The BLTS Archive - Video Night Two
part of the Conversion Universe
by Merri Todd Webster (lonchura@yahoo.com)

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DISCLAIMER: No one herein mentioned belongs to me; I grovel first
before Chris Carter, 1013, and Fox, then before Paramount.

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"I brought the wine, Mulder. Hope you like Pinot Noir."

"Great. That'll be great with spaghetti, won't it?"

'sniffs' "Spaghetti? Do I smell cooking, Mulder?"

'proudly' "Yes, you do, Scully. I made us spaghetti."

'Scully staggers into the kitchen, clutching her chest.'

"You made food from scratch? You didn't just order a pizza?"

'wounded' "I can cook, Scully. It's just too much trouble most of the
time."

"God, even a salad. Agent Mulder, you've outdone yourself."

"Well, I started with a box of spaghetti and a jar of sauce, not raw
tomatoes and dough, but I doctored it up a little. And I know how you
like rabbit food. That balsamic vinegar dressing cost me, though."
'rattle of plates' "Now go sit on the couch, warm up the TV, open the
wine, and I'll bring everything in."

'short interval'

"Wow. Look at all this food."

"Garlic bread?"

"You bet."

'crunch' 'munch' 'slurp'

"This wine is great."

"Thanks."

"Why haven't you turned on the TV?"

"What do you want to watch?"

"It's a Trek night, Scully." 'click' "Don't want to miss Voyager."

'sigh' "Of all the Trek you could watch, Mulder, that's got to be the
worst."

"What are you talking about?"

"It can't compare with Next Gen. Even the Original Series was better!"

"Come on, Scully, if you can put up with Shatner overacting in a
toupee, you can put up with Kate Mulgrew pretending she's a cross
between Shatner and Kate Hepburn." 'scowl' "Shit, it's a rerun."

"Never mind, Mulder. We can watch -- what the hell is that?"

'grin' "That's Seven of Nine. She's an ex-Borg."

'slurp' "Looks more like 44 of D to me."

'cackling' "Funny you should say that, Scully-- that's what Frohike
and Langley call her."

"I never was flattered that Frohike thinks I'm 'hot'. Now I'm never
going to be."

"Cool your jets, Scully. She's really an interesting character, once
you look past her, um, costume."

'snort' "And you do?"

"Hey, I'm a sensitive, Nineties kind of guy. Don't I look past your
exterior?"

"Every time you get my clothes off, Mulder." 'smirk'

"I haven't heard you complaining, Agent Dr. Scully."

"Yeah, well, women can objectify men, too, Agent Professor Mulder."

'pout' "Is that what you've been doing, Scully? Am I just a sexual
object to you? Long legs and full lips?"

'sidelong glance' "I thought you knew that already, Mulder." 'swat!'
"Hey, you'll get garlic butter on my shirt!"

"Oh, look, this is a great scene! Neelix is trying to get her to eat
for the first time."

"I feel really sorry for that guy, forced to dress up like a warthog
to make a living."

"It beats getting abducted, doesn't it?"

'considering frown' "I don't know, Mulder, I really don't. -- What's
that supposed to be?"

"A raven."

"Oh, yeah? Well, somebody should tell them ravens don't have yellow
eyes and don't scream."

"It's television, Scully. You can't expect it to be realistic. I mean,
imagine if they made a TV show about our job. You think it would be
anything like the reality?"

'mock shudder' "Nothing could be like the reality of working with you,
Mulder."

"Thanks a lot, Scully. Just for that, I'll be sure to call out 'Seven'
the next time we make love."

"Okay, but don't be surprised if I call out 'Harry'."

"Harry? Like in Ensign Harry Kim, Starfleet's most clueless?"

"Who cares? Besides, he's not clueless, just youthful--and really
good-looking--"

"--And in love with the pilot, so forget about him."

"The pilot? Who?"

"Tom Paris. The tall light-haired guy--him, right there."

"Oh, come on. Two guys in love?"

"Well, you don't see it onscreen, but it's there in the subtext."

'snort'

"Come on, Scully, do I act like I'm madly in love with you while we're
on the job?"

'satisfied smile'"Yes, you do, Mulder. Yes, you do." 'grin' "Great, a
scene with Harry!"

'deep pout' "I always knew I'd lose you to a good set of pecs."

'trailing fingers' "Don't sell yourself short, Mulder. You're no
slouch in the pecs department." 'seductive smile' "And you and Harry
have something in common, you know."

"What's that?"

"Deliciously, lasciviously full lips."

'grin' "You think so? Well, you're no slouch either in the lips
department, Agent Scully."

'slow kiss'

"Or the tongue department--"

"Oops--I'm on the remote--"

"It's a rerun, anyway--"

'click'

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The End