The BLTS Archive- Merry Christmas, Jim!
by T'Reija (Theganan@gmx.de)

---

Archive/Post: ASC, ASCEM(L), BLTS, all others please ask first.

Disclaimer: Paramount owns them, I'm just having a f*cking good time
using 'em. Harb Tanzer - who is only mentioned by name - belongs to
Diane Duane and, as everything else, is used without permission. His
liking for 20th century Earth music is made up by me. "Last
Christmas", from which I took a few lines, is by WHAM, and my very
favourite x-mas song.

Note: A little x-mas story, set after ST:TUC. I had the idea while...
guess what... removing the snow from the drive! Why not make an
annoying job more fun? Regard it as my personal present to all of
you, although it didn't turn out quite the way I wanted it to, mainly
because I didn't plan that much before writing, something I normally
do. And I was a little free with things like... <awkward pause, pulls
face> canon. Anyway: Merry Christmas!!

December 1998

---

"You know, you don't have to do that," Spock stated  matter-of-factly,
but with a hint of a smile in his eyes. His t'hy'la  had gotten up
early, put on his warm coat and went outside to remove  snow from the
drive and the pavement all around the small house in  which they had
settled after their careers in Starfleet had come to  an end. Of
course, he had tried to do it quietly... without much  success.

Surprised, former starship captain James T. Kirk turned around and
grinned, cheeks bright red from the cold. "Spock! Of course I have
to, can't just leave all the snow lie there. What if someone comes
along and falls? And when I wait till it rains it'll turn to ice."

"That's not what I meant. You could use a phaser, and the snow  would
melt away in no time." But Jim *did* look good like this,
perspiration showing on his forehead despite the temperature, his
breath condensing in the cold winter air, flushed and so adorable.

"I know. But Spock, that's the fun of it. It's easy to pull the
trigger on a phaser, but we're talking about *Christmas*. This is
part of it. At least that's what my mom always used to say. Anyway,
it's much to cold out here, for you anyway. Why don't you go inside
and start decorating the tree? You know, we're having guests
tomorrow."

Jim was so happy that all of the Enterprise's former senior  officers
would come. Sulu had been able to take leave, the Excelsior  was
currently in Earth's orbit, and Chekov's ship would arrive a few
hours later. How appropriate that the man who had come aboard as a
young greenhorn ensign so long ago should now command the Enterprise.
Uhura, who was head of Earth's communication centre and gave classes
at the Starfleet Academy, had luckily been able to persuade Scotty to
join her. Ah, Scotty... he had been reluctant to give up the
Enterprise, true, but the challenge of building up the Utopia
Planetia shipyards, designing new engines and whole new ships had
been too much to resist. And of course there was Dr. McCoy... Bones
had always called himself an "old country doctor". Now he had
returned to Georgia and opened a practice there. He would come
together with his wife, Eve. Even Janice Rand had gladly accepted the
invitation and would join Hikaru. After all, she *was* his First
Officer... "and a damn good one", as he emphasised.

Spock showed his mate an almost-but-not-quite smile and went back
inside as he'd been told. As a Vulcan, he found the low temperature
very unpleasant. Jim was so excited about this time of year,
especially Christmas. Spock had long given up the argument that
'celebrating a religious event one didn't even believe in' was
illogical. Besides, it *was*... fun.

Kirk continued to load the heavy snow on the shovel and tossed it  to
the side. As so often he reflected on his relationship with his
former first officer, so much linked with this day...

---

It was Christmas on the Enterprise. Most crewmembers were human, so
it was a major event every time. Someone had organized a real tree
for the recreation area, and Uhura and Sulu had decorated it. Even
some false snow lay on the branches.

The only one not affected by Christmas was probably Commander  Spock.
When he sat in the area nowadays, he didn't even glance in the
direction of the tree. This evening, it would be Christmas Eve, and
the pile of presents under the tree had grown rapidly in the last few
days. At some point there were so many that the next room was used as
a temporary store.

"Not in the mood to join the others?" Spock turned around to find a
grinning Captain Kirk behind him.

"Captain," he greeted the younger man with a tilt of his head. I  find
it... highly illogical to celebrate a religious event one  doesn't
believe in, and most crewmembers do not, as far as I can  tell."

"Of course. But it's more the spirit of the season than the actual
event we're celebrating. It's fun, and even you must agree that the
crew need a little relaxation at the moment. And frankly, I think you
could need some, too. Don't you have holidays like that on Vulcan?"

"No. We do not, not in this sense."

"Pity, you're missing something. You're the only one not joining  in,
you know. That's certainly your right, but it makes you excluded.  Do
me a favour? Come this evening, if only for a few minutes. You  could
call it... observation of human behaviour." Jim grinned from  ear to
ear, knowing the Vulcan's reply before the other even opened  his
mouth.

"In that case, I will... observe."

'Sure you will, Spock,' the captain thought.

---

When evening came and more and more crewmembers filed in, Kirk
started to wonder if he had changed his mind. Spock was usually on
time, and now he was nowhere to be seen.

Bing Crosby's "White Christmas" sounded from the speakers. Harb
Tanzer, the leader of the section, was a great admirer of 20th
century Earth music, so a lot of the records played were from that
time. Then Spock stood behind him, he knew without turning his head.
Somehow, he could sense the Vulcans closeness, almost instinctively.

"Captain."

"Spock," James T. Kirk answered, a little amused but also a little
annoyed. "We're here for fun. I didn't order you to come, so call me
Jim." He was surprised to find his first officer in leisure clothes,
all in black - wasn't that the colour for him? But where the hell did
that thought come from? - and he didn't even look like it was too
much of a burden.

