The BLTS Archive - Of Love and Logic
fourth in the Of Love & Logic series
by Yvette (yvette@ecn.net.au)

---

The expression on Harry Kim's face could best be described as
anticipatory. He was practically bobbing up and down in his seat in
the Mess Hall, and the enthusiasm with which he attacked his leola
root fudge cake was due more to his desire to finish his meal and
start on his weekend than to Neelix's cooking skills.

His best friend watched him down the fudge cake in six bites, barely
hiding a smile at the sight. Harry had been planning this weekend off
with Tuvok ever since the two had gotten back together. Recently,
Harry had stopped talking about Tuvok as much when he was with Tom, as
he was well aware how unhappy Tom was in his own relationship. His
face was a dead giveaway, though. Throughout the meal, Harry had
hummed to himself, completely unaware of the grin that had become a
permanent feature.

"So, Harry - big plans for tonight?" Tom's expression was innocence
personified.

Harry was suspicious. "Why?"

"Oh, I don't know, Harry - that grin on your face? The way you've been
humming the same tune for the past half an hour? Or could it be the
fact you practically inhaled your dinner, even though I know you hate
leola root fudge cake?"

Harry looked down at his plate aghast. Tom was right. What crumbs
remained on his plate were clearly the leftovers of a sizable chunk of
leola root fudge cake and he had eaten the entire thing without
noticing.

Amused at the horrified expression on Harry's face, Tom asked, "So.
You and Tuvok planning a marathon chess tournament?"

Trying not to look at his plate as he packed up his and Tom's dishes
from the table, Harry's reply was straightforward. The
innocent-looking young Ensign leaned forward slightly, and raised one
eyebrow in a manner very reminiscent of a certain Vulcan, saying -
with a completely straight face - "I'm not letting Tuvok out of our
quarters before he's made up for each and every time we've been
interrupted lately. He'll be lucky if I let him out of *bed*."

Tom laughed. "All night long, Harry?"

Harry picked up the tray with their dishes and headed for the
replicator, saying, as he went, "Vulcan stamina and youthful
enthusiasm, Tom. No combination like it!"

And with a grin, the Ensign was gone.

---

As he hurried down the corridor to his quarters, Harry couldn't help
smiling to himself. Thinking about the night ahead bought an even
wider grin to Harry's features as he entered their quarters to
prepare.

He and Tuvok had been living together for nearly one whole week - ever
since they had gotten back together after breaking up during the New
Earth fiasco. Their first night of makeup sex had been interrupted by
Tom Paris, who had needed a shoulder to cry on after yet another dip
in his ever-volatile relationship with Voyager's First Officer. Harry
had been glad to lend an ear when Tom needed someone to talk to, but
since that night, he and Tuvok hadn't had a chance to do more than
share a few kisses as one or the other was called away to duty.

Voyager was currently orbiting a planet in the R'Htari system, and
there was plenty of work to be done, unfortunately. Scans of the
planet showed a number of mineral deposits that could possibly be
converted to energy sources for Voyager, and the people of the planet
were happy for the crew of Voyager to explore this option. They had
also been invited to use the many and varied entertainments available
on the planet for shore leave, but the Captain had yet to make a
decision on that.

Harry had been rostered for the first away team mission to the planet,
and tonight would be his last chance to be together with Tuvok for at
least a week. It had been *far* too long since Harry and his lover had
spent quality time together and Harry was determined to make the most
of this night.

As Harry hurried around putting the final touches on the room, an
image of Tuvok leaving the bridge appeared in his mind. The Ensign
hadn't had time to prepare himself, so Harry sent a quick message to
his lover, asking for another ten minutes. Tuvok's reply was slightly
amused, but he acceded to the request.

It was exactly ten minutes later when Tuvok entered their quarters. As
soon as the door swished shut, Tuvok was jumped. Years of tough
Starfleet training had honed the Security Chief's reflexes to a fine
point, and it took all of his experience to adequately defend himself
against the oral onslaught of a freshly showered and completely naked
Harry Kim. Harry hadn't kissed Tuvok in hours and he was making up for
it now. He had spent his time wisely, and was now hard and throbbing
from lubricating himself for his lover. Just thinking about what use
Tuvok would make of his ass had Harry's body on fire.

Harry's momentum had pushed Tuvok back against the closed door, and
the younger man was holding Tuvok's head at the angle he needed to get
at that mouth. Tuvok's hands were spanning Harry's naked bottom, and
pulling Harry's hips closer as a naked erection rubbed against a
clothed one. The speed with which Tuvok could become fully aroused
always impressed the hell out of Harry.

Harry still found it difficult to concentrate on their mental link
when his entire body was nothing more than a bundle of nerve endings,
throbbing and screaming for release. Tuvok had more experience,
however, and the mental images he was sending his younger lover were
quickly sending Harry beyond the point of coherent thought.

It was clear that Harry wasn't in any frame of mind to think about
logical things like finding a bed, or getting Tuvok's uniform off his
body without ripping it to shreds, and so Tuvok took command at that
point by gently pulling a handful of Harry's silken hair back so that
his flushed and panting lover could look him in the face again. Denied
access to his lover's mouth, Harry frowned. His expression was
answered with a slight smile from his older lover.

"Clothes, Harry. Bed." Tuvok's simple words were accompanied with a
very graphic mental image of the two of them, naked in their bed in
the next room, and Harry could only groan, 'Oh, yeah" before grabbing
a handful of Tuvok's shirt and dragging him into the bedroom.

Tuvok had no desire to send yet another torn uniform through the
refresher, so he firmly steered Harry to the bed and efficiently
stripped. Harry grinned at the careful but speedy disrobing. The
Ship's computer was programmed to note any torn or destroyed uniforms
going through the refresher. The Captain and the First Officer saw
each notation in their daily reports, and Tuvok met with the both of
them on a weekly basis to discuss the week's reports. Whilst neither
the Captain or Chakotay would dream of asking why Tuvok was sending
yet another torn uniform through the refresher, the two raised
eyebrows and two carefully concealed smiles during the weekly staff
reports in the Captain's Ready Room was, in Tuvok's opinion, evidence
of far more information than working colleagues should have.

The uniform made it to the floor intact, and Tuvok's naked body spread
itself on top of the writhing figure that lay impatiently on the bed.
Harry immediately returned to his previous task of thoroughly tonguing
the inside of Tuvok's mouth and hands roamed purposefully over the hot
form that covered his muscled body.

His plan to take things slowly and spend hours making love to Tuvok
had gone completely out of the porthole and Harry was already
desperate for completion. Leaving Tuvok's mouth for a minute, he
panted, "C'mon, do me, Tuvok...". The Vulcan ignored his demand,
reclaiming Harry's mouth instead. Long fingers carded silky black hair
as Tuvok's entire body gave Harry a full-body massage. The muscled
heat of his lover's cock rubbing up against his own made Harry groan
deep in his throat as his hands grasped Tuvok's ass, pulling him
impossibly closer.

The chirp of the communicator was like a blast of cold water. Tuvok
immediately ceased activity on the bed and reached for his uniform
communicator. Harry was so hot, so hard, and so furious, he could
hardly contain himself. Silently trying to get his arousal under
control, he listened to Chakotay's request for Tuvok to return to the
Bridge and waited until his lover had signed off before speaking.

"Tell me you're not just going to go up there and leave me like this,"
Harry demanded. Tuvok was already getting dressed, and could not spare
Harry more than a brief glance. He didn't need to be looking at his
younger lover to realise that Harry was on the verge of a major temper
tantrum. The mental link was well and truly communicating Harry's rage
at yet another interruption.

"We have a duty to the ship, Harry." Tuvok's voice was calm, as he
tried to placate his young lover whilst pulling his boots on.

"*Fuck* duty, Tuvok! I'm sick and tired of this! Every night we've
been together lately one of us gets called away - if it's not some
"crisis" on the bridge then it's something in engineering. I've had
enough of this!"

Tuvok was fully dressed now, and ready to leave. Loathe to depart
whilst Harry was in this state of mind, the normally inscrutable
Vulcan for once looked indecisive. Harry's erection had subsided, but
he continued to lie on the bed, hands behind his head and his mouth
set in a mulish expression that Tuvok was very familiar with.

"Harry - I cannot spare the time to discuss this now. I must leave for
the Bridge."

"Fine," Harry spat at him. "Go and report to Chakotay for some boring,
unnecessary job that anyone else could do but *you're* going to do
because God forbid we should be allowed some private time together!"

There was little point in trying to pacify the Ensign with either
verbal or mental communication. He was hardly in a receptive frame of
mind. Utilising some of the knowledge he'd picked up in their short
relationship, Tuvok was careful not to incense Harry further and
simply leaned over the bed to kiss him quickly before departing.

Harry remained on the bed, fuming. He wasn't angry at Tuvok, but he
*was* angry at the Bridge crew.

---

Tuvok still hadn't returned from duty when Harry was called up for the
away team mission. His feelings of resentment grew. He and Tuvok had
been through enough just getting to this stage in their relationship -
was it too much to ask that they be given some time to enjoy it?

One of the major drawbacks to being with a Vulcan, of course, was that
any time they were in the public eye, Tuvok was so circumspect in his
manner, one could have been forgiven for thinking that he and Harry
were mere acquaintances.

