The BLTS Archive- Tears in The Rain
Two: A Moment in Time II
by Laura Jacquez Valentine (jacquez@dementia.org)

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Paramount owns Star Trek. I own a computer, a couch, and a couple of
kittycats.  Also three rats and a Persian rug.

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I could feel his anger.  I tried to buy time by fiddling with my
stylus and padd--and he caught my hand.  My hand, shaking as it had
been shaking for two days, out of control as I was out of control.

No, I wanted to scream.  Jim, don't touch me, please, if you touch me
I am lost.  Take your hand away before I lose it, Jim, please don't
touch me.

I could have said those things, but I did not.  I could have kept
control for just a few more seconds--I think I could have, I hope I
could have--but I did not.

I should have known that I could not trust myself with humans.  They
are too fascinating, too enticing for their own good, or for mine. 

I should have known that it would be a human who would be my undoing.

I felt my control go and my mind rip into his, flooding him, forcing
his heart to beat faster, his pupils to dilate--

We parted.  And he was parted from me, and never parted--

What have I done?  What shall I do?

I shall tell him the truth about my condition, at the least.  As one
bonded to a Vulcan, he now has a right to know.  Even if he shall
never need to use that knowledge.

I hope she-who-will-be-my-wife will understand.  I hope she will
forgive me, because of our long friendship.  I would not wish to lose
her friendship through my lack of control.

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The End