The BLTS Archive- Friends and Lovers
by Terri Ponce (trponce@earthlink.net)

---

This story may not be printed except for personal use.  Please print
it in its entirety, including the header and the copyright
information.  If you wish to post it to a newsgroup other than ASCEM
or ASC, archive on your personal FTPsite, or web site, or distribute
it to a mailing list, please contact the author.

---

The characters contained within this tale belong to Paramount.  The
story and everything else contained here, however, belong strictly to
me. It's all mine, so hands off folks.

---
PREFACE
---

This story came about because I never really agreed with the
conception in the TNG universe that people can so easily brush off
anger, hurt or any other nasty emotion that arises between people.
And that they can, in fact, behave imperfectly and make poor judgment
calls in the process.

With that in mind, I threw Riker and Troi into a situation and
imagined what it would be like if their relationship took a turn for
the worse.  From there, the story just unfolded.

As a little primer, you should know that I base most of my Riker/Troi
history from Peter David's novel, "Imzadi".  Not only did it give a
background into the beginnings of their relationship (which the tv
series never really attempted to do), but it also helped me better
understand the inner-workings of the characters themselves and
discover that there is a new meaning for the word "traction"!  <eg>

WARNING:  This story explores the alternate side of Riker's and Troi's
relationship.  So, if you are a die-hard Imzadi fan, you are *duly*
warned.  Enter at your own risk. In addition, this story is *NOT
RATED*, for sensitive subject matter and adult material.

Oh, and many thanks to my partner-in-crime (you know who you are) for
helping make the writing of this story one helluva good time!

And, of course, feedback is always welcomed!

Copyright 1998 Terri Ponce

---
CHAPTER 1
---

When the alarm went off, Will Riker didn't wake with a clear head.
His mind continuously relived the events from the previous night.

Whether it was right or wrong, he couldn't be sure.  It felt both
ways.  The gods only knew he didn't want to hurt her...again.

Will rolled over onto his back and looked at the dark-haired beauty in
his bed.  Then began rubbing his fingers over his brow, debating what
their next step should be.

If there was one to be taken.

He remembered the last time this happened.  The circumstances almost a
duplicate of last evening.  Everyone was having a great time at the
poker game.  Laughing and joking.  Reminiscing and teasing one
another.  Just being good friends.  The synthehol easing away the
stress that any of them had been feeling.  And when it came time to
say good night, he kissed her innocently.  But somehow that one kiss
was not enough for either of them, as bittersweet emotions and
suppressed passion took over.

Years ago, they were able to push the event into their past. They were
younger and it seemed their whole life was ahead of them.  There was
plenty of time to pursue a career and chase other wants and needs.
And, easily enough, he put his personal life on hold.  By that time
she had become his best friend, and they both conceded that their
encounter was an isolated incident.  The result of temporarily losing
control in the heat of the moment.  And they proceeded with their
lives as usual.

But now Riker was pushing forty.  While he was still able to play hard
and work hard, he couldn't help but feel empty. His career was at a
standstill, and his dream of commanding the Enterprise seemed still
out of reach.  And his personal life was the same as it had always
been.  Sure, sex was as enjoyable as ever.  In some ways, even more
so.  But the constant change in partners was losing some of its
appeal.

But being with Deanna...making love to her...seemed to take that all
away.  The gods only knew how good it felt to be with her again.  How
good it felt to be inside her.

Will watched her slow and methodic breathing.  Her chest rising and
falling beneath the blanket.  And he remembered their time together on
Betazed, as short-lived as it was.  The days spent in the Jalara
Jungle where, for the first time, she called him 'Imzadi'.

He couldn't help but wonder if he was trying to re-live his past.
Attempting to go back to a time when life was more exciting and he was
less complacent.  Seeking to fill the void in his existence with
someone who probably knew him better than most.

The constant battling sent Riker's brain reeling, causing Deanna to
stir.  She stretched beneath the covers, trying to shake off the
feelings that had disrupted her slumber. Opening her eyes, she gave
him a fleeting look, silently surveying his emotional chaos.

"Good morning," she said lightheartedly, pretending his state of
emotions wasn't affecting her.

Will propped himself on an elbow, resting his head in his hand.  "Good
morning."  He brushed aside a curl that had fallen over her cheek.

Troi watched him, his eyes lost in a distant place.  Then sighed
softly as she sat up in bed, intentionally wrapping the blanket around
her.  It all felt strangely awkward.

"Will..." she began quietly.  "We have to talk."  She couldn't even
bring herself to look at him, suddenly feeling uncomfortable in their
nakedness.

He remained in the same position, knowing she felt just as confused as
he.  Attempting to ease the apprehension, Riker raised a hand to the
long, black locks tousled about her shoulders.  Then reconsidered and
dropped it back to his side.

And he immediately felt annoyed.  He didn't play games, and he felt
stupid for playing them now, especially with Deanna.  Will brought his
hand to her cheek, forcing her to turn and look directly into his
eyes, their brightness momentarily knocking her off balance.  She
didn't remember them being so blue.  For that matter, she didn't seem
to remember a lot of Will, in spite of the fact that she had known him
for so long.  So much of him was different. The beard and the fuller
physique.  The self-confidence and maturity.  Even his sexual prowess,
which had become more creative and verbal over time.

"We can talk later," he stated firmly, tracing a finger down her
spine.  It was more than obvious that Riker had made a decision.  And
it didn't involve thinking with his brain.

Deanna squirmed.  She and Will had done something they both swore
would never happen again, and they needed to talk about it.  But he
was handling his feelings in typical Riker fashion, and her logic was
quickly being replaced with her more primal emotions.

"Will," she said more emphatically.  "We really need to discuss where
this is going..."

He had now positioned himself behind her, his head still resting on a
hand.  The other insinuating itself under the sheets and between her
legs.  "Isn't it obvious?" he asked, as he alternated kisses with
gentle licks on her lower back.

She was weakening under his command as his warm breath fanned over her
body, sending chills down her spine. "Please...," she pleaded.  "You
have to talk to me..."

"I plan to," he whispered as he pulled her over on top of him.  "What
would you like me to say first?"

She swallowed hard upon seeing the devilish grin on his face.

His tongue outlined her nipples.  "I like the way you taste..."

He closed his eyes as he sucked greedily.  "I want to fill my mouth
with you..."

His hands pressed her hard against him.  "I need to feel every inch of
you..."

And he throbbed between her legs.  "And I want you to feel every inch
of me..."

Deanna arched her back and offered herself to him.  "This isn't
exactly what I meant," she gasped.  "We're headed for trouble."

"Don't you trust me?"  His voice muffled into her heated flesh.

"Yes, but...no."

"Then we'll talk your way later...and my way right now... "

---

Riker and Troi agreed to meet over dinner and talk things out.  But
instead of coming to a resolution, they fumbled over words instead.
For the first time ever they weren't quite able to speak openly with
each other, much less make eye contact.  Making the night awkward, at
best.

"Do you think we made a mistake?" Deanna asked, playing with the last
bit of chocolate sundae in the bowl.  She had already been burned
twice by the same man, and if she wasn't careful, she would be setting
herself up for a third fall.

"I'm not sure.  It didn't seem like it at the time."

"No, it didn't."  Deanna managed a weak smile.  "How do you feel about
this...about us...now?"

Riker leaned back into his chair and looked over to the bar, watching
the activity between the couples seated at it.  The answer should have
come easily.  But it didn't come at all.

Deanna felt more than frustrated by his reticence.  <This is so
typical of you, Will Riker.  Ask a question about your feelings, and
get nothing in response.>

She interrupted his silence.  "So where do we go from here?"

Riker caught the waiter's attention and signaled for a refill on his
drink, hoping another one would knock out the headache he felt
brewing.  And he wondered why their relationship had to be full of so
many questions.

Reflexively, he shrugged.  "Where do *you* think we should be going?"
He immediately regretted his reply. Deanna deserved a better answer
than that.

"I'm not exactly sure," she said, hesitating.  "Maybe we just need to
think about this a little more.  It wouldn't be a good idea for us to
rush into anything."

Will's eyes widened, and he began laughing at her last words.  It took
a moment before Deanna caught on, realizing they had known each other
for almost two decades and here she was worrying about 'rushing'.

"Well, with all this time already under our belts, I'm sure another
day or two to think about it won't hurt things either way."  Troi knew
at this point it would be better to just call it an evening.  Talking
about this any further would only make them more uncomfortable than
they already were.  She rose from the table and leaned over to kiss
Riker good night on the cheek.  "We'll talk again later."

He nodded his head and watched her walk out the doors of Ten Forward.
Then sat quietly, absently playing with the drink the waiter placed in
front of him.  Wondering if he was rationalizing his relationship with
Deanna way too much.

"She's not for you anyway," a soft voice stated matter-of-factly.

Startled, Riker looked up at the woman standing near the chair Deanna
had vacated.  A civilian.  And one he didn't recognize.

Their eyes locked immediately.

"Really?!"  Riker was instantly intrigued.  There was something oddly
familiar about her.

"Yes, really.  I was watching the two of you together and..." A wry
grin crossed her face as she shook her head slowly and with
conviction.

Before he could ask her to join him, she had already settled into the
chair beside him.  Pulling it in closer.

"Dr. Bobbie D'Oro," she announced, offering her hand in introduction.
"That's with an 'I-E'."

"Commander William Riker," he countered, noticing how warm and soft
her hand felt.  "That's with a *silent* 'W'."

Bobbie hesitated a moment, then tossed her head back as she laughed
heartily at his tease.  Exposing the full length of her neck to him.

"I must say that I'm at a bit of a loss here.  I'm usually up-to- date
on the guests we host."

"I'm hitching a ride with the Enterprise until we reach my home
planet, Antarus III.  I was supposed to arrive here tomorrow, but
plans changed and I boarded earlier this morning."

"You're the botanist..."  Riker remembered her bio from the manifest
he had studied the other day.  The Antarians were a human race, and a
good looking one at that.  Even if they all had the same color hair
and eyes.  Will noted that Bobbie's choice of profession was very
appropriate, as she simply blended right in with the elements.  Her
creamy skin, golden hair and light brown eyes accented the colors of
nature perfectly.  Her tall, physically fit figure well-suited for the
outdoors.

"I apologize for not being able to properly greet you," he added.

She raised an eyebrow, wondering exactly what a 'proper' greeting from
this man would be.  "Oh, it's alright, Commander.  Everyone's been
quite nice in making sure I'm comfortable."

"It's Will.  Please, call me Will.  And I'm glad you're being made to
feel at home."

"I am...Will," she replied almost musically, emphasizing his name with
a smile.  Bobbie studied the First Officer's form up and down.
Slowly.  Then added, "Your ship has much to offer."

Riker swore someone had turned up the heat in Ten Forward. "Thank
you," he replied, smiling at the innuendo.  "Is there anything in
particular that strikes your fancy?"

She crossed her legs, her short skirt sliding up as she allowed a knee
to rest against his.  "Considering I've just arrived, I couldn't say
for sure."  She inspected his frame more closely now.  "There is much
territory to scope out.  I'll be here for about three months.  Do you
think that will be enough time to get to know it well?"

Riker watched her eyes sensuously map out his body.  "It may not be.
Perhaps I should give you a personal tour, to make sure you can easily
find all the best places from the very beginning."

"I'd like that.  But be forewarned.  I have a tendency to study things
in detail."  She pulled her hair over a shoulder, letting it rest on
her breast.  Then began gently fingering the edge of the deep vee in
her blouse, which had been hidden beneath her tresses.  "You are quite
the officer and gentleman, Will," she added.  "I like that in a man."

"What else do you like in a man?"

Bobbie leaned towards him and rested her palm firmly on his upper
thigh, insinuating her fingers into the crease of his trousers.  "What
have you got?"

Will Riker looked down at her hand, then directly into her eyes.

And grinned.

---

The chime rang a few times before Will finally made it to the door.
It was Deanna Troi.

"I know it's still a bit early in the morning, but I've been
thinking," she offered immediately.

"Deanna..."

"We can do this.  I know we can."

"Deanna..."

She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him fully on the lips.
Never noticing his state of attire until she saw the figure sleeping
soundly in his bed.

This was strike three.

---
CHAPTER 2
---

Deanna stood frozen, gaping at Will in shock.

"I can't believe you!"  Her eyes filled as she choked on the words.

She didn't know who she was angrier with.  Him, for going to bed with
another woman so quickly after being with her. Or herself, for letting
another opportunity with William T. Riker slip away.

Will adjusted his robe to make sure it was completely closed, then ran
his fingers through his hair.  The day was not getting off to a good
start.

"What did you do, pick her up just after I left the dinner table last
night?"

Riker said nothing.

"I should have known better than to expect any sort of commitment from
you."  Her lips tightened in an effort to better control her angry and
spiteful tone.  "You have no self control Will Riker, and you're
turning out to be just like your father...emotionally detached and
selfish."

Riker's eyes narrowed.  Who was she to judge him? "Commitment?  I
wasn't aware we were at the point to be talking about commitment,
Deanna.  In case you forgot, you brushed me off last night.  All you
did was question me and my motives the entire evening and act like you
were uncomfortable with me, rather than just let things progress
naturally between us.  I've known a lot of women and I know what
uncertainty looks like.  You were wearing yours plain as day."

She stood silent, stunned by his monologue.  "I asked for another day
or two to think about it.  Was it so difficult for you to give me the
courtesy and wait?"

"Deanna, we've danced around our relationship for years and years
already.  I'm almost forty years old and I don't have the time, or the
patience, to play games anymore.  At this stage of life, a person
knows what they want in a partner.  Your teetering back and forth only
tells me that for you, it's probably not me."

Riker began to massage his temples.  There was that damn headache
again.

"I was wrong in thinking you had changed, Will.  And I think that
maybe my problem is that I expect too much from you."

"Maybe your problem is--"

"Did I come at a bad time?" a voice interrupted.

Deanna and Will turned to see Bobbie leaning against the doorway to
the bedroom, wearing Riker's spare blue robe that she had carelessly
thrown on, accompanied by the red high heels she sported the entire
night.  Her firm breasts were barely covered, and one of her legs was
visible to its upper thigh.

Troi found the sight offensive.  Riker soaked in the view.

"Maybe I should just get my things and go," Bobbie said, realizing
there was much more going on between these two than met the eye.
"Seems I'm a bit out of place here."  She headed for the main living
area to pick up her clothes that had been scattered in all directions
across the floor.

"No, don't bother," Troi answered, throwing a chastising glance over
to Riker.  "It's more than obvious that *I'm* the one who is out of
place."  She turned on her heels and headed out the door.

Will sighed loudly and began rubbing his forehead again.

"What was all that about?" D'Oro asked, deliberately dropping her
clothes back to the floor.

"Things got a little out of control between Deanna and me recently.
She spent the night here a couple of days ago after a poker game.  And
it seemed to have stirred up some old feelings between us."

"Old feelings?"

"We were lovers once, when we were much younger.  It was short-lived
and we eventually parted ways.  Partly because she pushed me away, and
partly because my career began to take off.  By the time we were
reunited on the Enterprise our feelings had changed, and we became
very good friends who were free to pursue other relationships."

"Then why did you let it happen if you just wanted to stay friends?"

"I'm not sure exactly.  I'm still trying to figure it out for myself.
And I don't think Deanna really wants to come out and say that maybe
we made a mistake that night.  But when she saw you with me, she got
possessive."

"Well, for someone who is so possessive, it certainly sounded like she
just gave you the green light to pursue me," she stated playfully,
toying with the dark curls on his chest.

Will looked down and watched her hands disappear into his robe.  She
had very talented hands.  He felt his blood pressure begin to rise.

"Yes, it did sound that way, didn't it," he said in a husky voice,
quickly forgetting what had just transpired in his quarters just
minutes earlier.  He untied her own robe and brushed it from her
shoulders, letting it drop to the floor.  Then assessed her figure
hungrily, remembering how good that body made him feel the night
before.  He pulled her closely to him, and kissed her passionately and
deeply.  Tasting the velvety depths of her mouth.  He broke for one
brief moment, his lips barely touching hers.  "So, Bobbie D'Oro, are
*you* going to give me the green light to pursue you?"

The Antarian sighed as he coaxed her down to the floor. Then grinned
evilly as his lips traveled over her stomach, down her abdomen, and
lower still.  "Will Riker, with me you don't even have to ask.  Pursue
me however you want and as often as you wish..."

"Smart woman," he mumbled, his face now buried between her legs.

"Will?"

"Hmmmm?"

"Lose the damn robe..."

---

Will Riker stood in front of Deanna's office, wondering if he should
give this another try.  She had made every effort over the past few
weeks to avoid contact with him unless it was something work-related.
And when Will did attempt to speak with her on a more personal basis,
all he got was the cold shoulder.

Riker mused that if it were any other woman, he wouldn't have tried so
hard.  But he had decided that enough was enough.  This was going to
be his very last attempt at reconciliation.

He stepped just inside the doorway and waited for Troi to look up.

"May I?" he asked, signaling to the chair opposite her desk.

"I thought you would have been with Bobbie this evening," Troi stated
sarcastically as she bid him to enter.  "Especially considering that
you two have been just about inseparable since you met."

Riker strode in and stood perfectly still.  "We do have plans, but she
just received a transmission from her father.  I'll catch up with her
later."

