The Blts Archive- You Can't Go Home Again
by T'Lin (linkys@aol.com)

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Note: Written for the Barclay Fuh-q Fest

Archiving: ASC/EM, Holo Pursuits, ScFF and my own web page ... all
others, please ask first.

Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom own all things TREK ... I just borrow
from their universe for pleasure ... I make no money off of my
endeavors, nor do I intend to infringe on their copyright. The
characters and setting are theirs, this original piece of fanfiction
is mine ... ŠT'Lin, September 2001.

Feedback gladly accepted ... publicly or privately.

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Lieutenant Reginald Barclay was very concerned about Captain
Montgomery Scott ... or Scotty, as he preferred to be called. After
all, at the age of 72, after serving in STARFLEET for 51 years, he had
retired ... but an accident left him suspended in a transporter buffer
for 75 years. Now, he felt alone ... out of place ... lost in a
universe he no longer knew.

Reg had offered to make him feel more at home by recreating his old
ship in the holodeck ... Scotty was enthralled by the technology
involved, and pleased with the outcome. But Reg couldn't bring back
his old friends, or make the familiar surroundings real for him ... he
wished there was something he could do to make things better for
Scotty.

Needless to say, he was surprised when his comm signaled ... his
instincts told him something must be wrong, since that was the only
reason anyone ever called him when he was off duty. When he heard that
lilting voice, however, his anxiety turned to interest. He accepted
Scotty's invitation to join him on the bridge of his old ship with
gratitude.

Entering the holodeck, Reg was greeted by a hearty hello, and an offer
of a drink.  Not one to imbibe, especially the 'real thing',  he
started to decline ... but one look at the old engineer made him give
in. After all, what would one drink do?

Scotty was lonely ... feeling out of place. Reg knew exactly how he
felt, and was a sympathetic ear for the elder's reminiscence. As
Scotty talked about the adventures he had had, Reg listened intently,
marveling at all he had seen and done in his lifetime. His own time
aboard the ENTERPRISE seemed rather tame in comparison.

As Scotty reminisced, they drank ... Reg found that he was enjoying
the taste of the Scotch as well as the warm feeling it gave him.  He
was enthralled by the tales Scotty wove, and curious about the people
he had served with. To spur on the conversation without being too
obvious about it, he would occasionally ask a question, and Scotty
would expound on the next subject with ease.

He told of his original mistrust of Kirk's abilities, and how he had
quickly earned the respect that was his due. It was obvious to Reg
that Scotty had a deep and abiding admiration for his former captain,
although apparently, they had never been friends.

The same could be said about his relationship with Spock ...they
worked well together, but the thought of socializing would never have
crossed his mind. It was not in the Vulcan's nature to be sociable ...
at least not in the way that Scotty was.

Reg then went on to ask about the others ... wondering who would be
worthy enough to be considered a friend. He had expected perhaps Sulu
or Chekov ... or even the doctor, but much to Reg's surprise, Scotty
said Uhura. As he said this, his entire countenance changed ... Reg
was instantly alert, for he had not seen the engineer so animated
since his arrival, and wanted to know more.

Scotty told of her lovely voice, and her sense of humor. Her skill as
a linguist, and her courage under fire ... all the things that he
loved about her. As he talked about the last time he had seen her, on
the night before he shipped off for his retirement home, he faltered
... tears welled in his eyes, as he took the bottle in hand, and
poured himself another drink.

Reg was curious. He asked Scotty why he had never married her, for it
was quite apparent that he loved her. Scotty shook his head sadly,
saying that no matter how lovely she was, or how much they had loved
each other, it would not have been fair of him to ask her to commit
her life to him when he could not commit himself to her completely.

Reg thought he understood ... after all, he was also an engineer, and
they did tend to be married to their ships.  He said as much to
Scotty, who immediately said he had misunderstood. To emphasize his
point, he turned to face Reg, placing his hands on either shoulder, as
he spoke.

The closeness aroused Reg, who struggled to focus on what the engineer
was saying, and not his proximity. It took a minute, but his words
eventually sank in, just as Scotty pulled away, certain that Reg would
reject him once he discovered his secret. But Reg didn't, for he
understood Scotty all too well ... Scotty had been involved with
someone else ... someone who could give him all the things that Uhura
could not.

When Scotty pulled away, he had turned his back on Reg ... Reg stepped
up behind him, and pulled him into a friendly embrace, whispering in
his ear that he understood, and suggesting that they take the
conversation to a more comfortable location. 

Scotty hesitated. He had never told anyone about his relationship with
Leonard. Even Uhura assumed his reason for not marrying her had been
his dedication to his work. But Reg eased his fears when he told of
his one brief encounter with the cantankerous doctor. Scotty turned in
Reg's arms, hope of seeing his old lover radiating from his upturned
face, but the hope died all too soon, as Reg explained that Leonard
McCoy had died two years ago, at the remarkable age of 140.

It seemed as if that bit of knowledge was Scotty's undoing ... he had
rightfully assumed that all of his old friends and acquaintances, with
the exception of possibly Spock, had passed away, but to realize that
he had come within two years of seeing McCoy was too much for him to
bear.   Reg held him close, as he cried for his lost love. Eventually,
the tears subsided, and Reg suggested they go to his quarters. Scotty
pulled himself together, and started to decline ...he  was emotionally
exhausted, not to mention physically ... and at his age, that was not
a good combination. He said as much to Reg, but Reg just pulled him
closer, saying that it did not matter ... he just wanted to hold him
close, and ease his loneliness for a time.

Scotty wasn't sure exactly whose loneliness he was referring to ...
but then he decided ... it really didn't matter.

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The End