The BLTS Archive - Some Trips Have All The Luck
by Zoe (bcrzoe@blueyonder.co.uk )

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Comments: This piece was written in answer to a challenge by Jude and
Doyle. In it, you had to include any or all of the following: To
include the phrase 'Anywhere But Here'. Humour, Mayweather flying
barrelrolls, someone singing in the bathroom (badly or otherwise),
Porthos falling in love with one of Phlox's menagerie, and visiting it
in sickbay, homage to a Star Trek great, and or Jon in drag. Well, I
haven't included all of the above, but I have included some!! Just
read on.

Beta reader(s): Thanks to SueC for the beta

Archived to EntSTSlash on 04/27/2003.

Archived at EntSTCommunity with the author's express permission.

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The sound of singing could be heard throughout the quarters. It was
the sort of grating sound that everyone hated--like a dozen cats
wailing, or the sound of chalk scrailing down a blackboard. It was the
sound that eventually caused Lt Malcolm Reed to stop dressing. They
had decided to get ready in Trip's quarters that evening, and walk up
to the party together. Safety in numbers, Malcolm had called it. "I'd
have been safer in my own quarters, in peace and quiet, than in here,"
he muttered to himself. Tutting, he walked across to the shower room
and opened the door, wincing as the noise increased in volume.

"I will SURVIVE.OH as long as I know how ta live, I'll know I'll stay
alive. I got all my life to live."

"NOT if you continue with that dreadful sound!" Holding his hands
over his ears, Malcolm had to shout over the sound of the shower.
Trip's singing abruptly ceased. The silence was deafening, and, for a
few seconds, Malcolm wondered what had happened to his friend.

Slowly, the shower door opened, and Trip peeked out warily. "What ya
doin' in here Malcolm?" he asked. "In case ya hadn't noticed, I'm
showering, gettin' ready for the big night!"

"Yes, Trip, I realize that. But do you REALLY have to sing? Although,
I suppose one couldn't really call it singing.more like caterwauling."

"Cater.well, I LIKE that!!! I'll have ya know, my voice has won
medals, Mista Reed!"

"Yes, I can guess.was it the worse voice in the school medal, Mister
Tucker?" Laughing, Malcolm returned to the other room, and continued
to get dressed. Hearing Trip chuckling away in the bathroom, Malcolm
shook his head in despair and laughed even harder.

Waiting for Trip to finish his shower, Malcolm allowed his mind to
wander. He never asked for anything from Trip, but he had managed to
get, and, more importantly, keep, a deep, and meaningful friendship. A
friendship that had gone deeper, more deeper than the other man could
ever know. Not that Trip would ever realize, but Malcolm had fallen
completely in love with his superior.

He sighed. So deep in thought he was that he never saw Trip carefully
look around the door from the shower room, never saw him creep
silently across the floor, never saw anything until.

"I WILL SURVIVE."

Jumping a foot in the air, Malcolm quickly turned around, twisted way
too quickly, tripped over one of Trip's shoes on the floor, and,
flailing his arms about him, ended up lying at Trip's feet, face down
in a pile of discarded clothes.

"Hmupph.what the HELL do you think you were DOING?" Malcolm glared up
at Trip, who had almost collapsed with the amount of giggling he was
doing.

"Hahaha, oh my god, Mal, that was too funny!"

"Glad I've amused you! You will pay for that. You know that, don't
you?" Malcolm slyly smiled at his buddy, as, getting carefully to his
feet, he sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Don't care, bud!" The still laughing man made his way to his
wardrobe and began dressing himself in the clothes he had picked out
earlier.

Malcolm watched him. Closely. Watched the way his hair shone in the
light, like sunlight dancing over water, watched the way his blue eyes
sparkled with delight, watched the way his muscles rippled as he
pulled on his shirt.shirt? Rubbing his eyes in disbelief, he looked
again.

"Please don't tell me you are intending to wear that.that.shirt/," he
picked his words carefully, "out in public. And please don't tell me
that the public are going to see it tonight?"

"And why not, may I ask? Nuttin' wrong with this shirt, pal. Betcha I
pull tonight!" Trip continued to fasten his shirt. He had plumped for
a bright yellow shirt, festooned with lots of red starships. "Its my
favourite shirt."

"Hmm, favourite shirt it may be, but you won't pull anyone
tonight--not wearing that, you won't!"

"What do you want to bet?" Trip gazed at Malcolm. "No, Malcolm, I'm
being serious--what do you want to bet that I can pull tonight?"

Malcolm deliberated for a few moments. "Well, alright then, if you DO
pull tonight, I will clean and tidy your quarters for a week. If you
DON'T pull tonight, then you have to do mine, AND yours!!"

"Okay then, that sounds about right." Trip held out his hand to a
suspicious Malcolm; a suspicious Malcolm who was looking at him
through narrowed eyes.

"Malcolm? What's wrong?"

"Hmm.you agreed that too quickly. If it is found that you bribed
someone prior to this bet, then all bets are off, yes?" Malcolm
couldn't help his suspicious nature--it went with the job.

Trip held his hands up openly. "Malcolm, Malcolm, now why would I
want to do something like that, huh?" His blue eyes danced with
enjoyment. "Are you scared of losing? But, all right, if you want,
I'll agree."

Pacified, Malcolm gave a wry smile. "So, are we going out, or are we
going to stand here chatting all night?"

"No, no, out we shall go!" The two men departed Trip's quarters, and
made their way up to the mess hall.

As they walked up the corridor, they could hear music and noises.

"Looks like they started already."

"T'wasn't ma fault we're late." Trip raised his eyebrows, and tried
to make himself look as irreproachable as possible.