The room became deafeningly silent.  Ever since that night together a
little more than three weeks ago, the words between them were becoming
scarce and their relationship was spiraling downward.

Will considered leaving, then decided that, for lack of anything else,
he was at least going to find out what was troubling Deanna.
Certainly she could see that D'Oro was becoming a very important part
of his life.  In fact, by now it was the topic of conversation on
board the Enterprise. But it baffled him as to why she couldn't seem
to accept Bobbie.  Other women never bothered her before.  In fact,
she had always said that whatever made him happy made her happy.  And
he was happy now...

The XO could only surmise that there was something else brewing
beneath Troi's surface.  And he no longer wanted to keep guessing at
what it was.

"Deanna, how much longer do you plan to ignore me?  I realize you feel
hurt by what happened between us, but don't you think you're carrying
this a bit too far?"

Troi gave no response.

Will folded his arms across his chest.  "Are you going to remain
silent with me forever?"

"What do you want me to say to you?"

"I want you to tell me what's bothering you."

Troi bit her lip and looked back at her computer screen.

Riker was faced with Deanna's all-too-familiar brick wall once again.
His efforts to try and remain calm began to falter.

"You know what amazes me, Deanna?"  Riker's voice was stern and deep.
"The fact that you and I haven't been romantically involved for ages.
And yet you're acting as if we were married and you caught me
cheating.  You could have said no to me.  You could have simply left
that night right after the poker game."

"And would you really have accepted my rejection?"

Riker looked at her in disbelief.  "Yes," he answered emphatically.
"I would never make a woman do something she didn't want to."

"So, are you saying this is all my fault?"

"No, I'm not!"  He was exasperated, and knew this conversation was
heading nowhere, fast.  "Deanna, I happen to think you're a very
attractive woman.  You can't blame me for that."

Will started for the door, then turned to face Troi.  "You know what I
think...I think that you're not really mad with me.  You're actually
angry with yourself because you could have said no and you didn't.
You had a really good time, and then got cold feet and ran away.
Leaving room for someone else to pick up where you left off.  Just
like you did on Betazed.  Only now, you don't have your mother to back
you up."

Troi stood gaping at the doors as they hissed shut.

Once outside, Riker leaned against the wall of the corridor. His
patience was gone, having grown tired of their breakdown in
communication and the barriers Troi continually raised whenever he was
around.

This was exactly the reason why he and Deanna decided years ago to
remain friends.  To stoke the embers might be nice for a while, but if
they failed as a couple it would be disastrous.  For them personally
and perhaps even for their careers.

Will massaged his forehead as he headed for his quarters. Cursing
shipboard romances and trying once again to get rid of yet another
headache.

---

Troi paced about the room, upset by her argument with Will and utterly
exhausted from juggling the day's overbooked schedule of appointments.
Heading out the door for the turbolift, Deanna decided that all she
wanted was to be left alone with a hot chocolate or two.

She never saw Bobbie dart in the lift just before the doors closed.

"Deck Eight," she announced, occasionally checking to see if the
Betazoid was going to make eye contact.

Deanna stared at the wall.  Dr. D'Oro was the last person she wanted
to see, and she knew all too well that Bobbie was heading for
Commander Riker's quarters.  The thought made her stomach turn.

"I understand that you and Will are very close," the Antarian prodded,
trying to break the ice.

The reply was emotionless.  "I suppose."

"It must be kind of nice to serve on the same ship as your best
friend."

Troi threw her a look.  "Who says we're best friends?"

"Deanna.  Let's cut to the chase, shall we?  Will really misses your
friendship, and he's concerned because you've been acting out of
character lately.  He wants to know what's wrong."

"Have you suddenly become his spokesperson?" she asked, annoyed at
what felt like an interrogation.

"No.  But you've been avoiding him and me, and I happen to know that
it's bothering him deeply.  Don't you think we should all try and get
along?"

Troi shrugged, and her attempt to gain some self control was thwarted
upon hearing D'Oro begin to chuckle.

"What's so funny?" she asked vehemently.

"Oh, it's just something Will and I were talking about the other day.
About wanting the three of us to be on better terms."

"And what about it?"

"It's just that..."  D'Oro hesitated a moment.  "Oh, never mind."

"No.  You started something.  Now finish it," Deanna demanded.  But
something made her wary as to whether or not she wanted to hear the
answer.  It was the look on D'Oro's face.  Or rather, the grin.

It looked just like Will's.

"Well...we were talking about fantasies and stuff like that, and..."
She hesitated again upon seeing the uncertain look on the Betazoid's
face.  "Really Deanna...let's forget it.  I made a mistake in bringing
it up."

"No, go on," she ordered, sensing growing feelings of curiosity within
the botanist.

"Well..."  Bobbie moved behind Troi and whispered softly in her ear.
"Deanna, did you ever want to do a threesome?"

The Counselor froze.

"It's just that Will was teasing about how it might help ease the
tension between us.  And, well, although I didn't take him all that
seriously at the time, the idea does sound sort of intriguing.  Don't
you think?"

"No.  I don't!"

Troi's horror turned to complete relief when the doors opened to Deck
Eight, and she quickly fled into the corridor.  Then lost all sense of
composure when she met squarely with Will's chest.

"What was all that about?" he asked, watching Deanna rush down the
hall.  "She looked like she just saw a ghost."

Bobbie shrugged.  "Beats me."

---

"Are there any other issues that need to be addressed?" Captain Picard
asked.  His senior officers were exhausted from being overworked
lately, and he knew it was time to call their morning meeting to a
close.  The half hour long session progressed smoothly, mostly because
the staff was too tired to talk about much of anything.

"Yes, sir, there is one more."  Commander Riker swiveled in his chair
to face the Captain.  "Staff evaluations are to be completed in
several weeks.  You can expect a final report from Counselor Troi and
myself within two."

Deanna had forgotten about that.  She swallowed hard, trying to force
down the bitter taste that was developing in her mouth.

"Very well, Number One."  He scanned the group one last time.  "Is
there anything else?"

"Captain," Counselor Troi hesitated, "I'd like to request that my
responsibilities for crew evaluations be given to another officer at
this time."

Riker turned in his chair.  "Why?" he asked, hoping for her sake that
she had a valid reason to give the Captain.

"My schedule is overloaded right now, and the crew deserves someone
who can give them the time and attention they deserve."

"Deanna, everyone's schedules are overloaded--"

"I would appreciate it if you didn't patronize me, Will."

"I'm not patronizing you.  I'm simply stating the facts."

"And don't second guess my abilities.  I know what I am capable of and
where I need to draw the line.  As opposed to some other people on
board."

"Deanna, let's save this conversation for later, shall we?"

"Will, if you think--"

"That's enough dammit!"  Picard's voice bellowed, causing all heads in
the room to snap to attention.  "Counselor, your request is denied and
this meeting is officially over. Dismissed."  He turned to his XO.
"Number One, I want you to remain here with me."

"Yes, sir," Will bristled, a bit taken by the stern order.  He watched
Troi look pleadingly at Beverly, who was still shocked at her friend's
sudden loss of control.  She knew Deanna well, and she knew something
was wrong.

Crusher nodded to her friend in acknowledgement, silently rescheduling
her afternoon appointments so they could spend time talking.  Then
threw Will a reassuring glance before heading out the door with the
Counselor.

Once the room had cleared, the Captain seated himself on the edge of
the table, hands interlaced.  Riker knew from his relaxed posture that
their discussion was going to be off the record.  And personal.

"Will, what's going on between you and Deanna?" he asked, referring to
their earlier outburst.

Riker settled back into the chair, realizing he could really use the
Captain's impartial ear right now.

"I wish I could say for sure," he replied.  "Ever since Bobbie and I
became involved, it's like Deanna's become a totally different
person."  He looked back at the door Troi and the Doctor had exited
through.

"That much is obvious.  Do you have any thoughts as to why?"

"No," he answered resolutely.  Then turned back to face the Captain
and reconsidered.  "Well...maybe."

The Captain threw a perceptive look at his First Officer, which was
quickly replaced with a skeptical one.  "What happened?"

"Deanna and I were...intimate...recently.  It shouldn't have happened,
but it did.  And then Bobbie came along almost immediately after
and--"

"Spurned lover?"

"I don't think so.  It's not like this hasn't happened before..."

"You can spare me the details, Will," Picard interjected. "Did it ever
occur to you that maybe the Counselor thought your intentions were
serious ones this time?"

"No.  I really think there's something more going on here. But she's
just not willing to talk."

Picard raised an eyebrow and sighed loudly.  "I wish I had an answer,
or even some advice, for your situation."  He rose from his chair and
placed a hand on Riker's shoulder. "But, I saw Beverly leave with
Deanna in tow.  If anyone can get to the bottom of this, I'd bet our
Chief Medical Officer can."

Will laughed at the inference.  There was no way to get around Dr.
Crusher when she was in full twenty-question mode.  And he knew that
all too well from experience.

"But I do want to make one thing perfectly clear to you, Will.  Your
primary obligation is to this ship and your role as its First Officer.
And I will not tolerate any lack of professionalism like the one I
witnessed at our meeting this morning.  If it happens again, I will
make it a point to get personally involved in the situation between
you and the Counselor.  Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Very well, then.  Let's get back on the Bridge, shall we?"

---

It had been a long time since Will was able to take the afternoon off
from duty.  But in light of his recent hectic schedule that prompted
many late nights and early mornings, Captain Picard granted Riker his
request.

Bobbie lay in his arms, her head resting on his chest. "Anything in
particular you want to do this evening?" she asked, pushing away locks
of tousled hair that had fallen into her face.

"Nothing," he stated matter-of-factly.  "For a change I don't want to
think.  I don't want to worry.  I don't want to plan. I don't want to
do *anything*."

Bobbie lifted her head, a bit amazed.  "Well!  I never expected to
hear *those* words from Commander William T. Riker."

"Sorry if I disappointed you," he teased as D'Oro rolled over on top
of him.  He brushed a lock of hair back over her shoulder.

"You disappoint me?  Never."

Bobbie's eyes locked onto his, and she became momentarily startled by
his expression.

It was serious.

She swallowed hard as his gaze drew her deeply inside. They lay
together, neither one daring to move, with arms and legs entangled.
Both beginning to recognize exactly what was happening between them.

"Will?" she began with a bit of uncertainty.  "I think I'm fall--"

She stopped, seeing a smug grin staring back at her. <Damn, but he
could be so full of himself!> she thought.

D'Oro promptly changed the subject, and decided to discuss their
feelings in a way Riker preferred.  "I'll show you how we're going to
do nothing tonight."  She grinned mischievously and began to lick his
chest and stomach. Slowly making her way down to his bushy, black fur.

Riker gasped as her tongue outlined the length of him, and he
immediately grew hot and hard.  "We should do nothing more often," he
groaned.  He closed his eyes and began guiding her head with his hand.
D'Oro was good at this. And she made it clear very early on that when
Will was in her mouth, he could take as much or as little time as he
wanted.

Today, he chose to give up complete control to her mastery, and lost
himself in the frenzy of diving deep down into her throat.  His hips
rose repeatedly to meet the lustful mouth that hungrily devoured him
and mercilessly threatened his sanity.

By now his breathing had grown ragged and Bobbie's hair was
interlocked with his fingers.  Anticipation overwhelmed him as he
thrust his pelvis upward, with each maddening movement bringing him
closer to the edge.  His flesh tightened as he prepared for release.
His free hand dug into the bed and its blanket.  He was close.  Just
another thrust or two...

The door chimed.

<Will?>

Riker quickly sat up in disbelief, thoroughly annoyed and panting.
And he cursed aloud.  He took a few moments to try to regain his
composure and threw on a robe.  Then looked over at Bobbie who seemed
amused at his agony and was wondering how in the universe he was going
to hide this one.

"This better be *really* important," Will scolded as Troi entered his
quarters, oblivious to his state of discomfort. "You don't speak to me
for weeks, and then you pick *now* to show up at my door."

"It *is* important."

Deanna sat down on a chair, and stared blankly out the viewport as
Will settled into the sofa, trying with much difficulty to fight his
frustration.

D'Oro peeked out from the bedroom, then hastily dressed.

"Looks like you two need some time alone," Bobbie announced as she
made her way towards the First Officer. "We'll catch up later," she
said, kissing him lightly on the lips before heading for the
arboretum.

Riker nodded and watched her leave his quarters.

<I've fallen in love with you too...> he thought as the doors shut
behind her.

Will turned back to Deanna and was startled by the emotional state she
was in.  It contrasted so sharply with the contentment he had been
feeling lately.  Tears streamed freely down her cheeks.

Riker rose from the sofa, knelt down on the floor in front of her, and
took her hands in his.  His voice was soft and compassionate.

"What's wrong, Deanna?"

She rubbed away some of the tears, smudging mascara across her face.
"It all makes sense now."

"What makes sense?"

"Why I kept feeling so angry with you."

The tears broke out in full force now.

"Will...I'm pregnant."

---
CHAPTER 3
---

Bobbie practically bowled over Will when he entered her guest
quarters.

"I was hoping you wouldn't be too long," she said breathlessly,
tugging at his clothing in an attempt to quickly remove them.

Riker tried several times to gently push her away, but his attacker
didn't get the message.  At least not until he stood perfectly still.

"What is it?" she asked, confused as the XO freed himself from her
grip.

"We have to talk."  The expression on his face was deadly serious.

Bobbie took a few cautious steps backward.  "I don't think I like the
sound of that," she stated, now realizing this probably had something
to do with the Betazoid.

"I think that, at this point in time, we should take a break from each
other."

Bobbie folded her arms tightly across her chest.  "Why!?  I thought
things were going so well between us."

"They are, but..."  Will took her hand in his to try and soften the
blow.  "Deanna's pregnant."

D'Oro sank into the chair, weighted down with a feeling of dread.
Then quickly sprang back up and began pacing the floor.

"I should have known this was too good to be true.  I've finally
fallen in love with man who I connect with in every way possible.
Began sharing my life with someone who makes everything feel so right.
And now...this!"  Bobbie clenched her fists, determined to try and
keep a cool head. If she didn't, she was afraid she'd nail Riker right
in the jaw.

Will remained silent, knowing she had every right to feel angry for
his pulling the rug right out from under her.

"Well, I guess that explains her behavior of late," she said as her
eyebrows knit together tightly.  "So.  What did you two decide to do?"

"We haven't decided on anything because we really didn't have time to
talk.  Almost immediately after Deanna broke the news, I was summoned
back to the Bridge."  It was then that D'Oro noticed the First Officer
was back in uniform. "By the time I finished with the Captain, Deanna
was in with a late appointment."

Will watched Bobbie's body language soften as she began to play with
the delicate, pink flowers that adorned a nearby table.  The ones he
had brought to her room once he found out they were her favorite.  He
remembered how incredibly pleased she was to get them, and how
incredibly pleased he was after she thanked him, all night long.

He reached out a hand and guided D'Oro to face him.  But she wouldn't
meet his gaze.  Those baby blues seemed to do the damnedest things to
her, and right now she needed all the strength she could gather.

"Look at me," he commanded.  "I have to do this.  At least for now."

"Because of her?"

"That's one reason.  You're the other."

Bobbie hated that she was now being referred to as 'the other'.  "What
are you waiting for?" she asked testily, now looking him squarely in
the eyes.  "To see which one of us drops their clothes to the floor
first and then offers herself to you?"

"That was out of line."

"Oh?  Well, at least my sex drive doesn't go getting me into trouble
like it does you.  Seems you wouldn't be in this predicament if you
had thought with your brain instead of--"

"That's enough!"  Riker's eyes narrowed and darkened. "And I wouldn't
go comparing libidos here, Bobbie.  Yours gets a life of its own too
sometimes."

He knew it was time to cut the conversation short, before they both
said things they would really regret.  "I understand why you're
angry," he continued in a calmer tone, "but maybe we should talk more
when we're all thinking more clearly."

"Oh, *I'm* thinking clearly, Will Riker.  But it appears that you and
Deanna aren't.  Because neither one of you is willing to face reality
and say what's *really* on your minds about each other.  And now
you've gotten me tossed right in the middle of it."

---

Hours later, Will sat in Ten Forward and nursed his drink. Thinking
over and over about what Bobbie had said.  Were he and Deanna facing
reality or were they hiding from it? Were they being completely honest
about their feelings for one another?  Or were they just rationalizing
them?

Caught up in his thoughts about the baby and his relationships with
Bobbie and Deanna, Riker never noticed a man sit down opposite him at
the table.  At least not until a waiter scurried over to dote on the
officer with four pips on his collar.

The Captain shook his head at the steward, then looked directly at his
First Officer.

"I heard the news."

"Seems just about everyone on board has by now."  He took a sip from
his drink.  "Small ship," he stated flippantly.

"Are you alright?"

Will's gaze scanned the bar, then settled on Picard.  "I've been
better."

"Care to talk about it?"

Riker shook his head at first, then quickly changed his mind.  "I'm
not sure what I'm supposed to do, Captain.  Or rather, I know what I'm
supposed to do.  But I'm not sure it's the same thing as what I want."

"I take it that you and Deanna haven't really talked yet?"

"No."  He looked squarely at his Commanding Officer. "But Bobbie and I
sure did.  She said I wasn't facing reality about my feelings for
Deanna, and I'm beginning to wonder if she's got a point."

