The Great Shortcuts Fic
This is the cheer-up birthday fic that sort of started everything.
Giles materialized in a white room. It was nearly empty, save for four small speakers, one in each corner, a rather large bed, a large box near the bed, and oh yes Ė Ethan Rayne, sitting on the edge of the bed.
Actually, it wasnít empty at all, when you come to think of it. It just seemed that way because it was so big and so damn white.
Giles walked to Ethan, spewing out the same olí mantra:
"What did you do, Ethan? Where are we? How do you break the spell?"
But Ethan broke his continued tirade.
"I donít know."
Giles stopped cold in his track. He was used to "I wonít tell you" and to "What do I get out of it", but not to a simple "I havenít a clue."
"Uh." He said uselessly.
"I suddenly appeared here about five minutes ago," said Ethan, who was very uncharacteristically helpful. "There are no doors. But the bed is comfy, and the box isÖ" he stopped and smiled, a special smile that Giles recognized and nicknamed "the kinky-pervert smile" many years ago.
All of a sudden, a strange buzzing sound came from the speakers. It reverberated around the room, and then a voice, sweet like an angelís (but not like Angelís, because that isnít sweet), said this:
"The two of you must get along. Go and have sex. This is a recorded announcement. I repeat, go and have sex."
Ethanís perv-smile widened. Giles shrugged. He still didnít believe it wasnít all Ethanís responsibility, but for some reason he could not deny it anymore: he wanted to do as the voice said.
He neared the bed, taking off his clothes and flinging them carelessly on the floor. Ethan started doing the same, and it wasnít long before they were both naked, and stood there, facing each other, each examining the body he knew so well and missed so much.
Finally Ethan reached his hand and touched Gilesí shoulder.
The buzzing sound from the speakers came again, causing Ethan to jump back. After a moment, the voice spoke:
"For your convenience, a relaxing aphrodisiac will be released into the air system now. If you are asthmatic, or suffers from other lung or breathing difficulties, please press the red button inside the large white box *now*."
A cough sounded, and then the voice returned:
"If you are pregnant, please press the button twice. We appreciate the cooperation. Have a good lay."
Ethan and Giles stared at each other for a moment, confused.
Then Ethan started chuckling. Giles looked at him, his anger returning, but with it something more.
"Care to tell me what is so funny? And maybe a detail or two?"
Ethan shook his head, still chuckling.
"Iíve only heard of this place. Itís owned by a she-demon who felt it was her duty to, and I quote the brochure I once found, "Make everything right again." I justÖ" he broke into a fit of giggles, and sat back on the bed.
Giles thought to himself he never saw anything as seductive and alluring as a naked Ethan on a bed.
Taking a deep breath, he could feel the drug entering his system. He pounced on the bed, sending Ethan flat on his back, and started kissing his long-lost lover. Ethan raised his legs, wrapping them around Rupertís waist, and started rubbing himself against the watcherís body.
After a long satisfying period of fluid-exchange, the two men were lying cuddled in bed.
Around them were scattered all the lovely toys they found in the box. Theyíve used each and every one of them on each other. Some of them were used twice.
Giles looked down at the dark head on his chest. He muttered soundlessly, "I love you."
"I can hear you, you know," Ethan said quietly, breathing the words in between Gilesí nipples. Giles stopped his breath.
..."I love you too".