The BLTS Archive - Deeds Done In Darkness
by Emma Woodhouse

---

Disclaimer:  Obviously, this is not an authorized work, and Paramount
has nothing to do with it.

Warning:  NC-17 for sex.  Lovingly described.  In great detail.

Reintroduction:  It's been so long since I've posted a story that some
of the newcomers have perhaps never heard of me, so Hi.  I'm "Emma
Woodhouse" -- well, not really, but that's what I call myself in these
parts.  I posted a number of Voyager stories back in '96. (Goodness,
has it been that long?)  My stories were almost exclusively slash, and
are available both in the ASC archive, and the Star Trek Slash
Archive.  (For those who are willing to venture outside Trekdom, I
also have several stories in The Sentinel Slash Archive.)

Some of the old-timers might remember that back when I posted Command
Performance, I said I'd do an m/f someday.  I actually had a story
started, but it fell by the wayside, what with Real Life and other
things.  This is that story.  A friend, who incomprehensibly does not
care for slash, thought this was rather nice, and encouraged me to
complete and post it.  So it's not exactly new, though it hasn't been
posted before.

Since this story began, things have happened in canon that probably
negate much of it, so just think of it as taking place in an Alternate
Universe, somewhere in second season.

---

Tired as she was, she couldn't sleep.  She lay in the bed, watching
the stars stream by, wondering what their names were, or did they even
have names?

This part of space seemed sparsely inhabited, traversed only by
traders hurrying to busier parts of the galaxy.  So maybe these stars
had no names.

Her name was Kathryn.  Not that it mattered.  No one had called her
that for over a year.  In this part of space, she had no name, either.
She had a title, though.  She was called Captain. She wished she could
sleep.  A dozen quotations about sleep ran through her mind, most of
them from Shakespeare.  She had once dated a captain who was really
big on Shakespeare, he seemed to have a quote for every occasion.  She
thought confusedly about murdered sleep, about ravelled sleeves of
care.  None of them seemed to fit.

God, I'm just so lonely.

She wanted to touch someone.  She wanted someone to touch her. But she
couldn't do that.  In this part of space, she wasn't Kathryn.  She was
the Captain.

To court sleep, she indulged in her favorite fantasy.  The young
officer.  The one she couldn't have, didn't dare.  Because he was
younger, so junior, and because - well, he wouldn't take it seriously.
He wasn't a very serious person, she thought.  But, oh god, so
beautiful!

In her fantasy, she quietly entered the room where he slept, and
quietly slipped into his bed.  And in the darkness she put her hand to
his lips to warn him not to speak, and then she kissed him. And made
love to him, him never knowing her name.  Out here, she didn't have a
name....

---

.... Well, goodness, Kathy!  What a mind this girl has got! The
powerful entity read the woman's fantasy, and liked it.  He liked it a
lot.

He studied humans.  He spent most of his time in  the Alpha Quadrant,
where most of his human friends were (though whether or not they would
call themselves friends of his was another matter). But he still
looked in from time to time on lonely little Voyager, lost in the
Delta Quadrant.  Their plight interested him.  Their daily lives and
little concerns amused him.

Here was this woman, the Captain, cut off from Star Fleet, she was
basically a benign dictator to all the souls onboard.  And yet she
wouldn't allow herself to simply take the man she wanted. We'll see
about that!  Time for a little meddling. Relax, Kathy, go to sleep.
Yes, sleep, like a good girl. You're going to have a dream.  And
you're going to like it....

---

.... A dream.  She was having a dream.  She had thought she heard a
voice, saying something about a dream, and now she was standing in the
darkness.  She heard faint movement from the platform in front of her,
from the bed.  A soft sigh.

Her fantasy.  This was her fantasy.  Kathryn slowly slipped off her
robe, and slid naked into the bed, where the young man was
sleeping....

---

....Tom Paris awoke with a start.  Someone - someone was in the bed
with him.

He lay very still, wondering what was going on.  He thought back to
the previous evening.  Had he brought some woman back to his quarters,
and forgotten all about it?  Surely not, he wasn't that forgetful!

Let's see.  He'd played a little pool, got royally beaten by Harry in
the Filthy Engineering Limerick contest (the kid's got a mind like a
sewer, he thought in admiration), and he'd only had one drink and it
had been a synthehol.  As for female companionship, forget it.  No luck
last night.

No luck for a lot of nights, he realized with a sigh.  When he had
first come aboard Voyager, after over a year in prison, his hopes were
high.  He had envisioned a veritable cornucopia of sexual delights.
It had been such a long time.  The reality was very different, though.
He tried to maintain a reputation as a lady's man, but his closest
friends knew it was all a lot of hot air.

But right at this moment, there was someone in bed with him. As the
person moved closer beside him, he realized that it was a woman.  And
she was naked. So was he.  Never saw much point in pajamas, but right
now he wished he were wearing some.  Who was this person? He could
feel her now, though he couldn't see a thing, and she was leaning over
him, and he said, "What - ", but she quickly covered his lips with her
fingers. And then with her mouth....

---

....Kathryn finally kissed the young man she had admired for so long.
Strong lips, lips that smiled easily.  Oh!  Talented lips!  She kissed
him again, and felt his arms come around her. Finally, to touch
someone.  To be touched by someone.

It seemed so real!....

---

....This lady means business!  Mmm!  Feels so good.  Tom put his arms
around her and pulled her closer, joining the kiss.

Okay, first on the agenda, figure out who this little honey is....

---

....She felt his tongue on her lips, and sucked it into her mouth,
sucked eagerly, feeling a sharp stab of desire deep in the pit of her
stomach....

---

....Through a haze of desire and disbelief, Tom thought, well, make
that second on the agenda.  Because top of the agenda is to make sure
she has a good time, and wants to come back.  Whoever she is!....

---

....He was holding her close now, and she'd been starved for this,
starved!  She kissed him fiercely, almost bruisingly hard, and again,
and again.  Then she kissed him open-mouthed, and caressed his tongue
with her own.  She could heard his breath quicken, and knew that she
was exciting him.

And then she thought, slow down, Kathryn, or your dream will be over
in ten minutes.  She managed to pull herself back under control, and
wrench her lips from his, and oh, they didn't want to leave!  Leaning
over him, she took a deep breath, and then leaned close and kissed him
again, a quick, light kiss, and many more just like it.

To her astonishment and delight, he quickly adjusted to her change in
pace, lightly kissing back.  She thought with some amusement that if
this really were Tom Paris, no way would he be letting her set the
pace like this.  But this was her dream lover, and he would do what
she wanted.

As he kissed her gently, his hands explored her face, running lightly
over her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks.  As his hands stroked her
throat she felt dizzy from the touch.  For over a year now, she had
watched those hands work a console, and thought to herself, artist's
hands, poet's hands.  Now she thought - lover's hands....

---

....Tom was glad his mystery guest had slowed down.  He was ready, of
course, he could do her this minute.  But he didn't want this to be
over, not any time soon.  He wanted to say to her, take your time,
lady, we've got all night.  But for some reason, talking seemed to be
against the rules.

He wondered why.  And then the question of identity.  He explored her
face with his fingertips, and they seemed to think she was beautiful,
so why was she hiding in the dark?

Smooth forehead, so she wasn't B'Elanna.  He would have suspected
B'Elanna because of the daring nature of this midnight raid, but no.
The ears were rounded, thin and delicate, so she wasn't Kes.  As if.

He'd known from the first moment that she wasn't either of the Delaney
sisters.  Jenny was much more well padded, and Megan would be sure to
be giggling right now.

For a very brief moment, he'd thought of Sue Nicoletti, because he'd
certainly been trying to catch her eye.  But Sue had short curly hair,
and this mystery lover had long hair.  He wished he could see it.  He
wanted to know the color of her eyes and hair, already certain they
would be beautiful.  Long, straight, silken hair, when he gathered it
into his hands, it cascaded through his fingers like milk.

Maybe she wasn't anyone he knew, anyone on the ship.  Maybe she'd been
created just for him.  That made as much sense as anything, because
she felt just perfect....

---

....Kathryn gently kissed the young man on the eyelids, and then on
the temple.  Her hand cupped the back of his head, and she knew that
his hair was gold, and his eyes were blue.  She lightly stroked his
cheek, so soft, and the nape of his neck.  How sweet he was being, her
dream lover.  And her fingers informed her that he looked just like
beautiful Tom Paris.

His arm came around her back, and he rolled with her until she was
lying on the bed.  Now he was the one leaning over her, and he kissed
her again, so gently, and his hands ran down her shoulders and arms
and she shivered.

She reached up and began to stroke his body, feeling the strength of
his shoulders, and her fingers ran lightly through the curls on his
chest.  She could feel a faint dampness on his skin now, he liked what
she was doing, and she could tell he was trying to breathe easily.
She reached out to the back of his neck and pulled him down to be
kissed again.

And then he ran his hands gently over her collarbone, and then lightly
down until he held her breasts.  Her nipples were already hard, and
when his thumbs lightly flicked them, she gave a sharp hiss....

---

....As Tom cradled his lady's breasts, he tried to think through the
fog of desire he had surrendered to.  He would like to pretend that he
knew all about women's bodies, but right now, he couldn't even say if
these soft breasts were large or small.  He only knew that they were -
just right.  He almost laughed, then, thinking this must be a fairy
tale, and he was Goldilocks, but he knew better than to laugh with a
beautiful woman in his arms.

So he scooted down a bit lower on the bed, and took one of those
nipples into his mouth.  She liked that.  He felt her squirm a little,
and she couldn't hold back a moan.  He moved to the other breast,
while gently pinching the other nipple with his fingers. After a nip
to heighten sensitivity, he swirled his tongue around one nipple, then
the other, and she was moving now!

Now he rolled on top of her, holding both breasts in his hands,
squeezing almost roughly as he again brought his lips to her mouth.
And when she felt his tongue caress her lips, she sucked it in, sucked
hard, and then gave him her tongue....

---

....He was lying on top of her now, and her mouth was busy, working
with his, and her breasts were getting the attention they deserved for
the first time in far too long.  She could feel the muscles of his
thighs against her legs, and his erection was digging insistently into
her belly.

For a moment it occurred to Kathryn that she had never had a dream
with this level of detail.  But that thought went flying from her
consciousness, replaced by the far more interesting thought, any time
now!

