The BLTS Archive - The Trouper
by Zoinky

---

Paramount owns all things Star Trek. I just borrow them for a bit for
my own use. I do not make a cent off this story.

---

Deanna watched as Beverly cleaned her plate. Her friend had been
listening politely, but it was obvious she was more interested in her
lunch than she was in Deanna's news. "I don't understand Beverly, I'm
discussing a professional touring company. I thought you would jump at
the opportunity, but you seem more concerned with your fruit."

"I am interested Deanna, and I'll  make an effort to see them while
they are here, but I don't have time to get involved with performing
right now. There is just too much on my plate."

"That's just it Beverly, you don't appear to have anything on your
plate right now."

Crusher gave Deanna a dirty look for her poor play on words.

"Sorry for the pun." Troi continued. "But I wasn't joking Beverly. The
past few weeks you have withdrawn from everything and every one."

"It's nothing ominous Deanna, I've just been busy."

"With what?" Troi asked. Her tone implied that the excuse had better
be good, or Beverly was going to find herself with a schedule of
regular appointments.

"I've started a new research project, okay? I haven't been
intentionally avoiding you."

Beverly could tell that Deanna wasn't satisfied so she expanded on her
explanation. A few weeks ago I found myself with some extra time on my
hands, so I started this project. Since then it has grown and expanded
and now I find myself quite caught up in it."

Beverly was telling the truth. Deanna relaxed just a little, but
wasn't going to let things slide completely. "I still think you need
to get out and socialize more. Are you coming to the poker games
tonight?"

Crusher shook her head no. "One of my experiments is at a critical
point, I need to be there tonight to observe."

"Okay," Troi sighed, "but don't think I'm going to give up on this.
You have got to start getting out more."

---

The poker game had just started when Captain Picard arrived. After
warm greetings, he took his place at the table. Deanna noticed that he
looked around the table and seemed a little disappointed that one face
in particular was missing.

After taking one hand from Will, and allowing Riker to win the next
three, Picard excused himself to get something to drink. Taking
advantage of the opportunity to speak to him, Deanna folded and joined
him at Will's makeshift bar. Giving him a greeting smile, Troi asked
in a voice too low for anyone else hear, "How are things going with
Anij?"

The Captain gave her a weak smile, and whispered back, "As far as I
know things are just the same with her. We haven't talked since I left
their world."

Deanna could sense an odd sadness to the Captain. A feeling of regret
and loss. She realized she had felt this once before in him. Right
after Nella transferred off the Enterprise. So, Deanna thought, he is
finally coming to terms with the fact his relationship with Anij is
finally over. She quickly changed the subject to Riker's skill at
cards, knowing that she would get no more information from Picard
about Anij in this setting.


The Captain and Beverly were still on her mind that night as she and
Will started to clean things up after the game. "Will, the Captain
seemed quiet tonight even for him." Deanna said as she placed the
dirty glasses in the replicator.

Over at the table placing the chips back in their tray Riker agreed.
"I think he came to the game tonight looking for Beverly. He looked
disappointed when he realized she wasn't here."

Deanna smiled, "So you noticed that too." Troi started folding up the
extra chairs.  Does the Captain ever speak of Anij?"

"He used to. The first few days after we left the Ba'ku world he made
references to her all the time, but I'm willing to bet he hasn't
mentioned her in a week. Are there problems between him and the
Doctor? Was he the reason Beverly didn't come tonight?"

"No, not really. She said she was working on a research project, but I
know that she and the Captain have been a little distant since Anij."
Shaking her head at her own inattention, Deanna continued, "She said
she started this project because she had some extra time on her hands.
Will, the Captain isn't the only one who has deserted her. I've let my
friendship with her slide too."

Riker came up and wrapped his arms around her. "Why is that, I
wonder?"

"I don't know." Deanna said as she snuggled in towards Will. "I guess
I just let myself become easily distracted."

---

Deanna was finding it difficult to concentrate on what Brian Keller
was saying to her. As the advance man for the touring company that was
coming on board in two weeks, he was trying to describe what kind of
facilities they would need for the auditions, rehearsals and for the
show itself. All Deanna could see was his eyes. Large, dark, slightly
hooded, with a twinkle, and little laugh lines to the side. Bedroom
eyes is what her mother would call them. Deanna had to agree. It would
be lovely waking up to those eyes in the morning.

Forcing her attention back to his requests for additional wing space,
her mind soon started to stray again. Tall, broad shoulders, narrow
hips, and a dancer's grace when he moved. He had a boyish smile and a
thick crop of straw colored hair that refused to stay in place.

Deanna placed him in his late thirties or early forties. Confident and
self assured, she could tell that he liked women, all women. He had a
charismatic style that drew her to him immediately. After managing to
make a notation on most of his needs, Troi offered to show him to his
quarters.

As they walked down the hall, Deanna noticed he was favoring his left
leg. "What happened?"

"I hurt it showing off. It's nothing really, I'm certain I'll be good
as new in a few days."

"Have you been to a doctor about it?"

"No, I'm afraid he'll tell me I'll have to stop dancing."

"That's silly, turn in here." Deanna said pointing to the door.

"That's Sick Bay!" Brian protested.

"Yes, and that's where probably the best dancer on board works. I
thought you might like to be introduced. And while you are charming
her into auditioning, she can look at your leg."

The emotional impact on Brian when he first saw Beverly was so strong,
Deanna was almost thrown back by the force. Brian quickly recovered
however and hobbled toward Beverly, allowing Deanna to make the
introductions. Helping him onto the bio bed, Deanna was pleased to
note that Beverly's reaction to Brian was very similar to her own, but
there was something more. Something very primal. Oh, what Deanna
wouldn't give for her mother's telepathic abilities at that moment.

Beverly ran her tricorder over his knee, then shut the instrument off.
With a smile that was totally out of place with her diagnosis she
broke the news to Brian.  "You have torn some ligaments. I'm afraid
they will not heal by themselves. You will have to have them fixed
surgically."

The dancer cringed and shot Deanna a look that said "I told you so."
"How long will that take Doctor?"

"You would have to be off the knee entirely for three days, then ten
days of rehab on it. If we do the surgery tomorrow, you should be
ready to join the troupe when they arrive in two weeks."

Brian was quiet a moment considering his schedule and how he would fit
this in with auditions. "Okay, I'll let you do the surgery tomorrow on
one condition. You have dinner with me tonight, Dr. Crusher, and we
will discuss further how you are going to cut me open."

Beverly reached over and touched his hand. "Call me Beverly. And you
have a date. Is 1900 hours okay with you?"

Deanna was so surprised by Beverly's easy acceptance she could have
been knocked over by a feather.

Sliding off the table carefully in deference to his knee, Brian gave a
victorious wink to the Counselor, "Now will you take me to my
quarters?"

As soon as the door to Sick Bay shut behind them, Deanna turned to
Brian just in time to catch his smile. "Okay, tell me what just
happened in there. And don't deny it, I'm empathic, I caught how you
were jolted when you first saw Beverly. What gives."

Brian flashed her that boyish smile again as if promising to tell her
a secret that was funny and embarrassing. "Deanna, do you remember
your first love?"

"Yes, he was a boy that went to my school. He didn't even know I
existed."

Brian nodded and chuckled. "I'm afraid the same is true about mine. At
least she didn't recognize me just now. Not that I blame her, you see
I was just a kid and she was...well ...grown."

Deanna looked over at him confused. "Let me explain" he volunteered.

