The BLTS Archive- In Your Shadow
by T'Thrill (TThrill1216@aol.com)

---

Acknowledgement:  I have to say that Marcee has been a Godsend for
this story.  Without her input, you would not have the interesting
read that I hope this story presents.  I had the basic idea, but,
until her contribution, I could not get a feel for these characters
together emotionally.  She has put her own story on the back burner
more than once to help with this one.  On many nights, there have been
email sessions where the "what if's" were flying back and forth.
Thanks so much, Marcee, for all of your valuable help.

Warning: This story contains adult themes and m/f sex with m/m sex
implied. If you are not interested in such things, or are under
eighteen years of age, please find your entertainment elsewhere.

Disclaimer: Copyright September 2000 by T'Thrill. This story is an
original work of amateur fiction based on the Star Trek universe
created by and solely owned by Paramount, Viacom, and all of its
entities. I make no financial gain from this work of amateur fiction
what so ever.

Archive: Ensign-Fuh-Q-Fest, ASCEML, COCO_SSD and BLTS provided that
all header information is included. Please archive complete text only.
All others, please ask first by contacting me at Tthrill1216@aol.com.
Thanks in advance.

Comments: Feedback is always welcome either through the newsgroup or a
private email.

---

Pavel took a deep breath as he approached the door of the old, worn,
stately building.  He had thought himself ready to accept this
assignment, now he wasn't so sure.  It had been a long time since he
had entered this arena and the last time had been as a student, not an
instructor.  The path that brought him back to these doors was not an
easy one.  He hoped it would prove to be a new beginning.  The last
months spent in his homeland of Russia had done nothing to quell the
restlessness of his spirit.  Always searching for something, always
feeling as if it was just outside of his reach, but never actually
finding what it was that would grant him peace.

After the V'ger mission, the Enterprise had been officially reassigned
to the command of James Kirk for an undetermined length of time.  It
was felt since there were no time limitations placed on this second
mission, it left the brass at Starfleet able to recall Kirk at any
time.  However, with the outstanding success of the first mission and
the fact that he certainly saved the Earth from V'ger, Starfleet was
enjoying welcomed recognition throughout the Federation compliments of
James T. Kirk.  But there were still those who found his accolades
threatening and continuously called for his ouster.  His celebrity was
threatening to those who had never found greatness and they hoped to
rein him in at any given time.  This small but vocal minority of the
brass complained loud and long about his methods and called for his
return to Earth, and to a desk, where he could be controlled.

As always, Jim Kirk proved himself to be as brilliant and as
precocious as ever.  Kirk and the crew of the Enterprise kept racking
up achievement after achievement.  Pavel was the Chief of Security
during the time of the Enterprise's refit, and had stayed on in this
capacity for almost three years following the V'ger encounter.   Then
there came a time that he no longer desired to remain on the
Enterprise and had requested a transfer.  He moved on to several
ships, each time taking the skills and knowledge he had honed on her,
to the others in the fleet.  He became the one who would move in, take
over, cut out any dead weight, reorganize, train and place the most
capable individuals in the positions needed, then move on.  He liked
it that way.  There was never enough time to form friendships or
relationships.  Those who served under him were too intimidated to
attempt to get close.

But after four years of that, he grew tired of waking up and not
knowing what ship he was on at the time.  He needed more.  More of
what, he did not know.  Russia held no answers for him.  At the end of
his six-month leave, he had received word that there would be a
position available as an instructor at Starfleet.  But this was not to
be a typical teaching job.  He was offered the opportunity to teach a
select group of cadets in highly advanced navigation systems.  When
compared to the other possibilities, this seemed the most interesting.

Now his doubts were catching up to him.  He had been called upon many
times during these last years to speak to various groups.  It was
expected that the crew of the most celebrated voyage, here to date,
would lecture, but this was different.  He would be challenged by the
crème de la crème that Starfleet Academy had to offer. 

Another deep breath, a smoothing of his uniform shirt with a tug at
the bottom to make sure it lay correctly, he grabbed the cold, worn,
metal bar and pulled it open.  He felt the heavy door swing toward
him.  The smell that radiated from the building was a mixture of worn
carpet, electronic circuitry, old fabric, new manuals, old print,
leather and knowledge.  The scent was one that transported him back to
his first days in this same place.  A young plebe, lost and alone,
excited and scared, a dream finally realized, but knowing full well
that he might not have what it takes to achieve those dreams.  Fear of
failure tempered only by the tiniest glimmer of expectation to
succeed.  The feelings were those of being small and insignificant,
unworthiness in its greatest form.

Now he was here, as one who they would strive to be.  Succeed he had.
Graduating top in his class, serving as an officer on the mission that
had surpassed all that the upper echelons at Starfleet had envisioned.
He had served shoulder to shoulder to the one man who had become the
personification of Starfleet Captains, sharing the risks, the
adventures, the hardships, the rewards, and so much more.  Those
memories were the hardest, and most unexpected.

What they had had together was in the past.  They had both known that
it could not be forever, but that had not made the decision to
separate any easier.  The golden man who had shared his soul, and his
bed, had gone to the other one, the logical one, the one who had stood
beside him all of those years.  He had wished them well and moved on.
He knew it was far in the past, but this feeling of reminiscing seemed
to cause it all to be recalled clearly.  He felt faintly light-headed
as the memories of all that had passed since he last entered this
place flashed through his mind.  He thought briefly that this must be
what those that have their lives flash before them at a time of
imminent death must speak of.  He was amazed at the power of the
emotions that flooded him, all spurred by the aromas radiating from
this place of his youth.

There were eighteen of them seated in the first two rows of the large
lecture hall.  At his first greeting, Chekov felt his voice
reverberate off of the old walls and slam back into him.  He continued
with the introduction, trying to moderate his tone to match the
acoustics of the room.  He began to explain the objectives that he
wanted them to accomplish over these next months.  He met each face
until he came to that one face staring back at him.  The eyes held
none of the excitement and awe that he saw as the others looked back
at him, but neither was there coldness.   No, certainly not coldness.
But there was something there.  He had never laid eyes on her before
but it was as if he knew her.  He knew her name, Saavik.  It had
appeared on the roster of cadets recommended for this class,
therefore, he had been prepared to have a Vulcan student in
attendance.  He had not expected to be so thoroughly mesmerized by
her.  As he continued, he had to remind himself that there were
seventeen others in attendance. Otherwise, he would have found himself
speaking only to her, and reveling in the velvet-over-diamonds voice
that responded to him. 

Over the next months, they explored the absolutes, abstracts,
hypotheses and contradictions that would make these eighteen into the
best that the corps had to offer.  They would have the capability and
knowledge needed to navigate any field known to the Federation, as
well as pilot any vessel.  Each day, Pavel found himself racing to the
hall, anticipating her arrival.  On the occasions that she would say
his name, it felt as if a feather stroked his spine.  The shiver that
that beautiful sound made was something that he knew he had not felt
for years, if ever.  Even, he had to admit--with Jim.  Most days she
would stay late and pull everything he knew about the current topic
from him.  Her thirst for knowledge was astounding, almost as
astounding as her capability to understand the most intricate of
concepts.

He felt himself drawing closer to her as the room cleared.  This was
Pavel's favorite part of the class--when he could be with her
one-on-one, in the privacy of the big hall.  He noticed everything
about her.  How her long, delicate, fingers reflexively traced the
edge of her padd as she asked a question.  How her eyes sparked
whenever he would catch her looking at him.  How an eyebrow would
notch ever so slightly, with just a trace of mischief, whenever he
tried to say something humorous.  He found himself fascinated by her,
wanting to learn more about her than navigation and science.  Where
did she come from?  How did she get such beautiful eyes?  Where did
she go after her classes were done for the day?  He always saw her
alone.  Did she have any friends?  Was she just as lonely as he was?
Did she need someone in her life as much as he did in his?   In his
youth he had been accused of a certain amount of shyness.  However,
Pavel had not considered himself shy in many years, until now.  Oh, if
only he could call up the nerve to ask her for lunch.  Or maybe
dinner?

