nice to me! MMCUSN@aol.com http://denofsin.slashcity.net/aries/ariestitle.html https://www.squidge.org/terma/aries/aries.htm back to top

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