The BLTS Archive - Playing Heroes by Sasscat Bu-to-y (fitchett@netaccess.co.nz) --- Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom/Evil Incarnate or whatever you choose to call them own Captain Proton, Constance Goodheart and the nefarious Doctor Chaotica. Will ASC be saved from the clutches of their corporate scheming? Will Sasscat ever come up with a better title? Find these answers and more, by sending feedback immediately. Author's Note: If you haven't seen "Night" (as I haven't) you may be a little confused. I recommend Jim Wright's Delta Blues reviews, which are a wonderful read anyway. Enjoy! :) Archiving: ASC, of course. Anyone else, just ask. (c) Sasscat Bu-to-y 1998 --- Constance Goodheart faced Doctor Chaotica's evil robot henchman without a glimmer of fear as it warned, "Do not resist! You will be destroyed." "Extremely unlikely," Constance said confidently. "I have already disabled three others of exactly your specifications. It is highly unlikely that you will fare any better." "Surrender," the robot demanded, oblivious to its impending doom. "No," Constance said firmly. She ducked its waving claws, ripped open the panel on its torso and smoothly pulled out the power cord. The robot wound down with a plaintive whirr. Constance sauntered-- strode-- *walked* to a nearby control panel where her sidekick-- er, boss, Captain Proton, was working. "The robot has been neutralised," she reported. Proton looked up and sighed in exasperation. "Seven, you're taking all the fun out of it." "Fun is irrelevant," Constance declared. "You wanted the robot neutralised. I accomplished my task in the most efficient way possible." Proton rolled his eyes. "Sure you did. But you didn't *enjoy* it, and you certainly didn't add any plot twists." "Plot twists," Constance repeated doubtfully. "Sure!" Proton warmed to his topic. "Something to make things more difficult for the good guys. Let it take you hostage, maybe, or--" Constance folded her arms. "I have not observed you creating any 'plot twists', Tom." She continued without listening to his protest. "In fact, you fight as I do; efficiently and successfully. And you never permit yourself to be captured." "That's different," Proton protested. "Why?" "Well... For one thing, I'm the hero. I'm not supposed to get captured." "I see. I am to fulfill the 'damsel in distress' archetype, while you wish to be the 'dashing hero'." "Well... yes," Proton smirked. Constance regarded him for a moment then turned. "Then I will not play. Computer, arch." "Computer, belay that." Proton ran after her and caught her arm. "Seven, I'm sorry. Look, if you want, you can be the hero for a change, and I'll be the da-- er... Well, I won't be the hero." Constance looked at him. "You will be captured?" Proton nodded. "Yes." "Restrained so as to prevent your escape?" "If you want." "I will be able to dispatch our opponents as I choose?" "The 'baddies', Seven. And yes." "You will fetch me chilled beverages when I require them?" Proton hesitated... "Uh..." "Computer--" "Okay," he said hastily. "Whatever." Constance allowed her lips to quirk for a moment. "I accept." "Great! Come on." Proton started to lead her back to the control panel but she didn't move. "You forget, Tom; you must obey my orders now." Proton let go of her arm, looking slightly abashed. "Sorry." "Apology accepted. Shall we continue?" A brilliant grin lit up Proton's face. "By all means!" --- Captain Electra, clad in a sleek silver bodysuit and wielding her ray gun with a nonchalant air, calmly walked into the hidden headquarters of the nefarious Doctor Chaotica. "Hello, Doctor." Chaotica whirled at the sound of the door. "Who-- Captain Electra!" he exclaimed. "That is correct," she said coolly. Her sidekick, Constanzo Buencorazon, gave a muffled cry into his gag, struggling against the bonds which tied him to Chaotica's super-missile and ensured his fiery death if the weapon was ever launched. "But I saw you fall into the fiery mouth of that volcano!" Chaotica protested. "Lava is irrelevant," Electra said, straightfaced. Constanzo snorted softly. She leveled her weapon at Chaotica. "Release my secretary." Constanzo made a sound which could have been an indignant repetition of "*Secretary*?!" Chaotica, however, was not fazed, and brandished a small grey box. "This is set to detonate in five minutes. Only I can stop it. Fire, and your friend dies." Electra paused. "That is extremely illogical. If you do not release him, I will kill you." "And then he will die," Chaotica agreed. "So you won't hurt me, will you, Electra? Just toss your weapon onto the floor..." Electra evaluated her options, then fired. Chaotica collapsed to the floor, a shocked expression on his face. Constanzo rolled his eyes, but she ignored him. She knew she was deviating from the 'script', as Costanzo called it, but, as Costanzo also said, 'it had seemed like a good idea at the time'. Electra picked the grey box from Chaotica's hand. Red glowing numbers were counting down, presumably towards the launch time. She had less than three minutes left. Collecting her wits, she calmly set to work, and pressed the button marked "Off". There was a slight click, and the countdown slowed... then sped up again, until it was going even faster than before. "Oops," Electra said quietly. Constanzo spat the gag out of his mouth and glared at her. "'Oops'? Sev-- Electra, what did you do?" "*Captain* Electra," she corrected him, and walked over to him. It was time for Plan B. She pulled out her dagger and cut the bonds tying him to the weapon. Constanzo stood up, rubbing his wrists gratefully. "My hero..." Electra raised an eyebrow but made no comment, attempting to discern how she might disable the missile before all of Earth was destroyed. She immediately discounted the large button marked "Off". She was not going to fall for that trick twice. On the other hand, she had very few other options. With a slight shrug, Electra pushed the button. The missile powered down. Constanzo sighed in relief. And then it exploded. When the flash of light had cleared, she and Tom were standing in the empty hologrid. "I believe that was not the correct action," she observed. "Nope," Tom said with a cheerful sigh. "I guess being a hero isn't as easy as you thought it would be, huh?" Seven cast him a quelling look. "Do not moralize, Tom. In any case, you fared little better as a hostage." "True," he conceded. "I have to say, if anyone's going to tie me up I'd much rather it was you." Seven quirked her eyebrow at him. They began to stroll towards the exit. "There is one advantage to being cast as the hero," she said thoughtfully as he slid his arm around her waist. For once, she permitted the action. "Oh?" She stopped in front of the arch and said, with a hint of a smile, "One is permitted to kiss the beautiful blonde at the conclusion to the adventure." Tom grinned. Several long moments later, when they drew apart, he repeated, "*Beautiful*?" "I was referring, of course, to myself," Seven said blandly. "Of course," Tom agreed, and pulled her in for another kiss. And somewhere, in another space and time, the inhabitants of a small blue-green planet rotating faster than it should have been awaited the return of their heroes; defenders of the peace; scourges of galactic evil: Captains Proton and Electra! --- The End