Series: Moments Sacred and Profane - Season Two

Title: MSP20: Covenants of Flesh

Author: Mice

Email: just_us_mice@yahoo.com

Category: Stargate: Atlantis, McKay/Beckett

Warnings: slash, angst

Spoilers: season one, The Siege 3, Intruder

Rating: NC17

Summary: Rodney and Carson visit some old, familiar places. Naturally, difficulties ensue.

Archive: If it's on your list, you can archive it. If it isn't and you'd like it, just let me know where you're putting it.

Feedback: Feed me, Seymour.

Website: Mice's Hole in the Wall http://www.squidge.org/mice

Mirror: http://mice.inkpress.org

Disclaimer: Not mine. They belong to many other people. But if they were mine, they'd be having very interesting adventures.

Author's Notes: The title is a phrase from a Seamus Heaney poem, Glanmore Sonnets X. According to Joe Mallozzi from SGA, Rodney's cat's name is Jane, so that's what I'm going with here. Beta by Pas, Cygnet, Heuradys, Lucia Tanaka, and kaytee4ever.

~~~

Stroke by

stroke my
body remembers that life and cries for

the lost parts of itself

~~Mary Oliver -- from The Sea~~

"I can't believe we're going home," Carson said softly. Rodney looked around the crowded Gateroom as Riordan dialed Earth. It wasn't just the command crew heading home; the gravely wounded and the bodies of the dead were going as well. The men who had assaulted Carson and Radek and Lin Yao were being escorted through in handcuffs. A few others who had decided they were unwilling to remain on Atlantis were also returning with them.

"I just wish I didn't still feel so strung out," Rodney replied. "Radek and Teyla and Lorne will probably let the place blow up while we're gone, and we'll get back with the Daedalus to find Atlantis has slipped back under the waves."

Carson shifted nervously next to him, but smiled anyway. "Aye, and then your bum'll fall off."

Rodney turned back toward Operations. "Don't blow anything up while I'm gone," he shouted up to Radek. Zelenka just grinned, squinty eyed behind his glasses, and waved.

"Don't worry, Rodney. I save that for you."

Carson edged a little closer to Rodney until they were standing shoulder to shoulder, almost touching. The Gate blossomed and Carson took a deep breath, straightening his shoulders. "Well, that's it then," he said. He looked into Rodney's eyes. "Home again."

Rodney nodded. Over the course of the last week, Carson still hadn't decided if he would be coming back to Atlantis, and that left Rodney feeling at loose ends. He wasn't going to give Carson up, but he didn't know if he could bear not coming back. For all the misery and danger they'd suffered, Atlantis had begun to feel like home. He knew himself here; knew his own capabilities and those of his people. He had friends here and a community. It was something he'd never really had back on Earth.

"All right, people," Elizabeth said. "Let's go home." She grinned and gestured to the Gate, then led the way through the puddle.

The disorientation was, as usual, brief, and Rodney found himself stepping into the Gateroom under Cheyenne Mountain. It felt almost claustrophobic after the openness of Atlantis. Carson was beside him a moment later, looking around in disbelief. Rodney wondered for a moment if the man was going to fall to his knees and kiss the floor. He sincerely hoped not. It would be terribly embarrassing, but then again, he'd be able to tease Carson about it for years.

A man Rodney assumed to be General Landry stepped forward. "Ladies and gentlemen," he said, "welcome home." He offered a hand to Elizabeth, and she shook it. Rodney blinked when he realized he was shaking with relief. Maybe that kissing the floor bit wasn't such a bad idea after all.

The wounded and returning personnel continued to file past them into the room, but Rodney and the rest of the Atlantis command crew were swooped up by that little bald Gate tech and Landry and ushered away before they'd had much chance to say anything else.

There would be a week of debriefing and choosing new personnel for the expedition. Rodney refused to think of it as 'replacing' his people; the mere idea hurt too much. As if he could ever replace Peter or the others. Carson looked over at him, breathless with wonder, a huge smile plastered across his face. Rodney wondered how long that would last once they'd been settled into separate quarters and hauled off for hours and hours of meetings.

Separate quarters because, hello, military base and the US military tended to frown on relationships like theirs, despite that it wasn't illegal or anything. Rodney was used to that sort of stupidity.

He wondered if his former next-door neighbor still had his cat.

"I imagine you'd all like to have a day to yourselves before the debriefings begin," Landry said, "so you'll be shown to your quarters and then transportation will be provided for you all to get off base, if you like, and just take it easy."

"General?" Sheppard said.

Landry shrugged. "Not usually SOP, but you folks have been through a year of hell and I'm sure you need some downtime." He turned to the Gate tech. "Walter, you want to show these folks to their rooms? I've got to deal with the Jaffa this afternoon." He shook his head. "I really do wish Teal'c would stick around for a while. He'd be able to make sense of all their political maneuvering." He grinned at Elizabeth. "I don't suppose you'd like a shot at it?"

Elizabeth chuckled. "Right now, General, I think I'd just like a real sit down meal that didn't come from an industrial kitchen."

Landry smiled. "I think that can be arranged."

