The BLTS Archive - Realization series #2: Realized by plumtuckered (plumtuckered@earthlink.net) --- ARCHIVE: Anywhere if you want it, just let me know DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters in the Enterprise world COMMENTS: I have NEVER written anything like this before so please be understanding if I've gotten something wrong or if you need to see your dentist. I truly enjoyed writing this as I think these two characters have something truly special. I think in the end, this may have turned out to be my fantasy as well as Jon Archer's. --- He'd had the same dream several times over the past few years but in the dream, his eyes had always been closed. Jonathan Archer, captain of the starship Enterprise, had never seen his mysterious lover, the woman who took him to the edge each and every time. And for all those years, it didn't matter to him. He'd simply wake from his dream, tend to his needs, then curl back up and fall back into a deep sleep, satisfied that one night he would see the face of this woman who gave him such indefinable pleasure. Now as Jon sat in his ready room staring at the wall, he could finally say that he'd seen the face of his mystery lover. He could remember his dream vividly. His eyes had been closed again but, as always, he'd felt the incredible sensations as he'd slowly penetrated then started an easy rhythm, in and out, over and over again, memorizing each precious thrust as each grew in intensity. And as always, the crescendo was indescribable, something he'd never, ever felt before with any other lover. As Jon had reached the precipice of release, he'd opened his eyes to see the beautiful face beneath him and then he'd toppled into the most breathtaking orgasm he'd ever experienced. He'd awakened in his quarters with a start, embarrassed to find his Starfleet issued blue briefs in need of changing. Jon sat back in his chair. He closed his eyes, remembering the intensity of his dream, how real it had all felt, and how very real his reaction had been. And he remembered the face of his lover. Trip. His body was beginning to respond again to the very thought of making love to his best friend. Jon stood and walked over to his view port, taking deep breaths to calm himself. He chided himself for acting like a horny adolescent instead of a man in his forties. Jon expelled a long breath. He'd left Charles Tucker III sleeping in sickbay the prior night, the commander having nearly passed out from exhaustion and lack of food. One simple question from Dr. Phlox had freed something Jon had buried for so long, he'd nearly convinced himself it simply wasn't true. There was no way it was true. But as he had gazed down on the sleeping face of his best friend, he'd known. His mystery lover was not a woman. Jon was completely and hopelessly in love with Enterprise's Chief Engineer. The young man he'd known for almost a decade. The captain turned and left his ready room. --- Sickbay was relatively quiet, Dr. Phlox nowhere to be seen. Jon's eyes settled quickly on the still form lying on a bio bed and he smiled. He quietly walked over to the bed and looked at its occupant. Trip was still asleep. Jon just gazed upon the peaceful face. He looked at the lips he'd so gently kissed the night before after Trip had fallen into a drug-induced sleep. He reached out and lightly brushed the engineer's soft lower lip with his index finger. Jon closed his eyes as his mind wandered back to his passion-filled dream and again he felt the unmistakable stirring. Trip had been looking back at him, his light blue eyes shadowed but intense. Then those eyes had squeezed shut in utter bliss and he'd whispered Jon's name. Not "Cap'n" but "Jon" and that had pushed Jon over the precipice. The memory was etched into Jon's mind, the sound of Trip's voice echoed in his ears. "Good morning, Captain." Jon nearly jumped as Phlox suddenly appeared at his side. He quickly pulled his finger back. "I didn't mean to startle you," continued the doctor with a smile. "I---I---was just checking on Trip," Jon stammered. Then he gained control, stood straight and cleared his throat. "I'm glad to see he's still sleeping." "He had a rough night but I think he has managed to get some much needed rest. I recommend we let him wake when he's ready." "Of course. I'd like to give him some time off but I know him too well. He likes to keep busy when he's got something bothering him." "And how did you sleep, Captain?" Jon felt his face flush and he turned his eyes quickly back to Trip. "I slept well, thanks." Phlox remained quiet but Jon could feel his bright blue eyes looking at him in curiosity. The captain shifted uncomfortably on his feet. "What do you want me to say, Phlox?" Jon finally asked in frustration. "Yes, I'm in love with him. But like I said last night, it doesn't matter. I'm his commanding officer and his best friend." "I didn't say anything, Captain," replied Phlox, his voice light with amusement. Jon sighed. He reached out a hand and gently brushed back Trip's hair. "I don't know what to do," he said quietly. "Commander Tucker is a very understanding young man, Captain. Maybe you should just talk to him," suggested the doctor. The captain shook his head. He continued his gentle caress. "He's got way too much troubling him right now. I won't add to that by telling him his best friend and captain is having dreams about him." "Dreams?" "Oh yeah," Jon replied. "I'm a grown man and I'm acting like a boy going through puberty." He tipped