The BLTS Archive- The Frog King #4: When Love And Death Embrace... by T'Reija (Theganan@gmx.de) --- Archive: ASC, ASCEM, others please ask. Disclaimer: Paramount owns Star Trek, including Paris and Kim, and if they wanna sue me, nothing to fetch here, sorry . This time the song is by HIM (His Infernal Majesty). Note: This one differs a little in style from the others, as the song is directly included. Hope this doesn't make it less fun to read. Most certainly not the last in this series ;)) Dedication: To anne in chicago. Way back when I posted "The Frog King" and "Lies" in April 99, she told me to "Have them all commit suicide, have them smooch and make up, but, please, tie up the ends..." August 2001 --- He's gone. I knew he'd leave, but it's a shock nevertheless. Now, I'm alone again... so alone. Why couldn't he stay? Why couldn't he be with me? All this time since we broke up, I thought it was simply that he didn't love me. I could have understood that. Not, that going on with my life would be any easier, but I'd at least have an explanation. Would at least known why. It's weird, really. Ironic. When we were still a couple, we took everything for granted. What we had. What was still to come. It had started so sudden. Maybe too sudden. Maybe we should have taken it slower... but at the time, it seemed so natural, so good, so *right*... we lost ourselves in fits of passion, and lust, and different kinds of love. The love friends share. And, at least for a while, the love between two people destined for each other. Then, as time went by, I noticed Tom getting more and more distracted. Wanted to get closer, and found myself confronted by a line I could not cross. At first, I thought it was someone else, another person. B'Elanna maybe. Or even Chakotay. There had always been strong feelings between them, though they were mostly negative. And when I felt that Tom shut me out, my own insecurities came. I thought of home. Of my family. How would they react to my relationship with Tom? And Libby. It wasn't really her I missed, I must confess. It was more like she was some kind of constant in my life. Someone I could rely on. Someone who's feelings I never had to doubt, unlike Tom's. So, I pulled back, too. Told him I loved him, but wasn't so sure about that anymore. Holding him, but thinking of other places, and other people. It was so foolish. I can see that, now. Maybe, I could have saved our relationship then. Maybe, it wouldn't have had to come to this. I shudder, and suddenly find myself down on the floor, crying for the second time today. Why, oh why are you *doing* this to me, Tom, why can't you just leave me *alone*, why do you have to haunt me like a ghost? Why can't you let me go on with my life and go one with yours? Why? The small bottle in my pocket feels cold as my hand touches it. I've kept it in my bathroom for years, for three fucking years. I've been tempted, at times, but I never went through with it. Never. But suddenly, it's the only thing that makes sense. The only way out I can see... The pills work fast. I'm already feeling light-headed. Not long to go on, huh? My eye catches the instrument in one corner of the room, half-hidden behind a curtain. I've kept it, though I haven't played in quite a while. Stuck to my clarinet. Tom showed me how to play the guitar. Said it was the only instrument he could play at all, that he'd taught himself to play, in the academy. With a little help from his roommate (who, by chance, was also his first real lover). And he passed it on to me. His lover. Back then. The instrument feels awkward at first. It's been three years. But after playing a few chords, a song I once heard pops into my mind. It seems hard to grasp a thought now, but the words just flow from my lips as I start to sing... I'm in love with you... And it's crushing my heart... All I want is you... To take me into your arms... When love and death embrace... Oh, Tom... I don't really want to do this... don't want to leave you back here... but there is just no way we can be together... I love you... And you're crushing my heart... I need you... Please take me into your arms... When love and death embrace... I just can't, can't go after you, can't beg you in person to come back... please, come back... When love and death embrace... When love and death embrace (Oh-ho, oh-ho) When love and death embrace (Oh-ho, oh-ho) When love and death embrace (Oh-ho) When love and death embrace... Tom... Oh, when love and death, When love and death, When love and death embrace... ... please... Oh, when love and death embrace (Oh-ho) Oh, when love and death embrace... ... come... Oh, when love and death embrace... Oh, when love and death embrace... ... back... --- The End