the BLTS Archive - After Amok Time
#3: Food for Thought
by T'Lin (LinkyS@aol.com)

---

Warnings: this story contains mature subject matter, and explicit
descriptions of m/f sex. It also delves into the possibilities of a
m/m relationship, with a fairly descriptive bit of foreplay. If this
is not to your taste, or if you are under 18, READ NO FURTHER!

Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom own the world of STAR TREK ... I just
like to borrow the people and places of their universe to have a
little fun with once in a while. I make no money off of this. No
copyright infringement is intended.

Archiving: ASC, ASCEM, BLTS, Spock_N_Christine List Archive and my own
web page. All others, please ask first.

---

Christine hurried to get to sickbay before McCoy ...she wanted to be
fully engrossed in some task when he got there, so as not to become
the subject of his interrogation. Undoubtedly, he would ask her about
last night, and she really wasn't in any mood to discuss it with him.
Especially before she has a chance to talk to Spock about it. And,
boy, did she need to talk to Spock about it. Last night was only the
beginning ... and she needed to explain what he would be going through
in the next 10 days *before* anything else happened. Pon Farr was a
tricky thing ... and even more so when it is not allowed to run it's
natural course. Sadly, unless you have,  a) experienced it once
before, or, b)been trained as a Vulcan Healer, you have no way of
knowing this.

When she had approached him while they were en-route to Vulcan, she
had assumed that he was an un-bonded male who, nonetheless had a
solution already arranged. That would certainly account for his
reaction to her ... as well as his refusal of her help. Of course, had
she known about T'Pring at that time, she would have realized that
something was wrong with his bond. He should not have even noticed her
... let alone be aroused by her presence. But then, that could have
been a result of his human genes. One thing she had to admit ...
Spock's life was far from uncomplicated.

To further complicate things, his Plak Tow was not broken in the
traditional manner ... that of sexual, mental and emotional release.
Instead, it was violent. The adrenaline rush of physical exertion
during the combat with the Captain was only a temporary fix. But of
course, neither he or the Doctor knew this. 'I, on the other hand,
knew it very well' she thought.  Unfortunately, due to the nature of
Spock's condition, and the secrecy around the whole issue of the Pon
Farr, she was never consulted ... after all, why would she know
anything about Vulcan Biology!

'Why, indeed!' Christine was distracted by her thoughts as she entered
sickbay, and nearly ran into McCoy. "So ... how was the Plomik Soup?"
he asked, with a slightly raised eyebrow.

Chris jumped, startled by the sudden intrusion. "Oh ... good morning,
Doctor. I didn't see you there." Regaining her composure, before McCoy
got too curious, she answered, "The soup was just fine. You'll be
happy to know that Spock had two rather large bowls of it."

"Glad to hear he's gettin his appetite back." Clearing his throat, as
if he was embarrassed, he went on in a quieter tone, "did he display
any more *abnormal* behavior last night?"

Chris, unsure of just how much she should say, decided to go with the
coy attitude, saying, "I guess that all depends on what you call
*abnormal*." and then she smiled, to dispel some of the tension she
suddenly felt in the room. "Look ... he's not 100% yet, but believe
me, Len ... nothing happened that I couldn't handle." Moving past him
so that she could head into her own office, she went on, "why don't
you ask him yourself ... he said he would be in here for a complete
physical at 0930."

McCoy laughed, "Well, there's a sign of *abnormal behavior* right
there ... Spock comin to me for a physical without me chasin all over
the ship after him."

Chris just shook her head as she entered her office, saying, "Perhaps
you're right."

---

Spock had spent the morning in meditation ... to be more precise, he
had been meditating since he returned to his quarters at 0200, and it
was now 0735. As he shifted from the kneeling position he had been in
for over 5½  hours, he was surprised to discover that he was stiff.
Apparently, the physical activity of the previous day had finally
caught up with him.

As he stood, and slowly stretched out his aching muscles, he inspected
his body for signs of the battle with Kirk. There were some nasty
bruises on his arms and legs, and he could feel some tenderness along
his ribs ... undoubtedly, there would be a bruise there, too, if he
could see it. He stripped off his meditation robe, as he made his way
into the bathroom to take a quick shower before he reported for duty.
Upon entering, he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror, and
stopped short. If he looked like this today, he could only imagine
what the Captain looked like ... then he smiled ever so slightly. 'At
least he was alive ... and Jim was alive ... and Christine ...'

At the thought of Christine, he felt the first flush of arousal hit
him ... which in turn, brought back more pleasant memories of the day
before. Or more precisely, the night before. Looking more closely into
the mirror, he realized that a few of the bruises he had were probably
not from the battle, but from their lovemaking. Most notably, the
teeth marks on his throat, and in all likelihood, the scratches along
his torso. Hopefully, the Doctor would not notice them for what they
are.

As he stepped into the shower, he thought again about his experience
with Christine, and tried to figure out exactly what had happened.
Obviously, he was attracted to her ... and lets face it, he had been
for some time. But as a Vulcan, he had not been able to show her in a
way that she would have understood or appreciated. Until last night.
Did it have something to do with the Pon Farr? Something to do with
his human half? Does it really matter, as long as he is happy? As he
finished up his shower, he admitted to himself that he was, indeed,
happy.

Dressing quickly, he decided to call Christine before she left for
sickbay. He would invite her to his quarters for dinner, so that they
could continue the conversation that was started last night.
Obviously, she knew more about what was going on than anyone realized
... and he was curious as to what she knows ... and how she knows it.

Sitting in front of his terminal, he called Christine's quarters, but
she did not answer. Hoping she was in the shower, he decided to leave
a message:

"Christine ... I know I said I would see you in sickbay at 0930, but I
wanted to talk to you privately, if I could. I would like you to join
me for dinner, in my quarters, this evening ... at 1900. As you said
last night, we have much to discuss. If this is inconvenient, please
let me know."

He singed off ... disappointed that she hadn't been there, but glad
that he would be seeing her in a short while.

---

As Christine entered her office, she noticed the message light
blinking. "Computer ... list messages waiting to be heard."

"There is one message ... forwarded from your quarters ... from
Commander Spock."

She said "replay message," as she sat down so that she could see the
monitor. As she watched the emotions play across his face as he
talked, she smiled. Apparently, he was taking this well ... she wasn't
sure if he would or not. 'Of course, he does not fully understand
what's happening yet ... but he soon will.'

Checking her chronometer, she decides call him back ... he should
still be in his quarters. Dinner would be nice, but she *must* talk to
him before then ... if not, they would have a repeat of last night,
and he would still be in the dark about everything.

<chirp>

"Yes ... oh, good morning, Christine. Did you sleep well?" he said, as
he smiled ever so slightly at her.

Taken slightly aback by his cheerful tone, she stammered, "Yes, thank
you. You look well rested, as well." She took a breath to steady
herself, then continued, "I got your dinner invitation, and I would
like to accept ... on one condition ..."

"And that would be?" he said, eyebrow raised in anticipation of her
request.

"That you and I spend some time together this morning to talk ... in
private." At his questioning look, she continued, "do you remember me
telling you that I spent a year on Vulcan ... at the Science Academy?"

"Yes."

"Well ... while I was there, I learned a great deal about Vulcan
Biology ... far more than the average Vulcan learns about it until
they are experiencing Pon Farr for the first time. There are things
you need to know ..." She faltered, as she saw his expression change
to one of barely suppressed anger.

"Kroykah!" he yelled, and stalked away from the image pick-up.

"Spock! Come back here," she ordered, and he obeyed. Although still
obviously angry, he sat once again in front of the terminal. Seeing
that she once again had his attention, she continued, "you said last
night that you trusted me ... I need you to trust me a little longer."

He nodded once, saying, "I am to report to McCoy at 0930. At that
time, he is to pronounce me fit for duty ... or not. Is there some way
that you can *discreetly* arrange to have a discussion with me after I
am done with McCoy?"

"I'll be completely honest with you ... I cannot leave Len completely
in the dark, here. How much does he know of the Pon Farr?"

"Less than I do ... he does not know about last night, and I intend to
keep it that way."

"Very well ... I will tell him simply that I know a little about Pon
Farr from the time I spent on Vulcan, and recommend that you be
relieved of duty for a few days." She could see that she had not
completely convinced the Vulcan, but at least he was not arguing with
her anymore. "Let's plan on meeting at 1100, in my quarters ... I will
answer all of your questions, then."