his head, his eyes fixed on Trip's face. "But if I can only have him in my dreams, then I'll suffer through them," he smiled. Then he felt himself blush. "I'm sorry, Phlox. I shouldn't have---." "Nonsense, Captain," shooshed Phlox. "I'm glad you feel at ease enough to talk to me." Jon looked up at him. "Any recommendations? Besides telling Trip that is?" "Cap'n?" Jon abruptly pulled his hand away and looked down into the confused face of his chief engineer. "What am I doing in sickbay?" Trip asked, rubbing his eyes. "You don't remember? You nearly collapsed in engineering," Jon explained. He helped Trip sit up, quickly placing his fantasies on the backburner. The young man swung his legs over the edge of the bed then rubbed his face. "How long have I been asleep?" "Maybe seven hours or so. How do you feel?" asked Dr. Phlox. "Okay," Trip replied. He ran his hand through his hair causing it to stick out. "What time is it? I should get to engineering." He hopped off the bed. "Not so fast, Commander," clucked Phlox. "You need to eat breakfast first. And I mean a good meal not just a cup of coffee." Jon watched Trip's face closely as the engineer threw the doctor a tense look. He seemed different somehow, stretched tighter, the tension in his body palpable. Jon chided himself again for his dream. Now was the time to deal with reality and not fantasy, and the reality was that Trip was hurting. The captain took Trip's forearm gently. "What's wrong?" he asked. "Nothing, Cap'n. I just hate to be late for my shift," Trip replied tersely "My commanding officer won't tolerate tardiness." He attempted a smile but failed miserably. "Trip." The younger man averted his eyes, refusing to respond. Jon exchanged a concerned look with Phlox then looked at Trip again. "Come on," the captain finally said, gently pulling Trip's arm. "Breakfast is waiting. I'll ask Chef to whip up some flapjacks. How does that sound?" Trip nodded then obligingly allowed Jon to guide him out of sickbay. "We'll stop by your quarters so you can grab a shower first," Jon said. "Make sure you also have a decent lunch and dinner, Commander!" called Phlox. --- The captain waited patiently on Trip's bunk as the engineer showered. Trip hadn't said anything since they'd left sickbay so Jon knew something was really troubling him. When his friend stepped out of the bathroom, Jon felt suddenly warm. He had seen Trip naked many, many times over the years but up until now, he'd looked upon him only as a friend. Things had changed now so he carefully averted his gaze. The engineer finished drying himself then got dressed and combed his hair. Then the two men left and headed to the captain's mess. --- Jon took a sip of his orange juice as he watched Trip poke at his food. "You need to eat that, Commander," he said firmly. Trip looked up at him with a scowl. "I'm not a child, Cap'n. I'll eat when I damn well want to eat," he spat bitterly. The captain was taken aback. He put down his glass and remained silent. Trip sighed. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "No problem." "Yes it is a problem. You're just trying to help," Trip replied. He put his fork down then placed both elbows on the table on either side of his plate. He dropped his head into his hands. "I'm sorry," he repeated. Jon could sense that Trip was nearing his own, very different precipice but the captain didn't want to push too hard. He'd done that in the past and Trip had railed against him. Now he'd just wait. Trip sat quietly, still holding his head in his hands. Jon could see his profile and watched as his friend's jaw muscles twitched. From the first minute he'd met Trip, Jon had always felt the need to protect the young man. Now with the realization that he loved him, the need was overwhelming. All he wanted to do was take Trip in his arms and rock him ever so gently, tell him everything would be okay then tenderly kiss him. But he knew Trip wouldn't stand for that. Even as friends, they had never embraced. Jon had always thought that odd. His own father and mother had always demonstrated their love for their son by strong hugs and affectionate touches. But Trip had never been physically demonstrative in his feelings towards his friends. Trip was a listener and a counselor and his expressive face and beautiful eyes conveyed his affections very clearly. The engineer shifted slightly in his chair. "I had dreams last night," he whispered tightly. Jon swallowed. "Dreams?" "That's why I haven't been sleeping. The minute I close my eyes, I see Lizzie," Trip continued softly. "I watch her die. I'm there with her and---and I watch her die." His voice cracked. Jon placed a comforting hand on Trip's arm but he remained silent. "I try to help her, Cap'n, but I can't. She looks right at me then reaches for me but I can't move. Then---then she's gone." The commander moved his hands to cover his face. "I can't help her," he repeated. Jon slowly stood and moved behind Trip. He placed his hands on his friend's shoulders and gently kneaded them. The muscles were taut so he used more pressure. "I couldn't help her, Cap'n," Trip whispered. The first sobs were soft and Jon could feel his friend fighting against them. He continued the gentle pressure on his engineer's shoulders then finally he felt the walls crumble and the sobs break free. Jon leaned forward and placed his chin on the top of Trip's head. He kept his hands on Trip's shoulders and whispered soothing words as his friend's body shook with his release. After