The BLTS Archive - Q is Forever Story Three in The Q Bond series by Varoneeka --- Hi. This is an NC-17 P/Q story, third in a series, "From Q, With Love," and "Live and Let Q." It's decidedly lacking in BDSM (though those are lovely stories, no question). No one under 18 or who dislikes sex between two men (kinda) or lots of love-talk should read any further. Feedback, public or private, is appreciated. Paramount owns everything, and so shouldn't be mad at me for playing around with such irresistible toys. I'm not doing this to make money -- though I sure wish I could! --- It had been six days now, from his perspective, and Riker still hadn't figured out the identity of his captain's new lover. He wasn't the only one working on it, of course. Beverly, Data, and Geordi had all offered speculation -- Deanna knew, of course, but no one would be such a twit as to ask her -- and some of the non-command staff had been offering loud hints and suggestions of their own. Someone had started up a pool which now covered the names of just about every single woman on the ship, and a few male names as well. The male names had taken Riker by surprise. As far as he knew Picard's history was limited to women, but he supposed it wasn't beyond the realm of possibility. It was difficult to imagine, though, Picard taking a male lover, though why, Riker wasn't quite certain. Perhaps he simply couldn't picture a man who would be willing to put up with Picard's need to dominate without earning the captain's disdain at being so willing. There always seemed to Riker a bit more room to maneuver in that area with women. But, frankly, Riker didn't care. If he did meet this person, his only real interest -- well, his primary interest anyway -- would be to thank them. The captain's happiness in this relationship was obvious; it was this happiness which had, after all, clued everyone in on the relationship in the first place. While never sacrificing an inch of his authority, Picard laughed more easily, seemed almost blind to life's little annoyances, and could now be seen smiling to himself when he thought no one was looking. And yet the real change was less tangible than that. To be sure, there were times Picard seemed as irritated or impatient as ever. Life as a starship captain could never be complete without giving cause for stifled complaint. He had the same quiet strength, the same come-not-too-close aura, the same hard determination as always. But the faint hint of loneliness, that suggestion of need which peeped out in unexpected half-seconds of vulnerability, was gone. Completely gone. And in its place mutely sparkled an air of boundless contentment. Riker had thought once or twice to be a little hurt that Picard wouldn't volunteer the information to him, but Picard's need for privacy was hardly a revelation to him. In the end, he settled on the virtue of patience and kept his fingers crossed that this time, unlike all times in the past, somehow it would work out. But there was no sense in anyone else being too comfortable, and in the pool he anonymously put down the name, "Data." hy don't you like it when I say you're beautiful?" Picard sighed, then grunted as his right foot finally slipped into its boot. The computer had replicated a pair that was just a little too tight, not enough to warrant getting a new pair, but just not quite the usual level of comfortable. "Isn't it enough that I don't like it?" the captain asked quietly, not looking at his lover. Q hadn't moved from his redolently naked pose on the bed, and he didn't want to deal with the strange blend of sensations that accompanied that particular sight. It still embarrassed him that his body responded so strongly to nothing more than the look in Q's eyes or the suggestive leer upon his lips. The knowledge that Q was lying there nude and aroused only a few feet from him was making it extremely difficult to think about his upcoming meeting with the senior staff, or about what he should ask from the replicator for breakfast. "But you are beautiful," Q said softly, his deep voice making that thing in Picard's stomach coil a bit yet again. "The most beautiful thing I've ever seen in the whole universe, especially when one of us is inside the other and you're about to come." "Q!" Picard snapped, though it did nothing to stop his body's reaction to Q's silken words. He couldn't really understand it. Q and he had just made love half an hour ago, and yet his body was demanding more so loudly he felt that it had been weeks and weeks since Q had put his arms around him to hold him while he exploded with pleasure. He could even now almost feel the aftershocks of it, and yet he was so far from sated he felt almost faint with longing. How could he live like this? But when he forgot himself and looked over at Q in his bed, the unanswered question simply dissolved from his consciousness. "Q," he whispered, "take us out of here." Pure delight flooded Q's face, his dark eyes, always so bright, glowing with anticipation as his hand raised to snap. And suddenly Picard was standing right to the side of his clothes, which held their place, waiting for their owner to be inside them again. With difficulty, knowing his lover would be hyper-sensitive to any rejection now that things had become openly sexual, Picard swallowed his objection and stood there, watching Q's eyes glitter with need as they looked him over. The moment held until Picard's own arousal was starkly evident. "Beautiful," Q pronounced, then snapped his fingers again. And they were sitting on a blanket in the Dicsh'kat garden, dressed in their "walking clothes," a picnic spread out before them. "Another wedding?" Picard asked, pleased with the casual tone his voice managed. "It's too hot for the sisters at present," Q said with equal calm, as though his erection were not showing clearly through his jeans, nor his eyes lingering avidly over Picard's chest. "They're at their summer palace." "I thought this was the summer palace," Picard replied. "Early summer." "Oh." Picard met Q's eyes then, and allowed his own to show how he felt. He expected Q to make a comment, sexual, teasing, loving, but instead, the entity only stared back, and the captain allowed himself the luxury of looking over every part of Q's face, from his full lips, to his dark hairline, to his strong brow, to his extremely sensitive ears, to his chin that liked to be nibbled on, and finally to his eyes, and to the expression in them that made Picard's breath come faster and that special pain inside his body start to clench. He knew he would be the first to make a move this time, and smiled slightly in anticipation of watching the expression in Q's eyes change from that glittering challenge, to desire, and finally to pleasure and joy. But then Q spoke, softly, almost desperately. "Why?" Picard buried his sigh and raised his eyebrows. "Why, after all these years of my chasing you did you finally let me catch you?" "I prefer to think of it as my catching you," Picard offered, knowing it wouldn't be enough. It wasn't. Q laid down on the blanket with a sigh that was attempting to sound carefree and came out betraying frustration. Signs of arousal and desire began to subside as he studied the blue-pink sky as though he were committing each particle of light to memory, and Picard fought his own desire simply to jump on top of Q and force him to respond. He'd tried that before, and, while it had led enjoyably to sex, Q's insecurities had only increased three-fold afterwards. "Q," he said slowly instead, "what can I do to prove to you that I love you? Ever since we've started