The BLTS Archive- Conversations Of The Plomeek Kind
by Suz Voy (suzvoy@tesco.net)

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Disclaimer - Paramount owns the characters, but they wouldn't let them
do this.

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He felt...different. Yes, yes that was the best way to phrase it. He
couldn't quite place the sensations because it didn't seem familiar.
Besides, he had just woken up. He was groggy.

Blinking his eyelids slowly open, they suddenly widened as he saw
Doc's face. The hologram was about one inch away from his own face,
frowning.

"How do you feel ensign?"

He tried to speak through the imagined cotton balls in his mouth.
"Different."

Tom's voice travelled to him from the end of the biobed. "I bet you
do."

"What do you mean?" He tried to get up so the Doctor moved. Then he
saw them. They towered before him like two harbingers of death of
destruction. Nothing could have surprised him more.

Ensign Harry Kim of the USS Voyager was now the owner of Seven of
Nine's breasts.

And they were a *part* of him. They weren't simply held in place with
a bra. They had been surgically attached. Why? Tears started filling
his eyes.

Despite the fact that his new breasts were weighing him down, he
managed to pull himself up into a sitting position and glared at the
people who surrounded him. "What have you *done* to me?!"

The Doctor began fingering the sedative hypospray he was hiding behind
his back.

Kathryn reached out and touched Harry's arm, comforting. "I'm sorry
Harry, but there was no other choice. Seven's breasts fell out and
they needed to be implanted onto someone else before they degraded
completely. We all know how...fond you are of her breasts. We thought
you'd appreciate it."

"But you didn't even ask?!" he wailed, looking down the top of his
medical gown. "They're not even the same colour!"

As Kathryn reassured Harry that the Doctor could change the
pigmentation, Chakotay spoke to the Doctor. "Why is he getting so
emotional?"

"Well, to ensure that the breasts wouldn't be rejected I've had to
give him a few injections of estrogen. It's causing a huge change on
his biological systems which is bound to result in out of character
behaviour. At least until his body adapts, anyway."

B'Elanna butted in. "Is it okay for him to leave sickbay?"

The Doctor sighed. "I'd prefer that he didn't, but if he must someone
should observe him at all times. Where are you going now?"

B'Elanna looked at the Captain. They both shrugged and spoke at the
same time. "Tuvok."

"Excellent. Then I will accompany you."

No one objected, and as Seven helped Harry down from the biobed with a
curious examination of his chest, he snapped "What are you looking
at?"

"I have not seen my breasts from this perspective before. I believe I
understand now why many of the crew find them so interesting."

"Well stop looking at them!"

"I am confused, ensign. You are clearly attracted to me and have spent
a great portion of your time when we are together looking at my chest.
Now that you have my breasts in your possession you are angry at me."

Tom had an idea. "Maybe it's his time of month..."

"Thomas Eugene Paris!! That was an incredibly sexist remark!"

"Ow, B'Elanna! Let go of my ear! I didn't *mean* it..."

---

Getting them all into the turbolift was no easy matter. Eventually
B'Elanna came up with the idea of taking the Doctor's mobile emitter
offline until their short journey was complete. The hologram wasn't
happy but allowed them to proceed. As Chakotay stumbled in he
accidentally bumped into Harry's breasts.

"Oh! Sorry Seven...umm...Harry!"

Everyone chuckled. Harry pouted. Sighing, Kathryn hugged him and
ordered the turbolift to take them to Tuvok's office.

---

His shift having just ended, Lieutenant Commander Tuvok approached the
replicator in his office and ordered a bowl of traditional plomeek
soup. A bowl without the 'improvements' Mr Neelix always insisted on
adding.

Materialisation complete, he picked up the bowl and placed it
carefully on his desk. Sitting down, he picked up the spoon handle
extending from the soup and brought a spoon-full up to his lips.

Someone beeped for entry.

Placing the spoon back down in the bowl, he called for whoever it was
to enter. The entire senior staff (thankfully sans Mr Neelix) walked
in, oddly enough in order of height. The Captain, being the shortest,
walked in first and the others soon joined her, one by one.

Merely watching as they stood next to each other in front of him, he
rested his hands on his desk, index fingers pressing together. It was
only when he saw Seven of Nine and Ensign Kim that he rose an eyebrow.
Still, such matters were not related to how well they worked, and
until that changed he would not enquire.

Janeway spoke. "I need your help Tuvok."

"I see. May I enquire as to what for?"

Grabbing the edge of the robe, she pulled it up. The others in the
room did not react. Tuvok's other eyebrow rose, and he supposed it was
fortunate that he was not currently experiencing Pon Farr.

Chakotay knelt and pointed to the device. "She wants this," he whisked
his arms towards the other end of the room "off."

"I...see. And how do you believe I may able to help?"

The Captain looked up and down the line of people to see if anyone had
any suggestions. They simply shook their heads or shrugged.

"Doesn't look like we have any ideas Tuvok. We were simply hoping you
could think up something...logical."

"What other methods have you attempted?"

They all started speaking then, until Tom placed two fingers in his
mouth and whistled loudly. That shut them up. "Thank you," he said,
before turning to Tuvok and explaining each of the methods so far.

The Vulcan sat in silence for a few moments, meditating over the
ensign's statements.

The others started to get impatient.

Harry spoke. "That soup looks good."

No one answered.

"If you keep leaving it there it will go cold."

"Harry," B'Elanna told him "he can always put that back in the
replicator and order another one."

"Thanks a *lot* B'Elanna," he hissed, hating the way his new breasts
made him tilt forward. His back was starting to ache.

"If ensign Kim requires the soup that badly then he may have it."
Touching the side of the bowl, Tuvok gently pushed it forward.

The human's eyes lit up. "Really?" Waiting for no response nor really
wanting one, he moved forward and grabbed the spoon. As he started
lapping up the soup excitedly, the others turned away in disgust.

"That's gross..."

"He doesn't usually eat like that."

"You are correct."

"It is simply another effect of the estrogen injections. As his body
adjusts he is going to go through changes in his eating habits to help
suppliment his new requirements."

They stopped talking as Harry began making strange noises. Quickly
surrounding him they asked if he was alright, voices filled with
concern.

That was when it happened.

That was when he sneezed. Right into the soup bowl.

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The End