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Latin from Manhattan asks,

I'm fascinated by the term and the concept of "le petit mort", where someone becomes so overwhelmed by the pleasure of sex that he/she loses consciousness. Is this more common among men or women? I'm planning to write a ST slash starring Picard/Riker where Picard succumbs to "le petit mort" when he climaxes, causing Riker to panic and think he's killed him. Since Picard has an artificial heart, would the symptoms of heart failure be similar to "le petit mort" (hence Riker's panic)? How long does the person remain unconscious? Would CPR help revive them, or would smelling salts do? How often DO people die of heart failure during sex, anyway? Are they usually older people with a previous history of heart trouble? Or younger people cheating on their spouses or lovers? (I understand guilt plays a big part in coital heart failure).


Dear Latin from Manhattan,

While "le petit mort" literally translates as "the little death", this is really a metaphorical and literary conceit. The experience of orgasm is being compared to that of dying - it doesn't really happen.

While an orgasm can be intense, and some people may momentarily "gray out" during or afterwards, I have never heard of someone actually losing consciousness. I have known men that will immediately afterwards roll over and fall asleep like the dead... if the dead could snore. If they do pass out, it's much more likely to be the fault of alcohol, rather than "le petit mort".

I don't know, and couldn't find, any statistics on heart failure during sex that looked trustworthy. But I would assume that if a person were to actually suffer a cardiac event during sex, smelling salts wouldn't do much good.

I've also never heard that guilt plays any part in coital heart failure - this sounds like an urban legend to me, or a modern morality lesson. If a person's heart is strong, guilt won't make it any weaker. Stress is indeed a contributing factor in many heart attacks - but as a long-term thing, slowly weakening the heart and in general worsening the health. Yes, a person who's heart is already weak can be shocked into a heart attack, but I don't think the "guilt" of cheating on a spouse would have that kind of immediate jolting effect.

-- Minotaur




Dramatic asks,

I was wondering, when I guy has sex the first time and he's on the bottom, how much would it hurt when the other man enters him? Would it tear skin, cause bleeding at all? Who would get the orgasm first, the one on top or bottom? I suppose top, but...


Dear Dramatic,

The pain a guy feels the first time he bottoms depends on a bunch of factors. How comfortable is he with the idea of getting fucked? How comfortable is he with the other guy? How scared is he? How horny? How drunk? All these, and more, will have a profound effect on how much pain he feels - if any.

If he's comfortable, and turned on, and relaxed, he may feel no pain at all. If he's tense, or nervous, or conflicted about the act, he may feel too much pain to complete the act.

It's not like a woman's first time - where the hymen gets broken. There is no *physical* reason why a guy can't enjoy his first experience of anal sex - it's mostly psychological. The more tense a guy is, the less his anal sphincter muscles will be able to relax and allow penetration. The more relaxed he is, the more control he'll have over his own body, and the easier it will be.

As for the orgasm, there's no way to tell who will pop first. It depends on what's going on. Is the bottom enjoying himself? Is the top prone to pop quickly, or can he last all night? Too many factors to predict with any accuracy

-- Minotaur




S Joisan asks,

What is the connection between the anus and the penis? If the anus is stimulated does it result in stimulation of the penis or vice versa, are the two entirely seperate? Would a some pain in anul sex reslut in complete loss of erection or could the erection be maintained despite a less than enjoyable expierence?


Dear S Joisan,

There is no direct, physical connection between the anus and the penis. What makes anal sex fun for guys is the stimulation of the prostate gland. There is a connection between the prostate and the penis, but it has more to do with the production of semen than with getting or maintaining an erection. Stimulation of the prostate can be extremely pleasurable - though doctors aren't quite sure why...

As for emotional or psychological connections, that depends on the person. Most of the stuff that "turns you on" is mental rather than physical. The brain is the largest erogenous zone.. much more sensitive than mere flesh.

Some guys loose their erections when being penetrated, then get it back as they relax and start getting pleasure from getting fucked. Other guys loose it and stay "soft" while getting fucked - but still get pleasure from the act, and can even orgasm/ejaculate while soft. Others get hard and stay hard throughout. It depends on the individual guy's personality and physiological makeup.

-- Minotaur




Laura Mann asks,

I've recently read The Charioteer, by Mary Renault. It is a very tastefully written book, so I feel like a bit of a pervert for thinking about this, but I would really like to know what the protagonists actually _do_ in bed.

First of all, there is the general question of what two soldiers, or two public-school boys, might have been willing to do together, back in the forties. (I'm guessing they wouldn't be so different from modern soldiers or schoolboys.) But then it gets a bit more complicated.

You see, the main character, Laurie Odell, has had his knee shot off at Dunkirk, and he can no longer bend it very far or put his full weight on it for long. In fact, he has to be very careful of that leg, at all times. In a sexual context, this seems quite incredibly awkward, unless perhaps poor Laurie chooses to spend the entire time stretched out passively on some flattish surface.

That doesn't sound like all that much fun to me. Can he play any active part at all? What do you think?


Dear Laura Mann,

I haven't read The Charioteer in many years, and have at best a vague memory of it. The 40's were a different time, especially in England. I do know that in the US in that time period, oral sex was much more common than anal. And the passive/aggressive roles were much more clearly deliniated - you were either a queen (bottom) or trade (top).

For a better understanding of that time, at least in the US, I'd highly recommend Ethan Mordden's "How Long Has This Been Going On". He's a great author, and this is one of his best books.

Now, as to Odell's physical handicap. With a bad leg, he would probably be more comfortable stretched out on some flattish surface, but that doesn't mean he has to be passive. The other guy would have to do most of the physical work, but Odell could easily be directing the action. He could have his lover sit on his dick, or be lying on his good side for some spooning action, or any of a number of other positions. Depending on how damaged the leg is, he could even be on top in a standard missionary position (puttin all his weight on the good knee, with the bad one just sort of stretched out behind him). I'd think that the sex would be awkward at first... but that they'd find ways to do the things they wanted to.

-- Minotaur