Picard looked at his XO, and didn't envy him for being in it so deep.
Then tugged on his uniform.  "I have no answers for you, Will.  But,
it appears that you need to determine what your relationship with
Deanna boils down to.  If you can figure out why you pursued one
another again, truthfully, then you'll probably find the solution
you're looking for."

The revelation hit Riker almost immediately.  "But, the
variables...Bobbie, Deanna, the baby...they're not going to make any
decision easy."

"I would imagine not.  Especially when I got the distinct impression
that, if the circumstances were different, Bobbie might very well have
become a more permanent addition to your life."

Riker simply cocked his head in acknowledgement, and took another
drink from his glass.

The Captain watched his First Officer's body language closely, then
decided that it was time to change the subject. "By the way, Will, I'm
providing shore leave for the crew when the Enterprise reaches Janus
tomorrow.  Everyone's been putting in long hours, and I think they
deserve some time off."

"Janus."  Will nodded in remembering the planet.  It had been in a
state of civil war for decades until almost fifteen years ago when its
inhabitants finally agreed to a peace treaty.  And now, its people
were reaping the financial rewards from the constant stream of
transients who visited there.

"Have you ever been there?"

"When I served on the Potemkin.  It's quite a beautiful place,
Captain."

"Really?  Then you'll be able to admire its beauty once again."

"Sir?"

"As of right now, I am placing you on leave, Will."

"Captain, I don't think it's necessary.  I've got plenty of work to
catch up on.  And I could use the peace and quiet to get it done."

"The work can wait, I'm sure.  Right now the only place I want you to
get peace and quiet is on Janus."

Riker was about to protest, then realized his efforts would probably
be futile.

"I need a First Officer with a clear head, Will.  And personally, I
think the only way you'll get it is if you're off this ship."

The Captain rose from the table and began chuckling. "Besides, my
alternative plan is to let Dr. Crusher loose on you, and I don't think
you want her to find you unfit for duty.  You certainly don't need any
other difficult variables tossed out at you right now."

Riker smiled, then watched Picard walk away.  And realized that man
was more of a father to him than his own ever had been.

He sat a while longer, thinking.  Then finished the rest of his drink
and headed back to his room where he would wait for Troi.

Tonight, he thought, the truth would come out.

---

Will signaled for Deanna to come in.

"I'm sorry," she said.  "That last appointment ran a lot longer than I
had expected."

Troi looked around Riker's quarters a moment.  It had been a long time
since she last set foot in it.

"Deanna, we have to talk about a few things," he began, prompting her
to sit down in a chair opposite the one he had  taken.  He leaned
forward and rested his elbows on his knees.  "What is it exactly that
you want from me?"

"I'm not asking for anything from you right now, Will.  We have a lot
of thinking to do and questions that need to be answered."

"Yes we do, but that's not what I mean."  He pulled his chair in
closer, his blue eyes looking directly into her dark ones. Now
noticing how very tired and pale the pregnancy made her look.  "Why
did you stay with me that night after the poker game?  Or, for that
matter, the morning after?"

"I could ask the same thing of you."

"Yes, you could."  Riker already knew his reasons.  But he wanted to
know hers.  His eyes narrowed as they studied the changing expression
on her face, and then he broke the momentary silence between them.
"You're the Counselor, Deanna.  Surely you can tell me."

"I'm not certain why we did it," she stumbled.

He knew she was purposefully evading the answer.  "I'm not asking why
*we* did it.  I'm asking why *you* did it."

Troi didn't like where this line of questioning was leading, and she
suddenly began to feel uneasy in Will's presence. His stature alone
was imposing, but when his expression turned intent, he was downright
intimidating.  And now he was taking control of the conversation, and
forcing her hand.

It didn't take long for her to concede, and instantaneously she
flooded Riker with thoughts and feelings about the course of their
relationship all these years.  The excitement she felt when they first
met and made love in the Jalara Jungle...her first time with a man.
The pain of pushing him away and finding him with another woman, only
to watch him leave shortly after to pursue his career.  The confusion
in meeting him again on the Enterprise, and the subsequent happiness
in becoming one another's best friend.  And then, emptiness.

"You miss what we were and what we had on Betazed?"

She nodded her head, confirming his suspicions.

"And you want it back."  Will sighed, then looked past her as he
watched the stars outside the viewport.  Stroking the sides of his
beard.  "Deanna, that was a long time ago. Things have changed and
*we* have changed."

"I know, but somehow I thought..."  She collected herself a moment
before continuing.  "Sometimes I wonder what it might have been like
if things turned out differently between us.  If I hadn't pushed you
away and you had never left Betazed.  And there are times I'm not so
sure you and I have been completely happy with the decisions we've
made."

"Maybe not," he replied.  "But it doesn't change the fact that, no
matter how hard you try, you can never go back. We can never be what
we were again, Deanna.  We can be something else, even as a couple,
but not in exactly the same way."

She didn't like hearing those words, but knew they were the truth.
Then felt the need to clarify something he had said.

"Are you saying we should be a couple again?"

He didn't answer.  And Troi suddenly regretted asking the question.

"Will, where do we go from here?  We're expecting a baby, and...and
you're in love with Bobbie."

His silence told her that there were no immediate answers.

Troi rose from her chair and crawled into Will's lap, where he cradled
her in a quiet embrace for a long, long while.

---
CHAPTER 4
---

The next afternoon, Will Riker felt that he could really use the
vacation.  He hadn't slept well last night, and spent most of it
tossing and turning, thinking about Deanna and Bobbie.  While Will had
never been torn between two women like this before, he knew a decision
was not going to come easily.  By now, though, Riker was certain of at
least one thing.  No matter what, he would never disappear from his
child's life the way his father had done in his.

He headed down the corridor to Bobbie's quarters and waited for her to
answer his chime.

"Care to beam down with me?" he asked as she stood in the doorway.

She threw him a circumspect glance.  "What did you do...check to see
if I was still on board before you decided to leave?"

"Only because I knew you would be waiting to see if I would come for
you," he responded with a grin.

She owned up with a low mumble, then grabbed a small bag to take with
her.  "I thought you didn't want to see me anymore."

"I never said that and you know it."  Riker watched D'Oro exit the
room, appreciating how she looked in the navy linen shorts she wore
with a white button down blouse, tied at the waist.  Watching her hips
sway as she headed for the turbolift.

"Plan to stand there all day and admire my legs?" she tossed back at
him.

He grinned again, then caught up quickly.  Riker motioned for her to
enter the lift first, and ordered it to its destination.

"I thought you would have beamed down with Deanna instead."

"But I didn't."

His quick answer caught Bobbie off guard, and she stood silent a
moment before continuing.  "Did you two have a chance to talk last
night?" she asked, silently acknowledging that she liked how his blue
shirt highlighted his eyes.  And how she wanted to rip it, and his
black slacks, right from his body.

"Sort of."

D'Oro knew his indirect answer meant he hadn't made a decision yet.
"You really love her, don't you."

He nodded.  "Yes.  Since just about the day I met her."

That was the last they spoke until beaming down to Janus.

---

When they arrived planetside, Riker immediately surveyed the
surroundings.  And he couldn't have been more pleased. The inn that
was accommodating the crew was open and airy, and impeccably
luxurious.  Dozens of French doors surrounded the large main lobby,
which were opened wide to let in a light, warm breeze.  Each serving
as a picture frame for the colorful foliage outside.  Small tables and
chairs were placed near each of the doors, some occupied by couples
who could have cared less about the world around them.  Others used by
guests who simply wanted to take in the breathtaking view.  Scattered
about were tall potted plants, their large leaves gently swaying with
the breeze.

"Nostalgic, isn't it?" a voice interrupted.

Will turned to see a large desk behind him, occupied by a slightly
younger man whose thick, dark hair had been slicked back into a pony
tail.

"Visitors seem to really go for this late-twentieth century Earth
décor," the man added.  His voice hinted of a subtle accent, the
origins of which the Commander couldn't place.

"The name's Riker," the XO prompted immediately.

"Ah, yes," the clerk nodded his head.  "We've been expecting you, Mr.
and Mrs. Riker."

<Mr. and Mrs. Riker?> Will mouthed to Bobbie with a raised eyebrow.

She tossed him a wide grin, making it more than obvious that she had
this whole thing planned out from the beginning.

"Your suite is just outside the doors.  Turn left and go to the end."
The man motioned the direction with his hand.  "It has a beautiful
view, except I would imagine you won't be seeing that much of it while
you're here," he winked.

D'Oro sauntered towards the doors.  A hand grabbed at Riker's wrist
before he could follow.  "This was left for you," the clerk added,
handing over a folded note to his guest.  "You don't waste any time,
do you?" he inquired devilishly.

Will stuffed the note into his shirt pocket, puzzled by the man's
reaction.  Then headed for his room, where D'Oro was already stretched
out across a liberally pillowed sofa.

"You seem to have an agenda," the XO prodded, dropping his bag to the
floor.  "And this isn't what I meant when I said we should take a
break from each other."  He settled into a thickly cushioned,
high-backed chair next to her, which offered a full view of the
oversized suite's gracious and rich appointments.

She sat up, defensively.  "What did you think?  That after yesterday I
was just going to sit idly by and wait for you and your Betazoid to
come to a decision?"

"She has a name, Bobbie," he admonished.  "And no, I didn't expect
that.  But I did expect you to understand that I needed time to be
alone to make some decisions."

D'Oro slid off the couch and onto his lap, straddling him.  "I thought
I could help speed up your decision-making process," she whispered,
nuzzling her head into his neck.

Will gently pushed her back, closely studying the expression on her
face.  "You have to get another room."

"I can't," she replied, meeting his gaze.

"Why not?"

"Because there are none left."

"How convenient."

Will thought a while about the situation, ignoring the fact that
Bobbie was now tugging the shirt out of his pants. "This room has just
one bedroom and you can have it.  I'll take the couch," he said in a
determined voice.  "Or, better yet, maybe you can just move in with
one of the other female officers who are staying here."

"Oh come on, now.  We don't have to go to extremes."  Her voice
sounded breathless as she unzipped his pants and began insinuating a
hand inside.

She didn't get far.  "Bobbie, I need time.  Alone."  He pulled her
hand out and closed his trousers.  "And while sex may have gotten me
the first time around, it won't for the second."

Bobbie sat back on his thighs and conceded, knowing it was a dirty
trick that she had pulled.  As she leaned her hands on Riker's chest
to kiss him in apology, D'Oro heard a crumpling noise come from inside
the pocket.

"What's this?" she asked, quickly removing the note.

She pushed his hand away as he tried to take it back, and read it
aloud.  "Will.  Meet me at the south edge of the great lawn at 1700 so
we can continue where we left off last night.  Deanna."

Riker snatched the note and stuck it back into his pocket. Then helped
her up when he saw it was almost that time.

"I'd better go," he stated, rising from the chair.

Bobbie began to conjure up images of what Deanna had in mind, then
wondered how she could possibly compete with an Imzadi...

She quickly pushed the fleeting thoughts out of her head. "I'm not
going down without a fight," she said, grabbing onto his hand.  Then
she eased back a bit, realizing she might have been coming across too
possessively.  And let go.  "Maybe you can meet me later.  I'll be at
the lake nearby."

Will kissed her gently and nodded.

---

Standing at the edge of the field, Commander Riker understood why it
was called the great lawn.  Acres of thick green grass, offset by a
perfectly blue sky, seemed to go on forever ahead of him.  And while
exploring the galaxy was everything he could ever have imagined, it
only made him appreciate being planetside even more.  Especially when
his surroundings were as incredibly beautiful as they were on Janus.

With his hands in his pockets, Riker's eyelids closed and he deeply
inhaled the sweet smelling air about him.  Then finally began to relax
from the tension of days previous.

"It's almost as pretty as Betazed, don't you think?"

Will opened his eyes to look for the interruption, then realized
Deanna's voice was coming from above.  He smiled upon seeing her
perched on a branch of a large tree next to him.

"Care to join me for a bird's eye view?" she asked, motioning with one
hand as the other held on to a limb for balance.

He shook his head and chuckled.  "No.  The last time you convinced me
to climb a tree, I fell."

"That's because you were having trouble clearing your mind to meditate
like I was trying to teach you.  Instead, yours kept going into the
gutter."

"Hmmmm.  So, remind me again why *you* fell?"

Troi laughed at the memory of when they first met, then held out her
arms for Will to help her down.  He didn't let go until he was certain
her feet were firmly planted on the ground, suddenly feeling like he
had to protect her.

He smiled, noticing her hair was wrapped tightly on top of her head.
And immediately pulled the pin out, letting the long, black curls
cascade about her shoulders.

"I always hated that bun," he said, tossing the hair clip to the side.

"But I always liked your traction," she countered, running her fingers
over the chest hair that peeked out from his shirt.

Will raised a brow and smiled.  Then set his gaze off into the rolling
green hills behind Troi.  It was obvious she was trying to recreate
memories from Betazed.  Trying to recapture the newness and excitement
they felt for each other so many years ago.  But gods, Riker thought.
How much had changed between them since that time.

He sighed, loudly, and ran his fingers through his hair. "Deanna..."
He was searching for the words that could explain what he was thinking
and feeling.  But there were none.  He sat down, shaking his head.

"You feel obligated towards me, don't you," she asked in a
professional, Counselor's tone, hoping it would hide the ache she felt
inside.

"'Torn' might be a better word."  He began plucking blades of grass
and letting the breeze blow them from his fingertips.

Deanna sat down cross-legged in front of Will and indicated for him to
follow suit.  She placed her hands in his, their petiteness
disappearing into the strength of his own.

"Maybe I can help you not feel so torn anymore," she stated, looking
him directly in the eyes.  "I have something I want to show you."

Riker leaned back and surveyed Troi speculatively.

"It's alright, Will.  Just close your eyes and follow my lead."

Although he wasn't sure where all this was heading, Riker did as Troi
asked.  As his lids closed, she pulled him closer and began talking in
a soft whisper.

"Now, try to feel the sensations of your inhaling and exhaling.
Slowly.  Try to remember how I taught you to relax."

Will felt his mind begin to clear as he concentrated on the warmth and
coolness of his breathing.  Letting the tension in his shoulders and
neck disappear.  His tight grip on Deanna's hands loosened as she
stroked her fingers over his, her dulcet-voiced instructions now
fading into the background.  Replaced with the sound of the trees
rustling in the breeze and the birds chirping playfully.  The air
smelled sweetly perfumed, and intoxicating.

Will could feel Deanna close to him.  But something was different.
The place was different.  They were in the Jalara Jungle, just after
he had rescued her.  He was wiping the tears from her face.  Rocking
her in comfort.  They were kissing, languorously.  And she finally
acquiesced.  After all those weeks of pursuit, she wanted him to take
her.  But he knew the moment wasn't right.  It would be for the wrong
reasons, and he told her so.  Yet the desire overwhelmed him, forcing
all logic aside.  He could taste her kisses. Smell their scent
together.  Feel his first gentle push inside her as they became one in
body and soul.  Will was lost in the detailed memories during those
few days in the Jungle. And in the emotions that consumed their
lovemaking.

Suddenly, Deanna began to feel something strange, no longer having the
ability share her memories with Will. Then she realized why.

He had taken control from her.

In an instant they were no longer in the Jungle.  Feelings of love
were now being replaced with pain as vague flashes of other events
long ago surfaced in her mind.

He was standing at the entrance of the Troi household.  The door
slammed shut in his face.  Deanna wouldn't stand up to her mother.
Wouldn't stand up for him.  Or what they meant to each other.  She
felt his anger.  And tasted the Scotch.  She could see him in bed with
Wendy.  Feel the betrayal stab at her heart.  And then, hear the
argument that ensued...

Riker's eyes shot open and he let go of Troi's hands.  She stared
blankly at him, saddened by the difference in their perspectives of
that time.  Hurt by the striking contrast in their emotions.

"I think I should go," Will stated flatly.

Deanna grabbed at his hand.  "Please..." she pleaded.  But it was
useless right now.  Her attempt to rekindle their early relationship
failed.  Miserably.  And she knew it would be best to let him leave.

Will walked away in silence, wondering about what he and Deanna had
done.

What in the gods names were they thinking that night after the poker
game?  Did they honestly think they could share a night together and
then suffer no consequences from it? The biggest of which they were
expecting in less than nine months?

Nope.  Instead they had to play with fire.  Had to tempt fate.

And now, they were playing mind games with each other. Instead of just
letting things progress naturally.

Yeah.  Right.  Progress naturally.  That was the biggest joke on them
all.  The fact was, everyone's hand was being forced and it was far
from feeling natural.

And when the game was over and all the bets were in, someone was going
to wind up hurt.

With Will Riker to blame.

---

For the next several hours, Will walked around the village with no
particular destination in mind.  Preoccupied with his feelings and his
thoughts, busy separating his wants from his obligations.  And by the
time he returned to the inn, the sun had almost set, with the first
evening stars making their appearance in the sky.  He looked up to
admire their colors, feeling physically tired and emotionally drained.
And decided it was time to call it a night.

Riker passed through a set of French doors leading into the cavernous
lobby and immediately ran into Troi, who was also heading back.  As if
it were second nature, they quickly fell into step together, heading
for their respective rooms.