several minutes, Trip quieted. Jon sat back down but kept his eyes on the engineer. "Sorry about that," Trip said as he wiped at his face with his hands. He glanced at Jon briefly then averted his eyes in embarrassment. "I didn't mean to unload on you like that." Jon smiled warmly. "After nearly ten years, you should know you can unload on me at anytime, Trip." "Thanks," replied Trip. He shook his head. "Nearly ten years. I'm surprised you've kept me around that long." "Why would you say that?" Jon asked with a tip of his head. Trip shrugged then sniffed, his eyes still downcast. "Come on, Cap'n. We both know I've caused you a lot of problems and embarrassing moments over those years." Jon wanted to reach out and gently wipe away the one remaining tear that rolled slowly down Trip's cheek then lift that face so he could look into those beautiful eyes. He wanted to tell Trip how much he loved him, wanted him, and needed him with him always. But he didn't. "Look at me," Jon coaxed. Slowly Trip lifted his eyes to Jon's. "We're friends, Trip. You're the closest friend I've ever known and you have never embarrassed me," the captain said with earnest. Then he smiled. "You've caused me all sorts of problems but you've never embarrassed me." Trip snorted. "Thanks, Cap'n," he replied in a soft voice. "I mean it, you know? I don't know how I would have survived without you." The engineer looked away again and Jon felt his heart skip a beat. Trip wiped away the tear, which was quickly followed by another one. Love and affection for the young man engulfed Jon and he patted Trip's arm gently. "You'll get through this, Trip. I promise. Lord knows it'll be hard but you'll make it," he soothed, forcing his voice to remain steady. "I'll feel better when we find them," Trip replied, his voice suddenly cold. "Is that really what you want? Revenge?" Jon asked. He pulled his hand away. Trip closed his eyes and inhaled deeply then he looked at Jon, tears brimming. "I don't know," he responded weakly. "I hate feeling this way, Cap'n, so cold inside. But I want them to pay for what they did, not only for Lizzie, but for the others who died, too." "I want that, too, Trip. But we have to be careful that we don't go into the Expanse blind, hunting and killing any Xindi we find just to satisfy our vengeance. We have to be better than that. Do you understand?" "Yeah," Trip replied with a nod. He remained quiet for a long moment, studying his cold plate of food then he looked at Jon again. "Would you promise me something, Cap'n?" Anything in the world, Jon thought but he simply nodded. "Stop me if I go too far?" Jon warmed inside. "I promise, Trip," he replied with a gentle smile. "Would you make me a promise, too?" Trip looked at him with a puzzled expression but he nodded. "Don't push yourself so hard? I need my Chief Engineer and so does Enterprise." Trip smiled. "Yes, Cap'n," he replied obediently. As he watched Trip start poking at his food again, Jon remembered the sound of Trip whispering "Jon" in the heat of passion, the exquisite feeling of being deep inside his friend, the look of Trip's light blue eyes staring back at him. He knew in his heart that making love to the engineer would surpass anything he could ever dream. Jon had never had an interest in men before Trip and he briefly wondered if maybe that could possibly be the case with his friend. He picked up his fork then cleared his throat. "Trip? Can I ask you something?" he asked as his heart began pounding uncontrollably. Trip looked at him with those beautiful eyes and Jon swallowed hard. He could feel his hands getting sweaty. Oh come on Jon, he chided himself. "Cap'n?" Jon simply stared back, his breath momentarily gone. He had always thought Trip was attractive for a man but now it was like he was looking at him for the first time. Trip was simply beautiful. "Cap'n? Hey you all right?" asked the engineer with concern. He placed a hand on Jon's shoulder. Damn it Jon, the captain scolded himself. Get it together! You're his captain and his friend! He finally nodded. "I'm fine, Trip." Trip took his hand away. "So what'd you want to ask me?" Jon pursed his lips then shook his head. "Nothing that can't wait until later," he replied. They finished their cold breakfast in companionable silence. --- "I chickened out, Porthos." Jon sat on his bed tossing his water polo ball against the opposite wall. His little Beagle was curled up next to him paying attention to every word Jon spoke. "Plain and simple, boy. I chickened out." The captain laid the ball aside then gently scratched Porthos' head. He'd had a pretty uneventful day. He'd made his way around the ship, stopping to talk to all of his crew then he'd read through some more data on the area of space toward which they were headed. He'd had lunch and dinner both with Trip but the younger man had seemed distracted again. At least, Jon now reminded himself, his engineer had eaten something. He wondered briefly if Trip would get any sleep. Jon looked down at his companion. "I hope he's okay," he whispered. He stood up then pulled back the covers, Porthos taking the hint. The little dog hopped down and curled up in his own bed. Jon's door chime sounded just as he was slipping beneath the sheets. "Come in," he called as he sat up. His heart skipped a beat as the door slid open to reveal Trip. "Sorry to bother you, Cap'n," the commander said sheepishly. "But I couldn't sleep." Jon waved his hand, motioning for Trip to come in and sit down. "Don't