this I've thought of no one and nothing but you. I can barely do my job, and if I don't learn how to handle this better I'm going to have to resign my commission. Do you realize how much that frightens me? Losing the Enterprise?" Q looked at him blankly, but Picard could sense his fear. "But you know what? I'm not going to lose the Enterprise, and I'm not going to lose you. Somehow I'm going to have both of you." "Perhaps I would believe you more if you weren't so ashamed of me." "I'm not ashamed of you! I just want..." Picard rubbed at his temples. "I just want to get things a little more settled between us before I turn my crew's lives up-side down. If I were this involved with anyone I'd want that." Q looked back at the sky. "Tell me what you want me to do, Q, and I'll do it. Do you want me to hold a meeting of my staff and tell them I'm in love with you? Take me back to the Enterprise right now and I will." "You make it sound like a death sentence." "Q, have you dealt fully with the Continuum about this?" Q looked back at him, a frown forming. "Would you like it if I told you how to handle them?" "Your crew all know you've got someone, you know." "I should think they do. I'm not stupid. I've told that to you often enough now for you to remember it. I know how differently I've been acting. Look, I don't even know myself what's going to happen to me because of this, because of what we're becoming to each other. I don't even know what you want out of it, how long it will last, how --" "How long do you want it to last?" Picard had an easy answer for that one: "The rest of my life." Q smiled, sly and lazy. "At least, Picard. At least." "I'm not going to become a Q." "I never said you would. I'm not even sure I'd like you as a Q. You'd probably try to become Admiral Q or something." Picard tried not to let his relief show, and Q kept to himself the information that there were many levels of existence between Human mortality and Qdom. He had no intention of ever letting Jean-Luc die, but it simply wasn't time for that conversation yet. "Why are you smiling?" Picard wanted to know. "Because you're right." "My God. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" Q stretched languidly on the blanket before purring with a slight smile, "Come here and kiss me." "Is that an order?" Picard asked, his body leaning slightly forward as though he were considering the matter. Q's expression grew, if anything, more languid, and Picard found himself lowering his body down onto his elbows at Q's side, his head inches above Q's shoulder. "Where do you want me to kiss you?" the man asked. "An interesting question," Q responded, smile growing. With an almost tentative motion, he put his right hand lightly to Picard's face and stroked with his fingertips from brow to chin and then up, slightly, to his lips, which they delicately traced. Picard kissed his fingers with equal care, and Q moved his hand around to the back of Picard's neck, drawing the man towards him. Picard tried to respond directly to that touch, waiting until Q had guided him to a spot very near to his lips, and then kissed Q's chin with affection. The entity chuckled and redirected his efforts slightly. Picard's next kiss was on his lips, lightly, then a bit more deeply, then passionately, until Q's deep breaths grew satisfactorily ragged. Picard had already moved his left hand to Q's stomach and was pulling his shirt up. Breaking the kiss for only a second, he stripped the shirt from Q, then resumed his exploration of the inside of his lover's warm mouth as he trailed light caresses over Q's chest and stomach. Again he felt the slight tremors as he touched sensitive areas. Then the light pressure against his neck shifted, and Picard was kissing a gentle trail down Q's neck, then past his collarbone, then over his sternum. He was half-way to the navel before he was sure of Q's destination, and his low chuckle vibrated through them both. Working quickly with his hands even as his kisses lingered along their path, Picard had moved Q's pants and briefs out of the way well before his lips moved gently into that patch of dark hair. It was odd how much he and Q enjoyed undressing each other. Usually, in their haste to come together, Q simply wished them both naked. But when they could stand it, there was some sort of declaration of intent in going to the trouble of fumbling with buttons and seals, a rediscovery of the strip tease. Now it somehow seemed more sensual to have his own clothes on as he did this, and to have Q's pants still tangled below his knees. And then Picard stopped thinking about clothes. The first time he had done this he'd been amazed to discover that it was pleasurable. Now he found it completely different but just as exciting to put his mouth on Q as it was to be on the receiving end of this intimate act. The taste of Q's precum in his mouth, the feel of his lover as he gasped and groaned, the way this act seemed connected only to Q -- his only male, or at least male-like, lover. More than that, he had acknowledged to himself with difficulty, it was simply intoxicating to know that as he did this, Q -- semi-omnipotent, immortal, snide and mocking Q -- actually became helpless with sensation. Q had once hesitantly explained that when he and Picard made love he had to let go of most of his powers, separate himself from parts of his own consciousness to avoid accidentally blowing up a star or changing the gravitational constant of the universe during orgasm. To know as he dragged his tongue along his lover's erection the power inside Q's willing and trembling body -- just thinking about it gave Picard a raging hard-on. It had taken him some practice to learn how to take Q fully into his mouth, fighting down his gag reflex, and he felt rather absurdly proud of the ability, so it was a bit of discipline for both of them as he licked again and again at the tip. The pressure on his neck was increasing, and Q's hips were lifting up from the blanket as his gasps grew a bit more desperate, but Picard would not be rushed. Until he judged the moment right, and then he took Q in completely in a single move that made his lover scream. So great was Q's surprise, in fact, that Picard felt the beginnings of an orgasm almost immediately. Using the will power he always needed around Q, he eased the pressure from his mouth and tightened his hand's hold around the base, keeping his lover from coming. "Damn you," Q groaned as his body remained tense. Thinking an evil grin, Picard once again began to suck, this time gently, on Q's cock, as one finger (lubricated, of course) teased Q's tight bud. Deep shudders racked his body as Q spread his legs further and whispered something desperate. Unexpectedly, Picard became aware of the sun's warmth on the back of his neck, and heard the light drone of the garden's insect life. His heart was pounding in his chest and his pants were painfully tight. He let his lips rest against the very tip of Q's weeping penis. "I love you," he uttered reverently, his deep voice vibrating through his lover and bringing a gasp. "You love me," Q said, forcing himself not to thrust into that mouth. "I love you. I'd rather be with you than do anything else in the universe." Picard felt wetness inside his pants now, knew he was close to losing it, while he wracked his brains for a response to so great and so sincere an endearment. "Being with you feels better than saving Humanity," he half-chuckled, half-groaned before taking Q in completely again, reaching inside his lover to stroke that tiny spot over and over as Q fought not to come not to