Snorting at his look, Malcolm pressed the button to open the door.
Entering, they looked around the room, and immediately saw Travis and
Hoshi at a table up front, waving ferociously at them. Meandering
through the tables, they arrived and sat down.

"Wow, you two look good. After anyone in particular tonight?"
Enquired Hoshi, curious as always.

"Well, Trip did say he was going to pull tonight--but I rather think
not. Not with that shirt he is wearing, anyway." Malcolm gestured
towards the shirt in question. Hoshi and Travis looked over towards
Trip, and both made disgusted faces.

"Trip, I have to say, if you pull tonight.well, there is no justice
in the worl.um.space!" Travis finished, lamely.

"An' I bet him I would! An' I will! Just y'all watch! So, anyway,
what drinks do y'all want?" The drinks orders placed, Trip wandered
off towards the bar.

He returned just as the lights dimmed slightly, and managed to slump
into the seat next to Malcolm.

As the music blared out, a figure walked out onto the makeshift
stage.

"Hello, good evening and welcome.to the Enterprise Karaoke Night!" It
said. The figure was dressed in a low cut, sparkly red dress, with a
thigh high split. Black high heels were worn, and a ruby red necklace
adorned the 'dcolletage'. A curly blonde wig complete with tiara was
atop. Long false eyelashes, and glossy pink lips completed the look
for Captain Jonathan Archer, compere extraordinaire.

A collective gasp went around the room as one by one his subordinates
recognized him. "I'm your compere for this evening, my name being Jona
Archetta." Ignoring the sniggering, he continued. "Please, if you have
any requests, don't hesitate to ask." Pausing for effect, he spoke
again. "And now, for our first singer, we have Mr. Travis Mayweather.
Travis?"

Beaming, Travis made his way up to the stage. Grinning at his
captain, he grabbed the microphone, and whispered in Jon's ear. "Wow,
I don't think anyone can believe it's you! Way to go! Sir!"

Grinning back, Jon clapped as Travis started his song.

Several drinks later, and several songs later--some good, some
bad--Trip ventured towards the stage. Malcolm held his head in his
hands, knowing that somehow, something bad was going to happen.
Glancing across at Travis and Hoshi's sly smiles, he decided that
definitely something bad was going to happen.

Holding onto the microphone, Trip leered drunkenly across at the
table, which he had just left. "This song is
for somebody.someone.ah/...um.er.someone I really, really, really,
really like!"

As the song started, Malcolm covered his ears, closed his eyes and
urged his companions to do the same. "Oh my goodness, I'd rather be
anywhere than here!" he mumbled out loud. It wasn't until halfway
through the song, he opened his eyes and discovered that Trip had left
the stage and was standing next to him. He was, however, still
singing.

"Ahh cain't live...if living is without ya.ahh cain't live, ah cain't
give anyMOOOOORRREEEE"

Grimacing, Malcolm looked up, straight into the large blue eyes of
Trip Tucker; a Trip Tucker who was looking at him with desire filled
eyes, eyes that were rapidly dilating. Gulping, Malcolm suddenly
became interested in his shoes, all the while blushing like fury.
Hoshi and Travis, watching this spectacle, looked towards each other,
grinning. They were both delighted that the Commander and the
Lieutenant had finally acknowledged their feelings for each other,
having watched them making eyes at one another for weeks.

Malcolm didn't realize the song had finished until Trip sat down
suddenly in his seat and smiled. "Well, Mal? Did ya like the song I
sung to ya?" He slung his arm around Malcolm, and hugged him.

Timidly, Malcolm glanced upwards, towards his friend. Noticing Hoshi
and Travis's questioning looks, a sudden idea sprang itself on
Malcolm. Before he could stop himself, he leapt up and made for the
stage.

"Oh my.Travis.you/ don't think.? Oh, I think.Malcolm's gonna sing!!!"
Hoshi was beside herself with amazement.

Blearily eyed, Trip drunkenly grinned, but then almost immediately
sobered up as he heard the words spoke by Jon.oops, sorry Jona
Archetta. "And now, a very unexpected surprise, Mr. Malcolm Reed is
going to sing for us tonight. Please give him a big hand."

The applause reached almost deafening proportions. Sitting upright
now, virtually sober, Trip watched as Malcolm picked up the
microphone, and stood in the middle of the stage, looking lost. The
music started, and almost, but not quite, drowned out the sound of
Trip groaning, loudly.

"Okay, Trip, what's up?" Travis asked, noticing the scowl upon Trip's
face.

"Nothin', nothin'.apart from the fact he grumbled at me singing this
earlier." His eyebrows raised, he glanced towards Malcolm, who was
coming towards him.

"Go on, now go.go out the door, ohhh." Malcolm had a silly grin on
his face as he walked towards Trip. Still singing, Malcolm sank to his
knees in front of Trip, "Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know
I'll stay alive."

Keeping his eyes firmly set on Malcolm, Trip was transfixed. He was
in love with this man, he was desperate, and he didn't care. Didn't
care WHO was in the room. Didn't care who he was sat with. All he
cared about was the gorgeous, wonderful man before him. He grabbed
hold of Malcolm and kissed him, firmly, deeply and passionately. Yes,
he was in the mess hall. Yes it was in front of his colleagues, and,
more importantly, his captain. He didn't care. This was something he
had waited a hell of a long time for.

After what seemed like several minutes, the pair parted, coming up
for air, panting.

They never heard all the catcalls, never heard the music actually
finish, and never heard the captain call for the next singers.

"Malcolm?"

"Trip?"

"Told ya I'd pull!"

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The End