The BLTS Archive - Video Night One
part of the Conversion Universe
by Merri Todd Webster (lonchura@yahoo.com)

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THE OVERTURE: I think I manage to insult two sets of TPTB in this very
short piece. I guess that takes talent, of a sort. Anyway, I don't own
any of the characters mentioned in this little dialogue (but I could
wish I did).

This one is just for the PKSP, and let it be archived only on the PKSP
site (when such a thing comes to be). I think of it as a little
thank-you box of candy from The Boys for "Conversion".

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"What are you watching?"

"It's called 'The X-Files'."

"Another of those old films you're always raving over?"

"Not quite. This was a television show."

"What's that? Where'd the story go?"

"They used to call these 'commercials'. Sponsors for the  show would
pay to advertise their products during its broadcast, in the hope that
viewers would be inspired to buy them. That was why the viewers could
get the broadcasts for free."

"Sounds pretty barbaric to me. Where did you get this stuff?"

"From Megan and Jenny. Apparently they've been passing down copies of
these videos in their family for generations."

"I always knew they were weird."

"Shh, it's back."

'absorbed silence accompanied by slight fidgeting'

"Who's the pretty redhead?"

"That's Scully. She's an FBI agent and a medical doctor."

"FBI?"

"Federal Bureau of Investigations. Har, let me explain this at the
next commercial break."

"Okay, okay. . . " 'more absorbed silence' "Ye gods, is that thing
meant to be a computer?"

'chuckle' "1990s state of the art."

'leans back on bed' 'thoughtful attention' "Okay, what's the FBI, and
who's the tall, dark, and slender one with the pouty lip?"

"It's a nice lip." 'quick kiss' "I've always been partial to full
lips, you know."

"Is that why drool runs down your lip when you look at the redhead?"

"Don't be jealous, Har." 'caressing the thigh' "I could have had both
the Delaneys, you know, but I took you instead."

"Don't brag so much, flyboy. Look, the show's back, and you still
haven't answered my ques-- Whoa! Who's the guy taking off his
clothes?"

"That's Skinner. He's the boss. Scully, the redhead, and Mulder, the
brunet with the lip, they work under him."

'leer' "I'd work under him! What a body!"

"He's got a face like a dog!"

"Who cares, in the dark?"

'pout' "Is that why you always want to turn the lights out? Because
I've got a face like a dog?"

'exasperated sigh' "I want to turn the lights out because having them
shine in my face doesn't exactly put me in the mood." 'ruffling hair'
"You've got an awfully cute pout, you know."

'mild sulk' "Let's just watch the show."

"Fine." '12-minute act of a teleplay' "Now will  you explain to me
what's going on?"

'deep breath' "Mulder and Scully are agents of the FBI, a national
crime unit, and they investigate paranormal experiences, which they
call "x-files". Mulder is particularly interested in alien
abductions."

'frown' "Alien abductions? You mean like non-human  sentients
abducting Earth humans for sexual experimentation?"

"Yeah, exactly."

"But wasn't that proven to be a hoax created by several national
governments to distract attention from military build-up and human
rights violations?"

"Yes, but not until after this show aired. That was in the very early
twenty- first century. In fact, this show had a lot to do with that
hoax being exposed."

"Oh."

"Why don't you just watch the show, sweetheart. I'll explain it all to
you later."

'pout' "But I can't enjoy something I don't understand." 'deeper pout'
"And I hate it when you patronize me like that." 'turns away'

'stifled sigh' "I'm sorry, Harry. It's just that I was really, really
into this show when you came by."

"You think they're better-looking than I am." 'sniff'

"Not in a million years." 'caress'

"You're probably thinking about that Mulder guy's lip while you're
hanging on mine."

"No way! He doesn't have muscles like yours. . ." 'suggestive squeeze'

"Does he ever take his clothes off?"

"Occasionally. He's built kind of like me."

"How about Scully? Does she ever take her clothes off?"

"Not that I can recall."

"Too bad." 'sexy smile' "So why don't you  take my clothes off, Agent
Paris? I've been told by some that I have paranormal qualities. . ."

"You certainly do, Har. You certainly do."

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The End