Fuming about it while packing his away team kit, Harry came to a
conclusion. The reason everyone kept interrupting their time together
was because they all found it easier just to 'forget' that Tuvok and
Harry had a relationship. There were no public displays of affection,
no public fights and no public making up.

Unlike Tom and Chakotay. Those two seemed to spend their entire time
together either fighting or fucking - frequently at the same time,
Harry thought with a grin, which dimmed when he remembered how unhappy
Tom seemed lately.

Suddenly determined, Harry considered his options. He needed to have a
quick chat with Chakotay before leaving. It was about time people
realised that having a relationship with a Vulcan did not necessarily
mean quiet nights playing chess.

---
<Five days later...>
---

Although no-one would ever have guessed it from his expression, Tuvok
was mortified. That was the only word that would completely describe
the feelings of shame and embarrassment that he was feeling at the
moment. When Chakotay had asked for a moment to discuss a personal
matter with him five days ago, the Vulcan had had no idea of what was
to follow.

Chakotay had borrowed the Captain's Ready Room for his private talk
with Tuvok. The First Officer's manner had not been anything unusual,
far too friendly for a superior officer - but that was Chakotay all
over. It had taken some moments before Tuvok realised what he was
trying to say.

Before leaving with the away team, Harry had complained to Chakotay
about being interrupted during his private time with Tuvok, and
Chakotay was apologising - apologising! to Tuvok for his
inconsideration. Tuvok could feel his back stiffen with the effort of
maintaining an impassive expression as one of his Commanding Officers
explained that he had re-worked the roster so that Tuvok and Harry
would have more 'personal' time together.

Chakotay was discretion itself - as much as that overly friendly human
could be! - but seemed to understand that Tuvok was growing more and
more uncomfortable with the subject as the interview progressed. The
First Officer told him not to blame Harry, saying that he and the
Captain often overlooked the fact that they were in a relationship -
and that Harry had every right to complain.

Tuvok remained silent. When Chakotay finally ran out of words, he
thanked the First Officer stiffly, and departed the Ready Room.

On his way back to their shared quarters that evening, Tuvok was
silently thankful that Harry was down on the planet. He needed some
time to meditate before facing his lover again.

Harry wasn't to know - couldn't know - as he'd never worked on a
Starship before. But Tuvok had, and the Vulcan had a very good idea of
the amusement value the ship would get out of this. Chakotay, despite
his somewhat relaxed familiarity, was an extremely thorough First
Officer.

Tuvok mentally reviewed the steps Chakotay would have taken in order
to make the changes to the roster. First of all, of the Security staff
who worked the Bridge would have been informed. Then all of the Ops
personnel, including Ayala who was one of the ship's major gossips.
Everyone who worked on the Bridge - no matter what shift, would have
received a directive from Chakotay not to 'disturb' Tuvok or Harry
unless it was a problem that *had* to be dealt with by them, and
couldn't wait until their shift. Engineering would have been informed
of the same directive, as well as Stellar Cartography, and the entire
Science Section.

It was the equivalent of announcing over the intercom that Tuvok and
Harry wanted more time to have sex. At least, that was the way the
majority of the crew would view it.

It was humiliating.

---

When the away team beamed back onboard Voyager with rock samples from
the planet, it didn't take Harry long to get the idea that something
was wrong. Ayala, at the transporter controls, gave him a wink and
asked, "Not gettin' enough Harry?" A look from B'Elanna silenced him,
leaving a completely mystified Harry to follow his friend out of the
transporter room.

"What was that all about?" Harry asked B'Elanna. If anyone would know,
she would. Strangely enough, the normally forthright Klingon was quite
reticent on this particular subject.

"I don't know, Harry - Ayala's always acting weird. How was the away
mission?"

The two continued on to engineering, discussing the shore leave roster
and the entertainment that could be found on the planet below. When
they entered engineering, it wasn't long before the strange behaviour
began again.

Gordon came over the pick up the rock samples Harry had bought back
with him, and as he left, he said with a grin, "You know, Harry -
you're looking a little peaked. You missing out on some vitamins or
something?"

The snickers from around engineering were quelled by a furious glare
from B'Elanna, but Harry was still completely in the dark.

Leaving engineering to head for his quarters, Harry was waylaid by Tom
Paris and ushered into the relatively quiet Mess Hall. Tom had spent
the past five days on the planet also, overseeing the transport of a
large shipment of refractive minerals via shuttlecraft to Voyager. He
had gotten back only hours before Harry, but it hadn't taken long to
pick up the current gossip. B'Elanna called him when Harry left
engineering, and warned him that Harry didn't have a clue what had
happened in his absence, recommending that Tom fill him in before he
saw Tuvok.

By the time they got to a seat in the Mess Hall, however, Harry had a
pretty good idea of what was going on. Whilst collecting their trays
and serving themselves, Harry had been given advice from Jenny Delaney
and Anaria Kellerman on 'ways to keep your man happy in bed'. A couple
of the guys from the Science section had felt the need to comment on
the fact that Harry was obviously 'too slow off the mark' and
suggested that he and Tuvok keep their boots on in future - thus
cutting down the time needed to 'get in a quickie between shifts'.

Tom tried to run interference, but Harry was red-faced and fuming by
the time they sat down. All it needed was Neelix to get involved, and
the Talaxian didn't disappoint.

Coming over to Tom and Harry's table, Neelix looked down on the young
Ensign in concern before pulling up a chair, uninvited.

Adopting what he considered to be his most tactful manner, Neelix
wasted no time on small talk. "Tell me, Mr. Kim - how *are* things
between you and Tuvok?"

Harry was trying to keep his temper. "Things are fine with us,
Neelix."

Neelix wasn't convinced. "Well, yes, of course, but when I heard about
..."

Harry interrupted. "When you heard about *what*?"

"Well, I heard that you and your Mr Vulcan were having some problems
..."

Tom covered his eyes with one hand, not wanting to see this.

Harry was incensed. "Problems? Just what sort of problems are we
supposed to be having?"

Neelix helpfully explained. "Well, we all got the directive, loud and
clear! No-one is to interrupt you and Tuvok while you're together
unless it's an absolute emergency!" he finished triumphantly.

Harry looked sick. His face drained of all colour as he looked over
the table to his friend.

"Oh God, Tom - what have I done?"

---

It was a while before Harry could get up the courage to go and see
Tuvok. There had been a number of sly comments directed his way as he
left the Mess Hall, but he ignored all of them. What Tuvok must have
endured this past week! Tom had explained the steps that Chakotay
would have taken to fulfill Harry's request, and Harry felt even more
ill. Tuvok would be furious.

Their quarters were fully lit when he arrived home, and Tuvok was
working at the desk. He looked up when Harry had entered, but then had
returned to work. Harry could feel the butterflies in his stomach turn
to lead.

"Tuvok?"

The Vulcan could hear the apology in Harry's voice, and could feel it
through their link, but he was not yet ready to deal with the younger
man.

"I have work to finish, Harry. We will discuss the matter later."

Harry took a step towards his lover, and then changed his mind. He
could feel Tuvok's presence through their link, and could send and
receive images easily, but he was not anywhere near good enough to
read the Vulcan's thoughts. Maybe it would be a good idea to let
things settle for a while.

After grabbing a quick shower and sending his gear from the away team
mission through the refreshers, Harry settled down on the couch with a
book. Tuvok worked silently for the next few hours, and then cleared
his viewscreen and went into the bedroom. Harry listened as Tuvok
showered. He got off the couch and stripped for bed, hoping that Tuvok
would allow him to apologise properly for his mistake.

Harry was lying in bed when Tuvok emerged from the bathroom wearing a
pair of regulation boxer shorts. The Vulcan crossed the room to the
bed and lay down beside his lover, ordering the computer to turn the
lights off as he did so. He turned away from Harry, and settled down
to sleep.

The message could not have been clearer. In the early days of their
relationship, Harry had teased Tuvok about his habit of sleeping in
boxer shorts. Harry had argued that as the shorts never remained on
for very long after they had retired, it was hardly logical to
continue the practice of wearing them to bed - particularly as they
would generally end up shredded on the floor. Since that time, they
had both made it a habit to sleep naked.

Harry could not sleep. He felt guilty and ashamed at having caused
Tuvok such public humiliation. Most of all, though, Harry was scared.
Scared that Tuvok would end their relationship over this, and would
cut their link, just as he had done when the Captain and Chakotay were
marooned on New Earth.

Tuvok lay still in bed also. The mental cacophony of Harry's thoughts
was not conducive to sleep, and yet Tuvok was loathe to sort things
out between them. Harry would want to make love, and Tuvok wasn't even
sure that he was capable.

The past five days had been an exercise in control for the proud
Vulcan. The majority of the crew wouldn't dare comment on Chakotay's
directive to Tuvok's face, but his Vulcan hearing had no trouble
picking up the conversations throughout the ship. When the directive
had come from Chakotay about not disturbing Tuvok and Harry during
their hours off, the jokes had begun.

Jokes about Harry being too young to know what exactly should be going
on between two men. Jokes about just how long it took a Vulcan to get
aroused, and why. Jokes about Vulcans, sex, bodily functions and
cradle snatching had abound. Chakotay had attempted to put a stop to
it when he overheard an engineer telling one of the bridge crew that
he would get the starboard plasma inverter fixed 'before you can get a
Vulcan to cum'.

Tuvok had appeared completely unaffected by the ship's new fascination
with his sex life, but it was the single most humiliating experience
of the proud Vulcan's life.