"Looks like we're neighbors," Deanna stated, referring to the fact
that she and Will had just turned left at the same corner and were now
heading down the same hallway. "Which one's yours?"

The XO paused a moment before responding.  Something about Troi's
appearance didn't seem right, although he wasn't sure exactly what.
Then he pointed the direction with a nod of his head.  "I'm on the
end."

"Right next to mine," she concluded.  "And tell me...just how did you
manage to get the honeymoon suite?"

"No other rooms available."

Almost immediately, an uncomfortable silence fell between them.  The
closeness and easiness each felt with one another for so long seemed a
distant memory now.  And even the smallest of conversations was an
effort.

Deanna searched desperately for something to say. Anything that might
help ease the tension they both still felt from their encounter on the
great lawn.  "So..."  she began, hesitating.  "Do you have plans for
tomorrow?"

He shook his head.

"Well, how about a picnic then?  Um...just to spend some time
together?"  By now they had stopped walking, having reached the end of
the corridor.

He shook his head again, this time with a gentle smile. "Thanks for
the offer, Deanna.  But I really need some time by myself to think.
Perhaps another day."

The Counselor nodded in understanding, sensing the sincerity of
Riker's request to be alone.  Unfortunately for Will, though, alone
was the last thing he was going to be. He had been preoccupied, and
temporarily forgot that he and Bobbie were sharing the suite.  Until
she emerged through the door wearing a gold silk robe that hugged
every curve her body offered.  With obviously nothing on beneath.

Troi's lips disappeared.  "Seems you have an unusual definition for
the word 'alone', Will."

Riker simply headed into his room without responding to Troi's
provocation, trying to avoid bodily contact with Bobbie as he did so,
who was half-blocking the entrance. The Antarian tossed a mischievous
glance at the Betazoid, and then closed the door behind her.

D'Oro wasted no time in speaking her mind once they were alone.  "You
didn't meet me at the lake," she stated, watching Will head for the
sofa.

Riker stopped in his tracks and turned.  He studied Bobbie's figure up
and down, carefully, then moved back in her direction.  "And when you
realized I wasn't going to make it, you headed back to our room and
came up with an alternate plan."

"I did no such thing," she replied defiantly.

"Oh?  Then how do you explain this?"  He stroked the collar of her
robe.  "Do I have to remind you again that sex isn't going to work
this time around?"

"I'm not looking for sex."

Riker studied her face closely.  Trying to determine if this was some
sort of machination to get her way.  A scheme she could use to
undermine Deanna's position in order to make her own stronger.

He saw in her eyes that it wasn't.

His voice grew husky and deep.  "No, you're not looking for sex."
Drawing her in closer still, his lips barely touched her own.  "You're
looking for much more."

"The question is," Bobbie whispered, laying a hand upon his heart,
"are you willing to give it to me?"

Will delicately traced her lips with a finger, knowing that what he
was considering went against his better judgment. He had sworn to
himself that he would think things through first.  Vowed he wouldn't
get physically involved again until he had made a decision.  But he
also knew he'd be a fool to let this moment with D'Oro -- maybe even
his future with her -- slip by.

He closed in with a deep kiss that held infinite promise.
Effortlessly, he untied her robe and slipped it from her shoulders.
Letting the shimmering silk skim across her body as it fell freely to
the carpet.  Then coaxed her gently to the floor.

His fingers interlaced with her hair, running through the long blonde
locks as she slowly opened his shirt buttons, one by one.  Followed by
the gentle and unhurried removal of the remainder of his attire.  And
they fell into a consummate embrace, indulging their senses on the
feel of bare flesh upon flesh.

"I want you..." she whispered, allowing her hair to sweep across his
face as she finally settled atop his body.  "And everything you have
to give."

"Then take me."

"*All* of you?"

Will swept aside the stray locks and looked deeply into her eyes, now
understanding the implied meaning of her words. And he wondered if he
could possibly give D'Oro all she wanted from him.  Questioned whether
he would be able to open himself completely to her and relinquish
control from his nicely guarded existence.  For so many years now, he
had encountered a series of meaningless flings.  All fun and
physically gratifying, certainly.  But empty nonetheless. But it had
also been a long time since a woman stole right through to the very
heart of him with such intensity and passion the way Bobbie did.

Thoughts of Deanna and memories of their early, tempestuous
relationship flashed through his mind, along with the obligations of
pending fatherhood.  He had a esponsibility to her now, he knew.  But
the situation...their relationship...even their feelings...felt
awkward.  To think that at one time, he and Troi meant so much more to
one another.  A time when everything seemed so much simpler. But
now...

In that instant, recollections of chosen paths and repressed feelings
and confusing emotions came back to haunt him. And Will realized that
if he pushed Bobbie away, he might very well cause history to repeat
itself.  Leaving him alone, once again, with only memories of a love
lost.

He looked into D'Oro's light brown eyes and watched them light up as
their gaze met.  Held her closely as she waited for his answer.

In a moment of silence.

No words.

No movement.

Just...quiet.

She smiled, in gentle invitation.

Will opened his mouth, waiting for the words to form. Knowing that
from this point forward, whatever his decision, life would be forever
changed.

And from somewhere, deep inside him, his whispered response emerged.

"All of me."

At that moment, nothing else in the universe mattered to them.  There
were no circumstances or obligations.  No questions about the future
or what it might hold.  All there was, was each other.  And an
unspoken promise to relinquish themselves to their emotions and to one
another. Their only spoken language being their soft sighs and gasps
as they merged, in slow and methodic rhythm.  Allowing their desire to
consume each caress.  And taste.  And breath.

<Will?>

"Hmmmm...?" Will moaned contentedly, enjoying how sexy Bobbie made his
name sound when they were together.

"Shhhh..."

<Will?>

Riker's eyes opened wide.  It was not Bobbie's voice he was hearing.
And he wasn't enjoying this particular experience of déjŕ vu.

<Deanna...> he chided, trying his best not to ruin the moment.

<I could sense your *aloneness* right now, Will...and I thought I'd
join you,> she offered sarcastically.

Still embracing D'Oro, he clenched his fists, trying to fight back the
anger.  Trying not to let his softer emotions slip too quickly away.
<Deanna, leave me alone.>

<Why?>

<Deanna...>  His knuckles began to turn white and his body stiffened.
The moment he had with D'Oro was lost.

<I thought you wanted to do a threesome with me and Bobbie.  Isn't
this the perfect opportunity?>

By now, Will was incensed beyond belief.  He was fed up with their
games.  Fed up with her behavior.  And fed up with himself for letting
things get so out of control.  All he wanted to do was retaliate back
for Troi's incessant torment lately.  And, instinctively, the word
slipped past his lips.

"Deanna!"

The last syllable had barely been uttered and Will was frozen in
place.  He had just done the unthinkable.  Even unforgivable.  It
didn't matter what had caused the outburst. All he knew was that he
might as well have just thrust a dagger right into Bobbie's heart.

D'Oro stared at him, aghast.  Unable to speak or feel or think.  And
her eyes filled quickly.  She pushed herself off Riker hard enough to
force the air right out from his lungs.

"The name's *Bobbie*!" she snarled, rising to her feet. "B-O-B-B-I-E!"
Furiously she grabbed at her robe and stormed off into the bedroom.
Slamming the door shut loudly behind her.

Riker's jaw clenched tightly as he lifted himself from the floor and
threw on his clothes.  Then he went for the door that led into the
hallway, brutally flinging it open, heading straight into Troi's room.

He took several determined strides inside and stood perfectly still.
Glaring at her as she stood at the foot of her bed, his arms folded
across his chest.

"Where do you get off pulling a stunt like that?!"

"Me?  Seems you have your priorities a bit out of order, Will.  But
then again," she challenged harshly, "your priorities were always
physical ones, weren't they.  So I think you should seriously
reconsider who's responsible for what around here.  And seriously
reconsider this whole situation.  Which by the way, I wouldn't be in
if..."

"*You* wouldn't be in?" he interrupted quite loudly, marching in her
direction.  "Don't blame this all on me, Deanna.  As I recall, you
were one *hell* of an eager partner that night."

Will was standing merely inches from her now, staring down into her
face.  She looked away, briefly.  Trying to concentrate on something
other than his intimidating height. Then raised her chin out of anger
and returned his gaze dead-on.  Prepared with her own onslaught.

"I'm beginning to wonder why I even bothered with you on Betazed.  We
didn't have anything in common.  Couldn't see eye to eye on just about
anything.  And you were so beneath--"

She stopped.

Will snapped to full attention, his posture challenging her to finish
the thought.  "Go ahead.  Say it."

Deanna seemed to deflate where she stood, her bravado fading from her
body along with the words.

"Okay, then.  I'll say it for you.  You thought that Lt. William T.
Riker was beneath you.  High and mighty blue blooded daughter of
Lwaxana Troi, member of the Fifth House of Betazed, Holder of The
Sacred Chalice of Rixx. And all that other Betazoid--"

Riker didn't bother to finish.  He had made his point.

"You know something?" he added.  "If it wasn't for me, you might not
have had a career at all.  Instead, you would have continued to
blindly follow your mother's every whim, with your head still buried
in the sands of Betazed."

"Oh?  And I'm supposed to believe that when you met me, all you wanted
to do was help me become a better person?" She shook her head in
disbelief.  "Oh, please.  Don't insult my intelligence, Will.  As far
as I remember, the only thing you really wanted was to get me into
bed.  The gods only knew you tried every opportunity you had.  And
then when we finally admitted our feelings for each other--"

"You ran away," he interrupted.  "You defaulted to your mother's
wishes and turned your back on me.  I was there for you when you
needed *me*, Deanna.  Where were you when I needed *you*?"

"I was there...but...you didn't..."  Deanna began to stammer. "We
didn't..."

Will watched Troi blink several times, deliberately.  As if she were
trying to re-focus on her surroundings.  Her body began to sway and
her expression turned blank.  And frightened.  Hastily, she grabbed
onto Will, and he tried to steady her now weakened state.  For a
moment, she seemed to regain her balance.  But just as quickly, she
began to wobble again, and Riker caught her in both arms before she
fell, and eased her gently to the floor with him.

"Deanna?"  He shook her face gently.  "Look at me! Deanna?!  What's
wrong?"

"I don't know..."  She shut her eyes and gasped.  Then clutched her
abdomen tightly, rolling off his lap and onto the floor.  Bound
tightly in a fetal position.

Everything had turned into one big nightmare.  The sense of
helplessness and panic invaded Will's body and made it shake.  His
hands turned cold and his heart pounded in his ears.  The fear forced
its way up from the pit of his stomach, leaving the bitter taste of
bile in his mouth.  There was no way out.  No escape from the waves of
intense pain that he was feeling with Deanna.

"Will..."

He could barely hear Troi's voice as she moaned on the floor in front
of him.

"Deanna?...Deanna?!"

Will slapped his comm badge in desperation.  "Riker to Enterprise!" he
commanded loudly.  "Two to beam directly to sickbay.  *Now*!"

---
CHAPTER 5
---

"Computer.  Time."

"The time is now 2155 hours."

Riker hated that damn monotone voice.  It irritated him to no end,
particularly because it was indifferent to the fact hat only five
minutes had passed since he last made the same inquiry.

Five minutes that felt like five hours.

He slumped forward in the chair, elbows on knees, and sighed loudly.
He couldn't remember when, if ever, Beverly asked him to wait in her
office while she tended to a patient.  And he had a strong aversion
for doing it, particularly right now.  Here he was, a man who needed
to take charge of every scenario presented to him, with absolutely no
control in a situation that he was personally involved in.  He had no
information.  No clue as to what was happening.  And no idea as to how
much longer he was going to have to wait.  But, he acknowledged that
when it came to sickbay, Beverly had the final word in it.  And,
judging by the confused expression on the CMO's face when she saw him
and Deanna beam in, Riker considered that her reaction was probably
justified.  They were both visibly upset and shaken.  And absolutely
indignant towards one another.  He mused that Beverly probably
separated him and Deanna for a couple reasons.  One was for the sake
of her patient.  The other was for the sake of her own sanity. As the
tending medical physician, the last thing she needed were two people
who were not only worried, but would also have been at each other's
throats if Deanna were physically able.

Will ran his fingers through his hair, trying to think of something to
do.  Anything that would occupy his mind right now.  Since coming into
sickbay almost an hour ago, he had already paced about the CMO's
office enough to wear a path in the floor.  Had attempted on and off
to smooth out the wrinkles in his blue shirt left behind by Troi's
pummeling fists.  Had read and re-read Dr. Crusher's diplomas and
certificates until they were memorized.  Had even rearranged the padds
on her desk several times until he was sure he had probably interfered
with her filing system more than she would have liked.  So, there was
now only one thing left to do.

The XO decided to stare at the misplaced loop he had discovered that
stuck out from the carpet a few feet away from him.

"Hmmmmm.  I don't think I'll ever be able to look at a rug in quite
the same way again," the voice teased.

Riker turned his head and saw Bobbie sitting in the chair next to him,
her body position mimicking his own.

"Floor coverings certainly are more intriguing than I ever imagined
they could be," she added, pretending to closely study the object of
the First Officer's fascination along with him.

He smiled at that and sat upright, turning to face her. Bobbie quickly
followed suit.

"How long have you been here?" he asked, hoping he hadn't ignored her
for too long.

"A couple of minutes."

"Mmmm," was his only response.

Almost immediately something struck Will as quite odd, and his
eyebrows knit together in curiosity.  "How did you know where to find
me?"

D'Oro nodded her head in the direction of sickbay.  "Dr. Crusher
managed to get a hold of me.  She filled me in briefly as to what
happened and said that you were waiting here in her office.  She
figured that you probably really needed me right now.  So, I beamed
up."

He smiled gently.  "I'll have to thank her for that."

Bobbie remained quiet for a moment, then lowered her head to stare at
the floor again.  Her blonde hair falling forward to hide her face.

Will knew he had hurt her deeply.  And that she was still very angry
with him about it.  And yet, in spite of it all, she found it in
herself to be by his side simply because he needed her there.  That
was more than anyone had done for him in a long, long time.

Gently, he stroked the locks behind her ear and over her shoulder,
caressing her cheek as he did so.  Then studied her features closely.
Examined the curve of her lips.  The strength of her cheekbones.  The
long length of her dark lashes.

The pain in her expression.

Riker, in plain and simple terms, felt like a heel.  And somehow not
deserving of her support.  "I'm a bit surprised to see you after what
happened between us before," he stated softly.  "I thought for sure
you weren't going to be on speaking terms with me for a while."

"Dr. Crusher said you needed me.  That was reason enough for me to
come see you."

He shook his head slowly in amazement, then lifted her chin with his
thumb and forefinger and turned her face towards his.  "Bobbie, I'm
really sorry for what I did to you before."

"I wish I could easily forget this, Will.  But I don't understand why
you called me..."  The words lodged themselves in D'Oro's throat, and
she tried desperately to hold back the tears.  She was determined not
to look away from him, though.  Bobbie wanted Riker to see how deep
the emotional wound was.

"I wasn't calling out for Deanna because I wanted her," he explained.
"I wanted *you*.  But she was thought-casting to me when we were
together --"

He abruptly stopped when he saw the disbelieving look staring back at
him.

"Will, do you have any idea how it makes me feel to know that you and
I were together, and all the while you were having a mental
conversation with Deanna?"

He could only imagine.  "You have to believe me when I tell you that I
had no control over what happened.  Deanna did.  She can start
thought-casting and, for the most part, only she can end it."

"So what you're saying is that she can get in your mind just about any
time she wants, and you have no way of stopping her?"

"Just about," he replied innocuously.

"Well, that bodes *really* well for any serious relationship you hope
to have with another woman," D'Oro offered sharply.

Riker froze in place momentarily.  He hadn't really considered that
before.  He felt his blood pressure begin to rise and his heart begin
to pound at the thought.  Then he quickly sprang to his feet,
startling Bobbie in the process.

Shaking his head back and forth, he paced about the floor in front of
her.  "I can't believe she did that!" he exclaimed, his arms
outstretched as he spoke.  "Regardless of the circumstances, she had
no right to interfere like that.  No right to intrude on you and me
when we were making love."

When he received no response, Riker came to a dead stop. Then turned
to look at D'Oro, his face devoid of emotion.

"Did she?"

She shrugged.  "You tell me."

The truth of it was, Will Riker wasn't completely sure.

He sank back down into the chair next to her.  "I don't want to lose
you and I never meant to hurt you, Bobbie.  You have to believe that.
But Deanna was angry that I was with you.  She knew my weakness and
went for it.  If I could have fought her off, I would have.  The gods
only know how hard I tried."

D'Oro let out a deep, long sigh when those baby blues gazed right into
her eyes.  Looking forlorn, worried and upset. And every part of her
being felt like it was melting right off the chair in front of him.

"Please forgive me," he pleaded tenderly.

Bobbie conceded that she had no defenses against the man known as
William T. Riker or the animalistic draw he had on her, and she
couldn't help but yield to his passionate appeal.

"Forgiven."

He kissed her delicately on the lips, incredibly relieved to hear
those words.  "Thank you," he whispered.  "For everything."

For that brief moment, Riker felt the weight of the world lift from
his shoulders.  But when he settled back into his seat and caught
sight of the doors leading to sickbay, the anxiety returned.  Doubly
so.