"Very well. I will come to your quarters at 1100, and we will talk.
Spock out."

Christine sighed ... this was going to be a very long day.

---

0924 - Christine had just finished talking to McCoy. He wished he had
known of her knowledge of Vulcan Biology before ... it could have
prevented a few headaches, if nothing else. Obviously, she knew more
about what was going on than she was telling him, but if she could
help the stubborn Vulcan, more power to her. She had told him all that
she could, and still maintain Spock's privacy. Most importantly, she
told him that Spock's life was no longer in danger ... although there
could still be complications, she could handle them ... as long as
Spock cooperated.

McCoy was confident that all would be well ... Christine could be very
persuasive when she needed to be ... and when it came to Spock, she
was in immovable force. She would do what was needed to ensure his
well being, no matter what the consequences.

At precisely 0930, Spock walked into sickbay.

---

McCoy had just finished up his physical of Spock when Jim entered
sickbay. Obviously, he would want to know what was going on. McCoy
gave Spock a significant look, and at the Vulcan's slight incline of
his head, McCoy said, "Jim, I've given Spock a few days medical leave
... he is to report back to me in three days time for reevaluation."
With a nod to Spock, he continued, "you're dismissed for now ... get
some rest, and by all means, contact me if you feel unwell."

"Thank you, Doctor ... I assure you, that I am fine." He stepped down
from the diagnostic bed, and turned to the captain, "if I may have a
word with you ... in private?"

"Of course, Spock ..." and he turned once again to McCoy saying,
"Bones, thank you ... for everything," and led Spock out of sickbay.
They made their way to Jim's quarters in silence.

Once there, Spock began to pace ... there was so much he wanted to say
to Jim ... so much he needed to tell him. But where to begin? When Jim
had entered Sickbay this morning, Spock had felt a stirring in his
loins ... this was not a new sensation, where the captain was
concerned, but after what happened last night ... he just did not know
how to deal with it.

"For someone who is 'fine', you certainly seem to be displaying a
great deal of pent-up tension." Jim said with a bit of a smile,
obviously trying to lighten the mood. Crossing the room to the
replicator, he asked, "would you like something?"

Spock stopped his pacing and turned to look at his commanding officer.
His inclination was to say, 'yes, you' ... but instead, he replied,
"no, I do not require anything at this time."

Jim turned back, and asked for a coffee, then crossed to his desk, and
sat on the edge. "OK, Spock ... you wanted to talk to me?" he said, as
he sipped his coffee. He hoped that Spock would say what was on his
mind, because he was finding it harder and harder to keep from pulling
the tense Vulcan into his arms. Ever since the battle yesterday, he
had been in a state of arousal ... and the presence of his First
Officer seemed to exacerbate the situation.

"Yes ... I ..." but his voice trailed off. Jim had never seen Spock at
such a loss for words.

"It's alright, Spock ... I think I know what you want to say, and
believe me, I do not hold you responsible for what happened
yesterday." He put the coffee cup down on his desk, and stood facing
his First Officer. He took one step in his direction, when Spock held
up his hand, telling him to stop.

"Jim ... what I did yesterday was unavoidable ... yet should never
have happened. I was not myself, obviously, but that is no excuse." He
stopped, as if to gather his thoughts, then with an almost audible
sigh, continued, "do you have any idea of how I felt? To have you, of
all people ..." he stopped once again, turning his back in his need to
hide the raw emotions about to break free.

He jumped at the feel of the cool hand on his shoulder, yet he did not
pull away. Encouraged, Jim said softly, "there's no need to explain
..."

But Spock suddenly turned, breaking the physical contact, as he said
through clenched teeth, "but there is! What I wanted to do to you was
unthinkable. When I held you in my arms, the Ahn-Woon around your
throat, my only thought was that I had subdued you, making it so that
you would submit to my need."

He shook his head sadly, then turned away as he continued, "it was
your 'death' that broke my Pon Farr ... not the battle," and then, in
a near whisper, he added, "at least, I thought it was broken ... but
last night ..." and he fell silent, realizing that he had already said
more than he had intended.

His revelation was unfair to Jim, who undoubtedly did not share the
same needs or desires ... and it was also unfair to Christine, and the
relationship they had just started.

"Spock, I don't know what happened last night, nor do I require you to
tell me ... but I assure you, what you desired of me was not
unthinkable," and he once again took the Vulcan by the shoulders, and
turned him to face him, adding, "if you ever feel the need to 'relieve
tension', all you have to do is ask ... I'd be more than happy to
comply."

There was a slight sad smile on Spock's face, as he said, "I shall, of
course, remember that ..." and he lightly touched Jim's face, as he
concluded, "if the situation presents itself, t'hy'la." He stepped
away, once again composed, as he made his way toward the door.

"I'll hold you to it," Jim said, as he watched Spock leave. At the
last moment, he asked, "care for a game of chess, later?"

Spock stopped just outside of the door's sensor, and turned, "I am
sorry, Jim, but not tonight ... I have other plans already."

"Some other time, then ..." Although Spock did not pick up on it,
there was a bit of jealousy in his voice. Jim chided himself for the
emotion, knowing that he had no right to feel that way. Spock was
entitled to spend his off-duty time in any way he chose ... with
whomever he chose.

Jim closed his eyes and counted to ten ... once again gaining control
of his emotions, in an effort to emulate his First Officer. He was the
Captain, he could not indulge in this emotional roller-coaster, if he
intended to command this ship.

Reminding himself of the rules concerning fraternization, he convinced
himself that it was for the best ... a romantic relationship between
Captain and First Officer would never do ... no matter how badly he
wanted it.

---

Christine had left sickbay at 1045, barely giving herself enough time
to prepare for her meeting with Spock. She had decided to make this
meeting as professional as possible. Sitting at her infrequently used
desk, she had placed a stiff-backed chair on the other side of the
desk for Spock. The placement of the desk was the crucial factor ...
it would *hopefully* block any accidental physical contact, thereby
preventing a repeat of last night's activity.

Not that she didn't want a repeat of said activities, but this was not
the time for it.

She had pulled out a few data chips that she had saved from her
studies on Vulcan ... if Spock became too agitated over this
discussion, she could always loan them to him. Of course, she hoped
that would not be the case ... she would prefer explaining things to
him herself, and answering any questions he may have. It was far more
personal that way.

Everything was set, with a few minutes to spare ... just as well, as
Christine needed a minute or two to compose herself. It would not do
for Spock to pick up on her emotional state at this time. Sitting at
her desk, she closed her eyes. After a few cleansing breaths, she
attempted to clear her mind.

Her breathing had slowed slightly, and her mind was clear ... she was
ready when the door chime sounded. "Enter," she said, remaining behind
her desk. As the door opened, and Spock entered her room, she tried
not to react to his appearance, but it was difficult.

Gone was the slightly cheerful expression that had greeted her over
the commlink just a few short hours ago. In its place, there was
renewed tension, and apprehension. Christine was puzzled ... Len had
not mentioned any complications while Spock was having his physical
... as a matter of fact, he was surprised that Spock was in such 'good
cheer'.

Chris was at a loss as to what could have happened in the meantime ...
but that didn't really matter, she supposed. She had a task before
her, with little time to complete it before another 'crisis' ..."have
a seat, Spock," she said, as she indicated the chair across the desk
from her.

He moved stiffly ... from tension or discomfort, she could not tell.
Once seated, he came right to the point. "Tell me what I do not know
about Pon Farr."

Christine smiled ever so slightly as she said, "well, it's not quite
that simple ... first, I need to know what you *do* know." Seeing his
reluctance, she added, "I will also need to know what you have
experienced prior to yesterday."

He closed his eyes, shaking his head negatively, as he said softly, "I
cannot ... to talk about it is ..." and his words trailed off.

Christine could see how difficult this was going to be, and decided to
take another tack. "Spock ... what you have experienced is natural. Do
not be embarrassed to discuss it with me." No response, so she plunged
ahead with her suppositions about what had happened, and why.
Hopefully, if she made a wrong assumption, he would let her know.