Harry could not have known just how private Vulcans were about their
sexual practices. Jokes about the Pon farr had been popular for nearly
80 years, after a particularly well-known Vulcan hijacked his ship
whilst in the throes of the Plak Tow. Vulcans had learnt to ignore
those. This past week had been something else, however.

Unable any longer to ignore the silent suffering from his lover, Tuvok
turned to face Harry, sending a gentle reassurance through their
mental link.

Harry's composure broke completely, and with a stifled sob, he curled
up in Tuvok's arms, pressing his face into the Vulcan's chest.
Eventually, he calmed down long enough to speak.

"I'm sorry, Tuvok, I'm so sorry," Harry punctuated his desperate words
with kisses on Tuvok's chest. His mind was a morass of guilt, shame,
and fear that Tuvok would leave him.

Tuvok curled his arms around his younger lover and gave a sigh.

"You did not realise the consequences of your actions, Harry."

Harry looked up at him, pleading. "I know, Tuvok - but I shouldn't
have done it without speaking to you first."

"That is correct. Had you done so, we would not be in this situation."

Harry was reassured by the typically blunt statement. "They'll forget
about it soon, Tuvok. You know how the ship is - next week Tom and
Chakotay will have one of their fights and the crew will forget all
about this."

"That is not the point, Harry. You took action without consulting me.
If we are to have a relationship, you cannot continue to ignore the
fact that I am a Vulcan."

"I didn't ignore it, Tuvok - sometimes I just... forget." Even in
the dark, Harry had no trouble seeing Tuvok's eyebrow rise.

"I do not see how you could forget something so obvious."

Harry snuggled closer. "I'm in love with *you* Tuvok, not with some
Vulcan."

Tuvok was mystified. "That is a completely illogical statement."

"It's true though." Harry began kissing Tuvok's chest again, one hand
skimming down the Vulcan's body to the boxer shorts. Tuvok's hand
halted his progress.

"It is late, Harry."

"It's not that late." All of Harry's earlier doubts and fears came
rushing back. "You don't forgive me, do you?"

"It is not a question of forgiveness. I am... I am not in the
mood."

Harry's hand snaked under the waistband of the boxer shorts, gently
cupping Tuvok's penis. "I could get you in the mood," he murmured
huskily.

Tuvok's hand grabbed his and bought it back between their bodies,
snapping, "No!"

Harry pulled back automatically at the bite in Tuvok's voice. One
thing was clear - Tuvok was still angry with him. Maybe he didn't want
Harry in his bed any longer, maybe it was just too much trouble having
a human lover. Harry could feel the panic rising again at the thought
of Tuvok dumping him once again.

As the direction of Harry's thoughts became clearer to him, Tuvok
sighed with annoyance.

"Harry - it is late, and I am not in the mood for sexual intimacy. Do
not turn this into something more than it is."

"Okay, Tuvok." Harry's voice was subdued. He desperately needed some
physical assurance of Tuvok's love for him, but was afraid to move
closer to his lover in case Tuvok rejected him again.

Tuvok had no trouble reading the direction of Harry's thoughts, but
said nothing, simply pulling Harry into his arms to sleep curled up
against him, as they slept every night. Harry relaxed after a while,
and was soon asleep. It was some time before Tuvok slept, however. The
shame of the past few days had manifested itself in one very clear
direction. For the first time in their relationship, and despite his
still *feeling* a strong attraction towards his young lover, Tuvok's
body had not responded to Harry's earlier caresses.

Tuvok very calmly and logically considered the odds of Harry being
satisfied in a relationship without sex, and discarded them as being
too small to count. If the problem of his current impotence could not
be solved, he would be forced to terminate their relationship. Once
Harry knew the reason why, he would want to continue being with Tuvok
- but the Vulcan knew that such an unequal relationship would only
bring pain to his young lover.

Being Tuvok, he could not help but mentally list the ways he could
terminate the relationship without Harry being any the wiser as to the
real reason. The difficulty would be in doing it in a way that Harry
could not blame himself. The Vulcan remembered being without Harry
during the New Earth fiasco, and the pain of the memory was enough to
make him flinch mentally. He did not want to lose Harry. But he would
finish their relationship before he would allow Harry to stay with him
out of duty or pity.

It was a long time before Tuvok slept.

---
<Three days later...>
---

Harry was remembering better times. He lay on the couch in their
quarters, a book lying ignored on his chest.

Once again, Tuvok was working at the desk behind him. Harry knew
without a doubt that in an hour or two Tuvok would come to bed wearing
his boxer shorts, and the two would, once again, go to sleep without
making love.

It had been three full days since Harry had returned from the away
mission. As he had predicted, the crew had lost interest in them once
another bit of gossip made the rounds. But things stayed the same
between him and Tuvok. He had given up initiating lovemaking - the
constant rejection was more devastating than Tuvok yelling at him. His
older lover had not referred again to Harry's mistake, except to
reassure him that he had forgiven him.

But still, he did not respond to Harry sexually. Harry could only draw
the conclusion that Tuvok *was* still angry with him, and had chosen
this way to punish him. He just wished they could get over this and go
back to the way it had been before.


Harry remembered back to the relatively early days of their
relationship, before Tuvok had broken up with him. It had been a
particularly boring shift on the bridge, when a very bored Ensign Kim
decided to liven things up a little. With practice, the link was
easier to use. He and Tuvok could converse mentally, but it required
concentration. Harry had to learn to send emotions, not just words,
through a link. He found it a far more effective form of
communication, but it was difficult to master. The ease with which
Tuvok could read Harry's thoughts when he wanted to impressed the
Ensign, but his own inability to do the same was frustrating. Sending
images was easier.

The first image Harry had sent Tuvok was fairly mild. The image was of
a uniformed Tuvok, seated on the couch in their quarters. Harry had
innocently maintained his gaze on his Ops board as he felt Tuvok look
up at him in silent query at the mental communication. Some minutes
had passed, and Harry sent another picture. This time Harry was
kneeling in front of Tuvok, naked.

A quick glance up from the Ops board had confirmed Harry's suspicion.
Tuvok's eyebrow had risen dangerously. His 'stern' look was in full
force, and he sent his own image back to Harry. A very staid mental
picture of Harry and Tuvok both working studiously at their respective
boards on the bridge.

Harry remembered rolling his eyes at that, and sending the third image
in the series with a mental grin. Naked, kneeling Harry was undoing
the clasp on Tuvok's fly.

Having carefully glanced around the bridge, only to confirm that
no-one was paying any attention to them, Tuvok had sent another image
back to Harry. In this one, a chastened Harry was spending extra hours
on the shift after the Captain noticed his inattention on the bridge.

Harry had smiled, and naked, kneeling Harry freed Tuvok's rather
substantial erection, and began to lick it.

Tuvok's expression had remained impassive, and an image of a repentant
Harry sleeping on the couch rather than sharing his lover's bed was
sent on its way.

Then Harry met Tuvok's eyes for a mischievous glance, and naked,
kneeling Harry began to suck on Tuvok's cock in earnest. Seated Tuvok
had grasped Naked Harry's hair and was holding his head firmly in
place and moaning with pleasure.

Harry had known that Tuvok wouldn't cut mental communication with him,
nor would he retaliate in kind. Tuvok was far too sensible for that.
If it hadn't been for the extremely small likelihood of anything at
all happening in this part of space, Tuvok would not have allowed him
this much latitude, and would have used verbal communication to stop
his younger lover.

The two had continued the game for some time until the shift ended.

Naked Harry had risen to his feet and seated Tuvok had returned the
favour in full technicolor detail.

Tuvok's remorseful Harry had not only been forced to work extra shifts
to make up for his inattention on the bridge, he had also spent time
in the brig for insubordination, and when in their quarters, had slept
on the couch. And then on the floor. Of a rocky cave, with a freezing,
bitter wind blowing two feet from his head, no blanket and no food.

Harry's Tuvok had bent Naked Harry over the couch in their quarters
and had entered him from behind, thrusting into him while jerking him
off. Both had exploded into a noisy climax, as Harry virtuously ran a
level one check on the lateral sensor array.

The shift had ended and the two men departed the bridge, just as Tuvok
was communicating an image of Harry dressed in Cinderella-type rags,
industriously cleaning the refuse disposal manually. With his
toothbrush.

Harry had kept a straight face as he and his lover were joined on the
turbo-lift by Tom and Wildman, but when Tuvok added a picture of
himself lounging on the holodeck, complete with cigar and a nubile
blonde beauty on each arm, Harry couldn't help but burst out laughing.
His sudden outburst had startled Tom and Sam Wildman, who had both
looked at him like he was going crazy.

Tuvok had also turned to look at the Ensign, one eyebrow raised in
such a classically Vulcan pose it set Harry off again.

Payback was a bitch, however, as Harry was to find out that same
evening. For once, Tuvok had not been adverse to spending a night
together in Sandrine's, playing pool with Tom and a few other
crewmembers. They'd been sharing a table with the Captain and B'Elanna
when Tuvok began to send mental images to his young lover.

Harry remembered being suddenly transfixed amidst the din of people
and music, when the image of Tuvok and himself stripping each other of
clothes entered his mind.

Tuvok was far more adept than Harry at mental communication, and his
images had been breathtakingly real. Harry's face had grown hotter, as
he had tried to ignore the surge of arousal when the mental images in
his head began to touch each other, and kiss. He'd been able to feel
his temperature rising, and thanked God that the table hid his aching
erection.