The sergeant gestured down the hallway. "If you'll come this way." He and Landry started off down the corridor. "I hope you don't mind, but we've taken the liberty of getting some of your clothing and personal belongings from storage and settled them in your quarters."

"How about my cat?" Rodney asked.

The sergeant gave him a look. "Sorry, sir. Nobody said anything about pets."

"You wanna bring your cat back to Atlantis?" Sheppard asked, astonished.

"Of course," Rodney snapped. "That bimbo probably doesn't even still have her," he mumbled to himself.

"It's all right, Rodney, you can check later today if you want," Carson said. He patted Rodney's shoulder.

They went up several floors in an elevator and then down a maze of corridors. A little while later, the sergeant stopped in front of a door. He pulled a key from his pocket and opened it, then handed the key ring to McKay. "You gentlemen," he indicated Carson and Rodney, "are assigned to these quarters. There's a key for each of you here."

Rodney blinked. "Both of us?" Carson just looked poleaxed.

"I was given to understand you share quarters in Atlantis," the sergeant said. "If you'd rather I--"

"Oh, no no, that's fine," Rodney sputtered. "Just somewhat unexpected." Elizabeth grinned and Sheppard snorted. Rodney glared at him. "No comments from the peanut gallery. That specifically means *you* Major."

"So not saying anything, McKay," Sheppard said, his eyes agleam.

"All right then. I'll leave you Doctors to your day." The sergeant nodded and led Elizabeth and the Major away. Rodney assumed they'd be just down the hall.

Carson stepped into the suite and Rodney followed, closing the door behind them. He locked it for good measure. "Damn," he said. "It's weird to actually have to use a key."

"Aye, that'll take a bit of getting used to again," Carson said. He walked over to the table and picked up a piece of paper lying there, ignoring the small box that lay beside it. "Looks like they've got us scheduled solid until we're let loose at the end of the week." He waved the paper at Rodney.

Rodney took it and examined it. Starting at 0700 the next day, there were meetings and debriefings and personnel interviews and paperwork and god knew what else stuffed into every hour from 0700 to at least 2000 every damned day they'd be in the Mountain. It was a good thing they'd have today to themselves. He dropped the paper back on the table. "They said they had some of our stuff. I don't think I've worn real clothes since I got to Atlantis. I think it's time for a casual Friday. Is it Friday?"

Carson shrugged. "I've no idea, but that sounds brilliant. I'm sure it's Friday somewhere in the galaxy."

A brief exploration revealed both Carson and Rodney's clothes in dresser drawers and closets, as well as an assortment of photos and small personal items set out around the place. Rodney got into a pair of comfortable jeans and his 'I'm with Genius' t-shirt. Carson wore jeans as well, and a blue shirt that was... well, he looked nothing short of breathtaking. It certainly stole Rodney's breath.

"God, you look good," he said quietly, more than a little reverence in his heart. The blue made Carson's eyes electric. He could barely breathe, looking at Carson. Then Carson smiled at him and every last one of Rodney's brain cells died.

Rodney didn't bother talking; he just walked over to Carson and grabbed him and kissed him until Carson was as breathless as he was. Their arms were around each other and Rodney kissed Carson like a man starving for lips and tongue and something deeper that he couldn't even name.

"Clothes off, now," Rodney demanded in a growl.

Carson chuckled. "I just got them on."

"So what?" He tugged at the top button of Carson's shirt.

"So, I think we've got other things we could be doing now. We can do this tonight. Besides, I really do want to call my mum."

"You... buh... phone call?" Carson grinned, and there was an evil spark in those electric blue eyes. Rodney smacked the back of his head. "Asshole."

Carson grabbed Rodney by the shoulder and tossed him down on the bed. "Not."

"Bitch."

"Och, and you love me anyway."

Rodney snorted. "Unfortunately, yes. Now about those clothes."

Carson leapt on top of Rodney and tugged at his jeans, popping all the buttons at once. "What about them?"

"Where did you learn that move?" Rodney raised his eyebrows. He pulled at the buttons on Carson's shirt, but his fingers were awkward with his excitement.

"What, are you complaining?"

"No no no," Rodney said. "Just curious."

"Dated a sailor once. Far more buttons than this on a uniform." He grinned, still evil.

Rodney frowned at him. "Why didn't you tell me you had a uniform fetish? I thought you hated the military?"

Buttons popped open and clothes went flying and Rodney hoped somebody had put some lube in one of the drawers next to the bed. "I don't have a uniform fetish, and I do dislike much of what the military does, but you must admit some lads just look good in those Navy uniforms."

"British or American?"

Carson shook his head. "Are you daft? British, of course."

Rodney tried to wrestle Carson under him, but it wasn't nearly as easy as he'd have thought. "Genius here," Rodney said. "Need I remind you?"

"How could I forget?" Carson had Rodney quite effectively pinned to the mattress and reached into the top drawer of the closest end table. "Oh, lovely. It's nice to see the SGC planning ahead for once." He pulled a bottle of lube out and showed it to Rodney.

"Oh, thank god," Rodney muttered. "I'd hate to have to call Sergeant Bald Guy and make him bring some to us under these conditions."

