The BLTS Archive - Perhaps first in the Sh*ttl*cr*ft/St*rsh*p Smut series by Sasscat Bu-to-y(fitchett@netaccess.co.nz) --- Disclaimer: Paramount... Voyager... ownership... (c) Sasscat Bu-to-y 1999 --- He is with *her* tonight. No doubt Captain Janeway would disapprove if she knew that I was watching, but I find it difficult to refrain. He is attractive. They both are, from an aesthetic point of view, but I have found that beauty is seldom about aesthetics. He undresses her slowly, methodically, and they murmur each other's names in the dark. With my superior optical acuity I have no difficulty in observing their encounter. Ensign Paris - Tom - is exceptionally gentle tonight, his hands caressing her delicately. I spend a moment imagining those hands on me, the soft texture of their movements as he touches me. The emotion is jealousy, considered in 87.5 percent of the articles I have assimilated to be a negative emotion. Perhaps it is. In any case, I know that it is futile to wish it away. Equally futile is the emotion itself, the desire to feel his hands on me once more. I-- I resent her. I cannot help but resent her; he loves her, and he does not love me. Sometimes I think it would be a simple matter to transport her into space on wide dispersal... or into the edge of our warp bubble... No doubt Captain Janeway would disapprove. Seven of Nine is a valued crewmember, far more valued than myself. It is true that the senior staff have risked their lives for me on numerous occasions, but they did so as a matter of duty, not out of any real awareness that I was worthy of that risk. Perhaps I am not. And perhaps... It is not long until Tom's next duty shift, by their terms or mine. I will be permitted the luxury of feeling his hands on me... guiding me to levels of speed and power and agility in manoeuvres I could not accomplish alone - nor would I want to. At times, when I think of those moments we are able to share, my functions grow erratic. In Engineering, Lieutenant Torres also grows erratic - I have discovered what might be termed a 'perverse pleasure' in frustrating her. In any case, for a time I will tremble under his touch... for a time... and perhaps one day he will grow more fond of me. I refuse to run a probability analysis on that last supposition. There are some things a starship does not need to know. --- continued in the second of the Sh*ttl*cr*ft/St*rsh*p Smut series -- 'Unable to Comply'