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Reviewer: ulyferal (Signed)
04/09/2011 11:59 AM

It was confusing at first until you get further in the chapter to learn it was now 300 years later.  To me, this should have been earlier to bridge the two chapters better but that's just my opinion.

You made a small error here: ... that Caleb only join us on full moons,.... you meant it to be Caspian, I'm sure.

Chapter 2
Reviewer: ulyferal (Signed)
04/09/2011 11:08 AM

You have unintentionally failed to finish this chapter.  Take a look at the last line......it's hanging incomplete. 

 

I am enjoying your story. It's certainly a different twist.

Chapter 1


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