The BLTS Archive - Realization series
#3: Reality
by plumtuckered (plumtuckered@earthlink.net)

---

ARCHIVE:  EntSTCommunity and anyone else just let me know

DISCLAIMER:  I don't own these characters or the starship Enterprise

COMMENTS:  The bug bit me again and quickly!  This is a continuation
from where "Realized" left off.  Again, I love sappy romance topped
with a little angst so please bear with me!

---

"Ouch!"

Jonathan Archer cringed at the sound of his lover hitting the floor.
He leaned over the edge of his bed.

"I told you I wasn't that flexible, Jon!" groaned Charles Tucker III
who sat on the floor in all his naked glory.  Enterprise's Chief
Engineer stood up and rubbed his sore backside.

Jon couldn't help but laugh.  "I'm so sorry, Trip!" he said as he
pulled the younger man back into bed with him.  Trip lay on his side
facing the captain.  Jon reached over him and gently rubbed his
bruised ego.  "I thought it might be something fun to try," he
explained apologetically.

Trip scowled at him.  "Where did you come up with that?" he asked.
"Oh, no.  Don't tell me, Dr. Phlox."

Jon nodded and smiled meekly.  "Like I said, I thought it'd be fun."

"Two weeks and you're bored with our sex life already," sighed Trip in
mock disgust.

The captain pulled his lover close.  "Bored?" he asked as he nuzzled
Trip's neck.  "I would never use 'bored' and 'our sex life' in the
same sentence."  He slid Trip up on to his chest then took his mouth
in a long, sensuous kiss, both hands settling on his engineer's firm
behind.  He squeezed gently and was rewarded with Trip's throaty moan
of approval.

Jon smiled against his lover's mouth.  "All better now?" he asked.
His only response was a frustrated huff and impatient lips seizing his
again.

Their mouths worked together in unison, Jon enjoying his lover's
wonderful flavor.  As always, Trip made his sweet, soft sounds,
conveying his pleasure and Jon felt himself stirring in response to
those sounds.  His lover apparently had, too.  The captain felt a hand
gently take his arousal and squeeze.  Jon's eyes popped open then he
closed them slowly, losing himself in their kiss and letting Trip have
his way.  He always did.  His talented young lover had discovered ways
of taking Jon to heights he had never even imagined.  Over the two
weeks they'd been together intimately, there were times Jon actually
thought he'd died and gone to heaven.  Now as Trip released his lips
and gazed down at him, Jon thought maybe he really had.

Then Trip grinned devilishly.  He moved down Jon's body then sat
straddling his captain's legs.  He leaned forward and took Jon into
his mouth slowly, teasing and playing with his skilled tongue.  Gone
were the nights of awkwardness, Jon thought as he settled back and
moaned in delight.  Trip closed his lips over Jon and sucked with just
the right pressure.  The captain started burning from the inside out.
As Trip continued his ministrations, Jon writhed.

"Oh, Trip!  Oh, baby!" he gasped.  He felt himself teetering on the
edge then Trip released him.  Jon eased back then he felt the sweet
pressure and the fire ignited again.  He threw back his head his eyes
squeezed shut.  He could feel it coming---then Trip released him
again.

"Hey," he groaned breathlessly.  He glanced down at Trip.  His lover
locked eyes with him then lowered his mouth on Jon again, sucking
gently.  Then he again released him.  "Why you little sh-----oh!"

Jon went from nearly dropping off the edge again back down to an
agonizing throb.

"Damn it, Trip!" he huffed, his voice thick with his need.  "I'm your
captain for----oh there!"

Jon's fire ignited again and this time Trip allowed him his release.
The captain felt the swell then his body finally erupted.  He pulsed
hard and long into his lover's mouth.  When he had nothing more to
give, Jon eased himself back down on the bed, gasping for air.  Have
to admit, he thought, that was well worth the ride.

The captain opened his eyes as Trip slid up next to him.  "You're
gonna pay for that, you know," he said.

Trip grinned from ear to ear.  "Promise?" he asked then he gave Jon a
quick kiss.

Trip lay back down and Jon curled up against his side, draping his arm
across Trip's stomach.  The captain laid his head on his lover's
shoulder and sighed in utter contentment.  He moved his arm and ran
his hand over Trip's hard chest and abdomen.  He could feel his
engineer's fingers brushing through his hair.

After several minutes of silence, Jon gave Trip a gentle squeeze.
"You're not already asleep, are you?"

"No, just thinking," Trip replied.

Jon lifted his head and settled his chin on Trip's shoulder.
"Something wrong?" he asked.