Rodney actually didn't mind being pinned under Carson at all. What he did mind was that Carson's hard cock was only milimetres from his mouth, but utterly unreachable no matter how he writhed. "Now, now," Carson said, "let's be patient for a moment."

"Patient? You obviously have no concept of the absolute torture you're putting me through here."

Carson looked down at him, catching his eyes. "Torture?" he asked innocently. The bastard.

Rodney growled. "Yes, you. With the blue eyes and that cock right there and the wrestling and-and the lube and -- Jesus H. Christ, Carson, let me suck you already."

Carson just laughed. "You've no patience in you at all."

Rodney stared at him. "Have we even met?"

"I seriously doubt I'd be waving one of my most precious parts in the face of a total stranger." Carson gave him the hairy eyeball.

"Sex!" Rodney shouted. "Now!"

Carson muttered something under his breath and shoved his cock in Rodney's face. "Here, then. This'll shut you up for a bit."

Rodney lifted his face and licked the head of Carson's cock and Carson hissed. Rodney grinned and then sucked it in, closing his eyes and making happy sex sounds. This was definitely better than staring at Carson's cock from slightly too far away.

"No appreciation for the finer points of foreplay," Carson grumbled. He yipped and thrust when Rodney swirled his tongue just so. "Oh, yes."

Rodney sucked, head bobbing and bouncing off the pillow with each stroke. Soft. The bed was nice and soft and it was comfortable and he was comfortable and oh god they were home and safe and nothing was going to try to eat them and Carson tasted wonderful and Rodney was unutterably happy with his life.

Carson was making blissful noises above him, legs pinning Rodney's arms to the bed. He struggled a little, but it was really just a token resistance. Carson was rarely a take-charge sort and Rodney actually rather liked to encourage that once in a while. It felt good to just lie back and let Carson have his way with him. Well, within reason anyway. The whole frustration and waiting thing wasn't in Rodney's overall game plan.

Rodney opened his eyes and saw Carson's hands fisted in the bedspread out of the corner of them. The expression on his face was indescribable, but it shot through Rodney's veins like a drug, leaving him shivering with want. Carson's head was down, eyes closed, his mouth opened as he gasped for breath. It was something like pain and something like ecstasy and maybe, at root, they were the same thing, because Rodney certainly thought he might die of it, watching his lover like that.

"Rodneyrodneyrodney," Carson chanted, his voice a whisper of breath through his lips. His hips moved in rhythm to Rodney's moving head and Rodney could taste the slick drops of pre-come as Carson grew harder and hotter in his mouth.

Rodney moaned and Carson gasped at the vibration, pulling out and away suddenly. "Not yet," he panted.

"Come back here," Rodney insisted. Carson shook his head and moved and the next thing Rodney knew, he was being rolled onto his belly. "Oh," he said, surprised. "Maybe not." Carson patted his hip and Rodney raised himself to his knees, face buried in his arms. He sighed, pleased, when Carson's hands caressed his ass and down his thighs, trailing along his sides and back. "Ohhh," Rodney mumbled into his arm. "Yeah."

Then Carson's hands slipped up to his cheeks again, parting them gently. The warmth of his breath moved against Rodney's skin and he shivered. A moment later, soft lips and the scratch of stubble moved in the cleft and Rodney moaned as the tip of Carson's tongue circled his opening. His cock twitched, balls tightening against his body. "Please," he moaned, barely breathing.

Carson 'mmm'ed and slipped his tongue inside Rodney, wet and hot and so damned good. Rodney pushed back against him and one of Carson's hands caressed his balls and pulled at them a little, bringing Rodney away from the edge.

Warm fingers slipped along his shaft and Rodney nearly purred, rubbing his face into the pillow as he moved. So much sensation in such a tiny amount of space and he was vibrating with need. He'd never been able to figure out how Carson managed to do that to him. He had, really, since the first time Rodney had laid eyes on him. Love had come later, but Rodney had always known he wanted Carson.

Soft nips on his buttocks and Rodney moaned again, eyes closed tight. He gasped when Carson's tongue traced patterns on his skin, slipping in and out of the cleft of his cheeks. The first time they'd been together had been quick and rough, and Rodney had believed he'd never have Carson again. He had never dreamed he'd end up here, like this.

"Please," Rodney whispered again. He reached back with one hand, fingers trailing along Carson's stubbled jaw. He felt so full, like his chest was weighted down with warmth. "Please."

"Rodney," Carson said gently. His lips moved against Rodney's thigh, soft and damp and tracing fire on his skin. He'd never felt so safe with anyone in his life as he did in this moment, deep under the Mountain. There were no crises, no Wraith bearing down on them, no shortages, no fears: just Carson, and the purity of sensation and arousal.

Carson kissed a trail along the curve of his hip, up his back and toward Rodney's shoulder as he covered Rodney's back with his body. He could feel Carson's weight and the warmth and substance of his chest pressing into him, one arm around Rodney's waist. Rodney sighed and slipped his hand along Carson's arm, covering it with his own. He felt Carson's slick hardness against him and wondered when Carson had used the lube -- but then, he'd been a bit preoccupied with that hot, wonderful tongue.