worry about it." Trip was dressed in a white T-shirt and sweat pants that appeared to be more than one size too big. Jon realized suddenly that they were his. He'd loaned them to Trip a few years ago and the fact that Trip still had them and still wore them made him smile. The engineer sat on the side of the bed next to Jon. He looked down at his hands as he clasped and unclasped them in his lap. "What is it, Trip, Lizzie?" Jon prompted. Trip nodded. "Lets go see Phlox. Maybe he can give you something again." Jon moved to get up but stopped when Trip looked at him. "What is it?" he asked again. Trip looked away quickly then he stood and stepped toward the door. "I'm sorry to bother you, sir." "Trip." The younger man stopped. "I---I just don't want to go to sleep alone, Cap'n," he said without turning around. "I know it's childish and stupid but---." "Come over here," Jon said. He moved over and threw back his covers. Trip turned then hesitated. He met Jon's eyes and the captain felt his heart again skip a beat. The young man then dropped his gaze and his face flushed, reminding Jon of an awkward and innocent child. Jon couldn't imagine loving the man any more than he did at that moment. "It's okay, Trip." Trip slowly slid into bed next to Jon then the captain pulled the covers up over both of them. He then reached up and shut off the light. The room was bathed in starlight. After several minutes, Trip rolled onto his side facing away from Jon. The captain could hear the younger man's breath catch and he knew Trip was trying to hide his tears. He gently reached over and pulled at the other man, coaxing him to turn towards him. Finally Trip obliged and Jon's heart broke at the sight of his face. Without thinking, the captain reached a gentle hand out and wiped away the tears. Then time stood still. They looked at each other for a long moment before Jon moved in closer. His heart thudded painfully as he gently pressed his lips against the other man's. Trip didn't move. "I'm sorry," Jon whispered as he pulled back. "I'm so sorry, Trip. I didn't mean to---." His words were cut off as Trip placed his mouth over Jon's. Jon closed his eyes and savored the feelings rushing through him. He moved his arms and pulled Trip on top of him. The kiss deepened, both men desperately discovering the flavor of the other. Jon moved his hands up and down Trip's back, reveling in the feel of the body pressed against him. He slid his hands under the T-shirt, the skin he touched warm and soft. Trip made soft sounds of pleasure and Jon's body reacted quickly. He gently ended the kiss and gazed up at Trip with a smile. He cupped the younger man's face in his hands, his thumbs softly stroking Trip's cheeks. Then his smile faded suddenly. "Do you want me, Trip, or do you just need me?" he asked quietly. Trip smiled then shifted slightly so he could brush back Jon's hair. "I want you. I have for a long time now," he whispered. He leaned down and took Jon's mouth again. They broke apart then Trip rolled off of Jon. They both sat staring at each other their breathing out of control. "I've never been with a man before," Trip said finally, almost shyly. "Have you?" Jon shook his head. "We'll figure it out." He reached out and pulled Trip's T-shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor. He rubbed his hands across the now exposed chest, memorizing the feel of the soft downy hair and the hard muscle underneath. He leaned over and gently licked a nipple then grinned when he felt Trip's body quake. He gently turned Trip and laid him down on his back. He could feel his friend's body trembling. He whispered soothing words as he bestowed soft kisses down Trip's chest, stopping to lick both nipples as he moved. Then he moved back up and met Trip's mouth in a tender kiss. When he had Trip completely naked, Jon stood up from the bed. He gazed down adoringly at the man staring back at him. Trip was indeed beautiful and Jon ached for him. He quickly removed his clothes then settled his body carefully on top of Trip's. He kissed the younger man lovingly as he swept his hands over Trip's hard body. He shivered when his lover's hands gently caressed his backside. Jon was in heaven. He wondered briefly if he was dreaming but the pressure of Trip's finger running up his cleft told him he wasn't. He deepened his kiss, trying to show his lover his very soul. After some awkward but highly rewarding exploration of each other's bodies, Jon settled himself between Trip's legs. Gently and slowly he eased himself in to his lover's body, his own body throbbing for release. Jon could feel his dream coming true. Trip was amazing. When he'd eased himself completely in, Jon began moving ever so slowly, reaching as deeply as he could. He closed his eyes and reveled in the sensations, memorizing each thrust. He could hear Trip's soft moans as the younger man met Jon's every move. The climax was coming quickly and Jon knew he wasn't going to make it last as long as he'd hoped. As he neared the precipice, he opened his eyes. Trip was staring back at him, the starlight making his eyes almost transparent. Then those eyes squeezed shut and his brow furrowed in pleasure. "Jon," he whispered deeply. Jon's world shifted as his orgasm took him. He could feel Trip spasm around him as he too toppled over the edge. Over and over again, Jon erupted inside his lover. He lost himself in the feelings, the intense bliss, his fantasy finally realized. Then he lowered himself onto the trembling body