Then the day came when her chair was empty.  Another of the eighteen
advised him that she had been injured on a weekend trip.  She was in
the infirmary and there was a rumor that she was not doing well.
Evidently, it was the result of a bite from some animal that she had
encountered.  Nothing else was being released.  No one knew the
details.  None called her friend.  She did not allow anyone that
close.   

Pavel proceeded with the class, but was on autopilot.  His mind was in
one place, and that was the building across campus where she lay.  He
found his eyes straying to that empty chair, and his heart ached with
not knowing what was happening to her. Wondering if she was alone. If
she needed someone to stay beside her. Well, maybe Vulcans have no
need for comforting when ill or injured, but he just had to find out
if she was all right. He couldn't stand the thought of her being alone
in a big hospital--sick and friendless.

He knew where he was going as soon as the class was over.   Although
earlier than usual, he dismissed the students.  Within moments he was
entering the most modern of all of the buildings on the campus.  This
was the campus infirmary, but was also one of the most prestigious
medical centers on Earth.  The research that went on inside was the
most advanced of any in North America.  Only the Scientific Research
Center at Leningrad could claim a larger facility--a fact that Pavel
did not mind pointing out to any that would listen, whenever the
subject came up.

A plus to having your face appear in news vids for a variety of
reasons over the last fifteen years, including serving in Starfleet
Security, was that no one questioned your authority to enter even the
most restricted areas.  He was directed to her room without question.
Peering through a glass panel, he saw her lying on the biobed.  Her
face was ashen.  The hair that was usually held securely was now
falling around the pillow.  The monitors flickered constantly as they
were scanning each biological function.  He stood and watched as a
tech adjusted the settings.  The tech spoke to Saavik, and Pavel was
relieved to see the lips move in response.  The eyes were still
closed, but she was responsive, that much was obvious.   The tech saw
him standing at the window and spoke again to her.  Saavik rolled her
head slightly, opened her eyes, and moved her lips.  Her head fell
back to the position that it had been in.

The woman who had been attending her came to the door and opened it.
"She says that she wishes to see you.  I can allow only a brief visit.
She needs rest."

"Thank you," Chekov responded gratefully.  He walked around the
barrier and approached the side of her bed.

"Saavik?"  He called softly, not wanting to disturb her.

"Lieutenant Chekov," she whispered.  "I apologize for not being in
class today…"

"Saavik, it is OK.  I am not here about class.  I was worried about
you.  How are you doing?"

"I am healing satisfactorily."

"What happened?"

"An unfortunate encounter with a venomous pit-viper while on a camping
trip with my uncle."

Only then did he notice the swollen arm and the hand enclosed in a
stasis pack.  "You were bitten by a snake!?"

"Yes, but it is not life threatening.  Merely uncomfortable."

The tech put her head inside of the door.  "You must leave now.  She
has been given a sedative and needs to sleep."

Pavel nodded, and turned back to the woman on the bed.  She looked so
young, so small, lying there.  He wanted to smooth her hair and stay
here with her, but it was not his place.  "May I come back to see
you?"

She turned to look at him.  As if examining his face for the reason,
she gave just a hint of a smile.  To Pavel, it was as if the warmth of
the sun had overtaken him.  He had never seen a sight that had touched
him so deeply.  "Yes, I would be honored if it is not an
inconvenience."

He couldn't help himself.  His hand went to the mane of hair that
flowed off of the pillow.  He lightly stroked the hair once.  "It
would certainly not be an inconvenience," he responded and smiled at
her.  "You sleep.  I will see you tomorrow."

She nodded very slightly and closed her eyes.  Before he could leave
the room, she was asleep.

---

After class the next day, he went back to the hospital.  This time,
although still lying down, she looked much better than she had the
previous day.  When he walked into her room, she turned to see who was
coming through the door.  When she saw him, her eyes seemed to open a
little wider and brighten.  "Lieutenant Chekov, it is pleasant to see
you."

Pavel couldn't help but grin at the face he had come to adore.  "You
are looking much better today.  How are you feeling?"

"I am much improved.  Thank you for your concern."

"I thought about bringing you some flowers, but I wasn't sure that
they were allowed in here."

Saavik blinked, then studied his face closely as if looking for a clue
to an extremely illogical suggestion.  "Flowers?  What would be the
significance of bringing peddled vegetation to a hospital room?"

"Hasn't anyone ever given you flowers before?"  When a blank stare
answered his question, he continued.  "It is a Terran custom that
humans do.  Flowers are given to those we care about for all sorts of
occasions."

"An interesting custom.  Explain this custom of giving flowers,
further."

Pavel indicated the chair beside the bed.  "May I?"

"Please do."

Pavel sat down and began to explain.  "We give bouquets of flowers to
a friend, lover, mother, sister, anyone who is special to us.  We give
them for all kinds of reasons, such as birthdays, anniversaries,
holidays, and if someone is not feeling well or just needs cheering
up."

"Most illogical."

"Why?"

"To kill one species of life in an attempt to make someone feel good
is not logical."

Chekov had to steel himself against the grin that threatened to
overtake him.  "They are meant for this purpose.  There are people who
make a living by growing flowers, and others who make a living from
selling them.  If we did not buy them for those we want to make happy,
then the growers would go out of business, the vendors would go out of
business, and their families would suffer.  Now, it is logical that we
support these people so they can support their families, is it not?
Besides, it is a tradition that began in Russia!"

"Other than not understanding the significance of where this tradition
began, I see your point.  That is very interesting."  She stopped and
looked at him.  Her eyes seemed to flash beneath the fringe of the
dark lashes.  "But which am I?"

"Excuse me?"

"You said that they are purchased for friends, lovers, mothers,
sisters and those who are special.  Obviously I am not a mother or a
sister, so which am I?"

Pavel watched her face.  If he didn't know better, he would think she
was teasing him.  Well, he thought, not a lover. His face blushed at
the thought, and was surprised how a warm feeling came over him all of
a sudden. His eyes fell to the bottom of the bed, he knew his face was
giving him away.  Recovering, he realized Saavik was waiting for an
answer. What was the most benign thing to say?

 Finally, he drew his eyes back to hers and answered, "A friend, I
hope."

"A friend, then.  That is pleasing to me, Lieutenant."

"My friends call me Pavel."

"Pavel.  It is a strong name.  It, also, pleases me, Pavel."

There it was, that hint of a smile.  It was a beautiful thing to see.
He looked down at the swollen arm.  He hated to think of her in pain.
"Does it hurt?"

"No, not like it did before."

"How did it happen?  We do not have many pit-vipers in this area."

"Some time ago, I confided in my uncle that I longed for the hot
dryness of Vulcan.  He located a desert property in the region known
as New Mexico and took me there on a camping trip.  He had warned me
of the indigenous species, however I did not heed his warnings, at
least, not as carefully as I should have.  I placed my fingers inside
a small cavernous opening located within a rocky area for support, and
encountered one of the species known as a rattlesnake."

"Eeh!" Pavel shuttered.  "How did you get here?"

"He heard the sound that the animal makes, and had called for me to
stand still.  However, it was too late.  He carried me back to the
land rover and had us beamed here.  It seems that Vulcan's are
particularly sensitive to that specific venom.  Within the same
timeframe, a treatment of anti-venom would neutralize the poison in a
human, but with a Vulcans rapid heartbeat, it is carried quicker
throughout the body.  Therefore, I am here instead of where I should
be.  It would be my preference to be able to continue with my studies.
I do not wish to fall behind and I wish to be back in class as soon as
possible."  Her frustration with the situation was obvious.  Pavel had
to fight to suppress a smile.  For a Vulcan, this one let her emotions
show too quickly.  It seemed to be a constant, internal battle to keep
that fiery nature in check.  He loved watching the internal struggle
and prayed that the emotional side would win out.

