The BLTS Archive - Better Than Chocolate
by Your Cruise Director (cruisedirector@livejournal.com)

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Warning: gratuitous sequel alert. A couple of people asked me what
happened after Chakotay buzzed Janeway's door in "Surprise Inspection";
here's Kathryn's version of events.

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Kathryn had chocolate in her mouth when the door chime sounded. Looking
at the small chunk remaining, she realized that she had eaten nearly the
entire two pounds, all by herself. She had a lovely full feeling in her
belly, and below her belly, warm like her cheeks with too much blood and
too many thoughts she shouldn't have let loose. Maybe it was the
chocolate.

The chime was a question, and it wasn't just "Can I come in?" But it was
also an answer to her parting shot leaving his quarters earlier, the one
she should have known better than to allow herself after his comment
about variations on surprise inspections. That was a pass, and she
responded by inviting him back to her quarters, in which he had undoubtedly
spent the past several minutes picturing her in her underwear. The flush
spread through her again, across her face and through her loins.

"Come in," she said in what was supposed to be her most imperious voice,
so it startled her when it came out more like a purr.

Chakotay gave her a warm, conspiratorial grin as he strode into the
room. He flicked his eyes momentarily at the red sweatsuit she'd thrown
on when she chased him to his own quarters--an outfit she hadn't worn in
who knew how many months, and which she was perfectly aware was too
tight - but he didn't leer; either he wanted to gauge her intentions, or
he wasn't really interested in what his words had suggested, just having
some fun flirting. It had been so long since they'd done that, she'd
almost forgotten how much she enjoyed it before it got too dangerous to
continue.

She stole a glance down at the front of his pants, but if he was burning
with desire, she couldn't see it in the dim light of her quarters with
him dressed in black. "Do I pass your inspection?" she asked.

"I haven't seen enough yet to know." He raised a teasing eyebrow, but
smiled circumspectly at her. Much as it pained her to dwell on the
troubling fact, Kathryn knew that her behavior this evening probably
struck him as even more out of character than her inexplicable rage this
morning. She couldn't explain what had made her so out of sorts; maybe
it was too little coffee, maybe it was something she ate the night
before. Maybe it was the fact that no one had made love to her in five
years. Considering that statistic, she reflected that it would probably
be more natural for her to throw off her clothes and grab Chakotay than
not.

She wanted him to make love to her. She also wanted him to grab her,
push her down on her couch and make her come, right now, without any
words or silent adoration. She wondered which would cause less
trouble in the morning.

"You may not believe this, but this is the real me," she told him. "Not
the banshee on the bridge this morning. I just haven't acted like me in
a very long time."

"Five years, then," he agreed, his smile fading. Kathryn swallowed the
chocolate-flavored saliva that had gathered in her throat.

"Out here, I keep finding myself doing things I would never do. Breaking
the Prime Directive. Negotiating with terrorists." He cocked his head
meaningfully. "I would like to know if I am still capable of...enjoying
myself. For my own morale as well as the ship's. Right now I think
that's more important than protocol."

She watched his face light up, watched him start to reach out for her
before checking himself and the joy radiating from him. "You'd better
tell me what you have in mind, Kathryn."

"I thought you wanted to play 'Surprise Inspection.'"

Chakotay's stance shifted subtly. "As you can probably see, I'm dying to
play 'Surprise Inspection' with you. But I need to know...what I'm
looking for. Whether we're just having fun together or..."

"What are you looking for?" she interrupted.

He stood for a minute, wavering between a grin followed by the joking
they'd begun earlier in his quarters and something more complicated. His
palms turned up in supplication. "I want...to keep you happy, Kathryn,"
he admitted. "Maybe it shouldn't, but it makes me feel good when you're
happy, especially if I had something to do with it. It has an effect on
everyone on this ship when you're happy, but I admit my motives are
selfish." He stopped to draw breath. "If you just want to have fun
together, it's all right with me, but if that's all you want, I'd rather
know before I offer something I shouldn't."

The quiet resignation in his voice drew her toward him as her eyes began
to sting. "You haven't been the real you for a long time, either."

"I haven't been the real me since it became necessary for me to join the
Maquis." His expression grew bleak, then a different kind of light shone
in his eyes. "I think I came close with you, at least for awhile.
Kathryn, I'd love to try that again."

This is a command issue, she thought--our lack of communication, the
fact that we don't trust each other anymore. That I need him, and make
demands on him, and stop functioning as I should when he can't meet
those demands, yet I have refused to give him what he needs. She thought
of speaking about it, but they had done enough dissecting. They needed
to heal.

Instead of answering, she kissed him.

For a moment it was like the first mouthful of candy--impossible not to
compare to what she vaguely remembered it to be like from years before,
but also impossible not to enjoy, so that the comparison seemed odious
and she let it go. Then it was just him, kissing her back, licking her
lips to share the sticky sweetness which remained on both their tongues.
She could smell chocolate and his skin and her own sweat, which somehow
seemed to go together. Another surge of heat in her lower body made her
impatient; she thought about leading him to her couch, but that might
convey a certain message, a kind of transitory feeling. Instead she took
his hands and pulled him into her bedroom, where he watched openmouthed
as she stripped down to her underwear and pressed against the wall.