There were kisses on his shoulder and neck and Rodney shifted his knees further apart as Carson pushed against him and slipped into him. They both moaned, deep and throaty as Carson's slick shaft moved further and further inside with each slow, deliberate thrust.

"Oh, god, Rodney," Carson gasped. His hand tightened, spasming fingers in the muscle of Rodney's side. It was good; it was better than good, it was everything holy there ever was.

Not that Rodney believed in god, mind you, but Carson was close enough sometimes.

And then Carson was all the way inside him and Rodney nearly broke from how it felt. He shuddered as Carson moved inside him, arms tingling, head spinning. If he didn't know better, he'd wonder if he'd suddenly gone into hypoglycemic shock. His throbbing cock told him otherwise, and Carson's other hand was slick and pumping him and the next thing Rodney knew he was coming like there would never be another nanosecond. He gasped and cried out, voice muffled in the pillow. He bit down as Carson grunted and started pounding into him, teeth on Rodney's shoulder, biting, but not quite hard enough to bruise.

There was muffled Gaelic and Carson shuddered to a stop, his weight now fully on Rodney's back. Rodney's knees folded and they both collapsed on the bed, sweating and panting together.

"If you put that shirt back on," Rodney gasped, "I swear we will never leave this room."

Carson chuckled and kissed his cheek. "Daft bugger."

"Daft. That means 'genius' in Gaelic, right?" Carson swatted the back of his head. Rodney grabbed his wrist and kissed Carson's palm. "Have I mentioned recently that I love you?"

"No." Carson smiled at him, blue eyes alight. "I think we should clean up and see if SGC's been able to find Jeannie for you. Did she ever get your message, I wonder? And I do have to call my mum."

Rodney nodded. "Yeah, a shower would probably be in order. I don't think wandering the halls smelling like hot sex is really the best idea I've ever had."

"Not likely." Carson rose and they showered with only minor incidents of groping and kissing. Rodney thought it only fair -- after all, Carson had worn that shirt.

He had the temerity to put it on again when they got dressed. Rodney resolved to ignore it, largely because he was too tired to get it up again right now. When Rodney got dressed, he found a box on the dining table. Inside were two cell phones, one marked 'R. McKay' and the other marked 'C. Beckett,' with a phone number on each note. Along with the phones were lists of numbers that had been programmed into them. SGC was speed dial one, but he and Carson were each number two on the other's phone. Elizabeth and Sheppard were the others. Carson's phone had his mum's number in it. Rodney's had a 'J. Arsineau' listed.

"Jeannie?" he whispered. It was a Vancouver, BC area code. "Oh, god."

Carson came up behind him and put his hands on Rodney's shoulders. "Are you all right, mo leannan?"

Rodney was feeling a little light headed. "Phones," he said. "I think one of these numbers is Jeannie's." He handed Carson's phone to him. There were other papers in the box as well. He dug them out and looked at them. Bank statements for his and Carson's accounts and bank cards to access them with. He blinked. "Damn. I knew I had money before, but I think I'm rich again."

Carson looked over his shoulder after he tucked the phone onto his belt. "My god," he said. "I do think you're right. I'm not doing so bad myself. But... is that Euros or dollars?"

"Ummm... your bank's in Scotland. Euros, I think."

Carson nodded. "Fair enough. Just don't go losing all of yours on poker. You said you'd lost a fortune more than once at it."

"Uh, no. I really kinda doubt I'll be heading for any casinos if I'm with you." Rodney shook his head, still a little disoriented.

Carson slipped his arms around Rodney, holding him tight, his chin on Rodney's shoulder. "Will you be all right, speaking with her?"

Rodney took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I don't know," he admitted. "I haven't... I mean we haven't talked since she left home."

"And you were all of twelve at the time."

Rodney nodded. He closed his eyes. She was married, he guessed, given the last name. Or maybe divorced. Or maybe she'd even just changed her name because she didn't want to be a McKay anymore. He really could sort of understand that. "I have no idea what she's gonna say. If she'll even speak to me."

"She's your sister." Carson's voice was soft, with a slight undertone of 'of course she would,' and, 'that explains everything.'

"You should call your mom," Rodney said, working on his classic avoidance techniques.

"Aye, I will," Carson replied. "And you should call Jeannie. See if she wants to see you."

"Us," Rodney said and turned to look at Carson. "To see if she wants to see us."

Carson smiled.

A few moments later, Carson was on the phone babbling in Gaelic and Rodney didn't understand a word he said, except that he heard his name mentioned a couple of times. Carson was just about glowing, but there was an edge of tears in his eyes. Rodney wondered if everything was okay, or if he was just really really happy to talk to his mom. Probably the latter, he decided. Carson was kind of that way.

Rodney stared at his own phone, wondering if he had the guts to dial.

***

Carson stood with Rodney outside the apartment door. "Are you sure you want to do this, love?" He shifted his weight uneasily as Rodney knocked.

"Yes, yes, of course I want to do this. If I have her, they can't very well tell me I can't take her with me, can they?" Rodney scowled, waiting for the bimbo to answer the door. He knocked again impatiently.

A few moments later the door opened. A brunette woman answered the door. "Yes?"

"I came for my cat," Rodney said.