"When I was 13 I hit a growth spurt and they moved me up from the
children's company into the adult company. I was clumsy and awkward,
but I was a guy and they could use me in the parts where you mostly
just stood there. A lot of the older members made fun of me, but there
was one woman who was patient and actually tried to teach me the right
way to do things."

"I of course was very flattered. The woman was very good. If she could
have devoted full time to her dancing, she would have been one of the
stars, but she was going to school most of the time and only dancing
when she could."

"I fell hopelessly in love with her. She had beautiful long red hair
and danced like she was being supported by angels. I longed for the
day when I would grow tall enough to be partnered with her. I could
just imagine her in my arms, how she would feel moving against me. I
have to admit I stayed awake many nights just creating dances in my
head and imagining how she would look in them. Unfortunately I never
got the chance to show them to her."

"My first year in the company was her last year of college. When she
graduated, she had to make the decision between medical school and
dance. She chose medical school. Even though I didn't see her much any
more, I never forgot about her. In my fantasies I kept hoping she
would flunk out of medical school and rejoin the company. Just about
the time I had grown enough to be her partner, I heard she had married
a Star Fleet Officer. I admit that was a set back, but it didn't kill
my interest entirely."

Deanna was enjoying the story. It was interesting to see Beverly from
such a different perspective. "But something did evidently."

Brian nodded yes. "I had just finished performing my first real lead.
She had been in the audience, and when it was over came around to the
back door to congratulate me. I barely recognized her. She was very
pregnant, her face and feet were swollen, and she lumbered when she
walked. Every bit of grace was gone. I hope I accepted her praise
graciously because I really can't remember much about that meeting."

Brian looked embarrassed by the adolescent trauma. "I was horrible
Deanna, I was disillusioned and disappointed. Filled with stupid
teenage angst. I went home that night and replaced her in every one of
my fantasies. I did such a thorough job, I had forgotten about her
entirely until just now."

Brain envisioned her from their recent meeting. "She is still very
beautiful you know. She looks almost the same as I first remembered
her.  I suppose she is still married."

Troi shook her head no. "Her husband was killed about five years after
you last saw her. She never remarried."

"Does she still dance?"

"Yes, but not often. Her dancing is a big secret. She never performs
in public and only occasionally will she let herself indulge in the
holodeck. What are you thinking? I have to warn you that I've already
told her about the auditions and she turned the idea down cold."

Brian flashed her that smile again and with a wink answered, "You just
leave it up to me. I think I can get her to come around, and after
all, I have a personal interest in this now too. I have an entire
collection of dances I want her to try out."

---

Deanna joined Will that night for dinner in his quarters. Lingering
over the dessert, Troi told him about the meeting between Brian and
Beverly in Sick Bay.

"It was incredible Will. I've heard of the expression about sparks
seeming to fly between two people, but until today I had never
actually seen it happen. And what is even more amazing is that he
asked her out to dinner and she actually accepted. You know how uneasy
she is around people she doesn't know."

"But you said Brian knew her from a long time ago." Riker replied
remembering how formal she was with him the first few times they met.

"Yes, but she didn't recognize him, that I'm certain of. Brian was
able to get past her reserve without the least bit of effort."

"I have got to meet this guy and shake his hand." Riker said with a
grin, then paused a moment and uttered "Uh-oh."

"What is it?"

"Well in all the excitement, I forgot to tell you a little bit of
gossip I picked up today. Captain Picard has withdrawn his request for
leave on the Ba'ku planet. I have a feeling things aren't going too
well between him and Anij."

Deanna sat back in her chair. "I was afraid of this. I knew he seemed
disturbed about me mentioning her last night. Did he tell you this
himself, or did you find it out in a report?"

"A report."

"Then keep it to yourself. You know how he is about his private life.
I just hope he doesn't view this as an opportunity to start things
back up again with Beverly. She's been through enough watching him
move from one woman to another. It's time for her to have crack at
that game and I don't want him to mess things up for her.

---

Beverly had to admit it had been quite a while since she had enjoyed
herself so much at dinner. Brian didn't seem to have more than a
superficial interest in his upcoming surgery. Instead they talked
about his work and theatre and dance in general. Beverly felt the
years melt away, and the interest she once had start to surface.

"I was interested in dance once myself, when I was much younger."
Beverly said as she turned the page in his scrapbook. "In fact it was
a pretty hard decision for me to make, whether I wanted to be a dancer
or a doctor. I just couldn't seem to commit to one or the other until
I was forced to. Finally when I graduated from college I ran out of
time."

"And you chose medicine." Brian offered not unkindly.

"And I chose medicine." Beverly turned another page. "I've never
regretted that decision, medicine was the right choice for me, but
still there has always been a part of me that wants to be a dancer."

"You still could be."

Beverly looked up at Brian surprised. "At my age? You have got to be
kidding."

"No, I'm not. Okay, you probably couldn't make it as a prima
ballerina, I'll grant you that, but there are still several styles of
dance that you can do and could continue to do for many more years. If
you only would try."

Beverly shook her head in disbelief.

"Okay, so you don't believe me. I'll tell you what I'll do. I
challenge you, Beverly Crusher. I challenge you to prove me wrong. I'm
a pretty good judge of talent. I want you to partner with me during my
rehab. If you can't cut it, I'll be honest with you, then we will both
know. If you can, then I'll offer you a place in my company."

Beverly looked at him amazed. "You're serious aren't you?"

"Yes. Tell me you will at least try."

Brian was so charming and so endearing, Beverly couldn't refuse him.
"Okay, I accept your challenge.

---

Beverly rushed around her quarters the next morning getting ready for
work. The whole time her mind was rehashing the conversation from the
night before. She still couldn't believe she had agreed to go back
into training. Or for that matter the amount of control Brian seemed
to have over her. What had she been thinking?

Her internal dialogue was interrupted by a page from Captain Picard.

"Beverly, I know it is late to ask, but would you care to join me for
breakfast?"

Gathering up a shoe and struggling to put it on, she managed to choke
out, "I'm sorry, Jean-Luc, I would love to, but I'm due in surgery in
ten minutes, can we make it another time?"

"Yes, of course, I'll put my request in a little sooner. Picard out."

"That's just great," Beverly muttered as she headed out the door. "I
don't hear from him for two months and then he's upset because I can't
join him at a moment's notice. Well, get over it, Jean-Luc."


Crusher had forgotten all about the incident by the staff meeting that
afternoon. Arriving late, she slipped into a chair directly across
from Deanna just as the Counselor was beginning to read the list of
requirements Brian had given her.

"The auditions for some of the minor parts will be tomorrow morning,
providing of course that Mr. Keller is up to it."

Beverly smiled at the mention of Brian's name. She nodded her head at
Deanna to let her know that things had gone well.

The Captain caught the interchange and asked "Is there a problem?"

"No, not really." Beverly explained, "I had to perform some minor
surgery on his knee this morning, but he came through it fine. He
should have no trouble attending the auditions tomorrow morning,
though he will be on crutches."

Picard found himself bothered by her expression. She seemed to show a
little more interest in Keller's case than he would have expected. He
was considering the reasons why when he realized the room had grown
quiet. Covering quickly he asked, "Very well, does anyone have
anything else to add?"

When no one spoke up, the Captain dismissed the meeting. Beverly stood
with everyone else and was about to leave when Jean-Luc called out to
her. Waiting until everyone else had left, she walked slowly over to
him.

"I'm sorry I couldn't make it to breakfast the morning."

"Well, I should have given you a little more advance warning."