"Very well. Let me start by saying that your Pon Farr is very unusual.
I am assuming that this is due to one or more of the following
factors; 1) your Human genes; 2) an incomplete/rejected bond; 3)
mental incapacity." That last got his attention ... 'good,' she
thought. 'Now, to keep it.'

"There may be other contributing factors, but we will start with
these. As you are the first Vulcan/Human hybrid to reach maturity,
there is no data to see if your Human genes are a factor, so we will
skip that for the moment."

Christine had avoided asking about his betrothed, or what had happened
on Vulcan. All she knew was that there had been a battle to the death
between Kirk and Spock, and thanks to the quick thinking of Leonard,
both had survived, and Spock was no longer bonded.

Obviously, there had been a problem, as the combat aspect of the
'Koon-ut-kal-if-fee' had not been employed in generations. The fact
that it was in Spock's case could mean one of two things ... his
betrothed did not want him, and demanded the challenge, or her family
did. Either way, this could very well be the crucial factor.

"Spock ... I must know what happened on Vulcan ... who invoked
'kal-if-fee'? And why?"

He was silent for a moment, unable to meet Christine's eyes. She could
see him coming to the reluctant conclusion that he had no choice ...
after all, if he did not tell her what she needed to know, she could
always ask the doctor.

With a bit of a self-deprecating smile, he finally said, "T'Pring did.
Apparently, she had met someone else whom she wished to be with. Not
wanting to risk her future mate, she chose the Captain to be her
champion ... assuming that if he won, he would release her, as he had
no interest in her. If I won, she theorized that I, too, would release
her, for she had dared to challenge ... but if I did not, it did not
matter, she would still have Stonn when I returned to my life on the
ENTERPRISE."

He fell silent once again. When he looked up, he could see the anger
in Christine's eyes, and quickly looked away. He was shocked at his
reaction to her emotions, and had to fight to regain control. He took
several deep breaths to clear his head, and assumed that Christine was
doing the same.

When the silence had lingered for a few minutes, he heard her next
question, as if from a distance. "Tell me Spock ... could you sense
T'Pring through your bond prior to arriving on Vulcan?"

He cocked his head slightly, as if listening to something. After a
minute, he said, "I do not believe so." He paused, then continued, "I
remember when we were children, and first bonded ... her thoughts were
with me all the time. After a while, of course, we learned to shield
our minds, moving the bond to the 'back of our minds', until the day
came when we would be fully bonded." A brief pause, then he added
quietly, "I would look at her picture ... try to find her in my mind
... but she was never there ..."

"If you don't mind me asking, you were bonded at age seven, correct?"
He nodded, and she asked, "why did you not make the marriage official
several years prior to your Pon Farr, as is customary?"

"T'Pring's family was unsure of the match. Yes, I had my name, and
position ... a prominent family ... but my hybrid nature was an
unknown. They did not wish to commit their daughter to a marriage
where there was a possibility of no offspring. If no issue came forth
in this first consummation of our bond, the marriage would be
dissolved."

His unemotional disclosure of the facts made Christine furious ... by
rejecting him in this way, they  nearly condemned him to a painful
death.

"Spock, I think it's safe to assume that T'Pring's rejection of your
bond is what led to the erratic nature of your Pon Farr. Now, your
Human genes may also have played a part, although not a significant
one ... if anything, they may be why you were so late in experiencing
Pon Farr for the first time."

He raised a brow at her statement, apparently not realizing that his
onset was far later than the norm. 'Time to explain as much as I can,'
she thought, as she shifted in her chair, trying to get more
comfortable, before launching into the Vulcan equivalent of 'the birds
and the bees'.

"As you know, the Vulcan male experiences Pon Farr once approximately
every seven years of their adult life. Usually, first onset is around
age twenty-five, although that may vary from person to person. The
only known 'cure' for Pon Farr is the merging of body and mind with
their mate. Meditation and physical exertion, as in combat, may
alleviate the symptoms, but without sexual activity, death is
imminent."

Christine paused, to see what Spock's reaction was so far to her
recitation ... he raised his brow slightly, then said, "so ... before
last night ..."

"Yes, the battle did not stop your Pon Farr, just slowed it down a
bit."

"But now, it is over? Our time together last night brought it to an
end?"

"Not exactly ... last night ..." she stopped, and started once again.
"You are no longer in danger of dying due to the hormonal imbalances
created by the Pon Farr ... but it is not over yet. For several days,
you will experience uncontrollable bouts of sexual desire ... onset of
each is about ten hours after the last has been 'resolved'." She
smiled ever so slightly, as she went on, "that is why it was
imperative for us to have this discussion now, instead of over dinner
... I wanted you to be prepared, unlike last night." 

"Yes, that is logical."

Pleased to note that Spock was accepting the fact that there would be
a need for further sexual contact, she smiled. She had been worried
that he would protest, knowing that his life were no longer in
jeopardy, and vowing to deal with his condition on his own ... he
could be very stubborn, after all. "I am so glad you see it that way
... and I assure you, knowing what is happening can make the
experience far more pleasurable."

"Indeed," he said, with raised brow, "I wonder if that is possible."
Becoming serious once more, he asked, "you said that this condition
lasts for several days ... exactly how many?"

"Ah, now that is the thing ... it varies from five to ten days, just
as it varies in intensity, for each individual. For most, after the
fifth day, the need to mate is less urgent, and each subsequent bout
becomes less intense. After the tenth day, everything should be back
to normal until the next Pon Farr."

"So let me see if I have this straight ... I can expect anywhere from
five to ten days of intense sexual desire followed by incredible
sexual pleasure ...the urgency diminishing slightly each day, although
hopefully not the pleasure. And at the end of this time, I will no
longer feel desire or the urgency to mate again for seven years?" he
asked with incredulity.

"Well, now ... seems you've got all the facts right, except for that
last part. There is no physical reason for celibacy between Pon Farr's
... tests have shown that some Vulcan's do experience desire and
arousal on a regular basis." She paused at this point, not sure if she
should pry.

He looked at her, obviously waiting for her to continue, so she did.
"As you have been in a state of 'adolescence' until now, I do not know
if you have ... um ... experienced ..."

"Not exactly ..." he said, interrupting her query, "although, I have
not been completely immune to ... those around me." Suddenly, he was
very uncomfortable in her presence, as his thoughts returned to Jim,
and their conversation earlier. Even after all Christine was doing for
him, he could not erase the desire he felt for Jim.

She could sense the change in his demeanor, although she had no idea
what brought it about. Thinking that perhaps he was apprehensive about
what she would expect from him after this was over, she hastily
assured him, "by the way, Spock ... I will not hold you to any kind of
commitment once your Pon Farr has passed ... for although I do hope
that, one day, we could have a relationship, I do not want it to be
because of this."

"Thank you ... that sounds like an equitable arrangement. I do enjoy
your company, and would appreciate the opportunity to get to know you
better ..." he could not go on. For he had no words to express his
gratitude.

He stood, as did she. She looked at the chronometer, saying, "I must
get back to work, Len will be wondering what we're up to, if I'm much
longer." She winked, as she continued, "we wouldn't want him spreading
all kinds of rumors, now, would we?"

"Indeed not. I will take my leave of you," and he raised his fingers
to her in a familial gesture. She lightly touched her fingers to his,
feeling a jolt of desire surge through her, as he said, "come to my
quarters when you get off shift ... I do not think I can wait until
1900-hours."

"No, I don't suppose you can." and she disengaged her hand from his,
as they left her quarters ... Spock going to his own, just down the
hall, while she made her way back to sickbay, where she  knew she
would be virtually useless for the rest of the day.

---

McCoy had noticed how preoccupied Christine was when she returned, so
he gave her some medical journals, and told her to familiarize herself
with their content ... of course, he knew that she would not absorb
any of the information today, but she could at least make herself look
busy. Obviously, there was more going on between her and Spock than
she was letting on, but he really didn't care, as long as Spock got
through this.

It was a slow day in sickbay, after all ... except for Spock, there
hadn't been a patient all week. 'Just as well,' McCoy thought, as it
gave him plenty of time to update his files and write up his bi-annual
medical reports on the crew. As he returned to his office with a cup
of coffee, Jim entered sickbay. "Captain ... what can I do for ya?" he
asked, as he gestured for the captain to join him in his office.

Jim followed the doctor into the small room, and closed the door
behind him. McCoy sat, and Jim did the same, before he asked, "how is
Spock?"