He slumped forward on the chair again, assuming his elbows on knees
posture.  And buried his face in his hands.

"I can't believe this is happening," he mumbled through his fingers.
"Nothing has ever felt more wrong and out of place in my entire life."

Bobbie rested her hand on his back, her voice soft and soothing.  "I
would imagine anyone who goes through this would feel the same way,
Will.  The waiting is always the worst part."

"No, it's more than that," he replied quickly.  He dropped his hands
from his weary face and brought them between his knees, interlacing
his fingers.  "I always wanted, even hoped, I'd be a father some day.
But I never expected it could have possibly happened this way.  And
now everything is one big mess."

"I get the impression that big mess began when you and Deanna slept
together that night."

He nodded, staring straight out ahead of him.  "And quickly too.  The
whole thing came to a head just before Deanna and I beamed into
sickbay.  We were having the worst argument in history, saying words
that I never imagined would be spoken between us.  But she pushed my
buttons, and I had had enough of it all.  All I wanted to do was hurt
her.  Really, really hurt her."

"You enjoyed it, didn't you."

He shook his head at first.  Paused.  And then nodded.

"And you feel guilty about it?"

"A bit.  Somehow I wish I could have done things differently though.
Made some different decisions. Anything that would have prevented all
this from happening."

"You can't do that, Will.  No matter how hard you try, you can never
go back."

The chill ran down Riker's spine instantaneously with her words.
Words he, himself, had spoken before...

He sat upright and rested his head against the wall, and stared up at
the ceiling.  Bobbie gingerly laced her fingers around his.

"I feel so many different things, I can't make heads or tails of it,"
he sighed.  "I'm still angry with Deanna.  But I feel badly for what
she's going through.  I keep going back and forth between feeling love
and sympathy for her, and having an insane desire to send her off in a
shuttlecraft to some distant planet."

Bobbie laughed at the mental picture that remark produced.

"I should have never slept with her, Bobbie.  It changed everything.
We both knew what could happen.  We both knew we had become different
people from who we were almost twenty years ago, and that there was a
strong possibility that things wouldn't work out.  And now there's
such animosity between us."

He clenched his fists.

"You're going to have to get this all out in the open sometime, Will.
Somewhere down the road, you and Deanna will need to get this all out,
for good or bad."

"I'm beginning to wonder if we're on that road already, but what's
coming out in the open isn't really all that pretty. And I think it's
surprising...maybe even scaring...the both of us."

"Well, you'll just have to put that off to the side for now and give
her all the support you can instead.  No matter what happens here
today."

Beverly took that moment to emerge from the infirmary, her hands
buried deeply inside her physician's coat pockets.

Riker lifted his head and watched her stand there.  Then slowly rose
to his feet.  He swallowed, hard, and attempted his best poker face
and Starfleet posture so as not to give the CMO the slightest hint as
to the emotional turmoil that lay underneath.

She looked directly at him, her eyes soft and wide, and shook her
head.  Confirming the miscarriage that Will had suspected all along.

He stood there, quietly.  His whole body feeling paralyzed and numb.
Not knowing how or what to feel.

Crusher, beginning to suspect his tumult, walked towards him and
rested a palm on his shoulder.  "I'm so sorry, Will. But there was
nothing I could do."  She ran both hands slowly up and down the length
of his arms to try and ease the shock.  Then looked over at Bobbie,
who was still seated in her chair.

Will glanced at D'Oro over his shoulder.  "Thanks for telling her,
Beverly."

"I had a feeling that..."  She paused a moment, as Will turned his
gaze back upon her.  "Well, let's just say I had a feeling.  Anyway,
if you want, you can see Deanna now."

He simply nodded and headed towards the door.

"Will..." Beverly interrupted quickly, grabbing onto his hand.  Riker
turned around and watched her stand open-mouthed, trying to express
something that weighed heavily on her mind.  "I know what's been going
on between you and Deanna lately.  She's very upset right now, for a
number of reasons and--"

"She doesn't really want to see me, does she," he interjected.

Crusher let him go.  "No she doesn't.  But she *needs* to. And you
need to see her, too."

"Is that your physician's opinion?"

"No," she replied, kissing him gently on the cheek.  "It's a friend's
opinion."

And Riker acknowledged that she was a very good one, indeed.

He took a few tentative steps towards sickbay, preparing himself
for...he wasn't sure what.  Then shrugged off his uncertainty and
headed directly inside, making his way to the foot of Deanna's bed.
All the thinking he did in Beverly's office still didn't prepare him
as to what he should say.  They had a terrible argument just a short
time ago and he was sure the bitter taste from it remained in Troi's
mouth just as it did in his.  But, they had both also experienced a
tremendous loss together and, just as Bobbie had advised, she needed
his support more than anything else right now.

So he decided that was the best course to pursue.

"How are you feeling?" he inquired in his most gentle voice.

<How do you *think* I'm feeling?>

Deanna's response, and the way it sounded in his head when she said
it, made something snap inside him.  Their last experience of
thought-casting had damaging results, and the fact that she was doing
it again now placed him on the defensive.

"Can we talk normally, please, like everyone else does?"

Riker regretted his response as soon as he spoke the words. He had
lost control -- and too quickly -- in a situation that required more
understanding than he had provided.  He was about to apologize, but
Troi didn't allow him the satisfaction.

"In case you haven't noticed, Will, I'm not *everyone else*. That's
the problem here."

There were no more words after that.  Riker simply stood there, as
Deanna lay on the bed.  A stony silence rising between them.

Deafening...

Stony...

Silence.

And it took what felt like an eternity before it was finally broken.

"Why did you really come to see me Will?" Deanna asked.

"Because I wanted to."

"Because you wanted to?  Or because you felt like you *had* to?"

Riker hesitated, and Troi didn't like what it meant.

"Do me a favor, Will, and take your guilty conscience elsewhere.  I
don't need or want anything more from you. You've done enough as it
is."

"Let's not start this now, okay?"

"I'm not starting anything, but rather, I'm finishing it." She
repositioned herself on the biobed, and turned her face away from him
to stare at the wall.  "I know you want to be somewhere else, Will.
Somewhere that you think is more important than with me.  That's the
way it's always been for us.  So why don't you just go."

"Deanna, why are you doing this?  Especially now?"

"You let me down, in more ways than one.  I'm not going to take it
anymore."  She turned her head on the pillow to face him once again
and spoke bitterly.  "You've already made your bed, Will.  Go lie in
it with Bobbie."

He had no recourse but to leave.  She had, once again, pushed him
away.  Whatever the reasons, whatever the situation, whoever was to
blame, it was happening all over again.

"It'll be my pleasure," he mumbled under his breath.

Will walked out of sickbay and headed straight for Bobbie, who was
sitting in the same cross-legged position as before.

"Wow.  That was faster than I--"

"Let's go back to Janus," he interrupted rudely, extending his hand to
her as he came closer.

"What?  Don't you want to stay on board the Enterprise and be near
Deanna just in case she needs you?"

"No."

D'Oro grabbed onto the armrests and pushed herself into the back of
the chair, as if Will's spoken word forced and held her there.

It took a little while before Riker realized how harsh he sounded, and
he crouched to his haunches in front of her.

"Bobbie," he began, trying to soften the tone of his voice, "I have
three days of leave left.  There's a beautiful suite planetside that's
not being used the way it should.  It has everything and then some to
offer...not to mention a really large and inviting bed...and I'd like
to spend the next seventy-two hours in it with you."

She seriously considered his invitation.  It was a tempting one,
certainly.  But something told her that maybe...

"Think of it as my way of making things up to you for what I did to
you before."

Her eyes widened a bit at the thought and she pursed her lips.  Still
considering his proposal.  Still wondering if he was possibly...

"I'll do whatever you want me to," he added with a lascivious grin.

That caught her attention.

Bobbie leaned forward just enough to be able to run a finger through
some of the exposed curls on his chest. "*Anything*?" she asked with
an eyebrow raised.

Will's grin widened, his white teeth contrasting sharply with the
darkness of his beard.

"Then let's get out of here.  Now."

Riker rose and took a step backwards to allow Bobbie the room to
stand, then turned to look at the entrance to sickbay and think about
who was behind...

He turned his back on her and walked out.

---
CHAPTER 6
---

Will stepped out of the bathroom in his quarters, freshly showered and
shaved, and quietly donned his uniform.

He eyed the blonde beauty literally sprawled out across his bed, fully
clothed.  Then leaned over to give her a soft kiss on the cheek and a
gentle nibble on the ear.  Fully expecting her to twitch from the
erotic, even tickling, sensation she said his beard always provoked.
But, instead, not a thing happened.  Nothing.

Bobbie was out cold.

Riker chuckled to himself at the rag doll sight of her, and
acknowledged that he was exhausted himself.  He had enticed D'Oro back
to Janus with the promise of fulfilling her every sexual desire, and
he had, in fact, catered to her every whim while down there.  But he
also had a great deal of pent up emotions that had no means for
release, and they found their way out of him through the most physical
sex he had had in years.  The experience left them both incredibly
satisfied, but with barely an ounce of energy to spare when they
returned to the Enterprise a half hour ago.

Lingering over her, Will kissed her one more time, imparting his
tender feelings from his lips to hers...

Then stood upright and headed for his outer quarters, stopping briefly
at a mirror for a final once-over before starting his day.

<Will Riker,> he thought, <you look like you could use another
vacation.>

Something in the reflection caught his attention, and he did a double
take at the object behind him.  An object that had been displayed on
his desk for so many years that he never really noticed its presence.

Until now.

Riker turned around to get a better look.  Then strode, slowly and
cautiously, towards it.  After a minute of internal debate he finally
picked it up, and studied the feel of the ages-old binding in his
large hands.  His fingers tracing the embossed lettering on the cover
of the book.

'Ode to Psyche'...

Will considered for a moment whether or not he wanted to read Deanna's
inscription inside.  Instead, he spun around, opened a drawer, and
carelessly tossed it amongst the haphazard collection inside.  Then
slammed the drawer shut with his knee.

<So much for tender feelings,> he thought, noting that Troi certainly
had a way of robbing him of that particular pleasure lately.

The XO abruptly headed out the door and down the corridor.  Determined
to occupy his mind with something else.  Anything else.  There were
his duties.  And schedules. And personnel.  Honored guests.  Uncharted
planets.  Away missions.  Starfleet...

And her door.

He paused a moment in front of Deanna's quarters, instantaneously
flooded with the strangest combination of emotions he had ever
experienced.  A part of him actually felt relieved that the pressures
of fatherhood had disappeared.  Another part still felt angry, even
enraged, at Troi and what was happening to their relationship.  But
the largest part of him felt remorse and sadness.  A piece of him...a
piece of *them*... was gone.  Forever.  He would never know who his
son or daughter was going to be, or what he or she was going to look
like.  And, on top of it all, the loss of their child occurred under
the worst possible circumstances.

Well, what did he care anyway.  That was all history now. All that
mattered was that he had a free and clear path to do whatever he
wanted with whomever he wanted.  Without having to consider how any of
it would affect her.  He didn't need her in his life.  She didn't need
him in hers.  And it was far better this way.

Wasn't it?

Riker shifted back and forth, wondering, then made a quarter-turn and
headed for the nearest turbolift with long  and determined strides.

"Good morning, sir," Ensign Taylor said cheerfully as he was just
about to pass by.

Will abruptly stopped walking, and his action prompted Taylor to do
the same.  He fixed the junior officer with a penetrating gaze.

"Are you on duty, Ensign?"

"Um...y-yes, sir," he replied weakly, feeling a bit more than
intimidated by the First Officer's thundering voice.

"Then stop meandering about the hallways and get back to work!" he
barked.  He turned on his heels to continue on his way, adding over
his shoulder, "And get a haircut!"

A nearby lieutenant tossed a shocked glance at the ensign. And both
officers watched the massive, dark shadow of a man stampede down the
hallway and disappear into the lift.

---

"Welcome back, sir," Data offered politely as Commander William T.
Riker strode past him on the Bridge.  "I'm sorry to hear about--"

"Save it, Data," the XO offered immediately.

"Save what where, sir?" the android questioned, taking his senior
officer's request literally.

Will speared him a look.  "Is there anything I should be aware of?"

"No, sir.  Activity aboard the Enterprise has been without incident in
your absence," Data replied.  "However, Captain Picard requested to
meet with you in his Ready Room as soon as you returned to duty."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" he asked brusquely.

Without acknowledging Data any further, the First Officer set a direct
course for his Captain.  Leaving the android to calculate that it took
him precisely 15.2 seconds to inform his superior officer of Picard's
instructions, and formulating a strategy on how to be faster the next
time around.

Upon hearing the Captain's bid to enter, Riker walked in, his large
frame at full attention.

"Ah, Will.  Please, take a seat," Picard stated, placing a padd next
to the cup of tea on his desk.

Without saying a word, he straddled the chair.

"I want you to know that I'm sorry about the baby, Will," he offered
in sympathy.

"Guess some things just aren't meant to be."

The Captain raised his eyebrows at the unexpected reply.  "I guess
not," he said, becoming suspicious of his second-in- command's
uncharacteristic response.  He hesitated briefly before adding, "Are
you alright, Number One?"

"I'm fine, sir."

Picard took a sip from his cup, thought a moment, and then placed it
back into its saucer.  And settled deeply into his seat.  "You've been
through a lot lately, and I realize that in a situation like this, any
crewmember would make use of the Counselor's ear right now.  But
considering--"

"My private affairs are my own business, sir," Riker quickly
challenged.  "I would appreciate keeping them that way."

"I understand that, and you certainly are entitled.  In fact, if you'd
like some extra time--"

"I'm fully prepared to assume my duties right now, Captain."

"Yes.  I'm sure you are," Picard replied blankly, brushing off the
abrasive comments.  This was not going smoothly at all, and he decided
it was probably better to change the subject to more lighter fare.  "I
trust you had an enjoyable shore leave?" he prompted with a gentle
smile.

"Yes, it was enjoyable."

The smile slipped away at the abrupt sound of Will's voice. "I'm
glad..."

Picard stifled a strong urge to sigh out in frustration at Riker's
oppressive mood, and concern began to arise within him.  Granted, his
First Officer had gone through a lot recently, but he had a ship to
command.  And he needed everything, and everyone in it, to operate in
top form.  Time to take the proverbial bull by the horns, he thought.
And quickly.

"Will, Counselor Troi is taking a couple more days off.  So it will be
up to you to take the reins on the crew evaluations during that time.
I have already spoken with her...offered my condolences..."

Picard waited.

When it was clear no reaction was imminent, he continued.

"She will, however, be available to prepare the final report with you
as required."

Riker shifted in his seat.  "Yes, sir."

The Captain was starting to get a better feel for how the land lay.
"Will, I know what transpired between you and Deanna in sickbay.  Do
you suspect that there will be any problems with the two of you
working together after all that has happened recently?"

Riker shook his head, seemingly annoyed with the question and the fact
that Picard knew as much as he did about himself and Troi.  "No, sir."

The Captain surmised that, in the best interests of tact and
friendship, this particular matter was closed.  At least for now.  In
the meantime, the best he could do was to watch, wait and see.

"Very well, Number One," he concluded.  "That will be all."

"Thank you, sir."

The Captain observed Riker head out to the Bridge.  Then pulled in one
very long, deep breath, and released it. Slowly.

---

Commander Riker strode into Dr. Crusher's office and silently took a
seat opposite her desk, where he waited for her to finish a medical
analysis with Nurse Abrams.

Within a matter of minutes, the medical jargon subsided and their
business at hand was complete.  Abrams took the  padds from the CMO
and politely offered a 'good afternoon' to the XO as she passed by.

A courtesy -- from a well-endowed woman besides -- that he openly
ignored.

"Will," Beverly began as soon as her right-hand was out of earshot,
"that wasn't very nice."

"What wasn't nice..."

Her shoulders sank, disheartened, as she pointed a finger at the door.
"Abrams just said hello to you, and you completely disregarded her!
Not a good impression to make on someone who just transferred to this
ship a few months ago.  Especially considering that such behavior came
from the second-in-command of Starfleet's flagship."

He overlooked the blatant scolding.  "Abrams?  She's up for promotion,
isn't she?"

Crusher nodded.

"Then she's the one who has to make the good impression, Doctor."

The CMO's jaw conspicuously dropped open, and it took a while for her
to regroup.  "I'm going to ignore that remark because I know you
didn't mean it," Beverly offered, frozen in her seat.  "But I don't
think Nurse Abrams will."

Riker shrugged off her observation.

Beverly breathed in and out quickly.  "Will, is there something you
want to talk about?  You seem to be...preoccupied lately."

"No."

She fidgeted in her chair, recognizing that this was exactly the
behavior Jean-Luc made mention of the other day.

"Will, you've suffered a loss, among many other things you are
experiencing right now," she gently reminded him.  "It will help for
you to talk things out.  Things that, right now, you and Deanna are
unable to discuss together.  I thought I could help."

"Why is everyone making a big fuss over me and Deanna?"

"No one's making a fuss over you and Deanna."

"Oh?  Then why does everyone keep bringing it up?  Why can't people
just drop the subject and stop asking me all these questions and stop
telling me how sorry they are about everything?"