Beverly didn't say anything, hoping he would extend the invitation
again for the next morning. Instead the Captain had a different idea.
"Have dinner with me tonight."

Crusher's heart sank. She was going to have to refuse him twice in one
day. "I can't tonight. I've already made plans with Brian to review
the auditioners. I've worked with most of these people before, and I
can give him an idea of what to expect."

Jean-Luc took her rejection with less grace than was his custom. The
disappointment was obvious in his face, along with a touch of anger.
"Beverly, we just don't see each other very much anymore."

"I know, Jean-Luc, I know. I guess we both have been busy." Feeling a
little guilty, Beverly tried to show that she was still concerned
about him. "How are things going with you and Anij? Have you heard
anything new from her?"

The Captains jaw tightened. Beverly realized she had somehow said the
wrong thing. "What's the matter, is something wrong?"

"No, nothing. Things with Anij are just the same as they have always
been."

"I see." Answered Crusher, now more confused than ever before. There
was a long silence between them, which caused them both embarrassment.
"Well, if there's nothing else, Captain, I suppose I should return to
Sick Bay. I need to make certain that Brian has recovered from the
surgery enough to send him back to his quarters."

Picard continued to be silent. Beverly accepted the nod of his head as
consent, and fled from the observation lounge as soon as possible.

---

That evening Will and Deanna were sharing a quiet drink in Ten
Forward. Will had wanted to remain in his quarters but Deanna had been
insistent, saying they were spending much too much time isolated from
everyone else. Giving in only temporarily, Riker had agreed to a
drink, but he was in the process of convincing Deanna they had been on
display long enough when Captain Picard approached their table.

Taking the empty chair Deanna pointed to, Picard quickly realized he
had interrupted a private time. "I apologize for the intrusion, but
I've gotten tired of my own company. Usually I just sit around my
quarters reading in the evening."

"Perhaps you need to find a hobby Captain, say knitting." Riker
muttered under his breath, only to receive a sharp kick in the ankle
from Troi.

After the waiter had taken his drink order, the Captain realized he
had better get to the point. Will wasn't in the mood for casual
socialization. "Counselor, can you tell me any more about this touring
company?"

"What would you like to know, Captain? They are a Star Fleet
sanctioned and promoted company. We are the tenth ship on their
fifteen ship tour. They have received only praise from the other ships
they have visited. Brian Keller has been the head of the troupe for
the last four years and seems to be very adept at managing it."

"Do you know anything more about this man Keller?" Picard asked,
hoping his tone sounded like that of a concerned ship captain and not
something else. He didn't fool Troi for a second.

"Officially he is forty-one years old. Educated and raised on Earth.
Began dancing as a child. Has worked with some of the most prestigious
dance companies on Earth. He decided to enter the managerial side when
age started to take away from his dancing skills."

"Unofficially, he is one of the most charming and sexy men I have ever
seen and I could throttle Beverly for not mentioning him sooner."

"Dr. Crusher knows this man? I mean before he came aboard the
Enterprise." Picard asked failing to keep the alarm from his voice.

"Well, yes and no. The two of them were in the same dance company for
a year. Brian was just barely a teenager, while Beverly was a college
senior. She took him under her wing and Brian developed quite a crush
on her. Beverly left the company to enter medical school, and Brian
continued maturing after she left. She didn't recognize him when they
were introduced, and I still don't think she's made the connection
yet."

"I see." Picard muttered, his mind racing over the possibilities. He
knew that Beverly had danced in her youth. Jack had mentioned it on
more than one occasion, but he didn't realize she had reached the
level of professional expertise. And this Brian was also a problem.
Here was a man whose acquaintance with Beverly was even longer lived
than his own. A man who acknowledged to Deanna, at least, that he once
had feelings for her.

Downing his drink in one gulp, Picard pushed himself back from the
table. Deanna could sense his concern. "Captain, Beverly is a big
girl. She is very capable of taking care of herself."

Picard nodded and headed for the door. That is not what he wanted to
hear.

---

The Captain chose to return to his quarters via a circuitous route,
taking the corridor that passed by Beverly's quarters in the off
chance that he might see her. He had just rounded the corner when he
caught sight of Beverly and Brian at the far end of the corridor.

Brian, moving slowly on the unfamiliar crutches, caught a tip on the
carpet and started to fall. Beverly reached out to steady him, but
Brian had too much momentum, he fell into her, pinning her between
himself and the wall. After a chuckle and a few softly spoken words,
Picard could hear, but not understand, Brian took advantage of the
situation. He pressed his body to hers and kissed her.  Picard felt
his stomach tighten and his muscles tense. He didn't stay around to
see if Beverly responded. He didn't want to know. Retracing his steps,
he returned to his quarters by the normal route.

---

For the next two days while Brian was busy with auditions, Beverly
worked hard on her research project, making certain no critical parts
would be left hanging should she not get back to it for a while. And
she worked on her own physical conditioning. It had been a while since
she had tried to dance seriously and she knew she had lost some of her
flexibility.

Beverly set Brian up for her last patient of the day. She scheduled
his rehab session for the holodeck, thinking a dance setting would be
more comfortable for him. Although she had planned out what she
intended to cover with him, her attention was really focused on her
research project. That is until she walked in.

Brain had arrived before her and programmed in their old rehearsal
studio. It was just how she remembered it. A large open room with a
mirrored wall. The wooden floor with just the right amount of spring,
the sweat stained exercise bars. The smell of old perfume, mingling
with the honeysuckle growing outside the window. She inhaled deeply as
a flood of memories surfaced, each anxious to be relived.

"How did you know?" she asked. "This program is absolutely perfect. It
was my last rehearsal studio."

"Because it was my studio too."

She closely examined his face, seeing if there was any part of it she
recognized. "It was?"

Brian nodded his head. "I was there with you. For a while at least.
I'm afraid I've changed a lot since then. I was just barely old enough
when I joined the company. I was shy, awkward, clumsy, bad skin. You
took me under your wing and helped me."

The room helped jog her memory, taking her back all those years.
"Brian. Brian Keller, of course. Little Brian. I remember you. You
joined my final year with the company." She looked at the man in front
of her with a new interest. "You have certainly aged well."

"So have you, Beverly." Brian answered, the admiration obvious in both
his look and his tone.

Beverly blushed, and changed the subject, "Well perhaps we should get
on with our work out. I don't want you to put too much weight on that
knee just yet. We will exercise it a little today, but mostly I want
us to work on the rest of your body to make sure you don't lose your
strength and flexibility."

She ordered up a brace to support his knee, then led him through a
series of stretches, working as his partner in some of them. She found
herself working much harder on them with him than she ever did with
Deanna and was surprised to find how good her body felt being pushed
like it was. It was as if her old strength never left her. That is
until she cramped.

Unused to the additional stress, the muscles in her calf knotted, and
she tumbled to the floor in agony. Limping over himself, Brian sat
down  on the floor next to her and, with a skill developed over many
years, started massaging her leg.

The pain stopped within a few seconds, but Beverly didn't say a thing.
Brian's hands felt so good, so strong as they worked on her leg. She
found that she had missed the physical contact almost as much as the
dancing. Without intending to, Beverly found herself drifting off,
wondering what those hands would feel like if they were rubbing other
parts of her body. Would they be as gentle, as comforting?

Brian watched her face as her eyes closed and a small smile played
across her lips. This was an expression he had imagined all those
years ago. He changed the pressure of his massage, making the strokes
longer, more sensual. He wasn't going to push his luck, not yet; he
was just going to bring her to the very edge, make her long for more.
He wanted her to come to him, not drive her away.