The woman squinted at him. "Oh, it's you. I thought you were leaving for good. You mean you meant it when you said you were coming back for her?"

Rodney snorted. "Of course I meant it. Jane's my cat. Why would I leave her with you forever?"

"Because you're an asshole," the woman said. She slammed the door in his face.

Rodney startled and then his shoulders slumped. "That went well," he muttered. He knocked again.

"You can't have her!" the woman shouted through the door.

Rodney bounced on his toes. "But she's *my* cat! You were just taking care of her for me!"

"She's mine now. Go away." The door didn't open.

"You can't do that!" Rodney insisted.

The woman opened the door and glared at him. "If you don't get lost, I'm calling the cops. Seriously. Take off. And take your friend with you. You two don't intimidate me."

"We're not trying to intimidate anyone, miss," Carson said desperately, trying to fix things and knowing it wasn't going to work. "Rodney only wants his cat back."

"Jane's settled in here. She loves me. I'm not giving her back. Get lost." She tried to slam the door again but Rodney'd got his foot in it. He yowled when the door slammed against it.

"Ow, ow, ow! Fuck!" Rodney spat. He reached for his foot. The woman put her hand on the top of his head when he bent over and she pushed. Rodney ended up on his bum on the ground, and Carson sighed and shook his head.

"I'm sorry we bothered you, miss," Carson said, helping his cursing lover to his feet. "We'll just be off now."

"Don't come back," she growled.

Rodney hopped along with Carson's arm still around him, cursing under his breath. "I just wanted Jane back. Is that too damned much to ask?"

Carson shook his head. "They're not goin' to let you take her through the Gate anyway, love. Really, it's better this way."

"No," Rodney said miserably. "It's not. She could have at least let me *see* her."

"Come on then, you need to let me look at your foot. Let's find a place for a sit down." He gestured to the park across the street. There were a couple of inviting-looking benches just back from the sidewalk.

"I want my damned cat back, bitch!" Rodney bellowed at the apartment building.

"Rodney, you're goin' to get us arrested if you don't calm down." He crouched at Rodney's feet and pulled his boot off. "Let me look at that and make sure nothing's broken."

"Not broken," Rodney muttered, angry, his arms crossed tightly over his chest.

Carson looked up at him. His face was twisted with pain and anger. "I'll be the judge of that, love. Last I recall your degrees weren't medical."

"How could she do that?" Rodney's voice was quieter, sad now. "I asked her to take care of Jane. I mean, I said there was a chance I wouldn't be coming back, but I really did tell her I wanted her if I did."

"She doesn't strike me as a very nice woman," Carson said. He pulled Rodney's sock off and looked at his foot. "Doesn't look like any major damage. Does this hurt?" He poked gently.

Rodney tugged his foot away. "Of course it hurts. I just got it slammed in a door. But it's not broken. Give me my sock and shoe back and let's get out of here."

Carson did, and sat on the bench next to Rodney as he put his sock and his boot back on. "What would you like to do now?" he asked. "I think we should probably arrange our plane tickets for Vancouver and Glasgow, don't you?"

Rodney nodded, sullen. "Yeah, okay. You're right."

"When is Jeannie expecting us, then?"

Rodney didn't look up. "I... um... I haven't called her yet."

Carson blinked. "You haven't? Why ever not?"

Rodney glared at him. "You saw what just happened. What if Jeannie doesn't want to see me? What then?"

Carson slipped his arm around Rodney's shoulders. "She's your sister, Rodney. And even if things were bad when she left home, you're both adults now. People change. You've changed."

"What if she has half a dozen squalling brats?"

Carson squeezed Rodney tugging him close. "Then you're an uncle half a dozen times over." He smiled. "You'll never know if you don't call. We can't come this far and you never speak to her."

"I don't want to be an uncle. Hell, I'm not even sure I want to be a brother." Rodney's eyes looked empty and he gazed off into the distance.

Carson's throat caught. "Give her a chance. Give yourself a chance."

Rodney pulled the cell phone off his belt and sat there, staring at it. "I wouldn't know what to say to her."

"Hello works."

"You know me. I'm no good at this."

"You've got much better at it over the last year. Trust me on that." Carson rubbed Rodney's back gently.

Rodney looked up from the phone and blinked at Carson. "Are you coming back to Atlantis?" He reached out and touched Carson's face, desperation growing in his eyes. "Please, tell me you're coming back with me. I can't do this without you."

Carson's heart stuttered in his chest. He'd been trying not to think about it yet, but he'd no idea how he would bring himself to leave Rodney. He sincerely doubted Rodney would stay on Earth with him.

"I will," he said. "I'll go back with you." And it was like an immense weight was lifted from Carson's heart, suddenly freed of constraints. Rodney looked disbelieving for a moment but then his face lit up. His fingers slipped behind Carson's neck and they leaned in, foreheads touching gently.

"Thank you," Rodney whispered.

"Why don't we go find something to eat," Carson suggested. "Then you can call Jeannie and we can get our plane tickets."

"Right," Rodney said. "Food. Tickets." They stood and he hissed but limped off at Carson's side.