"Because people are genuinely concerned about your happiness and
well-being," she argued.  "And besides, it's not like they 'keep
bringing it up', as you say.  If anything, you're the one who keeps
reliving the events over and over in your head.  Mostly because you
and Deanna still have so much unfinished business to tend to."

"Oh no," Riker disputed.  "Everything is quite finished with her,
Beverly.  Deanna made that very clear to me when I visited her in
sickbay."

"Is it?  Really?  You two have more loose ends in your relationship
than any other people I know.  In fact, if you tied them all together,
you could probably reach from here to the Delta Quadrant."

Riker didn't respond to her remarks, even if he did find them somewhat
amusing.  Then realization dawned on him.

"You really didn't ask me to meet with you to discuss crew
evaluations, did you."

"Based on your mood lately, it seemed that crew evaluations were the
only valid excuse I could use to get to talk with you."

"My mood?"

"Well, word is out among the crew that there is a certain bearded
First Officer who has suddenly turned into his alter-ego, and that
anyone getting within thirty meters of him should run in the opposite
direction."

He didn't bother to respond this time either, and simply discounted
the open assessment of his current emotional state.

"Come on, Will.  This is me...*Beverly*," she pleaded. "Stop fighting
this.  You can't just go stomping around this ship and taking out your
anger on anyone who crosses your path.  You need to work things out
with Deanna.  Come to terms with her and what's happening to the two
of you."

Beverly knew her words had hit home.  For one brief moment, she saw
something flicker in his eyes that she had never seen before.
Something he had always managed to keep hidden behind his imposing
stature, strong personality and unwavering authority.

Anguish.

And just as quickly as she discovered it, it disappeared.

In that instant, her eyes widened with the realization of what it all
meant.

"As much as you try, you can't seem to let go of her, can you..."

---

Will started to get a sense of what Beverly had been talking about as
he made his way down the hall.  The three people who had been there
suddenly disappeared from his sight. Instantly heading off in another
direction, down a different corridor or back into their quarters upon
catching a glimpse of him.

But Riker kept on an unwavered course.  After his brief conversation
with Crusher, he realized that she was right. He and Deanna did have
unfinished business and loose ends.  And it was time someone started
to tie some of them up.

He walked directly into Counselor Troi's office, and stood just inside
the entrance.

"We need to talk."

"The crew evaluation report isn't due for another four days," Deanna
stated, never removing her eyes from the computer screen on her desk.
"How about tomorrow.  I'm busy right now."

"I'm not here to discuss ship-related business."

Troi peered up from the monitor.  "Then let me see when I can schedule
an appointment for you," she replied, dropping her head back down to
study the calendar on her screen.

"As First Officer of this ship, I don't need to arrange an appointment
to see the Counselor."

Deanna hesitated, then conceded to his pulling rank on her, and
motioned for him to take a seat.

He stepped closer to the desk, but remained standing.

"It's interesting how you use your position as First Officer to get
whatever you want," she volunteered.  "In fact, it's fortunate that
you *are* First Officer.  At least people can use that as a reason to
overlook your innate need for self-importance and to be the center of
attention."

Riker's jaw locked as he fought off the urge to throw a snide comment
back at her.  "I'm not here for psychoanalysis either.  I'm simply
here to--"

"And I don't want to hear your apologies," she interjected.

Will let out a sound of disgust.  "I don't know why I'm even bothering
to try and do this.  And here I thought I could offer--"

"Help?  Assurance?  Sympathy?  Spare me, Commander. The only person
who really needs any of that is Bobbie."

"Excuse me?" he asked, blinking his eyes as if he didn't hear her
correctly.

"She has no idea what she's in for with you.  In time, you will set
your sights on another pretty face and pursue it. That's the way you
are.  I know that about you.  Your friends and ex-lovers know that
about you.  And, eventually, Bobbie will come to know that about you
too."

Riker walked to the edge of her desk and rested his palms on top of
it, and leaned towards her.  His eyes narrowed and focused intently on
her face.

"Leave her out of this, Counselor.  It's different with her."

"That's what you think."

Riker ignored her comment and concentrated on trying to relax.  He had
business to finish with Deanna -- chapters that needed to be closed --
and he knew that the softer approach was the only way it could be
done.  If he didn't, and he let his more raw emotions erupt,
everything was going to get way out of hand.  And cause irreparable
damage.

"Deanna, I'm sorry for the way things turned out.  But Bobbie is very
important to me.  I never expected any of this to happen the way it
did.  I'd like to move past all this and--"

"You just don't get it!  Do you!" she cried out in disbelief, rising
abruptly from her chair, now looking like a caged animal behind the
desk.

The startled look on Riker's face quickly turned to anger as the words
echoed in his head.  He pushed himself off the desk and walked around
it towards her.  Briskly.  "No.  I get it.  And all too well," he
lectured adamantly.  "I tried to be understanding.  Tried to be there
for you.  Tried to listen..."

"You used me," she said emphatically, her voice quivering from anger
and hurt.  Her fists clenched, arms straight at her sides.

Riker stopped just inches short of her.  "I what?!"

"That night after the poker game.  I should have known better and
realized your intentions were different from mine.  And you used me."

"Who had inten--"  He stopped mid-sentence to correct himself, quickly
ran his fingers over his beard, and continued.  "If you had serious
intentions, why didn't you come right out and say so, Deanna?  You had
the whole night and the whole morning to tell me, you know.  Not to
mention all the years we've served together."

Deanna let out a low chuckle in her exasperation, then sighed in
defeat.  "This is so typical."

"I can't read minds and I'm not an empath, Deanna.  How am I supposed
to know you were interested in something more from me when all these
years you've been saying we shouldn't pursue one another again because
it wasn't the right time?  Because we serve on the same ship and it
could cause problems.  Because we might *not* serve on the same ship
and that would cause problems too.  Why should I have expected that to
change in one night?"

She didn't reply.

"And, if anything, I'd say your choice of words that evening were
driven more by primal desire than a wish for a serious commitment.
You displayed more of an insatiable hunger for good sex than a loving
relationship--"

Riker didn't know what hit him.

Well, actually, he did.

It was Troi's open palm.

He stood there, quietly acknowledging that he had goaded her on.
Knowing he had just pushed her past her limits. But he was way past
his as well.  Silently, he permitted the stinging sensation to subside
from his cheek before he spoke again.

"I'm tired of being blamed for the way things turned out," he said in
a fatigued voice.  "Tired of my career being used as an excuse for our
not getting back together.  Tired of dancing around our relationship.
If we were meant to be together, Deanna, it would have happened a long
time ago. End of story."

"So, you're admitting what you did to me then?" she asked, sounding
almost victorious.

He brought his face closely to hers and looked directly into those
large, dark eyes.  And spoke with conviction.

"I'll admit a couple of things, Deanna.  One is that sometimes I still
fantasize about having you.  Imagining what things we can do together
in my bed.  The other is that sometimes I still wonder about what
might have been between us.  But I won't, and I emphasize *won't*,
admit that I used you after the poker game.  Because I didn't."

"I knew you wouldn't understand.  There is nothing left to discuss.
It's over," Deanna said with finality.  "Our relationship.  Our
friendship.  Everything.  It's finished."

"Not quite," another voice added.

Riker and Troi quickly turned to see Captain Picard standing in the
open doorway to the Counselor's office.  His compact stature tense.
His expression openly disturbed.

Will felt disquieted in not knowing exactly how long his CO had been
standing there.  Or, for that matter, just how much of their argument
he had heard.

"Captain, I..."

Picard didn't give his First Officer a chance to explain, adamantly
gesturing with a wave of his hand for him to shut up.

And although he didn't speak in a loud voice, his orders to Riker and
Troi seemed to vibrate off the walls.

"I want to see the both of you in my Ready Room in one hour."

---

Commander Riker and Counselor Troi sat across from Captain Picard in
his Ready Room, waiting for him to talk.

He was taking his time, pacing across the floor in front of them.
Gathering his thoughts and trying to maintain his composure.

In short, Picard was infuriated.

Will had seen the Captain like this only once before, when he was
under direct orders to withhold information from his CO during the
Pegasus incident.  A time when Picard seriously considered removing
Riker as First Officer if the safety of the Enterprise was jeopardized
during the mission.

But today, the XO felt ten times worse than he did that day so many
years ago.  Because he felt had let him down. Disappointed the man he
looked up to and, in many ways, aspired to be.  For a second time.

"I am dissatisfied, to say the least, with the behavior I have
observed between the two of you lately.  It is unprofessional and
improper for a Starfleet officer.  It has been affecting everyone
aboard this ship, either directly or indirectly.  And it will no
longer be tolerated.  I have never had to intervene in my officers'
personal affairs before, and I feel uncomfortable for having to do it
now.  But I have no choice.  Either you two work this out...soon...or,
and as much as I don't wish this to happen, one of you will be
transferred to another ship."

Riker felt the color drain from his face.  "Captain, isn't this
decision a bit premature?"

"When would you have me consider all my options, Number One?  I don't
enjoy entertaining the idea of possibly being forced into this
decision, but how long am I supposed to wait?  Until a crewmember's
life is jeopardized on an away mission because two of my officers are
too busy arguing?  Until the safety of the Enterprise is compromised
because one or both of you is too preoccupied with hardened feelings
to think clearly in a critical situation?"

"I'd hardly think it would come to that, sir," Will offered.

"Can you guarantee that, Will? ...Deanna?  Can I run the risk of
commanding this ship in the hopes that two senior officers of mine can
get along well enough not to place any of us at risk?"

Neither one could alleviate his concerns to his satisfaction.

"I thought not."  Picard yanked down on his uniform jacket. "For your
information, I have done some research.  There is a First Officer's
slot becoming available on the Viking, and a Counselor's position is
currently available on the Grisham. It's time for you both to consider
all your options. Seriously."

The Captain looked at Riker and Troi one more time.  "You have two
weeks to make a decision or one will be made for you.  Dismissed."

--- CHAPTER 7 ---

Riker stood in front of his replicator and ordered a Scotch. Neat.

Then sat down at his desk and held the drink up to the light, swirling
it slowly within the grasp of his fingertips. Watching the amber
colors as they rippled back and forth inside the glass, guarded by his
own hand.

It really was a simple concept, he thought.  Hold it carefully, and he
would be able to savor all the drink had to offer.  As slowly or as
quickly as he wanted.  Hold it carelessly, and it would tumble wildly
to the floor, never to be returned to its original state again.  Never
again to be enjoyed.

Will laughed mockingly to himself at how the glass symbolized
everything about his life right now.  And, as far as he was concerned,
his life had not only tumbled wildly to the floor, but shattered into
pieces upon it.  Leaving a mess everywhere.

<All the more reason not to stop with only one of these,> he thought,
bringing the Scotch to his lips.

A female hand gently invaded his grip, and held tightly on to the
glass with him before he could take his first sip.

"I don't think this is a good idea," Bobbie stated firmly. "The only
purpose this will serve right now is to help you retreat into hiding
even more."

Will looked up at D'Oro.  Her face, typically cheerful and bright, was
now looking discouraged and disturbed.

With no protest, he relinquished the drink to her, and she placed it
on the far side of the desk.

Then she stood beside him, waiting.

And waiting.

But it was becoming quite clear that Will wasn't going to talk, as had
become the norm with him the past few days. In her frustration, Bobbie
released her dissatisfaction through a series of incomprehensible
expletives.  Then finally spoke aloud when she calmed down enough to
speak in a coherent -- and civil -- manner.

"Mind telling me what's going on with you?"

Riker dropped his head and remained silent.

D'Oro threw up her arms, motioning as if she were pushing him away.
"I don't need this, Will.  You haven't been yourself since we got back
from Janus three days ago and quite frankly I've grown sick of it all.
You won't talk to me. You barely acknowledge me.  And all I hear is
you grumbling about Deanna this and Deanna that.  And something tells
me that maybe I'll be better off on my own. If this is what giving all
of yourself to me is, then I don't want it.  I'm tired of you dumping
your emotional, Betazoid baggage on me.  So do me a favor and take it
somewhere else."

Riker's hand whipped out and grabbed onto D'Oro's before she had the
chance to move an inch.  She winced under the pressure of his grip.

"Don't go," he mumbled.

"What did you say?"

He lifted his head to look at her again and spoke with determination
this time.  "I said that I don't want you to go."

"Then you better give me a pretty damned good reason to stay."

"I love you."

Bobbie peeled his hand off her arm with her fingers and began to
massage the circulation back into it.  "And you love another woman
too," she added derisively.

"No I don't.  Well...yes I do.  Or rather, I did.  But...it's not the
same thing, Bobbie!"  Riker massaged his brow, knowing he looked --
and sounded -- like he was coming apart at the seams.  "That didn't
come out the way I meant it."

"You seem to be doing and saying many things lately that you 'don't
mean', Will.  And I'm getting the brunt of it."

He reached out his hand to D'Oro's again, but held it gently this
time.  And she could feel something pass between them as he did so.
An emotion, originating deep inside him, that tugged at her heart.

Immediately, Bobbie knew that something else was wrong.

"I'm getting the feeling that Deanna isn't the only thing that's
bothering you."

His reply was more deflated than she expected.  "I may not be serving
on the Enterprise anymore."

Bobbie tried to hide her shock as she spoke.  "What happened?"

"Deanna and I had an argument in her office a short while ago and
Captain Picard intervened.  He basically said that we have two weeks
to work things out, or one of us is being posted to another ship."

Bobbie thought for a moment about the situation between Will and
Deanna, which definitely seemed to be irreconcilable.  So that could
only mean...

She pursed her lips.  No sooner had one quick breath escaped through
them, and she became acutely aware of a particular thought nagging at
her.

"Would it be such a bad thing for you to take another posting?"

Riker stared at D'Oro in disbelief.  "How can you even ask a question
like that!?  Of course it is!"

"Why?"

His eyes widened.  "Why...?  If I have to explain, you won't
understand."

"Indulge my ignorance and try me."

Will grumbled at her perseverance and searched, wholeheartedly, for
the explanation.  But, for some reason, right now, he couldn't find
it.

In his frustration and self-pity, Riker leaned an elbow on the
armrest, and rested his head in his hand.  "What have I done..."

"I think it would be more accurate to ask 'what have *you and Deanna*
done'."

Will stared blankly at the wall ahead of him.

"Look, Will.  You took a gamble.  With stakes you weren't counting on.
But you were the dealer in this game.  You and Deanna, both, and
you're going to have to accept that. You've tried everything you can
to make amends with her, and she hasn't been interested in hearing it.
That's her issue now, Will.  Not yours.  Stop taking all the blame and
get on with your life."

Although Riker was still silent, Bobbie knew he was listening to her.
Intently.  The question was, how much was actually getting through to
him.

"You have to let go, Will," she continued in a compassionate voice.
"I may not completely understand the hold that Deanna has on you, but
your relationship with her and all that has happened recently has
consumed you and turned you into a person most people don't want to
know anymore.  Maybe it's time to be open to change and new
opportunities.  Including those that concern which ship you serve
on..."

She paused.

"...Before you become a bitter, lonely old man."

Riker chose that moment to look back at D'Oro, his head still resting
heavily in his hand.  He didn't want to hear this. *Hated* hearing it,
in fact.  But deep down, he acknowledged that she was probably right.

He let out a small chuckle, amazed at his own stupidity when it came
to Bobbie.  He knew they were a good match. He just didn't realize
*how* good, until now.  She offered balance to his life when he
faltered.  Managed to provide perspective when there was chaos.  Was
strong for him when he needed, and soft for him when he wanted.

And now, she was giving him the impetus to go forward. Granted, he
would have to come to terms with his recent actions and decisions --
right or wrong as they might have been -- and learn to live with the
consequences.  And while it wouldn't happen overnight, it would happen
more quickly and easily with Bobbie by his side.  Of that much he was
certain.

Will extended his other hand and pulled her towards him, and with no
resistance, Bobbie allowed herself to be coaxed into his lap.

"In my personal opinion, you're stagnating, Will.  And it's time you
gave complacency a kick in the pants.  Both personally and
professionally.  If you can't give me anything, at least give me the
satisfaction in knowing you'll keep an open mind about your options."

The corners of Riker's mouth lifted slightly.  "I promise I can give
you far more than that, if you're still willing to accept it from me."

Bobbie looked deeply into his eyes, which were filled with passion.
For her.

His eyes...

Looking into hers...

<Gods!  What is it about him and those damned blue eyes?!>

She muttered something under her breath to prove that she wasn't about
to give in so easily to his plea.  Then kissed him gently on the lips.

And then...

Gave in.

Will sighed in relief.  "I'm glad you're with me."

But there was still one small matter with D'Oro that didn't sit well
with the XO.  And he wanted an answer for it.

"Bobbie, were you really going to leave me?"

"Does it matter?  As long as we're together now and want the same
thing from each other?"

"Well, I guess not, but..."

"Does it bother you that I can be as ambiguous as you sometimes?"

Will shrugged.  "A bit, I suppose."

"Good.  Then it looks like you met your match."

He tossed her an infectious grin.  Then claimed her mouth once again
with a kiss that intensified and deepened quickly.  Both of them
desirous to be together, wanting to forget all that had happened and
to start anew.

As Will wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a deep
embrace, Bobbie felt something that seemed odd.

Her bare skin was pressed against his uniform.