Trip shook his head then he looked at Jon.  "I know we're heading into
a dangerous area of space and all, but are you happy?  With us, I
mean?"

Jon squeezed him again.  "Happier than I've ever been in my life,
Trip.  Why?"

Trip looked away then watched his own hand as he swept it back and
forth over Jon's arm.

Jon nudged him.  "Trip?"

"I don't know, Jon.  I'm not any good at relationships.  Sometimes I
just get kinda scared I'm gonna lose you."

"Trip, we've been in a relationship for nearly ten years."

"As friends, Jon.  This is different."

"Why?  We've always been the best of friends, shared everything
together and now we're lovers.  We're only going to get better."

Trip didn't look too convinced.

"Look at me," Jon urged.  Trip lifted his eyes to Jon's.  "Hey, you're
really scared, aren't you?"

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Jon.  I love you
more than, well, more than I can even say.  I just don't---."

Jon quieted him with a finger over his lips.  "I've loved you for
almost a decade, Trip.  I've seen you at your best and at your worst.
I'm not going anywhere," he said.  He moved his finger away then
gently stroked Trip's chest again.  "You're the best friend I've ever
known and by far the best lover."

Trip's eyes brightened, his ego appropriately stroked.  "Really?"

"Oh yeah.  Believe me, baby."

Trip pulled him close and rubbed Jon's back.  "I love you," he said
and kissed Jon's head.  "And I kinda like it when you call me baby."

Jon laid his head on Trip's shoulder again.  "I like calling you
that."  Then he lifted his head once again and pulled Trip into a
hard, long kiss.  "Now let's get some sleep."

The engineer settled down deeper into the bed bringing Jon with him.
The captain snuggled against his lover then gently kissed his chest.

"Uh, Jon?  One more thing?"

Jon grunted a response.

"From now on, only get medical advice from Dr. Phlox okay?"

---

Jon opened his eyes.  He lifted his head and glanced at the time.  He
smiled.  Just like clockwork, he thought.  He propped himself up on
his elbow and did what had become a treasured habit for him.  He
watched Trip sleep.  Since his first night with his young lover, Jon
had awakened just to take a few quiet moments to adore Trip with his
eyes.  He felt somewhat silly at first.  He chided himself for being
such a big romantic lush but the truth was he loved it.  And he loved
Trip.

Now he looked down at the young man next to him.  Trip was sleeping on
his back, his lips barely parted.  Jon was surprised to find out that
when his engineer wasn't plagued by nightmares, he was a very quiet
sleeper. Quite the opposite of the man Jon knew in the so-called
daylight hours.  Maybe that's why, he thought.  Trip simply exhausted
himself with his constant motion.

Jon was also very surprised to discover Trip was a quiet lover as
well.  No shouting to the gods.  No, Trip just moaned long and deep or
cried out softly as his body shuddered through his climax.  To Jon's
delight, though, he always whispered the captain's name in his
pleasure.

The captain reached out and gently brushed back a short wisp of hair
off Trip's forehead.  Over their two weeks as lovers they had truly
discovered each other in new ways.  They still settled into their
easy-going friendship when they were on duty and still spent evenings
chatting about their individual days, but when Trip slid into bed
beside Jon in the dark of night, they were in uncharted territory. 
Jon's natural tendency with Trip was to take control.  He was older
and he was the captain.  In bed they'd become equals.  They had been
tentative at first, exploring and learning each other's bodies then
their natural comfort with and trust in each other took over.

There were nights when they made love slowly and deeply, when they
simply needed each other.  Trip especially seemed to need Jon's
reassuring touch.  He was still on an emotional roller coaster with
his feelings of loss for his sister.  Then there were other nights
when there was urgency to their movements, almost desperation.  When
they needed each other so much it hurt.

Trip shifted slightly and murmured.  Jon placed his hand on his
lover's stomach and rubbed gentle circles in the light dusting of
hair.  Sprinkled in amongst the nights of tenderness and the nights of
frantic lovemaking were nights of experimentation.  Jon smiled now.
Trip was willing to try anything if it gave Jon pleasure.  And the
captain felt the same.  Those nights always ended with laughter.  The
days were always shadowed by the events on Earth so Jon cherished the
moments when they could laugh together.

