The BLTS Archive- Falling in Love Again by T'Reija (Theganan@gmx.de) --- Post/Archive: ASC, ASCEM(L), BLTS, R'Rain's, all others please ask first. Disclaimer: Paramount is God and owns everything Trek-related. The title is from Eagle Eye Cherry's song "Falling in love again". The original character Lyla and the creative content is *MINE*. Steal it and I'll stop holding my dog back... and he's big... Note: Like it? Hate it? Feed me back! Should I spend my next weekend typing? Or should I rather bury any sequel I might think about deep down in the graveyard where all my rotten stories end? Don't proceed if f/f relationships offend you (not that there is one... ). If it does (and there's no sex involved... we're talking G-rated here)... what are you doing reading one of *my* stories? Ya should know better... Dedication: For L., because you added something very special to my life, even though you can't feel the way I do... January 1999 --- I didn't tell Kathryn I loved her the morning after she'd fallen asleep in my quarters after all. I just explained I hadn't wanted to wake her up, and right after a short breakfast, she went. Maybe it's for the better. I know she never will return my love, but it's been so hard, so hard to let go. There always was this faint hope, a thin thread I clung to. Now, I believe I'm finally ready to give her up as a lover and be more of the friend I pretended to be. It's the best thing to do. Even though I feel like smashing something, throwing my bedside vase against a wall. My finger's clutch around the slim neck, feel the smooth, cold material. A few seconds they remain there, but the moment has passed. I'm not angry. Not at her. Not even at myself. No, for once in the last few years I am completely at ease, as if pain, fear and sadness had all washed away, leaving only myself here, the real me. Suddenly, I want to go to Sandrine's, let go of everything that has bothered me. Thinking about it, I haven't been to the holodeck in over a week. It's definitely time I get out of my quarters for more than duty or a frustrated workout. And luck's on my side, it's my free day. Quickly I take a shower, then leave. It's a brand new day, and who knows what might happen... --- There's not much going on in Sandrine's. I thought maybe I'd find Tom or Harry here, then we could play a game of pool or two. But they're not here, and neither is anyone else from senior staff. Not exactly elegantly, I plop myself on a chair at an empty table, returning Sandrine's welcoming smile. She's only a hologram, but sometimes she seems as alive as any human being. "Ma chère, you are 'ere all alone today?" And I like the French accent. It adds something real to her. Tom's done a great job in programming this place, although I'd never tell him that. "Yeah. You didn't happen to see Tom or Harry around, did you?" "Non, ma petite, not since yesterday evening." Aha. Another one of those 'long nights out'; they're probably still fast asleep. Knew you couldn't count on them. And there isn't much sense in me sitting here all alone, is there? "Mind if I join you?" A pleasant voice shakes me from my thoughts. A voice I immediately place without needing to look at the person whom it belongs to. "Sure, have a seat." A second later, I'm absorbed in what seem to be the most wonderful pair of eyes. Dark as midnight, but shining with so much life, in lack of a better, more suitable word. Well, I have a passion for eyes. For me, eyes are one of the most important physical things to a person. Sometimes you just have the feeling you can see right to the bottom of their soul only by deeply looking into their eyes. Or perhaps I'm just hopelessly romantic. It certainly hasn't brought me very far yet. "You know, I've been hoping we'd meet again soon." Oh, really? I can't imagine why. Maybe I'm being pessimistic, though. "Me too." Surprisingly, I notice I really do. I mean, I've hoped, but always Kathryn was on my mind also. I know I won't come over loving her so easily, but at the moment, I can think of her as a good friend, a very special friend. Am I being hasty? I don't even *know* Lyla very well, and I'm already starting to think in those lines. It's always been my problem, to rush things. Together with choosing the wrong people, this has caused that I didn't have many serious relationships in the past. We didn't have much time for things like this in theMaquis, and before that I always felt too much of an outsider. My Klingon half enabled me to be really human, on the other hand I disappointed my mother by not being Klingon enough, by showing no interest in the things that were important to her. I think for all the troubles and difficulties it has brought, being out here in the Gamma Quadrant has made me more sure of myself, I feel more comfortable than I ever have before. Especially since I was split by the Vidiians. Anyway, that's not important now. --- What shall I say? It was good to meet someone again, to talk and get acquainted. Lyla seems to be very nice and I like the way she laughs. She's from New Berlin, a Luna colony. We found some things we have in common, others we don't, and we both want to see each other again. I don't know much about her yet, but I think I could be falling in love again... --- The End