She wanted him, inside her, right this minute, and the fluids between
her legs testified to her readiness.  But when he moved off of her,
and spread her legs, she was surprised that he didn't immediately dive
into her.  Instead, he moved lower down in the bed, placed her legs
over his shoulders, and brought his tongue to her dripping folds....

---

....Tom was astonishing himself.  How could he allow himself to hold
off this long, he wondered.  He should be inside her right now, she
obviously wanted it.  But he ran his tongue over her labia, and the
juices told him how ready she was.  He licked her thoroughly, again
and again, and thrust his tongue as far as he could inside her, and
then turned his attention to her clitoris, and felt her hips start to
respond.  He twirled, and she was gasping now, he sucked, and she was
moaning.

Then he thrust, first one finger, then two, deep inside her, moving
his fingers, almost curling them inside her as he twirled with his
tongue, and then sucked deeply.

Her hands were clutching his hair, painfully hard, and she bucked up
against his face, threw back her head, and screamed.

As she loosened her hold on his hair, he moved up the bed to lie
beside her, and pulled her face to the side so he could kiss her and
thrust his tongue into her mouth.

She threw her arms around him, and she was strong, and he could feel
her heart beating rapidly against his chest, and she gasped and
panted, trying to regain control....

---

....And just as she was about to recover control of her body, he
rolled back on top of her, between her legs, and entered her smoothly,
but so quickly and so powerfully that she came again.

The dream lover lay on top of her now, buried deep inside her, and her
heart was thundering again.  And then he began to move, move inside
her, building up the friction, building up the desire, and she was on
the uphill slope again, building up to another explosion.

He was getting there too, she could hear him gasping and feel the
sweat of him, and he was so close, almost there, and he quickly
reached between them and placed his fingers over her clitoris,
manipulating it roughly so they could come in unison....

....He cried out when she did, and managed, who knows how, to signal
his climax with a wordless shout.  Now he lay on top of her, panting,
and fighting the terrible, almost irresistible urge to say something.

He wanted to tell her how wonderful she was, and how beautiful.  He
wanted to let her know how much this meant to him, and how grateful he
was that she had chosen him.  But he was afraid to.  Afraid a word
would make her vanish, or, if she were a real mortal woman, would make
her flee.

So he rolled off his mystery lady, and pulled her into his arms and
tried to tell her the same thing with his hands and lips....

---

....Kathryn lay in the young man's arms, feeling better than she had
felt in who knows how long.  She thought to herself, this is where he
falls asleep, and I can tiptoe out.  But his lips were on hers, and
his hands roamed her body, and to her astonishment, she felt herself
responding again.

They were side by side on the rumpled bed, and his hand drifted down
between her legs, and she threw one leg over his hip, to give him
better access.  Now he was thrusting deep inside her with his fingers,
kissing her insistently all the while, and she could feel him
hardening again against her hip.

His thumb manipulated her clitoris as his fingers thrust and rotated,
and her hips started moving, thrusting back against the intruding
hand, gripping the fingers fiercely until she came again. Incredible.
He really was incredible.  Her fantasies were never this good, she
thought, as she felt herself being moved onto her back, and then felt
him enter her again....

---

....Tom couldn't believe it.  He was astonishing himself.  If he were
only this good all the time, he'd have to beat the women off with a
stick!

You inspire me, lady, he thought deliriously, as he thrust into her
powerfully, again and again.  Who ARE you?

Her perfectly sized breasts were in his hands, and her perfectly sized
vagina was gripping him deliciously, squeezing him along his whole
length, and he was kissing her, couldn't stop kissing her.  He felt
her gasps becoming faster, turn into moans, and then she was coming,
and feeling her powerful spasm of pleasure sent him spiralling after
her.

And he had done it.  He had never said a word....

---

....She should leave now.  She really ought to leave.  However much
she wanted to stay.  And she did want to stay.  This fantasy lover was
almost too good, certainly better than any man in her experience.
Kathryn was afraid that she would begin to court sleep too assiduously
now, hoping for this dream.

With a burst of willpower, she pulled herself from his arms, and he
seemed as reluctant as she was.  He still didn't speak, but she could
sense his powerful desire for her to stay, to be with him a while
longer.

Shakily, she managed to leave the bed.  She groped in the dark until
she found her robe, and pulled it around herself, belting it with a
decisive hand to tell herself that she was moving out.

In the darkness, she sensed that the young man had moved to the edge
of the bed....

---

....Tom sat up on the edge of the bed, feeling his lover making
preparations to depart.  He felt quite desolate, and reached out in
the darkness until his hand found her body.  He felt her stiffen, and
didn't want to frighten her away, so discovered her hand, and pulled
it to his lips.

Since she was leaving anyway, he would risk breaking the spell, or the
rules, or whatever kept them bound to silence.  So he spoke, but in
the softest whisper he could, and he said, "Please. Come back again."

He felt her shiver, and her hand caressed his cheek, and he wondered
what that meant....

....Oh, if only she could speak to him, if only he wouldn't recognize
her voice!  She wanted so badly to comfort him, to reassure him.  But
she told herself sternly, it's only a dream, and hoped her touch was
assurance enough....

---
....How sweet!  The powerful entity watched this scene, as he had
watched all that preceded it, for darkness was no match for him.  And
neither was silence.  Kathy had not been able to hide her fantasy from
him, and so he had given it to her. Now, let's just get everyone back
where they belong, and see what develops from here.

Sleep, now.  Sleep, my children, and let old Uncle Q tuck you into
your little beds.  You'll have lots to think about tomorrow....

---

Kathryn Janeway woke up feeling marvellous.  She stretched in bed
luxuriously, feeling securely confident that she was the most
beautiful, desirable woman in the world.

Huh?  Where did that come from?

And then she remembered her dream.  That incredibly lengthy and
astonishingly detailed dream.  She clutched the covers under her chin,
blushing hotly, thinking, Libido Alert!

Amazingly, the dream had left her with the same morning-after feeling
as the real thing.  She felt simply glorious.

Kathryn slipped out of bed, and headed for the shower.  As she began
to walk, she thought, uh-oh!  She felt a tenderness between her legs,
a slight soreness, and as long as it had been she still remembered
what that meant.

You feel like you've been royally fucked, my dear!  How on earth - ?

Could any of that have been - real?  But how was that possible?  She
thought about it, and the only solution she could come up with was
sleepwalking.

Had she reached such a state of need that she was walking trancelike
through the ship, looking for young men to molest? Where had she been
last night?  Who with?

One way to find out.  Kathryn was a scientist, and thought like one -
well, most of the time.  She took a swab from the container on the
counter, and carefully inserted it between her legs, deep into her
vagina.  Then she got that package of slides from her closet, and
prepared a smear for analysis.

And once she was ready to face the world, in a captain's uniform, with
every hair in place, the slide went with her in an inner pocket.  Now
she just needed to find a DNA sequencer unattended....

---

....Boy, Tom was sure in an odd mood today, Harry Kim thought,
watching his friend eating lunch.  So jumpy.  He had skipped breakfast
and skidded onto the bridge just ten seconds shy of being late for
watch.  Fortunately, the Captain and First Officer were off on a
materials inspection, and Tuvok had merely raised an eyebrow.  And Tom
hadn't been actually late.

Right now, he seemed to be pondering something with great seriousness,
and every time the doors open, he looked up to see who had come into
the mess hall.

Harry wondered if trouble was brewing.  There were still Star Fleet
officers on the ship who hated Tom Paris, for the Caldik Prime
incident, and for joining the Maquis.  And there were also Maquis
onboard who hated him for having helped Star Fleet try to find them.
All water under the bridge, as far as Harry was concerned, silly
things to be getting worked up over; it made him want to say come on,
guys, this is the Delta Quadrant.

There had been a few incidents, early in this mission.  This mission?
This exodus, this pilgrimage, hegira, whatever!  And there had been
blows exchanged on a few occasions.  But Chakotay had knocked some
sense into a few of the Maquis, and Harry had talked some sense into a
few of the Star Fleet offenders, and he had thought they were past
anything but a few dirty looks.  He wished Tom would tell him what was
going on.

Tom was still working on the question that had become the most
important question in his life.  Who was she? He was mentally
reviewing the female roster of Voyager, and had eliminated most of
them already, when he glanced over at the serving hatch and froze.

Captain Janeway was on her way out, and had stopped to talk with
Neelix for a moment.  Her back was to him, and for the first time he
seriously noticed the fact that she wore her hair up, that she had
long hair.

Of course, he knew that all along, but never even thought to consider
- still, think about long hair.  The Captain's hair was longer than
most of the other women on the ship, only little Parsons in Stellar
Cartography had hair as long, and she was only about four foot eleven.

From the hair clue alone, the answer seemed to be - Kathryn Janeway?
Tom realized that Harry was looking at him funny, and quickly put his
fork back down.

From the corner of his eye, he saw that Neelix was handing her
something, a biscuit apparently, and he observed that narrow hand with
the long tapering fingers, comparing it to the hands in the darkness.

Tom tore his eyes away, because he was starting to get an erection,
and started discussing with Harry the rules for the next limerick
contest....

---

....As the Captain left the mess hall, she passed Kes entering.  Once
in the corridor, Kathryn looked both ways. Deserted.  She said
quietly, "Computer, is the Emergency Medical Holographic Program
activated?"

"Negative," the computer replied.  A-ha!  One DNA sequencer coming
right up.  She hurried to Sickbay.

Sickbay was blessedly deserted, and she hurried to the DNA sequencer,
pulling out the sample slide she had prepared.  She placed the slide
on the analysis pad, and said breathlessly, "Computer, run DNA
sequences for the sample on the pad."

"Sequences complete."

"How many separate DNA strands are present?"

"Two strands are present."

Of course there were.  "Computer, call up file DNA sequence for
Kathryn Janeway, and eliminate that strand from analysis."

"Strand eliminated."

"Now call up file DNA sequences for all personnel on board, and find a
match for the sample sequence."

"Working - "

As the computer performed its analysis, Kathryn jittered around the
deserted Sickbay, willing the door to remain closed. She watched the
sequencer in frustration, muttering, "Come on, come onnnn!"

"Analysis complete."

She flew back to the screen.  "Is there a match?"