Then there were the showers.  Jon felt a stirring in his groin at the
mere thought.  There was just something about Trip and cascading water
that aroused him beyond words.  He thought it was a wonder they even
managed to wash each other.  He loved sliding his hands over Trip's
wet skin as the steam rolled around them.  And the look on his lover's
face when he came took Jon's breath away.  The showers, Jon realized,
were for him more than they were for Trip.  He received as much
pleasure from them if not more than his engineer even though it was
Jon always in control.  He took a deep breath then expelled it, still
caressing Trip's stomach.  His eyes were beginning to feel heavy.  Jon
laid his head on Trip's warm chest just over his lover's heart.  The
steady rhythm lulled him.  He felt Trip pull him close in his sleep
then Jon closed his eyes and let himself slip into dreams.

---

The captain leaned forward in his chair staring at the brownish planet
on the front view screen.  To Jon, the very look of the small planet
gave him the creeps.  He smiled inwardly, realizing he'd picked that
little saying up from Trip.  He'd left his young lover only minutes
before after they'd finished their breakfast, sending his engineer off
to work with a brief but thorough kiss.

"Our scans show the remains of a ship, Captain.  The readings are very
similar to those taken on Earth of the Xindi probe," reported
Sub-commander T'Pol.  The Vulcan swung around in her chair and
examined her monitor.

Jon glanced at his science officer.  "Any lifesigns?"

She shook her head.  "None that can be detected."

Jon turned in his chair and looked at Lieutenant Malcolm Reed.  He
nodded his concurrence.

"We're still three weeks from the Delphic Expanse.  Lets say we make a
short little stop over.  Maybe that ship will hold some valuable
information we can use."  Jon fingered his comm.  "Archer to Tucker."

"Tucker here, Cap'n."

"Trip, prep a shuttle pod.  You and T'Pol have a shipwreck to
explore."

---

Jon always held his breath when Trip left the ship.  Even when they
were 'merely friends', he still sweated bullets when the young man
headed out into the unknown without him.  Now the same fear settled in
Jon's stomach as he sat listening to his two most senior officers over
the open comm.-line.

"T'Pol, look at this."

"It appears this body has been here for a number of years."

"I didn't need a scan to tell me that, T'Pol."

Jon pictured the look on his Vulcan science officer's face in response
to Trip's good-natured retort.

"Does it match the remains of the Xindi pilot at Starfleet?" the
engineer continued.

"No.  I'm unable to identify the species."

 "Huh, well I'm gonna check out the back chamber, take a look at this
fella's engines."

"Be careful, Commander."

The silence hung over the bridge for several minutes.

"Damn it."

"Commander, are you alright?"

Jon swallowed hard and sat forward.

"Uh, yeah---I think so," Trip muttered in response.  "Kinda tight
quarters back here."

More silence interrupted only by the sound of a cough.

"T'Pol to Captain Archer."

"Go ahead," Jon replied.

"The commander and I have finished taking our readings, Captain.
We're returning to the shuttle pod.  We should be back on Enterprise
in approximately 15.25 minutes."

"We'll be waiting for you."

---

"So basically what you're saying is our little detour was a waste of
time."

T'Pol nodded.  "The body the commander and I found was not related to
the Xindi from the probe."

Jon put his hands behind his back and paced back and forth at the head
of the situation room table.  He'd been hoping for something, anything
that would help them when they reached the Expanse.

The captain stopped and leaned on the table.  "Maybe Trip's scans of
the engines will give us something."

"What exactly do you hope to find?" asked T'Pol.

Jon shrugged.  "I don't know.  A clue maybe, a hint as to who might
have killed seven million innocent people," he said with more anger
then he intended.  He began to pace again.  "Where is he?"

"Commander Tucker went to sickbay to see Dr. Phlox about a---scratchy
throat.  I did not expect it to take him this long."

"Trip's in sickbay?  You should have told me that, T'Pol," admonished
Jon then he turned and headed to the turbolift.

As he approached the sickbay doors, Jon felt something was terribly
wrong.  He hit the entrance button and walked in, his heart pounding
in his ears.  His eyes found his lover instantly.  Trip was sitting on
a bio bed, naked to the waist.  Dr. Phlox was bent over one of his
microscopes nearby.

"Hey, Cap'n," Trip gasped.

"Hey yourself," Jon replied.  He moved to Trip's side and placed his
hand on his engineer's back.  He was surprised to find it damp with
perspiration.  "What's going on?"

Trip coughed then gasped again.  "That's what the doc's trying to find
out," he said.  "I came in here with a scratchy throat and now I'm,
well, I'm feeling pretty lousy."

Jon brushed back Trip's damp hair.  "Doc'll have you as good as new in
no time," he soothed gently.

Trip took two ragged breaths then looked at Jon with wide eyes.
"Something's wrong," he managed then he toppled forward.

Jon caught his lover in his arms.  "Phlox!" he yelled as he eased Trip
down on the bed.  The younger man's breathing was stilted and shallow.