of the man he loved more than he ever thought possible. After a moment, Jon pulled out of Trip's body. He lifted himself and looked down at the younger man lying beneath him. His lover's eyes were closed. Jon brought up his hand and ran his fingers over Trip's damp forehead. My lover, he thought. Then he smiled as Trip's eyes opened to look up at him. "Hi Jon." The captain of the starship Enterprise fell apart. He tenderly stroked his lover's face as the tears spilled from his eyes. Trip looked slightly puzzled at his reaction but he pulled Jon to his body and held him tight. Jon let the tears fall as Trip whispered endearing words in his ear. The emotions welling up inside were ones Jon had never experienced before. He lifted himself again and laid a hand on Trip's cheek. "I love you, Trip. Do you know that?" Trip smiled then pulled Jon down into a deep, loving kiss. "I love you, too," he replied. --- Jon awoke feeling warm and secure. He carefully squeezed the man he held in his arms. Trip was still asleep, his head resting on Jon's shoulder. The captain turned his head slightly to look at his lover in profile. He lovingly brushed the hair back from Trip's forehead then pulled the younger man closer. Trip laid his cheek on Jon's chest and whimpered slightly at the subtle movement but then he snuggled back down, letting go a contented sigh. Jon smiled. He knew he could get use to watching his lover sleep. In fact, that's all he wanted to do for the rest of his life. Well, he reminded himself, that and make mad, passionate love to him. He turned his head and leaned his cheek against Trip's soft hair. The engineer hadn't awakened from nightmares that night but he'd cried out in his sleep. Jon hoped that having him there helped the younger man. He'd simply tightened his arms around Trip's body and spoke gently to him until his breathing evened out again. Now as he lay holding Trip in his arms, Jon let his mind wander back to his father's death. Trip had never met his father yet he defended his engine with tooth and nail. Jon smiled. He wished Henry Archer could've met Trip Tucker. He would have liked him immensely. "Jon? You awake?" The captain kissed Trip's hair. "Yep." Trip lifted his head and grinned. He ran a hand over Jon's bare chest. "Morning," he greeted. "Morning," Jon replied, noting the devilish glint in his lover's eye. Trip continued grinning as he threw back the sheet exposing both their naked bodies. Then he locked his lips around a nipple and gently suckled. Jon shivered with delight. He watched the other man kiss and lick his way to his other nipple where he again, latched on. Jon's body was beginning to burn with his need. Trip lifted his mouth and looked south. "That's what I like to see," he said with a smile. He shifted so he could quickly kiss Jon's lips. "Now you just stay still," he ordered. Jon bit his lip as he felt Trip's tongue on him, licking the tip of his penis. He closed his eyes and let himself go. "Oh," he moaned breathlessly. His body quaked then he thrust his hips. He opened his eyes and looked down when the sensations stopped. Trip moved to straddle Jon's legs then smiled at him again. Oh, he was so beautiful, thought Jon. Then all thought processes stopped as Trip took him in his mouth. "Oh, Oh, God, Trip," Jon hissed. "Please!" He writhed as the pleasure engulfed him. He gripped the sheets fiercely in his fists then let out a loud groan. He came quickly, the stimulation of Trip's tongue and warm mouth far too much. He arched off the bed, crying out his sheer delight. Then he was aware of a warm body lying over his and gentle hands stroking his face. Jon opened his eyes to look upon the face of his lover. Trip leaned down and kissed him lovingly and Jon pulled him into his arms. Trip settled on his chest. "For someone who's never done that before, you did a pretty good job," Jon said. He kissed the top of Trip's head. "That was absolutely amazing." "Glad you liked it," Trip replied, his voice muffled against Jon's skin. He quieted and Jon sensed a change. "Trip? You okay?" Jon asked. He felt a sudden fear grip him. "Should we continue this?" Trip asked. He lifted his head and rested his chin on Jon's chest, looking at him intently. "What do you mean?" "If Starfleet ever finds out we're together, you know we'll be in trouble." Jon watched as Trip absently tangled his fingers in his chest hair. Trip was right. If they were discovered, there would definitely be repercussions, perhaps serious ones. Jon's dream had been realized but now so maybe had his fears. He knew where he stood but he didn't know Trip's feelings. "What do you want to do?" he asked trying to keep his voice neutral. "I know what I don't want to do and that's be the cause of you losing Enterprise," Trip replied softly. He laid his head back down and put his arms around Jon. "This is your daddy's dream and yours, too. You love this ship." Jon gently caressed Trip's back with his fingertips. "But I love you more," he whispered. Trip lifted his head again and stared at Jon with wide eyes. "You do?" he asked. Jon held Trip's face between his hands and kissed him with everything he had, savoring the taste of his new lover. Kissing was definitely something Trip was highly skilled at, Jon thought as he felt the engineer's tongue slide slowly and deeply around his mouth. When they parted, they were both gasping. "Yes, I do," Jon managed. "Then you want to, well, keep being, um, lovers?" Jon smiled, amused at how Trip could be so