"Affirmative.  Sample DNA is a match for file DNA of Lieutenant Thomas
Paris."

So that was that.  She thought, well, at least I molested the man I
thought I was molesting!

"Computer, erase last analysis from the DNA sequencer, and erase
backup file from main computer.  Authorization Janeway Gamma Six Four
Delta."

"Erasure complete."

She let out an exaggerated puff of relief, just as the doors opened,
and Ensign Wildman entered with her baby.

"Computer, activate Emergency Medical Holographic Program," the ensign
said, and as the Doctor appeared, noticed the Captain in the corner.

"Oh, hello, Captain, I didn't see you over there," the young woman
said pleasantly.

The Doctor gave her a dour look; he'd caught her using his equipment
again!  If she'd just tell him what she wanted done, he'd perform any
research she requested.  But these types who came up from the
sciences, they were just too curious, always wanting to see for
themselves.

"Ensign Wildman, I assume you are here for your baby's checkup," the
Doctor said with great formality.  "Captain?  How can I help you?"

"Oh, I was just - it's nothing, really."  And as she left, Kathryn
casually pushed the slide into the replicator's recycling module,
where it was instantly vaporized....

---

....Back on the bridge, Tom was thankful when Tuvok spent the rest of
the watch putting the bridge crew through some particularly rigorous
battle drills.  He didn't want to think about his new hypothesis right
now, not in public.  He was afraid his thoughts would result in an all
too visible reaction.

So he spent several hours eluding simulated Romulans and Klingons, and
Tuvok tried out his new simulations for Vidiians, which incorporated
what they knew to date on Vidiian tactics, and that little drill was
sufficiently hairy to keep Tom busy and occupied....

---

....Kathryn was supposed to be going over personnel evaluations, but
was restlessly pacing her ready room.  She told herself sternly that
she should be ashamed of herself, but the thought that kept intruding
on her consciousness was - five orgasms, FIVE!

Had she been sleepwalking?  She wondered if she should have the Doctor
check her out.  But she had just had a physical, so what pretext could
she come up with?  If she told him the real story, she thought he
might relieve her of duty.  And maybe he would be justified.  Was she
going crazy, or turning rogue?

(But, oh, those lips, those hands!)....

---

....When Harry beat Tom at pool the second time in a row, Tom decided
that he might as well give up trying to act normal.  "I'm going to
pack it in, Harry.  Maybe an early night will put me back on form."

"What's with you today, anyway?"  Harry asked, as he reracked the
balls.

"Just tired, I think.  I - didn't get much sleep last night."

And Tom departed, with Harry's parting admonition about Neelix's
herbal tea fading behind him....

---

....Kathryn lay in bed, watching the stars through the window. She was
wearing her frumpiest nightgown and had pulled up the covers with
mathematical exactness.  She was busy reading the riot act to herself.

What is the matter with you, girl?  Are you so horny and desperate
that you'll start molesting young men, and not just any young man, but
the son of your mentor?

She tried to imagine what Admiral Paris would have to say at such a
turn of events.  But the admiral had written his son off, hadn't
spoken to him in years, never knew what a fine young man Tom had
become.

Fine, and talented, sensual and beautiful -

Stop that!

Think about Star Fleet Command.  Why, if this were the Alpha Quadrant,
this latest maneuver of hers could get her relieved for cause.  Maybe
even court martialled.  Fraternization was the best you could say
about it.  And considering the nature of her sneak attack, an
aggressive prosecutor might even go for sexual assault.

Assault?  A part of her snickered at the very idea, asking, did he
seem unwilling?

That's not the point.  The point is - oh, what was the point? Oh, yes.
Discipline and chain of command and self-control.

Self-control, her mind said.  But her body, after its recent feast,
was unwilling to return to the famine conditions of the past year.  Oh
please, it was saying, get me some more of that!....

---

....Alone in his bed, Tom finally had the opportunity to examine his
latest hypothesis.  He was busy correlating what his eyes knew of
Kathryn Janeway with what his hands had learned of the mystery lady.
Hands, and lips, arms and legs.

So far he couldn't think of anything to rule her out.

Wouldn't it be something if it really had been Captain Janeway?
Probably the only woman on the ship he had never fantasized about!

Because she was too important to be cast in sleazy fantasies, she was
the woman who saved his life.  Or his soul.

She had given him a second chance, when everyone in the galaxy had
given up on him.  She had trusted him, and believed in him, and given
him a new life.  He would have died for her in a heartbeat, and proud
to do it.  But it had never occurred to him to lust after her; he had
been too busy worshipping her. But it was sure occurring to him
now!....

---

....The next day was pure hell on the senior staff.  The Captain was
on a tear, examining every report, peering into every Jefferies tube,
second-guessing every operation.

At lunch, Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres commiserated with Harry Kim and
Tom Paris.  " - and now I have to do a complete analysis of every line
item in the fuel consumption report!  Give me a break!"

"I know what you mean," Ensign Kim said.  "I had to redo my diagnostic
schedule for the sensor arrays three times before she finally accepted
it."

"You know what it reminds me of?"  Tom suggested.  "The captain of the
Exeter right before the IG's visit."

B'Elanna snorted.  "Well, if the Star Fleet Inspector General can find
his way here, I don't know about you guys, but I'm thumbing a ride
home!"

"She hasn't been bugging you, Tom," Harry pointed out. "What's your
secret?"

"You just have to keep low, Harry," Tom said with an attempt at
airiness.

But then B'Elanna said, "What do you think has gotten into her?" and
he immediately read a double meaning into that remark, and choked on
his greehal juice....

---

....Was she ever going to get to sleep, ever again?

She had to stop thinking about this, simply had to.  How could she
even think about taking further advantage of the boy, hadn't she done
enough already?

She had thought she was helping him out when she recruited him for the
Badlands mission.  Oh, he was the only man Star Fleet could think of
who might know where the Maquis were hiding.  But in the back of her
mind, she had thought, a break for the Paris boy.  A quick lightning
raid into the Badlands, and then the kid is out of prison and can get
on with his life.  The admiral may have given up on Tom, but his
mother worried.  And Silvia Paris was a nice lady, a little meek,
perhaps, but nice.  Kathryn thought she could do that nice lady a
favor and help out the scapegrace son.

And instead, look what's happened.  The young man is trapped on a ship
on the wrong side of the galaxy, a ship full of people who hated him.

They didn't all hate him now, he had won some of them over through
sheer force of personality.  And by being damn good at what he did.

Damn good at what he did! - there I go again!

Down, girl!

And then a tiny, treacherous thought.  I wonder how I wound up over
there two nights ago, sleepwalking?  I wonder if I will ever do that
again?  Because if I were sleepwalking, then it wouldn't really be my
fault....

---

....Oh, no, my clever girl.  Uncle Q is not helping you out any more!

The powerful being was enjoying this particular experiment more than
any he could recall.  You're going to have to start taking
responsibility for your actions, dearie, he thought.  You want the
young man?  Then you'll have to go get him.

Oh, the suspense!  Makes for riveting drama....

---

....Tom was in bed, but not even trying to sleep.  He was still
thinking on the most fascinating subject in the world, his lady in the
dark, his dark lady.

He was now virtually convinced that it had been Captain Janeway.
Today when she passed by the Conn, he got the faintest whiff of scent,
a scent he remembered when his nose had been buried in the dark lady's
hair.  And when she had stopped to look at his readouts on a dark
matter nebula, she had unthinkingly rested her hand on his shoulder,
as she had so many times before, and somehow with the connection, he
just knew.  She had removed her hand almost immediately, as if she'd
been shocked.

Okay.  Let's say it was Captain Janeway.  The next question is - why?

Maybe - oh, what an awful thought - maybe she'd come to the wrong
room!  Maybe she thought she was visiting some lover who was expecting
her.

But after a moment of depression, he realized how unlikely that was.
Because his quarters were really out of the way.  He was still in the
guest quarters he'd been assigned to as an observer, and all the other
officers were two corridors over and one deck down.  And on one side
of his quarters were nothing but access panels, and the other side was
a service elevator.

He'd liked the location at first, figuring it would come in handy to
have a secluded little love nest.  But of course it hadn't worked out
that way, and he had to admit he got kind of lonely sometimes way over
here, away from the busy corridor where people popped in and out of
one another's rooms, sharing clothes and hairbrushes and gossip.  He
spent a lot of time now hanging out in Harry's quarters, because it
was so quiet here, so isolated.

But there was no way that the ship's captain could have got so turned
around that she could have mistaken these quarters for someone else's.
No, if she had come to his quarters, it was because she intended to.

But - why?  Why him?

He had always sort of expected the Captain and Chakotay to make a
match of it someday.  It would be so appropriate, the two top ranked
officers on the ship.  And even if she didn't want to make it
official, Chakotay's quarters were right next to hers if she just
wanted a little action.

Maybe she didn't want a commitment, that would explain the darkness
thing.  Maybe she was just so horny, she just needed a little physical
contact.  And she picked him?

She must have bought his act.  The Captain knew the ship inside and
out, and knew the professional capabilities of every member of the
crew, but she tried to stay out of their personal lives, tried to stay
a little aloof.  So maybe she really believed the superstud act, and
thought he would be just the person to scratch where it itched.

He thought with a touch of satisfaction, well, at least I fooled
somebody!  But then he had another thought, and it made him sad, and
so sorry for her.  If she believed that act, how daring of her to have
come here, and risk running into one of his dozens of mythical lovers.
How daring, or desperate.  The poor lady.  If she'd only come back,
he'd make her feel better, he'd do everything he could.

If she'd only come back....

---

The Captain was quiet today.  That odd manic phase seemed to be over,
but she was so quiet, and thoughtful.  Her First Officer worried about
her.

As she handed him the PADD she had signed off on, Chakotay asked,
"Captain?  Is something bothering you?"

She looked up sharply, and her voice was sharp too.  "Why do you ask?"

"You've just seemed a bit - moody."

"It's nothing," she said flatly.  She wondered what he'd say if she
told him she was just disappointed that she hadn't been sleepwalking
last night.

He nodded.  If she didn't want to talk about it with him, all right.
He turned toward the door, but then turned back.  "Captain, is there
someone on the ship you could talk to?  Tuvok, or the Doctor, maybe
Kes?"  He surprised himself, adding Kes to the list, but the
two-year-old Ocampa seemed surprisingly on the ball with emotional
stuff, and maybe it was a woman thing.