come not to come... "Jean-Luc!" Q wailed, and then he screamed, long and hard, as Picard swallowed deeply, over and over, staying with him through the sunbursts and explosions and super-novas, until they were both inert, both drenched, both spread out unheedingly on the blanket. icard woke up to find that Q was kissing him, a deep, searching kiss which Picard returned as best he could, feeling the energy Q poured into him, immediately ready for whatever his lover had in mind. This is insane, Picard thought. And I don't care. And then their clothes were gone, and Q covered him with his taller body, his hands busy caressing his chest and stomach and ass and thighs, as though he couldn't touch enough of Picard at once. His tongue wrapped around the man's and thrust in and out, brushing the roof of his mouth, then again plunging deeply. His erection -- naturally Q was hard again -- began to rub against his lover's, and Picard had begun to thrust back when Q abruptly withdrew to straddle Picard with a wild expression in his eyes. This is new, Picard managed to think before Q raised up suddenly and lowered himself with one forceful thrust onto Picard's cock. "My God! Q!" Picard shouted as the reality of it tried to register. Q began to raise and lower himself and Picard was torn between the sensations rushing through his body and simple admiration for the sense of balance Q was displaying. Using that conflict to keep his head partially clear, he reached down and grasped Q's erection, stroking him as best he could as Q continued to move them both towards fulfillment. Picard fought to keep his eyes open, watching the careful and strained movement of Q's shuddering body, muscles moving under his smooth skin, face drawn in concentration, chest heaving with unsteady breaths. The difficulty of this joining was excitingly new and forced Picard to greater awareness of what they were doing. Q is taking me inside his body, he thought, taking me deep inside while I jerk him off, and it's so hot and tight and good I think I'll explode any minute, but I'm trying not to. It's so hard, so hard, not to come, but I want to make him feel good. I want to feel good. I love this. I love him. I can't get enough of this. He can hardly stand it, Q was thinking, the reserved captain fucking me in the ass and wanting more, out of control and pushed to the edge and still working to make it last. But I can see it starting now. Come for me, Jean-Luc. Come for me, Beautiful, so beautiful and I can feel every bit of you inside me. But Q came first, again, exploding hot cum all over Picard's chest as his muscles tightened around Picard's cock and drew out wave after wave of thick, warm fluid deep inside Q, until the lovers once again lay sprawled together on the blanket, gasping and trying to say something of gratitude and love. It was some time before Q thought to clean them up. And it was some time after that as they lay wrapped around each other on the blanket that Picard began to laugh. At Q's interrogative noise, he grumbled, "You're ruining me, you know. An effective form of insurance." Q's mumble sounded like, "Insurance?" but Picard couldn't be sure. "I'll never be able to make love with anyone else. They wouldn't put up with my demands." "Does that bother you?" "Not particularly." Q made a noise of satisfaction. Picard frowned and rolled over to look at him. The sun was making long shadows and hiding Q's eyes from him. "Is this really any good for you?" Picard asked. "Is it enough?" Q frowned at him. "Making love with a mortal, limited to Human experiences: is it enough for you?" "And you complain when I ask hard questions." "Meaning?" "I thought we'd agreed to take the conversation as it came up, to discuss what was necessary in the order of its appearance. How can I tell you now what's 'enough' for either of us?" "That's an evasion, Q." "Yes, one obvious enough even for a Human to recognize." "Q!" "I may want more from you sometimes, Jean-Luc, but that doesn't make what we have any less good. Can you tell me any differently?" The captain thought a moment, once again slightly worried about how easily he had gotten used to existing outside time. There seemed only to be the present instant, no weariness from what he had been through, no anxiety about the future. The garden was deliciously warm and steeped in summer scents, and his eager lover was in his arms. Did he want more? It seemed incredibly selfish even to imagine it. But yes, he wanted more, and that only made what they had better. It shouldn't, but it did. And then Picard thought, not for the first time, that he and Q made love so often, so passionately, because they were trying to say "I love you" without the diversions of verbal speech. Somehow they wanted to convey nothing but the feelings they had for each other: a pure love, without consideration of the racial, cultural, and mortal barriers between them. They had no idea how to bridge those gaps, so they concentrated on making each other come. It was actually pretty logical, in point of fact, but he couldn't help but wonder how long it would satisfy them. What would Q ask from him when he felt the time was right? What would he ask from Q? "I love you, Q," Picard said deeply, carefully, meaning it in a way he hadn't quite meant it before. "Whatever we face, as long as you're here with me facing it, I'll always love you." The body next to his stretched out along the cool shadows of the evening, a play of desire and contentment, a whisper of the night to come, and Picard smiled at the interplay of love and lust, wondering if his lover's next touch would be a taste of a promise or a need. Either way, he would respond eagerly, and be pleased with the response. Somehow of late it had become as much fun to cajole Q from his reluctant insecurities as it was to struggle against his demanding shows of force. And why did he love Q? It was certainly a fair question. Q had been nothing but a pain at first, a reminder of something, but of what? He had been so intrigued, right from the beginning, right from the start of that presence in his life, that first ridiculous, "Thou art appointed to return to thine own solar system," or some such rot. It really had been too silly for words. My God. Had he wanted Q right from the start? There was such a sense of belonging and longing between them that Picard was vaguely worried that he would never regain his balance, never reach that state where he could think clearly about their relationship. What the hell was he going to say to his crew, anyway? Well, they must know he was happy, happier, in fact, than he'd ever been. That would count for something. Perhaps he should just be direct. "Thank you for your report, Mr. Data, and, now, before you resume your posts, I'd like to tell you that Q and I have become lovers. The sex is unimaginably good and I love him more than I've ever loved anyone, and have you finished reconfiguring the lateral sensors, Mr. LaForge?" "What are you laughing at?" Q's warm voice wandered over him, seeking out points of pleasure. "Nothing. Everything. You and me and my life and us here, together." "It is a little strange," Q admitted. "I've wanted you like this for so long, and now I've had you for twenty-seven days, and it still seems somewhat unreal." Q chuckled deeply, but Picard heard a rueful note in it. "I'm spending too much time in this form." "Meaning?" "'Days'. 