Tuvok had appeared completely unaware of the effect he was having on
his lover. Effortlessly dividing his concentration, the Vulcan managed
to maintain a rather intense discussion on engineering personnel with
the Captain and B'Elanna, who had both been beginning to wonder why
Harry was suddenly looking so flushed and uncomfortable.

Demonstrating what happens when you fuck with someone who has decades
of practice at mental communication, Tuvok had continued to send the
series of erotic imagery to his young lover. It wasn't just pictures,
though - Harry could *feel* the intense arousal of his lover, and
could smell and taste every thought that was sent his way.

Tom had started looking at him strangely, and all Harry could do was
pray that no-one would require him to stand up any time soon. Sporting
a giant erection in his Captain's face was *not* the way to early
promotion, he had told himself sternly.

There was worse to come, as Tuvok had made his apologies and politely
withdrawn from the Holodeck, leaving Harry seated at the table,
flushed and hard and aching. Before the Holodeck doors had completely
closed behind the Vulcan, one last image appeared in Harry's mind.
Tuvok, naked on their bed, touching himself. It was only the thought
of what the Captain would think of him that had kept Harry from
completely embarrassing himself in front of his friends and commanding
officer at that image.

The pool table become free at that moment, and B'Elanna immediately
challenged Harry to a game. Harry's stammered apology and explanation
that he wasn't feeling well had been met with genuine concern from
both Tom and the ladies. The Captain had been on the verge of ordering
Harry to sickbay, when Chakotay entered the Holodeck. Harry sent a
pleading glance in Tom's direction before calling the First Officer
over to join them. Fortunately, Tom picked up on his silent plea and
he and his lover made up the foursome. They began to play, all the
while keeping concerned eyes on Harry. Midway through the game the
Ensign finally had his body under control, and had made his escape.

Their quarters had been dark when he entered, but Harry hadn't paused
for a moment. He had stripped off his uniform as he entered the
bedroom, then stopping at the sight before him. His lover, naked on
top of the bed, had clearly been stimulating himself for a while and
was nearing orgasm. Tuvok was rarely noisy in bed, but the quiet
panting, and the very light sheen of sweat beading his forehead had
told their own story.

Harry's eyes had followed the length of Tuvok's body until they
reached the interesting sight between his legs, where an engorged and
leaking black cock was being stroked and stimulated by one hand. The
other hand cupped his balls, and was kneading the flesh gently.

Harry had stripped off the remainder of his uniform, and dropped to
his knees beside the low bed. Pushing Tuvok's hands out of the way,
Harry's left hand had stretched to cover the pulsing flesh and squeeze
it lightly, and his right hand had pushed Tuvok's legs further apart
to give his mouth access to Tuvok's balls.

Opening wide, he had taken as much of the flesh into his mouth as he
could manage, running his tongue over the rough but fragile skin and
sucking through his nose and mouth as much of Tuvok's scent as he
possibly could. Pulling back, he had tongued first one, and then the
other thoroughly, before moving his mouth to the base of Tuvok's shaft
and sucking hard at that point.

Tuvok arched and moaned softly at the feel of Harry's mouth sucking
him there. Harry had felt Tuvok nearing climax, and so discarded his
plan of tasting every inch of the flesh under his mouth and hands.
Running his tongue along the full length of his lover, his mouth had
engulfed the head of Tuvok's cock just as the Vulcan climaxed, and
thrust into the hot warmth.

Moments later, Harry had risen, and walked around to his own side of
the bed, laying down beside his lover, pressing his own hard cock
against Tuvok's thigh. Annoyed at Tuvok for getting so close to orgasm
without him, Harry had nuzzled Tuvok's neck, murmuring, "Why'd you get
so close without me?"

Tuvok had turned towards Harry, taking his throbbing cock in one long
fingered hand, and had replied, "Why did you take so long?"

It hadn't taken more than a few moments to bring Harry to his own
satisfying orgasm. As methodically efficient as ever, Tuvok reached
over to the bedside cabinet for the damp wash cloth that he had placed
there earlier, and cleaned the evidence of their passion away. The
lovers had fallen asleep curled up together moments later.


The book lay on Harry's chest, completely forgotten, as he smiled to
himself at the memory of that night. His body had responded naturally
to the sheer erotic nature of his memories, and with his eyes closed
and his attention elsewhere, he missed seeing Tuvok come over to the
couch and watch his young lover dreaming.

The nature of Harry's thoughts was clear from the bulge in his pants
and Tuvok felt a familiar surge of arousal at the sight. He knew he
should just walk away, but the Vulcan had an intense desire just to
touch his young lover one more time - give him pleasure.

Kneeling down in front of Harry's crotch, Tuvok reached over and freed
the erection hidden within. Harry's eyes snapped open, and Tuvok was
momentarily taken aback at the mental flood of arousal, love and sheer
relief in Harry's emotions. Ignoring that, Tuvok took pants and boxers
in his grasp, and as Harry lifted his hips from the couch, pulled the
clothing down to his knees so that Harry's cock and balls were
accessible.

Harry was in heaven. Tuvok was touching him again and everything was
going to be perfect! Tuvok's first move was to start sucking and
nibbling along the length of Harry's cock. This particular stimulation
always drove Harry wild.

Trying hard not to thrust into Tuvok's mouth as his cock head was
enveloped in the incredibly hot cavern of Tuvok's mouth, Harry could
only moan as the Vulcan began to massage his balls. Harry could feel
his cock going deeper and deeper into Tuvok's mouth, and then the
walls of Tuvok's throat enveloped him and Harry moaned with sheer
pleasure.

Tuvok then finished the job by swallowing. The muscle contraction was
too much for Harry who came hard into Tuvok's mouth and feeling the
hot warmth that surrounded his cock swallowing every drop.

It had been too long since they had made love - only one brief session
on the couch ages ago, and the feeling of relief was incredible. Harry
had jerked off in the shower a few times, but that was nothing
compared to this incredible pleasure.

He lay back on the couch for a moment or two, getting his breath back.
Tuvok, however, calmly rose and returned to his desk to work. Harry
sat up on the couch to stare in amazement at his lover. Something was
going on here. Tuvok had enjoyed that as much as he had, Harry had
been aware of that through their link. But here he was, back at his
desk and not requiring some relief? Harry began to strip, not taking
his eyes off his lover.

Tuvok, on the other hand, was trying hard not to appear conscious of
the steady regard. It had been a mistake to touch Harry - a big
mistake. Now Harry would want to finish their lovemaking and if Tuvok
rejected him again he would want to know why.

Before he could frame a logical reason for stopping their lovemaking
at that point, Harry was totally naked. The Ensign approached the
desk, leaning one shoulder against the wall, facing Tuvok with his
arms crossed.

Tuvok continued to work, but the steady, silent regard was putting him
off completely. Finally, he put the stylus down and looked up at his
lover, one eyebrow raised.

It had no discernible effect. Harry just stood there, looking like
some young God come to earth with his bronzed skin and muscled body.
Instead of blushing, or retreating, Harry stood his ground - even
firing a salvo of his own. It was Tuvok then who couldn't meet Harry's
eyes as Harry mimicked his own movement silently, just raising one
eyebrow in query.

"What's going on, Tuvok?"

"I have work to complete."

"Well, that's the first lie you've told me tonight. What'll it be
next? I'm not in the mood, Harry? I really *do* forgive you for
publicly humiliating me in front of the crew, Harry?"

Tuvok summoned every ounce of control he had to maintain a cool front
for his lover. At that moment, all he wanted to do was to curl up in
bed with Harry and confess all. That extremely un-Vulcanly urge was
suppressed instantly. Harry could never know.

"I'm waiting for an answer, Tuvok."

"I am the Chief of Security, Harry - I have a greater workload than
most. In fact, it would not harm you to ….."

Harry rolled his eyes in disgust and interrupted. "Tuvok, do you
really think you're going to distract me with that old chestnut? My
work is up to date. So is yours. You've been 'working late' for up to
five hours a night for the past three days, and you and I both know
that the only reason you've been doing that is to avoid me. No more,
Tuvok! We're having this out, and then we're going to bed and we're
going to make love until dawn - and I don't *care* if you're not in
the mood!"

An angry, naked Harry Kim was something else again. Tuvok felt a
surprisingly strong surge of attraction at Harry's words. He had never
been dominated sexually. But going to bed with Harry would be a
mistake. If he was unable to perform, then Harry would blame himself,
and Tuvok would not allow that to happen.

"*Are* you still angry with me for going to Chakotay?" Harry's voice
was gentle.

At this proximity, it was very hard to maintain enough control to
shield his very thoughts from his perceptive lover.

"No. You lack the experience onboard a starship to realise the
inevitable consequences of your request. I cannot blame you for
something you did not mean to do."

"Then why are you punishing me?"

It was Harry punishing Tuvok at the moment. His nearness, his
nakedness - but most of all this incredible forcefulness! Tuvok
struggled to control the surge of attraction, and at the same time
maintain an outward veneer of calm, and not let Harry feel any of his
own mental turmoil. He was only partially successful.

"I felt that, Tuvok." Harry's voice was calm, triumphant. He didn't
know what sort of game Tuvok was playing, but he wasn't going to go to
bed quietly tonight! "You want me right now - but you're trying to
hide it. Why?"

