The BLTS Archive - Paradise Found first in the Paradise Trilogy by Jennifer Presley (jlpresley@aol.com) --- Disclaimers: Paramount owns the characters, the story is mine. Lyrics from "Truly Madly Deeply" by Darren Hayes and Daniel Jones (Savage Garden). Note: This is the first in a three-part series. --- 'I want to stand with you on a mountain I want to bathe with you in the sea I want to lay like this forever Until the sky falls down on me' --- 0245 hours. I hear her tossing and turning, unable to sleep. It's probably my fault, my 'Angry Warrior' legend affected her deeply, as I had hoped it would. We sat at the table holding hands for long moments, before she withdrew her hands and retreated to her bed. I sat there, hoping she'd come back for close to half an hour, before finally going to bed myself. Now neither one of us can sleep. 0312 hours. I hear her getting up, and quietly exiting the house. Should I follow her? No, I don't want to overwhelm her. I know Kathryn, and she wouldn't want me to impose on her privacy. Instead, I'll lay here, counting the minutes until she returns. 0355 hours. The door opens, and she tiptoes back in, shutting it behind her. I wonder where she went, but I don't want to ask her now. Maybe in the morning. That's odd, she's not going back to bed, instead she...she's walking this way. "Chakotay?" Her voice is hesitant, and she's speaking softly in case I'm sleeping. "Yes, Kathryn?" I sit up, pretending to have just awakened. She is standing mere inches from me, her hair down around her shoulders. She didn't bother to put a robe over the frumpy nightgown she's been wearing here, and her feet are bare. "I've been thinking about what you said tonight, about the Angry Warrior." There is a slightly confused sound to her voice, as if she couldn't quite believe in the message behind my words. I want to kiss the quizzical look off her face, it gives her such an innocent, child-like air. --- 'Oh can you see it baby? You don't have to close your eyes cause it's standing right here before you All that you need will surely come' --- "I meant what I said, Kathryn." I try to choose my words carefully. "I will do anything to help you, to protect you. I'll always be by your side." Hmm. Oh, what the hell. "I love you, Kathryn. I have ever since I first set foot on the bridge of Voyager." She looks stunned. "I...I.." That's got to be the first time Captain Kathryn Janeway couldn't think of a thing to say. "I don't know what to say, Chakotay." "Don't say anything, Kathryn." I climb out of bed and take her hands in mine. "I know you don't feel the same for me, and I'm not trying to force you into a relationship. I just thought you should know." Her hands are shaking slightly, and are cold. I rub my hands gently over them, trying to warm them. She tilts her head back to look at me. There is a faint sheen to her eyes, as if she's about to start crying. "I care for you, Chakotay. I really do." Her hand lifts, and gently she brushes the backs of her fingers on my cheek. "I just don't know what to do." "I know, Kathryn. I don't want to push you, but I can't hide my feelings from you any longer." I hesitate, then gently enfold her in my arms. She returns my embrace, before pulling back slightly and then going back to her bed. I watch her leave, then change my clothes. I'm not going to be getting any sleep tonight, so I think I'll go for a walk myself. The air is slightly chilly at this early hour, and there is a damp layer of dew on the blades of grass. I breathe deeply, then head towards the river. I've been thinking about building a boat so that we can explore more of New Earth. I think Kathryn would enjoy it. There's a large rock by the side of the river, and I climb up onto it, then lay down and watch the sky as it gradually begins the process of lightening into sunrise. First come the deep shades of blue, followed by purple, red, orange and finally yellow. The light from the sun overwhelms those of the other stars, and soon they are invisible to me. I wonder if that's how Kathryn feels about our enforced isolation, that the stars are now invisible to her. I know she is hurting, that she misses Voyager and our crew, and exploring the vast reaches of space. Even though the Delta Quadrant has thrown its share of punches to us, she still enjoyed the chance to travel where no other Federation ship has been before. And now, she is stuck on a planet, with only myself and a monkey for company. It doesn't help that I'm truly enjoying the experience. I know she can't understand how I can be content to stay here, to spend the rest of my life with her, cut off from our family and friends. It's easy. I'm in paradise, with the woman I love. --- 'I will be strong I will be faithful cause I'm counting on A new beginning' --- I hear her footsteps coming towards me. She isn't trying to sneak up on me, but instead is walking with a purpose. She sits on the rock next to me, drawing her legs up and resting her arms on top of them. "The sunrise is beautiful this morning." She turns her head a fraction to look at me. I smile softly at her. "I'm glad you came out to share it with me." She laughs. "Well, I couldn't sleep..." Her voice trails off, and she hesitates. "It's because of you, you know." I sit up. "I kind of thought so." A long pause. "I didn't mean to frighten you, Kathryn." "You didn't Chakotay. To be honest, I had some idea of your feelings." She sighs. "And I knew this day would come." She takes my hand in hers. "I'm glad it has." Now it's my turn to be speechless. I try to think of something, anything to say, but she doesn't give me a chance. Gently lacing her fingers in my hair, she pulls my head down and kisses me. Her lips are soft and warm, and feel wonderful. I wrap my arms around her, and return the kiss, as it gradually deepens. I can't believe I'm holding her, kissing her like I've wanted to for so long. Eventually she pulls back, and the smile on her face is breathtaking as she whispers, "I love you, Chakotay." Then, she kisses me again as dawn breaks completely over our new world. --- 'I'll be your dream I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy I'll be your hope I'll be your love Be everything that you need I'll love you more with every breath Truly, madly, deeply do' --- continued in the second of the Paradise Trilogy -- 'Paradise Lost'