Trying to sound like he was unaware of what he was doing to her, he
started to speak. "You still have most of your flexibility. I think
with a little work you could still be a very fine dancer. Your skills
don't appear to have diminished much and they will return with
practice. I want you to try a few routines with me. I remember a few
pieces from my early days with the company where I don't have to do
much but stand there."

"Right, let me do all the work." She said sarcastically. "From where I
sit, it doesn't look like I'm very flexible, I think this is all a
waste of time."

"No it's not," Brian said, trying his best to be convincing.
"Remember, we are here to rehab my knee. This other is just part of
that job. You have nothing to prove to anyone. Do you remember the
piece 'Seduction'?

Crusher rolled her eyes as she tried to recall. "I think so, a few
parts of it, at least."

"Good." Brian said as he carefully lifted himself off the floor.
"Let's try that one. I don't have to be too mobile in the first part,
but it's enough to give me some idea of how far I have to go in my
recovery."

Beverly stood up and walked over to the side of the room. Brian took
his position in the center and then called for the music. Crusher
allowed herself to get caught up in the first few strains, imagining
her body as part of the music, flowing with it. She glided out across
the floor, toward Brian's waiting arms. She moved and darted around
him. This part of the dance was a seductive tease on her part. Brian's
character was choreographed to stand there and take it until the end
when he was supposed to seize her, lift her up and carry her off into
the wings.

Crusher had performed this routine dozens of times with several
different partners during her time at the studio but never had it been
like it was this time with Brian. Although he stayed within the
choreography, he didn't stand there idle like a disinterested lump as
so many of the boys had years before. He allowed the music to flow
through him, he responded to it and to her. He did what the boys
couldn't or wouldn't do. He acted. Brian let his body and face express
the character's desire and his reactions to her teasing.

At first Beverly was surprised by this unexpected response and
attention, but as the dance progressed, Crusher found herself feeding
off of it. His reaction was pushing Beverly to try even harder. She
allowed her touch to last a little longer, she moved even closer to
him, letting her body brush against his at times and was rewarded by
the pleading look in his eyes. More, he seemed to beg, please give me
more. She would softly stroke his cheek, but when he reached up to
touch her, she would dance away. Always promising, but never following
through. Her body at a distance, taunting, beckoning, symbolically
displaying what making love to her would be like. This wasn't the
young half-starved body of years ago. Beverly was now fully matured
with curves and angles absent before.  Brian watched, and like the
character he was playing, craved ever more of her touch.

Finally the end of the dance drew near. Beverly moved to the farthest
point on the floor, but instead of making the run as choreographed,
she marked her steps up to the point where he was supposed to lift her
and then she stopped. For a moment the two of them stood eye to eye,
panting and breathless, as close as they could be without touching.
There was an electrical field between them almost palpable to the
touch, holding them in place. Then the music ended and the spell was
broken.

Beverly stepped back, unable to explain what had just happened, and
slightly uncomfortable with it. She walked over and picked up a towel,
drying the sweat from her body in an effort to hide the confusion.

Brian limped over and grabbed a towel of his own. "You are still quite
good." he remarked, making sure he maintained a casual tone. With a
little work you could be back up to par. You really should think about
taking up dancing again."

Beverly was still trying to cover her discomfort and in the process
tried to back out of everything she had promised the night before. "I
don't have time Brian. The Sick Bay and my research take up most of my
time. I can't make the commitment that dancing would require. Besides,
while I was in Med School they called me the Dancing Doctor. I hated
that title and did my best to dump it. I wouldn't want to resurrect it
again."

"Beverly you have a gift, a talent, and it would be a shame to waste
it, especially because it is so fleeting anyway. I'm not talking about
something you do in the evenings after work. You tried that in
college. It wasn't enough then and it certainly isn't enough now that
you have laid off a while. I want you to think about making a total
commitment of a few years. If it doesn't work, then go back to
medicine. It will still be there. The dancing will not."

Uncertain what to say, Beverly glanced around the room once again. She
had loved the time she spent here in spite of the hard work and
sometimes pain. She remembered how hard the decision to leave had been
to make. Losing some of her negative resolve, she spoke, quietly at
first. "Brian, I just don't know. Even if I do decide to make the
break, who would hire me at my age?"

Brian's simple response spoke volumes. "I told you I would."

He knew Crusher hadn't expected that response, and coming so soon
after their brief connection while dancing, he knew she might
misinterpret it. "Beverly, I have faith in you, even if you don't have
faith in yourself. But if you need proof, if you need to know that you
can do this, then work with me. Let's do the Seduction number we just
rehearsed in the performance for the ship. Not just the first part
like now, but the whole thing. If by that time you still aren't
convinced then I'll let the matter drop, no hard feelings on either
side."

Tormented that this decision had come up once again Beverly threw down
her towel and picked up her bag. "I'll have to think about it Brian.
You'll have to let me have some time."

Grabbing her arm to make sure she didn't walk away, he waited until
she looked at him before speaking. "You know where I'll be. Either
rehearsing the new people or in my quarters."

Beverly nodded and fled from the holodeck. Still reeling from her
encounter with Brian, she wasn't exactly thrilled to find a message
from the Captain waiting for her when she returned to her quarters.
Good to his word, he had given her a little more advanced notice
before inviting her to breakfast.

---

Picard looked at Beverly carefully as she sat across the table from
him. He had a hard time remembering when he had ever seen her look
quite this tired and tense. He wanted to find a way to make her open
up, but a lot of the closeness to their relationship was gone. He had
noticed it immediately.

In the past, when she joined him for breakfast, she had let herself
in, putting the final touches on the meal if he was still in the
shower or getting dressed.  This morning she had announced herself and
then waited patiently in the hall for him to let her in. All through
the meal she had been quiet and withdrawn. They had shared none of
their usual camaraderie or chatter and Picard found himself missing
that most of all. How had he allowed this to happen? Why did he allow
them to become so distant.

"A penny?"

Beverly drawn out of her self examination looked up surprised. "What?"

"A penny. That is a phrase we used to use with each other, several
months ago remember?"

For a moment Beverly seemed to be considering something then she
answered teasing him. "Yes, I think you are right. I do seem to recall
something about a penny." Then on a more sober note she continued.
"I'm sorry, Jean-Luc, I'm not very good company today."

"Do you want to talk about it. I seem to recall I was once a pretty
good listener."

Beverly sighed and examined his face as if trying to decide whether
she really wanted to open herself up to him and then damningly decided
she didn't. The connection with him was no longer there. "That was a
lifetime ago, Jean-Luc, things change, situations change."

"I am still your friend."

"Yes, but even that has changed. You have other concerns now and so do
I."

Although there was sadness in his face, Jean-Luc nodded in agreement
with her comment. "I know. The man from the touring company, Brian
Keller.  I saw him kissing you in the hall."

Beverly dropped her head, half expecting a lecture on impropriety.
Instead his tone was more gentle than expected. "It may not be any of
my business Beverly, but this relationship with Brian doesn't seem to
be making you very happy. I can't help but wonder if it is a mistake."

Crusher looked up at him, a little angry. Since when did Jean-Luc care
about whether or not she was happy in a relationship. "It's not Brian
that's making me unhappy Jean-Luc, as much as it is what he represents
and what he is offering."

"And what is that?"

"A different way of life."