She smiled at him.  She could see that he was worried, he was only
trying to help.  "I'll think about it," she told him, thinking to
herself, fat chance!  A Vulcan, who would only understand these urges
once every seven years, or a computer generated holographic
projection.  And as for Kes, with her developing mental abilities,
Kathryn planned to avoid her until she got this under control.

Alone in the ready room, she thought to herself, anyway, I don't want
to go to someone I can talk to.  I want to go to the one person I
can't talk to....

---

....Was it only going to be the once?  Tom hoped not.  But how could
he encourage her to return without letting her know that he knew who
she was?

This could be tricky.  But he had an idea.

As he and Harry entered the mess hall, he saw that Captain Janeway was
sitting at a table facing the window.  So he led Harry over to the
next table, and sat with his back to her.

After a few moments of idle conversation, Tom asked, "Harry, do you
think anyone over on your corridor would be willing to swap quarters
with me?"

Harry was surprised.  "I thought you liked it over there.  You said
you liked the peace and quiet, said you could - entertain - better."

Tom sighed.  "Well, I've changed my mind.  It's a little too quiet
over there, my friend.  It gets - kind of lonely."

"Lonely?  You?  What about entertaining guests?"

"What guests, Harry?  It's pretty grim."

"Uh - Jenny Delaney?"

"Wants to get married and have ten kids in nine years.  That's a
direct quote."

"Okay.  Sue Nicoletti?"

"Last seen holding hands with Crewman Dalby."

"Oh.  Not good."  Harry was starting to worry.  He wasn't used to this
sort of honesty from Tom, who always tried to project an optimistic
image.

"So, I was thinking, maybe there's someone who's looking for a little
seclusion, and we could trade places."

"Well, I'll ask around, but everyone seems to be pretty settled."

Tom thought with satisfaction, there!  I've let her know it's safe to
come back, if she wants to.  He'd all but left her a trail of
breadcrumbs....

---

....Lonely?  Oh, she knew what that felt like.  Kathryn felt her eyes
welling up and left the mess hall hurriedly.

Tuvok was going to ask the Captain if she wanted to discuss anything
with him, but he silently watched her from the tactical station, and
she seemed to be grappling with a problem, and by mid- afternoon she
appeared to resolve it.  He'd known her long enough to recognize that
decisive look.

Kathryn was thinking, they can court martial me when we get back.  But
I'm going to touch him again....

---

....He'd left the door invitingly unlocked, and couldn't think of
anything else to do.  So he went to bed, remembering when he was a
kid, and his mother told him to go to sleep and Christmas would come
sooner....

---

....She'd done a computer sweep, and the corridors were deserted.  But
her heart was in her mouth as she crept to the service elevator.  Of
course her quarters would be located between Chakotay's and Tuvok's!
She told herself that they were probably sleeping the sleep of the
righteous.  Catch either of them creeping around the corridors at
night!  No, just the crazy, horny Captain.

His door was unlocked, and she silently locked it behind her after she
entered.  She tiptoed carefully across the room, remembering that
first time, when she suddenly found herself standing by the bed.  If
only it were so easy.

Her hands were trembling now, because this time she knew this wasn't a
dream, and she was doing something she'd always believed was wrong.
But was it really?  Both of them lonely and so far away from home?

She slid naked into the bed, and the young man awoke.  His reaction
surprised her.  He exclaimed with a glad cry, "You came back!", and
the stark joy in his voice almost broke her heart. Then he took her
hand, and placed it to his lips, as if to say, I didn't mean that, I
won't say anything more.

It both pleased and frightened her to know how much he wanted her, how
willing he was to accept rules he didn't understand.  She kissed him,
and felt his arms come around her, and she buried her face in his neck
and felt right at home....

---

....She came back, she came back!  Tom sat up in the bed with his arms
around the cap - his lady.  He told himself sternly, he mustn't even
think of her as the captain when she was here, he might give something
away during the day.  She was the dark lady here, and she wanted him,
and that was good enough.

He felt her hair drifting over his shoulder and his arm, and he leaned
her back so that only his arms kept her from falling. Then he felt for
her lips in the darkness, and kissed her.  For a long, long time their
lips moved against one another, never letting go, and he knew he was
making her dizzy, as he slowly lowered her to the bed.

He was going to give her as much as he could, as much as she could
stand, he was going to make her happy.

And without further ado, he entered her completely....

---

....What, already?  What about all those charming preliminaries?  But
then Kathryn realized that she had no cause for complaint.  He wasn't
going to fuck her right now, he was just going to - fill her.  Now he
was kissing her, behind her ear, along her jaw, down her throat.  She
stroked his back and shoulders as his hands roamed her body,
marvelling at how good at this he was.

Then he took hold of her hips, gathered his legs under himself, and
slowly sat up, never leaving her.  And he pulled her up after him and
they sat on the bed, with her legs wrapped around him.  How good this
felt, holding him deep inside her as their lips met and their hands
moved, and their kisses were like fire, leaving them both shaken and
gasping....

....Is it hot in here, or is it just me?

---

Q was enjoying this.  He always liked to stir the anthill to see what
came out.  Fire ants, this time, he thought with amusement.  Maybe I
should have brushed up on my chemistry before I started this little
project.  Let's see, you take one very strong case of hero worship,
add a little sex, and what do you get? Conflagration, apparently....

---

....Oh, she wanted him, he could feel how much she wanted him, and he
was inside her.  Tom kneaded her breasts and pinched her nipples and
she licked his ear and then breathed softly into it, causing him to
shiver all over, and transmit that shiver to her. She chuckled then,
and he thought, watch it, lady, that's a very distinctive chuckle, as
he grabbed her chin and attacked her lips once more.

Her skin was getting slippery now, she was sweating with her desire,
and he could feel her juices running down his thigh.  Now she placed
her hands firmly on his shoulders, and pushed him back until he was
lying on the bed, and she was straddling him.

He'd been inside her for so long, and it was so right, he belonged
there, so he moaned in protest as she pulled herself off of him.  She
leaned over and interrupted his moan with a kiss, placing her hands on
either side of his head, and began to slide her wetness up and down
his shaft.  He was twisting beneath her, wanting to say, let me back
in!....

---

....Oh, she was the most powerful woman in the galaxy, and she
shouldn't torment him any longer!  His hands were on her ass and hips,
not trying to force her back onto him, but requesting it unmistakably.
So after a few more strokes along that gloriously hard organ, she
stopped, opened her wet lips with her fingers, and positioned them
over the tip of his shaft.  And for a few eternal seconds, she just
hovered there, knowing how badly he wanted to thrust up into her and
how hard it was for him to wait.

Then she descended, using all her weight to thrust him inside her with
great force, and threw back her head, shouting, "OHHH!"....

....And that was a distinctive voice, too, my lady in the dark!  Tom
reached up to her face and stroked her gently, as she recovered from
her orgasm.  She took his hands in her own, and gently kissed the
palms.  Then she placed his hands on her breasts, and began to stroke
his chest as her hips started moving.

He squeezed her breasts, rough squeezing and pinching, as he felt her
muscles squeezing his erection.  She was panting now, and so was he,
and her head was lowered, and he felt her hair brushing against his
chest as her hands caressed him, and her hips moved faster and faster.
He reached up and put his arms around her, pulling her down to him,
trying to touch as much of her body as he could while stroking inside
her, thrusting up into her as fast as he could until he felt the
spasms taking him out of control. He cried out then, and was glad to
hear her cry out as well, glad he could bring her along.  His dark
lady collapsed on top of him, and Tom held her close, feeling her
heart pounding atop his own....

---

....Kathryn lay panting on top of her lover, thinking, damn
regulations, this was a great idea!

She was surprised when he gently rolled her over, and slid out of the
bed.  Please, she thought, don't ruin it!  No lights, no words.  She
felt him take her hand, and silently urge her to follow him.  What in
the world?

Now they were moving through his darkened quarters, him feeling his
way cautiously, with Kathryn following behind clinging to his hand.
He bumped his shin on the table, and managed to convert a curse into a
yelp, as she leaned against his back, giggling soundlessly.

She felt the floor change from soft carpeting to hard tile, and then
followed him until they were in the shower stall.  He operated the
controls, and she realized that it was set for a real water shower.
You extravagant fool, Kathryn thought, as he positioned her under the
stream, and then he pressed up against her and was kissing her.

She flung her arms around him and pulled his tongue into her mouth as
he strained against the entire length of her and, oh mercy, he was
getting hard again!....

---

....Would he ever get enough of her?  No, never!  Perfect, she was
perfect, and the water streamed along their bodies as his hands moved
over her, and she liked this too, straining against him.

Forget the soap and sponge, he couldn't let go of her long enough to
reach for them, let the water cleanse them as he lifted her slightly
and entered her again.

Tom had always complained about the cramped size of Voyager's showers,
but now he was grateful for it, it was the only thing holding him
upright, his knees felt so weak.  She wrapped her legs around his hips
as he held her against the wall, thrusting and retreating again and
again, pounding into her until she started screaming....

---

....oh god, oh dear god, this was too much, it was almost more than
she could stand.  She was coming with every thrust, unable to
recovered from one orgasm before the next one started, and she
couldn't catch her breath, and her screams died as she fought for air.
Killing her, this was killing her, but she didn't want it to stop,
clutching him as she felt him reaching his limit.  And he'd saved the
best for last, and the last thrust filled Kathryn with his juices as
she shrieked and heard him shouting as her senses dimmed and she
passed out....

---

....Tom just managed to turn off the water before he sank to his
knees, her legs still wrapped around him.  He was too dizzy to move,
so he merely knelt there holding her, and never knew how long it took
him to recover.

Finally, he stood upright, and carried his lady from the shower,
finding a towel in the darkness and groping his way to the sofa....

---

....The next thing Kathryn knew, she was lying on a sofa, and it was
dark, and she was wet, and she felt soft warm towelling being rubbed
along her body.

She almost spoke then, almost asked where was she, what was going on,
but remembered in time, and reached for the hands with the towel,
pulling them to her lips and kissing them.

Artist's hands, poet's hands, lover's hands.  Her lover moved up
beside her and kissed her lips, and she could tell that he was
smiling.  And Kathryn thought, he has a right to smile....