'Unreal.' Human concepts. To Q everything is real because we wish it to be so." He held up a languid hand to forestall his lover's comments. "Yes, yes. The difference between taking and being given, that's a difference between real and unreal." Picard blinked his way through understanding that, then simply rolled on his back and lay beside Q until the late afternoon had made that tangible shift into evening. "Back to the Enterprise?" Q asked finally, then snapped his fingers at Picard's nod, and the captain was standing in his uniform in his room, alone, except for the specter of his duty and the only somewhat abated need in his body. everly Crusher checked her findings three times before she even attempted to cope with what they told her. There was absolutely no question about it: the small lesion in Jean-Luc's brain was completely absent from his latest medical scans. There was no sign that it had been there other than the evidence from his last scans. And there was more to it. Jean-Luc had always been healthy. Keeping him that way was something of an obsession with her. But now...now he was displaying a supremely perfect health that went beyond good medical care. And that meant... Beverly felt herself squaring her shoulders against it. That meant Q. And that meant that her friend's recent happiness...his recent love and happiness... Oh God, Q? Jean-Luc and Q? Never before in Beverly's life had she actually fallen from her chair laughing, but that didn't stop her today. She simply could not get the mental image out of her head. Dimly, she thought, "I should be horrified, or at least jealous." But ever since Jean-Luc had told her about that possible future marriage and divorce between them, Beverly had been doing all she could to see her dear, close, old friend as nothing more than a friend. She'd found, to her surprise, that the main obstacle to overcome hadn't been desire, but resentment that after so much time and effort between them he had found such an easy out to the whole thing. But now Jean-Luc had Q for a lover! She hoped, in her most selfish part of her soul, that Q was demanding and difficult, that he pouted and complained and...and that he truly cared for Jean-Luc, and in so doing, in being a Q and not an ordinary mortal, that he somehow gave Jean-Luc whatever impossible thing it was that her friend had never before been able to find with anyone else. She deeply hoped that finally, finally with Q Jean-Luc had found someone who could love him enough and in just the right way. And then the mental image came at her again and she stayed sprawled out on the floor, laughing so hard she was afraid she'd make herself ill. "Having a good time?" Deanna asked from the door of her small office. "You knew!" Deanna looked puzzled. "You knew it's Q and you said nothing!" "I'm not sure..." "Don't start that with me. Jean-Luc's scans have come out super-perfect and there's only one person who could do that for him." Deanna struggled a moment longer with herself, then gave in. Beverly was bound by similar codes of confidence, and she was, after all, right. "It's been killing me to be the only one who knows," she breathed, walking over to Beverly to help her to her feet. "How long has it been going on?" "For as long as he's been looking the way he has. Or longer, sort of." Deanna shook her head as her friend walked to the replicator and got them both some hot chocolate. "I don't know for certain, really. Q's blocking the captain from me, in part. I can feel his happiness when I'm with him, but as for other things..." She took a sip of the drink and settled into a chair with Beverly in the other, the one not behind her desk. "I'm grateful, actually. There are certain things an empath doesn't feel comfortable with and considering the...players, I'm quite relieved to be left out of things." Beverly almost choked on her drink and had to set it down a minute as another fit of laughing began. "I don't think I want to know what you're laughing at," Deanna said, then tried to be serious as Beverly calmed down and sipped again at her cocoa. "Are you really okay with this?" The doctor thought awhile, then sighed. "Things were never really right between us, and with what he told me of the future...I think I'm relieved, more than anything. I can't help it. I'm just glad that he's happy." Suddenly Beverly shot up in her chair, the chocolate almost spilling. "Oh God! Riker!" ata," Geordi said with pleasure as the door to his quarters opened. It was hardly unusual for his friend to visit like this, and so he didn't spend much time in the greeting, as genuine as it was, before turning back to his latest project: another model of a famous ship, this time of the 19th century Enterprise, in commemoration of Worf's promotion and the event which had finally given his friend the determination to implant his emotion chip. But when Data made no chit-chat about the day's business, nor offered suggestions for the improvement of the model, the android claimed all of Geordi's attention. And now that he turned to look, the expression on Data's face was extremely uncertain. "What is it, Data? Can I help you?" "I am not sure," Data responded slowly. "I do not know what to do, and I do not know whom to ask." "Well, that sounds serious. Have a seat, Data." The second officer sat down on his friend's couch, his eyes staring uncertainly at the floor as Geordi joined him. "It can't be that bad, Data." "I am certain I know who the captain is currently being...intimate with." Geordi let out a low whistle. This was not anything like what he'd been expecting to hear. "I see..." he started weakly. "And this is information I would certainly keep to myself; however...it may be that this affair is endangering the ship." Geordi frowned at him. "And I am at a loss to understand whether my duties require me to...do something about it." "Something like what, Data?" "Inform Commander Riker, question Counselor Troi about her involvement." "You think the captain and Troi are having an affair?" Data looked at him blankly, then shook his head. "No, no. I only mean that the counselor must surely be aware of the relationship, and yet in spite of its dangerous nature has done nothing about it. I cannot help but wonder if she has been coerced in some fashion." "Data, just who do you think the captain is having an affair with?" "Q." Geordi gulped at him. "Are you out of your mind?" "No. Think about it, Geordi. The captain has been having an intense relationship with someone for two weeks now. He has been seeing this person steadily. Indeed, his unfailingly elevated mood at morning briefings suggests they he may be seeing them every night. Yet somehow the identity of this person has eluded everyone on this ship, even though many have overstepped the bounds of propriety because of their intense curiosity to discover the identity of the captain's lover." "That's hardly enough to suspect Q of being..." The commander trailed off. It wasn't enough, but it was pretty compelling. "There is also the captain's own need for secrecy," Data went on. "While the captain has never made an issue of his romantic involvements, he has never before displayed such strict silence. I do not believe he has said a word about the relationship to Commander Riker, nor has Counselor Troi allowed herself even a playful suggestion regarding the identity of the person in question. I remember the captain's association with Neela Darren being almost never spoken of in open company, and yet the entire command crew was eventually aware of what happened between them." "Yes, but we didn't know about Vash for almost a year." "But Vash was not a member of the crew. And, besides, there are also the two visits we know Q made to the captain some weeks ago." "But nothing came of them." "Precisely. Nothing came of them. That