Despite her intention not to draw Jean-Luc into her problem, she
started to explain. "I danced some when I was in college, but stopped
when I entered med school. Brian is trying to convince me that I made
a mistake in stopping. He thinks I'm still good enough to be a
professional dancer."

"And what do you think?" Picard asked, realizing that the problem with
Beverly went far deeper than just a new lover.

"I don't know what to think Jean-Luc. I like being a doctor. It is my
profession and I'm happy with it, but ever since I made the decision
to give up dance, a part of me has always wondered what it would have
been like had I continued. Brian has tapped into that. It's like he's
placed himself in the middle of several parts of my life that have
been inactive and wanting, and has drawn my attention back to them.  I
feel like Brian is standing there with a shiny new toy, just tempting
me to come play with him."

Phrased that way, the Captain could see how she would be torn, but he
wasn't going to give up without a fight. "What about your work here on
the Enterprise?" Picard asked. "It is important too, you know."

Beverly nodded. "Yes, but medicine will always be there. The amount of
time I can physically attempt dance is limited."

Picard got up from the table, he felt compelled to move around, to
take at least some sort of action. "What about Brian himself, Beverly?
From what I saw last night, he seems to have quite an effect on you.
Is your attraction to this man making your decision harder?"

That was the first time Beverly ever considered that possibility.
Dance itself had been the motivating factor up until now, still she
couldn't completely discount the connection she felt to Brian. Shaking
her head at her inability to give him a definite answer, she simply
responded, "I don't know."

"Well, perhaps you should find out." Picard said almost snidely. You
wouldn't want to give up your job for the wrong reasons."

Crusher looked up at him surprised at his tone. That was the first
time during their conversation that Jean-Luc had betrayed any emotion
at all and now he sounded almost jealous. Why should he care if she
decided she wanted a lover? He certainly never consulted her.

Picard saw her shocked expression and instantly regretted his last
response. Trying to put his outburst in a more rational light, he
continued. "Beverly, he is asking you to make a decision that could
change the course of your life. Don't you owe it to yourself to have
all the facts before you make that decision."

"Yes, of course." Beverly started to gather her things together in
preparation to leave. She didn't like the way this conversation was
going. She wanted a friend to act as a sounding board, instead, the
Captain was making her feel like a half-witted child.  It had been a
mistake to discuss this with Jean-Luc. Far from being the help she had
hoped for, the Captain had made her feel even more conflicted. Now she
felt like she had to deal with her attraction to Brian also. "I need
to report for duty. Thank you for the breakfast, Captain."

---

One look at Beverly's face when she entered the holodeck that
afternoon for rehab warned Brian that he better not press the issue of
her returning to dance today. Instead he concentrated on making his
performance better.

He and Beverly went through the warm up exercises, then he applied the
brace and hobbled out to the center of the floor. He started marking
out the various parts of the dance, actually putting effort in those
parts he was able to do.

Once Beverly realized what he was doing, she took her position on the
floor, watching him work more than actually participating. Even with
his motion limited, he was a joy to watch.

Stripped to the waist, she watched the play in the muscles of his
chest. How they seemed to glisten as he built up a sweat from
exertion. His stomach was flat, and when he extended his arms, it
washboarded and she could see the movement of his ribs. His tights
clung to him like a second skin as they too became soaked, showing off
his well developed thighs and more. She wondered if he worked out
trying to increase his muscle mass and then decided no. He was too
flexible for that. His physique had developed from years of dance.

Brian knew she was watching him with more than just an interest in the
dance. He started placing more of himself in the choreography. The
second section of the dance called for the roles to be reversed. This
time the woman remained basically motionless, while the man moved
around her.

Extending himself to the best of his ability, he danced around her.
Slow, seductive, almost hypnotic, the dance called his partner to him.
He displayed his passion through sensual movement, arms extended,
flexing. Hands, never touching her, but somehow managing to stroke her
body, his face showing delight at how satisfying that contact felt.
His thighs slowly undulating, thrusting, an unhurried deep movement at
first, becoming more rapid and insistent as the dance continued.

Beverly became captured by his spell once again. Her heart beating
faster in time to the music. Her breathing coming in short, ragged
bursts. Watching Brian excited her and she couldn't deny it. As he
moved closer, she reached out for him, trying to draw him to her, but
just as she had the day before, Brian moved away, still encouraging,
still enticing her to follow him. But she couldn't, and out of sheer
frustration her character started to weep.

Moving closer to her once more to comfort her, Brian took her face
between his hands to kiss her, gently at first but, as the dance
segment ended and the music faded away, the kiss deepened. Their
bodies molded themselves to the other, arms and legs entwined, until
with the last dying note, the seduction was complete.

Brian and Beverly remained that way for several seconds in the silent
holodeck, neither wishing to break the contact, but neither certain
they wanted or should continue. Finally Brian, seeing the doubt in
Beverly's eyes stepped back, trying to pretend he hadn't seen the
desire there at all.

"I think that should be all for today. My knee is starting to feel a
little tired, I think perhaps I should rest it."

Beverly, regaining some of her composure, nodded. "Yes, that would
probably be for the best. You don't want to overdo this early on." She
walked over and picked up a towel, wiping away the sheen that had
developed on her own skin, but not the faint blush. There was silence
for a moment between them.

Afraid that he had gone too far, too fast, Brian called out softly,
"You'll be here again tomorrow won't you Beverly?"

Not trusting her own voice, Beverly nodded and left the holodeck.

---

Beverly's body was starting to protest all the extra effort she had
put out over the past few days. Adding achy muscles to her exhaustion
didn't improve her mood. She had curled up on her couch after dinner,
hoping to relax and drift off to sleep. Deanna's arrival at her door
wasn't a welcome interruption.

Forcing her complaining muscles to function once more, Beverly hobbled
over to the replicator to get them something to drink. Deanna tried to
hide her smile at her friends plight. She graciously accepted the cup
and then got down to business. "Captain Picard thought you might like
to talk. He said you were troubled at breakfast this morning and that
his attempts to help weren't well accepted."

Beverly rolled her eyes. "I wasn't very happy with him when I left.
That's for sure."

Tucking her feet up under and making herself more comfortable Deanna
asked sympathetically, "What happened?"

Beverly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Oh, he invited me to
breakfast like we always used to do. Only this time I was distracted
during the meal. He volunteered to listen to my problems, but instead
of giving me answers, he ended up giving me more questions than when I
started. And then he got angry."

Deanna stared at the small bits of tea floating in her cup, debating
how much of the Captain's behavior she should explain to Beverly. "I
think you should know the Captain is having a hard time dealing with
you and Brian. This is the first time you've become involved with
someone he considers a real threat"

If Deanna hadn't been an empath, Beverly would have laughed in her
face. "That's absurd. My relationship with Brian revolves solely
around dance. Besides, why would Jean-Luc care one way or the other.
He's got his own relationship with Anij."

"That's over Beverly. The distance and lack of communication was too
great to overcome. The Captain has cancelled his request for leave."

Beverly stared down at her hands, not certain how to react. She knew
she should be happy but she was tired of the on again, off again
treatment she was always getting from Jean-Luc. "I'm sorry" she
finally replied. "I know he must be hurting right now."

"Perhaps some, but not because of Anij. He's more concerned with you
and Brian. The Captain said you were thinking of leaving the ship.
He's afraid you are falling in love with him. Have you?"

Crusher rearranged herself awkwardly on the couch. "Dammit Deanna, you
are beginning to sound like the Captain. I don't need any more
questions."

"Are you?" Deanna asked persistently.