....They walked together back to the bed, and he felt her reach down
and pick up her robe, and knew that she was leaving.  It was all Tom
could do not to beg her to stay, to stay with him forever.  He knew
she wouldn't, she would say she couldn't, and he would have to allow
her to leave.

She pushed him to the bed, and tucked him in, and he knew she was
saying, don't follow me to the door, don't try to see who I am. And he
wouldn't do that to her, he wanted to reassure her, so he whispered,
"I'll never ask."

She paused, puzzled, and then ran her finger along his cheek, drew a
question mark.  Still whispering, he explained, "Anything. I'll never
ask anything.  Except, will you come back?"

So she took his hands and held them to her face, so he could feel her
nod.  Would she come back?  Oh, yes!....

---

....The crew was glad to note that whatever had been driving the
Captain to drive them to distraction seemed to be over.  This morning
she seemed to be back to her old self.  Or maybe a little better,
calmer, less driven.

Chakotay theorized that she was finally coming to terms with the fact
that this could be a very lengthy voyage, that this ship would be
their home for a long time.  He was pleased to see her relax, and
wondered if she been talking with Tuvok, or maybe even her spirit
guide.

Tuvok, her oldest friend on the ship, knew from past experience that
the Captain had had a decision to make, a difficult one, and now she
had made it and was at peace again.

The younger officers speculated in the mess hall, Harry theorizing
that some important anniversary in the Captain's life had come up, and
it reminded her of home, and how far away they were.  B'Elanna
suggested menopause, and when she felt two disbelieving pairs of eyes
staring at her, said, "Yeah, you're right, I guess that would be a
little early.  Oh well, I'm just glad she's stopped with the backseat
warp coil maintenance!"  And Tom just said the whole subject was
boring, and what did they think of the Nicoletti/Dalby thing?....

---

....Kathryn couldn't believe how efficient she was being today.  She
had worked her way industriously through the backlog of what was once
called paperwork, and was once again on top of administrative matters.

With the satisfaction of having a boring task out of the way, she
turned to her computer to scan the crew bulletin board, to see what
was new.  She liked to read the Personals, and Trading Post. You
learned a lot about people.

Well, so it was Lieutenant Parsons' birthday, she noted, reading the
announcement,


HEY, JULIE!! How Does it Feel To Be OVER THE HILL? Happy Fortieth From
All the Gang In Stellar Cartography


Some of the personals were gibberish to outsiders, like, "SNOOKUMS: So
sorry, please forgive me.  Your Loving SQUEEGEE" Squeegee?

Anything good in the Trading Post?  Holonovels, civilian clothes,
rations - wait a minute, scroll back.

"Replicator rations.  Will trade for water rations.  Contact T.
Paris."

Closing out of the bulletin board, Kathryn called up the crew rations
report, the dynamically updated spreadsheet that Ensign Kim had
created when they first realized how far away they were from Star
Fleet Command and any Star Base.

She was shocked to discover that Tom was currently almost a month in
the hole on water rations.  Shocked, but also amused and very touched.
She wondered if she could secretly transfer some of her rations to his
account, but doubted she could do it without leaving a trail.  Oh
well, it was such a romantic gesture!  The poor man would have to eat
Neelix's food for a while, squaring his account would take all his
replicator rations for quite some time....

---


Harry just couldn't understand it.  "How could you possibly get so far
in the hole?"

"It was a water shower, Harry!  Real water!  It felt so good, I just
lost track of time."  Tom thought to himself, felt so good, and that's
no lie!

They had their trays now, and Tom followed Harry over to a table.
Turned out to be right beside the table where the Captain and First
Officer were sitting.  Tom said to himself, well, so what?  It's only
the Captain.  Nothing to do with me.  Trying to be nonchalant, praying
fiercely that he wouldn't get an erection -

He took a seat, and listened to what Harry was saying.  "I figured as
much, Tom.  Everyone is pretty settled where they are. No one is
interested in swapping quarters."

Tom was relieved.  He wouldn't have to come up with some excuse not to
move after all.  "Oh, well, it was just a thought."

"You know, Tom," Harry said seriously, "I've been thinking -"

"Oh, red alert, Harry's been thinking!"

"Seriously!  And I think your problem with women is - you're just
trying too hard."

Tom groaned.  "Things have come to a pretty pass if Harry Kim is
giving me advice on romance!"

"Would you shut up and listen to me?" Harry said impatiently. "I know
I'm no Romeo.  But I've noticed something kind of weird. Several women
have made runs on me - " He saw Tom's look of interest and said
hastily, "and, no, I'm not going to tell you who they are.  But the
point is, they came on to me AFTER I said I was being faithful to
Libby.  You see what I'm saying?"

"I think you're telling me I should play hard to get. Honestly, Harry,
of all the hokey ideas!"

Harry smiled.  "Okay, maybe it's hokey.  Wouldn't hurt to try it."

Tom thought for a minute.  Perfect.  He could stop making runs on
women, and all his friends would figure he was just playing hard to
get.  Good old Harry.  He slapped the table.  "You're right, Harry.
From now on, any woman who wants to spend time with Tom Paris is going
to have to come to him!"....

....At the next table, Kathryn saw that Chakotay was biting his lip,
hard.  She leaned over and whispered to him, "Chakotay, don't you dare
laugh!"

He nodded, and said in a strangled voice, "Finished?"

"Sure."

The two senior officers left the Mess Hall, and Chakotay made it into
the corridor before he started whooping with laughter. Finally he
gasped through his tears, "Sorry, Captain, but the very idea of Tom
Paris playing hard to get - "  He lost it again.

Kathryn laughed with him, but at a private joke of her own. She was so
tempted to say, hey, it works - I know this woman Tom's never made a
pass at, and she sneaks into his quarters at night and fucks his
brains out....

---

....Every few nights now, Tom's dark lady would visit him.  He never
knew when it would be, until she was sliding into the bed. He was
always so glad to see her.  Or rather, feel her.

The ship was functioning so smoothly now, and everybody seemed to be
getting along.  Tom's father always said that the ship takes its tone
from its skipper, so perhaps the Captain's new-found serenity had
something to do with it.  It made Tom feel very important, knowing
secretly that he was the real ship's morale officer!

Plus, he just loved to touch her.

He tried not to think about how long this would go on, but in the back
of his mind was a secret dread, that the days would slip by without
her coming, and he would slowly begin to realize that she was never
coming back -

So far, no chance of that.  There had once been a stretch of five
days, and he had to admit it worried him, even though they were in the
middle of a crisis in Engineering, and everyone was on edge, not sure
if they would ever get the warp drive repaired.

But the day after the successful repair of the engines, his lady
returned to him, and he could tell she had missed him as much as he
missed her.  She had practically attacked him, pushing him back and
taking him in an absolute frenzy, and then she had dozed in his arms
before waking up and making prolonged and gentle love. That time, she
had stayed most of the night, and he worried that she wouldn't leave
until people were beginning to stir.  So he actually handed her the
robe, letting her know that time was passing.  He wanted to protect
her. He didn't want anything to hurt her.  He would do anything for
her.  He l - -

Tom wouldn't even let himself think the L word, even in the privacy of
his own head.  That's not what she wants from me, he told himself
sternly.  He knew all about avoiding commitment, he'd been doing it
all his life.  He knew the wrong word would send her away in an
instant, and he knew what that word was.

No, sex was what he had to offer.  Good old, uncomplicated sweaty
hard-driving sex, and plenty of it.

But sometimes, he couldn't help wishing that he could give her
more....

---

....Kathryn wasn't sure when it started to dawn on her that Tom knew
who his visitor was.  Not that she could prove anything, because he
maintained the code of silence amazingly well. Sometimes she thought,
surely not, no man could maintain that air of bland respectfulness on
the bridge the morning after he had licked her into a screaming
frenzy.  Not if he knew.

But then, sometimes, he seemed to say things in her hearing that his
mystery guest would need to know.  Like the time he complained loudly
to Harry in the mess hall about the round the clock maintenance going
on in those panels outside his quarters, and what a racket it made.
And several days later, asking B'Elanna if her crews were finally done
ruining his beauty sleep, bringing up the subject as they walked down
a corridor behind the Captain. And Kathryn wondered - is he sounding
the All Clear?

He liked to provide little treats for her.  Some were things she never
would have thought of herself, like that one that involved an unusual
quantity of maribou feathers - just thinking about that one made her
blush.

But one night, he treated her with ice cream.  Coffee flavored ice
cream.  As she leaned back against his chest enjoying his gift, she
thought to herself, hmm - he treats his mystery guest with the
Captain's favorite dessert.

She would have pondered the subject longer, but then she had a better
idea.  She still had half the ice cream left, so she twisted suddenly
in his arms and slapped the remaining scoop of ice cream onto his
chest.

He yelped in astonishment as she pushed him onto his back, spreading
the lovely cold stuff all over his chest and belly. After a brief
moment of resistance, he realized what she was doing, and relaxed with
a chuckle, letting her lick him all over.  But before she began
cleaning him up, she mashed her body up against his, wallowing happily
in the ice cream, so he would have some cleanup chores as well....

---

....And this went on for several months, with no one the wiser?  Not
exactly.

Late one evening, Lieutenant Tuvok had completed a genetic analysis
which he believed could significantly improve yields of fresh produce
in the Airponics bay.  Knowing the Captain's interest in this
endeavor, and knowing that she generally was reading in bed at this
hour of the night, he contacted her quarters.

There was no answer.  Apparently, the Captain was not in her quarters,
since she was able to pull herself from the deepest sleep to answer
the communicator.

"Computer, locate Captain Janeway."

"Captain Janeway is on level five, subsection D, compartment 12."

Hmm.  That compartment designation was unfamiliar to Tuvok. "Computer,
identify assignment of that compartment."

"Compartment is designated guest quarters.  Current assignment,
Lieutenant Thomas Paris."

Curious.  Tuvok decided that the genetic analysis information could
wait until morning after all.

The following morning, Tuvok presented himself in the ready room,
briefing the Captain on his research.  When he was completed, he
added, "I attempted to contact you in your quarters last night,
Captain."

Interesting.  The Captain changed colors quite alarmingly. Striving
for a level tone, she asked, "Did you track me down, Tuvok?"