is unique in our experience with Q. He has thrown us across the galaxy, put us in trial for the crimes of Humanity, saved the captain's life, and perhaps altered the course of Earth's future. But he has never to my knowledge simply gone off and left us alone." My God, he's right. Geordi stared into his friend's amber eyes while he rode through the shock. The captain and...and...and Q! How the hell? Why in the world? Data began to laugh, and for the first time since that ruined science station Geordi didn't enjoy the sound. "I am sorry, my friend," Data said a moment later. "It is just that I now understand the expression 'gaping like a fish.'" hree days, Picard thought glumly as he sat behind his desk, a padd in front of him and a cold cup of tea in his hand. Somewhere in his room (well, wadded up in the corner next to the bathroom) there was a note Q had left on his desk, explaining that he had business with the Continuum and wouldn't be back for three days. He supposed that could be true, but he also thought it not unlikely that this was some sort of test or punishment or tease on Q's part. He found it incredibly shaming, how much his body was protesting the loss of its lover. This was only his second day now, and he felt empty and restless and abandoned. What if Q never came back? What if... "Get a grip on yourself, Jean-Luc!" he ordered himself aloud, safe in his ready room. He had no real reason to doubt Q's sincerity...really. This time could be good for both of them, give them some independence from each other. But he didn't want independence, Picard admitted to himself with some horror. Not this much, at any rate. Now that he had finally given himself over to this love he didn't want to be alone with it. He finally loved Q openly and completely, so why wasn't Q here? What could be so important... "Bahh," Picard growled at himself in disgust. This was awful. What was wrong with him? Other than being in love with an exasperating, extraordinarily powerful, needy and insecure semi-omnipotent being who knows how to make you come so hard you can't remember your own name for minutes afterwards? he asked himself. Three days. He looked at his tea and sighed and felt ridiculous. Worse than that, he felt worried. If he couldn't get himself under better control, if he couldn't stop wanting Q more the more he had him, he wouldn't be able to continue to command. He would lose the Enterprise after all, and then what would he be after all, but Q's little Human sex toy? With a rough shake, Picard put thoughts of Q and his empty, aching body aside and plowed through every report in every padd on his desk. When he next looked up, it was after two in the morning and his back and shoulders and neck were all killing him. Naturally, that made him think of his favorite masseur, but he was too tired, much too tired, he told himself, to think about that anymore. Tomorrow, he thought. Now that it was after midnight Q would be back tomorrow. He stood, feeling it in every aching muscle, and rubbed his hands wearily over his smooth scalp as he stepped around his desk. Only then did he become aware that he had an erection, and he leaned back against his desk in weary defeat. There was no way he could walk onto the bridge now, was there? Perhaps he should get the transporter room to...no, he would wait. Soon, surely, he'd be fit for public viewing once again. The idea of taking care of himself never crossed his mind, and he simply closed his eyes and willed his body to relax. And then he felt it, a breath in his ear, warm arms around him, a body between his own and the desk. He groaned before the materialization was even complete, his erection becoming painful as he shuddered through a deep breath. "Jean-Luc," the warm voice flowed through him. "I thought...three days." "How was I supposed to stay away from you? The Continuum kept accusing me of inattention. I have to get back there...but not right this minute." Instantly they were naked, Q's chest against the captain's bare back, and Q's hands trailed down Picard's chest, barely making contact with his skin, teasing his light adornment of hair. One hand went to his left nipple and teased it, while the other continued down to trail along the tops of his thighs. Picard spread his legs eagerly, groaning with need, as he pressed back against the hardness he felt. "My, my. You have missed me, haven't you, Mon Capitaine?" The taunt would have stung, perhaps, if it hadn't been panted out with such need and longing. "Inside me," Picard whispered brokenly, trying to move so that Q could gain entrance. "Hurry." The last word was hardly finished before Q had them whipped around so that Picard's hand's were braced against the desk, his legs spread, his back arched. Lubrication, then a firm spreading of his buttocks by Q's hands, and then -- "Aaaah, YES!" Picard shouted, throwing his head back and gripping the desk even more tightly as pleasure pulsed through him. Wave after wave of it, and he wanted more still, spreading open and thrusting back, his lower lip almost cut through with his teeth, his knees locked but shaking, riding and being ridden. He tried to breathe through it, survive it, keep it from ending too soon, a starving man at a feast, overwhelmed with the concentrated sensation of Q inside him, thrusting deep into his body and touching something even deeper that no one else had ever touched. Q tried to speak, though he wasn't sure what he wanted to say except that he loved this, loved him, loved himself, even, when he was with Jean-Luc. But he felt the end coming towards them both and hurried it, sliding a slick hand around Picard's cock and stroking them both into the wave of white light. Together they tumbled to the floor, panting, almost unconscious, Q's arms around Picard as the captain turned to embrace his lover. "I'm sorry," Q told him, valiantly trying to put a dry note in his voice. He felt the angry summons of the Continuum. Nothing else could have taken him from this place. "But I must get back to work." "Will you get in trouble for this? Are you in trouble because of me?" Picard's genuine concern melted the expression Q was trying to form, and in surrender he pulled Picard in for a deep, hot, searching kiss. "I love you," he murmured into the man's mouth, then disappeared. When Picard stood up again, some minutes later, somewhat sore but tidy in his fresh uniform, he found another note on his desk. We'll talk all you like when I get back. We'll even have The Talk, if you like. And Picard tucked the note inside his tunic before he went outside to toss a casual "Goodnight" at Data before reaching the turbolift and calling out his deck. ata," Riker noted with surprised pleasure. "And Geordi," he continued, looking past the android to his friend as they stood outside the door to his quarters. He backed up a step and gestured them inside, trying not to look too puzzled by their downcast eyes and stiff body language. "I wonder if we might speak with you, Commander," Data said. "You can call me Will off duty, you know, Data," Riker commented, then got into the spirit of it and asked them if they'd like something to drink. "I could do with some whiskey," LaForge shocked him by saying. "But it had better wait." "This sounds serious." They sat at a sort of imperiously unspoken command before Riker watched the two others stare at their hands. "Will," Data said, "I believe I have discovered the identity of the captain's...lover, and it may have unsettling implications for the safety of the ship, sir." Riker welcomed the shift back into formality as he felt his spine stiffen. Turning