Dr. Phlox was there instantly.  "Step away, Captain," he ordered
firmly.  "Let me do my work."

Jon backed away, his eyes fixed on his lover's pale face.  Trip, he
thought helplessly.  He watched in horror as Trip's body stiffened
then convulsed then fell absolutely still.

"Oh no you don't, Commander!" yelled Phlox.

Jon froze.  His vision narrowed only to his lover.  An hour ago he was
kissing Trip in his private mess hall.  Three hours ago, he was in the
shower, buried deep within the young man, surging inside him as Trip
pulsed hard in his hand.  

Now he was here watching Trip, the very meaning of his life, fade
away.

---

"Captain."

Jon blinked.  He was still standing in sickbay.

"Captain?"

He blinked again then looked at Dr. Phlox who was standing at Trip's
bedside.

"What happened?" Jon asked, his voice unsteady.  "He's not---?"

"No."

Jon nearly collapsed.  He stepped over to the bed and looked at Trip
through tear-filled eyes.

"I've got him on a respirator breathing pure oxygen" Phlox continued.
"Somehow the commander inhaled a toxic element that quickly bound
itself to his hemoglobin.  The oxygen levels in his blood are
dangerously low."

"He can't breath on his own?"

Phlox shook his head.

The captain leaned over and kissed Trip's forehead.  "You hold on,
baby," he whispered.

"We should know soon if this oxygen therapy is working, Captain."

"And if it doesn't?" Jon asked.

"Then there's nothing else I can do," Phlox replied softly.  "I'll
give you a moment, Captain."

"No, no.  That's all right, Doc," Jon said, blinking back his tears.
He leaned forward on the bed to steady his body as it shook.  "I need
to---to let T'Pol know what's happened."

"I can do that."

"I'm captain of this ship, Phlox.  I'll do my duty!" Jon replied
harshly.  He stood and straightened his uniform then walked to the
comm.  "Archer to T'Pol."

"Go ahead, Captain."

"I'm in sickbay with Trip.  I'll be here for a while.  Have Malcolm
examine the commander's EV suit.  Somehow he managed to breath some of
that planet's air and I want to know how it happened."

"Yes, sir," responded the sub-commander.  There was a short pause.
"How is the commander, Captain?"

"He's critical, T'Pol.  Now please just do as I ask, okay?"

"Yes, sir."

Jon leaned against the wall and closed his eyes.  He could hear the
steady pumping of the machine behind him, the machine that was
breathing for his lover.  Not Trip, he pleaded silently.  Please, not
Trip.  Then he turned and moved back to his lover's side.  Phlox was
busy looking at the monitors over Trip's bed.

"Any change?"

Phlox shook his head.  "It's only been a few minutes, Captain.  Be
patient."

Jon took Trip's cold hand and stroked it gently.  "I shouldn't have
started this," he said softly, looking at his engineer's still face.

"Captain?"

"It's too hard, Phlox."

"I don't recall anyone ever saying love was easy, Human or otherwise,"
Phlox replied gently.

"That's just it.  I shouldn't have let myself fall in love with him."

"How can you stop yourself from feeling love for someone?" asked the
doctor.  "Captain, you said you've loved him since you first met him,
correct?"

Jon nodded.

"Then the reality is you'd be standing right where you are now even if
you hadn't chosen to confess your love for him," Phlox continued.  "In
the last two weeks, I've seen a very different Captain Archer.
There's no doubt in my mind that he completes you.  You two are bound
together and I don't believe either of you has a choice in the
matter."

The captain looked up at the Denobulan doctor.  "How'd you become so
wise?" he asked with a weak smile.

"As I've told you before, I have degrees in many fields," Phlox
replied kindly.

A few minutes later, the sickbay doors slid open and T'Pol and Malcolm
entered.  Both seemed shocked at the appearance of the engineer and
the respirator that was keeping him alive.  Malcolm leaned heavily at
the foot of the bed, his face suddenly white, while T'Pol's dark eyes
settled on Trip's pale face.

"Did you find anything, Malcolm?" asked Jon.  He still held Trip's
hand in his own, afraid to let it go.

"Yes, sir.  There's evidence of a long tear on the right side of the
commander's suit.  Sub-commander T'Pol and I believe it sealed itself
quickly but---not quickly enough."

"Ah, that explains this," said Phlox.  He pulled back the sheet that
covered Trip to reveal a long, darkening bruise along his rib cage.
He then gently pulled the sheet back up over his patient.