"Yes, Captain, I did.  I regret invading your privacy in this manner.
I had been unaware of your intention to mate."

Kathryn's hands were clenched.  This was her counsellor.  He would
tell her if she'd lost her mind.  "Your opinion, Mister Tuvok?"

He surprised her by nodding in grave approval.  "A strong young man,
and quite resourceful.  Excellent lineage.  Will you be making an
announcement any time soon?"

She replied evasively, "There are still some loose ends, Tuvok."

And said to herself, like telling the young man who I am....

---

....As Tuvok and Chakotay continued their discussion on the supply
inventory, Kathryn sneaked a glance over to the table where the
younger officers were having their lunch, thinking enviously, they're
having a lot more fun!

B'Elanna exclaimed, "Tom Paris, you - ", and Harry was laughing, and
Tom wore that adorable look of phony innocence that never fooled
anyone.

Kathryn looked back at her lunch companions, and said, "Gentlemen,
this is our mealtime, and I have a radical suggestion." Having gotten
both of their attention, she continued, "Can't we knock off the shop
talk and just chat?  Gab?"

Chakotay smiled slightly, but Tuvok looked puzzled.  She explained,
"Recreational conversation."

"Ah!"  Tuvok turned to Chakotay, and said politely, "You first,
Commander."....

....Tom ducked as B'Elanna pelted him with pieces of her biscuit.  He
picked up a radish, but Harry said in an urgent whisper, "GUYS - "

They both put down their ammunition and turned to him politely.  He
asked, "Is it really a good idea to start a food fight with the
Captain and First Officer right over there, having lunch with the
Chief of Security?"

"Probably not," B'Elanna admitted.  "Tuvok is the most humorless old
stick I've ever met.  He'd probably give us a sample of the brig, and
while I'm willing to serve on a Star Fleet vessel, I don't really want
to see the inside of a Star Fleet brig."

"Oh, you really don't," Tom assured her earnestly.  "I've seen several
of them, and don't recommend it."

B'Elanna reached over and ruffled his hair.  The truce was holding.

Tom sneaked a glance over at the senior officer table. Sometimes
lately he wished that he were intellectual like Tuvok. Or spiritual
like Chakotay.  Or scientific like Harry.  Maybe then - she'd want to
talk to him....

....Kathryn couldn't help noticing B'Elanna ruffling Tom's hair.  And
couldn't help feeling a stab of jealousy.

But what right did she have, anyway?  If B'Elanna wanted a man, she
would let people know about it, she would hold his hand in public, she
would make sure everyone knew - this man is mine!

People who sneak around in the dark don't have the right to feel
jealous, Kathryn thought.  What if she backed off?  Stopped going to
his room?  Would he and B'Elanna -

She was amazed at how desolate she felt at the thought....

---

....Kathryn lay with her head on her lover's chest, being held in the
darkness, stroking his shoulder and chest, feeling their sweat drying,
feeling wonderful.  He always made her feel wonderful.  He was
wonderful.

She felt a small shiver run through him, and reached up to stroke his
face, felt wetness there.  Her fingers traced up to the corner of his
eye, and felt a trickle now from the source of the moisture.  What was
wrong?

Kathryn drew a question mark on Tom's cheek.  He shook his head and
tightened his arms around her.  She drew the mark again, insistent.
Finally whispered, speaking to him for the first time in the darkness.
"What is it?"

"Nothing."

She gave his shoulder a shake, really worried now.  "Tell me. What is
it?"

He sighed.  "It's just something dumb," he whispered back.  "I just
can't help wishing I was more interesting."  She gave him a slight
shake again, and he added, "So you'd want to talk to me."

Is that what he thought?  How could he think she didn't want to talk
to him?  Well, Kath, maybe because you haven't talked to him, knowing
full well that he knows who you are, despite your little pretenses of
plausible deniability, you know he knows.  But you haven't talked to
him.  What are you afraid of?

Suddenly he rolled over, with her in his arms, and now he was on top
of her, whispering in her ear, "It's not talk you want from me, is
it?"

And his hands were on her breasts, and she couldn't even challenge his
assertion, not with his mouth pressed over hers, and he was getting
hard again, and she was getting wet....

---

....Don't blow it, Tom, you fool.  Try to get too much and you'll lose
everything.  Take what she'll give you and be grateful, you know what
she wants.

Don't lose this, please, don't take this away from me.

Now she was responding to him, kissing him back with eagerness, her
hands running over his body.  This was what she wanted, what he could
give her, the only thing he could give her. And he knew he was good at
it, he was always good with her.

As he slid into her, smooth and fast, she bucked up against him,
already well on her way to her first orgasm.  He marvelled again at
how well they fit together, remembering that first night when he
thought she had been made for him.  He knew better now.

He had been made for her....

---

....He said, he thought - what he thinks of this - Kathryn tried to
hold on to the thoughts she had, but he was whirling her away now, and
thinking was difficult, and finally impossible. There was only the
feeling.  The feeling of his lips, on her mouth, on her throat, the
feeling of his hands pulling her closer, his chest hair tickling her
nipples, the strong muscles of his legs between her thighs, and oh,
the feeling inside her as he stroked himself into her.  She took him
into her, wanted him here, with her, forever.

But there were tears running down her face, and she knew they weren't
her own....

....He heard her cry out and felt the tight spasms of her orgasm just
before his own, and he lay on her body, holding her tightly in his
arms, he'd shown her again what he could do for her, and now if he
could only stop crying.

He tried to turn his head to the pillow, hoping she wouldn't notice,
but her hand cradled his head, and pressed it into her neck, as her
other hand gently caressed his back.

And then she spoke.  Not a furtive whisper, but a low, saddened tone.
"Oh, Tom, how I've been using you."

Oh, no!  What had he done?  He sat up and spoke hurriedly before she
could say anything irrevocable.  "I'm sorry!  I didn't mean it!
Everything will be all right.  I'm sorry, please don't leave.  I'll
never say another word."

Now stop babbling, show her you mean it.  He picked up her hands,
pressed them both to his lips to seal his vow of silence, and then
began to kiss them, trying to show her how sorry he was, that they
could go back to the old rules, and everything would be all right.

But it was too late.  He'd ruined everything.  He heard her sigh, and
then she sat up beside him, and said, "Computer, quarter lights."

Now the room was lit with a dim glow, and he was looking into the eyes
of his lover, and he was right, she was beautiful, naked and flushed,
her hair wildly tousled, he had never seen Captain Janeway look so
beautiful....

---

....Oh, god, he looks so young, Kathryn thought, he doesn't even look
old enough to be doing this!  With his hair all awry and tearstains on
his cheeks, he looked even younger than his actual age.  And he looked
so frightened.

He was stroking her face now, and her throat, and he said, "I'm so
sorry.  Please don't go."

She took his hand and kissed it.  "I won't go," she told him softly.
"I need you.  Even if it is wrong."

He looked surprised.  "Wrong?  How could this be wrong?"

"Now, what do you think Star Fleet Command would say about this?  A
ship's captain having a relationship with someone in her direct chain
of command?"

"Oh."  He thought about it for a moment.  "But, Captain - everyone you
know is in your direct chain of command."

"I know."

"So that means you think you shouldn't have - any relationships at
all?"  He sounded aghast.

"Until we get home," she clarified.

"Even - if it takes seventy years?"  He was staring at her intently,
his eyes very blue, and then he pulled her into his arms. "Was that
what you thought Star Fleet would require you to do?"

"That's what I was trying to do," Kathryn admitted.  "Until one night
when I wound up here.  I'm still not sure how that happened."

He was stroking her back and kissing her throat, and making her feel
wonderful again.  "You wound up here because you needed me," he
whispered....

---

Now, when the Captain crept down to the guest quarters, they only
began in darkness.  It was something of a cherished tradition between
them, the darkness, and the silence.  But eventually, one or the other
of them would call up the dim lighting, and they would nestle in one
another's arms, talking and laughing.

By unspoken agreement, there was little shop talk.  Tom wouldn't
expect the Captain to talk to him about other officers who might be
having difficulties, that wasn't something he was supposed to know.
And if he had a difference of opinion with Chakotay or Tuvok, he
certainly wasn't going to be a snitch and go complaining to the
Captain about it.

No, this was their oasis, just Tom and his Dark Lady, Kathryn and her
Dream Lover.

The first morning after the lights came up, they both felt a bit
awkward, wondering how they would handle seeing one another on the
bridge.  But that watch passed without incident, and they were content
that no one was the wiser. They also didn't talk about how long they
expected things to remain like this.

Tonight, Tom was excited, because he had an idea. "Remember when you
told me that we weren't supposed to be doing this, because I was an
officer in your chain of command?"

Kathryn leaned back against the pillows beside him, nodding, wondering
why he was grinning.

"Well, I've got it figured out - not only is it perfectly legal for
you to get involved with me, but I'm the ONLY guy you can get involved
with!"

Kathryn chuckled.  "I'll be interested in hearing why you think that."

Tom hugged her, and said, "No really, I mean it.  Look, the Star Fleet
guys, they're off limits.  And the Maquis - you were supposed to be
arresting them, so that's sure against the rules. But me!  I'm only an
officer in the Delta Quadrant!  I'm not Star Fleet back there, and you
weren't going to arrest me, either.  Back in the Alpha Quadrant, I'm
just a convict on parole.  So I'm fair game."

He flung himself into her lap, proclaiming dramatically, "Use me!"

Kathryn threw back her head and laughed, and then growled and said,
"All right, then, mister...."

Some time later, they surfaced for air, and Kathryn took up Tom's
argument again.

"I think your thesis falls apart, Tom, since I gave you a field
commission."

"Aha!" he answered, not a bit troubled.  "But if Star Fleet Command
wants to go after you, they'd have to validate my field commission.
And if they did that, KNOWING they were going to prosecute you, well,
I forget the term for it - something about command misconduct.  They'd
be validating my commission, only in order to make what we've been
doing a crime, which should get the whole case thrown out of court."

"You jailhouse lawyer, you."

"When we get back, we'll have to look up my lawyer, Winston Perkes -
he'd love this case.  Poor guy, I didn't give him much to work with,
pleading guilty.  He'd like a really juicy case."

"Oh," Kathryn purred, "I like a juicy case too," as she pushed him
onto his back and attacked him again.

