Breaking The Rules of What Should Be
In the loneliness of my heart I despairingly cry for you,
Here I sit on that old window ledge, looking at the sleeping world
outside, and wait.
Soon it will be midnight, my love, and then you will come to me.
I long for you, every day since I held your lifeless with blood
streaming body in my arms; since you died and took my heart away with
you. And I have to think of what we had and what I lost.
But I'm an egoistic man, who can not live without you.
I am a ranger who became king and has everything one can ever wish
for, but it satisfies me not. All that I want is you.
My love, my jewel, my Boromir.
So I did what is forbidden, what is feared and damned and only told
about in confidence.
"What do you wish from us, Elessar, king of Men?", the darkness
laughed and teased, "What is it what your noble heart desires?
Everything we can give. Everything we *will* give. But it has a
price."
I felt a shiver, when their dank touches almost seemed to reach me
soul, and their shallow breath on my face brought the foreboding of
death.
"By the power that is mine by birth, I command you! For this one
night bring back to me what I do love so much, and what I lost
cruelly at Amon Hen. Bring to me the fair and brave prince Boromir,
my beloved#&151;and every price I will pay."
"So be it", they said, and my heart pounded faster with joy and fear.
"So be it.", I agreed, sealing the pact with word and blood.
And for a moment even time stood still, when I broke the rules of
what should be.
I can hear it, it's coming closer... *You* are coming...
From a tower the hollow sound of a lonely bell announces the midnight
hour and outside in the corridor a low splashing becomes louder now,
like heavy drops of water on a cold stone floor...
I barely dare to breathe, till I hear the door open with a slight
creak, then close again. Silence.
An icy breath of wind blows at me and I turn from the window to meet
your gaze. Will I feel the same? Can you still arouse my passion with
a simple look?
And my heart misses a beat... You are so beautiful that it hurts to
look at you...
The eerie light of a clouded moon on your face and hair, your naked
body... No sign of the wounds that brought death to your human form
once, nothing of the doubt and sorrow that pained you so much. Just
cold and timeless beauty.
Like silk is your skin, when I risk a first and timid touch, and it
shimmers in its paleness like mother-of-pearl. Your eyes are
glittering emeralds, but when I want to lose myself in them, I find
them cold, calculating and full of greed.
You smile, but the joy doesn't reach your eyes.
I know what you want and I do not condemn you for it. For I am the
one who took you your peace, who forced you to come to me, Do you
hate me for it? and I will pay the price at the end of the night.
Vampire, Incubus, unholy Ghost... Boromir, dearest, lover mine...
You are standing before me, in this night of unspoken horror, and
your gaze changes to one of longing and desire.
Your hunger knows no bounds. Again and again you draw me into your
embrace and your body writhes in the sheets lithely like a snake,
while you purr like a cat whenever I touch you.
Your eyes are glowing, animated by unholy power, always full of
desire, full of need.
Your eyes sparkle mockingly. "Life!", you demand, repeating my words
in a twisted sense. "Love!" And your tongue slides over my chest,
licking the salty drops there from my skin, and then further to my
neck and lips. Your demanding mouth presses down on mine, when you
ignore my protest and force me into ecstasy again.
And I give you what you want, what you need, again and again, and I
can feel how life flows from me, leaves me.
Do you bring death to me tonight, my beautiful lover?
As if you have read my mind, you just smile coldly and lower your
head to kiss my mouth again, while your body still luxuriously
writhes above me.
Pure delight is on your face, when you throw your head back and moan
satisfied.
But then dawn breaks and you scream in rage and reluctance, trying to
stay, to hold yourself into life, despairingly reaching for me, when
the shadows come to take you away from me.
Oh Valar, to what have I doomed you, my love?
"Please, don't let me alone.", I beg and try to catch your out-
stretched hands.
"Alone.", you whisper, while the shadows tug you away, winding
themselves around you, to draw you into the dark. "Alone." And for
the first time this night, there is real and deep emotion in your
eyes. Pain and loneliness... So much loneliness.
"Not for long, beloved." I promise you, "Soon, I will be with you.
Forever."
You smile, and then you are gone.
Slowly, I raise from the bed, that still owns the scent of our love-
making, and force my legs to move. Every step is painful and I nearly
drop down.
Premonition seizes my heart, and I feel great fear growing in me,
when I walk towards the mirror...
Incredulously I stare at the old man who is looking back at me, touch
in horror my face, the deep wrinkles there, the pale and wilted skin,
and the grey hair that covers my head in thin strands...
Years of yearning and unfulfilled passion, burned in only one night.
The price that I have to pay,
And I laugh in madness for a long time before I sink to the floor and
cry like a child.
by
Vagabond
n the darkness of my chamber I secretly call to you,
In this night full of power and dark wishes,
And I conjure you up to come to me from your cold and wet grave.
In this night full of power and dark wishes,
And I conjure you up to love me again till the break of dawn forces
you away.
This night is darker then others, colder. It whispers of secrets and
forbidden things, it breaks the rules of what should be.
It isn't fair to my beautiful wife, who should be loved beyond all;
and it isn't fair to my wonderful little son, who should have all of
my attention.
In the long night of darkness, when the dead and unholy creatures are
allowed to walk freely between the living, I did not hide like the
others did. I did not pray to the Valars that no evil spirit would
come to my home and hurt me. No... In my egoism I opened my door for
the shadows and called them to me, using the powerful words of old to
make them fulfill my wishes - and laughing and whispering they all
came...
But certainty and strength was in my voice, when I answered them.
I pretend to myself that you long for me, that it is the memory of
your lover from once that awakens your desire. But too greedy you
draw me to bed, too greedy your soft lips cover mine, while your cold
hands slide under my clothing to take it off.
"Give me warmth," you whisper with your siren like voice, "for I'm so
cold. Love me, make me feel alive..."
Thirsty, you drink the essence of my life, milking it from the heat
of my passion, to make you forget your cold and wet grave. Every kiss
a kiss of death, when your sweet lips steal the laboriously taken
breath from my mouth.
"Give me only one moment." I plead, exhausted and weak, my body
trembling and covered with sweat. "Come, just let me hold you in my
arms, love of my life."
Merciless, your fingers dig into my flesh to spur me on and you begin
to ride me with hard and fast thrusts of your hips.
My lips open to give a feebly, almost silent cry, and I spend myself
in you again.
By now, your body seems to burn, full of warmth, of life... But I am so
cold that it hurts.
I can already feel the wings of death, feel how I'm slowly fading,
totally consumed by you...
How does it come that I feel so weak? Have you drained me that much,
my Boromir?
the price for my egoism,
for breaking the rules of what should be.
Behind me, in the darkness of the room, I can feel the shadows move
and clearly I hear their quiet laughter...