Unable to suppress all of the adoration that he felt for her, he said,
"I have seen your transcript.  I do not think staying here a few days
will do anything to damage scores like that."  She was not the top
student in her class, but dammed close to it.  Pavel was glad that she
wasn't around when he had been coming through.  He wasn't sure he
could have competed with either Saavik or the other two who were
slightly ahead of her.

"Even in your class?  You are quite the taskmaster."  And the smile
that had a way of knocking him completely off balance, touched her
lips again.

"I'm not so bad!" He feigned innocence.  He was tough and he knew it.
But she could take all he could throw at her and come back for more.
"Besides, you have all of the credits you need to pass.  And, I will
be glad to help you get caught up on anything that you have missed."
Again he felt the heat in his face.  'DAMN!' he thought to himself, 'I
have got to stop this every time I think of us outside the classroom!'

That evening, he could think of nothing other than being at her side.
For months he had looked forward to seeing her daily, to catch a brief
scent of her hair, or hear her voice.  This had gone far beyond what a
teacher- student relationship should be.  Not physically, but
certainly in what he desired.  However, he resolved, there had been
nothing between them physically this term, and the term only had
another week.  She had fulfilled all requirements that he had set
forth at the beginning of the course to pass with flying colors.  So,
technically, she was no longer his student.  He also knew that he
better be dammed sure that this was something he could be committed to
before he started anything.  Remembering the soft smile, he knew that
this was not something he wanted for only a short while, only an
eternity would do.

The next day, he presented her with a small bouquet of violets and
miniature roses.   He watched her expression transform from mild
curiosity to shy pleasure.  It seemed the appeal of flowers was truly
universal.  Over the next three days, he visited often.  On each
occasion, he would bring her a small bunch of flowers, each one
representing different varieties.  They discussed the Academy, her
courses, and various other topics related to service in the Fleet.
She would ask him to explain anything that she had missed. 

One afternoon he came in to find her sitting up in the bed.

"Saavik!  It's good to see you up.  You look much better."

"I feel much improved.  I would like to go home, but they say it will
be a minimum of one day and perhaps two before they will remove the
stasis bag from my hand.  It seems that they are being much too
cautious."

"Our Chief Medical Officer on the Enterprise would always err on the
side of caution.  I learned that, although extremely frustrating, he
was usually right."

"We always talk about me and my studies.  Tell me more about you.  I
want to hear about your missions.  Tell me about the encounter with
the probe known as V'ger.  I need to think about things other than
sitting in this room."

He smiled, looking down into her beautiful face. Yes, he wanted to
tell her his whole life story, wanted her to know who he was.  Tell
her his deepest secrets.  Well, most of his secrets, anyway.  He began
to tell her about the V'ger mission, that is, all that he could
discuss that was not classified.  There was an easy camaraderie
forming between them that felt very right.

He told her about Captain Kirk taking over the command chair. How he
felt that same thrill as when he served on the Enterprise before. How
he admired Captain Will Decker, but knew that their chances of
surviving the mission had vastly improved when Captain Kirk assumed
the center seat. Then, how they found themselves in the middle of a
wormhole.  "It was the timely arrival of the former First Officer,
Commander Spock, that solved the fuel ratio problem.  Without him, I
think we would still be up there!  Do you know Commander Spock?"

"We have met."

"He's a hell of an officer.  Of course, he is with the Academy now, as
well.  Head of the Science Department and will be working with the
cadets on their final training.  Have you had him for any classes?"

"No, I have not.  I will be under his guidance next term.  That is
when I will be taking Command training."

"You think I'm tough?  Wait until you have him.  I have to say, the
time I spent with him at the Science Station, taught me more than in
any class I ever took at the Academy.  He and the Captain would get me
in a conference room and quiz me on the most intricate of details.
They really kept me on my toes, although, I must say, neither is very
interested in Russian inventions.  They both have an unerring desire
to prove me wrong."  His chuckle was confirmation that he had not
minded their methods.  It felt good to think of them and no longer
feel acrimony start to well up inside of him. 

"You seem to hold both in high regard.  Are you still in contact with
them?"

"I do admire them--both--and all that they have accomplished."  He
paused, "Actually, I haven't seen either of them since I left the
Enterprise.  Our careers veered onto different paths.  However, I
understand that they are now stationed back here in San Francisco.  I
have not had the opportunity to see them since I returned.  Maybe,
someday, we will meet again."  He had no idea how to approach
questions about Jim.  It had taken so long to resolve the fact that
what he and Jim had together, was over.  Then, he had spent years
going from ship-to-ship hoping the memories would not catch up to him.
But now it seemed that it did not matter as much as it had four years
ago, and for the first time he found he could accept the idea of them
together, and acknowledge how very important both of these men had
been to him.   It was the first time that the bitterness was gone and
the thought of them did not disturb him.  Anticipation, it seemed, was
a kind healer of wounds

---

He noticed Saavik, once again, flipping the hair away from her face.
Her free hand seemed to be in a constant battle with the stray strands
that seemed insistent on falling out of place.   "Can I get you a
clasp to keep that out of your eyes?"

"I am afraid that I do not have anything.  I seem to have lost the
fastener that I had used to hold it back on the trip.  My father and
uncle have come each evening and brought some of my personal items,
but nothing of that sort.  I do not wish to bother them about
something so trivial.  I have already caused them a great deal of time
away from their duties."

"Would you like for me to see what I can do?"

"If you could hand me the brush in the drawer, it may help, although
not for long."

He reached into the drawer and pulled out a brush.  He went to the
other side of the bed, the side with her good hand, and gave it to
her.  She seemed to struggle to run it through the long hair with only
one hand.  He reached for the brush.  "Here, let me help you."

"You do not mind?"

Pavel smiled and shook his head, "After my parents died, I went to
live with an aunt and uncle in Moscow.  They had two small daughters,
both with very unmanageable hair.  I became quite proficient at
brushing girls hair and can even manage something close to a braid."

"If you are sure.  I do not wish to be trouble.  Especially over
something so trivial."

"You? Trouble?  Never!"  He laughed.  She scooted forward, and he sat
down behind her on the bed.  He started at the bottom and gently
worked the brush through the thick, chestnut hair.  There was just
enough curl to make it slightly unruly.  If felt like spun silk as he
brushed it back and held onto the longest part with one hand.  Someone
had washed it earlier in the day and he could still smell the shampoo
as he swept the brush down the locks.  But there was something more, a
light smell of cinnamon.   Not as in an additive to food, but as if it
were a part of her natural scent.  He breathed deeply, and moved his
head to where it was all but touching her head.  In the last years,
his ability to desire any relationship other than the occasional,
quick release, encounter, had seemed forever gone.  And, after the
intensity of the affair with Jim, he had been unsure whether he would
have been able to prefer a female to what he had had with him.
However, the scents radiating from the woman seated on the bed with
him was proving that gender was not going to be a problem.  Sitting
behind Saavik, he realized there was something so nice, so right,
about this.  They spoke little while he was attending to the thick
mane.  He began to think how wonderful it would be to bury his face in
the sweet scent and let himself go.

He pulled the hair to the back, and when he had it smooth, he began to
braid it.  This exposed her neck and he noticed the area right below
the delicate ear.  There was a slight hollow that lead down the long,
graceful neck.  He longed to bury his lips in that sweet, tender area. 
He wanted to take this small creature in his arms and protect her from
anything that could hurt her.  To kiss her, to hold her, to…

He realized his mind was running on warp speed, and his body was not
far behind.  He was at the bottom of the braid and needed something to
secure it.  He had seen a small plastic clamp in the drawer, and he
reached across the bed to retrieve it.  It was just out of reach and
he shifted his legs for a better angle, bringing a leg on either side
of her to balance himself.  He reached the drawer and was able to
snare the clip with his fingers.  He sat up and secured the bottom of
the braid with it.  The hair was thick and the clamp small, but with
some work, he was able to get it around the hair and secure it.

"There, that should keep it out of you face," he said.  He could tell
that his voice had become huskier and he was afraid he had exposed his
thoughts to her.  He knew Spock was a touch telepath, but he was
unsure about Saavik.