McCoy gave him an odd look before answering, "as I told you before, he
will recover completely ... I've recommended a few days rest, and if I
feel ..."

Jim interrupted, saying, "I know all that ... but *how* is he? When we
spoke, he was very tense ... and not entirely himself. He said ...
never mind, it doesn't really matter what he said, or what I said ...
but I need to know that the sexual pressures he was feeling are over
with ... that he isn't going to have a relapse or something."

"Jim ... I'm not sure. I really don't know any more about this than
you do ... but believe me, he is being taken care of." McCoy did not
want to say any more ... he could speculate all he wanted, but it was
not his place to voice such speculation ...  especially to Jim.

"Being taken care of ... by who?" Jim asked, trying not to sound hurt,
but not succeeding very well. It was pretty obvious to McCoy that Jim
and Spock had feelings for each other ... even if they did not see it
in themselves. Or perhaps they did, but too late to be of any benefit
in this situation. Damn, this was getting far too complicated for
McCoy's tastes.

"Look Jim, I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but I think you
need to know. Christine spent a year on Vulcan ... she knows all about
the Pon Farr, and is helping Spock cope with the residual effects. I
don't know what she is doing, or how long this will last, but I have
to trust her ... just as Spock does."

"I see." He stood, and stepped toward the door, then turned, saying,
"Thank you, Doctor ... and please, keep me abreast of any
developments."

"Of course, Captain," was McCoy's reply, although, by the time he had
finished, Jim was long gone.

---

Christine was obviously lost in her own world. McCoy, sensing that
there was no point in her remaining on duty, stepped into her office,
saying with a smile, "go on ... get outta  here. You're not doing
either of us any good sittin here starin into space."

Surprised out of her private musing by his words, Chris started to
protest. She had no sooner opened her mouth, however, when she
realized it was pointless ... he was right, there was no point in her
staying here. "Thank you, Len ... I ..." she trailed off, not knowing
how to continue, while she stood.

"Look, Chris ... if you need some time off to ... well ..." McCoy
stammered in his attempt to ask without really *asking*.

"Perhaps ..." As she left her office, she turned back to McCoy saying,
"you know, it might be a good idea for me to be 'on call' for the next
few days ... as long as things remain relatively quiet in here ... we
can discuss it in the morning. Good night, Len."

"G'night, Christine ..." and silently he amended, 'take care of Spock'
as he watched her leave. McCoy shook his head, unsure of what the
future would hold for his friends, and silently praying they could
work things out so nobody got hurt.

---

Christine had been sensing Spock's need for some time. Obviously, they
had developed a partial bond. His desire was a palpable thing, making
it nearly impossible for her to concentrate on anything else. She was
grateful when Len told her she could leave early ... she didn't know
how much longer she could have stayed in her office if he hadn't.

Her initial instinct was to head directly to Spock's quarters, but she
restrained herself long enough to stop by her own to shower, and
change. As the sonics cleansed her body, she thought about what to
wear, quickly deciding that tonight, it would not be her uniform.
Leaving her hair down and unadorned, she crossed to her closet, and
pulled out one of the flowing 'caftan' style dresses she had picked up
on her last shore leave with Uhura.

It was made of a somewhat sheer and silky material, that flowed around
her legs like a cloud. On a sudden impulse, she decided that
undergarments would not be necessary, and would only get in the way
... she slipped the loose-fitting garment over her head. As it settled
into place, she shivered ever so slightly at the fabric's caress of
her sensitive skin. Looking in her mirror, she was pleased with the
effect ... and glad that it was still mid-shift, so that she would not
run into anyone in the hallway as she made her way to Spock's
quarters.

Out of courtesy, she would bring a bottle of wine to share over
dinner, as Spock had done ... although she knew dinner would not be
for some time. She had a small selection of her favorites, and decided
on a bottle of Picard, '42 - a wonderful French wine she had
discovered on her last visit to Earth - a nice fruity red that she
thought would go nicely with most Vulcan foods.

Bottle in hand, she cautiously left her quarters, first looking to
make sure the corridor was empty. Seeing it was, she made her way to
Spock's door. As she lifted her hand to press the buzzer, the door
opened. At the exact same moment, Captain Kirk stepped out of his own
door. Their eyes locked momentarily. As she heard Spock say, "Ah,
Christine ... you look lovely," she saw the Captain incline his head
ever so slightly in acknowledgment of the situation, then continue on
his way to the turbolift.

Chris followed him with her eyes for a moment, then returned her
attention to Spock ... certain that the Captain had already put two
and two together, and knowing there was nothing she could do about it.
Spock could talk to the Captain, later, if he felt it was necessary.

She stepped into the dimly lit quarters of their Vulcan First Officer
... she had been here before, of course, but not like this. Tonight,
he was dressed in a black robe that seemed to shimmer in the low
light. As he took a step to come closer to her, it parted, revealing
that he, like herself, was wearing nothing underneath. The sight of
his prominent erection caused her to feel slightly weak in the knees,
as her own desire threatened to overwhelm her.

Holding the bottle of wine before her, she said, "for later ... I
thought we could share this over dinner."

He took the wine from her, and absently placed the bottle on the small
table before pulling her into a tender embrace, saying, "yes ...
later." Then lifting her in his strong arms, he carried her to his
sleeping chamber, where he set her back on her feet next to the bed.

He stepped away from her slightly, after one quick, passionate, kiss.
He wanted to take things slow, to savor every nuance of the
experience, unlike the previous night. Tentatively,  he ran his hands
over her firm breasts, feeling her nipples harden through the silky
fabric.

As she did the same to him, he moaned ... he had never felt anything
quite so stimulating as the feel of the cool silk against his hot
flesh ... that is, until she lowered her hand, and ran the soft silk
over his cock. With an audible gasp, he froze, fearful that he would
come right then and there if he so much as breathed.

Of course, he did breathe ... albeit in short, gasping breaths. With
each pass of the silk over the tip of his cock, she could feel him
stiffen ... and soon, the silk was damp from his pre-ejaculate.

Spock had resumed his attention to her nipples, pinching and rubbing
them, making her more and more aroused ... with her free hand, she
lifter her caftan, and started to finger herself. She was incredibly
wet, and eager for him to posses her. She thrust her hips forward, "I
need you inside me ... now," she whispered fiercely, as she guided his
silk-clad cock to press against her mound.

"Yes," he gasped, as he forced himself to step away and shrug out of
his robe. As he did, she lifted her caftan over her head, and dropped
it to the floor. He took her in his arms once more, and gently laid
her on the bed ... kneeling between her thighs, and kissing her
breasts. As his tongue played with the tight nub of one breast, and he
rolled the other in his fingers, the tip of his cock was brushing
against her labia, teasing her ruthlessly.

She bucked and writhed, willing him to enter her, but he continued to
play with her breasts, driving her wild. She knew he must be nearly
desperate for release, and was starting to wonder why he was
prolonging it. Suddenly the thought came to her mind that he was
trying to make it last ... to offer her the full range of pleasure he
had felt last night.

With this realization, she felt the first spasms of her release, and
cried out, her legs wrapping around his waist, in a desperate attempt
to pull him into her. As she writhed against him, he shifted ever so
slightly, until he slipped into her tight, wet channel.

As he filled her, she bucked and moaned, clenching her muscles as he
repeatedly thrust deeper and deeper until, with a cry of pure animal
pleasure, he made his final lunge, and exploded deep inside her.

---

McCoy, having finished his solitary meal, sat back and scrutinized the
intermingling of the crew. Part of his job as CMO was to see to it
that the morale of the crew was maintained ... and from his
observations over the past few weeks, it was at an all time high.
'Well, for everyone that is, except the Captain and First Officer.' he
thought, as the Captain entered the room.

McCoy trusted in Christine, and knew that Spock would soon be back to
normal ... but Jim was another matter, entirely. Something happened
between him and Spock ... something that, apparently, only the two of
them would be able to fix. 'In the mean time,' he thought, 'I'll have
to placate Jim while Spock spends time with Christine.'

McCoy stood and made his way to the replicator, where he planned to
get another cup of coffee. As he came up behind Jim, he cleared his
throat, saying, "penny for your thoughts?"

"Huh ... oh, hi Bones ... didn't see you there." Removing his tray
from the slot, he stepped away so that McCoy could access the
replicator, adding, "where are you sitting?"