Quickly she broke free, jaw dropped open, and looked down, and found
her blouse completely unbuttoned.  For how long it had been that way,
and how Will had managed to do it without her knowing, she wasn't
sure.

But it didn't stop there.

Her pants had been opened as well.

"Wait a second here," D'Oro said with a mixture of sarcasm and
insistence in her voice.  "Do you think you can treat me the way you
did for the past three days, and then just think you can easily use
sex to apologize for it?"

Riker raised a brow, his voice mocking and mimicking hers. "Does it
matter?  As long as we're together now and want the same thing from
each other?"

"Oh shut up..."

With that, D'Oro's blouse fell to the floor.

---

The next morning, Will headed down the corridor towards the turbolift
with more of a spring in his step, feeling better than he had in days.
Not terrific.  But better nonetheless.

He caught up with Ensign Taylor, who happened to be walking just ahead
of him.

<Great>, Taylor thought.  <Nowhere for me to hide this time.>

"On duty, Ensign?" the XO asked as he fell in step with the junior
officer.

"Yes, sir."  Taylor kept his gaze locked forward, not wanting to make
contact with the eyes he was certain were glaring at him right now.
Silently, he prepared himself for another verbal barrage from the
ship's First Officer.

"I've gotten word that you've been putting in a lot of double shifts
recently."

"They've been a bit short-handed in Engineering, sir.  I thought I
could help."  <And I'm sure you're going to find fault with that too,
aren't you.>

"Well, I'll have to make it a point to let CommanderLaForge know he
couldn't have gotten a better officer to provide that assistance.
Have a good day, Ensign."

With that final remark, Riker sped off to the lift and tossed the
Ensign a friendly smile before the doors closed.

Taylor stood immobilized...and bewildered...in the corridor.

---

"Good morning, Data," Commander Riker said as he made his way on to
the Bridge, ready to start another day.

"Captain Picard would like to see you in his Ready Room," the android
said with lightning speed, noting that this time it only took him 4.4
seconds to inform Riker of the Captain's orders.

Will stopped just to the side of the ops console.  "Whatever happened
to good morning?  Or did you sleep well?  Or did you have a nice
evening?"

Data spun around in his chair to face his CO, and cocked his head.
"Good morning.  Did you sleep well?  Did you have a nice evening?"

Shaking his head playfully, Riker slapped him on the shoulder.  "Data,
you're certainly getting the hang of a sense of humor."

As he left for the Ready Room, Data sat quietly, interpreting yet
another human emotion.

Confusion.

---

"You seem to be happier today, Will," Captain Picard stated, quite
pleased to see the more familiar and friendly personality of his First
Officer staring back at him.

"A bit, sir."

"Were you and Deanna able to work things out?" the Captain asked,
hoping to hear some good news about that situation.

Riker's hidden pain surfaced quickly.  So much for feeling a bit
better.  "No sir."

Picard privately cringed, feeling a little more than foolish for
asking such a question.  "I'm sorry to hear that, Will."

"So am I, Captain."

The seconds that led up to Riker speaking again felt awkward for both
officers.  For Picard, because he had made an assumption and knew
better than to do so.  For Will, because his CO's question felt raw in
a still open wound.

Will decided to immediately change the subject.  "Sir, I've been
trying to do some research on the Viking, but the information I've
retrieved is sketchy, at best."

Picard's face brightened at the XO's choice of topic.  "Are you
interested in the First Officer's posting on that ship, Will?"

"Well, I'm trying to consider all my alternatives."

"That's good."

Riker's eyes snapped to attention at the pleased sound in the
Captain's voice.

Picard smiled widely at his second-in-command's response. He rose to
his feet and walked around the desk, then took the seat next to him.

"Don't misinterpret my reaction, Number One.  It's not that I want to
see you leave the Enterprise, but the Viking is precisely the reason I
asked to see you this morning.  It's a brand-spanking new ship, and is
expected to make its maiden voyage in six weeks.  The senior crew is
convening at Starbase 12 within the next two weeks to oversee final
preparations and to become acquainted before shipping out. The reason
you can't find much information on it is because Starfleet isn't
really providing any right now.  In fact, I just found out about the
ship yesterday when Admiral Hayes contacted me."

Riker watched Picard closely.  He seemed...excited...about something.

But what?

"Hayes wanted to know if I could recommend someone for the First
Officer's slot.  Someone who is a strategic thinker and a no-nonsense
leader.  Someone who can be a father figure to the crew and still be
unorthodox on the battlefield."

Riker's eyes widened slightly at this still unknown prospect.

"I recommended you, Will.  The person I believed to be most qualified
for the job.  That's why I wound up at Counselor Troi's office
yesterday.  The computer indicated that you were there, and I wanted
to deliver the news personally.  What occurred after the fact was
secondary...and unfortunate.  My subsequent meeting with you and
Counselor Troi was my way of--"  Picard stopped, knowing better than
to tread there again.  "Well, the reason isn't important."

Riker looked down at his feet, trying to force aside the memory in his
mind and the knot that was tied tightly around his heart.  And he
realized just what the Captain had tried to do for him and Deanna
during that fateful encounter.  And he was appreciative of it -- even
if the method did fail.

"You should know that the Viking is being heralded as Starfleet's new
flagship, and that it supposedly can knock the socks off the
Enterprise.  This is the background information I've received so far."

Picard handed a padd over to his First Officer, who let out a short
whistle as he scanned the material contained in it.

"This is an opportunity of a lifetime for you Will.  A chance to carve
out a niche for yourself in the history books and to put that creative
command style of yours to good use.  To finally have your own starship
family."

He lifted his eyes from the padd and looked back at the Captain.

"I don't think I completely understand..."

"What most people don't know is that the man who will captain the ship
-- Douglas Bordon -- is an older fellow. And this will be his last
hurrah before he retires in one year...after which time the command of
the Viking would be transferred to the First Officer.  Starfleet is
being quite picky about their choice of XO for the ship because their
intention is to fill the slot with the Viking's future captain. They
are more than agreeable to my recommendation, Will. And it's yours if
you want it."

Riker placed the padd back on the desk and settled deeply into the
chair.  Feeling a charge of energy permeate his body.

"Will," Picard continued, "A command posting of your own is long
overdue.  And, quite frankly, there is going to come a time when
Starfleet will just stop offering them to you.  I think you should
seriously consider this offer.  And personally, I think you'd be a
fool to turn it down."

"I appreciate everything you've done for me, sir, but I need just a
little time to--"

Riker quickly corrected the direction of his reply, realizing it could
easily be misconstrued.  "It's not that I'm unappreciative, sir.  And
I'm not saying 'no'.  It's just that...well...there's someone I want
to talk to first."

"Very well, Number One," Picard said, already knowing what his First
Officer's decision was going to be.  He rose from the chair and
extended his hand to Commander Riker. "But the least you can do is
allow me to be the first person to congratulate you on your new
posting."

Will chuckled as he stood, then he shook the Captain's hand heartily.
"Thank you, sir."

"You know," Picard added, as he headed towards the replicator and
ordered his customary tea, "I have to admit that the tides of change
seem to be with us lately."

"Sir?"

The Captain took a cautious sip of the hot liquid.  "Well, if truth be
told, Will, everything that has happened to you lately has gotten me
thinking about my own life."

"Really?  About what?"

"About missed opportunities.  About new challenges. About feeling too
comfortable with the status quo."  He sat back down in his chair
behind the desk.  "I've decided to do something I should have done a
long time ago, Will."

"Are you accepting an Admiralty, Captain?"

"No, it's much more scary than that," came the teasing reply.

Riker tossed a questioning look at Picard.  What could be more scary
than...?

A broad grin crossed his face when he became aware of what it was.

"As soon as I'm done here, I'm going to meet with a certain blonde
physician -- unannounced -- and convince her to go back to being a
redhead.  And then, I'm going to convince her that we should explore
our relationship further."

---

Riker sat on his couch, nestled up against a couple of pillows.  Still
in uniform even though his shift ended hours ago.  His knees were
drawn up so his thighs could serve as a makeshift desktop.

He placed the padd he was working with on a nearby table when the door
chimed.

<Time to bite the bullet,> he thought as he walked to the door.

He took in one long, deep breath, and let D'Oro in.

"Your message said it was urgent," she said, running her hands over
his chest as they kissed.  Bobbie quickly attempted to undo his
uniform, hoping that what Riker wanted to discuss could wait until
later.

It couldn't.

Will separated himself from her and motioned for her to sit with him
on the sofa.  "I've decided to take the posting on the Viking, Bobbie.
It's an opportunity I'd be crazy to pass up and I wanted to talk to
you about it."

D'Oro knelt down beside him.  Wondering where this conversation was
heading.

He quietly took in another long, deep breath.  "I want you to come
with me.  We would have to leave in a couple of days, which means you
won't be going home to Antarus III.  But you'll probably be able to--"

Bobbie threw her arms around Riker and attacked him before he could
finish, causing the two of them to tumble off the couch.  Both landed
on the floor with a loud thud.

Will gasped for the air that had been knocked out of his lungs.

"I take that to mean a 'yes'...?"

---

Stars streaked quietly outside the viewport as the Enterprise made its
way through space.

The cabin was barely illuminated, the dim light silhouetting two
huddled figures on the long couch.

There was no movement and no sound, for the longest time. Except for
the occasional sob the dark-haired woman let out as the red-haired
woman held her in comfort.

"It's over, Beverly," Troi said blandly, finally breaking the
deafening stillness in the room.

"How can you possibly say that?" Crusher asked, stroking Deanna's
curly, black locks.  "I'm sure that you and Will can work things out
and come to some sort of reconciliation. You've both been through a
lot together,  You just need to take it slowly and one step at a
time."

"You don't understand.  There is no more time.  He's leaving this ship
-- and my life -- for good."

"You don't know that, Deanna.  You're assuming--"

Beverly stopped abruptly when she saw those deep, tear-filled eyes
looking up at her.  When it came to the special relationship and
connection that Riker and Troi had, there were just some things a
person didn't question.

"No.  I've lost him.  I've pushed him too far...and now it's too
late."

---
CHAPTER 8
---

The band's music was lively and the crowd was getting noisier by the
minute.

As Will Riker stood in the center of the rec. room with Bobbie, Data,
Crusher and Picard, he would have bet that every single person on
board the Enterprise was there. There was barely room enough to move,
let alone breathe. Even though the party had been underway for a
couple of hours now, people were still dropping in to offer their
congratulations.  But Ten Forward was currently bursting at the seams,
prompting the late arrivals to spill over into the adjoining corridors
to continue the festivities out there.  In spite of the fact that so
many people were there to bid him farewell, it was painfully obvious
to Will that one person in particular was absent from it all.

Since officially announcing his decision to accept the First Officer's
slot on the Viking yesterday morning, he hadn't seen Deanna at all.
And it wasn't as if he expected to either. She did, after all, tell
him on more than one occasion to get lost.  But the finality of their
whole relationship was eating away at him, slowly and steadily.

A nudge from Bobbie's elbow indicated he had been lost in his own
reverie a little too long, and Riker accordingly focused his attention
back to the witty conversation taking place among the four people in
his company.  All the while watching D'Oro closely.  Studying how her
eyes brightened up whenever she laughed.  How she could converse on an
intellectual level with the Captain and still throw an occasional jab
at the man just because she could get away with it.  How she could
make the people around her feel so comfortable and at ease with
themselves.

Bobbie was almost everything he could want in a woman.

And yet, something in the big scheme of things didn't feel right.  As
Riker took a sip from the drink he held, he acknowledged that he could
not accept a life without his Imzadi, and deep down he knew he still
needed her.  He would always need her.  The question was, how could he
get her back into it?

Looking back at Captain Picard and listening to him speak, Will
discovered a solution to his dilemma almost  immediately.  And when he
surveyed the room, he found the excuse he needed to disappear for a
bit to try and put his plan into action.

"Sorry folks, but I need to take a break from this crowd. I'll be back
in a little while," he politely interrupted.

"Are you alright?" Bobbie asked in concern as she grabbed his arm.
Although she knew that Riker had made his mind up about leaving the
Enterprise and that he had been through quite an ordeal with Troi, she
had seen this particular expression on his face a little too often for
comfort recently.  He was walking an emotional tightrope, in spite of
the fact that he had made the final decision to move on with his life.
And it worried her.  She was all too aware that he was still having
trouble letting go of Deanna, and not understanding the unusual
aspects of his relationship with the Betazoid left her, at times,
feeling vulnerable and insecure about the prospect.

"Would you like me to go with you?" she asked.

Riker shook his head and replied firmly.  "No.  I just need to--"

His hesitation made Bobbie even more suspicious.

"...to take care of something," he finished abruptly.

The Antarian's eyes narrowed as they watched the First Officer make
his temporary leave from the party.  She wanted to follow him to find
out where he was going, even though she was already fairly certain of
where that might be.  But good manners and her own self respect
dictated that she stay behind.  That, and the fact that she had sworn
not to let jealousy interfere with another relationship of hers again.
In the meantime, she could only try her best to wait and see what
unfolded.

Taking in a deep breath, D'Oro tried to focus on something to soothe
her jarred nerves.  She settled her attentions back on the melodious
voice of Captain Picard.

---

Will's strides became longer and more determined the closer he got to
Deanna's quarters.

When he finally arrived at her door, Riker stood ramrod straight and
forcefully pressed the chime.  Then waited for her to appear.

He didn't have to wait long.

And he didn't give her a chance to invite him in.  Or turn him away.

Using his imposing stature to get what he wanted, Will's blue eyes
locked with her large dark ones, and he maneuvered with blatant
purpose into her room.  Forcing Troi to move backwards with steps that
matched his to let him in.  Or else possibly be knocked over by him.

Once inside the doors, Riker kept up his pace until Deanna's back made
direct and firm contact with a wall.  She let out a low grunt in
response...

And was pinned.

Riker broke the silence first.

"I want you to be with me on the Viking, Deanna."

---

Bobbie just couldn't do it.

As much as she tried to concentrate on something other than the fact
that Riker had just left to go see Troi, she just couldn't control
herself.  She cursed the fact that every time her relationship with
Will took one step forward, it seemed to take three steps back shortly
afterwards, leaving her feeling uncertain about their future together
and even more possessive towards him.

D'Oro clenched her fists, fighting those damnable emotions. But as
quickly as the battle had begun was as quickly as it was lost.  She
had to take action.  Right now.

She excused herself from the group and impatiently elbowed her way out
of Ten Forward.  It wasn't until she was exposed to the openness of
the corridor that Bobbie became aware of her heart beating
uncontrollably inside her chest.  And her irrepressible urge to get to
Troi's quarters.

Bobbie maneuvered her way through partygoers scattered throughout the
hall as she headed for the turbolift, knocking into one as she turned
a corner.  Once inside the lift, her mind began racing with thoughts
of Will and Deanna.  She had said she wasn't going down without a
fight.  She was more than prepared to give one.

As the doors to Deck 8 opened, Bobbie took in a deep breath.  Then she
marched right out into the corridor, setting a direct course for Room
910 with an intense desire to claim her man.

Bobbie took in one final deep breath as she stood in front of Troi's
doorway.  She extended an itchy trigger finger towards the keypad.

And pressed the chime.

---

Before Troi could react and Will could speak further, the door chimed.

Startled by the interruption, Deanna quickly pushed him away, more
than grateful for the opportunity the doorbell gave her.  Riker was
obviously trying to use the element of surprise to gain the upper
hand.  But now his tactic had been diverted, and she was given the
chance to gather her composure and be better prepared to discuss his
proposition later on.  Or argue about it, as was more the norm between
them lately.

The first thing Deanna came in contact with when the doors slid open
was Bobbie's anger.

The second was Bobbie's shoulder bumping into her body as she stomped
inside.

"Mind explaining what's going on?" D'Oro asked crossly, glaring over
at Riker who was still standing near the wall.

He was not pleased with her timing.  "What are you doing here Bobbie?
I thought I told you to stay behind."

She stopped within a few feet from him.  Deanna quietly pulled up the
rear.

"I didn't realize you were giving me orders.  *Sir*."

Riker rubbed his brow.  His fluctuating feelings about losing Troi
were making him feel emotionally drained and Bobbie's attitude was
trying his patience.  "Don't start this, Bobbie.  Not now."

"You already started something, Will -- the day you told me you loved
me and then threw me into this mess."  She repeated her question in an
angry tone.  "Now, tell me what is going on.  I want to know why you
came here.  After everything you promised me, you owe me that much."

"I'll explain later.  Right now, I just need to be alone with
Deanna--"

"It's *always* Deanna with you!  She *always* comes first and I'm
*always* a distant second, and I'm sick and tired of it!"  Her loud
voice quickly turned exasperated and sarcastic.  "And here I thought
that we would leave together to start a new life and put this all
behind us.  Have a real future together.  Gods, was I ever wrong in
thinking that."

Something inside Riker snapped.  He was tired of being pulled in all
directions by these two women for the past two months.  His ego had
been bruised and battered, his feelings had been tossed out and
stomped on, and his heart had been thrown back and forth like a tennis
ball.  He wanted to take back control of his life, and at this point
in time he was too emotionally exhausted to care how it was done.  Or
at whose expense is occurred.

"Bobbie," he said through thinning lips, "You're pushing me at the
wrong time.  I'd suggest you back off before--."