"That feels much better," she replied.  He expected her to move
forward so he could get up, but she did not move.  Now he was sitting
behind her, his legs straddling her, and she did not seem to mind.
Uncertain as what to do, he moved his hands to her shoulders and began
to massage the tense muscles, watching for any sign that she was not
appreciating this action.  He expected her to indicate that she wished
not to be touched in this way, but instead, she began to relax under
his hands.  She made a sound that could be only one of pleasure.  When
his hands moved further down her spine, she arched her back and
brought her head back.

"You have great strength in your hands," she purred.

"You do not mind me touching you?" he asked gently.  He relaxed his
hands on her back and stopped his massage.

"I enjoy your touch, however I do not wish you to do anything that you
find unpleasant."

"There is nothing that I have found about you that is unpleasant.  I
like touching you, Saavik."  The confession was all but whispered and
he felt her name roll off of his tongue like a caress.

"Then touch me some more."  She scooted back slightly toward him, and
her hips were now snugged within the arch between his thighs, his cock
trapped within the confines of the material.  The message was clear,
she felt the same way.  The feel of her heat against his crotch undid
him.  His groin bloomed with the feel of her against him.  His arms
went around her waist and he pulled her tight against him.

His lips found the hollow of the neck that he had admired earlier and
he kissed her there tenderly.  He felt her melt against him.  He knew
his arousal was obvious against her, but she did not move away.
Instead, he felt her press her hips and lower back against him in
slight movements.  He responded with light pressure and gently rubbed
his erection against her buttocks.  He knew he had to stop or they
were going to be dealing with more than his erection.  He moved his
lips away from her.

His inhalations were deep and breathy, and he was approaching the
point of no return.  "If I do not stop now, I am going to ravish you
right here."

"I suggest that you stop, then.  You are correct, a hospital room
would not be the appropriate place for such actions," Her voice had
grown deep, as well.  But, there was something else.  He looked around
to the side of her face and when she turned to look back at him, there
it was.  She was teasing him.

"But I am afraid that if I let you go, you will never let me hold you
like this again."  He was not teasing.

"It is my wish that you will hold me like this again.  And, in a place
that we do not have to be concerned with being observed."

He paused, drinking in the meaning of her words, and the gentle but
assured way she said it. She wished him to hold her again. He could
scarcely believe it!

 "Oh Saavik," He whispered into the delicately pointed ear. "You are
going to be my undoing."

"Your undoing?  I do not understand."

"I mean that I am falling in love with you.  I do not even know if you
can feel the same way about me."

There, he said it. He never thought he'd say those words again to
anyone--not after Jim.  But now it felt so right.  He scarcely could
breathe. Could she possibly ever love him?  He almost didn't want to
know the answer.  But it was now or never.

"I see.  In that case, you are going to be my undoing, as well."

He paused again, finding the meaning behind her words. Could she love
him? When he could find his voice, he whispered, "I hope so, I do hope
so."

Pavel kissed her neck again and moved out from behind her.  She
settled back against the bed and he sat beside her.  He ran his
fingers down her cheek.  The softness of her flesh was so different
from the one he had known these last years.  He let his eyes fall to
her body.  The soft mounds beneath the pale yellow gown were accented
by the indications of the hard nipples.  How he wanted to lean down
and take the buttons between his lips and feel them tighten within his
mouth.  Not here, but soon. 

He looked back to her face, but she was looking past him.  "Uncle
James," she stated.  "It is good to see you."

Pavel turned to see Jim Kirk standing behind him.  "Jim!…Admiral
Kirk!" Chekov whispered, almost flinching with surprise.

"Hello, Pavel."  The hazel eyes fell upon him.  There was a glimmer
that shown from them that burrowed into Pavel's soul.  It was only for
a moment, then the hazel eyes turned their attention to the patient on
the bed.   "Saavik, it is good to see you looking so well.  How are
you feeling?"

"Uncle? James!?"  Pavel looked between them.

"Yes," Jim looked to him.  "Not biologically, of course, but in every
sense of the word, Saavik is my niece."

Pavel turned to Saavik, finally able to speak, "Saavik, who is your
father?"

"I believe, Lieutenant, that term would best describe me," The deep
voice came from behind him.  It was a voice that Pavel knew well.

Pavel turned to see Spock standing in the door.  "Mr. Spock!"

"It is pleasing to see you again, Lieutenant Chekov."

"Th'Sain, it is so good of you to come!" Saavik stated.  Her pleasure
in the arrival of the two men was apparent.

"Th'Sain?" Pavel questioned.

Saavik reached for his hand.  When he felt her touch against his
fingers, he looked back to her.  "The closest translation is
'replacement father.'  I did not mean to deceive you, but I have not
shared my relationship with Admiral Kirk and Captain Spock with
anyone.  Commander Spock found me when I was young and alone.  He took
me to Vulcan and adopted me as his own.  I have been accepted into the
house of his parents and have lived there until I came here to attend
the Academy."

The words were matter-of-fact, but the eyes were not.  There was such
a mixture of emotion spilling from beneath the long lashes.  Hope,
need, fear, desire and love were all there.  And, all depending on his
acceptance of the two men in this room as her family.

Pavel looked back to Jim and Spock.  Oh God!  Of all the
possibilities, why these men?!?  The feelings were still there.  He
had been rejected by one for the other.  He felt the ache in his heart
again. The terrible pain. The loneliness. The feeling of betrayal. 
But was what had passed between the three of them important any
longer?  In this very room, not more than an hour before, he had
convinced himself that what had happened before did not matter.  For
the first time in years, Pavel finally felt like he had caught what
had been just out of his grasp.  He turned back to Saavik's hopeful
face.   Look at those eyes.  How could he deny that look?  He loved
that face.

Finally, he shrugged and answered, "It does make meeting your family
less awkward."  Looking back to the men standing on the opposite side
of the bed, he was unsure how it could be more awkward, but he had to
say something.

The unit nurse appeared at the door.  "I am sorry, Admiral, there
really should be no more than one visitor at a time, but two is the
maximum that I can allow.  I really will have to ask…"

Pavel spoke up.  "Not to worry.  I am leaving."

Turning back to Saavik, he had to say something to let her know it
would be all right.  He squeezed her hand and smiled what he hoped was
reassuringly at her.  "I have been here a long while.  I will let you
spend some time together, and I will see you tomorrow."

"Yes, tomorrow," she agreed and gently squeezed his hand in return.

He looked to them, "Admiral, Captain, it was good to see you.
Hopefully, we will be seeing more of each other."

Spock nodded almost formally and said, "Indeed."

"Pavel, it was good to see you.  Yes, soon."  Jim's eyes never left
him.

---

Chekov turned and left the room.  He kept reminding himself not to
flee, but to walk normally.  Somewhere, out of sight of the room, his
pace quickened.  His head was reeling.  Leave it to him to fall in
love with the adopted daughter of the one that had taken Jim away from
him.  It was entirely too confusing.  It sounded like Saavik had known
Jim Kirk for years.  Well, there had been several occasions when Jim
had accompanied Spock to Vulcan in these last years.  Saavik said that
Spock had adopted her when she was still a child, so this was not a
new turn of events.  How close had Jim been to her?  Was there any
chance that she knew about his relationship to Jim Kirk other than
that of commander and officer?  If he wanted this to be a lasting
relationship, he would have to tell her.  Oh, that would be an
interesting conversation!  'Saavik, I was your Uncle's lover but that
was before your Father came back and stole him away!'  No, no problem
telling her that!  What kind of reaction would she have?  What kind of
reaction would any sane person have?  He left the main entrance of the
infirmary.  He had been inside longer than he had realized.  The sun
had set and the artificial light streaming from the buildings and
streetlamps illuminated the city.