to LaForge with raised eyebrows, he saw only a mirror of Data's pinched expression. "And just why is that?" he asked. eanna put the drink down heavily on the table, drawing stares in the ship's lounge she had no time to return. Twirling towards the door, she took the distance between herself and it at a dead run. Once out of the room she keyed her combadge. "Troi to Crusher." "Crusher here." "Meet me in Riker's quarters, Beverly. Now!" Beverly kept her hands away from her medkit as she turned to rush towards the door. The use of her first name had clued her in on why Deanna wanted her to hurry, and she fought both concern and giggles as she made her way to the turbolift. don't believe it!" Riker was shouting, not for the first time, when Troi made it through the doors of his quarters. "Will..." she began, but then recoiled as he wheeled around to glare at her. "Tell me this is a joke, or a lie, or some sort of mass hysteria!" "Will, it's more than you think..." "Q?" Riker's expression grew more comically horrified as he pronounced the name, and Troi was reminded of the old Earth expression "He's got cooties." "Think of how happy the captain has been lately," Beverly put in, using her quiet voice. Riker turned his gaze of horror to her. "Beverly! You of all people shouldn't want --" "What, Will? Shouldn't want him to be happy? You heard about my future with Jean-Luc, what happened with us. Do you think that prospect of failure has drawn us closer to each other?" "We're talking about the...thing who put us all on trial for the crimes of Humanity! Who tried to tempt me to join the Continuum, who --" "Who saved the captain's life, who helped him get out of the Continuum's test which could have destroyed the Human race, who gave Amanda the choice between being Q and living as a Human." "Beverly!" "Calm down, Will. If it's what the captain wants...how could you want anything else for him?" "But..." Riker looked around at the set expressions which regarded him and collapsed into the nearest chair. "You're all insane," he muttered. But Troi knew that special tone lurking behind Will's protests, and smiled. Crouching down next to him, she lightly touched his hand. "Including you, Will?" Riker glared at her. "Before you knew it was Q, how did you feel about the captain's secret companion?" A moment passed in silence while Riker felt them all urging him towards acceptance. Finally, he managed, "Grateful." Troi smiled. "And before this, have you ever had cause to doubt the captain's judgment?" "You know the answer to that." "Then somehow we'll have to face this, accept that Q is doing this for him." Riker shook his head at her, but his expression was asking for something. She sighed, looking around at them all. "When he first appeared, weeks ago, his guard dropped for a second." Her face began to shine slightly with the memory. "I knew how he felt about the captain, and, since then, I've known about how the captain feels for him." She allowed herself a deep smile. "But we're talking about Q..." Riker put his head in his hands, elbows on his knees, and tried to wrestle the thought into submission. A dozen images of the captain's calm happiness flashed through his mind, and he felt something he'd thought was invincible start to crumble inside him. If Q did that for Jean-Luc... He looked up to see them all staring at him and scowled. "You guys will have to give me some time on this." icard was sleeping when Q returned to the Enterprise-E. Materializing in his bed, the entity watched the calm face and slow rise and fall of breaths, and realized he could sit here quite happily all night. It was a disturbing thought, and he wanted to snarl at it, hurt it, hurt himself, rather than accept it. But he forced himself to sit there, cross-legged, hands curled on his thighs, and watch Picard sleep. He was going to have to get used to this concept of waiting for his lover to wake up. Perhaps there would be some peace in it. Q knew he really didn't let himself rest enough, process and ponder the events in his life enough. This could almost be like meditating. And the captain's eyes opened to glitter at him in the starlight. In a second Q had reached down and was kissing him, those warm lips responding with an expert knowledge of just what it took to make Q breathless and a little dizzy. Picard's hands were running lightly, then with more urgency over his Human body, which he had wished naked. And only then did it register: the captain hadn't been wearing his pajamas. He had been lying here, sleeping, naked, waiting for his lover... Q groaned as the wave of lust and love surged through him and in another moment he had Picard in his mouth. "Couldn't...you...at least...give me some...oooh, God, yes, oh, oh....some warning when you do...oh, please, please, please..." Q felt his whole body respond to that note of pleading and thrust a slick finger inside his lover over and over as he sucked deeply on Picard's incredible hardness. The taste on his tongue was so erotic that Q felt himself coming without a touch to his own erection. "I'm tempted to go away more often," Q drawled a few minutes later when they were clean and holding each other. He trailed a light finger over Picard's chest and felt the man shudder. "Q," Picard whispered. "Right here, my beloved." "Have you moved us out of time again?" "Not yet. Why?" With another chuckle that was half-moan, Picard turned, and Q felt something hot and wet and hard poke his thigh. Q reached for it, but the captain firmly pulled his hand away and moved to cover his lover with his body, settling his erection in the hollow of Q's hip as he began slowly and methodically moving his lips over his lover's chest. "Mmmmm," Q murmured happily as Picard kept his touch light. Once again he felt overwhelmed by the knowledge that this man wanted to make him feel good, and he relaxed fully into his Human form once again, letting go of everything for the feel of warm skin and gentle caresses. He breathed in deeply the smell of his love and exerted effort to keep his hands at his sides. He'd managed to do this before, and now he knew that he could increase both of their pleasure by... Tight pressure on his shoulders from Picard's beautiful hands was the first sign something was wrong. Then next came his partner's shuddering gasps, as he stopped everything just to make it through the next breaths. "What is it, Jean-Luc?" Q asked in alarm, bringing his arms up to hold the man's body tightly to his own. Several minutes passed before he could answer. "I can't...stand it, Q," he managed finally. "I can't stand being separated from you." Q bit his lip. This was happening far sooner than he had expected. He told himself with a most unwelcome wave of guilt that he really should have warned Picard about this before it started. But still, Picard had been experiencing sex on a Human level for all of his extremely varied and intense life. This should have been enough for him for some time to come. But this was Jean-Luc Picard, wasn't it? "I'm sorry, Jean-Luc," Q said finally as his lover began to dig his fingers painfully into Q's shoulders. "Try to relax." "Relax?" Picard's voice betrayed a little fear in his astonishment. "How can I possibly relax?" Moving as gently as he could, Q rolled them both over so that he could look down into Picard's drawn face. He kissed each of the captain's closed eyes before urging, "Look at me, Johnny." Picard seemed ready to refuse, then forced his eyes open and dragged his gaze to Q's eyes. Q could see the effort he was putting into withdrawing, and how greatly the effort was short of