Fiction:
What If Doctor Seuss Wrote Slash?
Joxer goes into Are's Temple singing:
I'm Joxer the Mighty.....
Ares:
That Joxer the Mighty, that Joxer the mighty,
I do not like that Joxer the Mighty!
Aphrodite pops in:
Would you fuck him here or there?
Ares:
I would not fuck him here or there.
I would not fuck him anywhere.
I do not like Joxer the Mighty.
I do not like him, Aphrodite.
Aphrodite:
Would you fuck him in a bed?
Would you fuck him on your head?
Ares:
I would not fuck him in a bed.
I would not fuck him on my head.
I do not like him here or there.
I do not like him anywhere.
I do not like Joxer the Mighty.
I do not like him, Aphrodite.
Aphrodite:
Would you fuck him in a frock?
Would you fuck him wearing socks?
Ares:
Not in a frock.
Not wearing socks.
Not in a bed.
I do not like him here or there.
I do not like him anywhere.
I do not like Joxer the Mighty.
I do not like him, Aphrodite.
Aphrodite:
Would you? Could you?
In a bar?
Fuck him! Fuck him!
Here we are.
Ares:
I would not, could not in a bar.
Aphrodite:
You may like him you will see.
You may like him in a tree.
Ares:
I would not, could not in a tree.
Not in a bar! You let me be.
I do not like him in a frock.
I do not like him wearing socks.
I do not like him in a bed.
I do not like him on my head.
I would not fuck him here or there.
I would not fuck him anywhere.
I would not fuck Joxer the Mighty.
I do not like him, Aphrodite.
Aphrodite:
A dump! A dump!
A dump! A dump!
Could you, would you in a dump?
Ares:
I would not, could not in a dump.
Aphrodite:
Say!
In the rump!
Here in the rump!
Would you, could you in the rump?
Ares:
I would not, could not in the rump.
Not in a dump! Not in a tree!
Not in a bar! Let me be!
I would not, could not in a frock.
I would not, could not wearing socks.
I will not fuck him in a bed.
I will not fuck him on my head.
I will not fuck him here or there.
I will not fuck him anywhere.
I will not fuck Joxer the Mighty.
I do not like him, Aphrodite.
Aphrodite:
Would you, could you on his back?
Ares:
I would not, could not on his back
Aphrodite:
Would you, could you on the rack?
Ares:
I would not, could not on the rack.
Not on his back. Not in the rump.
Not in a dump! Not in a tree!
Not in a bar! Let me be!
I would not, could not in a frock.
I would not, could not wearing socks.
I will not fuck him in a bed.
I will not fuck him on my head.
I will not fuck him here or there.
I will not fuck him anywhere.
I will not fuck Joxer the Mighty.
I do not like him, Aphrodite.
Aphrodite:
You do not like Joxer the Mighty?
Ares: I do not like him, Aphrodite.
Aphrodite:
Would you, could you tie him with a belt?
Ares:
I would not, could not tie him with a belt.
Aphrodite:
Would you, could you fuck him 'til he melts?
Ares:
I could not, would not fuck him 'till he melts.
I will not, will not tie him with a belt.
I will not, will not put him on the rack.
Not on his back. Not in the rump.
Not in a dump! Not in a tree!
I do not like him, Aphrodite, you see.
I do not like him in a frock.
I do not like him wearing socks.
I will not fuck him in a bed.
I will not fuck him on my head.
I will not fuck him here or there.
I will not fuck him anywhere.
I will not fuck Joxer the Mighty.
I do not like him, Aphrodite.
Aphrodite:
You do not like him.
So you say.
Try him! Try him!
And you may!
Try him and you may I say!
Ares(wearily):
Aphrodite!
If you will let me be,
I will try him.
You will see.
I will try.
I'm not guilty
If he starts to cry.
(kisses Joxer)
Say!
I like Joxer the Mighty!
I do! I like him, Aphrodite!
And I would fuck him 'till he melts.
And I would tie him with a belt.
And I would fuck him on the rack.
And I would fuck him on his back.
And I would fuck him in the rump.
And I would fuck him in a dump!
And I would fuck him in a tree!
He is so good, so good you see!
So I will fuck him in a frock.
And I will fuck him wearing socks.
And I will fuck him in a bed.
And I will fuck him on my head.
And I will fuck him here or there.
Say! I will fuck him ANYWHERE!
I do so like
Joxer the Mighty!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Aphrodite.
End