intensely erotic one minute and so absolutely innocent the next. He pulled Trip to him in a crushing embrace. Yes, this was indeed his dream come true. He couldn't quite believe Trip was his but the soft skin under his hands was real, and the firm body pressed against his body was real as well. "I'll take that as a yes then," Trip huffed against Jon's chest. He grunted from the force of the hug. "I can break, you know, Jon." Jon released him with an apologetic kiss to the top of his head. "We still have three hours before our shifts. To be safe, you should probably get back to your quarters." Trip pinched Jon's nipple between his teeth. "I think we're safe for another hour, don't you?" "Well then I think I'll jump in the shower," Jon said. He moved out from underneath Trip then climbed out of bed. Before he entered the bathroom, he turned around to see Trip lying fully exposed staring at the ceiling. He took a moment to admire the view then cleared his throat. "I think you could use a shower as well, Commander." Trip was out of bed in a heartbeat. --- The steam encircled their bodies as Jon turned Trip to face the shower wall. The younger man leaned against it then spread his legs. Jon watched the water drip down over Trip's back, mesmerized as it changed course over shifting muscle. He reached out and ran his hands down the strong back then he brought them around to caress Trip's chest. He played with his lover's nipples then brought his hands down to run his fingers through Trip's curly pubic hair. Trip moaned softly in response. Jon then brought his hands around to cup and caress Trip's backside. He then slowly drew his hands up the firm slopes before settling them on the slender waist. He leaned forward. "Are you sure you're not too sore?" he asked softly. The last thing he ever wanted to do was cause this man any pain. "I'll be okay," Trip replied but Jon wasn't convinced. He gently kissed Trip's shoulder then turned him around. He silenced Trip's protest by taking his mouth with his. The water made them slip against each other as they clung together. Jon pulled away then smiled. "Now it's my turn," he said with a wink. He gave one more kiss then proceeded to nuzzle the engineer's neck. His dream had always been about his own fulfillment and pleasure but now that he had Trip in his arms, he wanted to bring the young man to his knees. As he licked Trip's neck, he reveled in the taste of Trip. With each kiss and swipe of his tongue, he delighted in the feel of Trip's skin. He stopped momentarily and inhaled the very essence of the man. "Please, Jon. Don't stop," Trip pleaded. Jon knelt on the shower floor then ran his hands up Trip's muscular torso. He watched his lover's face through the streaming water and again was astonished that this man was really his. Slowly he brought his hands down and ran his fingers again through Trip's pubic hair, enjoying its texture. Trip's penis twitched. Jon tentatively ran his thumb over the tip, which made Trip thrust gently then he gave the tip a soft kiss. Jon placed his hands on the other man's hipbones, feeling the body he held trembling then he leaned in and ran his tongue from the base back to the tip. Trip moaned deeply. Jon looked up again. Trip's head was against the wall, his eyes closed. His lips were slightly parted and he was licking his lower lip. He had his arms out to brace himself. Jon had never seen a more breathtaking sight. Since Jon had never touched another man let alone held his penis in his mouth, he didn't know what to expect. When his lips closed around Trip, he closed his eyes. The skin was like silk and the taste was indescribable. He heard Trip's throaty moan and felt his own penis come alive. Jon shifted his weight slightly so he was leaning more against the other man. He held him still as he sucked gently. "Oh, Jon!" Trip breathed. His other words were unintelligible and Jon felt himself growing harder with the knowledge that he had the power to do that to Trip. He continued his ministrations occasionally stopping the suction to use his tongue. Jon found himself lost in the feel, and the taste, and the scent of his lover. This was way beyond any dream. "I can't wait, Jon," Trip managed. He placed a steadying hand on the captain's head then he erupted in Jon's mouth with a muffled cry. Jon nearly came just from the experience of swallowing Trip. He was surprised at how much he liked it as the warm fluid continued to pulse into his mouth. Trip slid down the shower wall when Jon released him. He sat with his knees up, his legs apart. Jon leaned forward and settled himself between Trip's legs, bracing himself with his arms. He watched as those light blue eyes slowly opened and focused. He kissed Trip deeply as the water cascaded down over them. "I love you," Jon whispered against Trip's mouth then he kissed him again. He felt Trip's arms encircle him then they both rolled to the floor clinging fiercely to each other. --- After the two men managed to finish their shower, Trip left Jon's quarters but only after giving Jon a remembrance with a kiss so passionate, Jon swore he felt it from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Now the captain sat with the other senior staff on the bridge. His eyes wandered from one face to the other. Trip was no doubt buried somewhere in engineering. The very thought of his new lover brought with it a physical reaction and Jon quickly tried to focus on something else. He had no luck. "I'll be in engineering. You have the