Series: Moments Sacred and Profane - Season Two

Title: MSP22: Alembic

Author: Mice

Email: just_us_mice@yahoo.com

Category: Stargate: Atlantis, McKay/Beckett

Warnings: slash, angst, h/c, mention of oc death

Spoilers: season one, Intruder

Rating: NC17

Summary: Back in Atlantis, Rodney and Carson have unresolved issues to face.

Archive: If it's on your list, you can archive it. If it isn't and you'd like it, just let me know where you're putting it.

Feedback: Feed me, Seymour.

Website: Mice's Hole in the Wall http://www.squidge.org/mice

Mirror: http://mice.inkpress.org

Disclaimer: Not mine. They belong to many other people. But if they were mine, they'd be having very interesting adventures.

Author's Notes: Beauteous beta by Lucia Tanaka, Zortified, Pas, DarkCygnet, Heuradys and the usual gang of lunatics known as the Scribas Smutters.

~~~

Someone who keeps aloof from suffering

is not a lover. I choose your love

above all else.

~~Sanai trans by Coleman Barks~~

Travel on the Daedalus had at once been easier and far more dangerous than Carson ever expected.

Eighteen days in hyperspace had left him on edge, and Rodney and Colonel Sheppard's brush with radiation poisoning hadn't made him feel any better. He faced Elizabeth Weir's quiet gaze, his knuckles whitening on the arm of the chair he sat in. "They may seem fine, Elizabeth, but at the dose they both got? They're essentially just in anastasis right now. Either or both of them could become quite ill again within a week or two. It's not a large chance, but death is also a possibility."

"You mean Rodney's not just being paranoid?" She sat back in her chair, at home again in her office above the Gateroom. Her fingers were steepled and she gave Carson a serious, worried look.

"Aye," Carson said. He sighed. "That wee alien, Hermiod, was quite right that they could easily have taken a fatal dose in the F-302. Rodney's always monitored his exposure for a reason."

"When will we know for certain if they'll be all right?" She leaned forward, lips pursed in an uneasy frown.

"If they get ill again within the next two weeks, it'll take them a while to recover. If they're still alive at the end of the month, they're most likely safe and won't have a relapse. Symptoms to watch for would include a general malaise, anorexia, nausea, and fatigue. Their immune systems are like to be compromised as well, so I'd recommend that neither of them be sent offworld unnecessarily before that time is up."

"Still," Elizabeth said, "you said it was a small chance."

Carson shook his head. "Aye, but even ten percent is a risk."

"So them being sick on the Daedalus wasn't the end of this." She looked upset.

"Not likely," he told her. His stomach hurt. Carson hated not knowing.

"Do they know?" she asked.

"Aye. I've already discussed it with them. That's why Rodney's been so out of sorts since the incident. It's no' just the deaths, though he took them pretty hard as well." Rodney had known Lindstrom before, had worked with him at Area 52 before he'd been exiled to Siberia. With all the other losses of the last year, that one had hurt badly; they'd not even made it to Atlantis before people began to die.

Carson sagged in the chair, not wanting to think about the possibilities. Being home on Earth had been so good, and now this had happened. He wondered if he and Rodney would survive the year at all -- or if Rodney would survive the next month.

"I'm sure they'll be all right, Carson," Elizabeth said. She reached across her desk and took his hand. "Ten percent isn't that much. I know it's a larger chance than you'd like, but I think I'd prefer to look at it as the both of them having a ninety percent chance of surviving this mess." She looked him in the eyes. "I insist on being at the wedding." She smiled at him, hopeful, and he couldn't help letting a wee smile creak through his worry.

He squeezed her hand, thankful for her optimism and her kindness. "It's hard," he said, "to have something like this happen so soon on the heels of such a happy visit home. At least we knew about the exposure as it was happening and could take steps to decontaminate them and deal with their situation right away."

"I do have some news that might offer a little bit of cheer," she said.

"Oh?" He tilted his head, wondering what it might be.