"The damage must have occurred when Mr. Tucker was examining the
engines," said T'Pol.  She took a quick intake of air.  "I apologize,
Captain.  The commander was under my command at the time.  I should
have taken better care."

"It wasn't your fault, T'Pol," Jon replied.  "Accidents happen."

T'Pol tipped her head in acceptance then looked again at Trip.  "Will
he recover?" she asked, her voice suddenly soft.

"We don't know yet."

---

Several hours later, Jon stood in front of the door, pausing
momentarily as his hand hovered over the entry pad.  He looked both
ways again to be sure the corridor was empty.  Only twenty-four hours
earlier, Jon recalled, Trip was slipping into the captain's quarters
and into his bed.  He paused on that thought then smiled gently.  Our
bed.

Phlox's oxygen therapy had worked.  Jon's mind wandered back to the
moment his lover was removed from the respirator; when his chest began
rising and falling without aide.  The moment Jon could start to breath
again.  He had almost lost his carefully held control.  He'd left his
lover sleeping under his doctor's watchful eye to continue with his
day as captain of Enterprise.  He'd ached to see the younger man,
sometimes painfully, but once he knew Trip was safe, his
responsibility became the ship and it's crew.  He was Captain Archer.

Now Jon stood outside Trip's quarters.  He keyed in his personal entry
code then silently slipped into the dimly lit room.  Trip was sleeping
in his bunk, curled up on his side facing the center of the room.  Jon
quietly moved to the head of the bunk and knelt down.  He reached a
gentle hand out and caressed his lover's cheek.  The skin was
blessedly warm.

"Jon," Trip murmured, shifting slightly under Jon's touch.

The captain put his forehead on the edge of the bed and wept, his body
shaking with his relief.  He felt a gentle hand stroke through his
hair and he looked up, wiping at his face.  Trip was looking at him
through sleepy eyes.

"I'm sorry, baby," Jon whispered, his voice unsteady.  "I didn't mean
to wake you."

"Its okay," Trip rasped, his voice hoarse from the tube that had been
feeding him life.  "You came to me," he smiled, sounding almost
surprised.  He brought a warm hand up to hold the side of Jon's face.

"I don't want to be anywhere else," Jon replied.  He grabbed Trip's
wrist and stayed his hand so he could kiss the palm.  He pulled the
hand away and looked at it.  "What's this?" he asked, fingering the
band around Trip's wrist.

"Oh that's the doc's leash," Trip replied.  "It's the only way he'd
let me out of sickbay.  He's monitoring me as we speak."

Jon smiled.  "Then I guess we better not do anything to arouse his
suspicion, huh?"

Trip chuckled then coughed softly.  "Stay with me?" he asked.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Trip replied.  He threw back his covers and rolled onto his
back.  He was clothed only in his blue standard issue pajama bottoms.
His hands moved to the waistband.

Jon instantly understood what his lover needed from him.  "Here, let
me," he said.  He leaned over and gently eased the pants off, pulling
down Trip's briefs at the same time.  He could feel the warmth of his
lover's body on his hands.  He tossed the clothing to the floor then
slipped off his own shoes.  His T-shirt, sweatpants, and briefs
closely followed.  The captain slid into the tiny bunk next to Trip
then hugged him close.  He carefully pulled up the blanket to cover
them both.  The space was so small, Trip had to all but lie on top of
Jon for both men to fit.  Jon wrapped his arms protectively around his
lover, taking comfort in the weight of Trip's body over his and the
feel of his bare skin pressed against him.    "I'm sorry I can't give
you more tonight," Trip mumbled drowsily.

Jon kissed his head.  "That's the furthest thing from my mind, Trip,"
he replied.  He gently ran his hand up and down Trip's back.  "Sleep
now."

"Maybe tomorrow night?"

"Hush."

"I'm sure I'll feel better by tomorrow night," Trip rasped, his voice
slurred.

Jon smiled in spite of himself.  "Trip."

His lover yawned.  "Yeah, tomorrow night," he sighed then coughed
softly.  "You know, Dr. Phlox really does have some interesting
ideas."

Jon rolled his eyes.  "Sleep, Trip.  That's an order."

"Love ya, Jon."

The captain squeezed his lover gently then kissed his head again.  "I
love you, too, baby.  Now sleep."

Trip sighed one last time and murmured something Jon couldn't
understand.  His breathing evened out and Jon knew his lover had
finally given in to sleep.

Jon kissed the blond head again.  "I love you, too," he repeated
softly.  He reached down and took Trip's hand in his, interlocking
their fingers.  Like Phlox said, he thought sleepily, we're bound
together.  He smiled and closed his eyes.

---

The End