Dark Places
Mother Earth is holding her breath. I have always been surrounded by darkness,
by death, what makes this so different?
Why is it that I feel that something has broken inside of me, something that
never can be fixed? Despair is clawing its way through my body, this the worst
of pains, worse than what I have ever felt before. Tears are flowing endlessly
from my eyes, when I touch them they are warm. How can they be warm when
everything beneath my skin is ice?
I want to shake him, cling to him, demand that he comes back to me... Yet I
know...one does not return from the border he has crossed. It is one we all come
up against.
I must look like a mad man to them, cluthing this lifeless body to me, crying
and whispering worthless words of comfort. Oh yes, I feel them watching me,
quiet and still behind me.
The elf, Legolas, young even in elvish terms...he doesn't understand. My naked,
raw pain, my burning anger, it scares him. But the dwarf, Gimli... Whose people
dwell in the deep, dark places underneath the earth... He understands. I wonder
if he harbours such dark places in his mind as well.
I have walked so long in the shadows that they seem like friends to me now. My
mind and my heart holds deep, dark places for them to play in freely. They
gather there, growing eyes to stare back at me with, tempting me to come lose
myself in the vortex that is my own mind.
Why did you have to die like this?
Why must you leave so soon, my most beloved? I never even had the chance to tell
you...
Let me die with you, bring me with you into the darkness of what is waiting for
us on the other side. Just take my hand and I will follow you gladly. Don't you
leave me here, do you hear me!?
Oh but I know you are slipping away, even now as I cling to you. Gingerly I
touch your face, my body wrecked with sobs. Is there no stops to these tears?
I feel like destroying. I wish for thousand more orchs to strike at, to cut down
and maul. Touching your lips my fingers come away bloodied.
The sight of the red liquid staining my skin feels like a kick in the gut. I can
hear myself scream like a wild animal. Growling like a caged bear, I must be
free of this shackles.
I forsake thee, Aragorn, heir of Isildur. I forsake every other name given to
me. From now on I will simply be he who walks in eternal darkness, the seeker of
revenge.
I shall see no rest before this is avenged. Maybe then my sorrow will be eased.
I do not think so though.
This the mightiest of stabs... All I wish is to curl up next to your body, let
them bury us together.
Yet... I can not.
"They took the little ones..."
The sorrow in your voice, the fear for them. I know how much they meant to you,
how much you held them dear.
Don't feel any fear, my love, they will not suffer harm at the hands of the ones
responsible for taking you away from me. I will tear them out of the clutches of
Sarumann myself...
Sarumann...
The mere name an atrocity on my lips. The betrayer, the foulest of creatures...
Rest easily, my dearest. I will make him pay. He will know pain as greatly as
the one he inflicts on others.
Will I kill him?
Probably. Eventually. After I take everything away from him. After I see him
broken, humiliated, crumbled, beaten down... Destroyed.
Your wrist bracers are on my wrists now. Marked with your, our mark of our city.
It will be the last they see before my sword ends their life.
The joy in my life is dead now. I am dying slowly on the inside, a black, damp,
slick sickness that I welcome.
Come claim me, Death. But leave me the time to make things right first. Then I
will come willingly.
I stand, shivering like a lost child. But how can I leave?
Leave this man that is not only in my heart... Who is my heart...
Anger is prowling through me, coating my sight with smoldering fire. It would be
so delicious to give in, to kill, maim... To drown myself in the outwards
pain... Maybe then the internal pain wouldn't sting as badly.
But I have to keep it together. I am staring gleeful madness in the face, it is
beckoning me with long, white fingers. Behind the darkness is waiting,
patiently. It knows me a man of my words.
So rest well, my heart.
I will go live by the love of the sword now.
Wait for me, my love.
I will be coming soon.
by BlueKat
is skin is still warm to touch.