Elizabeth smiled. "Dr. Zelenka reports that a spa was found in one of the towers. It's apparently quite spectacular. The botanists have been working on cultivating the park area that the spa is built around, but even without a lot of plant growth at the moment, it's likely to be a very relaxing resource for you, and for John and Rodney."

Carson leaned back, a bit surprised. "Oh, aye. It would at that. Keeping their stress levels lowered until we're sure they're well should help a bit, at least."

"I hope it'll help your stress levels as well," she said, patting his hand before she let it go.

"I should get on with unpacking," Carson said, rising from the chair. "I've no idea what Rodney arranged to have shipped back to our quarters, and I'm almost afraid to find out what the place'll look like when I get there."

Elizabeth nodded. "Right. Oh, and tell Rodney that Dr. Kavanagh is leaving on the Daedalus as soon as she returns to Earth. I'm sure he'll find that as much a relief as I do."

Carson grinned. "Oh, that's certain to perk him up a bit."

"He said something about a mission to 'planet mudhole' being the last straw." She shrugged.

"They sent him offworld?" Carson raised an eyebrow.

"Apparently so. I'll have to congratulate Teyla and Dr. Zelenka for getting rid of our problem child for us." She shook her head. "Now, go ahead and get unpacked before Rodney papers your walls with all his diplomas and awards."

Carson nodded, still smiling a bit. "I'll do that." He rose. "Have a good evening, Elizabeth."

"They'll be all right," Elizabeth said, rising and walking to her office door with him.

"I hope you're right," Carson said. He sighed and hurried off to his flat. People along the way greeted him with smiles and waves and he responded in kind. It was lovely to be home again, despite the worries. He was looking forward to getting back to work. In fact, he'd had a few ideas during the eighteen days of travel on the Daedalus that he wanted to look into that might help deal with their Wraith problems.

Rodney was poking about in boxes when he got there. "Oh, Carson," he said, looking up from the one he was buried in up to his elbows. "I brought a bunch of my diplomas and awards for the walls. Where do you think they'd look best?"

"In your office, love," Carson told him. "Mum sent stuff along for both of us as well, you know, so don't be getting too many redecorating ideas just yet."

"Decoration is for lesser intellects than mine. None of this is 'decoration.' It's essential recognition of my genius." Rodney grinned and dug back into the box.

"Right enough, Rodney," Carson said. "Personally, I'd just as soon have a few photos up of the family." He went to his suitcase and opened it, pulling out two framed photos. One was the picture that had been on his desk in his room at Mum's, with himself, his parents, and Dougal. The other was a new, larger photo of himself and Rodney with Mum and Dougal. He set them both on the table next to his side of the bed. "Oh, that's better," he said softly.

Opening a box of his own, he pulled out his fiddle, which had been stored carefully in its case at the top, packed in woolen jumpers and blankets. He took out the case and looked at it for a moment, wondering where the best place to put it would be.

"Carson?"

Carson turned to look at Rodney. "Yes, love?" Rodney had an unusual expression on his face, one Carson couldn't quite decipher.

"You... you brought your violin."

He nodded. "It's a fiddle, not a violin, but aye. Are you all right?"

"I... yeah. Yeah, I'm okay. Fiddles and violins are the same thing, Carson. I just... does that mean you'll play it for me sometime?" Rodney's expression was inscrutable, his voice a little shaky.

"If you want," Carson said. "And the difference between a fiddle and a violin is what you do with it. Is this about the piano again, mo leannan?"

Rodney sat on the floor next to his box. "Um. I don't know. Maybe. I'm not sure."

Carson set the fiddle down on the bed and went over to sit next to Rodney on the floor. He slipped an arm around him. "Are you feeling well?" he asked. "I'm concerned about you."

Rodney nodded. "Trust me. If I start feeling the effects of the radiation again, you'll be the second person to know."

Carson sighed and leaned into Rodney's side. "It's getting late already," he said. "Perhaps we should save this for tomorrow, after work?"

Rodney caressed Carson's back with one hand, shaking his head. "I don't know." He let his head rest against Carson's. "Maybe."