***

Rodney held his breath as the phone rang. Carson was up at the counter, getting them some lunch. Rodney wasn't sure how much of the conversation he wanted Carson to hear, and the line at the counter was fairly long, so he probably had a few minutes.

"Hello?" a woman's voice answered.

"J-jeannie?" Rodney took a quick breath.

"Who is this?"

Rodney swallowed. "It's... um... it's Rodney."

"Rodney? Really? Oh my god."

"I... um... how are you?" God, he hated trying to talk to someone he barely knew, especially when it was his sister.

She took a stuttering breath. "Where are you? That... that video the US Air Force sent me -- it sounded like you thought you were about to die. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he said, releasing a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm in Colorado. I... um... would it be okay if I came to Vancouver to see you?"

"See me? When? I mean, yes. That would be good. I want to see you. Are you sure you're all right? You sound terrified."

Rodney closed his eyes and leaned his face in his hand as he spoke. "I just... you left when I was twelve, Jeannie. I had no idea if you ever even wanted to speak to me again."

"I do, Rodney. I have a lot of things to explain about that. I wanted to talk to you for years, but I wasn't sure how without having to deal with mom and dad, and you just dropped off the map when you took off for university. I mean you were what, fourteen?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "Look, Jeannie, I have to tell you something. When I come, I'll be bringing someone with me. He's... well, he's my partner, and before you freak out on me, I want you to know that if it's not okay to bring him, I'm not coming."

There was silence on the line for a moment, and Rodney's heart hammered in his chest. He could hear her breathe again. "Okay. That's okay. It... I mean, it'll take a little getting used to, but it's okay."

"Good," Rodney agreed. "I can handle that. Getting used to it. That's okay. It's better than some of what we've faced. I... I'll be here in Colorado for a week. I'll have the Air Force arrange a hotel for us, and we can meet you somewhere."

"Rodney, despite the fact that we haven't spoken in over twenty years, I'm still your sister. You and your... um... your boyfriend, you can stay with me if you want."

"I'm not sure that's the best idea. I mean I don't want to put you out. Do... do you have kids or anything? You're... um, you're not going by McKay anymore--"

"Divorced," she said. "No kids. I have a spare bedroom. It's okay, really. You shouldn't spend the money if you don't have to. I know what it's like."

Rodney shook his head as Carson came up to the table bearing two Coronas and a tray of burritos. "Money's not the issue, trust me. I just... I mean, what if we don't get along or something?"

"I think that's putting the cart before the horse here, Rodney. Just give it a try. If we don't get on, then you and he can find yourselves a hotel room, okay?"

"Um, okay," Rodney said. "I have your address. I'll call you when we book the tickets."

"Okay," Jeannie said. "I'll expect to hear from you soon." She took a deep breath. "I've missed you," she said softly. "I want to give this a try, okay?"

"Okay," he replied. "See you."

"See you." She hung up. Rodney stared at the phone for a long moment.

"How did it go, love?" Carson asked gently, setting the tray down and sitting across from him. "No guacamole, as you asked. No salsa. No lime for the beer."

"Thanks." Rodney flipped the phone shut and stuck it back on his belt. "I guess it went okay. She invited us to stay with her. She wasn't exactly jumping for joy about me bringing a man home with me, but she seems willing to work with it."

"That's all you can ask," Carson said. He unwrapped his burrito.

"What did your mom say, anyway?" Rodney unwrapped his as well and took a hit from his Corona.

Carson grinned. "Oh, she was all excited. She can't wait to meet you. She says we'll go up to Portree and you can meet the rest of the family as well. Mind, not all of them will be thrilled with me bringing a lad home, but most will be all right with it. They've known about me all my life."

"Really?" Rodney bit into his burrito.

Carson nodded. "Oh, aye. Family's family, where I come from. You don't reject somebody out of hand simply for being different."

"Must be nice," Rodney muttered.

Carson reached across the table and took Rodney's hand in his. "They'll love you. Trust me," he said reassuringly.

"Have you added fortune telling to your voodoo skills?" Rodney snorted.

Carson chuckled. "No. I just know my family."

Rodney shook his head and sighed. He didn't believe it, but he wasn't going to call Carson a liar to his face. At least he meant well. He ate, despite the knot of fear in his stomach about dealing with Jeannie.

***

"I'm really not qualified for this," Carson moaned, leaning back on the bed with a stack of files on his lap. Rodney sat next to him, a similar pile in his own. "All these people are more qualified than me." He picked up one file and waved it at Rodney. "Where do they get these people? I swear, they must have some kind of special breeding program."

Rodney snatched the file and slapped it back down into Carson's lap. "Oh, bullshit. You're more qualified than any ten of these people. You lived through the first year. None of these people has anything that can touch that. You've seen the Wraith. You've worked firsthand on their DNA. So shut up. I'm so not listening to you whine."

"Rodney!"

"Not listening." Rodney picked up another file from his own lap and opened it. "You know Elizabeth wants these things done by tomorrow."

Carson huffed, frustrated. "Any of these people would be supervising me anywhere else," he muttered.

"Talking bullshit again." Rodney didn't even look up.

"Rodney!" Carson shoved his files aside. "I'm not doing well here. I'd like at least a wee bit of sympathy."