"Inspect me," she whispered.

Kathryn expected him to turn her towards him, but not the speed with
which he then slid down her body, taking a nipple into his mouth and
sucking hard while his hands tore at her panties. When he had her naked,
he stopped to strip off his own clothes, sitting on her floor while she
looked down at him. Once he finished, he cupped her rear in his hands
and pulled her close, nudging her legs apart with his chin so that she
had to put a hand back on the wall for balance. After a quick glance up
at her to make sure this was what she wanted, he opened his mouth,
licked up her thigh and proceeded to devour her with the same pleasure
with which she had eaten his chocolate.

Less than two minutes later, his chin and hands were soaking wet, and
her mouth was so dry from the chocolate and from crying out that he went
into the bathroom to get a towel and a glass of water. He sat with her
on the side of her bed while she drank it, unhurried, his swollen cock
rising like an intruding pet between his legs. When the cup was empty,
she lay it down on her blanket and leaned over to suck him. The water
had been cold, and Chakotay jolted a bit before giving in to the
pleasure she offered him. He tasted salty after she had eaten so much candy,
a nice contrast, and she didn't let him stop her until he had filled her mouth
with hot, bitter fluid.

"I need a chocolate break," she said when she sat up.

"Haven't had enough yet?" His smile was warm, but he was trembling
slightly. She put a hand on his chest to reassure him.

"Not nearly enough. Stay and snack with me?"

"Sure. Though I'm a little full right this second."

"Then just stay." She brought what was left of the chocolate over to the
bed, taking a small bite just for the flavor, but after she finished
chewing it she took his hand and pulled him to lie down with her.
Chakotay pulled her into his arms and lay stroking her hair, kissing her
forehead in what would have been lovely sticky sleepy aftermath if he
didn't seem agitated. "What is it?"

"I think I'm in over my head."

"How do you mean?"

"I thought I could do this just for fun. I can't. I'm sorry, but I
needed to tell you that before we do anything else."

"I have no intention of doing this just for fun. I thought you
understood that."

"I understand. Now." He fell silent, running his fingers through the
strands of her hair as if he were digging for something. Kathryn shifted
against his body, noting the feel and texture of skin she'd never before
encountered. She'd thought she knew him so well. His arms tightened
suddenly around her. "I thought I understood that you loved me once, and
it turned out that I was wrong, or that you changed your mind, or you
could just turn it off when you needed to--it took me a long time to
accept. Maybe I never accepted it but I learned how to live with it.
Now...I know it was a lie."

"Are you worried I'll put you through that again?" she asked. "I won't,
Chakotay."

"I'm also...I guess I'm angry. This is opening all that up."

Kathryn reached over him to the table beside the bed where she'd placed
what was left of the chocolate. Peeling a sliver with her fingernail,
she placed it on his lips.

"What's that for?"

"To get rid of the bad taste I obviously left in your mouth."

"Not that way." Chakotay studied her body a little wistfully. "You're
beautiful," he marveled as if he were looking at an astronomical
phenomenon. "I'm afraid...of getting too attached to this. Like the
chocolate--it's going to be gone soon. I didn't even remember missing it
until I had some."

"Neither did I. It made me realize there are some things I won't live
without." His full lips revealed the barest hint of a frown. For the
second time that evening, she said, "Tell me what you want, Chakotay."

"I want to be your lover." When her eyes widened--he wasn't particularly
aroused at the moment--he added, "I want to be able to tell you that,
and have you say it to me, without having to worry that it's not
appropriate, or that you're going to use it against me. When I'm in my
own bed, I want to be able to love you without having to think about
something else because it hurts. Even when we can't do anything about it
I don't want to doubt how I feel. Can you give me that, Kathryn?"

"I can try. I will try." He didn't look convinced, and for the first
time she seriously considered that it might not be enough--he might want
to leave. Moving over him, she lay atop him so that their skin was in
contact virtually everyplace they could touch. He reached around her to
hold her very tightly, until the friction of their flesh and the warmth
of their bodies gave him a bit of an erection. She pushed herself down,
taking him into her body, also relatively unaroused but when she reached
over and took a small bite of the chocolate, which she deposited with
her mouth on his lips, he nibbled at her and swelled to fill her until
suddenly they were straining together, gasping at the unexpected hunger,
moving in impatient thrusts as their bodies caught up with the emotional
craving that gnawed at them. Her orgasm was hard and deep with him
pressed inside her; he rolled her over afterwards, pounding her in a
rapid, shallow rhythm while his mouth devoured hers.

Afterwards, damp and sated, she wallowed against Chakotay's dozing form
and contemplated the chocolate now melting on her table. She would have
several messes to clean up in the morning, and if anyone chose to spring
a surprise inspection on either of them, they were in big trouble.
Kathryn allowed herself a sleepy smile of satisfaction. She hadn't
gotten what she'd been looking for this morning when she'd been
compelled to make changes, but this was much, much better.

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The End