"Elizabeth said Kavanagh's leaving on the Daedalus as soon as she's ready to start back to Earth." Carson smiled.

Rodney picked up his head and looked at him, excited. "Really? I mean, she's not just saying that to cheer me up, right?"

"I sincerely doubt it. She's just as relieved as you are." He nuzzled Rodney's cheek. His face was peeling a wee bit already, despite the moisturizer. He hoped that would be all there was to it.

"At least the lab will be a little quieter. He was always whining." Rodney turned his face to Carson's and kissed him softly. "But you're here. You came back with me."

"I promised I would." Carson pulled Rodney against him and they lay back on the floor. It wasn't comfortable, but it was home. "I'm here for as long as you'll have me."

***

Rodney smiled, cradled against Carson on the floor. He considered lodging a complaint about his back, but he was just too glad to be home to really care, at least for now. In ten minutes, maybe, things would be different.

He stared at the violin case on the bed. There were such hidden depths in Carson sometimes. The music was just one aspect of it, but seeing him around his family had shown Rodney another side to the man that he'd never suspected.

It was like that part of Carson lived in an entirely different world than Rodney had ever seen. It wasn't one he'd ever expected to be included in. Family was a mystery to him, and it wasn't just the language differences. The shock had come in how accepted Rodney had felt, despite Carson's boozy uncle and some of the other older neanderthals.

His fingers traced patterns on Carson's chest as he thought about Dougal and Carson's mother. They grinned at him from the photos Carson had placed on the bedside table. Strange as it seemed, after he got past the initial discomfort, calling her Mum hadn't been so bad. She certainly acted more like somebody's stereotypical mother than his own had. Attempting to feed him every time he turned around, hugging him relentlessly, telling him not to forget his jumper -- definitely uber-mom behavior.

"We're not technically on call until tomorrow morning, are we?" Rodney asked.

Carson shook his head, fingers trailing through Rodney's short hair. "No. Of course, emergencies wait for no man."

"I don't want to be bothered unless the ZedPM goes critical or there are Wraith in the city," Rodney grumbled.

Carson sighed. "And what, you're goin' to call Radek and tell him that?"

Rodney shook his head. "No, no, of course not. He'd just see it as an excuse to get me down to the lab to look at something. Anything. Personnel reports. Power consumption ratios. Whatever."

"He's a better man than that, you know." Carson kissed Rodney's temple, his lips soft and warm.

"He's probably eager to give me my job back. No doubt he's been completely in over his head the entire time. It's a wonder the city's still afloat."

Carson chuckled and shook his head. "And if he was that incompetent, you'd never have left the place in his hands."

Rodney snorted. "Well, okay. But don't tell him that."

"I wouldn't dream of it, love."

Rodney poked Carson in the ribs with one finger. "Liar."

"Elizabeth said they'd discovered a spa while we were away." Carson raised himself up off the floor a bit and curled an arm around Rodney's waist. "Would you like to go find it and see if it's any good?"

"How are we supposed to know where it is?" Rodney asked. He wasn't sure what he thought of that idea. Spas usually meant naked people and, aside from Carson, he wasn't exactly keen on that idea.

"She said something about Radek sending a general email with information." He nuzzled Rodney's neck. "I wouldn't mind goin' to have a soak myself."

"This means we'd have to get up, doesn't it?" Rodney sighed when Carson nodded and rolled onto his knees. "Oh. Ow. Knees. Back."

"Oh, get up with you." Carson reached up and swatted Rodney's ass. Rodney glared down at him.

"See if you get any tonight."

Carson grinned wickedly. "See if you can say no."

Rodney staggered to his feet. "Oh, you are so asking for the celibate treatment."

"And you're like to give it to me? I think not." Carson laughed and got to his feet as well. "Let's get a look at that email, shall we?"

Rodney shook his head and booted his laptop. "Right. Remind me again why I'm supposed to love you?"

Carson laughed and grabbed him, kissing him soundly.

"Oh," Rodney said, trying to catch his breath. "Yeah. That."