Rodney paused for a moment then looked up. "What do you want me to say? If anybody other than you is in charge of the medical division, I'm not letting them lay a finger on me, so get over it."

"Bloody romantic," Carson muttered. He couldn't help but shake his head and chuckle. "If that's how it is--"

"That's how it is."

Carson gathered up the files and set them on the bedside table. "I had this conversation with Elizabeth earlier," he said. "She said some similar things."

"That's because they're true. Genius here, remember?" Rodney eyed him askance.

Carson sighed. "All right then. But how am I supposed to choose people for the expedition when I don't feel competent to judge their suitability?"

Rodney grinned wickedly. "Who's hot?" Carson snorted and swatted Rodney's chest with a file folder. "Oh, that's right, assault me. See if you get laid tonight."

"Rodney!"

Rodney rolled his eyes. "What specialties do you need? That'll at least narrow down the list a little."

"I've already done that." He picked up the stack again. "This is what's left. And they're all so bloody overqualified it's not even funny."

"Darts on a name grid?" Rodney suggested. "Flip a coin?"

"You're no help."

"No, I'm not. I have my own insurmountable mountain of paper here, in case you hadn't noticed."

Carson grinned. "We could trade."

Rodney just stared for a long moment. "Right. And then I'd have some botanist running the engineering division."

"I thought that was Radek's job?"

"Well yes, but it's the principle of the thing."

"I think we need a break," Carson said. Rodney looked over at the clock and nodded, setting his own pile of files aside.

"You're right." He rolled to his side and grabbed Carson. "I think hot sex is the best way to deal with the high pressure we're under at the moment."

"Daft sod," Carson snorted. "I was thinking more along the lines of dinner. It's late and I'm hungry. I'm surprised you've not been moaning about your blood sugar."

"Hmm," Rodney muttered. "Food, sex. Food, sex." He weighed the two in either hand. "You're right. Food." With an evil grin, he slid off the bed to his feet and held out a hand to Carson. "Coming?"

"Oh, aye," Carson said. He took Rodney's hand and let his lover pull him to his feet as well. "My eyes were almost crossing from the type anyway."

"Maybe you need glasses." Rodney looked at him. "You'd look hot in glasses."

"Right," Carson mumbled.

"Well, okay, so you look hot anyway, but glasses? Oh yeah." He tugged on Carson's hand and pulled him toward the door. "Come on, food waits on no man."

Carson sighed and followed Rodney out, wondering what he'd ever do without the man. Elizabeth and the Major were in the mess hall when they arrived. Carson and Rodney got trays and sat with them.

"Carson, Rodney," Elizabeth said. "How are things going with your selections?"

"Fine," Rodney said, while Carson said, "Terrible."

Elizabeth smiled. The Major chuckled behind his hand. "What seems to be the problem, Carson?"

"They're all so competent. I've no idea how to choose," he said.

Rodney picked up his fork and gestured with it. "I, on the other hand, have a classic stack of morons to winnow down to the least moronic. There were several dozen I rejected out of hand. I mean, please, when did we rewrite the laws of physics?"

"It's not like the stuff from the program's what they're teaching in colleges," Sheppard said. "Everything you do is classified Burn Before Reading."

Rodney nodded. "Well, yes, but still, these people have the collective IQ of your average jellyfish."

"Oh, they can't be so bad as all that," Carson said, taking a sip of his tea.

"Okay, so they're worse," Rodney grumbled. "Peons. Idiots. Sub-moronic dipsticks."

"I take it your winnowing project is proceeding apace," Elizabeth said, smiling.

"I shudder to think that some poor sheep died for their Ph.D. parchment." Rodney shook his head and dug into the chipped beef on toast.

"I'm sure they're not that bad, Rodney. Their governments chose the best they had--"

"Governments," Rodney snorted. "You can't trust them with anything. You ask for the best, and they just give you the people they want to get rid of. And you can't exile anybody further away than Atlantis."

"Honestly, Rodney, no one is doing that," Elizabeth said. Sheppard just shook his head, still grinning.

"Come on, Rodney, you're just still sore about being sent to Siberia," Sheppard said.

Rodney shook his head. "Technically, no. Atlantis, after all." He tilted his head and grinned at Carson. "And there are other benefits as well."

"I suppose that makes me the retirement plan, then, does it?" Carson said, smiling back fondly.

"God, I hope so," Rodney said. He slipped his hand onto Carson's thigh under the table. Carson blushed and tried not to fidget. Rodney didn't generally go for such displays, but then, they were with friends.

Elizabeth didn't say anything, starting in on her chocolate pudding. Sheppard poked Rodney's arm with one finger. "You're getting sentimental in your old age, McKay."

"Shut up," Rodney muttered.

"Not a chance," Sheppard said. "Looks good on you."

"You? Are so dead." Rodney glared at Sheppard, stuffing another bite into his mouth.

"Now, boys," Elizabeth said. "Do I have to call the principal?"

"I thought you *were* the headmaster," Carson said, grinning.

She chuckled. "I have the ruler to prove it."

"My slide rule is bigger than your ruler," Rodney snorted.

