Work Text:
My boss is a bigger tosser than your boss
By Lilithangel
“Stupid poufy hair.”
“Yep.”
“Gay clothing choices.”
“Period military, 1940’s RAF.”
“You win that one.”
“Scull.”
“Christ… couldn’t we have got better booze?”
“Nope. He’ll sleep with anything attractive enough, gender and species not withstanding.”
“Really? Mine’s a bloody eunuch who could lose his soul in a moment of happy and go all evil guy on the universe.”
“I’ll give you that one just for the eunuch bit. God… it doesn’t get any better the more you drink of it either.”
“Bullying, secretive tit who never lets you know what’s going on or what he’s planning. Thinks he can handle everything on his own and always making decisions for you because he knows best, wanker.”
“Never tells you the whole story, always playing the mysterious ‘The twenty first century is when it all changes and you’ve got to be ready’ card without telling us what changes or how to be ready, tosser.”
“Spends his days sulking and brooding in his office about how terrible his existence is and how heavy his stupid soul is to bear.”
“Mine likes to brood on rooftops about god knows what. I think it’s because he likes the way his coat swishes in the wind.”
“Call it a tie?”
“Yep. Bottoms up.”
“Bastard’s had every woman I’ve ever loved.”
“Mine took my fiancé’s brain and put it in a cool store.”
“Serious?”
“Serious. Fuck it, we’re both drinking for that one.”
“All that and you stay loyal to them follow them to hell and back because he manages to make you believe in him.”
“Everything seems brighter and he shows you a world you never knew existed, sucks you in so you can never leave.”
“Bastards.”
“Wankers.”
“Tossers.”
“Prats.”
“Why the hell are we still talking about them?”
“I have no idea.”
“Let’s go beat something up.”
END