Unbidden, images of the week Harry was away came to Tuvok's mind, the
comments, the snide remarks - and the arousal he had been feeling was
quenched as suddenly as it had begun.

"Harry..." he needed to stand up for this, and did. "Harry - I believe
we should have a trial separation."

The wash of confusion and pain from Harry nearly overwhelmed him. His
lover was remembering back to the last time Tuvok had terminated their
relationship. It wasn't like this - Tuvok had cut things off suddenly
then. But this was just as bad.

"Why?" Harry demanded. Anger was beginning to take hold again, and he
was consumed with a desire to make Tuvok eat his words.

"It would be best for both of us. We have not been communicating well
in the past week and it is clear that we both need some... breathing
room."

Tuvok's use of the human expression only served to enrage Harry
further.

"*We* haven't been communicating? *You* haven't been communicating,
Tuvok! You've been sulking over a stupid mistake. All right - I'm
SORRY!! I didn't know that the whole ship was going to hear about it,
and I'm sorry I wasn't here, either. But you should know, Tuvok, that
if I had to do it again - I would! *I love you*, Tuvok and I don't
care who knows about it!!"

Harry was yelling by the end of that diatribe and Tuvok glanced
involuntarily towards the door of their quarters, as though to check
that no-one had overheard.

It was the last straw for Harry. He strode to the door of their
quarters, and ordered the computer to open it and leave it open.
Walking straight out into their corridor, Harry yelled at the top of
his voice, "Everyone listen to me! I love Tuvok and I ------- .." his
words were cut off suddenly as his lover yanked him bodily back into
their quarters and savagely ordered the computer to shut the door
behind them.

Furious, Tuvok carried the struggling Ensign into the bedroom, and
effortlessly dumped him on the bed.

There was no need to disguise his feelings from Harry. The hot passion
overwhelmed him and for once in his life Tuvok struggled for the words
to express his anger.

"You will not EVER do that again, Harry Kim! The next time you... you,
 disgrace yourself in that fashion I will move into separate
quarters! Is that understood?!"

The enraged Vulcan towered over him, for the first time since Harry
had known him actually *yelling* at him. Any other time in their
relationship, Harry would have backed down, but he was angry, and
scared and turned on and it was hard to know which emotion to go with.
Anger won the day.

"The *HELL* you will, Tuvok! You're *mine* and I'm *yours* until the
day one of us *dies* and *THAT'S THE WAY IT'S GOING TO BE*!"

His rage quit him in that instant as he realised the words he had
spoken out loud. Tuvok stood, dumbfounded, staring at him blankly.

What had begun as a tender, loving relationship that would tide them
both over until Voyager reached earth and Tuvok returned to his wife
had somewhere along the way changed into something else again.

Harry had gone into the relationship knowing that Tuvok had a wife and
children on Vulcan. At the time, he had thought that he would be able
to say goodbye to Tuvok and leave the relationship happier for the
experience. It wasn't until the words had left his mouth, though, that
he realised that somewhere along the way Tuvok had become the most
important person in his world, and that he would not be able to live
without him.

Tuvok's brilliant Vulcan mind had gone a complete blank. When Harry
had said those words, they had sounded so *right* and it had taken a
second for him to appreciate their meaning. There was T'Pel... and his
children... and Harry was so young... Unable to clearly process any
of this, Tuvok turned and strode out of their quarters.

Harry's earlier yelling in the corridor had attracted a few curious
types, who had come into the hallway just in time to see a naked
Ensign Kim being bodily hauled back into his quarters by their
apparently furious Chief of Security.

Once the doors had closed on their quarters, no more sounds were heard
until Lt. Tuvok came striding out. It was clear that for once he did
not care about the audience he had attracted.

---

Harry sat on the bed, stunned and silent. What had possessed him to
say *that* to Tuvok? And why did Tuvok want a trial separation? Harry
could feel Tuvok's arousal when he was on the couch and he knew Tuvok
well enough to know that the Vulcan would not just fall 'out' of love
overnight.

There had to be more to this than Tuvok was telling. Dazed and
confused, Harry grabbed the first thing he could find - a light robe -
and threw it on. It was only when he went out into the corridor that
he saw the half a dozen crewmembers standing around in the corridor,
gossiping about the juicy fight they had just witnessed between
Voyager's second most interesting couple.

Flushing bright red, Harry pushed his way passed the audience and
headed for the turbo lift. He had to find Tuvok. When the computer
asked him for his destination, it took a few moments for the stunned
Ensign to figure out the quickest way to find his lover.

"Computer, location of Lieutenant Tuvok?"

"Lieutenant Tuvok is in the Starboard Observation Lounge."

Harry knew that was a favourite place of Tuvok's to meditate. He
hesitated, and asked, "Computer, is the privacy lock engaged on the
Starboard Observation Lounge?"

"Affirmative."

Harry slumped against the wall of the Turbolift. He didn't want to go
back to his own quarters and face the gossiping crew members again,
and neither did he want to disturb Tuvok if his lover was meditating.
Come to think of it, he wasn't even sure what he would say if he could
speak to Tuvok.

There was really only one place he could go. "Deck Three."

When Tom answered his door, it was immediately clear to Harry that he
had interrupted something. Tom was flushed, and looked angry. He was
dressed in a pair of tight, silk trousers, and was clearly in the
process of trying to find a matching shirt to wear from the pile in
his closet.

The pilot relaxed slightly when he saw Harry, but frowned at the
Ensign's dress - or rather, the lack of it. It wasn't like Harry to go
wandering the corridors of Voyager wearing nothing but a thin robe.

"What's up, Harry?" Tom pulled his friend into the room and the door
closed behind them.

The tears in Harry's eyes confirmed Tom's original diagnosis. Tuvok.

"It's Tuvok, Tom - I don't know, we just..." Harry's voice trailed
miserably off as he wondered how to explain the events of the past
week to his best friend.

It was clear that Harry needed to calm down, so Tom took him into the
bedroom where a pile of shirts was lying on the bed.

"Okay. Sit here and take a deep breath. Then tell me which shirt goes
best with these pants."

Harry smiled despite himself and picked out one of the shirts on the
bed.

"Here, wear the blue one. It looks good on you."

Tom frowned mutinously as he looked at the shirt Harry was holding up
for him.

"No. Chakotay bought it for me and I'm not dressing for *him* anymore.
I'll wear the red one."

Harry shrugged and handed him the red shirt, automatically folding and
sorting the remaining clothes and putting them away in the closet. The
simple task calmed him down, and as the misery passed, a feeling of
depression took it's place.

"So why are you dressed to kill, anyway?"

Tom frowned at a stain on the front of the red shirt. It wasn't worth
the replicator rations to put it through the refresher when he had
others to wear.

"I'm going down to the planet and I'm going to get blind, stinking
drunk."

Harry knew that mood. "You and Chakotay have another fight?"

Tom stripped off the shirt and looked over at Harry, who was sitting
on the bed. The friends locked eyes, and each recognised the misery
reflected there. There was no real need for explanations. Chakotay had
hurt the man who loved him, just as Tuvok had hurt the man who loved
him.

Suddenly filled with a desire to *do* something, Harry stood up and
pulled off his robe, heading for Tom's closet.

"You want some company?"

Tom grinned at the younger man. Harry was the greatest friend a guy
could have, and it was a well known fact that misery *loved* company.

Harry grabbed the first shirt he came to, the blue one that Tom had
rejected earlier. Yanking it over his head, he couldn't help but think
of other outfits, replicated with Tuvok in mind, and the thought
bought tears to his eyes. Angry with himself at his weakness, he
pulled harder at the shirt only to realise that the reason it was
getting stuck was because he was trying to stick his head through an
armhole.

Half laughing, half crying, Harry walked back into the bedroom, saying
"Tom - get this stupid thing off me!"

The pilot could only grin weakly at the pathetic picture they both
made, and went over to his friend to help him out of the shirt.
Getting it back over Harry's head and tossing it on the floor, Tom was
dismayed to see the tears in Harry's eyes.

"Hey, Har, it's okay. We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"No, I do want to. I need something to make me feel better."

The Ensign looked about twelve years old, all miserable and
teary-eyed. Tom hugged him and wondered to himself why the hell they
couldn't have fallen in love with each other, but ruefully
acknowledged that Chakotay had ruined him for anyone else. Even if the
First Officer was in love with someone else.

For a moment, the two unhappy young men just stood silently together,
before Harry pulled away, giving Tom a watery smile, and headed for
the wardrobe to grab something to wear. Neither man heard the outer
door to Tom's quarters close.

---

As Tom and Harry got ready to go down to the Planet, Tuvok entered
into the third and deepest state of meditation. He was seated,
cross-legged, in the starboard observation bay. At this time of night,
this entire deck was mainly empty, and Tuvok had initiated a privacy
lock on the doors to ensure that he would not be interrupted.

It was the first time since Harry had gone to see Chakotay that Tuvok
had meditated successfully. The stresses of the last two weeks had
taken their toll, and from his behaviour this evening, it was clear
that Tuvok needed to spend a lot more time on his controls.

That, in itself, had been a concern since he and Harry had begun a
relationship. Tuvok had never had the problems with his control that
he had experienced since becoming intimate with the young Ensign, and
it was something that had disturbed him. Only in allowing himself this
time to delve into his deepest subconscious mind, could Tuvok finally
find the answers he sought.