Sheppard rolled his eyes. "Way too old school."

"It has sentimental value," Rodney said defensively.

"Was that your one personal item?" Sheppard poked him again.

Rodney shifted his chair back from the table a few millimetres to avoid Sheppard's reach. "I am so not telling you what my personal item was," he said, blushing.

Sheppard's eyes narrowed. "Oooh. A challenge."

"That's it! That's enough," Rodney growled. "I'm not having this discussion. You and your collection of hair care products can go somewhere else." Carson was wondering what Rodney had taken to Atlantis himself now, and thought back to his first impression. Had Rodney really taken along some kind of sex toy? He closed his eyes and covered them with one hand. Rodney's hand swatted his thigh. "And you can stop speculating right now," Rodney snapped at him.

"Or what," Carson said, "I'll never see your slide rule again?"

Sheppard snorted, spewing his drink across the table.

"On that note," Elizabeth said, "I think I'll leave you boys to recess."

***

They pulled up near a nondescript small house in Kitsilano, not far from English Bay. Finding parking had been a bitch, but Rodney was more uneasy about everything else. Carson had suggested that he drive, saying that Rodney was probably too nervous, but Rodney countered with the 'wrong side of the road' argument. Carson had blustered a bit but given in, as Rodney knew he would.

Carson pulled their suitcases out of the trunk while Rodney paced up and down the sidewalk, looking at the little stuccoed home. "It's not goin' to bite you, mo leannan," Carson said.

Rodney snorted. "No, but Jeannie might."

"She's your *sister*," Carson grumbled.

"Whom I haven't seen since I was *twelve*, hello," Rodney growled back. "God knows what she's going to think."

Carson handed Rodney his suitcase. "Well, she did invite us to stay with her. The least you can do is give her a chance. Don't be a prat."

"What if she hates me?"

Carson shook his head sadly. "You've no idea what she's going to say or do, so I say let's be at least a wee bit optimistic. If she slams the door in our faces, then you can whinge about her hating you."

Rodney snorted. "Go ahead, remind me that I never did get to see Jane."

"That's not what I meant."

He sighed. "I know, I know. It's just kind of a sore spot still."

"I know, love, and I'm sorry. If you talk to General Landry, perhaps he'll let you bring a kitten with you."

"It's not the same." Rodney pocketed the car keys and started for the building. "Come on. Might as well get the horror over with."

Carson followed along behind and Rodney looked at the address next to the door. "Okay. Don't blame me if this is a disaster." He set down his suitcase and knocked.

A middle-aged woman answered the door. She was tall, with dark hair to her shoulders. Her eyes were blue behind round, wire-rimmed glasses. "Yes?"

"Jeannie. Um... it's Rodney--"

She grinned. "Rodney!" She grabbed his suitcase. "Come on in. I have some coffee on for you."

"See?" Carson whispered. "I told you."

"Give it five minutes," Rodney muttered. Five minutes was more than enough time for everything to blow up in his face.

They trailed her into the house. She entered one of the bedrooms on the first floor and put Rodney's suitcase on the bed. "You guys can stay here," she said, gesturing for Carson to put his own suitcase down, then fell silent, staring at Rodney.

Carson set his suitcase down and Rodney stared back at Jeannie. "Um... you look good," he said.

She went to him and gave him an awkward hug. "I'm glad you're here," she told him softly. Rodney patted her back, equally awkward. They stepped away from each other. Rodney could smell the coffee brewing in the other room. "So I take it this is your boyfriend," Jeannie said, finally paying attention to Carson. She smiled shyly and offered her hand to him. "I'm Jeannie Arsineau."

Carson grinned at her and shook her hand. "Carson Beckett. I'm very pleased to finally meet you."

Jeannie shifted her weight uneasily. "Come on into the dining room. We've got a lot of catching up to do."

Under the strong aroma of coffee was a subtler scent of something cooking. "Yeah," Rodney said quietly. "I guess we do." The entered the dining room and sat at the table as Jeannie went into the kitchen and brought them coffee with milk and sugar.

"If you two want," Carson said, "I could go for a walk about the neighborhood, give you some private time."

"No," both of them said quickly. "No," Jeannie continued, "that's okay. I'm just glad you're both finally here." She smiled softly.

"Both of us," Rodney said, uncertain. "Sounded to me earlier like you weren't sure about it all."

She shrugged. "I've had a week to think about it. I've never had anything against it, I'm just trying to wrap my brain around the fact that it's you." Jeannie looked over at Carson for a moment and flashed him a quick smile. "And your boyfriend is cute."

Rodney reached under the table and took Carson's hand, looking at him and hoping for some reassurance. Carson squeezed and smiled at him, blushing. "It's all right, mo leannan," he said.

Rodney nodded. "I... um... I really don't know where to start," he said. He leaned a little closer to Carson, shoulders brushing together.

Jeannie's smile faded. "I don't either," she admitted. "After I left home, I got married, but that didn't last very long. Brad wasn't terrible, but we just really didn't get along." She shrugged. "I went to university and got my degree in law. I'm a prosecutor now for the Provincial court." She got up and poured coffee for everyone. "I'm busy, but I enjoy what I do."