Carson leaned down and pulled up Rodney's email program. Rodney sat and typed in his password and checked for new email. Naturally, his box was flooded. It took a while to sort through the list and find the spa mails. Carson leaned over his back, arms around his neck, and looked over his shoulder. "So," he said. "Looks like it's mixed hours, clothing optional."

Rodney looked at him. "Yeah. Right. Like I want to see my staff naked."

Carson tapped the screen with one fingertip. "From the looks of the area, we'll be able to find some privacy, and the only one you'd have to see naked would be me." He nibbled on Rodney's ear.

"Oh, stop that. If I want to see you naked, I'll do it here."

Carson nipped a little harder. "And where's your sense of adventure, then?"

"Back on Earth, where I left my swim trunks." Rodney elbowed Carson.

"So wear a pair of your boxers. It's not like swim trunks are any different." Carson blew in his ear and Rodney shuddered with the tickle that went down his spine.

"Will you stop trying to get me horny? I am so not going where people might see me sporting wood."

"Rodney, love, what will it hurt to go and take a look?" He stood and went to the bathroom, coming back with a pair of towels. "If there's a crowd, wear your boxers. If there's not, then come soak with me and we can have a wee bit of rest and relaxation. How does that sound?"

"These people are never going to respect me if they see my naked ass in a hot tub," Rodney snorted. "So, no."

Carson glowered at him. "If they're in the spa, Rodney, they're not caring who else is there. They'll be too busy minding their own business and having a soak or a sauna."

"Yes, yes, and the moon is made of green cheese. I know what people do in places like that."

Carson shrugged. "Well, if you won't go with me, I'll just have to go by myself," he said. "I'm not afraid of letting people see me having a wee soak." He headed for the door, both towels over his shoulder. "I'll see you in a few hours, love."

"No! Hey, wait!" Rodney got up and hurried after him as he headed down the corridor toward the transporter. "I am so gonna get you for this."

"Oh, aye," Carson said, voice trailing after him as he entered the transporter. "You can have me at the spa, then." With an evil grin, he tapped the map panel and the doors shut in Rodney's face.

Rodney leaned his head on the closed transporter door. "I hate you," he muttered.

A moment later the door opened again, and Rodney entered the transporter then followed Carson up to the spa at the peak of the tower. The corridor looked like every other in Atlantis, but the door Carson stood before was different, cast in blues and cool shades, unlike the earth tones of most of the other translucent panels. "Well, love," he said, "I thought you'd never get here." He smiled, his eyes alight.

"I thought you were tired."

Carson nodded. "I am, but this doesn't have to be work. Really, Rodney, it could be quite lovely." He gestured toward the door and it opened for him. Rodney followed him inside.

The email and its little map hadn't prepared him for the immensity of the space, and the stars above were clearly visible through the domed roof. Rodney's mouth gaped open as he looked up. "Wow," he said softly.

"Oh, aye," Carson agreed. They stood for a long moment, just taking the place in. Plants had been started in several areas, but the sound of waterfalls captured Rodney's attention. Carson's hand bumped his stomach and Rodney took the proffered towel.

"There's next to nobody about," Carson said after a moment. Rodney looked around him and saw that Carson was right. He saw a couple of people in a tub off to the left in the distance, but that was it. One steam room seemed to be occupied, from the shadow inside.

"Good," Rodney said. "Maybe we can actually do this without an audience." The light was low enough that it made seeing details difficult, but sufficient to move around safely. That seemed acceptable.

"Let's walk a bit," Carson said. "Explore the place before we decide where to have our soak." He gestured off to the right.

Steam rose like mist from many of the pools they passed, and the place smelled like loam and growing things. It was comfortably warm here, and Rodney started to relax a bit as it became apparent that most of the space was actually unoccupied. They saw less than a dozen people on their trek about the place. A few waved as they passed, or said hello, but nobody bothered them. They settled on an isolated pool near the edge of the huge room. Standing at the edge of the pool felt a lot like standing on the edge of a cliff, but the clear material that let in the starlight was thick and secure.