He walked outside--away from the main entrance and away from the glare
of the bright lights.  He breathed deeply, the cool air rushing into
his lungs felt good, felt real.  Right now he had more questions than
he had answers.  So much had happened today.  He had fallen in love
with her.  No, that was not today, that was the first time that she
had sat in his class and tilted her chin up and purred his name.
Today was the first time he had been able to admit that he loved her.
But now, to find out what her relationship was with Jim and Spock...
And what if things did continue for Saavik and him?  What a close
family they'd be--Jim and Spock, Pavel and Saavik.  He wasn't entirely
sure he could handle that.  He wasn't quite sure that any of them
could.  And, Spock's coolness had not gone unnoticed.

"Pavel?" The unmistakable voice came from behind him.

Pavel clamped his eyes shut for just a moment before he turned toward
the sound of the approaching figure.  "Jim."

"I am sorry.  I know this was a surprise."

"It seems that even after all of these years, you are still surprising
me."  Pavel watched him as he came near.  Why did that walk still
affect him so?

Pavel turned away, unable to watch this man any further.  "I had hoped
that my life of surprises was over.  I had hoped that I had found
someone who would not be so adept at catching me unaware."

Jim stopped beside him.  "Pavel, she has protected her relationship to
Spock and me, very carefully.  She never wanted it to become well
known.  She wanted to get here on her own merits, and not let people
think she had the old man and Uncle Jim pull strings for her."

"Anyone who took one look at her transcript would know why she is
here."

"Funny, that is exactly what I kept telling her."  Pavel heard the
easy smile in Jim's voice.

He turned back towards Jim.  "You knew that I had been coming to see
her?"

Jim nodded, "And that you have been instructing her, and that she has
been praising your teaching methods a little too much for Spock's
taste."

"Spock is not pleased with me spending time with her, is he?"

"Spock would not be pleased with anyone who was spending this much
time with her.  He is very much the doting father."  His tone grew
more serious.  "Pavel, she has developed quite a curiosity about the
years that we served together."

"And us, is she aware of what happened between us?"

"She knows that you are very special to me."  Pavel looked away, even
took a step away from the man at his side.  Why did those words ring
so false?  Was it that he truly believed that Jim never loved him?
"Pavel, does that bother you?"

Pavel didn't know how to answer that, so he remained silent.  After an
awkward moment, Jim continued.  "I don't believe she knows we were
lovers.  She is certainly aware that you served with me.  And, yes,
that I care for you."

Pavel's head snapped back towards Jim.  But as hard as he tried not
to, he could see the concern in Jim's eyes.  It was true, no matter
what had happened between them, this man did still care for him.  And,
there was no denying that he still cared about Jim.  Not in the same
way he had for all of those years, but the concern was still there.
Maybe they had found a common ground.

Jim continued, "Pavel, what went on between us was not exactly the
best kept secret.  If she doesn't know, and the two of you are seen
together often, then word will get to her.  Is there a problem with
her, or anyone, knowing about what we had together?"

Pavel shrugged and turned away.  "I don't know.  I wouldn't have
thought so, but now, with her, I just don't know."

"Do you love her?"

"I think so."

"Enough to be honest with her?"

"How can I tell her about us, when I'm not even sure what happened?  I
still have a hard time when I see the two of you together."

"I am sorry.  I wish that somehow we could have gotten through this
without anyone, especially you, getting hurt.  But we both knew that
what we had was too volatile to last.  Could you have been happy if we
continued on like we were?"

Chekov looked down, feeling his face flush. He thought it over.
Remembering the last years of their relationship made him shudder.
The pain during those last few weeks was almost as painful as the
split up itself. He had never been so lonely, so small and
inconsequential as he had been during that time. And then, just when
it seemed that they were back on track, Spock returned.  It felt as
though his heart was shattered into tiny fragments as he watched Jim
and Spock's relationship flourish before his very eyes, knowing that
his life would never be the same. He wasn't sure if he could live
through something like that again. He was locked in place, while
everyone else was moving in hyperspace in their own direction. He was
alone, so very alone. "No.  When I was with you, I found that I
couldn't move forward, and I couldn't return to the past."

"We had spent the last year trying to push each other away.  You
stayed on the Enterprise, at the officers club, or at a hotel more
than you were at the apartment.  I don't blame you.  Those two years I
spent thinking about nothing but the job.  I ignored your needs as
well as my own.  And, as much as I denied it to you, and more to
myself, I missed having Spock in my life.  It wasn't until the V'ger
situation that I remembered what it was like to feel alive.  Then,
when it was over, I couldn't ask you to come back.  What we had, what
we were to each other for those years, will always be something very
special.  But you had made it very clear that you were through.  And
then, when Spock came back, I knew that I could never let him leave
again.  I guess if we ever have a soul mate, he is mine."

"There were people hurt when he returned."

"I know.  You most of all, I think.  I am sorry, Pavel."

"I did love you."

"And I you.  If you believe nothing else, believe that."

Pavel took a deep, ragged, breath, and as he exhaled, he felt the
animosity leave his body.  If nothing else, he knew Jim was correct.
"I know.  And, Jim, as much as I hate to admit it, you're right.  We
did smother each other, didn't we?  I really have gotten over it.  It
was just seeing you, together, tonight.  I just wasn't expecting it.
Not with her.  She is so, well, she's becoming very important to me.
The last two people who I thought I would have to deal with were you
and Spock."

"She should have told you."

"She has that strong, silent, Vulcan streak about her."  Pavel
couldn't contain the small grin as he thought of her.

"Yes, she does."

"Jim, I am feeling things that I have not been able to feel in a long
time."

"I'm glad for you.  I'm glad for both of you."

"I think she feels the same.  There are times when she is very warm
and sensuous."

"I have no doubt.  Vulcan's are certainly capable of being that way
with the ones they love."

"I know she is very special to you, and to Spock."

"So are you, to us both.  Pav, you've got to believe me, both Spock
and I care a great deal about you.  We never wanted you to be hurt,
never you.  You were too important for that."  Pavel felt the hand as
it came to rest on his shoulder, felt the light touch of the
fingertips as they grazed the side of his face.

Pavel looked up at Jim, and a shiver ran through his body.  "I could
still fall into you, you know.  I still remember that first day,
standing in front of you, fresh out of the Academy, scared to death,
and then looking into your eyes.  Do you have any idea how much you
changed my life that day?"  Pavel's voice caught slightly as he drew
another breath.  "But, Jim, you have an omnipotence about you that I
cannot live under.  If I am standing beside you, I do not exist.  It
is as if you cover me with your shadow.  With you, I am safe in the
darkness, but I grew weary of having no light.  I have found that on
my own, I am a force unto myself.  Spock is the only person I know who
can stand beside you and not be hidden in your shadow.  When the two
of you are together, everyone sees you both.  You were right, you
belong together, belong to each other.  Everything is as it must be."
He looked toward the tower of the medical center.  "I hope to make a
life with the woman in that room up there.  She is the first person in
a long while who has made me want to strive to be the best I can be.
And, I like living in the light."

"Pavel, you will never have to live in anyone's shadow.  You, and
those like you, are the future of this Fleet.  Where my influence is
ending, yours is only beginning.  I envy the journey that you are
starting.  And, I know, if you allow her to stand beside you, Saavik
will be as much of a support to you as Spock has been to me.
Remember, someone to stand beside you, not behind you to prop you up,
or ahead of you to catch you, but beside you to support you, is more
important than all of the rest of it put together."

"Thank you.  I'll remember."  They stood there and just looked at each
other for a moment.  It was as if the baton was being passed between
them.  Pavel leaned over and brushed his lips against Jim's.  Jim
brought an arm up as if he was going to wrap it around Pavel, but
dropped it back to his side.  That time had passed.

Pavel moved back and watched the eyes that always had a way of
catching the light.  There seemed to be more moisture in them than
usual tonight.  "I'm going home.  It's been a long day."

Jim nodded and Pavel noticed him swallow hard.  As Pavel stepped back,
Jim said, "Just before I followed you out, I heard them tell Spock
that Saavik could go home tomorrow afternoon.  I am sure she will need
transportation.  Maybe even some place to stay where someone can watch
out for her for the next few days."

