The BLTS Archive - A Journal on the Way to Babel by Laura Jacquez Valentine (jacquez@dementia.org) --- Disclaimer: Paramount owns everything except the actual words of this story. In fact, I hear Paramount just struck a deal with God. --- I don't know if I can tell Sarek. He has just come so close to accepting Spock again. If he becomes convinced that Spock has remained in Starfleet for emotional reasons--I can't bear a silence again. Sarek was sleeping in the back room of the Sickbay, where McCoy thought he would have peace and quiet to recover from the surgery. I thought I could leave him for a time and have a chance to talk to Spock. What I saw as I looked through the doorway brought me up short. My son had shed that hideous jumper they make patients wear. He was all in black, uniform pants and undershirt, barefoot, standing next to Captain Kirk. I thought the captain was asleep, and Spock must have thought so too, because he reached out and laid a hand on Kirk's shoulder. I watched those slim fingers tighten, and my heart ached within me. "He's my first officer, and my friend," Kirk had said to me. And Spock...Spock loves his captain beyond reason, beyond life. I know Vulcans well enough to know how they show love. I had seen the same expression on Sarek's face a thousand times. Spock loosened his fingers and started to turn away. He never finished the motion. Kirk's hand trapped his. "You'll have to say it sometime, you know." Spock's voice was harsher than usual when he finally replied. "I know." "The others..." "The others are nothing. You must have deduced that." "So say it, Spock." "No." "Why not?" "*Her*" "I don't understand." "The others--your others, not mine--have never asked what I would ask, Jim. I am as harsh a master as she is a mistress. You would not survive two of us." My son freed his hand from the captain's and disappeared into McCoy's office. Kirk turned his head to the side. I watched tears slide down his face, and I thought I heard him whisper, "Damn you, my lady, damn you." --- The End