The pool itself was situated about three and a half metres above the main level in a rock outcropping. Another placed higher up spilled a waterfall into it, splashing gently. Through the clear dome, Rodney could see the dark silhouettes of the city's towers, and the lights in the control tower where everyone lived and most of the work was done. Outlined by the flickering stars, it was breathtaking.

Somebody had planted ferns and trailing plants from the mainland about the pool, and it felt almost like being outside -- thankfully without the biting insects and the snakes. Rodney really hated the biting insects and the snakes.

"So," Carson said, stripping off his shirt, "the view's really quite something, isn't it?" There was just a bit of awe in his voice, and even though Rodney was rarely inclined to succumb to such sentiments, he felt a bit of that awe himself.

He grinned at Carson. "Were you referring to the city, or yourself?"

Carson swatted him with his shirt before he dropped that and the towels next to the pool. "Prat." He smiled and started unbuttoning his jeans.

Rodney shifted, slightly nervous as Carson shucked his clothes. "What if somebody comes?" he asked. "You don't want to be naked in front of everyone, do you?"

Carson snorted softly, barely audible over the distant sound of waterfalls. "The only one I'm naked in front of right now is you," he said. "And really, if anyone else wanders by, I doubt they'll want to come up to an occupied pool. There's more than enough space here for privacy, and you can't see into this pool from the ground level." He dipped one foot in and hissed. "Och, it's a bit hot."

"If it's too hot, we could find another," Rodney said, not quite willing to take his clothes off.

Carson shook his head and stepped in. "It'll be fine in a moment. I just need to adjust a bit." He looked up at Rodney. "Well, come on then. In you go." He gestured impatiently.

Rodney looked around nervously, but didn't see anyone. "Yeah, right, okay. But if anybody comes trooping up to bother me in my nudity, it's so your fault."

Carson just smiled. "Nobody's goin' to bother us at this hour, love. Trust me. If they're here now, they're looking for privacy, just like we are." He held a hand out to Rodney.

"Right, right," Rodney muttered. He sighed and started stripping his clothes off.

"If you're that nervous, you can leave your shorts on. It's not like anyone will care."

Rodney glowered at him. "Yeah, right. And then I have to walk home with my pants soaking wet. Not likely."

"When did you get so daft, genius?" Carson snickered. "Wear them in here, then take 'em off before you put your trousers back on."

"Umm... no. Not really," Rodney said. He took a deep breath and shucked his boxers as well. "Okay, okay. There, naked. Are you happy now?"

Carson just grinned. "I'll be happier once you're in here with me."

"There's just no pleasing you," Rodney grumbled. He took Carson's hand and stepped down into the slightly-too-warm water. Yipping and hissing, he settled into it beside his lover. Carson, fortunately, was right, because it did get much more tolerable fairly quickly.

Carson tucked up next to him, half-floating, and they sat close to each other. He slid an arm around Rodney's shoulders. "It's lovely, isn't it?" he said, gesturing to the stars arcing above them, and the lights of the city below.

Rodney gazed out at the view for a long, silent moment. "Yeah," he finally said, his voice soft. "It really is something."

Carson leaned his head on Rodney's shoulder with a quiet sigh. When Rodney looked down at him a few moments later, he saw that Carson's eyes were closed. He pulled Carson closer, an arm around his waist. "It's good to be home again," Carson said, not bothering to open his eyes. "It was lovely go to back to Earth, but..."

"But what?"

Carson opened his eyes and looked up at Rodney. "But I'd rather be here with you. This is my home now, much as it frightens me sometimes to think that way."

"Carson--"

He shook his head. "I never thought I'd want so much to be with someone. It's not that I never hoped for it, but my work was always more important than anything else in my life. Mum always despaired of me finding anyone, you know."

Rodney nodded, nuzzling at Carson's forehead. "Yeah, I know. She said something like that one day when we were talking."