"You're suggesting I bring her home with me?"

Jim smiled. "Yes. I think that would be the best thing for her--and
for you, Pavel."

"And Spock would be comfortable with this?"

"He'll adjust."  Jim smiled and winked at him.

Pavel smiled back, almost chuckling at Jim's wink. For a moment, he
felt the thrill of having someone love him. His time with Jim was
past. But now, here was an opportunity for a new beginning. He looked
up at Jim with a broad grin.  "I will be here tomorrow."

Jim nodded.  "Good night, Pavel."

"Good night, Jim."

---

"You are certain that I will not cause you any inconvenience?"

Pavel held open the door and allowed her to enter his apartment first.
"I would not have insisted if I did not want you to be here."  He let
the door slide shut behind him and held onto the small daypack that
contained all of her belongings from the hospital.

"There are two bedrooms.  You may choose either one."  He indicated
with a nod of his head down the hall.

"Where do you sleep?  I would mean no disrespect by choosing the room
that you normally occupy."

He reached for her arm and gently turned her to face him.  "I didn't
mean that you would sleep alone in either room.  I meant that you
could choose the room across from mine, or you may share my room.  I
do not want you to feel obligated to sleep with me."

She stood there and watched his face.  "You failed to answer my
question.  Which room do you occupy?"

"The first on the right," he whispered.

"Then that is where I shall stay."

"Are you sure about this?"  He brushed his hand through the chestnut
locks, outlining one delicately pointed ear with his fingertips.

"I have never been as sure about anything."

"Before you make that type of commitment, there is something that we
need to discuss.  Something that I must tell you."

"Pavel, I am new at this, however, I do not believe I will need you to
instruct me in this situation.  I believe that you will find me
satis…"

He grabbed her gently by the shoulders.  She stopped and looked up at
him.  "Not how to make love to me, but whether or not you still wish
to after I have told you what I need to.  There are things that you
are not aware of, and I feel that I must tell you about a relationship
that I had with someone close to you."

She lowered her eyes, "Pavel, if you are going to tell me that you and
James Kirk were lovers, there is no need.  I have known this for many
years."

"He told you?"

"No, I saw this when my father returned to Vulcan."

"I don't understand."

"When my father decided to return to the ancient teachings, he came to
me.  He wanted to take his leave of me.  He explained that he was
going to enter the sacred temple at Gol.  I objected, much stronger
than one trained in the ways of Surak has a right to, but he allowed a
meld with me so that I, too, could understand his reasons.  I saw the
hopelessness in his soul.  He was pledged to one, but found that his
soul called out for another, the fair one, James.  And," She hesitated
before continuing, "I saw through my father a certain young officer,
Pavel Chekov, a young sprite full of charm and fire who had brought
light into James' life, and claimed that which my Th'Sain hungered
for.  It was a hunger that now consumed him.   He knew that to stay
would be a betrayal of all that he held dear.  He had allowed these
emotions to override his logic and they had to be purged."

Pavel nodded, understandingly, "Jim told me that if there is any such
thing as a soul mate, Spock was his."

"I believe this.  It is not logical and one cannot prove the existence
of such, but the two of them together has convinced me that it is so."

Pavel stroked her shoulder and down her arm.  For the first time, he
began to realize that Spock was not the betrayer that Pavel had made
him out to be.  There was much more that Pavel never understood.
"Spock left to keep from hurting me, from hurting us all?"

"Yes, but the pull was too strong.  What he felt for Jim transcended
all else, even the most powerful discipline that Vulcan has to offer."

"I never stopped to understand the agony that he must have gone
through.  When he appeared on the bridge of the Enterprise, he was
nothing more than a shell of the man we had known."

"He had tried to forget, but had failed.  How does one forget a part
of one's self?"

"It is too bad that they did not discover this until so late.  What
they could have been to each other all of those years.  All of those
wasted years."  There was a sad tone to his voice.  If they truly were
meant to be together, then the time he had spent with Jim had kept
them apart.  Even been responsible for Spock leaving for the years he
spent on Vulcan.  "If I had know then, if I could have understood it
then--perhaps Spock would have stayed."

"One does not regret a path that brings them to the desired
destination."

He looked into the delicate face.  Behind such softness, how could
there be such wisdom?  "Then you knew who I was when I walked into the
class.  And you do not find it objectionable that Jim and I were
involved?"

"As it is with all of us, we must travel where life takes us.  It
brings us to where we are now.  I cannot deny the fact that my
curiosity about you, about one who could hold the heart of a man like
James Kirk, first intrigued me.  But, you are so much more.  I have
felt those things about you that I suspect my father feels for Uncle
James.  It is a pleasing feeling that warms me deep inside.  Now the
time for wonder is past.  I hope we can join our hearts and our minds
and discover all there is about each other."

His lips found hers and they blended together as if made for each
other.  He knew the beating in his chest was so strong that it was
going to bruise her as he pulled her against him.  The daypack, which
he still clutched, slid from his hand and fell to the floor as he
wrapped his arms around her.  He felt the warm hands find his sides
and slide around him until they were clutching at the back of his
waist.  His lips wanted to consume her.  Her taste, her scent, her
touch was more than he could stand.  Somehow, he managed to separate
from her slightly.

"Are you sure that you are ready for this?  Are you healed enough for
this type of activity?"

"What activity would that be?  Would you please explain just what you
have in mind?"  The eyes flashed sparkles at him, the lips turned up
at the corners, and the slanted eyebrows rose into the hairline.  She
was teasing him, and he felt his body incinerate.

"I would much rather show you, but, maybe we should wait."  She was
not the only one that could tease.

"I have waited all that I intend to.  I am sure that they would have
released me days ago, if there had not been a strong representation of
the senior staff keeping vigil on my condition.  I think they were
more anxious in regard to any complications that they would be in most
situations.   It is my belief, that they chose not to release me until
I was completely healed.  But, to answer your question, yes, I am
fine.  That is, with the exception that I wish for you to take me to
that room on the right.  Immediately, Lieutenant!"

"Aye, aye, right away!"  He lifted her up and carried her into his
bedroom.  Letting her down to stand with him next to the bed, he
pulled her close again.  Finding her mouth, he pressed his body to
hers, letting her feel his arousal.  He felt the warm hands, this time
finding his face.  In his mind he saw a question, "Am I welcome to
enter?"

This voice touched parts of him that had never felt the caress of
another before.  "Yes, enter, know all that I am," he responded to her
trustingly.  He felt first his mind then his soul warm with her light.
She moved through his thoughts and delicately touched but did not
burrow into the deepest passages.  There would be time for such,
later.  He saw brief glimpses of her early life without Spock.  He
saved her, from things worse than death.  He made her belong to
someone.  Spock, Jim and Sarek and Amanda were her family.  But now
there was someone else she wanted to be a part of this circle.  She
wanted him, wanted to feel him as a part of her.

Her hands moved from his face to his waist, and then lower until they
were resting on his buttocks.  He felt warm hands pull him closer and
felt her move her pelvis against his engorged organ, snugly trapped
inside his trousers.  The pressure against him was deliciously
painful.  They both felt this through their joined minds.  She moved
against him.  He sensed how she burned for his touch and how her groin
became wet in longing for the feel of his hardness inside of her.   He
reached to the buttons on her blouse and began to undo each one.  When
it hung open, only then did he slip his hands inside the fabric and
spread it apart and off of her shoulders, letting it slide to the
floor.   Her breasts were bare and the dark, olive-tinged, nipples
tightened as the cool air, and his eyes, fell on her.  Pavel reached
for the full mounds and traced his fingers around each, lifting them
slightly, feeling the weight of each in his palms.  He rubbed his
thumbs over the already tight nipples and watched as they hardened
even more.  Pavel lowered his head and captured one between his lips
and heard her gasp as he ran his tongue around the hardness.  Moving
to the other, he wetted it with his tongue and blew softly on the damp
tip until it became rock hard.  He knew she was quite aroused when he
heard her moan in a low, guttural, sound that came from deep within
her throat.  Her skin was becoming even more warm than usual and he
knew she was ready for him to find the center of her passion.   He
moved his hand to the waist of her shorts and unfastened them.  He
slid his hands inside and cupped the soft flesh of her buttocks in his
fingers.  He eased the material across the warm flesh and down the
smooth thighs.