bridge, Sub-commander," he finally relented. When he entered engineering, his eyes sought out but couldn't find their goal. "You looking for Commander Tucker, sir?" asked a passing crewman. Jon nodded. "Have you seen him?" The crewman turned and pointed her finger. "He's back there, behind the warp core." Jon thanked her then headed to the back of the cavernous room. He ran his hand along the core as he walked, knowing how much Trip loved his engines. When he reached the end, he stopped and smiled. The only part of Trip he could see was his glorious backside. The young man was buried waist deep under a console. Jon looked around to make sure they were alone then he carefully approached the engineer. Reaching out, he gave Trip a squeeze. "What the---?" Trip yelped followed by a sharp thud. "Ouch! Damn it!" Jon watched in amusement as Trip pulled himself out of the tight compartment. Trip's expression went quickly from anger to a heart-warming grin. "Hey, Cap'n!" he said. "What're you doing down here?" Jon leaned down close. "Had to see my Chief Engineer. Make sure he's doing his job." Trip stood up wiping his hands on a rag he'd pulled from his pocket. "Engines are purring like kittens, sir." Then he leaned into Jon. "Like someone I know will be tonight," he added mischievously. Jon smiled. "Meet me for dinner?" "Of course." Trip turned back to drop his rag in his tool case. Jon looked around them again. They were still alone. He grabbed Trip's shoulders and in one swift motion turned him and backed him against the warp core. Then he took his lover's mouth prisoner with his own. He could feel Trip's initial surprise but then he all but collapsed into Jon's arms. Jon absolutely loved kissing Trip. It wasn't just that their lips melded perfectly or that their tongues worked a magical dance. No, it was the soft, sweet sounds Trip made. They were music to Jon's ears. He could feel his reaction to those gentle whimpers so he backed away before his arousal became too evident. He kept his face close to Trip's, his lips only millimeters away. "Purr like kittens, huh?" he said then he gave his breathless young lover one more quick kiss then turned and strolled away. --- Jon looked at the time. The hours since his shift had ended had crawled by, but now he knew Trip was on his way. Jon stood and took off his clothes then lay down on top of his covers. He looked up just as his door slid open to see Trip slip inside. The younger man just stood for a moment staring at Jon and the captain felt himself stir under the adoring gaze. Without a word, Trip began undressing. Jon watched as each movement uncovered another part of Trip's amazing body. He was definitely getting hard now. When Trip finished stripping, he gently lowered himself on top of Jon. Jon reached up to pull Trip into a kiss but Trip stopped him. "Tonight its about you, Jon," he whispered huskily. Jon laid back. Trip leaned down and kissed him tenderly. Jon shivered in response. Trip then caressed, kissed, sucked, and licked his way down his captain's body. Jon found his breath gone. His young lover treated each patch of skin he touched like it was a special treasure. In that moment, Jon realized he had never really had anyone make love to him. He'd had quite a few women in his life but none had ever touched him and loved him like Trip. His heart swelled for this young man who made him ache with need. Finally when Jon thought he was about to burst, Trip pushed his legs up and apart. Jon gasped as he felt the first penetration. He was so relaxed, ready, and needy that there was only a brief stab of pain. Then he closed his eyes and felt Trip slide into him. When Trip was deeply inside, Jon felt him shift forward and pause. He opened his eyes to see the heartbreaking face over his. Any doubt he had over how much Trip loved him was washed away in that moment. Trip's feelings were written all over his face. Jon reached up and stroked his lover's cheek as he felt a few tears leak from his own eyes. Trip smiled and kissed Jon's palm then he began a slow, gentle movement. They held each other's eyes as Trip continued to move. Then as he increased his pace, Jon dropped his hand and gripped the sheets. He closed his eyes and threw his head back as he met Trip's every thrust. Damn, Jon thought, was there anything this man couldn't do to perfection? After his life-altering climax, Jon slowly returned to his mind and body, vaguely aware of Trip easing himself out of him then sliding between Jon's legs and up his body to lie on top of him. The captain knew his stomach and chest was slick with his cum but Trip didn't seem to mind. The young man rested his head over Jon's thudding heart and sighed deeply. Jon managed to bring his arms up to encircle his lover and give him a gentle squeeze. He wrapped his legs around so that he had Trip cocooned against him. They lay like that for a long time. --- Jon awoke to someone crying out. He was lying on his side, facing Trip. The younger man was also on his side but his body was trembling. Jon watched as Trip's brow furrowed then he cried out softly. Jon reached his hand out and stroked Trip's cheek. Shhhh, Trip. Shhhh," he soothed. Trip's eyes shot open and he sat up abruptly. "Lizzie!" Jon sat up instantly, rubbing Trip's back. "Lizzie's gone, Trip," he whispered. "No! No! I have to help her!" "Trip, she's gone, baby." The engineer finally seemed to notice where he was. He turned to Jon who pulled him down into a hug. Trip nestled close against him. "When