"Do you have any idea how happy that made her, you coming back home with me?" Carson kissed Rodney's neck, a soft, gentle touch that trailed down his throat from his jaw. "She'd been hoping for so many years that I'd bring someone home. She never quite knew what to expect. Every time I'd go back, she'd always ask if there was anyone for me. I could never tell her yes before."

"It hardly feels real," Rodney said. "It's more like some bizarre dream, you know? All that stuff happening -- Jeannie and my dad, and your whole family. I mean, your family? I swear they're all on drugs or something." He sighed. "I could hardly understand a word most of them said, you know."

Carson laughed, his breath on Rodney's throat. "I think they hardly understood you most of the time, either," he said.

"Well, they could hardly be expected to grasp my genius," Rodney muttered.

Carson snorted. "What you did for Kenneth “g, that was a wonderful thing, Rodney. You've no idea how much that'll mean to him, getting away from Skye."

Rodney shrugged. "It wasn't much," he said. "Besides, I just couldn't see the kid spending the rest of his life gutting herring."

Carson favored him with a grin that was blinding, even in the dim light of the spa. "I'll not tell anyone you're so soft inside," he said, a wicked glint in his eyes.

"I am *not*," Rodney insisted, tickling Carson's side. Carson yipped and squirmed under his hand, wiggling away from him. The next thing Rodney knew, they were wrestling and laughing, attempting to tickle each other mercilessly.

Breathless, their bodies moved together, tumbling and splashing. Rodney kept forgetting just how strong Carson was, and he was a lithe, agile man for all that he carried a bit of extra weight around. It felt good -- really, really excellent, actually -- and Rodney couldn't help getting hard at the warm, vigorous contact. When Carson managed to pin him and duck him under, Rodney came up coughing and spewing water everywhere.

"You -- you drowned me!" he yelped.

Carson just grinned. "Well then, I guess I'd better start artificial respiration." He leaned on Rodney, holding him to the edge of the pool, and kissed him fiercely. Contrary to his stated aim, the kiss stole Rodney's breath rather than restoring it. The next thing he noticed was that Carson was just as hard as he was.

Oh yeah.

When Carson pulled back, they were both panting hard, and Carson had a feral gleam in his eyes. Rodney felt that same wild passion in his chest, swirling in his gut. He grabbed Carson by the shoulders and pulled him back into the kiss, bodies moving together, wanton and needy.

They surged together, arms and legs tangling, fingers in hair, cocks rubbing against one another in the slick heat of the water. Gasping, they bucked against each other, falling into sensation until everything vanished but pleasure and the sound of water.

When Rodney came, his fingers digging into Carson's ass, it was like a revelation. His need, his desire for this man overwhelmed him. This was real. It was wild and fierce and passionate, and Rodney had never known his life could be this way. This was worth anything -- everything. He gasped Carson's name as his body shuddered its release, and Carson wasn't far behind him.

A few moments later, when they relaxed into each other's arms, Rodney stared up at the stars above them. Still panting, he held Carson as they came down.

"Now this," Rodney finally said, when he thought his voice was under control, "this is why we should never be naked together in a hot tub. What if somebody walked in on that?"

Carson shook his head and chuckled, quiet and breathless. "They'd probably run," he said. "I can't imagine they'd want to be seein' anything like our two bare arses hanging out."

Rodney looked down at Carson. "Actually, I can think of a hell of a lot of people who'd probably pay to see your bare ass. Mine, not so much."

Carson rolled his eyes. "You do have a way of ruining the mood, don't you, mo leannan?"

Rodney snorted. "You've met me, right?"

Carson just kissed him again.

***

People were missing. It was still strange, the gaps in the Thursday Night Crew. Radek sighed, watching Rob Stackhouse curled up miserably in a corner talking to Terr Hill and Tanya Jones. Both had an arm around him. It had been about two months since the siege, but people were still aching from the losses. They'd only started meeting again last week. Radek burrowed into Geoff's side, tucking himself safely under his lover's arm. It would be a long time before everything returned to normal.