"In the back ... that table over there," McCoy said, as he gestured in
the general direction of his recently vacated table. Jim took his tray
over to it, and soon McCoy joined him, coffee and cake in hand.

They ate in silence for a while. McCoy was hoping that Jim would speak
first ... obviously, there was something on his mind, but he remained
in his own little world. When McCoy had finished his cake, he sat back
and sipped his coffee, saying softly, "Jim, I'm here, if you want to
talk about it."

"*It*?" he asked, puzzled.

"Yes ... *it* ... whatever it is that's botherin you." McCoy stopped,
realizing that his voice had been steadily getting louder. Not wanting
to draw attention, he leaned forward on his elbows, and continued,
"it's Spock and Christine, isn't it?"

Jim deliberately took another bite of his chicken sandwich, ignoring
McCoy's question. He then stood, picking up the tray with his
half-finished meal, and said, "Doctor, I have no idea what you are
talking about," and as he stepped away, he added, "excuse me, I have
work to do."

McCoy watched him leave ... positive now that there was trouble in
paradise ... and uncertain of what to do about it.

---

It was pure bliss, lying in Spock's warm embrace ... she could stay
here forever. She had longed for this moment for an eternity, it
seemed, yet now that it had come, she had no idea if it would last.

In her desire to be fair to Spock, she had told him that there was no
obligation to continue a relationship after the Pon Farr was over, and
he had felt that it was an equitable agreement. And of course, it was
... no matter how badly she wished for a commitment from him, she
could not expect him to suddenly love her, or remain faithful to her
out of a sense of obligation ... that would ultimately lead to
bitterness and dissappointment for all concerned.

She snuggled closer to Spock, her arm across his chest, her fingers
lightly playing with his taut nipple. Although Chris knew that he was
still aroused, he made no move toward her ... as if he were allowing
her time to recover. She was grateful, as she was unsure if she could
stand that level of intensity again so soon.

"Spock ... I am impressed ... wherever did you learn such a wonderful
technique?" she whispered, as she continued to play with his nipples.
He gasped, as she bent her head to suck one of the firm nubs into her
mouth as she pinched the other.

"I did some research ... after all, I had several hours on my hands in
which to prepare." She sensed the joy that she was feeling reflected
in his voice ... and as he turned his head to kiss her, she saw that
he was smiling ever so slightly. As she returned the kiss, she raised
her leg over his, brushing against his erection. "Ah ... do not tease
me ... unless you are ready for more," he said as he rolled onto his
side and pulled her into a fierce embrace.

"Actually," she said, as she gave him a bit of a shove so that he
rolled back onto his back, "I have something else in mind." She got
onto her knees, and kissed him deeply, then slowly worked her way down
his body. Her hands led the way, and were followed close behind by
mouth and tongue ... lightly stroking his lower abdomen, then circling
around to caress his inner thighs ... she deftly avoided touching his
cock, for she knew he would not last long once she did.

He had spread his legs, and lifted his knees as she maneuvered her way
between them. Bending down, she licked his heavy sac, then sucked his
balls into her mouth. He moaned and arched his  back ... she could see
the moisture forming at the tip of his cock, and she raised her head
to lick it off.

He was delicious ... she had never tasted anything quite like him.
Wanting more of the tangy fluid, she played her tongue over the
sensitive head, and along the double ridges ... she could feel the
heat building, as her tongue stimulated his cock.

She opened wide, taking as much of him into her mouth as she could,
then slowly pulling up once again, applying suction as she did. As she
once again had just the tip in her mouth, he bucked his hips upward,
forcing his cock deep down her throat once again.

Up and down ... applying pressure and suction, her hand adding to the
stimulation at the base, since she could not take his full length into
her mouth. She could tell he was about to come, and she pulled up,
once again using only her tongue on the tip, while her hand firmly
stroked the length of his shaft.

With her free hand, she fingered her own sex, coating her fingers in
her sweet juices. Touching her wet finger to his anus, she slipped it
in slightly, making him cry out as he came into her mouth. She
swallowed convulsively, savoring every drop of the coppery fluid.

When he was spent, she noted that he was no longer aroused ... it was
time for another reprieve, it seemed. She lay back next to him, and
smiled at the look on his face. She had never seen such pure joy and
gratification combined with a sense of wonder ... at least not on a
grown adult. It made her feel all warm inside.

Although completely exhausted, she was also famished ... as the
growling of her stomach soon announced to the room at large ...
luckily, Spock was the only other one here. He smiled at her, and
said, "dinner can be ready in ten minutes, if you would like."

"That would be lovely ..." she replied, stretching and rolling onto
her side. She knew she needed a shower, but was in no mood to get out
of bed just yet. Spock rolled to face her, propping his head on his
hand, and using his other to brush the hair out of Christine's eyes.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to take a shower ... you may do the same,
if you wish, while I prepare dinner." He leaned forward and kissed
her, then gracefully rolled out of bed. Christine pulled his pillow to
her, taking in his scent as she waited for him to emerge.

Two minutes later, he returned dressed once again in his black robe.
This time, however, he had a sash tied around his waist. "There is a
fresh robe for you in the bathroom," he said, as he crossed the
bedroom and out into the living area.

Minutes later, she joined him ... the red silk robe he had left for
her feeling wonderful against her skin. She noted that he had opened
the bottle of wine to let it breathe ... she crossed to the
kitchenette, and poured a glass for each, as he was just serving up
portions of their meal. "Is that T'ooRac S'MoorSum?" she asked, as the
aroma made her mouth water.

"Yes, it is ... I regret I did not procure fresh ingredients while we
were at Vulcan ... I hope this is satisfactory."

"If it is from the ship's replicators, it will be fine ... for
although it uses mushrooms and carrots from Earth, instead of the
original Vulcan vegetables, it is quite good."

"Yes, it is ... although I had been unaware that it had been added to
the ships menu until recently." he said, as they sat down to eat.

"I added it only a month or so ago, when I discovered this Earth
variation on the Vulcan dish ... knowing that there were very few
Vulcan foods in the ships database, and wanting to add a bit of
variety to the offerings." She lifted her glass to him, and he
returned the gesture, lightly touching their glasses together.

After taking a small sip, she set her glass down once again, and took
up her fork. The food was, as she said, quite good, and she was
pleased to note that Spock's appetite was as hearty as her own. They
ate in silence, savoring every bite of the mushroom and carrot
casserole, and every sip of the fruity red wine.

After dinner, there would finally be time to talk and get to know one
another on a more personal level ... and perhaps, just perhaps, they
could start to forge a more permanent relationship.

---

Spock dressed quietly, not wanting to wake Christine. The past two
days had been full of wonderful new experiences, including waking with
her in his arms. McCoy had given her time off, so she had spent the
days and nights with him ... hours spent in quiet contemplation and
sharing of themselves, getting to know one another on so many levels.

Of course, interspersed throughout the conversation there was the sex.
What had started as a desperate need to copulate evolved into
something far better. As the urgency diminished, his desire to please
Christine increased ... what had been frantic and rushed that first
night was now deliberate and restrained, and as he prolonged his
release, he apparently added to her pleasure.

As she fell asleep in his arms last night, Spock wondered if he
should, in fact, hold her to her declaration of no commitment once
this ordeal was over. After all, she was a very intelligent woman, and
he could think of no one better suited.

Christine stirred, and Spock crossed to the bed. "Good morning,
ashaya," he said, as he bent down to kiss her on the brow. She smiled
at the endearment ... never truly believing he would use such a term
for her, but more than happy to hear the word 'love' coming from his
lips.

She turned to look at the chronometer, then back over to Spock,
puzzled by his state of dress. "Why are you up so early?" she asked,
as she rolled onto her side, and pulled the covers more firmly to her
breasts ... his scent was on them, and she breathed it in, sighing
ever so slightly.

"I must report to Doctor McCoy  ... it is my hope that he will return
me to duty," he said, and then gave her a very small smile, as he
continued, "for although my time spent with you has been truly
marvelous, I do have duties I must attend to."

"I understand ... I, too, need to get back to work." She was a bit
wistful, wondering if their time together would be coming to an end
sooner than she expected. In all likelihood, it was, for although only
three days had passed since the onset of 'Plak Tow', she had already
noticed that the urgency to mate was no longer apparent. From now on,
he would be able to exert control over his needs and desires, allowing
him to return to duty, and interact normally with the crew.