enough. "I told you before this isn't enough for me either," Q said carefully. "But I thought it would last for us longer than this." "What do you mean?" Q felt a wave of affection wash down him at the measured depth of the captain's voice. "I love you," he couldn't help saying, then reached down to kiss the mouth that trembled under him. Then he forced himself to get on with it. "I've been trying...very hard...but I haven't been able to keep it from...influencing you." The eyes looking up at him narrowed, but didn't frown. "I want to be closer to you, Jean-Luc. I want us to be with each other completely." "I take it..." Q marveled at the calm quality of Picard's voice. "This isn't a Human experience you're talking about anymore." Q met his eyes intensely and slowly shook his head, trying to think of Human words to explain the experience he so desperately wanted and that he knew, guiltily, Picard now wanted just as much. But then Picard surprised him once again, and the man's hands went to the back of Q's head to draw him down for a long, deep kiss. "Just get on with it," Picard murmured into his lover's mouth. "Whatever it is, just do it." Q shook at the thought that he'd forced Picard to such recklessness. "Jean-Luc..." he began to protest. "I trust you, Q," Picard said, and the entity felt himself shudder more deeply as Human tears burned his eyes. "Jean-Luc," Q breathed heavily as he closed his eyes, steadying himself. This had to go right. This had to be perfect. Just to be safe, he took them out of time and space. There would be nothing here but the two of them. When he opened his eyes he saw Picard looking up at him, smiling slightly, breath a little ragged in anticipation, and he wanted to tease him, say something to make him realize how vulnerable he was. But he didn't. He just leaned down and began the lightest of kisses against those curved lips. Picard shuddered with pleasure at the kiss and waited for the pressure to increase. But instead Q began nibbling lightly on his lower lip and the man felt something...different, something completely new and wonderful wash through him. He tried to isolate it, analyze it, like he might a new smell or taste, but he had no name for this sensation, no idea whether it were telepathic or just...something else. But even as he thought this he realized it was Q, and only Q, the inner essence of his lover, moving within him, completely inside him, conveyed with the touch of his lover's lips. It was overwhelming, loving, curious, tender, insecure, arrogant, anxious, powerful, intelligent, beautiful, sexual, delicious. It was all that he loved in Q, all that he knew was there and all that he had even remotely sensed: no thought, no memories, no simple emotion or communication -- it was simply existence, being, the whole of Q's...soul. "Show me!" Picard was gasping back. "How do I...?" And then Q's fingers went to the man's chest, stroking his nipples, that spot over his ribs, along his sides, all the sensitive areas he'd eagerly memorized. Q knew it would not be much easier to show Picard what he meant than it would have been to explain it, so he concentrated fiercely on his task, hoping Picard would realize the difference in the touches Q was giving him. He had started slowly, with as much effort as it had taken to restrain himself the first time he had entered Picard's body. Now he was using just the tips of his fingers and his lightest kisses to act as the transmitter, letting the rest of his body rest against Jean-Luc, comforting him with the warmth of his Human form. Silently, he kept urging his lover to understand and to reciprocate, but his touches were not returned and Q began to worry that... But then there were Picard's hands at last, running fingertips lightly over Q's back, seeking out Q's own sensitive places, and slowly the captain poured himself inside Q: deep love, white-hot lust, contentment, need, confusion, excitement, affection, a desire for more and more. Q laughed, and the emotion filled Picard with happiness just this side of unbearable. "I had no idea you were so needy, Jean-Luc," Q whispered, and because Q was inside Picard the captain knew how relieved the entity was at his discovery. Q was finding that Picard had a need as great as his own...and Picard was learing the same about him. But they did not spend much time or effort in these detours into details about needs, about Beverly Crusher, about the goals and directives of the Continuum, about just how far Q was allowed to interfere in the affairs of the Enterprise, about just how long Q was going to see to it that Picard lived. They were too busy in the sheer sensation of their intimacy. For the first time since they met, they were headed for something that promised complete and total satisfaction. Picard was aware only, and vaguely, of an unfulfilled physical need which his...spiritual pleasure almost completely overshadowed. But when Q trailed a light touch over his erection, Picard realized that this intercourse was a blend of both the mental and physical. He brushed his hands through Q's hair and let himself dwell with supreme indulgence on how attractive Q was to him. Unexpectedly, he found himself reveling in egotistical delight at the powers and beauty of his lover. As he reached up to nibble on Q's ear he felt down to his very core that he was the luckiest mortal alive, and when Q felt both the nibble and the pride, he poured back into Picard his own delight in the jealousy he'd had to deal with in the latest Continuum "meeting" that had parted the lovers for those three long days (minus five minutes). Murmuring in Picard's ear, he told of how his brothers and sisters wanted to know how he'd done it, how he'd managed to become so completely rejuvenated, so fresh and alive after the billions of years that had been the Q's existence. And when he'd replied truthfully that it was the mortal, not the Q, that had made it possible, they'd refused to believe it. "You are more responsible for this than you realize," Picard whispered back. "Your patience, your desire for me that was greater than your pride, than your need to make me bow down to you." Picard frowned in concentration, feeling that Q's response to his words -- though full of gratitude -- wasn't what he intended. "But it was more than that," Picard went on as his voice grew louder and huskier, strained with the effort of saying to his lover what he could barely admit to himself. "Even if you hadn't done anything for me, saved me, saved Humanity, I'd still love you. You are...irresistible, your energy, your desires, everything about you. I thought you amoral only when I didn't understand what your life was like. Now I find myself in awe of your ability to survive so long and with such lust for your existence." Q was kissing a deep, hard pattern down Picard's neck now. "I can't pretend everything about you makes me comfortable, but I don't want to be comfortable. You're an endless challenge, an inexhaustible source of discovery and I love you. I always will. I'll never get enough of you. I -- Q!" For suddenly, Q wasn't pressing his body against his lover anymore, but had bent down to take Picard's wet, throbbing and yet almost forgotten erection in his mouth. Remembering a wish from their first day together, Picard closed his eyes and gave himself completely to the sensation, concentrating his love, his desire, his gratitude, his lust and excitement and unspeakable joy into that place where Q was touching him. And then he came. Q hadn't expected the orgasm quite so soon, but that surprise was nothing to the shock he felt as Picard's hot