Gary Crendall, the SeaBee lieutenant, had died in the siege the same day Jackson DeLancie had. Nagazima Hiro had been taken by the Wraith as he crossed an open area trying to protect one of the scientists during the mad scramble for evacuation. Erin Siwicki looked forlorn without her Go partner. Peri Turner's arm was still in a cast, though it was nearly ready to come off, and Wen Lin Yao and Fran Lopez stayed close to her. Peter was deeply missed as well, leaving a gaping hole in Radek's life. Geoff was coping a little better, but there was still so much anger and grief in him.

A couple of new scientists had joined them, and the Novograd Twins were playing chess together as they talked to one of the Germans who had joined them from the Daedalus. She was tall, with blonde hair and glasses. There would no doubt be military who would find out about them, but that would take time. The military were far more cautious about seeking out others of their kind.

Carson and Rodney had returned yesterday. Rodney had asked if it would be all right if they came. He'd been uneasy, knowing how Geoff blamed him for Peter's death. He knew that the two of them had to resolve this, and avoidance would not help either of them. After all the losses everyone had suffered, seeing their own safe and well would help. And they had both had been missed while they were away on Earth.

"Will Carson and Rodney be here?" Erin asked. She sat in a chair today. It was strange not to see her sitting at the coffee table with Hiro at the Go board. She looked like she wasn't sure what to do with herself.

He nodded. "Yes. They should be here soon."

Geoff stiffened a bit. "I guess I have to deal with it sooner or later."

Radek nodded. "Just be yourself, milacku. There is no need to discuss it all right now. You both just need to know you can be in the same place at the same time."

"I guess." Geoff sounded like he was not convinced. He sighed.

"Please," Radek said softly, stroking Geoff's chest with one hand. "There are not so many of us here. We cannot afford to be at one another's throats, even because of grief."

Geoff relaxed again. "I know. You're right. It's not his fault."

"Miluju te," Radek whispered. "All I ask is that you try."

Erin got up and paced aimlessly between the couch and the dining table. Radek watched her prowling, restless and lost, and wondered why Tanya didn't get up to talk to her. Of course, Rob was still a mess after losing Jacks, so it made a certain amount of sense that people would pay more attention to him.

"Erin," Radek said. She looked up, still pacing. He gestured to her. "Come over here." He patted the couch next to him. "Come sit with me and Geoff."

She blinked for a moment then nodded. "Yeah." Erin moved gracefully around the couch and sat next to him, leaning into him. "Thanks."

He put an arm around her, and Geoff's hand followed it, fingers stroking the back of her neck. Erin closed her eyes and sighed, tucking her legs up under her and relaxing into them. "You okay?" Geoff asked.

"Mostly," she said. "It's just... it's really weird, you know? I played Go with Hiro every day except while I was on the mainland. Every day." She took a deep, slightly shaky breath. "We played since the day we met back in Antarctica. I just... I still miss him." She looked over at Geoff. "I miss Peter too," she said softly. "He was the best."

Radek looked over at Tanya. "Has she not been there for you?"

Erin shook her head sadly. "We broke up about a month ago. She, um... she was looking for Ms. Monogamy. I'm just not the type."

"I'm sorry," Radek said. He hugged her a little closer.

"I think I'm not anybody's type, really," she said with a quiet sigh. "Can't say I blame anyone. They all figure I'm weirder than a two-headed snake anyway."

Geoff shook his head. "No you're not." He let his fingers trail through the hair at the nape of her neck. "We all make choices. She wasn't willing to let you be who you are."

Erin shrugged and propped her feet on the coffee table. "It's her right to want somebody in an exclusive relationship. I couldn't do that for her. That was my choice." She looked away. "Doesn't mean it didn't hurt."

Radek cupped her cheek in one hand and gently pulled her head to rest on his shoulder. He nuzzled in her short brown hair. "I wish there was some way to make this better for you. I'm sorry."

"You can get me drunk later and let me be a pissy bitch," Erin said. She took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes with her wrist. "I don't really want to talk about it anymore right now. Hurts too much still."

"I think we can manage that," Geoff said. Radek nodded in agreement.