His life before Harry was successful, fulfilled. His wife T'Pel was a
woman he loved and respected, and they had been blessed with four
children, a large family for Vulcans. His work with Starfleet was
challenging, and during his time on Voyager he had learnt much.

And then came Harry. Harry Kim, who made him lose his temper -
something he hadn't done since childhood. Harry Kim, whose naturally
friendly manner with other crewmembers made Tuvok burn with jealousy
for the first time in his life. His young, passionate lover, whose
inexperience belied an incredibly sensuous nature and a desire to
experiment and explore the very limits of their sexuality.

Was it logical that he devote so much time and energy to this
relationship? Should it be so incredibly satisfying to be the one who
bought a smile to Harry's face, to make him laugh?

Could he live with a human? Knowing that others speculated, and joked
about the intimate details of their life together? Could he maintain
his own controls, whilst being linked with someone for whom logic was
little more than an interesting concept?

Could he live without Harry?

Silence.

A life without Harry. A return to Vulcan and his wife and children. To
a marriage that was satisfying before he had met Harry, but now only
served to show him just how much had been missing from his previous
life.

No more misunderstandings. No more fights, no more un-Vulcanly
jealousy. No more laughter. No more love-making. No more Harry.

He had accused Harry of not considering that he was a Vulcan when
Harry had gone to Chakotay. But he had been guilty of trying to
control a relationship whilst ignoring that Harry was human. His
impotency was no more than a physical reaction to the humiliation he
had felt when the ship had begun discussing the intimate details of
his life, and yet he had almost used that as an excuse to discontinue
their relationship.

And yet, the crew were far less careful when speculating about the
relationship between the First Officer and Voyager's pilot. Jokes had
circulated about that relationship from day one. Betting pools on
every aspect of Tom and Chakotay's affair had been running for months.
The two men seemed not to notice, and yet Tuvok had been humiliated
almost into giving Harry up from a few days of bad Vulcan jokes.

Could he live without Harry?

No.

The Vulcan rose from the floor and set off in search of his lover.

---

Tom Paris and Harry Kim were drunk. There was something to be said for
drinking real alcohol - it had a genuine buzz that synthehol could
never really replicate. After beaming down to the planet together,
Harry and Tom had headed for the first bar they could find, and had
planted themselves firmly at the bar. 'The Blue Ring Bar' was a
relatively upmarket establishment, and it was easy to see how the
place got it's name. On the wide bar in front of them, placed at
intervals of roughly two feet apart, were a series of giant
fluorescent blue rings. Scantily clad dancing girls were gyrating
inside the rings to the music that blasted over the loudspeakers
placed haphazardly throughout the room.

The girls were extremely attractive, their outfits barely there, and
the lyrics to the songs were very suggestive, but neither Tom nor
Harry paid them much attention. They were there to drown their sorrows
and nothing was going to get in the way of some serious drinking.

The place had been pretty quiet when they had first arrived, but now
it was packed to the brim. It was impossible to talk over the din of
the music and surrounding conversation, so they had both lapsed into a
maudlin silence as the drinks kept coming.

Harry couldn't stop thinking about Tuvok's reaction to his earlier
declaration. Why did he have to say it? Why couldn't he just have
continued on as they were? Now Tuvok would dump him for good and he
would have to spend the next 70 years working closely with a man he
loved and could never have. Or worse. Tuvok needed a lover - a
bondmate - to get through the Pon farr. The thought of Tuvok taking
another lover was agony, but then the thought of Tuvok dying was
worse.

Morosely, Harry considered which of the crewmembers would be most
likely to fulfill the position. He was up to double figures in a
depressingly short time.

So deep in his thoughts, Harry didn't notice the attention he and Tom
were getting from a rowdy bunch of locals at the other end of the bar.
The seven young locals were probably from one of the seedier parts of
town, judging from their clothes. They had seen the two Starfleet crew
earlier, and were looking for entertainment. Those two would do
nicely.

When they came over to Tom and Harry, surrounded them, and began
taunting them, Harry had stood up, intending on departing as soon as
possible. Too late, he realised that these boys could be trouble. Tom
wasn't planning on leaving, instead lazily returning their insults
with a smirk that served as a red flag to a bull on their aggressors.
Within seconds, the two had been grabbed, their arms pinned behind
them, and dragged out onto the street and into the alleyway that ran
alongside the tavern.

Harry had attempted to use his communicator and call for help, but the
young men had seen what he was trying to do and had taken the pins
away from both he and Tom. At this point, the alcohol induced fog had
cleared a little over both officers, and they began to struggle in
earnest.

The fight was short, but brutal. Several of the local boys had bruises
and cut lips, one was unconscious on the ground and one other was
grasping his ribs in agony. But seven healthy young men were too much
for two very drunk Starfleet officers and their remaining attackers
held the two down and began to beat the hell out of them.

The whir of a transporter beam went unnoticed by any of them until the
Starfleet security team, lead by Tuvok, quickly and efficiently dealt
with Tom and Harry's attackers. Tuvok gave the order for Tom and Harry
to be beamed to sickbay, and moments later, the Holodoc was asking
them to please state the nature of the medical emergency.

---

The first hypospray the Doctor gave Tom and Harry sobered them both
instantly. The EMH then set about fixing the cuts and bruises on both
men, whilst Tuvok waited silently at the entrance to sickbay. He was
standing at parade rest, with his hands behind his back and his feet
apart, looking every inch the security officer. But Harry could sense
his annoyance and was puzzled that it seemed to be directly solely at
Tom and not at himself.

The doctor had just finished fixing up Harry's cuts and bruises when
Chakotay entered sickbay. The doctor had ignored the undercurrents in
the room, but the rather volatile entrance of Commander Chakotay and
the annoyed look on Lt. Tuvok's face seemed to indicate that fireworks
were imminent.

Leaving both men with an admonition to take better care of themselves
in the future, the Doctor then disengaged his program. His
instructions were completely ignored by the two men still sitting on
the biobeds, and their two extremely pissed off lovers.

Harry's explanation of what had transpired on the planet was met with
complete silence from Tuvok, and Harry could feel his anger from the
biobed. He was confused. Was Tuvok still leaving him? Why was he so
angry at Tom?

Tom had looked up at the Commander's entrance, but before he could say
anything, Chakotay had whirled around to face Tuvok.

"Are they on report yet, Lieutenant?" He asked the Vulcan, fury
evident in his voice.

Tuvok remained calm. Displaying his own anger at the pilot for once
again dragging Harry into a dangerous situation would not help diffuse
the obvious rage the First Officer was feeling.

"No. They did not begin the fight, and were simply defending
themselves from attack."

"Then why are you here, Tuvok?" Chakotay looked like he was about to
do someone an injury, and Harry wasn't sure who the anger was directed
at - Tom or himself.

Tuvok replied to Chakotay's question in a tone that suggested that the
First Officer's question was a little too personal for his liking.

"I have requested shore leave for Mr Kim and myself. We will be
departing in sixteen point four minutes."

Harry looked up at this, hope warring with trepidation as he reached
out mentally for his lover. Tuvok met his concern with reassurance,
and a little something more. This was not the place for declarations
of love, but it was enough for Harry. Tuvok didn't want to leave him -
he wanted to be with him. A big smile broke out over the Ensign's
features as he gazed with love at the Vulcan.

The smile seemed to enrage Chakotay further.

"Do you know what Harry was doing earlier this evening, Tuvok?"
Chakotay's question was savage, as Tuvok, Harry and Tom all looked at
him uncomprehendingly.

Tuvok did not reply, simply raising one eyebrow in silent query.

"He was... he was *seducing* Tom!! The two of them were *fucking*
each other before they even went down to the planet!"

Tom Paris' jaw dropped open at the accusation, his expression matched
by Harry's. Tuvok remained calm, however, finally getting some idea as
to why Chakotay was in such a fury.

As both Tom and Harry opened their mouths to deny the allegation,
Tuvok held up one hand to silence them both.

"May I ask why you believe that to be the case?" His calm, logical
tones reassured his lover, but Tom was still staring in aghast at
Chakotay, who looked ready to kill.

"I *saw* them together, Tuvok!" Chakotay snapped. "Harry was naked in
Tom's arms after Tom finished *undressing* him."

"What happened then?" Tuvok asked him.

"I didn't *stay*, Tuvok," Chakotay ground out. "I had no desire to
watch *my* former lover screw around with *yours*!" Chakotay shot a
look of fury in Harry's direction.

Harry was horrified on Tom's behalf. What the hell was wrong with
Chakotay that he could believe something like that? And he obviously
*did* believe it - Chakotay looked ready to kill.

So did Tom, for that matter.

The handsome pilot walked over to Chakotay, forestalling any response
from Tuvok or Harry, and looked him straight in the eye. Chakotay
never even saw the left hook that caught him square on the chin and
knocked him unconscious. Tom stepped over the body of his lover, and
stormed out of sickbay.

Harry and Tuvok both looked at Chakotay's body, and then at each
other. The grin Harry had been trying to keep at bay could be held
back no longer, and he could see the answering amusement in Tuvok's
eyes, as the Vulcan approached him.

Harry got off the biobed, to be met by Tuvok who ran one gentle finger
along Harry's jawline, tipping his head up so that their mouths could
meet. The lovers kissed, mouths opening and tongues exploring as Harry
clung to his lover like a lifeline and Tuvok's hands gently carded the
Ensign's hair as he held Harry's head in place.

