"If you don't mind, I see that you've got all these
bits and bobs in your hair," Murtogg, despite himself,
was taken in by the dark-eyed man's persona. That he
was a pirate was almost a certified fact, he'd admitted
to wanting to commandeer a ship, but most pirates he
met were trying to kill him. This one seemed like he'd
just want to go have a drink. "Why is that?"
Jack eyed him for a second and suppressed a smile.
The longer he could keep these two entertained, the
more contact they had, the more likely they would
learn to _like_ him. And people who _liked_ Jack
Sparrow were most helpful. He looked around as if
checking to see that they were alone. He was
encouraged to see the lobsters look about too. "Either
of you fine gentlemen ever been to Fiji?"
"No," The chunkier one said and the skinnier one
shook his head in response.
"Well," Jack said, "On that little island in the
south of the Pacific, me an' my former crew found
ourselves in the presence of a mos' delightful but
perplexin' situation. Ye know what Amazons are, lads?"
Both shook their heads and Jack leaned forward,
indicating that they should get closer. "Amazons are
women, not just any ordinary women but incredibly
beautiful women an' not just any incredibly beautiful
women but incredibly beautiful women who have sharp,
pointy weapons. An' they don't much like the male of
the species. In fact, they don't have but one use for
men, they eat them.
Jack sat back and both redcoats stared at him,
their eyes wide. He let them absorb that then resumed
his tale. "So's me and a party of my men go ashore to
find fresh water and fruit. Me, Bootstrap Bill, Long
John Parrish and One-eyed Pete, all fine lads an� all
but me with one little peccadillo, they all fancied the
lads more than the girls. So we get ashore and start
searchin'. Find the fresh water and are fillin� some
barrels when there's this cry, kind of a
'yayayayayayaya' sound. All of a sudden, the air is
full of arrows flyin' down, stickin� in the ground,
stickin' in poor ol' Pete, God rest his soul, he looked
like a hedgehog when they were done wi' him. Another
got ol' Long John in-well, in his namesake. Made him a
eunuch, poor ol' John. Tragedy, really.
Jack paused, rubbing his throat daintily. "Ye
wouldn't happen to have a bit o' rum about, would ye?
It's rather dry tellin' a tale without rum."
"Might be some below. I'll go check," Murtogg said
and scurried off.
"What's up at the fort?" Jack asked casually.
"Wedding? Funeral? Christening?"
"Promotion ceremony," Mullroy said. "Captain
Norrington's been promoted to Commodore."
"Commodore? What happened to the old one?"
Mullroy shrugged. "Think he got promoted."
"Hmmm," Jack said. Murtogg returned and passed a
brown bottle to him. Jack grinned broadly. "Thank ye.
Now, that's what hits the spot."
He raised the bottle and took several swallows.
"Now, where was I?"
"Amazons," said Mullroy.
"Porcupine Pete," said Murtogg.
"Ah, yes," Jack cast a glance up at the fort to see
a young lady and an officer standing at the parapet.
He narrowed his eyes briefly and hoped the girl fell
to the starboard when she passed out. The way she was
fanning herself, she obviously was not breathing well.
"So they capture me an' Bootstrap, take us back to
their village. Me an' Bootstrap, we're pretty much
convinced we're about to be et fer dinner when the
isle starts t' shake and the volcano starts t' rumble.
So the lead Amazon she comes t me an' Bootstrap an'
says 'If ye can sleep wi' everyone of us afore dawn
an' make us, virgins all, squeal, we won't throw ye in
the volcano.' What could we say? We made a valiant
effort but there was 300 of them and only 2 of us, an'
Bootstrap couldn't do but one or two per hour.
Jack drank down a few more swallows of the rum.
"Well, when the dawn's rays peeked over the top o' the
volcano, there was 3 girls left. They grabbed us an'
carried us up the hill to the top. We was standin'
there and they was gettin' ready to toss us in when I
says to their leader, 'Look, if'n we can make them
last 3 girls squeal right here, right now, what'll ye
do?' And she says, 'If'n you can do that, we jus'
might let ye go.' So, I grabbed Bootstrap and planted
on him the biggest, wettest kiss ye ever saw pass
'tween two blokes an' all 300 of 'em squealed at once.
Them gals was so pleased, they let us go an' then'.'
"And then?" prompted Murtogg.
"An' then they made me their chief,' Jack replied
then heard the sound of a body hitting the water.