The BLTS Archive- Betrothal
#2: But Never Parted...
by T'Lin ( LinkyS@aol.com )

---

Warning: Sequel to my story "PARTED FROM ME . . ." and deals with
the portrayal of an f/f relationship. This time around, lots of angst,
but not much sex. In any case, if the idea of two females together in
a loving relationship bothers you, I suggest you read no further. As a
matter of fact, I'd say you're defiantly in the wrong place all
together, go elsewhere for your reading pleasure.

Note: Written for Round VI of the Femme Fuh-Q Fest

Archiving: FFF, enterpriseslash, ASC* and my own site -
all others, please ask first.

Feedback: Gladly accepted ... private or public ... no flames please.

Disclaimer: Paramount, Viacom, whomever, own the STAR TREK universe,
I'm just borrowing the gals for a little harmless fun. I promise to
return them when I'm done. I make no money off of this, it is all in
fun ... no copyright infringement is intended.

This original story is ŠT'Lin, May 2002.

---


T'Pau had been growing ever more weary of her time alone. Nearly a
year had passed since T'Pol was assigned to ENTERPRISE . . . a year of
wondering from day to day if she would ever see her again.

At first, the correspondences came on a regular basis . . . usually
'letters' were exchanged every five or six days, with more 'personal'
messages through their bond on a daily basis. But two months into her
new assignment, the daily 'exchanges' started being limited to very
brief encounters. More often than not, T'Pau got the impression that
T'Pol was too busy to share anything with her before her mental
shielding went up to full force.

On a few occasions, T'Pau had 'eavesdrop' on T'Pol without being
detected. The jumble of emotions she sensed in her betrothed's mind on
these occasions were confusing to T'Pau, who had no experience with
humans to judge her impressions by. On more than one occasion,
feelings of 'concern' for another were quite strong, but it was
impossible for T'Pau to determine exactly who was the cause of such
strong emotions from T'Pol.

A few months back, after the fall of P'Jem, T'Pau had been somewhat
relieved to hear that T'Pol was being recalled to Vulcan to account
for her part in the incident ... it mattered little to her if T'Pol's
career would be effectively over. All that mattered was that she would
be home, and they could resume their lives together.

But even that was not to be.

The letter she had gotten from T'Pol corroborated the official
announcement that, although not cleared of the charges against her,
the circumstances surrounding the incident had been reevaluated, and
T'Pol had been severely reprimanded. At the request of Captain Archer,
and Admiral Forrest, Soval had agreed to her remaining with ENTERPRISE
indefinitely.

T'Pau's reply to the letter had been rather emotional, and she
regretted sending it after the fact ... but it was too late to take
back the words she had spoken in anger and disappointment. Since then,
there had only been two letters exchanged between them, and no
'personal' contact through their bond whatsoever. T'Pau continued to
open her mind to her betrothed, but every time they made contact,
T'Pol pulled away, and erected a wall between them.

T'Pau did not understand T'Pol's attitude, and wondered what she was
hiding or trying to protect her from. She grew more and more
frustrated, thinking her initial fear over their bond not surviving
this experience to be a reality ... but she was willing to hold on to
the hope of a future with T'Pol for a bit longer.

Today, she had heard a rumor that ENTERPRISE was being recalled to
Earth. Now, she was not one to hold too much stock in such rumors, but
there was something about this one that made her take notice. Thinking
her official connection to T'Pol should open a few doors, granting her
access to information the average citizen would not be privy to, she
investigated the rumor.

She quickly learned that they were, indeed, on their way back to
Earth, and that their stay would be for an indefinite period of time
... from all indications, T'Pol should be able to return to Vulcan,
where they finally would be bonded, putting an end to her fears once
and for all.

---

The crew of ENTERPRISE had been in constant debriefing meetings for
the past week. For a while there, their fate was very uncertain.
Uncertainty seems to come with the territory whenever the Suliban are
involved. However, T'Pol was pleased to see that they were, finally,
cleared of the charges, and would be allowed to return to the
exploration of space.