There would be time to talk - and plan - later, but for now the most
important thing to both of them was this moment of togetherness.
Neither had the energy or the mental wherewithal to begin an intense
mental or verbal conversation, so both concentrated on communicating
their love as they kissed.

A slight groan from Chakotay on the floor was enough to break up the
moment of reunion, and Harry gave Tuvok a shy smile as the Vulcan
looked tenderly into his eyes for a moment.

"Prepare for a two day shore leave, Harry, and meet me in Transporter
Room Two. I must deal with the Commander and Mr Paris."

Smiling at the thought of Tuvok 'dealing' with those two volatile
lovers, Harry gave Tuvok a quick kiss on the mouth, and left to do
Tuvok's bidding.

Tuvok turned to face Chakotay, who had pulled himself to his feet and
was now rubbing his jaw.

"I assume Paris is in the brig?" Chakotay assumed nothing of the sort,
but he wasn't about to let anyone escape the brunt of his anger this
evening.

Tuvok crossed his arms, and leaned against the biobed Harry had sat
on.

"Commander, I am off duty, although, if you insist, I will have Mr
Paris put in the brig. I do not understand how that will solve your
problem, however."

Chakotay looked grimly at Tuvok. "And just what problem is that,
Tuvok?"

The Vulcan considered the Commander thoughtfully. He had come to
understand Tom Paris a lot more from viewing him through Harry's
thoughts, and from the conversations Tom had had with Harry about his
relationship with Chakotay. From the clues Tuvok had picked up along
the way, the Vulcan had a pretty good idea of the main problem with
the relationship.

"Commander, the Lieutenant believes that you are in love with the
Captain. He is of the opinion that you are only with him because you
cannot be with her, and that he is nothing more than a substitute. And
from what I have observed from your behaviour, he is completely
justified in his assumption."

Chakotay looked annoyed. "I'm not in love with the Captain, Tuvok.
I've told Tom that."

"I am sure Mr. Paris would find your declaration more convincing if
not for the fact that you appear to be spending both your working
hours and your leisure time ensconced in the Captain's Ready Room."
Tuvok replied blandly.

He watched Chakotay's thoughtful expression for a moment, and then,
satisfied that his advice had been heard, Tuvok left Sickbay and
headed for Transporter Room Two.

---

The suite Tuvok had rented for the next two days was superb. Large and
airy, it also had a private balcony, Jacuzzi and a giant four poster
bed that felt even softer and more comfortable than it looked.

Harry had showered while Tuvok had unpacked for both of them, and the
Ensign had grinned when, emerging naked from the bathroom, he had seen
the outfit that Tuvok had put out for him.

Tuvok had kissed him lightly on the nose as he had walked past Harry
to use the bathroom. Harry dressed, and spent the remainder of his
time checking out the suite. More interesting than the view, however,
was the array of items Tuvok had stored in their bedside drawers.

Tuvok was taking his time in the shower, so Harry laid out the clothes
he wanted his lover to don when he emerged from the bathroom. This
particular evening required something else Harry had wanted to do for
a while.

When Tuvok emerged from the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel, he
found Harry leaning against the door frame, looking out onto their
private balcony and at the view beyond. Harry turned his head when
Tuvok came into the room, and smiled slightly at his lover, before
turning again to face the view. Tuvok took a moment to appreciate his
own view.

The tight, black jeans clung lovingly to every long inch of Harry's
legs, firmly following the contours of his crotch and ass. The t-shirt
was white, and sleeveless, also tight. Harry was barefoot, his hair
wet and mussed into a more untidy version of his normally neat style,
one black lock falling over his forehead. He looked sexy and dangerous
and incredibly hot.

The Vulcan went over to the bed, stopping in surprise when he saw the
outfit Harry wanted him to wear. His Starfleet uniform was laid out
neatly. Tuvok paused for a moment, then noticed that it was only the
jumpsuit that was on the bed. No boots or socks, no shorts, no
undergarments at all. Just the jumpsuit.

Dressing quickly, he looked up as Harry returned to the room. Standing
at 'parade rest', he didn't move a muscle, as the vision that was his
lover walked over to him, and placed one finger over Tuvok's lips.
That hand moved to Tuvok's chest, and stayed on his body as Harry
slowly walked full circle around his captive.

Tuvok stood silently under the searing regard, and met Harry's gaze
fearlessly as the younger man came to stand in front of him again.

Harry gave a small smile, as he took two handfuls of Tuvok's uniform
and casually ripped the top into pieces. Let Tuvok explain that at the
next staff meeting!

The Ensign spent some time moving a hungry gaze over the flesh he had
uncovered. Meeting Tuvok's eyes once more, he jerked his head towards
the bed and said, "On the bed, face up."

The Vulcan complied. Harry came over to the bed and sat down beside
his lover, smiling dangerously as he leaned over to open the drawer
beside the bed. Tuvok's breathing increased just fractionally as Harry
drew out the pre-cut white cords, but Harry noticed and smiled to
himself.

Taking one wrist, Harry pulled Tuvok's arm up above his head and
secured it to the headboard. The same thing with the other hand, and
Tuvok was securely fastened, arms above his head. Tuvok's rampant
arousal at Harry's domination was immediately obvious as his cock
hardened underneath the thin material of his uniform.

Harry left the bed for a moment to rummage around in his bag. There it
was, sure enough - a deadly looking blade attached to a short handle.

The dangerous smile was back as Harry rejoined his lover on the bed,
and used the knife to slice away the remainder of the Starfleet
uniform. Tuvok's ankles were then fastened to corner posts, raised
several inches off the bed to allow Harry access to Tuvok's vulnerable
entrance.

Harry enjoyed destroying the uniform - it was amusing to consider what
the Captain and Chakotay would think of the Computer's log when they
returned. The ship's computer would flag this item, and until the
owner of the uniform came up with a satisfactory explanation as to why
his uniform had been first torn then cut, the report would stay with
the First Officer pending disciplinary action.

Very deliberately, Harry removed the Starfleet insignia from the
remains of Tuvok's uniform and pinned it to the cord encircling
Tuvok's wrist, before taking another strip of the soft, white material
and placing it over Tuvok's mouth and tying it at the side of his
head.

First glancing up at the communicator pinned to his wrist restraints,
Tuvok then met Harry's eyes. The message from his young lover was very
clear. If the ship contacted Tuvok whilst he was bound and gagged, he
would be unable to respond in any way beyond a moan or a muffled yell.
In that event, it was probable that the transporter chief would be
ordered to lock on to his communicator badge and beam him up.

Naked, bound and gagged.

Harry was very tired of being interrupted when off duty with his
lover. If Tuvok had done his job properly when organising this
shore-leave, the two of them wouldn't be disturbed unless in a
red-alert emergency, in which case, Harry would release Tuvok and
answer the summons himself.

If, on the other hand, they were contacted by anyone on the ship for
anything less than a Class A Emergency, whoever was manning the
transporter pad would see a whole other side of their Security Chief.

Tuvok understood the message clearly. A human in his position would
have been praying at that point but Tuvok instead calculated the odds
of his instructions being ignored or forgotten by one of the 146 crew
members onboard Voyager. The mental calculation was not reassuring. As
Harry's hand headed to points south, Tuvok's sense of humour began to
reassert itself.

Bound to the bed, legs spread-eagled, exposed to his lover's every
whim, Tuvok had the brief thought that if he *was* transported to the
ship in this condition, at least the rumours about the size of his
cock would be confirmed. That cheering thought was immediately passed
mentally to his lover, and Tuvok was entranced by the sheer beauty of
the grin on Harry's face before he parted Tuvok's legs further and
began licking the vulnerable and exposed entrance to his lover's body.
A flush of heat consumed him at the touch, and Tuvok's cock hardened
even more.

Harry spent some time licking and kissing the exposed flesh, before
darting his tongue into the entrance of Tuvok's body and thrusting in
and out with the tip of his tongue. Tuvok bucked under Harry's
searching tongue, pulling hard at the restraints, but remained silent
behind the gag. Harry worked his way up Tuvok's body to his chest,
completely ignoring the engorged cock. He spent time licking and
sucking Tuvok's rib cage, nipples and chest, and worked his way up to
the exposed throat. With Harry's body covering his now as he sucked
hard on Tuvok's throat, Tuvok thrust up against him, pushing his
aching cock against Harry's body. Harry's mouth didn't leave Tuvok's
neck, he simply moved his body to one side of Tuvok's and continued
his assault.

Tuvok closed his eyes and a very quiet gasp was heard from behind the
gag as Harry casually inserted one finger into his body. The Ensign
left his neck alone suddenly, and moved down the bed until he reached
Tuvok's cock, and began sucking on the tip of it. The feeling was
bliss and Tuvok moaned and tried to push more of his cock inside
Harry's mouth. But the ropes allowed only a small amount of movement,
so Tuvok was forced to endure the ecstasy of Harry's tongue swiping
backwards and forwards over the tip of his cock while one, and then
two fingers fucked him casually.

Tuvok was throbbing now, and he could feel Harry's arousal through
their bond. The Ensign was licking the drops of pre-cum from Tuvok's
cock , and the Vulcan was alternately trying to thrust himself further
into Harry's mouth, and push back onto those fingers. Harry stroked
his prostate and Tuvok bucked hard, almost coming from that. A light
sheen of sweat covered his body, and he moaned despite himself as
Harry backed off to try something else.