"Do not rush to get up," he said, as he sat on the edge of the bed.
Brushing the hair out of her eyes with his fingertips, he continued,
"you need to rest, as I have not given you much opportunity over the
last few nights."

As his fingers brushed across her lips, she kissed them, then reached
up and pulled his head down to kiss his lips. She was pleased to note
that there was still fire there ... he may have things under control,
but it was not over yet. "Sleep now, ashaya" he whispered, as he stood
and left the room.

---

McCoy had left a message for Spock to report to his office at 0800 ...
and was pleasantly surprised when the Vulcan walked in at precisely
that time. He had half expected him to ignore the summons, but of
course, McCoy had left no option, really. If Spock wanted to get back
to work, he would have to comply ... there was no way in hell that
McCoy would certify him fit for duty without another complete
physical.

"Good mornin, Spock ... how's it goin?" he asked, as he led the way
into the exam room.

"I am quite well," Spock said, as he removed his tunic, then stepped
back against the exam table ... as McCoy tilted the table into its
horizontal configuration, the built in monitors went wild, as they
always did when Spock's vital signs were the one being read.

Re-calibrating the sensors, McCoy checked the readings against the
ones in Spock's medical files ... almost all of his levels had
returned to normal, although a few were still a bit elevated. As he
scanned Spock with his tricorder, to ascertain a bit more information,
he asked casually, "How's Christine?" and smiled as he watched the
hormone levels jump slightly. 'oh, ho!' he thought, as his
suppositions were confirmed by Spock's reaction.

Spock could tell by the look on McCoy's face that he had betrayed his
feelings for Christine. He could feel his body reacting to her name,
and knew that the changes had shown on the tricorder. In order to save
what little dignity he had left, he replied, "Nurse Chapel is quite
well ... she has been instrumental in my recovery these past several
days ... and it is my hope that she will continue to be."

"I'm sure she will ... for as long as you need her." McCoy said with a
wicked grin. As he watched Spock's eyebrow rise under his bangs, he
concluded, "I do, however, need her back in sickbay.  So, how about I
certify you fit for active duty, startin tomorrow - short shifts of no
more than four hours for the next week - and we give Chris the same
schedule. I'll expect her in the office in the mornin ..." his words
trailed off, as he handed Spock back his shirt, and went to his
computer terminal.

Spock dressed as McCoy entered his findings in his medical log, and as
Spock was about to leave the office, McCoy called out to him, "Spock
... have you spoken to the Captain lately?"

"No ... I have not. I ..." he stopped, not sure of what to say to the
doctor. The last time he and Jim spoke, there was a great deal of
tension between them ... of course, that was partially due to his
condition, and the fact that he had no idea what was happening to him
at the time.

"Well, if you don't mind my saying so, I think you should ... he's
feeling ..." McCoy shrugged, then shook his head, continuing, "hell
... I don't know what he's feeling ... but I think you need to talk to
him."

"Yes, of course ..." Spock left the doctors office in search of his
captain. If nothing else, he owed Jim an explanation for how he had
behaved.

---

Spock made his way to Jim's quarters. Most likely, the Captain was on
the bridge, but not necessarily. Some days he would leave shortly
after the start of the shift to do paperwork in his private office.
Spock was hoping today was such a day. If not, he would leave a
message, for he did not wish to go to the bridge at this time.

As luck would have it, Jim was there ... and not at all surprised to
see Spock at his door. Very likely, McCoy had called ahead to let him
know Spock was on his way. "Come in, Spock ... have a seat," he said,
as he gestured to the chairs in his living area, as apposed to the
'office'.

Spock made his way into the room, and took the proffered seat, all the
while feeling slightly uncomfortable. As had happened the other day
... as had happened so many times in the past ... he felt a tightening
in his loins upon seeing Jim ... but what made this instance so much
more uncomfortable for him was the erection that accompanied the
sensation.

He feared that it was nearing his time once again, but a quick
calculation confirmed that there were still several hours until his
condition would assert itself. Puzzled, he did his best to ignore the
feelings, and get through this long-overdue conversation without
saying or doing the wrong thing.

"Captain, I have come to apologize ..."

But he got no further as Jim interrupted, saying, "Spock ... there's
no need. Bones told me how Christine lived on Vulcan for a while, and
how she was helping you ..." and he stopped, as Spock's brow
disappeared. He cleared his throat, and continued a bit
self-consciously, "well, not exactly *how* she's been helping you ...
just that ... well ... she has, um ... been instrumental in your
recovery."

"Indeed." Spock tried not to smile ... obviously, Jim was ill at ease,
which for some reason Spock found very appealing. One of the things
that Spock had always admired about Jim was his self-confidence ...
but he was discovering that he was even more fascinating when he was
vulnerable.

Spock suddenly realized that he had to tell Jim what was going on ...
it was the only way to ease the tension between the two of them. "Jim
... there's something ..." but once again, he found himself lost for
words. He stood, and started to pace, distancing himself from Jim, in
an effort to focus his thoughts.

After their last conversation, it was quite apparent that Jim had
feelings for him ... and to be honest, he had feelings for Jim, as
well ... his current condition was proof of that. Yet he also had
feelings for Christine ... just this morning, as he woke with her in
his arms, he had vowed to himself that they would marry ... but now,
he was not so sure.

He had stopped his pacing ... his back to Jim, staring at a plaque on
the wall, yet not seeing it. After what seemed an eternity, he spoke
ever so softly, "I am torn ... I do not know what to do." He jumped
slightly, as a cool hand came to rest on his shoulder, yet he did not
pull away.

Encouraged, Kirk let his other hand drift up, and began to massage the
tension out of the stiff neck and shoulders, whispering, "relax ...
talk to me ... trust me, please." With his last words, he felt some of
the tension leave his friends body, as he leaned back slightly into
Kirk's hands.

Jim's hands moved down Spock's arms, pulling the Vulcan against his
body. Spock must surely have noticed his arousal, as he moaned ever so
softly, whispering, "Jim ... please, don't." yet he did not pull away.

Jim was not about to let up so easily, he knew Spock was aroused ...
he had seen it the moment he came into the room, just as he had seen
it in the past. Spock was attracted to him, as he was attracted to
Spock. He kissed him on the neck, as he asked, "Spock ...why must we
deny what we feel for each other? Why won't you let me in?"

Spock sighed, as he pulled away from Jim enough to turn and face him.
He reached up to caress Jim's face, then pulled him into a light kiss,
saying, "I am sorry, Jim ... it is not in my nature to love ..." and
there was a sad smile on his face, as he continued, "or to decide
between ..." he shook his head, unable to meet Jim's eyes.

"Do you love her?" Jim asked, barely above a whisper ... he had to
know, yet he didn't want to.

"I do not know," Spock replied, still unable to meet Jim's eyes. Jim
started to pull Spock into an embrace when suddenly Spock looked up,
"She saved my life! Do you understand that?" he asked, as he took hold
of Jim's arms, and pushed him away. He held Jim at arms length, as he
continued, "she has taught me so much. She has taught me to feel ...
to let go of my inhibitions ... to accept pleasure, as well as give it
..." and he suddenly smiled, releasing Jim's arms, as he added,  "and
yes, to love. I plan to marry her."

Jim's face dropped ... he had not expected that last. Less than a week
ago, he hardly noticed that Nurse Chapel existed, and now, he wanted
to marry her? Such a sudden change was so unlike Spock that Jim had to
wonder if he was still in the throes of Pon Farr. "Spock, you can't be
serious!"

"I am very serious. It is the logical thing to do."

Jim stared at him for a moment, then walked away in anger. After a
moment or two of pacing, he stopped and turned to face Spock once
again, saying, "the logical thing? Spock ..." then he stopped once
more, and took a few cleansing breaths before continuing, "forgive me
... it is your life, and I have no right to interfere ... but please,
don't rush into this. There are a whole universe of possibilities out
there ... don't settle on the first solution, simply out of a sense of
gratitude ... for you may miss out on something far more preferable."

"It is not gratitude ..."

