The BLTS Archive- Heart
by T'Reija (Theganan@gmx.de)

---

Archive: ASC/EM, others please tell me

Disclaimers: Everything Star Trek belongs to Paramount/Viacom,
everything except those things that are inside my head. And even if
that belonged to them too, they'd get it only over my dead body ;)).
The song "Heart" belongs to the Pet Shop Boys (Neil Tennant & Chris
Lowe) and can be found on the album "Very".

Thanks to Laura, who wrote some wonderful music videos for other PSB
songs (and who ever said I'd imitate?!? You all know, great minds...)

November 1998

---
Every time I see you something happens to me
Like a chain reaction between you and me
My heart starts missing a beat
My heart starts missing a beat
Every time
Oh oh oh, every time
Oh oh oh, every time
---

You look so calm when you lie beside me like that. Do Vulcans dream?
I wish I knew your dreams if so. Am I part of them like you are of
mine? I will have to ask you sometime. Can I be so important to you?
No, I do not doubt your love, not one second, but the feelings I have
for you, Spock, are so intense, I can't help but wonder whether you
can return them. Not that it would make any difference if you didn't
devote yourself to me as I do to you. I can feel your love, and that
it all I need.

---
If I didn't love you, I would look around for someone else
But every time I see you, you have the same effect
My heart starts missing a beat
My heart starts missing a beat
Every time
Oh oh oh, every time
Oh oh oh, every time
Every time
---

Do you feel it, the spark between us, the one that causes me to
hold my breath, the one that makes it so hard not to get distracted
when we are on duty? I loved another person as much as I love you
only once, and that's a fact. I thought I'd found the right one a
couple of times. Carol Markus, Edith Keeler, they were two of them.
It wasn't enough. I hear people talk about me, know they think me a
seducer who doesn't really care for the women he goes to bed with. It
isn't true. Admitting, I had more affairs than most other men in
Starfleet, and I didn't love any of these women. Maybe I *did* use
them, but it was never my intention to hurt their feelings. I always
made it clear that I'd make no commitments. But then there was
Gary... he was my first boyfriend. What started out of curiosity back
when we were in the academy soon became much more. After he'd jumped
in front of me and had taken that poison arrow. Since that day, we'd
been together, from then until he died. In the end, I don't know how
much he remembered of our feelings for each other. He thought of me
as inferior being, not worthy of his love. Dr. Dehner had been more
suitable.

---
I hear you heart beat next to me
I'm in love with you; I mean what I say
I'm in love with you, and you don't know
What it means to be with you
---

After that day, I decided never to give another person so much of
myself, never to allow these strong feelings again. There were always
women from then on, women I had sex with and never saw again,
sometimes married women. Never men, not after Gary. Not before you.

---
Every time I see you, no matter what we do
There's a strange reaction, can you feel it too?
My heart starts missing a beat
My heart starts missing a beat
Every time
Oh oh oh, every time
Oh oh oh, every time
---

I love you, Spock, and nothing can change these feelings. You are
so special to me, I'd never imagined I could feel this way again, but
I do. It means so much to me, to have you here, and yes, to commit to
you. Don't ever leave me again. I don't think I could take it, not
this time. I love you.

---
I hear you heart beat next to me
I'm in love with you; I mean what I say
I'm in love with you, and you don't know
What it means to be with you
---

The End