With this unpleasantness behind her, there was one other matter she
must deal with before returning to duty. ENTERPRISE would be
undergoing maintenance and resupply ... giving the crew a month of
leave before their mission was continued. Her request for transport to
Vulcan was approved by Soval, and Archer had granted her a three week
leave of absence, so she was on her way to see T'Pau ... a meeting she
was anticipating with mixed emotions, indeed.

She had asked T'Pau to come to Earth, but she had refused, insisting
that T'Pol meet her on the ancient sands of their homeworld. By the
tone of the message, T'Pol knew that she would be given an ultimatum.
She did not like ultimatums.

As the transport neared Vulcan, she began to wish she were someplace
else ... anywhere else would do just fine. She was torn, uncertain of
her own emotions when it came to T'Pau. They had been t'hy'la since
childhood ... betrothed at the age of seven, when they had been able
to convince their parents that there would never be anyone else in
either of their lives to supplant the other.

They had attended the Vulcan Science Academy together, always
finishing first and second, although not always the same one on top.
After graduation, they had joined a prestigious research facility,
dealing in interspecies biology. Their work brought them great
recognition, until one day, they were both invited to join the Earth
delegation, under the supervision of Ambassador Soval.

It would be a five year assignment, giving them firsthand experience
with another species, in its own environment. T'Pol, always the more
inquisitive of the two, thought it was a splendid idea, while T'Pau
was more reserved in her opinion ... the idea of living on such a cold
and uninviting planet for five years, with such primitive beings, was
not to her liking at all.

T'Pol almost declined as well ... the idea of being separated for five
years being the reason. But T'Pau could see the desire in her
betrothed's mind, and knew that if she did not let her go, there would
always be a bit of doubt and resentment between them. T'Pau and T'Pol
had finally found one area where their level of interest was not
interchangeable -- T'Pau was satisfied with knowledge in the abstract,
whereas T'Pol needed a more hands-on approach.

So it was decided ... T'Pol would go to Earth for five years, working
with Ambassador Soval, and the science department of the newly formed
Starfleet. She would be a bit of a liaison between the Human and
Vulcan scientists, as they completed the building of their first
high-speed, long range space ship.

T'Pau had asked that they undergo their official bonding before T'Pol
left, but after a great deal of discussion, they decided to wait until
after the assignment was over ... looking back on that decision, T'Pol
had to admit to herself that there had been no logical reason for the
delay.

T'Pol was brought back to the present as the transport landed, and she
disembarked. Glancing around the eerily silent terminal, she had her
first look at Vulcan in over a year ... she found the silence
oppressive, and realized that she had obviously spent too much time in
the presence of humans. On Earth, even the 'quiet' places had some
noise, but here there was nothing, not even the sound of the
air-circulation pumps that brought the cool air into the terminal.

She shook herself out of this unusual train of thought and continued
to look for T'Pau. It took a moment, but she spotted her near the far
window, and altered her course accordingly. As she got closer, she
noticed the changes that had overcome T'Pau in the year since she had
seen her last. T'Pau had grown thin, and somewhat stooped in her
posture, as if she had spent too many hours looking into the screen of
her terminal, without food or rest. When she was still about five
yards away, their eyes locked ... but instead of seeing warmth and
love in T'Pau's eyes, T'Pol only saw anger and distrust.

T'Pol knew, without a doubt, that this meeting would be as unpleasant
as she had feared when she had first gotten T'Pau's summons. Trying
not to let her anxiety show, T'Pol allowed a slight smile to reach her
eyes, if not her lips, as she closed the distance, and extended her
fingers in the ritual embrace. She couldn't help but notice the slight
hesitation before T'Pau did likewise.

Unsurprisingly, there was no mental contact at the touch ... T'Pol
couldn't blame T'Pau for not even trying, considering the wall's she
had erected between them over the last few months. But they had been
necessary, as far as T'Pol was concerned. Too much had been going on
that she was not comfortable sharing with T'Pau. Trying to filter out
classified information, from personal information was just too
difficult, and would result in much the same reaction on T'Pau's part
... misunderstandings and accusations.

Now, face to face, T'Pol would be able to explain about the classified
information that she could not share through their bond. She knew
T'Pau would understand. Telling her about the growing friendship
between herself and Hoshi Sato would be another thing, however. She
somehow doubted that revelation would be accepted with quite the same
level of understanding.