"Are you sure?" Jim interrupted with a flash of anger. "You said it
yourself, that she saved your life ... taught you how to feel. Well,
I've got news for you ... anyone could have done that, including me!
She just happened to know more about what was happening to you than
the rest of us did. Now, is that a good enough foundation to forge a
marriage on? Especially when you obviously have feelings for someone
else?"

"Kroykah!" he called out, then regained a bit of control over his own
anger. "Jim, my 'feelings' for you do not factor into this at all, as
there is no possibility of a relationship between us. Why should I
give up a chance for happiness, because of desires that will never be
fulfilled?"

"Why do you say that ... you must know that I share your feelings."
and Jim walked over to where Spock was standing, and reached up to
caress one delicately pointed ear, as he continued, "you want to feel
pleasure and love ... I can do that ... just give me a chance," and he
pulled Spock's head toward his, and kissed the sensual lips, pleased
when Spock responded to the probing of his tongue.

The kiss was deep and passionate, accompanied by a great deal of
groping. By the time Spock pulled away, they were both breathing
heavily, "no, I can't do this," he said, as he tried to walk away, but
Jim held firmly to his arm. He could have easily broken the hold, but
his heart was not in it, really ... he admitted to himself that he
wanted to give in, to see what Jim had to offer, but Starfleet
regulations prohibited such a relationship ... and he reminded Jim of
that fact.

"Spock ... I don't give a damn about Starfleet regulations ... my
feelings are there, regardless of whether we act on them or not.
They've been there for a very long time ... this will not change."
Having said that, he released his hold on Spock's arm, and stepped
back, adding, "until recently, I didn't know if you could share my
feelings, and was content to keep them to myself ... but now, I know.
You *are* capable of it, and you *do* share them ... so I leave the
next decision in your hands."

Jim stood there, arms wide as if to accept an embrace, adding, "if you
wish to stay, by all means, stay ... but if you chose to go back to
her, I ask only that you be honest with her." Seeing the indecision in
Spock's eyes, Jim added with a bit of a smile, "I hope you will stay,
at least right now ... after all, I'd rather have had one afternoon of
shared passion, than spend the rest of my life wondering what I was
missing."

Spock raised a brow, saying, "indeed ... I believe I will stay, for
now ... after all, it would be illogical to deny our natures, or to
continue along the path I am going without exploring all the
possibilities," and with these words, they came together in a
passionate embrace once again.

---

Christine was a bit surprised that she had not heard anything from
Spock since he left his quarters that morning. Surprised, because he
should have needed her services several hours ago ... yet she felt no
compulsion or need.

When she had awoken that morning, he had not yet returned from his
appointment with Doctor McCoy, but that did not seem all that unusual
to her. After all, he was nearly recovered, and had not been out of
his quarters for several days ... it was only natural that he would
have a great many things to do, even if he was not back on active duty
yet.

Since she had not been in her own quarters for as many days, she took
advantage of the break, and returned there. She was greeted by wilting
plants, and a blinking message light. Crossing to her desk, she
activated her terminal, to find a message from McCoy, telling her of
his decision to return Spock to limited duty ... which meant that she
would also be going back to work in the morning.

The idea of returning to work actually appealed to her ... she had
never been one to want to lie around all day, no matter how pleasant
the company was. There were limits, after all, to how much pleasure
one can stand before it becomes tedious and repetitive ... although
with Spock, she had a feeling it would take some time before that
would happen.

Since she had the rest of the day to herself ... at least until Spock
needed her again ... she decided to get caught up on the medical
journals that Len had loaned her before all this started. She quickly
changed out of the uniform that she had replicated in Spock's
quarters, and into her favorite pair of sweats ... the ones she always
wore when she was feeling lazy.

Padd in hand, she curled up on her sofa, and began to read ... every
once in a while, making some notes, or highlighting passages to
discuss in more detail with Len when she had the chance. Engrossed in
what she was doing, she completely lost track of time, and only became
aware of the passage of time when her stomach growled, protesting the
lack of food.

And that's when it hit her that Spock should have contacted her at
least three hours ago.

She contemplated calling him, but decided against it ... if she pushed
too much, she could still push him away ... he was most likely testing
himself, to see if he could control his need, and would come to her
when he was ready. In the mean time, she needed some food, so she
threw on some off-duty clothes that were more presentable than her
sweats, and went to the mess hall.

---

"Good morning, Christine ... looks like you're back just in time,"
McCoy said, as he indicated the injured crewman on the exam table.

"Good morning, Doctor ... it's good to be back." She had planned to go
straight to her office, but seeing there was a patient, she asked, "do
you need my assistance?"

"No ... I've got this under control ... it's just that Perkins, here,
is the first patient I've had all week ... could be a sign of things
to come." He smiled as he set to work repairing the laceration on
Perkins' arm.

"Very well," Christine said, as she walked away, "I'll be in my
office, if you need me."

Just as she got to the door, however, McCoy called out to her,
"speaking of patients ... how's our Vulcan friend these days?"

She gave him a rather scathing look, as she said, "you tell me ... I
haven't seen him since he reported to you yesterday morning," and with
those words, she entered her office.

Ten minutes later, McCoy was at her door. "May I come in?"

"Of course," she said, as she set her Padd on the desk.

McCoy closed the door behind him, and took a seat. He could see that
she was annoyed ... probably not without provocation. Once again, it
would be up to him to defuse the situation.

"Chris ... I probably should have warned you. When Spock was here
yesterday, I suggested that he get together with the Captain ... and
you know how they can be when they get together." He laughed a bit,
trying to lighten the mood. "Hell, knowing Spock, he wanted a detailed
report on everything the ENTERPRISE has been doing since his
'incapacitation' started ... and chances are, Jim provided it for
him."

"But what about ..." she trailed off, not wanting to be too specific
about what she had been doing for Spock. "I mean, he should have
needed another 'treatment' late yesterday afternoon." She wouldn't say
any more ... she had probably already said too much as it was. Len
wasn't stupid, after all ... he probably had it figured out right from
the start.

McCoy's brow rose, much like Spock's would have, as he said, "Chris
... I can only assume that he is either 'controlling' once again, and
will eventually call on you for another 'treatment' ... or his
symptoms have diminished to the point where he no longer needs
'treatment'." He thought of a third possibility, but decided against
voicing it ... it wasn't his place to speculate, after all. Instead,
he asked, "is it possible that the symptoms have diminished that much
so quickly? I mean, from the exam I gave him yesterday, there was very
little indication that he was not 'himself' once again, but as I
recall, you said the flare-ups were always very sudden."

"Yes ... very sudden, and very intense ... although they were
diminishing. I suppose it is possible that he is once again fully in
control, but highly unlikely, given the situation."

McCoy was about to speak, when her comm buzzed. She apologized for the
interruption, and answered ... much to her surprise, it was Spock. She
glanced at McCoy, who took the hint and left the office ... she was
grateful for the privacy, even though he would most likely give her
the third degree when she got off the line. When the door closed
behind him, Chris addressed the image before her, "Spock ... what can
I do for you?"  There was ice in her tone, as she stared at Spock
through the screen.

Spock was not immune to her stare, and he lowered his eyes as he said,
"I ask your forgiveness." When there was no reply on her part, he
looked into her eyes, and realized that there was more concern there
than anger ... he was touched, and chagrined ... she deserved better
treatment than he had given her. "We must talk ... are you free for
lunch?"

"Yes, I suppose I am ... now, when you say we must talk, will you
...?"

He interrupted, "we will talk ... nothing more at this time." He
cleared his throat before continuing, "I must get back to my duties
... may I expect you in my quarters at 1230-hours?"

"That will be just fine ... until then ..." and she signed-off. She
sat back, pondering their conversation and coming to no conclusions.
Something was clearly on his mind, but it was not sex. He appeared to
be his old self once again, except for that last, when he cleared his
throat out of apparent nervousness. She thought they had gotten past
that. She had thought that they had finally gotten to a point where
they could start building a future together ... but apparently, she
had thought wrong.

---     1230-hours had come and gone, and no sign of Christine.

By 1250-hours, he was becoming concerned.

As the chrono clicked over to 1300-hours, Spock went to the comm unit
to call sickbay, but as he was about to activate the comm, the door
buzzer sounded. Turning back to the door, he called out "enter," and
the door opened to reveal Christine.  He motioned for her to enter,
and the door slid shut behind her.

The silence stretched out between them.