"Is not too much to ask," he said.

She nodded into his shoulder and folded her glasses up, sticking them into her jacket pocket. "I'd get drunk now if I didn't have to get up in the morning."

They didn't look up when the door opened, but Carson's cheery, "Evenin' everyone," let Radek know who had arrived.

He smiled as he looked up, pleased they had come. "Welcome home," he said, letting go of Erin and Geoff and rising to his feet. People got up and welcomed Rodney and Carson with hugs and questions, the room descending into a chaotic but more cheerful babble.

Everyone wanted to know how things were on Earth. Radek watched as Geoff offered a tentative hand to Rodney. Rodney's eyes were guarded, his shoulders tense, but he took the proffered hand briefly. "Welcome back," Geoff said.

Rodney nodded. "It's good to be home," he said, his voice somewhat subdued. There was a question in his eyes, but he apparently did not find the answer in Geoff's demeanor. After a moment, he turned to Radek.

Radek didn't give Rodney the chance to speak before enveloping him in a hug. "I am glad you've come back to us safe. I'm concerned about what happened on the Daedalus, though." Rodney was hesitant in his embrace, but took a deep breath and let Radek hold him for a moment.

"Yeah," he said. "Fucking Wraith."

"I hope, at least, that your holiday on Earth was a good one." Radek stepped away, not wanting to aggravate the stress between Geoff and Rodney.

Rodney nodded. "It was okay."

"Oh, it was more than that," Carson said, a warm smile on his face. "We had a wonderful time with my family. Rodney's... well, his sister Jeannie's a lovely woman. His father, though; um." Carson blinked and swallowed. "Let's just say that the man's not one to be around."

Rodney snorted. "Oh yeah. Right. Don't tell anyone you punched him out."

Radek and Geoff stared at Carson. "You punched him?" Geoff asked in disbelief.

Carson blushed and looked Geoff in the eyes. "I couldn't stand the way he was abusing Rodney and his sister. It was awful." He shifted uneasily. "It was just the once. It was the CIA that finally hauled him away."

"The CIA?" Erin sounded almost as astonished as Radek felt.

"Rodney, why did the CIA take your father away?" Radek blinked.

"Well," Rodney said, "we think it was the CIA, anyway. It was a couple of men in black. I'm just too valuable for the SGC to let wander around unescorted, you know."

"Right," Geoff muttered.

"It's true," Rodney said. "You think that the SGC wants the Trust to get its hands on any of us? Not likely."

Radek nodded. "Yes, I have heard of these people. And no, I do not believe the SGC would want them even knowing about Atlantis."

"At any rate, we left for Scotland the next day," Carson said. Radek nodded. It made sense, if Rodney's father was as bad as all that. "We visited with Mum in Glasgow and then we all went up to Skye to see the rest of the family for a few days."

Erin smiled. "Skye is so beautiful. I wish I could have been there."

Carson nodded. "We had a lovely holiday."

"Except for your relatives trying to convince me to wear a kilt and be Catholic for a day," Rodney snorted. Half the room lost it at that. The very image of Rodney McKay in a kilt for any reason, or setting foot into a church was absurd. Radek laughed along with them. "Yeah," Rodney said. "That's about how I felt."

"Why the hell did they want to get you into a kilt and a church?" Tanya asked. "Somebody get married?"

"Not yet," Carson said. "Though they were surely trying hard enough to get us to do it right then."

"Wait," Lin Yao said. "You? And Rodney?" She blinked. "Married? I didn't think you could do that."

"His relatives probably don't care," Fran said. She winked at Carson.

"Actually," Carson said, blushing, "we could now. We found out when we were back on Earth. And... um... well, we've decided we're getting married in about a year." He gave them all a shy smile.

Radek took a step back, stunned. "You... what? Is this possible? You are going to Amsterdam to do this?"

"No," Rodney said, shaking his head. "It's legal in Canada now."

"It is?" Erin said, incredulity in her voice as the room descended into a babble of excited talk. "I always knew you guys were saner than the Americans. This just proves it."