"I don't know!" Beverly cried out, her thoughts and emotions awash in
turmoil.

Drawing her knees up to her chest as if they could give her some
protection, Beverly struggled to continue. "Deanna I find him
attractive." Then with a cynical laugh she amended, "I find him very
attractive. When I'm with him I keep wondering what it would be like
to make love with him. But there is more to it than that. He's the
best dance partner I've every had. He brings out the best in me. I've
watched myself in the mirror, and when I dance with him, I'm far
better than I ever thought I could be. But do I have romantic feelings
for him? No, I don't think so. My attraction is more physical than
emotional."

"Do you plan to leave the ship with him?"

"Brian seems to think that if I commit myself to it, I can dance
professionally again." Crusher responded still trying to hide her own
doubts.

"What do you think?"

With a sigh, Beverly finally responded. "I think I owe it to myself to
at least try. I do love dance, Deanna. When I made my decision before,
it was either dance or medicine. I couldn't train for both, but now,
for a short time at least, it may be possible. I need to find out for
certain. Just for me."

Deanna studied her friend. Beverly was approaching this decision
cautiously, but Troi still felt the need to warn her. "Make certain it
is your own advice you listen to, your own feelings that you follow.
Others may have ulterior motives."

Crusher nodded. "I know, like the advice Jean-Luc tried to offer
today."

"It's not just the Captain. Brian also has something at stake. Your
reappearance has given him the opportunity to live out some teenage
fantasies. You were his first love, Beverly, and he has never
forgotten you. His opinions about your abilities may not be as
unbiased as you think."

Crusher closed her eyes in embarrassment and disbelief. No wonder he
had been so encouraging to her. Beverly felt almost as if her world
was crashing down around her. Deanna felt the mood shift and responded
immediately to correct the damage. "Beverly, I'm not saying his
judgement is wrong. You yourself said you were dancing far better than
you thought you could. Just don't allow him to be the sole arbiter of
your destiny."

"Deanna, I know you are trying to help, but you just made matters
worse."

"You are having trouble making this decision because you are attacking
the entire problem as a whole. You need to break different parts of it
out and view it without the emotional attachments. When you work on
your dance, treat it as if it were your job. Step back and view it
like it were a patient with a disease and take the appropriate steps
to treat it. Don't allow Brian, or your feelings about him affect how
you work or how you need to improve.

Beverly nodded. For once some of the advice made sense. Resolving to
herself she would take a more businesslike approach to her dancing,
she felt for the first time in days some of the confusion fading away.

---

Seven days had passed since Deanna's discussion with Beverly. Crusher
had thrown herself whole-heartedly into preparation for the
performance. Brian had noticed Crusher's change in attitude
immediately. She was all business from the second she hit the studio
floor until she left. A little bothered at first, Brian began to
appreciate the change. Beverly's work ethic was starting to rub off on
him, and he was reaping the results. His knee was improving at a much
faster rate, giving him more mobility. Although he was hesitant at
first, uncertain how Beverly would respond, he started suggesting
changes to the routine they were working on in an effort to highlight
their talents and update the piece. When Beverly responded favorably
to the change, her realized he had inadvertently hit upon a way to
forward his social contact with her.

Crusher had insisted that their studio time be strictly for work, so
they had fallen into the habit of having dinner in Ten Forward
following the rehearsals. There they would discuss the changes they
wanted to make and choreography in general. Beverly found herself
enjoying these discussions and often became very animated during a
difference of opinion, forgetting her own private promise to keep
things strictly professional between her and Brian. Brian would just
smile or sometimes good-naturedly mimic her to egg her on, treasuring
these moments when she was relaxed around him.

They had been in Ten Forward for thirty minutes, their food forgotten
and growing cold in front of them while their discussion continued to
heat up. Brian had proposed changes to the last sequence that Beverly
felt pushed the limit. As she tried to defend her position, her cheeks
took on a rosy glow and a sparkle shone from her eyes. The overall
effect was stunning and Brian, enjoying himself and the view, did his
best to see that she remained that way. "I think you should give it a
try at least, Beverly. After all, if it doesn't work, we can always
change it back."

Beverly shook her head in disapproval, "We open in three days, Brian.
We need to get this routine nailed down. We don't have time to keep
making changes."

Seeing an opportunity to tease her just a little more, Brian asked,
"Are you scared of the time, Beverly, or of the choreography?"

Refusing to take the bait, Crusher responded "Both. Brian, this
choreography may look good using the young women you are used to
working with, but with an old lady like me, it's just going to look
silly."

"That's where you are wrong Beverly, don't you think for one second
that your sexuality has diminished even an iota with your age. I can
envision you doing this choreography and your maturity is what is
going to raise it above the ordinary. You are still a very sexy woman,
Beverly Crusher, and by the time the dance is over you are going to
have every male in the audience squirming in his seat and wishing he
were me."

This blatant flattery caused Beverly to blush even more. She reached
over and touched Brian's arm. It was at this moment that Jean-Luc
Picard entered Ten Forward, his attention drawn immediately by her red
hair. He saw the blush and what he interpreted as a tender caress.
Turning on his heel, he quickly left the room, bumping into Will and
Deanna on his way out. Shocked by the intensity of his emotions,
Deanna watched until he entered the turbolift.

---

Beverly stood in the wings, her heart starting to race. This rehearsal
was supposed to be the first full run through, but the rest of the
touring company had been delayed by engine trouble. Brian had decided
to go ahead with the rehearsal even with a partial cast, knowing that
this group could use an audience, even a small one. He had asked
Deanna to gather a few people to watch.

As the lights started to fade, the cue for their number, Brian gave
Beverly's hand a squeeze then went out to take his position on the
stage in the dark. Beverly entered with the lights and music.

Slowly, almost stalking, she began her dance. A glance over the
shoulder, a toss of her head. The alluring motion of her arms as she
tried to draw Brian into her web. Brian remained in one spot but
managed to portray how sorely tempted he was to go to her. Beverly
moved closer running her hands down the sides of his body, promising,
teasing and then drawing away again. Brian's body seemed to shake with
desire, but still he remained fixed. Beverly danced a kiss, a caress,
a moment of longing and then the first touch. The first movement ended
as it had before -- driven beyond his endurance, Brian finally left
his spot, lifted her into the air and carried her off the stage as the
lights and music faded.

Seconds later the lights came back up. Where the music behind
Beverly's dance had been light, almost ethereal, the music behind
Brian was deep and driving. Low earthy tones, with a slow rhythm that
increased as the song progressed. He moved around her, displaying his
body for her approval. His bare muscular chest accented by the lights.
Narrow hips and tight buttocks offered for her approval, much like the
mating dances of several species. At first Beverly completely ignored
his efforts, but as his activity increased, becoming more involved and
suggestive, she would steal a glance over every now and then,
signifying her approval for what she saw. Finally in the end, Brian's
hips thrusting with the beat of the drum, she turned and openly
admired him. Crossing to him, she stood in front of him. Arms draped
over his shoulders, at first her body moved at counterpoint to his,
then began revolving slowly, her movements coming into sync with his.
She had symbolically turned into the vessel to receive his gift.

This time when the lights faded, Picard moved uncomfortably in his
chair. He hadn't wanted to come to this rehearsal, but at the same
time he couldn't stay away. Beverly's performance had been
spellbinding. Far more sensual than anything he had even seen her do
before, more sensual than he had ever permitted himself to imagine her
being. What concerned him most was the way she worked with Brian.
There was no denying there was a sense of animal magnetism between
them. Jean-Luc found himself wishing that he was the one on stage with
her, or in bed with her, eliciting that response.