will they stop, Jon?" he asked, his voice almost childlike. Jon lovingly stroked Trip's hair, his lover's head held securely under his chin. He could feel Trip's warm breath against his neck as he tried to calm himself. Trip pulled Jon closer until they seemed like one. "Shhhh, I don't know baby," he soothed. Finally Jon felt Trip's trembling ease and his breathing slow. "You okay now?" He felt Trip's head move in a nod. After several minutes of holding each other, Trip shifted slightly. "Did you call me baby?" he asked. "Yeah, I guess I did," Jon replied still stroking the blond head. Trip chuckled softly. "Who'd have ever thought, huh?" He caressed Jon's chest gently. "When did you know you loved me?" he asked after a long pause. "The moment I laid eyes on you." Trip squeezed him. "How about you? When did you know you loved me?" Jon asked. "It was our little visit to Zobral's desert planet of pleasure." "As sick as you were from heatstroke? I'm surprised you remember anything." "It's all pretty fuzzy but I remember you taking care of me." Trip propped his head up on Jon's chest. He ran a finger softly down Jon's cheek. "The exact moment, though, was when I woke up in sickbay to find you sleeping next to me in a chair." Trip's eyes dropped. "I was really scared at first, you know?" "So was I," Jon replied. Trip looked back at him. "You were?" Jon nodded. Oh how he loved this man, he thought as he gently ruffled Trip's hair. "You're a man, if you hadn't noticed," he teased. Trip grinned. Then he laid his head back down and gave Jon a breathtaking squeeze. "I always pictured myself settling down with a beautiful woman," he said then he paused, toying with Jon's chest hair. "Not an old coot like you." "Old coot!" Jon cried. He grabbed Trip and rolled him so that the engineer was trapped beneath him. "Maybe I'll show you just what this old coot can do," he whispered then he proceeded to kiss his laughing young lover silly. --- Three nights later, Jon waited patiently in his quarters for Trip's arrival. As usual, he'd already stripped off his clothes and lay stretched out on top of his sheets. Porthos snored softly from his own little bed. Jon had told Phlox that day about his relationship with Enterprise's Chief Engineer. He guessed he really owed the Denobulan big for opening his eyes. Dr. Phlox of course was filled with suggestions and techniques for the new couple to try. Jon smiled. Their lovemaking had only gotten better and more playful as they discovered each other and the power of their love for one another. He closed his eyes and felt the now familiar warmth flow through him at the mere thought of his lover. He had no idea he had such a great capacity to love another person. He was still somewhat shocked that the love of his life was a man but he knew without a doubt that Trip was his soul mate. He couldn't even fathom losing him and he shivered at the very thought. The door slid open and Trip appeared. Jon sat up knowing instantly something was wrong. Trip walked over to the bed and collapsed into his arms. "Hey, what's wrong?" asked Jon gently. He stroked his hand through Trip's hair. Trip didn't respond, he just held Jon close. Jon pushed Trip back and looked at him. He kissed him tenderly then helped him to undress. Finally they both slid in to bed together. Trip curled up against Jon's side, securely nestled in the captain's arms. Jon pressed his lips against the head that lay quietly on his shoulder and held the kiss for a long moment. "What happened?" he finally asked, his lips still against Trip's head. "Just a bad day is all," Trip replied. He shifted closer, draping his arm over Jon's stomach and pulling him close. Jon knew not to push. Trip's demons were still clearly haunting him. He settled further under the covers, bringing his lover with him. He stroked Trip's arm gently as he felt the younger man relax. He carefully reached up and turned the light off then snuggled against the warmth of his lover. He continued to stroke Trip's arm as he nuzzled the blonde hair. Then Trip lifted his head and kissed him. "We don't have to, Trip," Jon said softly as he stroked his lover's cheek. "I need you, Jon," Trip whispered. "I need you to, I need---." His voice faltered and he looked down. Jon smiled warmly then pulled Trip to him and rolled over so he was lying on top of his young lover, their bodies melding perfectly together. He held Trip's face gently between his hands and looked into his eyes. "Shhhhh," he soothed kissing each eyelid softly. He looked at Trip once more then settled his mouth over his. Jon made love to Trip slowly and gently, making certain Trip knew how much he was loved and needed. Jon had never experienced anything so emotionally important before. He had to show his lover he was secure and safe within his arms and that he was the single most important person in Jon's life. He hoped each kiss and caress, each soft touch revealed that to Trip. Afterwards, as he cuddled the younger man, Jon gently sighed. He pulled his sleeping lover closer against him then buried his face in his hair. He felt a sudden tightness in his stomach as he thought of where they were headed. The thought he could lose Trip on this mission made him deathly afraid. He gently kissed Trip's head and listened as the young man sighed in his sleep. Jon pushed away his thoughts and closed his eyes. Tomorrow he would worry about the Expanse. Tonight he was content just to hold the man he loved and listen to him breathe. --- The End