Still later, Kathryn said drowsily, "But still, you're not the ONLY
man I could legally get involved with.  There's always Neelix."

"Go ahead," Tom mumbled.  "I dare you."

---

Kathryn sat in the command chair, waiting for the ship to retrieve
shuttles.  B'Elanna and Nicoletti were returning now, with the raw
materials they would need for warp core maintenance.  Still almost an
hour away was the rendezvous with Tom, who'd been sent to a trading
center to acquire some replacement equipment.

As they waited, Kathryn pondered her situation.  Sometimes, she saw
Tuvok looking at her thoughtfully, and she knew he was wondering what
was taking her so long, why she didn't announce to the crew that she
had selected a man.  Vulcans made it seem so simple.

And several days ago, returning to her quarters in the early morning
hours, she'd run into Chakotay just leaving his.  He'd spared her a
curious look, but asked no questions.  (And come to think of it, where
had HE been going?)

Kathryn was procrastinating because she simply didn't know how to
handle this.  It wasn't fear of the wrath of Star Fleet that held her
back.  She was starting to accept the fact that Star Fleet Command
might never get the opportunity to approve or disapprove of her
actions on this mission.  And even if they did, that was a remote
concern.  Uppermost in her mind was the good of the crew.

How would her behavior affect the crew was the question on her mind,
because they were their own society now, isolated from their own
people and past, and she was in charge of them.

She knew that if she couldn't make herself live a monastic existence
for the rest of her life, the smartest thing to do would be to choose
Chakotay.  The second in command, and leader of the Maquis, such a
match would be almost a dynastic alliance, binding together the two
groups that fate and the Caretaker had thrown together.

But she hadn't done that.

No, she'd chosen the outcast, the man that both sides of her crew had
reason to dislike, and how that would effect morale and power
relationships was simply unpredictable.

She'd also jumped several ranks in making her choice, which would
surely make the mid-grade officers uncomfortable when giving orders to
the junior officer who was also the "captain's man".

And, she acknowledged with a bit of human vanity, she didn't like the
thought of being called a "cradle-robber" behind her back.

Well, one of these days, some day soon, she was going to have to get
this thing out in the open.  Maybe - yes, maybe a talk with Chakotay.
Especially if he was also creeping around at night, perhaps he too
would be glad to discuss the matter.

---

Tom was whistling as he adjusted his sensors, heading back to Voyager.
He'd gotten everything on the list, all within specs, so B'Elanna
would have no cause to growl at him.

Heading through the bazaar on the way back to the shuttle, he'd also
found a body oil with a really incredible scent, and he thought he
knew someone who would like it.

Things had been going smoothly lately, nice after all those running
battles they'd had a few months back, Kazon and Vidiians, he'd been in
this shuttle during one of those battles, and had thought at the time
that his number was up.  But the shuttle had only been damaged, not
destroyed, and Tom patted the console, thanking the shuttle for
bringing him through that one alive, since some great things had
happened since then.

But that very battle had weakened a conduit joint, not enough to be
noticed by the repair crews, and the months of use thereafter had
weakened the joint further, and the battle was not over yet.

Tom started in surprise as the internal alarms started buzzing, while
from the back of the shuttle came a hiss and a cloud of green gas.

--

Ensign Kim looked up from his displays, and said, "Captain, we're
being hailed.  It's Tom, almost out of range, but he's trying to
contact us."

From the Ops Station, Kathryn could hear a faint transmission " ...
-is to Voya- ..."

The Captain stood up.  "On screen," she said faintly.

Reception was bad, but the bridge crew got a dim glimpse of the
interior of the shuttle, peculiarly green, and Lieutenant Paris in an
environmental suit.

"Janeway here.  Tom, what happened?!"

"Had a coolant leak here, Captain.  I got into the enviro suit and got
the leak patched, but I got a real snootful of the stuff before I
could get suited up - "

Janeway turned to Ops and said quickly, "Call Sickbay, have the Doctor
monitor," and turned back to the screen.

"I'm about half an hour from the rendezvous, Captain, but I'm not sure
I'll be conscious that long," Tom said faintly.

"All right, Tom," Janeway said urgently.  "Set course for the
rendezvous at maximum warp, and don't come out of warp even if you
feel yourself passing out.  Just lock in course and speed.  We'll meet
you and beam you out and beam in a pilot to bring the shuttle out of
warp."

Tom nodded.  In fact, he seemed about to be nodding off, but he shook
his head, and looked at his panel.  "Course locked in, and at maximum
warp," he said.

Then he looked back at the viewscreen, and said, faint but urgent,
"Captain!"

"Yes?"

"Tell the dark lady - I love her..."

The connection was broken.

The Captain - Kathryn - stared unseeing at the viewscreen, now showing
the stars of their course.  The dark lady.  Poisoned and barely
conscious, and Tom was still protecting her.  It occurred to her that
those might be his last words, and she was ashamed of herself.

Chakotay said, "Helm, maximum warp," bringing Kathryn out of her
trance.  She turned to him, and he said softly, "I'll get the
shuttle."

Then he headed for the turbolift, keying his communicator as he went.
"Chakotay to Engineering.  B'Elanna, I need an enviro suit; meet me in
transporter room two on the double."

Janeway sank back down into her seat, turning on her computer monitor
to the medical channel.  The Doctor began without preliminary.  "What
is the coolant?"  When Janeway didn't answer right away, he said,
"Well, which shuttle is it?"

"The Cochrane," Janeway said.

"Ah.  Then the coolant in question is polyphenylhydro - " he saw the
look on her face, and said hastily, "Well, anyway, it's highly toxic.
I will make preparations for treatment."

The Doctor vanished from the viewscreen, but his voice could be heard
over the loudspeaker.  "Attention, all hands.  This is a medical
emergency.  All personnel with type O- blood, who are not absolutely
required at their duty stations, are to report to Sickbay Laboratory
Three for blood donation immediately.  At 1400 hours, all personnel
with type O+, report to Sickbay Lab 3.  At 1430 hours, all personnel
with types A-, B-, and AB- report to Lab 3.  Supervisors, make note of
this schedule and adjust your crew's duty rotations accordingly.  I
repeat, this is a medical emergency."

And the Doctor reappeared on Janeway's computer screen.  "I will be
very busy in a few moments, Captain, but I wondered if you could tell
me how much of the coolant Lieutenant Paris inhaled."

Janeway shrugged helplessly.  "He said 'a real snootful'."

"How precise."

"Doctor, what is the treatment?"

"At a minimum, complete replacement of the patient's blood supply,
several times, as the toxin moves from the lungs to the blood.  You
will note I have staggered the blood donations by type. Mister Paris
is O-, therefore that type will require the least processing prior to
transfusion.  I am pulling the trained medical techs from Stellar
Cartography and Engineering, Kes and I won't be able to handle this
alone."

Janeway nodded.  "Of course, Doctor."

Voyager drew up alongside the shuttle.  Their hail went unanswered.
"Helm, match course and speed," Janeway said.  She had pulled herself
together and was sitting forward, watching the maneuver intently.

Over the communicator, she heard B'Elanna's voice. "Transporter Room
Two standing by."

Thank god for the Maquis!, Janeway thought.  They were about to break
every rule in the transporter safety manual, and her transporter chief
could perhaps handle the operation if required. But she still
remembered a time, in the midst of crisis, when B'Elanna had suggested
a warp speed transport, and the resolute confidence in her voice as
she said, "I've done it before."

Harry, over at Ops, was working on getting the target signature,
biting his lip with concentration.  That was his best friend they were
retrieving.  He'd already told the bridge that he was picking up a
lifesign, so it wasn't too late.

Rollins turned from the helm, announcing, "Matching course and speed,
Captain," and the shuttle appeared to be motionless in space as
Voyager tracked it exactly.

Harry looked up, announcing urgently, "Got him!" and the Captain
snapped, "Energize."

A moment later came B'Elanna's relieved voice, "We've got him,
Captain.  And Commander Chakotay has been successfully transported.
Transporting Lieutenant Paris to Sickbay now."

Janeway stood, feeling dizzy.  "Tuvok, you have the bridge."

As she entered the turbolift, she heard Chakotay's voice, saying " -
dropping out of warp - "

As she approached the main Sickbay door, Kathryn passed a line of
people standing outside Laboratory 3.  She saw Ayala standing in
line, and realized he'd been on the bridge earlier, assisting at
tactical.  She had been so wrapped up in the rescue operation, she
hadn't even noticed him leave.  Must have O- blood, she thought.

Ayala was talking to Sue Nicoletti, and Sue was asking, "But who's
the dark lady?"

Kathryn entered Sickbay, thinking that the most survivable piece of
communications gear ever invented was surely the grapevine.

Tom was in the surgical bay, and the Doctor and Kes were busy. The
biobed was surrounded by equipment, and the process of removing the
contaminated blood and replacing it with fresh blood was already
underway.

Kathryn walked around to the head of the bed.  He was so pale, so
still.  She felt cold, and when she slowly extended a hand to touch
his cheek, he felt cold too.

Kes spared the Captain a quick glance in the midst of her work.  She'd
never seen the Captain look so lost and frightened.

The Doctor made some adjustments to the equipment, and said to Kes,
"Continue the transfer as the new blood is brought in here. Processing
will take place in the lab, so the blood brought over will be ready to
go.  Captain, may I speak with you in my office?"

"Of course," Kathryn said faintly.

As they entered the office, Chakotay came in, still suited for
environmental work, carrying the helmet under his arm.  "Shuttle's
back," he said briskly. "How is he?"

"Too soon to say," the Doctor told both of them.  "From my preliminary
scans, I would predict that we will need to transfuse four or five
times his blood volume, to move the toxins out of his system.  Other
treatment is perhaps called for.  I'll need your advice for that."

"OUR advice?" Kathryn asked.

"Yes," the Doctor explained.  "I need to know how advanced the
poisoning was before he was brought in.  There is one fairly sure
indicator of that.  Can you tell me, was he delirious?"

And Kathryn said, "No," at the same time as Chakotay said, "Yes."

The Doctor looked at them and sighed.  "I'm am not asking out of idle
curiosity," he said patiently.  "If the lieutenant was delirious, then
I need to administer some medication.  However, if he was not
delirious, if the poisoning was not that advanced, then the medication
would be contraindicated, could in fact do much more harm than good."