"Before what?  Before you hurt my feelings?  Give me a break, Will.
I've had plenty of practice in that department with you already."

"You don't know what it really feels like for me to hurt your
feelings.  Don't push me into doing that, Bobbie.  So
please...back...off..."

"No!  I've been patient and understanding, and taken more crap from
you than I probably should have.  I want some answers and I want them
now.  In case you haven't noticed, I have feelings too.  The world
doesn't exist solely for the pleasure of Will Riker you know."

"I SAID *BACK OFF*!"

Deanna was certain that Will's booming voice could be heard light
years away.  She had never seen Riker so angry before, but then again,
he had never been in such emotional turmoil before either.

When it became apparent that he and D'Oro were going to remain toe to
toe and at loggerheads with one another, Troi gently pulled on his arm
to move him into a neutral corner.

"Take a deep breath and calm down, Will.  Nothing will get solved with
behavior like that."

Riker allowed himself to be moved to the side.  Then he flung his arm
out to disengage himself from Troi's grip and turned his back on the
women.  Some perverse part of him actually felt a lot better for
having exploded the way he did. He leaned against the viewport's edge,
folded his arms, and stared outside in silence.

"Let's try to discuss this civilly," Deanna said, grasping onto
Bobbie's elbow and guiding her to a nearby chair.  "I'm sure there's a
very good explanation for all of this," she added, sending a
reassuring glance her way.

She walked over to Riker and poked him in the back. "Right Will?"

He grumbled something under his breath.  From experience, Deanna knew
better than to ask him to repeat it.

Bobbie's shoulders slumped when she spoke.  "I'll tell you the
explanation, Deanna.  He can't let go of you.  He can't get you out of
his head.  Or his heart.  And there seems to be barely enough room for
Dr. Bobbie D'Oro.  He's been lying to himself about it, and he's been
lying to me as well."

Deanna pulled up a chair and sat down next to D'Oro, interlacing her
fingers on her lap.  Surprised by her sudden ability to react in a
level-headed manner towards Riker and the fact that her feelings
towards him had so quickly softened.  She suspected it was probably
due in large part to Bobbie.  It was the first time since she had met
the Antarian that she allowed herself to sense the strong emotions the
woman held for the man.  It reminded her of herself, so many years
ago.

"Bobbie, I've known Will a long time.  He may be many things..."  She
glanced over to his rigid body.  "...but he isn't a liar."

"Then why did he ask me to be with him on the Viking, and then come
here the night before we're supposed to leave to be with you?"

"I don't know.  Why don't you ask him that. If you remain calm, I'm
sure he'll answer you."

D'Oro was appreciative of Troi's efforts.  Her very presence and tone
of voice made her relax, and gave her the chance to think about the
whole situation instead of reacting blindly to it.  She looked at the
massive man staring out the window.  Although she couldn't see the
expression on his face, his body language told her that she had
assumed too much and taken it too far.  And instead of fighting for
him, she wound up  fghting with him.  She opened her mind, took a deep
breath, and spoke softly.

"Will...?  I'd like to know the answer.  Please."

Riker rubbed his hand over the back of his neck, trying to massage out
the knot he felt in it.  He turned around to face Bobbie and prepared
himself for the worst.  Based on Bobbie's current state of mind, he
didn't think she was going to handle his announcement all that well.
But at this point, he figured it would be best to just get it over
with.  He spoke in the calmest voice he could find.

"I came to see Deanna to ask her to transfer to the Viking. But you
should know that --"

D'Oro's open mind quickly shut.  "You see?!" she exclaimed, vaulting
out of her seat.  She spun around to face Deanna.  "It's you he
wants!"

"Bobbie, you can't make that assumption.  You didn't lethim explain--"

Bobbie flew out of her quarters before Deanna could finish.

"I knew she wouldn't understand," Riker said, slumping into the chair
next to Troi.

"Understand what!?  You didn't tell her anything!" she said, barely
hiding the irritation in her voice.  "You know, you really do some
dumb things when it comes to women, Will."

Riker looked at Troi with arched brows.

"Oh, come on Will.  Don't give me that look.  You know it's the
truth."

Will didn't know what to say.  She was probably right.  She usually
was.

He was about to get out of the chair, but Deanna tugged on his arm to
make him sit back down.

"It would be better for you to be apart for a little while and let
things cool down.  You can talk with her later," she said. "In the
meantime, let's take advantage of the situation.  I assume it was your
intention to discuss this matter with me in private anyway."

Riker looked at the door, then back at Deanna, and let it go. He would
handle one crisis at a time.  He turned his body fully to face Troi,
cleared his head, and then let it all out.

"Deanna, I'm having a very difficult time accepting that you aren't
going to be a part of my life anymore.  And although you may feel
differently because of what I've done, I don't want us to separate.
So I thought I had found the perfect solution -- assuming you are
agreeable -- and I came here tonight to convince you -- or ask you  --
to consider coming on board the Viking as Ship's Counselor."

Deanna looked at Will with a frozen expression on her face. She had
wanted to get back together with him.  But hesitated.  In the blink of
an eye, he hooked up with another woman.  Then she had a miscarriage.
And she shunned him from her life.

And now he was asking her...this?

People had said before that she and Will had an unusual relationship.
This convinced her.  She started to laugh.

"Did I say something funny?" he asked testily.

"No," Troi replied, forcing her nervous laughter back inside. "No, you
didn't."

Then she sighed in resignation.  The whole situation between her and
Will wasn't funny.  It was bizarre and very sad.  Deanna had now
realized exactly what they were doing to one another.  It had to be
stopped.

She slipped her hands into his and looked directly into his eyes.
"Will, for a long time you and I have been each other's safety net.
Been there for each other to pick up the pieces when it was necessary.
Been everything from lovers to friends to enemies.  But all
relationships change, and ours has too.  I didn't want to accept it at
first, and now I see that you can't accept it either."

Riker remained silent.

"But tonight," she continued, "when I saw Bobbie fight for you and
felt the passion she holds for you, I realized that I have been
selfish about our relationship.  And you have been too.  You had said
a while ago that if we were meant to be together, it would have
happened a long time ago. You were right.  But neither of us has tried
to accept our relationship for what it really, truly has become.  And
we've hurt each other's feelings in the process, and someone else's
too.  It's time for us to let go, Will.  And move on."

"But--"

She hushed him with a finger to his lips.  "I appreciate your offer,
but you know I can't accept it.  It would do more damage than good if
I did.  Besides, my place -- my happiness -- is here aboard the
Enterprise.  Just as yours was.  And now will be somewhere else --
with someone else.  Let's accept what we have been to each other for a
long time.  Nothing more and nothing less.  We owe it to ourselves to
finally do that, Will."

Riker stared at her in silence.  He had no idea what to say, maybe
because she had just said it all for the both of them. And so
perfectly.  Then again, Deanna Troi usually did.

"Go to her and move on, Imzadi.  She needs you and you need her.  More
than you need me right now.  As Ship's Counselor or otherwise.  You're
fooling yourself to think anything else.  So, do whatever it takes to
get her back."

Deanna squeezed his hands and looked intently into his eyes,
emphasizing her next point.

"You don't want to make the same mistake a second time."

Riker swallowed hard.  It was a painful memory and it took a lot for
her to say those words.  He smiled, gently, realizing she was truly
the best friend he ever had.

He cradled her face in his hands, closed his eyes, and pressed his
lips against hers in a sweet and lingering kiss.

In that moment, he felt her mind reach out to his.  He could feel her
laying next to him.  Smell the sweetness of the Jalara Jungle.  Hear
their sighs each time they made love.

See the memories...

And then, like a book, Deanna ended the chapter and turned the page.

When they opened their eyes, Will brushed away a tear that lingered on
her cheek.

<Maybe in another time, or another place, we could have-->

She placed her finger over his lips again.  <But we didn't.>

Silently he rose from the sofa and walked to the door.  Her final
words caught him mid-stride.  He stopped.

"It was a boy, you know.  Don't ask me how I know, I just do.  And I
thought you would want to know too."

Riker's eyes filled instantly.  He looked up at the ceiling, breathed
in deeply, and forced back the tears.  Then turned to look at her.

"Goodbye, Deanna."

"This isn't the end of our relationship.  We'll keep in touch and see
each other as often as we can, I'm sure.  So how about...until next
time, Will."

He smiled and nodded.  "Until next time..."

Will Riker walked out Deanna Troi's door for the very last time.

---

Riker stood in front of D'Oro's guest quarters, an emotional mess.
His only hope was that he could pick up the pieces with her now, too.
He dared not think of what would happen if he couldn't.

He pressed the chime and a moment later the doors slid open.  But no
one was there.  He peered just inside, and saw Bobbie standing off to
the right.  Her back was facing him.

Will stepped inside just far enough to allow the doors to close behind
him.

"Bobbie, I think I need to explain a few things to you."

She didn't respond.  Just stood still, not wanting to face him.

"I want you to know that although I couldn't let go of her, it didn't
mean you came second.  You never did."

He walked over and stood behind her, and spoke in a soft and deep
voice.  "I want you to be with me Bobbie.  For the long haul.  Please
come with me tomorrow."

She still wouldn't reply.  Will watched her shoulders rise and fall
with each breath she took.

"I know the whole scenario in Deanna's quarters seemed - well, it
wasn't at all what it seemed.  I'll admit that asking her to come with
me was a selfish thing to do, but I've been through a helluva lot, and
I'm just about at my wits' end in trying to salvage the relationships
I have with two of the most important women in my life."

Bobbie cocked her head and finally spoke.  "What did Deanna say to
your offer?"

"She turned it down.  Which I expected.  But I needed to ask her."

He coaxed her to turn around and face him.  D'Oro stared blindly at
his chest, not daring to make eye contact.

"I had to explore all my options.  *All* of them.  Just like you had
said I should."

Bobbie's attempt to stand her ground was beginning to falter.  When
Will was soft and gentle, as he was being with her right now, she
became putty in his hands.  She lifted her head, and looked directly
into his eyes.  Beneath the pain and hope, she saw what Deanna Troi
had been trying to tell her.  Will Riker never lied.

She smiled, and accepted his apology.  Again.

At that moment, going back to his farewell party just didn't seem the
right thing to do.  In fact, it was the last thing he wanted to do.
Instead, Riker chose to seal his promise to Bobbie in the best way he
knew how.

He led her to the bed, laid her down, and took her tenderly and
quietly.  Not once taking his eyes off her face.

They returned to the party exactly thirty-seven minutes later.

---

The Captain's quarters on board the Viking were large.

One half of the orderly main living area sported a long, deep sofa and
three armchairs, all laid upon an antique area rug.  The other half
displayed a round, dark wood dining able with four chairs surrounding
it.  Paintings adorned the walls, small plants topped some of the end
tables and larger ones filled in corners, giving it a warm and
inviting appeal. In stark comparison, the office next door had a more
scattered and busy look, with computer padds tossed upon the desk and
some strewn on the floor beside a high-backed, yet functional, chair.
A small library, which had been dubbed 'the playroom' by the
occupants, adjoined that space, and was filled with books on shelves
and other paraphernalia thrown about the floor.  The infamous trombone
was nestled in the corner just opposite the entrance.  Two bedrooms,
the larger of which had been named 'the other playroom', completed the
layout.

It was in that larger bedroom that Captain William T. Riker had been
sleeping, uninterrupted until he heard rustling sounds coming from the
outer quarters.

He lifted his head briefly and lazily, then turned to face the other
way, and sank comfortably back into the pillow's inviting softness.
Another sound from outside the bedroom fought with his intense desire
to fall back to sleep.  And his eyes fluttered open.

That was when he caught sight of the dark-haired beauty sleeping next
to him.  Will's eyes widened with apprehension.

He shot up and cursed to himself, then began to vigorously shake the
petite female's body.

"Deanna!" he whispered loudly.  "Deanna you have to get up!"

The figure stirred a bit, then moaned something that made no sense in
the English language, and fell right back off into a deep slumber.

Will cursed again.  He had to wake her up and get her out of there
unnoticed before...

Bobbie's figure emerged through the darkness of the doorway.

"Computer, quarter lights," she commanded in a fatigued voice.

The dim illumination immediately brought D'Oro's attention to the bed.

"You're back early," Will said with an expression that men typically
wore when they were caught with their pants down.

She stood there, rigidly straight, and folded her arms across her
chest.  Her voice was low and alarmingly controlled through tight
lips.  For Riker, that was not a good sign.

"I can't believe you, Will.  I go away on a conference for a few days
and look what happens!"  She swept an arm across and pointed out the
figure sleeping next to him.

Riker attempted his most earnest reply.  "This is not what it seems,
Bobbie."

But when he looked at Deanna next to him, and then looked back at
D'Oro's angered face, he realized it was probably best to just not say
anything further.

Bobbie shook her head and made her dissatisfaction very clear.  "I
can't believe you would do this.  Ever since you've been promoted to
Captain of the Viking, you seem to think you can just take
any...liberties...you want."

Riker dropped his head.  What could he possibly say?  This wasn't the
first time this happened...

The body beside him began to stir, then stretched and yawned loudly.

Deanna slowly sat up and searched out Will's body.  She dropped her
head heavily upon his broad chest, and wrapped her arms about him.  It
was an uncomfortable position, but she didn't care.  She missed his
warmth.

In a matter of seconds, her eyes blinked open and focused on Bobbie's
figure at the foot of the bed.

Large, bright, playful, blue eyes.

"Mommy!"

Smiling widely, the two-year old kicked off the covers and scrambled
to Bobbie, who quickly picked her up for a big hug.

Riker ran his fingers through his hair and over his beard, both of
which were now slightly peppered with grey.  A gift bestowed on him
from the stresses associated with commanding Starfleet's flagship.  He
rolled out of bed to greet his wife, who was desperately trying to
ignore the fact that he was wearing only blue pajama bottoms and that
his chest was fully exposed.  Or the fact that it had been three long
days since...

Riker saw the familiar lustful look in her eyes and returned it.
Bobbie looked away.  Those damn blue eyes always threatened her sense
of control.

"How many times have I said you shouldn't let her fall asleep with
you, Will?"  Riker snuck in a kiss on the lips. "It only makes it
harder for her to sleep on her own, you know."

He grinned widely.  "Face it, Bobbie.  You're outnumbered by us."

"Hmmm.  And you claim she's not daddy's little girl.  I'll bet you
even gave her cookies for breakfast every morning while I was away."

"No mommy," Riker heard Deanna reply as they headed through the other
bedroom door.  "Sometimes daddy gave me ice cream."

Will chuckled, and headed to the bathroom to freshen up. When he
returned to the bedroom, Bobbie was sitting on the edge of the bed,
her back to him, pulling her high heels off.

He leaned against the doorway and watched her in silence. Thinking
about how much had changed for him over the past three years.  Who
would have guessed he would have ever left the Enterprise.  Who would
have guessed he would have ever accepted a captaincy on another ship.
Who would have guessed he would have ever gotten married...

He had Deanna Troi to thank for that one.  He smiled at the thought.

And, like Troi had said, they still kept in contact, sending
communiques to one another on a weekly basis.  In fact, he felt closer
to her now than he ever did before.  Strange, how separating
themselves had actually brought them closer to one another.  And
strengthened their friendship.

Riker crossed the room and sat down beside Bobbie.

"How was the conference?" he asked.

"Actually, it would have been boring if it weren't for Deanna."

"Deanna Troi was there?" he asked with piqued interest. "Funny, I was
just thinking about her."

"Deanna Troi-*Coleman*," she corrected.

Riker rolled his eyes.  She may have been married, but to him, she
would always be Deanna Troi.

"Well," Bobbie continued, "it turned out there was some sort of
psychology conference going on at the same time and we ran into each
other the first day."

Riker felt a little jilted.  "Really?  Why didn't you tell me? We
spoke to each other often enough, so it's not like you didn't have the
opportunity.  And now that I think about it, why didn't she just
contact me herself?"

A wicked smile flashed across Bobbie's face, and she slid onto his
lap.  "Because we didn't want to spoil the surprise," she whispered
with a gentle nibble on his ear.

"The surprise...?"

"Deanna's coming on board tomorrow," she said with a huge smile.
"You've got breakfast scheduled with her at 0800 and two days after
that to play catch up face to face before she has to go back to
Betazed."

Will smiled widely in anticipation.  It had been six months since he
last saw her...the day she got married.  "Well, I'll try and be a good
host, then," he replied, sliding his hands under her blouse, pulling
her in closer to him.

Will's and Bobbie's attentions were now being diverted to another
subject that was starting to rise.

She grinned in expectation.  Yes, three days without Will Riker's
'expertise' was three days too long.  She pulled her hair over a
shoulder, letting it rest on her breast.  Exposing the full length of
her neck to him.  Then began gently  fingering the edge of the deep
vee in her blouse to tease him even more.  "You are quite the officer
and gentleman, Will Riker.  I like that in a man."

Will remembered those words from the night they met.  He began to
slowly kiss down the length of her neck.  "What else do you like in a
man?"

Bobbie ran her fingers down his chest and insinuated her hand inside
his pajamas, searching out the object of her fascination.  "What have
you got?"

Will Riker pulled away a moment and looked down at her hidden hand.
Then directly into her eyes.

And grinned.

---

The End