When her shorts slid to the floor, she slipped her feet out of them
and pressed herself against him.  His hands moved to the front of her
and swept across the small triangled thatch of silky fur, and her
breath caught with the light touch against the outermost edge of her
vaginal lips.  The tight curls were wet with her fluid and he ran a
finger gently inside of the lips and across her hard clitoris, hearing
her intake of breath at the touch.  He ran his hand across the tight
abdomen and up the path between the full mounds until his hands
contacted the proud chin.  He tilted her face to him, "You are
beautiful."

He claimed her mouth.  Her hands went to the bottom of his shirt and
pulled slightly at the bottom.  He allowed their lips to separate just
long enough for the shirt to slip over his head.  Now her tight
nipples rubbed against his bare chest.  He pulled her close, the feel
of her breasts against him was wonderful.  He felt the warm hands at
his waistband and he reached to unclasp the fastener.  Now loose, she
pushed against the material and he felt both his trousers and briefs
as they were pushed down quickly in one smooth stroke.  There was no
timidity in the action as the material was quickly pooled around his
ankles.  He kicked them off and they stood together, naked.  Her hand
went to his scrotum and cupped his balls.  Gently, she massaged them
and then brought her fingers lightly up his engorged shaft.  At her
touch, his organ throbbed in anticipation and he felt a finger spread
the first drops of his fluid around the head of his cock.

His breath quickened as he allowed her this time to explore and learn
his body.  The dark eyes turned to him.  "I am well aware of the
biological function of the physical body, however, I never believed to
find one so arousing.  You, too, are beautiful."

He reached for her and laid her gently on the bed.  He lay down beside
her and began at her neck, nibbling, sucking and licking her body.
Down across her shoulder, to each nipple until she was arching her
back and pushing up against him.  He traced a path down across the
flat abdomen and to the patch of fur.  His hand went between her
thighs and separated them.  His fingers separated the lips and exposed
the bud.  His tongue fell to the tender folds across the small mound
and he licked and sucked the mound until he felt her pushing back
against him with every stroke of his tongue.  She spread her thighs
apart to allow him full access to her.  Teasing and licking her
clitoris, he pressed one finger to the wet opening and pressed inside.
His finger slid easily into the wet heat and he pressed another inside
of her.   She bucked against him, her clit now hardened under the fold
of skin, her vagina becoming so wet.  He pulled his fingers from her
and ran his tongue to the moist opening.  Running his tongue around
the rim of the hot channel, he tasted the cinnamon, copper and honey
flavors that came from her.  He dipped his tongue inside and felt her
begin to shutter underneath him.  One last flick of his tongue across
the hard clit and he brought his body up to where he could lay against
her.

He felt her fingers as they combed through his hair and the tingle
throughout his body as the meld was flared open between them.   He
moved his hips between her spread thighs and pressed his cockhead to
the wet, hot opening.  He wrapped his arms around her, his body ached
to plunge inside of her.  "Gods, Saavik, I want to be inside of you.
I can't wait."  They felt the burning need of each other.

"Now!" she panted.  "Yes, now!"  She wrapped her ankles around his
thighs and, as he began to enter her, she pressed against him, sinking
him into her.  They moved together, he felt her hard clit as it rubbed
against him with each penetration.  Her channel gripped him as he
moved in and out of her.  His cock began to throb as the heat between
them grew.  He felt the hot walls as they began to pulsate and she
drew him further into her.  He felt her orgasm as it built from deep
within and her shudder beneath him as the contractions of her tight
heat milked his cock.  He pushed even deeper and let her spasms carry
him over.  He moaned into the chestnut hair as he came in strong
waves.

With the passing of the last wave he began to relax against her.  They
were both panting and their bodies were damp with perspiration.  He
withdrew out of her and rolled off, still holding her.  He pulled the
cover around them and they lay there, somewhere between awake and
asleep until the elongated shadows of the late afternoon gave way to
the blue-black darkness of the evening.

Becoming more alert, her head resting on his chest and the soft silk
of her hair blanketing his side, he sighed.  It was the first sound of
true contentment that he could remember hearing from himself in a very
long time.  He felt her mouth as it lapped gently at his nipple.  He
smoothed the hair away from her face and she turned her head up to
look at him.

He rolled them over and came to rest on top of her.  The artificial
light of the city was now activated and the soft glow through the
window illuminated her.  He kissed her above each eye and down the
bridge of her nose.  "Saavik, with you I feel those things that I had
assumed were never going to be awakened again.  You make me feel
alive, like I can accomplish anything.  I love you."

Her hands slid around him and caressed between his shoulders and down
to his waist.  "I believe that description would best explain what I
feel, as well.  Love.  It is such a strange concept to explain, so
illogical, but so easy to feel."

He tasted her lips over and over again, never getting enough of her
unique flavors.  He felt her thighs part so he could fit between them.
He slid his newly awakened organ into the damp moistness of her and
felt her clamp around him.  Slowly he would withdraw before plunging
back inside of her.  He watched her face with each delicious thrust as
he rubbed against her swollen clit.  Watched her as the urgency grew
with each new contact until she trembled underneath him in a crescendo
of wet, pulsating, contractions.  When he felt the first stirrings of
her explosion, he pushed deep inside of her, and let her stroke him,
again, to completion.

---

"Spock, you are very quiet this evening.  You have barely touched your
dinner."  Jim was very aware of Spock annoyance with him this evening
and the reason behind these feelings.

"I do not understand your insistence that Lieutenant Chekov be the one
to assist Saavik through her recovery."

"Spock, she has fully recovered.  She would have gone home a few days
ago had the Chief of Starfleet Operations not brought her in, and
three very high officers set up a vigil for her. No way in hell were
they going to release her until she was completely healed."

"Then I certainly see no reason for her to leave with him.  She could
have recuperated nicely here with us or in her own room at the
Academy."

"Spock, she certainly does not need or want us hovering over her.
Besides, they need time to be alone.  There's something very special
between those two.  They need time to learn each other."  Jim rose
from the table and came to stand behind Spock.  He placed his hands on
the strong shoulders and slid them down across the hard chest.  "Don't
you remember what it was like to learn each other?  To find those
special places that make you feel so good?" He bent and ran his tongue
around the pointed, delicate ear and felt the head roll back against
him.

"Jim, this is not helping.  It is only serving to remind me what they
may be doing at this moment."

"My love, I have no doubt about what they are doing.  And, I intend to
remind you just how nice it can be between those that love each
other."  He moved his hands down across the flat abdomen and to the
slight mound within the crotch of the black pants, his lips nibbling
at the place where the neck ends and the shoulder begins, a spot that
he knew drove Spock to distraction.  Massaging the semi-erect mound,
he felt it respond to his touch.   Jim moved to the front of the chair
and with very little effort, pulled Spock to his feet.  But as Jim
reached to hold him, something that Pavel had said came to mind.

"Spock?"

"Yes, Jim."

"Do you ever feel like you are standing in my shadow?"

"I must assume you are speaking metaphorically."

"Yes."

"I do not find allowing you to accept the accolades objectionable."

"But do you believe I keep those under me from being noticed?"

"Many of those who have served with you have become noticed for just
that reason.  However, because you are going to continue to pursue
this, then yes, there is a tendency for those around you to go
disregarded.  However, I must admit that I have not perceived this to
be so if we are together."

"That is exactly what Pavel said."

"Do we have to discuss Lieutenant Chekov?  The fact that he is with
Saavikom is what you were trying to get me to forget."