Janeway said positively, "He was not delirious, Doctor."

Chakotay gave her a puzzled look.  "Captain?  'Tell the dark lady I
love her' - that's not delirious?"

"No."

"Well - how do you know?"

She straightened her spine and looked her First Officer in the eye.
"Because," Kathryn said evenly, "I AM the dark lady."

Kathryn stood at the window of her quarters, watching the stars of the
Delta Quadrant stream anonymously by.  She had been pacing the Sickbay
until the Doctor asked her gently to leave, promising to notify her at
once of any change.  The blood transfer would be a lengthy process, he
said.

She didn't even think about trying to sleep.

---

The door chime sounded.  Kathryn opened her mouth, but nothing came
out.  She cleared her throat and tried again. "Come in."

The door opened and Tuvok entered.

She turned to him, glad to see him, her oldest friend.  Before he
could speak, she began talking, the words tumbling out of her mouth as
if they'd been held back too long.  "Tuvok!  Do Vulcans know what
regret feels like?  Can they?  I never told him - told him that I love
him, how much - and now it may be too late - "

As she spoke, tears were streaming down her face, and they too had
been held back too long, and she didn't even pause to wipe them away.
"A coward, that's what I am, and a fool who doesn't deserve to be
happy - "

Calmly yet compassionately, Tuvok interrupted her.  "Captain, I've
come to inform you that Lieutenant Paris will survive - "

He was surprised that the information only made her cry harder, and
she flung herself on his chest bawling like a lost child.  After a
moment, the Vulcan hesitantly patted her back.

---

Kathryn stood on the upper level of her ready room, staring out the
window.  She'd been in Sickbay earlier.  Tom was still unconscious,
but the Doctor assured her that he was on the mend, and showed her
several incomprehensible computer screens to prove it.

Still, it had been good to sit there for a while, holding Tom's hand,
despite the odd looks from Harry and B'Elanna.

Now that the crisis was past, she had time to savor the revelation.
'He loves me.'   She remembered her earlier fears, the young officer,
never serious, wouldn't take this seriously - and felt ashamed of how
little she had known him.

The door buzzed.  "Come in."

Chakotay entered, with a stack of PADDS.  "Morning reports, Captain,"
he said, and placed them on the desk.

"Thank you, Commander," Kathryn said softly.

Chakotay turned to leave, but hesitated, and then moved further into
the room.  "Captain?"

She finally turned, and smiled.  "Yes, let's talk, why don't we?"

He joined her on the upper level and sat hesitantly on the sofa.

"It's going to come out now," Kathryn said.  "It has to.  And - I want
it to.  But I can't help worrying.  How will it affect the crew, do
you think?"

"As long as the two of you are professional about it," Chakotay said,
adding hastily, "and I'm sure you will be - I think the crew can
handle it.  And I'll make it a point to see that they handle it."

She smiled at that.  She was so used to thinking of Tuvok as her right
hand, she sometimes forgot how effectively this former rebel filled
the role.  "I'm sure you will, Chakotay."

"And if it helps - "  He stopped, and looked unsure.

"Yes?"

"Well, there's a relationship of mine that I'd like to bring out in
the open."

And then he stopped again.

Kathryn leaned forward, silently encouraging.

"I know he's awfully young, and I never intended for anything to
happen, but we've been out here for so long, and he was so lonely, and
- "

Kathryn patted his hand.  "I think I'm the last person who can comment
on the age of people's chosen partners."

He laughed at that, and blurted, "All right then - it's Geron."

Kathryn sat back for a moment, suddenly realizing that she hadn't even
consciously noticed that the sulky teenager had been looking less
sulky lately.

"Well!" she said at last.  "That's wonderful, Chakotay.  So you think
that simultaneous revelations - "

" - could at least dissipate the gossip in several directions," he
finished with a grin.

She grinned back.  "It's a deal."

---

Sandrine's was crowded that night.  Tom looked around in wonder at the
people all gathered to celebrate his success at cheating death.  He
was incredibly touched.  The Doctor told him about the massive blood
drive, and how concerned everyone had been, and tonight everyone
seemed to want to pat him on the back, and make sure he knew that they
had contributed to the cause.

Chell bought him a drink and assured him earnestly that if Bolian
blood would have done any good, he would have given Tom gallons of it,
but as it was, he had to be content with manning the blood purifier,
and liked to think that in his own small way, he too had a part --

As the large blue Maquis rattled on, Tom scanned the crowd, and caught
a dangerously warm smile from the Captain.  It worried him a little.
Harry and B'Elanna had cornered him earlier, asking insistent
questions about The Dark Lady, and he'd looked puzzled and
uncomprehending, asking them wide-eyed what on earth they were talking
about.  He thought that was a pretty good recovery, and hoped the
Captain wasn't mad at him.  Judging from that smile, apparently not.

But now maybe he'd better pack it in.  He was tired, like the Doctor
said he'd be for a few days, and blinked several times.

And then, there she was.  Standing right in front of him, smiling.
That smile.  Made his knees weak.

"You're tired, Tom.  Why don't we call it a night?"

And Captain Janeway held her hand out to him, still smiling that warm
smile.

Tom was so stunned that he couldn't move for a moment.  Some part of
his brain was asking, isn't this supposed to be a secret? She stood
there, hand still extended, and a hush was falling over the room, and
it dawned on him how brave she was, that he could destroy her with a
simple comment, a bland 'beg your pardon?', or just an uncomprehending
look.

Then he took her hand.  For a long moment, they just stood together,
smiling at one another, and then he raised her hand and kissed it.
"You're right, I am tired," he said at last.

And Tom and Kathryn left Sandrine's together.

The long moment of silence in Sandrine's was succeeded by a babbling
roar.  Sandrine started some dance music.

Chakotay leaned on the bar, assessing the situation.  In a few
minutes, a group had coalesced, and sure enough, they were all Maquis,
and they were heading this way.  With Henley and Dalby in the lead, of
course.

"Well, Commander," Henley demanded, "WHAT do you make of THAT?"

"Yeah," Dalby added, "and what do we do about it?"

The First Officer took a long thoughtful drink of his beer, scanning
the group.  He noticed Geron behind the others, and smiled.  "What I
make of it is that it's really none of my business," he said calmly.
"And we don't do anything about it.  We go about our business and act
like professionals."  Making eye contact with Dalby, he asked softly,
"After all, isn't that the Star Fleet way?"

Dalby dropped his eyes, remembering the occasion where Chakotay had
demonstrated the difference between the Star Fleet way and the Maquis
way.  He really didn't want to get into that again.

Setting down his beer, Chakotay turned to Geron.  "May I have this
dance?"  And he whirled the young Bajoran out onto the dance floor,
inspiring the second lengthy silence of the evening.

Smiling up at his big lover, Geron whispered, "Taking some of the heat
off the boss?"

"Hey, that's part of the job."

The teenager's arms tightened around the First Officer, and he added,
"Not that I'm complaining or anything."

Harry Kim stood at the bar, and turned to exchange astonished looks
with B'Elanna Torres.  What a day this had turned out to be!

"Hey, B'Elanna," he said, "the eligible men are going fast, better
grab me while you can."

He was unprepared for the fiery glare he received in return.

"You'd sure as hell better not be joking, Star Fleet!" B'Elanna
snarled.  Before he could respond, she had grabbed him by the hand,
and began to drag him from the room.  "You know any poetry?" she
demanded.

In his confusion, Harry could only resort to a familiar old form.
"Uuuuuh -- 'there was an old man from Nantucket -- "

"Good enough."

And they were gone.

---

.... Silent and unseen, Q drifted the corridors of Voyager, enormously
pleased with himself.  What an intriguing chain of events.  And all
he'd had to do was to move one person from one room into another,
once.  It would make a most interesting report for the Continuum.

But then Q frowned.  The Continuum was a most demanding audience.  He
could already hear them, asking questions that he couldn't answer.
Why DID the captain choose the convict?  Why did the middle-aged rebel
choose the teenaged rebel?  Why did the female rebel choose Star
Fleet's good boy?  For that matter, why did any humanoid choose any
other humanoid?  (And WHAT did the old man from Nantucket have to do
with it?)

Q could already imagine several carping Qs, arms crossed, sneering at
him - 'aren't you supposed to be our expert on humans, Q?' And then Q
had a bright idea.  Why not ask Jean-Luc?  What a splendid idea!  He
didn't even notice that his mood brightened appreciably at the thought
of spending some time with the irritable Captain.  'I'm sure Jean-Luc
can explain it all,' Q told himself, and in a flash he was gone,
streaming toward the Alpha Quadrant, humming 'Why Do Fools Fall In
Love'....

---

Kathryn lay in her big bed, head pillowed on Tom's chest, and watched
the stars streaking past her window.

"Those stars," she murmured drowsily, "what do you suppose their names
are?"

Tom thought about it for a minute.  "Oh, I'm sure Stellar Cartography
is using the usual naming rules, all sorts of mythological characters,
and the Greek alphabet."

"Suppose so."

"And then, on the planets in the area, people are looking at the stars
and arranging them into pictures, and giving the pictures names.  That
grouping there - " he pointed to a group of stars that flashed quickly
past.  "Well, that was The Slipper And The Snake, named for the
legendary farmer's wife who killed the snake that was threatening her
baby."

Kathryn entered into the spirit of the thing.  "And there's The Bound
Man, named for the mortal who betrayed his goddess lover, so she tied
him to a rock and kept him captive, feeding him grapes and lettuce
leaves, until the head god felt sorry for him and turned him into a
constellation."

"And there's The Six Brothers, who all died heroically in battle
against the barbarians."

"And the Drunken Plowman and the Crooked Furrow."

Tom chuckled.  "Oh, that's a good one!"

Kathryn snuggled closer to Tom, sighing happily as his arms tightened
around her.

"Cap - uh - Kathryn?"

"Hmm?"

Tom sounded apologetic.  "Do I, well, live here now?"

"If you want to."

"Good."  The word was slurred with fatigue, and Tom just managed to
kiss the top of her head before drifting off to sleep.

Kathryn stayed awake a while longer, watching the stars, the nameless
stars that seemed a bit less alien tonight.  Because Tom was with her
now.

---

The End