"Kroykah," Spock said quietly, as he shook his head and went into his
sitting area. He hoped that Christine would follow, but he did not
look back to see if she did. "I am having a salad for lunch ... what
can I get for you?" he asked, as he went to the replicator in the
corner.

"A salad would be fine," she replied, and he noted that she had,
indeed, followed him. She sat at the table he had prepared, and poured
two glasses of Altair water, as Spock brought their salads over. She
tried to look into his eyes as he set her lunch on the table, but he
avoided her gaze ... 'damn,' she thought, 'everything we built between
us has been shattered ... but how? ... and more importantly, why? Time
to find out,' she thought, but instead of asking, she said, "forgive
my tardiness ... but it was unavoidable."

"I understand ... I suppose ..." but he cut himself off. This was not
the time to reprimand her for not contacting him to let him know she
would be late ... not after his own lack of manners last night. He sat
opposite her, and sipped his water before continuing, "I, too, must
apologize ... for although we did not have any set plans last night,
they were implied ... my lack of courtesy in inexcusable, yet I feel I
must explain."

He had stopped once more, as if searching for words. Christine watched
him, completely unable to read his body language ... she found that
rather disconcerting, especially after all they had been through these
past few days. Covering her own discomfort, she said, "by all means,
explain."

He sipped his water once more, then said, "after my appointment with
Doctor McCoy, I went in search of the Captain ... McCoy thought we
needed to talk, and suggested I seek him out. We spent the day
together, discussing a wide variety of subjects ... I became
'preoccupied' ... and when I was myself once more, it was quite late."

"When you say 'preoccupied' ... do you mean ...?"

"Yes ... I do."

"But ..." she shook her head, trying to understand.

Spock could sense her confusion, and reached across the table to take
her hand in his. Once he had her undivided attention, he went on, "as
I said, I was with the Captain ... he ... helped me ..."

"Oh," she said quietly, looking down at their joined hands,"I didn't
realize ..." she could no longer meet his eyes.

"Nor did I." Spock said, as he released her hand, and lifted her chin,
forcing eye contact. "Christine ... you are very special to me ..."

He got no further, as Christine pushed away from the table, and stood,
saying, "Spock, there is no need to apologize for what you cannot help
... from the very beginning, I told you that I would not hold you to
any commitments ... and I mean that."

As she walked past Spock, he reached out and grabbed her arm, saying,
"let me finish, please ... before you leave."  He stood, and still
holding her arm, led her to the sofa, where they sat side by side. She
was stiff and tense, and he knew he had hurt her with his actions ...
he could not let her leave without knowing the whole truth of the
matter.

"Christine," he began, "as I started to say, you are very special to
me ... when I awoke with you in my arms yesterday morning, I was the
happiest I had ever been in my life. I was even contemplating asking
you to bond with me."

"Don't, Spock ..." she said, as tears welled in her eyes.

"Shush ... do not cry, ashaya ... I do not tell you this to hurt you,
but to explain my actions." He wiped the tears from her face, and
lightly kissed her eyelids. When she was somewhat composed once again,
he continued, "this was one of the things I spoke about with the
Captain, and he advised against taking such a step at this time. He
was concerned that I was only doing this out of gratitude, not love,
and that one day, I would regret the choice. I assured him that he was
mistaken ... but deep down, I was not convinced, and neither was he."

When Spock paused, Christine jumped in, saying, "Spock ... I would not
have accepted at this time, in any case ... because it is very likely
that a proposal, now, *would* have been out of gratitude."

"That may well be ... but it was not the Captain's only objection."
and once again he paused ... a moment later, he stood and started to
pace. In what appeared to be a sudden change of direction, he asked,
"do you recall when you were explaining the nature of Pon Farr to me
... and whether or not Vulcans were able to be sexually aroused at
other times?" She nodded, and he continued, "you asked me if I have
ever been aroused prior to the onset of Pon Farr, and I said that I
had not, although I have not been completely immune to those around
me. Do you recall this?"

"Yes, Spock ..." and with a slightly embarrassed smile, she added, "I
had assumed at the time that you were referring to me ... was I
wrong?" And when she saw the look in his eyes as he turned to face
her, she knew that she had been. "You meant the Captain, didn't you?"

"Yes ... I did ... although at the time, I did not understand what I
was feeling." He crossed back to where she was sitting, and pulled a
chair up to face her. Taking her hands in his, he continued, "that
first night we spent together, you taught me what it meant to feel ...
to share a part of myself with another ... to truly live."

He brought her hands up to his lips, and kissed the knuckles, before
continuing, "I had never experienced anything of the sort before ...
and the encounter made me understand what I had been feeling all along
for Jim. What I did not know was that he was feeling the same for me
..."

She tried to pull her hands away, he could see the effort she was
making to hold back the tears, but he had to continue ... "Christine
... last night with Jim was amazing ... and because of what we shared,
I was ready to concede that what I had been feeling for you was as he
said, gratitude ... I had intended to thank you for all you had done
for me, and said my good-byes."

She sniffled, as she held back her tears, "you are using the paste
tense ..."

"Yes, I am ... because when the door opened, and I saw you standing
there ... I realized that I had the same feelings of desire for you as
I had for him ... I am torn between the two of you, and cannot make a
choice at this time."

He kissed her hands once more, before adding, "it will be several
years before I must make a choice. I would like to spend at least part
of that time getting to know you better. Keep in mind, I will not tie
you down at all ... you will be free to pursue other options, if you
wish, as will I ... but I would like the chance to be a part of your
life, if you will have me."

"Yes, Spock ... I believe that is something I could live with." He
stood, and pulled her into his embrace ... lifting her easily, he
carried her into his bedroom, their salads long forgotten.

--- EPILOG ---

... and I'm glad this diplomatic mission is finally over. The past
couple of weeks have been rather tedious, and would have been
downright boring if it hadn't been for Spock's little problem.

Speaking of which, I was totally unprepared for his accepting my
proposition the other night. After months of hiding my feelings for
him ... then seeing him with Nurse Chapel, I assumed there was no way
in hell he and I would ever 'be together' ... but boy, was I wrong!

Of course, we'll have to be discreet ... after all, the brass tend to
frown on fraternization among the command staff ... to be honest, I
was actually pleased when he told me that he wasn't ready to make a
commitment either way.

There are still several years to go on this mission ... plenty of time
to figure things out.

~ end captain's personal log.

---

... it's so strange being by myself tonight. It seems like forever
since I had the time to write anything in my journal, but now that
I've written it all down, I still can't believe what has happened.

I've wanted to be with Spock for as long as I've known him, it seems,
and now that we have been together, I wonder if it will last. I never
anticipated having to fight for his attentions ... at least not in
this manner. But I have confidence that I will win out in the end.

Funny how I accepted his proposition ... it was as if I would do
anything to be with him ... even share him if need be. Only after the
fact, did I have reservations. Knowing that Len was probably the only
person on this ship besides the three of us who had a clue as to what
was going on, I confided in him the next morning ... I am pleased to
note that he doesn't see the relationship between Spock and the
Captain lasting more than a few months, at the most.

When I asked him why, he simply said "Jim is all for the chase ... but
it has been my experience that, once he has acquired his prey, he
loses interest rather quickly." I hope he is right ...

~ end journal

---

First Officer's Log, Supplemental ...

I never thought I would see the day when I was 'playing the field', as
Jim would say. But I find that I am enjoying this new-found freedom
that my sexual awakening has given me.

Although my Pon Farr is months in my past, I find my sexual appetite
has only diminished slightly ... and the variety of ways I have found
to satisfy this appetite are truly amazing. Not only have Jim and I
discovered creative ways to pass the time, I have found myself
attracted to several of the young ladies we have encountered recently
... of course, I did not act on the attraction with any of them.

It is strange, every time I find myself wandering, or thinking about
experimenting with another woman, my heart and mind returns to
Christine ... if it were not for Jim, I would bond with her today ...
but I cannot give him up just yet.

I know there are some in Vulcan society who have a t'hy'la as well as
a ko-telsu ... I wonder, would she consent to marry me, and still
share me with Jim? Perhaps in time, but our relationship is still too
new and uncertain to test that hypothesis just yet, I fear. In the
mean time, we will continue to spend several evenings a week together
... the rest will come in time.

End Log

---

The End