The BLTS Archive- Leola Root And Other Small Tragedies
by Suz Voy (suzvoy@tesco.net)

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Disclaimer - the characters belong to Paramount.

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Exclaiming something between a sigh and a growl, B'Elanna did the only
thing she could. Reaching around Tom's body from behind she clapped
her hand over Samantha's mouth. It may have been easy enough for Harry
to restrain Naomi earlier, but Samantha was a lot bigger and B'Elanna
figured Tom could use the help.

'Like mother, like daughter' Tom had muttered. He turned out to be
right, as B'Elanna's attempt to shut Samantha up proved futile as the
young mother kept talking. Extremely annoyed, B'Elanna took in a big
lung-full before yelling "Shhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttt
uuuuuupppppppppppp!!!"

She stopped talking.

Relieved, B'Elanna withdrew her hand and then realised that Tom was
shaking his head. Her mouth *had* been awfully close to his ear.
"Tom?" she asked.

No response.

"Tom?"

Still no response.

With a growing sense of "oh shit" she tapped him on the shoulder. He
turned his neck to look at her. He seemed a bit glassy-eyed but
otherwise fine. "Yeah?"

"Tom?" she repeated.

Blinking, he shook his head again and released his hold on his
'captive'. "I can't hear you. I can't hear *anything*."

At the front of the turbolift, Samantha huffed. "Well if you hadn't
grabbed me in here in the first place none of this would have
happened."

"Oh shut up."

"Although your argument is logical, it is hardly beneficial."

"Your comment is irrelevant."

"Yeah Samantha, Tom just lost his hearing. You're not being very
helpful."

"What are you guys saying?"

Without much more incident they all managed to make it to the mess
hall without being spotted. And now that Tom was spared of hearing any
comment he might receive, he spoke just after Chakotay ordered that
the doors to the mess hall be closed with only the Captain being able
to override his password.

"Say Chakotay, I didn't know about your other tattoo."

Chakotay froze with his back towards Tom and no doubt said something
colourful that the conn officer was for once glad he couldn't hear.

Seven rose her eyebrow at Tom's obvious amusement. Despite the fact
that he had recently lost his hearing he seemed to be in tremendous
good spirits. Human behaviour often baffled her, but it was not
something that she should be expending time thinking about at this
juncture.

"I suggest we discover which of us currently holds the highest amount
of replicator rations and use them to create new clothing."

Everyone turned to look at Tom, who rose an eyebrow as everyone
circled him. "What?"

---

Kathryn walked in just as everyone was getting dressed, which was
quite clearly not the most dignified of positions they could have been
in. Smirking, she led the Doctor, Harry and Neelix in behind her
before ordering a lock on the doors once more.

When Chakotay saw who it was he quickly turned away and continued
pulling up his trousers. Pausing just behind him she placed her hands
on his still-bare back and whispered into his ear "Nice tattoo
Commander."

Chakotay smirked softly.

Tom, who witnessed the scene and had no doubt as to what she had said,
commented "Now why does he smile lovingly when *she* mentions the
tattoo, but growls at me when I mention it?"

B'Elanna tutted as she tucked in her top. "Well that's obvious. He's
not in love with you."

Seven overheard as she zipped up her temporary uniform. "The Commander
is in love with the Captain?"

"You did not know?" Tuvok queried.

Seven shrugged, or at least a close approximation of a shrug. "The
only couple I have had the opportunity to closely study are Lieutenant
Torres and Ensign Paris. Their relationship is vastly different to the
relationship the Captain has with Commander Chakotay."

"True," Neelix agreed "but that doesn't make the relationship any less
valid."

Harry walked over with the Doctor, breasts wobbling. "Just because
they don't share the burning passion that Tom and B'Elanna do doesn't
mean-"

"Burning passion?" The Doctor laughed. "I wouldn't go that far."

B'Elanna snorted. "I'm not sure I would eith-" She stopped
mid-conversation as she spotted something interesting. "It's a good
thing Naomi's not here."

Samantha frowned, although she was glad to finally have something to
say. "Why?"

The half-Klingon nodded behind Samantha and nearly everyone turned to
see Janeway and Chakotay engaged in a severe breach of protocol.

Neelix bent down on his knees to get a better view. "I didn't think
that was humanly possible. I mean, I knew Talaxians could, but
*humans*..."

"The human form is much more flexible than one would suspect Mr
Neelix."

"Commander Tuvok is correct, although there is obviously not much more
they can do with the chastity belt in place. It is imperative that we
remove it at once."

"And how do you suggest we do that?" B'Elanna asked, hands on hips
since Janeway had her hands on someone elses hips.

The Doctor piped up. "I still say my technique was the best option."

Harry shook his head. "Your 'technique' involved cutting the Captain
in half."

Trying to ignore the couple who had now fallen to the ground behind
them, the Doctor laughed, rather embarrassed.

Sudden inspiration ran rampant through the Talaxian's mind. "I know!"

"Woah, man, look at them go at it!" Tom yelled, only just finishing
getting dressed.

Samantha ignored Tom, pushing strands of her fly-away hair behind her
ears. "What? What's your idea Neelix?"

Surprised at her stupidity or apparent ignorance (or both), Harry, the
EMH, Tuvok, Seven and B'Elanna faced her and said the same two words:

"Leola root."

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The End