The BLTS Archive- Down At The Doc's
by Suz Voy (suzvoy@tesco.net)

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Disclaimer - Paramount owns them, we play with them.

I am utterly depressed. I needed to write. Feedback would be eternally
appreciated (no pressure).

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"Please state the nature of the medical emerg..." the rest of his
habitual greeting faded into oblivion as the EMH saw who was present
in sickbay. Seven of Nine, four members of the senior staff (in
uniform), and the Captain (in a robe that was a colour that was
*totally* out of season. He thought it best to mention that right
now).

Being the most senior crewmember there, as well as standing in front
of the others, the Doctor quickly decided that that the Captain was
the person he should speak directly to. "Captain? Is there some kind
of meeting going on that I wasn't informed about?" It wouldn't be the
first time he had been left out of something important, but he thought
they would have remembered to include him by now.

"Not exactly," she told him "I have a couple of problems that I'm
hoping you can help me with."

"Medical problems?"

She nodded.

He barely refrained from tutting. "Then may I ask why the others are
here? Surely your medical problems don't require the presence of a
majority of the senior crew."

Tom piped up. "Well no, they don't. But we kind of all grouped
together and stayed that way. Right guys?"

"Uh hu."

"You got it."

"Yup."

"He's right."

"The ensign is correct."

Everyone nodded in unison. The Doctor wondered if they choreographed
it or if it was just coincidence. Brushing aside that thought, he set
about his duties. "Well then Captain, how may I help you?"

Getting up on the biobed without the Doctor even telling her to -
which was something of a surprise in itself - she told him about the
possible damage to the IUD.

He was quite shocked. "Are you sure you want the others to be here
while I scan you?"

By now they had all clustered around the biobed, once again
surrounding her as they had done earlier in engineering. Everyone
watched with a curious fascination.

"It's okay Doctor; they know about the chastity belt."

"Ah, I see," he replied, thinking no more of it and picking up a
tricorder from the med tray. He didn't notice at first that everyone
had stopped looking at the Captain and were now staring at him until
he opened the tricorder and began to scan her. "What?"

They replied together. In different tones, voices, levels of emotion,
but the words were the same:

"You knew?!"

"Of *course* I knew," he answered, pausing mid-way through his scans
"it's not the kind of thing she can hide when she has her yearly
physical. Zimmerman knew she tried though, that first year. She
devised every excuse imaginable to get out of it. At first I thought
it was just the stubborn Captain role she's come to play - they're
notorious for hating physicals. But as it turned out, she had a
somewhat valid reason for not wanting to be scanned."

Two thumps interrupted his story.

Seven's breasts had just fallen out of her outfit.

The two thumps were shortly followed by another one as Harry passed
out.

The EMH sighed. "You removed your breasts earlier, didn't you? I
warned you what effect that might have."

"You are incorrect Doctor," Seven informed him. "I did not remove my
breasts." She paused. "The Captain removed them while I was
regenerating."

"And I don't suppose the Captain would care to tell me why she did
that?" Moving next to Seven by stepping over Harry, he began to scan
her and then the breasts which lay on the floor.

"No," Kathryn answered "the Captain would not care to tell you."

"I didn't think so," he quipped, pressing more buttons as he knelt
down next to both mounds. Sighing heavily at the readings, he closed
the tricorder. "As predicted, because they've now been in contact with
a human body, the breasts have been rejected by your Borg systems and
are starting to degrade. I can repair them but it will take a while,
and until then they'll have to be transplated onto a completely human
body to stop the degredation. Question is, who's going to volunteer?"

Tilting their heads together, everyone looked at the still-unconscious
Harry Kim.

Chakotay spoke. "Well..."

Paris grinned. "It'd be a dream come true!"

B'Elanna rolled her eyes and pursed her lips. "For who?"

"Harry, obviously!" Tom smirked.

"It's not as if he can argue with the decision," Kathryn volunteered,
mostly because she certainly didn't want to wear them again.

"Yes Captain, but he cannot agree with the decision either," Seven
pointed out.

The Doctor interrupted them. "Whatever we have to do we have to do it
*now*, before I lose both of them! They're degrading at an amazing
rate."

"Very well Doctor, proceed."

---

Harry's operation now complete, the Doctor resumed working on the
Captain. As it turned out there was no damage to the IUD that would
affect its function at all. It was when she asked for ideas for how to
remove the chastity belt that his eyebrows rose. He'd had some time to
think about it of course; since he had discovered the belt's existance
he'd presumed that one day she would want help removing it. This meant
he'd had quite some time to think of ideas that might free her.

"I think we should cut you out."

"You mean you have something that will cut through this material?"

He laughed delightfully. "No, no Captain. You misunderstand. I think
we should cut *you* out. I should probably be able to reconstruct you
with a minimum of fuss afterwards."

Sitting on the edge of the biobed, Kathryn recoiled from him in
horror. The others present and still conscious did the same.

"Are you seriously suggesting that you cut me into several pieces?"

The Doctor shrugged. "Admittedly, it does contain some degree of risk.
But we have much more advanced medical techniques now, mainly thanks
to our contact with the Vidiians, not to mention the large medical
database Seven provided us with."

"I don't care! You are not cutting me in half!"

"Aww come on Captain," Tom tried to woo her "we could charge
admission!"

Chakotay's voice held a strong note of warning. "Tom..."

"Not choice about it," B'Elanna offered "we'll have to try something
else."

"I concur," Seven agreed, surprising the engineer "cutting the Captain
in half will minimise our efficiency."

It was then that Harry groaned.

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The End