They sat down at one of the nearby tables together with Sulu and
Chekov, who were chatting about past Christmas parties. It seemed
Christmas was just an excuse in Russia, an excuse for drinking more
Wodka than usual and having more fun with women... Sulu grinned to
himself, knowing that half of the stories weren't true and those that
were probably were quite embellished. So he quickly silenced his
partner the best way possible, by kissing him on the mouth, hard,
just when Uhura came to join them at the table, rolling her eyes at
the sight.

"You two can't get a hold of yourselves, now can you? Why, you
probably didn't even notice your captain and first officer sitting
right next to you." And, from the looks on their face, they hadn't.
The communications officer was chuckling by now, enjoying their
embarrassment enormously.

"Ah... keptin..." Chekov stammered, his Russian accent growing with
his nervousness.

"Relax, gentlemen. As I said to Mister Spock before, we're all here
for fun - obviously. you're doing just that," Jim grinned, thinking
'So that's why we've never seen either of them with women for some
time.' It seemed to have worked, for they both relaxed again.

Spock was visibly unaffected by them or anybody else around him.
Obviously, he wanted to get the evening over with to return to his
quarters, or his work (or both).

"So, Mr. Spock," Uhura said with a twinkle in her eyes, "Have you
been a good first officer this year? You know, Santa sees everything."
By then, Sulu and Chekov had moved a little closer, knees touching,
hands briefly stroking each other and parting again, grinning at
their colleague.

"This is highly improbable, Miss Uhura, as there is no such thing  as
Santa Claus." The black woman mimicked shock at this statement.  "And
if you want to know about my qualifications for my job, logic
dictates that you should ask the captain." Only Kirk saw the little
glitter in the Vulcan's eyes. In the last few years, he'd come to
know this man, and knew, that he was far from detached and humourless
as most tended to believe.

"So, /Captain Kirk/," she continued, deliberately using his title
although they called each other by first name for some time, at least
off-duty, "has Mr. Spock been a good boy this year?"

"Well..." he started, but was interrupted from behind. "Of course  he
wasn't, Uhura," spoken with a strong southern dialect, indicating
several drinks from the bar had gone down the doctor's throat
already, "just look at him. He isn't even having fun now."

"Doctor, I'm curious, how would having fun influence my abilities  as
first officer on this ship?"

McCoy rolled his eyes in frustration, mumbling something about
Vulcans nobody understood.

---

A few hours later, Spock seemed to start feeling uncomfortable, or  so
Kirk thought. He sat in his chair, fingers pressed together, eyes
half closed as if it needed to endure something. And Jim made a
surprising discovery. He knew he liked his first officer, really
liked him. But right now, he seemed the most beautiful creature
alive, exotic and alien, but still so familiar, so... so Spock.

Some more seasonal music was playing, "Last Christmas", another  20th
century one.

//Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day you gave it
away This year to save me from tears I'll give it to someone
special...//

And he realized he loved Spock, had done so for a very long time
already. Could he imagine a life without Spock? Without his presence,
his advise, his friendship? No, probably not. Suddenly he noticed
that they were alone at the small table. His navigator and helmsman
had left at least half an hour ago, and somehow, the others also had.
In fact, he noticed the room was quite empty by now - empty in
comparison to before - and most people left were from other shifts.

"Spock? I believe we should go... I mean, get some sleep." The  Vulcan
got up at once, it seemed he had only waited for this.

In companionable silence, they walked to their quarters which were  in
the same part of the ship, and again Jim had this strange feeling  of
oneness, as if they had stopped to be Kirk and Spock but one  single
new being. But it couldn't be - could it? - that Spock felt it  too...
or did he?

He asked himself this question over and over, forgetting everything
around him, until he was brought back to reality by something so
unexpected, so real that he gasped and pulled back, almost missing
the fact that he was in his old familiar room. Spock had... kissed
him.

"Wha..." he managed to bring out, then lost himself in those dark
eyes, confused and yes, even a little shocked.

"Jim. I am sorry. I thought I had percepted that you wished to...  do
this. I must have been wrong. I didn't try to read your thoughts,  but
I believed I had. If you will excuse me..."

"Wait!"

In mid-movement Spock halted, turning towards his captain again,
patiently waiting.

"I did want this. I mean, I do. It's just... you surprised me. I
mean, I... I don't know, you could have..." What? Warned him? No. "I
never knew. Have you felt like this before?" he finally asked.

"Yes, often. And I sensed it in you before, in our mind melds."

"But... you never said anything?!?"

"I was not sure. As you weren't. Honestly, if I had told you you  were
in love with me while you didn't know yourself, what would have
happened?"

"You're right. I would have thought you crazy. Okay. So... what  will
we do now?" It was pathetic. He should know. He liked being in
control. He was always in control in this kind of situation. But
then, had he ever been in *this* situation?

As it turned out, he was quite comfortable with giving Spock  control
after all...

---

James T. Kirk, retired Starfleet admiral, smiled when he thought  back
to that first night with his beloved. So much passion, so much  trust,
and deep affection built over the years... yes, love it sure  was. A
love strong enough to last this long, to overcome even death.

And still it hadn't lessened. It had grown, well, quieter. But it  was
just as strong.

That evening, when they made love, he felt it burn as hot as the
first time, and he knew he could consider himself a lucky man. The
Enterprise would never have been his home without Spock, and now that
they were together on Earth, she was only a ship among many others,
something from the past. She had no place in this part of his life.

Spock's warm breath touched his ear. "Merry Christmas, Jim!" he
whispered.

"Can't wait for New Year's Eve..." Jim replied, in this calm and
gentle voice he reserved only for his mate, and they held each other
close, savouring the afterglow of their lovemaking.

---

The End