liquid filled his mouth, for he'd forgotten what a quick learner Picard was. Along with the man's semen came the now concentrated essence of all that Picard was feeling, washing through the entity, filling him with the pure taste of adoration, leaving him, at long long last, absolutely and completely certain that he was loved, for himself, for nothing but what he thought and felt and was. He knew he could go forever and never treat Picard to another parlor trick, never help him with Humanity or his ship, never do anything but be with Jean-Luc, and he would be loved. And in one fluid motion, still reeling from bliss beyond anything the immortal creature had ever felt, he moved up Picard's body, gently spread and raised his beautiful legs, and thrust his physical center deep into the man's hot, tight and gorgeous body while the core of him went deeper into the center of the man's unique and priceless soul. He thrust once, twice, fifty times while Picard screamed and convulsed in ecstasy, then emptied all that he was, all that he felt, into his lover, letting Picard know he was adored no less completely, no less purely. The captain could resign his commission and go raise grapes for eternity, he could refuse to participate in any more of Q's games, his body could grow ugly and his mind weak (though Q was never ever going to allow this), and still Q would love him without reservation. And while they held each other as deeply as Q's powers allowed, as deeply as was possible, altering them both forever in the way only that sort of certainty in being adored creates, their bodies slid together with semen and sweat and tears, until they were finally, completely, wholly spent. eport, Mr. LaForge." "The lateral sensor arrays are showing a 14% increase in both response time and range, sir. So I'd say the experiment was a success." "I would tend to agree." Picard smiled at him and the chief engineer felt a full inch taller. "You and Mr. Data are to be commended on your work." "I was thinking of contacting Dr. Brahms about it. They might want to think about adding this as an option to their next design." Picard's smile was suddenly just a touch indulgent. "I'm sure that would be a good idea." He looked around the conference table with a sort of general fatherliness, content and relaxed. And why shouldn't he? Q had been gone for a few days soothing more egos at the Continuum but was due back tonight, and there was nothing currently trying to blow up the ship or otherwise piss all over his day. His people were busy with a number of worthwhile projects. They were five days away from Ghuith IV, where they'd off-load supplies for the colonists and take on two experts in warp field theory who wanted to talk to LaForge and Data. "Well, if there's nothing else..." "Actually, sir," Riker said. "There is something we'd like to discuss with you." Picard raised his eyebrows, then watched as everyone grew uncomfortable, staring at the first officer. "Sir," Riker began, a bad sign. "We are all aware that your personal life has recently...undergone a change." Picard held himself very still, berating himself for not getting to this sooner. How in the world was he going to explain... "And though we've had some difficulties with it, I can't pretend we haven't, I want you to know that I speak for the entire command staff when I say that we will make whatever adjustments are necessary, if any, to accommodate your new...situation." Picard frowned. "Of course," Riker hurried on, looking extremely uncomfortable. "In ordinary circumstances, a captain's private life is not a matter of ship concern, but considering...those involved, we just felt it was important for you to know that, despite some misgivings we might have felt...we're prepared to accept whatever special considerations...or, that is..." Troi broke in: "We're just interested in expressing our support, Captain." They know, Picard thought. They know, Q. Vividy, and though Q was still very much with the Continuum, Picard was aware of his lover's concern. Riker opened his mouth, then closed it, an action mimicked in turn by Data. The table waited for the captain to speak. "I don't know what to say," Picard offered at last. "Except that you should perhaps get used to seeing him around." This drew an unexpected chuckle from the table, and Picard was aware yet again of how extraordinary his crew truly was. This was not at all how he had expected this conversation to go. He tried to think of something to say, but he abruptly realized they weren't looking for anything from him other than acknowledgment of how clever they had been to figure it out on their own. Well, not clever, exactly, but insightful. They knew him too well, but he had never thought they'd figure this one out. And then, because of what Q had helped him to learn about letting down his defenses, he joined in with a chuckle of his own. Far away, he felt his lover relax on his behalf. "How did you know?" he asked bluntly, confident that Deanna had nothing to do with it. He was then treated with a synopsis of the mental machinations of the past few weeks. He nodded, then spread his hands. "I will entertain questions." They seemed surprised by this. "Will Q be interfering with the ship's operations?" Data asked. "No." "But he'll be keeping you perfectly healthy?" Beverly asked. "Yes." "Is this all right with the Continuum?" from Deanna. "Yes." A slight smile was noticed but not remarked upon. "Will he be participating in ship's functions?" Riker wanted to know. "Hmmm. Perhaps, as much as any civilian spouse might." Thirty seconds later Riker was the first speak. "Should I prepare quarters for him?" It was only half a joke. "I'll ask. But I doubt it." "Is there...anything you'd like us to do to prepare for Q's...involvement with the ship?" Geordi asked. The captain rubbed his bottom lip between forefinger and thumb a moment, then offered a half-shrug. "Patience, Geordi, will doubtlessly be required. But if there ever is an actual problem, you are to bring it immediately to my attention." They nodded, then Beverly stood and crossed the room to offer him a hug. The rest of them settled for meaningful nods. And then alpha shift continued. , listening intently as he momentarily screened out the continued whining of his fellow Q, recognized as much as the captain did the effort Picard's command crew had put into that conversation, though he knew none of them except the empath was ready to believe his intentions were completely benevolent. But that didn't mean that he was willing to tamp down his gratitude. Selfishly, he gave in to his desire to make Picard's little soldiers a bit happier in their tedium, uncaring that they wouldn't take his gifts if they knew where they came from. So when Deanna averted a war by somehow sensing that the Ferengi ambassador was sincere in his offer of medical assistance to G'Tlast II; when Geordi had a brainstorm about reshaping dilithium crystals that eventually won him the Zephram Cochrane Award; when Data found that with a few adjustments his emotion chip worked better than ever; when Beverly discovered a treatment for the Terrellian Plague; and when Will finally began to realize that it was time for him to stop being such a wimp about his feelings for Deanna, not a single one of them thought about Q. But it was only fair. Q didn't think much about them either, completely consumed, quite joyfully, in thinking about the happiness and well-being of one no-longer-quite-mortal being who was, by a miracle, quite consumed in thinking about him as well. --- The End Picard and Q will return in "You Only Live Q"