Deanna was picking up Picard's feelings and enjoying every minute of
his discomfort. Perhaps this time, should Beverly decide to stay, the
Captain would give her a little more consideration before he decided
to become involved with another woman. As the lights faded for the
final movement, Deanna steeled herself against the feelings she knew
this ending segment would evoke.

Beverly and Brian had quickly changed costumes during the short break.
The new ones came as close to matching their skin tones as the
computer could generate. The effect was to make them look naked on the
stage. Brian took Beverly's hand and led her out into the light. In
innocence, he was Adam to her Eve. All was new, all was beginning.

He pressed his head against her chest as he slowly sank to his knees,
his cheek falling between her breasts to her belly. Still on his
knees, he leaned back, drawing her down until she rested on top of
him, her head buried in his neck.

With a swell in the music, he righted them both until they knelt face
to face, their arms wrapped around each other. Separating and swaying,
they circled away from each other and then back again, stopping each
time with a kiss that seemed to grow longer with each cycle.

Beverly attempted to break away, but Brian's arms pulled her into his
tight embrace. With an overpowering strength, he pushed her onto her
back and positioned himself above her. Her hands swept down the sides
of his body, then back up until they rested at his waist. He slowly
lowed himself onto her as the music started to pick up its tempo.
Moving as one they seemed to perform the oldest dance of all until
with a clash of cymbals they separated. As the lights faded for the
last time, they lay side by side on the floor gasping for breath.

Beverly never got the opportunity to find out how their dance was
received, for just as soon as the lights went out, they immediately
came back up again, this time in a red alert. Comm badges all over the
room started to page, and the computer ordered the Captain and all
medical personnel to report to the shuttle bay immediately.

Beverly found a hellish scene when she entered the shuttle bay. A
jungle of twisted wires and shattered alloys, the screams of men
mingling with the screams of tearing metal as the rescue crews worked
to save the passengers.

The engines of the trouper's shuttle had failed entirely as they
attempted to land, sending the craft crashing to the bulkhead of the
Enterprise. Fuel leaks were flooding the compartment with radiation
while fluid leaks made the deck as slick as glass.

Geordi threw Beverly an engineers jumper to slip on over her costume
for protection against the spills. "We've almost managed to pry a door
open, Doc. You will have to wedge yourself in through that. We can't
risk using the torches until we've gotten the area cleaned up."

Beverly nodded and motioned for a newly arrived medtech to join her.
"Keep working on that door, Geordi. We are going to need a larger
opening to get the stretcher in and the people out of there."

Brian and Jean-Luc arrived just in time to see Beverly wind her way
through the debris and squeeze herself through the narrow opening. The
two men were a study in contrasts. Brian was horrified by the carnage
that lay before him, his face reflecting the stomach-churning terror
that he felt. Jean-Luc was no less effected, but he wore a stoic mask
as he surveyed the damage. He had a job to do and he couldn't allow
personal sensitivities to get in the way. Neither man wanted to see
Beverly involved in this dangerous situation, but at least Jean-Luc
had some idea of her devotion to medicine and her duty. And he knew
that she would do no less.

Crusher almost tripped as she entered the shuttle. The inside was
nearly as damaged as the outside with seats torn from their moorings
and passengers scattered by the impact. Groans issued from those that
were conscious or semi-conscious. Beverly turned on the tricorder she
had taken from the tech and began to triage as she worked her way
through.

The first few patients, those farthest from the point of initial
impact, were suffering from broken bones, bruises, burns and cuts.
They were painful and some were potentially dangerous but not
immediately life threatening. Crusher moved on, looking for patients
in urgent need of medical assistance.

The injuries became more severe -- organ damage, profuse bleeding; in
some cases, the bodies had been penetrated by flying debris. These
people she needed to stabilize and get out now.

A line was set up outside to get her the supplies she needed, while
dodging to avoid engineering crews working to expand the opening. By
the time Beverly reached the final patient, her jumpsuit was covered
with grime and blood, some of it her own. The sharp edges she had
encountered had taken their toll. Beverly viewed them as a nagging
inconvenience when faced with the massive injuries others had
suffered, and she ignored them.

The woman seated closest to the point of impact was in the worst
condition of all. Partially buried and twisted among the debris,
Crusher couldn't even see her injuries to treat them. She had little
choice but to put the woman into stasis and hope it would suffice
until she could be cut out.

Geordi stuck his head through the door. "Doctor Crusher, we are going
to make a try with the torches. If you can move any of these people,
do it now. The rest we need to cover and protect."

The medtech assisted the three closest to the door as they made their
way out. Once they were able to squeeze through, they were met by the
other medical personnel and quickly moved to Sick Bay. Beverly crawled
back and started covering the others with blankets. She had just
settled into place near the woman in stasis when the engineers started
cutting on the door. Covering herself with a blanket, she acted as a
shield for the injured woman. Later examinations would show that they
ignited a small pocket of trapped gas, but the immediate effect was to
send a fireball through the cabin.

The flash of flame was over almost as soon as it was started. Thanks
to the coverings, some minor burns and singed hair was the only damage
inside, but the force had been enough to free the jammed door.

With the door blown wide open, the medical teams rushed in and started
removing the rest of the patients. Beverly stayed where she was
waiting for the engineers to free the final patient.

On the outside of the shuttle, Brian and Jean-Luc had waited for
Beverly to emerge following the fireball. Watching as each patient
unloaded had worse injuries than the one before, the joint concern for
Crusher began to grow. When the engineers entered and Beverly still
hadn't appeared, both men approached the shuttle to investigate.

Fearing the worst, they were surprised to find Crusher directing the
operation inside. The engineers had been able to move the wreckage
trapping the woman and Crusher had pulled her free. Unable to wait for
conventional transport, Crusher had the woman beamed directly to Sick
Bay, ordering the doctor on duty to prepare her for surgery.

Unaware of how alarming her own appearance was, Beverly approached the
two men and started giving them her report. "Somehow everyone managed
to survive the crash, though one of your members, Brian, is in
critical condition and I cannot guarantee she will pull through. They
are preparing her for surgery now. I'll know better where she stands
once I finish that."

Brian stared at her with fear and amazement. "How are you? Were you
injured in the explosion? Do you know that you are bleeding? I was as
worried about you as I was about them."

Beverly looked down at the various cuts on her legs and hands. Some
had bled a little more than she expected, but not alarmingly so. "I'm
fine, the fire was over before I knew it happened and these cuts will
look a lot better once they are cleaned up. Jean-Luc, tell him there
is nothing to be concerned about."

"Beverly, you scared us both."

Crusher shook her head in disbelief. "I tell you, I am fine. Now, I've
got to get up to surgery. Brian, you can stay in the waiting room if
you wish, or you can check on your troupe. I'm certain some of them
should be released shortly."

Both Brian and Picard watched as she jogged toward the door. "Captain,
I'm not certain I've ever seen anything quite like that. If our
positions were reversed, and I had just survived an explosion and fire
like that, I'm certain they would be carrying me out on a stretcher as
well."

"Mr. Keller, I learned a long time ago that there is very little
anyone can do to dissuade Dr. Crusher once she has made up her mind.
Especially when it involves helping a patient. I'm afraid that is
something you will have to learn to live with. Now if you will excuse
me, I need to talk to Commander LaForge and see how the repairs are
going on this shuttle bay."