---

The drive to their home was a silent one. T'Pol spent the short time
looking out the window, refamiliarizing herself with her homeworld.
For the most part, the city was the same as when she had left. It had
virtually been the same since the day she had been born, as far as she
knew. The sudden realization that she had experienced more changes,
both personally and of those around her, in the past year than she had
encountered in her entire life up to that point, startled her.

Looking at T'Pau, she tried to picture what she would be like today
had she accepted the posting on Earth, and could not. T'Pau was not
one to accept change easily, or often, and in that lies the difference
between the two of them. Deep down T'Pol had a feeling that she had
always known this, and perhaps it was one of the deciding factors in
her decision to postpone their bonding. Regardless, it would be a
factor when T'Pau presented her with her ultimatum, which she would no
doubt do before long.

They arrived home, and entered the spartanly decorated abode. T'Pol
noted that absolutely nothing had changed ... everything was in its
place, with nothing new added, or removed. It bothered her. Her own
quarters aboard ENTERPRISE, though spartan, had had a few items added
over the course of her time there. A polished rock that Commander
Tucker had given her as a peace offering; a photo of Hoshi and herself
disguised as natives. Little things that made it a 'home' to her.

But there was nothing here that T'Pol and T'Pau had not acquired
together.

T'Pol took her things to her room, then returned to the living area.
T'Pau was in the kitchen, preparing a light meal as T'Pol entered,
saying, "We must talk."

"Yes, we must." T'Pau replied, without facing T'Pol. She quickly went
on, "I was hoping to bond with thee tonight, but it is not possible. I
have spoken with the elders, and they cannot arrange our Koon-ut
Kali-fee in less than three days." Only after she had said this, did
she turn to face T'Pol, before adding, "I hope that is satisfactory
with you."

T'Pol was left speechless. She had expected the ultimatum, but had
assumed there would be more time. She needed to meditate, and weigh
all the options. Thinking quickly, she finally said, "Must it be so
soon? We have been apart for over a year, we must get to know one
another again, before making such a life-altering decision. We have
time before I must return to Earth."

By the look in T'Pau's eyes, this was not what she wished to hear. In
an attempt to remedy the situation, T'Pol closed the distance between
them, and lightly touched her fingers to T'Pau's face, as she added,
"Come, ashaya ..." leaving the rest of the thought to pass from mind
to mind.

T'Pau did not smile, but accepted the invitation. The food forgotten,
they returned to the sleeping chamber, and silently undressed. T'Pau
was suddenly very aggressive, as if she were starved for physical
gratification ... T'Pol tried to proceed more slowly, savoring every
touch and sensation. She could sense that T'Pau was not finding
fulfilment or release, which seemed to add to her aggressiveness.

In an attempt to calm T'Pau, T'Pol opened their bond slightly. She
knew there was danger in the partial bond -- a danger that T'Pau would
sense that she was holding back -- but it was a chance she needed to
take if T'Pau was to find any release. It took time, but she
eventually felt the tension slowly ease, and T'Pau's body became more
pliant and responsive to her touch. Their mutual release, when it
came, was less than satisfying, as far as T'Pol was concerned.

---]

After the rather hurried and unsatisfying bout of sex, they did not
revert to their old habit of lying there, holding each other close
while they slept. Instead, T'Pau said, "You must be hungry," as she
left the bed and quickly went into the fresher. As she returned,
wearing the robe T'Pol had given her years ago, she added, "Dinner
will be ready in exactly ten minutes."

T'Pol continued to lie there, staring at the retreating back, even
after she was no longer in sight. When she had made the suggestion to
come in here, there had been a sliver of hope that their old
relationship could be salvaged, given time. But now, she knew it was
impossible. She had changed so much over the past year, but T'Pau had
remained as she always was. The way she always would be. She would
never be able to accept a life with so many unknowns as the one T'Pol
had to offer.

It was time to make an ultimatum of her own.

Dressing quickly, she returned to the kitchen, just as T'Pau was
putting dinner on the table. She had made T'ooRac S'MoorSum, one of
her favorite dishes. It had been some time since she had eaten it last
... the mushroom and carrot approximation she had been able to find on
Earth had been quite good, but not nearly as flavorful as the Vulcan
vegetables were. Pouring glasses of spring wine for each of them, she
took her seat, and they began to eat.