Harry's tongue began an exploration of every inch of Tuvok's skin
between anus and ears as he had sucked, and licked, and nibbled.
Throughout his hands were often more distracting than his mouth,
lazily fingering Tuvok's balls, or wrapping around his cock for a few
blissful strokes.

When Harry's own arousal got too much to bear, he stripped off the
t-shirt and jeans and removed the restraints around Tuvok's ankles.
Harry then thrust into Tuvok and fucked him hard.

Tuvok's cock was hard and throbbing, and had been leaking copiously
for some time, but the Vulcan kept a stranglehold on his controls and
managed not to come himself, even with his legs over Harry's shoulders
and his body bucking involuntarily as he moaned with the intense
pleasure of Harry's cock pounding into his body.

His immediate needs sated, the younger man then tied Tuvok's ankles
once again to the corners of the bed, and began his tortuous campaign
once again. This time was slower, and even more agonising, as Harry's
mouth explored Tuvok's throat, and ears, and armpits, and collar bone.
Once again returning to Tuvok's cock, Harry pushed the very limits of
his lover's controls as he licked and sucked the engorged organ,
ignoring the groans from his lover that were building in tempo and
volume.

Eventually his own desire for Tuvok's cock inside him made Harry slip
the ankle restraints off, and reach up to remove the gag.

Kissing Tuvok's forehead lightly, Harry undid the Vulcan's wrist
restraints and tossed the material to the floor. The mental
communication between them made words unnecessary and it was Harry's
turn now to be overwhelmed by the rippling strength of Tuvok's muscles
as he swiftly turned, pinning Harry beneath him on the bed. The hours
of torturous foreplay were about to be repaid with a minimum of
finesse.

Tuvok had submitted with pleasure to Harry's desire to be in control,
but now his mind and body were overwhelmed with a very basic, primal
need to mate with his partner, to bury his cock balls deep inside the
tight welcome that was Harry Kim.

Harry was hard again, incredibly - but it was his turn to feel the
ache of swollen cock and balls and Tuvok turned him face down on the
mattress and swiftly lubricated him. Gentleness was forgotten by both
as Tuvok entered his lover, thrusting inside Harry with one deep
stroke that tore a scream from the younger man's throat. The pain of
his entry was ignored, as Tuvok plastered himself along Harry's back
and began to thrust hard into his lover. Harry barely managed to get
enough leverage on his knees to give his own cock some room - not an
easy feat given the complete lack of assistance from the 180 pounds of
muscled flesh currently on his back, pounding into his ass.

The two lovers were overwhelmed with the incredible pleasure of
fucking and being fucked - their mental communication stripped down to
the bare essentials of thrusting in and back, of possessing and being
possessed. Neither was aware of it, but the room was filled with the
sounds of flesh slapping against flesh, of Harry's voice pleading
incoherently, and of Tuvok's own gasping moans of satisfaction as his
throbbing cock was finally allowed some relief.

Tuvok came first, but Harry followed soon after, and the two collapsed
in a heap on the bed, Tuvok barely managing to pull out of Harry's
body before slumping beside him.

---

For the next two days the lovers never left their room. Food was
delivered via room service, and the two men made love several more
times on the giant four-poster bed. And on the balcony, in the
bathroom and in the Jacuzzi. They spoke very little, communicating
mentally for the most part and for the entire weekend they were not
disturbed once by the crew of Voyager.

On the night before they were to return to the starship, Harry and
Tuvok discussed the future. Harry was lying across the width of the
bed, his head pillowed in Tuvok's lap as the Vulcan toyed idly with
his lover's silky hair.

Out of the blue, Harry said, "You're not going back to her, Tuvok -
you're mine now."

Tuvok's mouth quirked slightly at the possessive jealousy in Harry's
tone. "Under the circumstances, it is likely that my wife and family
will already have performed my funeral ritual."

Harry looked troubled. "And if they haven't, Tuvok? What if you go
back there and T'Pel wants you back?"

Tuvok's fingers continued their exploration of Harry's hair. "In that
instance, I will request the K'yhan-ut-kal, which is a rite severing
our link. As we have been apart for a period of more than three years
without contact via our link, the K'yhan-ut-kal will be nothing more
than a formality. Unless my family know I am alive, they will have
already performed the ritual on the third anniversary of my
disappearance."

Harry was still disturbed. It had taken a while, but after so long in
the Delta Quadrant, he had finally accepted that Libby would not be
waiting for him when he got home. It was a relief to finally say
goodbye to that dream, as he had begun to feel guilty knowing that
even if they did get home tomorrow, he and Libby wouldn't be together.
He had changed too much for that to be a possibility.

Tuvok, on the other hand, had a marriage of more than 60 years to
consider, and four children into the bargain. Granted, Tuvok's sons
and daughter were all grown up, but it was hardly likely that they
would welcome the new addition to their father's life.

"What if the Romulan's message got through, Tuvok? What if they're
waiting for you?"

"Then they will have to understand that I have bonded with you. That
we are linked, and that you are my life-partner."

Harry smiled then, and looked up at his serious bondmate. Tuvok's
expression was as neutral as ever, but there was no denying the depth
of his commitment to their relationship.

Harry reached a hand up to pull one of Tuvok's hands down to his
mouth, and absently began kissing the veins in the elegant wrist as he
mulled over that answer.

Finally, he spoke.

"They won't like me."

Tuvok's wry smile was more obvious this time. "My children are Vulcan,
Harry - they will come to accept your importance in my life. I do not
believe they will have the same trouble with our relationship as your
parents will, for example."

Harry stopped nibbling on Tuvok's fingers and glanced up in surprise.
"My parents? They'll love you, Tuvok!"

Tuvok raised an eyebrow. "I am forty years older than your father,
Harry. I am a Vulcan. I do not believe they would approve of their
only child's choice of partner."

Harry put his lover's fears at rest. "Tuvok, you're looking at another
100 or so years of life, right? So am I. You'll make me happy, and
while my parents are alive, they'll be happy that I'm happy. And you
and I will get married commissions with Starfleet until we're tired of
that, and then we'll retire somewhere and grow old together." He
resumed his oral exploration of Tuvok's hand and wrist.

Tuvok continued to stroke Harry's hair with his free hand, and smiled
inwardly at the thought of his children's reaction to Harry Kim.
Unless they had several years to work on Harry's shields, his every
emotion would be on display. It was amusing to consider his rather
conservative family's reaction to the state of sexual arousal that
Harry was constantly in when around Tuvok. But however disapproving
they might be of his choice, there would be no denying the deep and
abiding love between them. In time, they would come to accept Harry.

There was no doubt in Tuvok's mind that, irrespective of his family's
reaction, he would remain with Harry. His life - always so planned, so
predictable - was now more like an exciting adventure than the mundane
existence he had considered returning to when he was meditating
earlier. Whether in the Delta Quadrant or the Alpha Quadrant, on Earth
or on Vulcan, in Starfleet or not, what was important was that he and
Harry would be together. Forever.

---

As the two beamed back onboard Voyager, and made their way to their
quarters, another wish of Harry's - made long ago - was granted.

His uniform completely wrecked, Tuvok had nothing else to wear than
the outfit he had worn months ago for a very private dinner with his
lover. Barely decent, the ensemble was never meant for anyone's eyes
but Harry's - but Tuvok's Starfleet uniform had been rendered
completely unwearable.

As they stepped off the transporter platform, it was clear from Ensign
Leaman's expression that the Chief of Security's dress had not gone
unnoticed. The faded jeans were thin enough so as to mold themselves
to the Vulcan's long legs and lean thighs. Harry had thoughtfully
disposed of his undergarments, the fabric left no-one in any doubt
that this particular Vulcan was extremely well endowed indeed.

The shirt was white and very sheer, and lacking any buttons or clasps.
A large expanse of muscled, smooth black chest showed clearly, and
with his sleeves neatly rolled up, Tuvok was showing some serious
skin.

Tuvok's face had remained completely impassive at the obvious goggling
of Ensign Leaman, and he had not shown the slightest bit of discomfort
at the gaping crewmembers they passed on the way to their quarters.

It was perhaps unfortunate that the Captain and Chakotay had chosen
that particular route to reach engineering. Politeness dictated that
the lovers stop and greet their commanding officers, who were both
having the greatest difficulty trying not to gape at the sight of
Voyager's Chief of Security looking... edible.

Barefoot, with those thin jeans and that shirt... the Captain's jaw
was somewhere down around her knees and Chakotay was trying hard not
to stare at the bulge between Tuvok's legs, or at the exposed flesh,
or basically anywhere on Tuvok's body.

Were it not for one small thing, there was every chance that Tuvok
would have seen the same humour in the situation that Harry was
seeing. But against all odds, not only did the two lovers seem to pass
every crewmember on the ship on the way back to their quarters, they
also passed a very crowded mess hall just as the lunch crowd were
beginning to leave.

The two men strode passed the mesmerized crew and would have made it
to the turbolift with dignity intact had Tom Paris not chosen that
moment to emerge from the Mess Hall. As the doors to the turbolift
began to close behind Harry and Tuvok, a piercing wolf whistle broke
the silence.

There were those amongst the crowd who swore ever after that Tuvok,
Voyager's Vulcan Chief of Security, actually blushed.

---

continued in the fifth story in the Of Love and Logic series 'A Matter of Control'