As Picard walked away, Brian was suddenly forced to look at things in
a different light. He had always assumed that Beverly was unattached
-- she had never given him the impression she was otherwise. True,
with the exception of that first kiss she had diverted him whenever he
tried to put a move on her, but he had understood at least temporarily
her desire to keep their relationship professional. Now he was
beginning to wonder if perhaps her feelings for Picard ran as deep as
Picard's feelings for her.

Several hours later Beverly came out of surgery. The woman would make
it, but it had been touch and go for a while and Beverly doubted she
would ever regain enough use of her legs to dance professionally
again. Still she was alive and that was the important thing.

Crusher rolled her head to get some relief from the tension that had
built up in her neck and shoulders. This had been a long day and she
was anxious to return to her quarters for a shower and bed, but first
there was something she had to do. Letting the nurse know she was
going off duty, Beverly headed for Brian's quarters.

Keller was still up and finishing a subspace communication when she
arrived. Without asking he walked to the replicator and got them both
a drink. After handing one to Beverly, he sat beside her on the couch.
"There are a thousand details to take care of. I'm afraid the rest of
the tour is cancelled, so each of our stops has to be notified and if
possible a substitute booked in."

"What about your company? Have you made any plans for it yet?" Beverly
asked, hoping that perhaps she was off the hook.

"I have to make arrangements for getting our people back to Earth.
Captain Picard has graciously consented to allow us to stay here until
everyone is fit to travel, but I know some of the people will be
anxious to leave early. Those that are fit enough may be able to join
one of the substitute troupes. The rest? Well, we'll go back to Earth
for some R & R, and preparations for next year's tour. The company
will go on. Maybe with a slightly different cast, but it will go on."

Brian had sensed the second she entered the room that she wouldn't be
returning with them. He knew she probably had some very valid reasons,
some of which were too private for her to share. But he wanted her to
know that lack of talent was not a concern. If she changed her mind,
he still wanted her, in every way. "We are going to have auditions for
our vacancies in about three months. If you were worried that you
would just be "given" a position you could set those worries to rest
there."

Beverly smiled. "You knew I was going to turn you down."

Brian's smile was sad. "After watching you this evening I expected it.
Not that I wanted you to say no, I still think you would be a very
good professional dancer and your performance tonight was wonderful.
You had them squirming in their seats. But whereas you are a good
dancer you are an excellent doctor. I think deep down you know that
and always have. That's why it has always been such a hard decision
for you."

Beverly looked down at the cuts and scratches still on her hands. He
was right -- by the time she came out of surgery this evening she knew
she would remain here, no matter how well received her performance had
been. She just hated to disappoint Brian. "You helped me a lot. I'm
not certain I'm being fair to you."

---

"Well the exchange wasn't exactly one sided, you know. You gave me the
opportunity to try out some new ideas and choreography. Things I had
been kicking around in my mind for decades."

Crusher smiled. "Deanna told me about the crush."

"Yeah?" Brian said looking embarrassed. "I bet you think I'm a fool."

"No." Beverly said shaking her head. "I think it is sweet, but that
was one of the reasons I worked hard to keep our relationship strictly
business. Even when you tried your best to make it otherwise."

Brian took her hand and kissed it. "If I have one regret from this
whole episode, it is that we didn't pursue things farther. I think the
two of us could have had something very special."

Before Beverly could protest, Brian gathered her into his arms and
kissed her. It wasn't the casual kiss of old friend, or an awkward
kiss of a young teen, but that of a lover hoping to reclaim what he
once hoped would be his.

Beverly didn't fight him. Being in his arms felt as strong and sure as
she had imagined, but she didn't encourage him either. When the kiss
ended she pulled away so there wasn't the opportunity to start again.
She briefly stroked his cheek goodbye, and without a word left the
room.

Jean-Luc was waiting for her in his quarters when she finally
returned. More curious than angry, she asked him what he was doing
there.

Picard stood there for a moment, his arms out to his side. For the
last few hours he had practiced what he was going to say, but now that
the moment had arrived, he felt tongue tied. "To be honest with you,
Beverly, I'm a little embarrassed to say I'm not certain." Holding up
a PADD he continued. "I suppose I came to talk you out of resigning,
but after your performance today I'm not certain I should. You were
far better than I ever imagined, and your work with Brian is
extraordinary. The two of you work together very well. I can almost
feel a bond between you. I had my doubts about him at first, but I've
decided that he's a good man. He would make you a good partner."

Damn, Beverly thought, the resignation. She had forgotten all about
it. Written shortly before the performance, she had used it as a way
to psyche herself into doing her best. Burning her bridges to Star
Fleet, so to speak. She only hoped she could get it back without a
long explanation. She was too exhausted to go into that right now.

Beverly crossed over to Jean-Luc and took the PADD from him without
saying a word.  Punching various keys, she deleted the message and
then handed the empty pad silently back to Picard. Turning away she
headed toward her bedroom, unfastening her lab coat as she went.

Confused, Jean-Luc called out, "Wait, are you rescinding your
resignation?"

Beverly turned around, a small portion of her final dance costume
visible through the partially opened lab coat, giving the impression
she had nothing on underneath. Jean-Luc's breath caught in his throat.
"That is exactly what I am doing Captain. Is there a problem"

"N-No. I'm just surprised that's all. I thought we had lost you
forever."

Beverly succumbed to the inevitable. She wasn't going to get to her
shower and bed any time soon. "I decided not to join the company. It
is going to be rebuilding for the next six months anyway, and the
physical strain that dance put on this rapidly aging body is more than
I wanted to endure on a daily basis."

The lab coat fell open a little more, revealing even more of the
costume. Displayed in this manner it was even more arousing than it
had been fully exposed on the stage. Jean-Luc found himself inching
closer to her. "It appears your body is just fine to me."

Beverly glanced down and realized what he was looking at. Rolling her
eyes she fastened the coat up once again. "Jean-Luc!"

Unrepentant for being caught, Picard smiled. "What about Brian? Is
that over too?"

"Yes, unless I decide to attend auditions for the company in about
three months. I think he got what he really wanted here."

An expression of jealousy washed over Jean-Luc's face. He wasn't
exactly sure what Beverly meant by that phrase but he had a pretty
good idea. Beverly gave him a knowing smile, relieved that he actually
cared enough to be jealous. Crossing to him, she took his face between
her hands and kissed him. It wasn't often that she got to compare two
such experiences that close together, but she realized that she had
made the right choice in staying with the Enterprise and Jean-Luc.

Picard quickly recovered from his initial surprise at her kissing him
and sought to take advantage of his good fortune, taking the kiss even
deeper. When Beverly broke away, he looked up disappointed and angry.
"So we are going back to the same old games again. Well you can play
them with someone else this time." The Captain turned to walk out of
her quarters.

"Jean-Luc wait!" Beverly called out. When he stopped and turned around
she started unfastening the lab coat once again. "We are going to go
beyond just a friendly kiss, but not right now."

Beverly's performance in the seduction dance flashed through
Jean-Luc's memory. To experience that as her partner was almost more
than he could imagine.

Crusher knew she had gotten his attention. "Right now I'm going to
take a shower and get some sleep, but tonight, why don't you join me
for dinner? If you can wait that long, I think we will find a number
of things to discuss."

"Is that a promise, Beverly?" Jean-Luc asked letting himself hope once
again.

"That's a promise. Jean-Luc."

"Then I can wait. I'll be here at 1900 hours. Until then, pleasant
dreams."

---

The End