T'Pol had become unused to eating in complete silence, and asked,
"T'Pau, have you ever considered applying to a teaching post at the
Vulcan Science Academy? Or Possibly on Earth? I understand that
Starfleet Academy is always looking for teachers in the sciences ...
especially in fields relating to interspecies interaction."

T'Pau looked at her, openly appalled by her lack of manners. After a
moment, she said, "This is not the time or place for such a
discussion," then continued to eat her meal in silence. T'Pol had no
choice but to do the same. When they had finished, T'Pol cleared the
dishes, and loaded them in the recycling unit, while T'Pau made tea.

They retired to the living room, tea in hand, when T'Pau finally spoke
again. "May I ask why you asked such a question of me?"

T'Pol sipped her tea before answering the question with another
question. "Your research is in the field of Interspecies Biology. Tell
me, have you ever met a being of another species?"

"It is unnecessary ..." but she got no further.

"Unnecessary? How can you say that?" T'Pol stopped herself from saying
anything further. Losing her temper over this would not change the
facts, and she knew from years of experience, T'Pau would not be
swayed by an emotional display. Taking a moment to center herself,
T'Pol continued, "I have come to many false assumptions in the past
... especially where Human's are concerned. In the past year, I have
come to see that one cannot make generalizations over them, or any
other species. The only way to truth and understanding is through
knowledge."

T'Pol suddenly put her tea cup down, and stood. Looking down at T'Pau,
she added, "You asked if it was satisfactory with me if we were bonded
in three days time. I tell you now that it is not."

"When do you wish to bond with thee?" T'Pau asked, although there was
a speck of fear in her voice.

"I do not. I ask that our betrothal be dissolved before I return to
Earth." The decision finally made, she made her way to the bedroom, to
gather her belongings and move them to the guest room. She would make
arrangements for her return to Earth in the morning.


As T'Pol turned she saw T'Pau in the doorway. "Why?" was all she
asked.

"Through knowledge comes change ... I have changed too much to be
happy or content in the life you have chosen for yourself. And you
have not changed at all, nor do you wish to. I do not see you being
happy with me, or the life I have come to appreciate." T'Pol paused,
knowing that 'emotions' were a difficult subject to broach with T'Pau,
but asking nonetheless, "Tell me, how have you felt this past year,
with me off world?"

Surprisingly, there was no hesitation when T'Pau answered. "Lonely,
depressed, anxious, frustrated. Do you need to hear more?" There was
sarcasm and anger in the voice. T'Pol was not entirely surprised.

"No, I had surmised as much. For me, it has been very different. Yes,
at first I too was feeling lonely and somewhat depressed, but as the
work engulfed me, I felt a sense of accomplishment, pride in my
abilities, and the acceptance of my co-workers. Excitement, curiosity,
occasional anxiety and fulfilment."

She stopped, not wanting her hurt T'Pau any more than she already had.
They had been the world for each other for so long, but there was more
to life than just one world ... T'Pol had already discovered that the
universe was far more interesting. It was time for T'Pau to do the
same. In a last-ditch effort, she added, "I implore you to expand your
horizons ... allow change into your life. Who knows, when next we meet
again, we may once again have experiences to share with one another."

T'Pau was silent for some time, then she turned and left the room.
T'Pol listened as the door to the bedroom they had shared closed.
T'Pol knew that it was the end of the discussion, and went to bed. In
the morning, she would make sure they went to see the elders, to have
their betrothal dissolved, then she would return to Earth, and the
ENTERPRISE.

---

Hoshi was waiting at the space dock when T'Pol's transport arrived. At
once, she noticed the lightness of mood that T'Pol seemed to exude
from every pore ... as if a heavy burden had been lifted while she had
been away. If Hoshi hadn't known better, she would have sworn that
T'Pol smiled at her, as their eyes locked across the crowded and noisy
terminal ... but she knew it was only in her imagination. T'Pol did
not smile ... although Hoshi vowed that one day, she would.

---

The End