"Not forget, understand."  Jim reasserted his original mission of
getting Spock in bed.  "Understand just how good you feel against me,"
Jim rubbed his erection against Spock's, feeling the heat that was
beginning to radiate from the glorious crotch.  "I have to know, do
you object to Saavik's relationship with Pavel because of the history
we…I…have with him?  Or, would you feel this way toward anyone who had
caught her eye?"

"Caught her eye?"  Jim knew the meaning was plain, no matter how hard
Spock acted like the statement did not make sense.  However, Jim was
not going to let him off of the hook.

They held each other, nuzzling and nibbling between questions.  "You
know dammed well what I mean.  Well?"

"It is not an easy question.  I have all confidence in Lieutenant
Chekov.  I have known him and have respected him for many years.  On
the other hand, I am obviously aware that he is a very sensuous being.
That is not a comforting thought since it involves someone who I
consider my daughter."

Jim ran his tongue up the ridges of the ear, making sure that his warm
breaths were teasing the sensitive channel.  "Spock, my friend, my
lover, fathers have been having these same feelings since the
beginning of time."

Jim felt it when he had completely undone Spock.  The bond between
them opened and Spock's mind was no longer on what may or may not be
happening on the other side of the bay.  Jim felt the need that was
burning within his lover as Spock wrapped his arms around him and
claimed Jim's mouth, negating any possibility of further questions.
Spock's fingers moved beneath the lightweight shirt that Jim wore and
the heated fingers ran down the length of Jim's spine from just
beneath the neck to where the trousers began.  It was this touch from
Spock that caused Jim to melt into his lover.

"Spock," Jim panted, "I need you.  Make love to me, now," he gasped.

"Yes, my th'y'la, now and later, and always," Spock purred.  All else,
except the need between them, was forgotten.

"Spock," Jim panted, "you know Bones said he was going to drop by
tonight."

Spock bit gently the point where the neck and shoulder joined and then
pulled away slightly.  "Then it is your wish that I cease these
actions?"  He ground his hard erection against Jim's.

"Never mind!  He has a key, he can let himself in!"  Jim unfastened
Spock's trousers and plunged his hand inside.

---

Several weeks later, Pavel and Saavik were seated at their favorite
restaurant overlooking the bay.  The term had ended and they had spent
these weeks becoming comfortable with each other, and with Jim and
Spock.  Saavik had noticed the change in her lover's mood since this
morning.  He had gone to Starfleet headquarters and had not been the
same since returning.  This change concerned her.

"Pavel, you seem more on edge this evening than I have seen you since
we met.  Well, with the possible exception of the first day you walked
into the class."  She loved watching his dark eyes.  She loved being
with him in any capacity.  It had been so from the first moment he had
walked into the auditorium those nine months ago.  How many days had
she spent the class time thinking up plausible questions or scenarios
to ask him about after the class?  If she could not catch his
attention during those days, he would be gone quickly and it would be
the next day before she could see him.  These weeks together, as
lovers, had been all that she had dreamed they could be, and more.

He smiled at her across the glass of wine.  It was a smile that
brought the warmth of Vulcan to her inner being.  "Was my nervousness
on that first day that obvious?"

"Yes, but understandable.  However, tonight I do not understand the
reasons for this tension."

"You may in just a minute."  Pavel reached into his pocket and brought
out a small box.  "Saavik, this is a very antiquated custom, but it is
still a tradition among my family.  This ring has been in my family
for many generations, and, well…I am not doing this well.  Saavik, I
am asking you to marry me."

Her breath caught in her throat.  She wanted to reach for the tiny
box, but she did not trust her hands.  She wanted him, wanted to give
herself to him completely.  To bond with him.  But she knew if she
went to him now, he would not be getting all that he deserved in her.
She wanted him to have nothing but the best, and she would go to him
only when she could be that.  "Pavel, I feel emotions for you that I
would have considered impossible otherwise.  However, I must get
through command training before I can consider taking you as my
partner or bondmate."

As soon as the words had left her, she saw the dejected look in his
eyes.  She had not said this correctly.  She had hurt him.  She
reached for his hand and closed hers around the larger one.

"Pavel, I will give you nothing but my best.  I will come to you only
when I can give you all that you deserve.  Will you ask me again on
the evening that I have completed the Kobayashi Maru?  That is the
evening that I wish to wear this ring and announce to all that we are
to be bonded."

He looked up, the surprise and delight very evident.  "And if I ask
you then?  You will accept?"

"Is there any doubt?  If there is, then I must convince you that there
is no other who I desire.  However, this is not the place to do such
convincing."

"Eight months, right?"

"Seven months, twenty-seven days and twelve point six hours, converted
into Terran standard.  Will you meet me here then?"     

"I am afraid that will depend on where I will be at that time.  My
assignment here is completed."

She felt a chill run down her as she realized that they were to be
parted. "And where are you to be reassigned?"

"That is why I had to go to headquarters this morning.  I am being
promoted to Lieutenant Commander, and I had been offered my choice of
two assignments.  The first is a scientific mission to the outer rim.
It would be for a minimum of least three years, and probably longer.
The second is with Captain Terrell onboard the Reliant.  There is a
project that will last for no more than six months.  We will be
scouting for a suitable planet for some top-secret invention."

"Three years, or longer, or six months?  Which will you accept?"  She
attempted to keep the hope that he would choose the shorter of the two
out of her voice, but knew she was not succeeding.  It was obvious
which she was hoping he would choose.

"By accepting the position on the Reliant, they have assured me six
months, tops.  Then I could be back here, in time for your graduation,
the Kobayashi Maru, and dinner with you.  I may even be able to swing
being on the Enterprise for your training mission."

"Of course the choice is yours," Saavik said.  Her voice now displayed
only a very, Vulcan-like, dispassionate tone.  "I do not want to
influence you to accept an assignment that you would rather turn
down."  But, she knew which she hoped he would accept.  She wished to
be bonded to him as soon as possible.

Pavel nodded to her and attempted to hide his smile, but laughed out
loud instead.  "I sent Jim Kirk word today that I would report to the
Reliant.  I ship out in twenty-one hours."

"You have an evil streak, Lieutenant Commander Chekov!"

The waiter brought their entrée.  Saavik looked to him and asked that
it be packed to go.  She, also, requested a bottle of the wine.  "We
are leaving?" Chekov had contained his laughter and only a broad smile
remained.

"I have twenty-one hours with you.  I have no intention of wasting
even a second."

Twenty-point-four hours later, they stood beside the beam-up point.
The wind blew through the long brown hair that swung freely about her
shoulders.  "I will miss you.  I have never felt the separation of one
so acutely."  Her admission caught in her throat.  Not even when Spock
had departed for Gol had she felt this much anguish.  She knew it was
illogical, but she did not want Pavel away from her, not for even a
day.   Something inside told her this was going to be impossible to
bear.

"You will be too busy to miss me," Pavel said with his all too
familiar grin.  "Just remember our date."

"I will remember."

He leaned to kiss her.  She knew her eyes were showing the tears that
she had been fighting all morning to hide.  Pavel kissed first her
lips then each eye, then turned to the pad and keyed his destination.
It was all she could do to keep from jumping between him and the padd.
Anything to keep him from leaving.

He seemed to be steeling himself as well, swallowing hard and trying
to keep his own emotions in tact.  He looked into her eyes, the deep
love apparent on his face. "Till we are together again, my love."
With one last look back at Saavik, the brief wisp of the flash of a
transporter captured him.  In an instant, he was gone.

Saavik turned and looked toward the Academy.  She shook her head
quickly to clear the remnants of the tears that had been present
today.  "Seven months, twenty-six days, sixteen point-three hours." 
She turned the collar of her jacket toward her face, pulled her hair
into the quick bun that she wore on duty, and headed back toward the
campus of the Academy.  Term would start in two days and she had to
get moved in.  It was going to be an interesting seven months,
twenty-six days, sixteen point-two hours.  She looked at the bare hand
that would be adorned with the heirloom in just a few months, then
shoved her hand in the pocket of her jacket

---

The End