The BLTS Archive - Missing Her
by Pixie Child (glitery_insane_pixie_child@yahoo.ca)

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Published: 07-07-06

Updated: 07-07-06

Timeline: 7.24 - Pre-emptive Strike

Beta: Insane Vampiress

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She probably should have seen it coming. She knew Ro had always been
sympathetic to their cause, even if she didn't approve of their
methods. But somehow Laren leaving the ship, her friends, and her
girlfriend was something Deanna had never even considered, let alone
prepared herself to deal with. They'd only been together for a few
months, but she'd felt a sense of... forever-ness she'd never known
before and she'd thought Laren had felt the same. Deanna and Ro had
always had more differences than similarities, but it had never
bothered either of them because, as the Bajoran had put it once
when talking to William, "It keeps things interesting."

They had had disagreements over many things and Laren would often get
fed up because Troi wouldn't yell no matter how she would try
to provoke her, but they always made up and on those nights she really
hoped their quarters were soundproof. Beverly would tease her during
their workouts that they were like fire and water, but Deanna knew she
didn't have a problem with the relationship between the two women.

When she learned from the Captain that Laren wouldn't be coming back,
she almost broke down right there. It's something she'll remember
forever, the way he told her with the guilt and sympathy for her so
strong the ship's counselor could barely focus. All she could do was
nod numbly, thank him for telling her and go to her quarters on
autopilot. That night she fell asleep sobbing because she knew the
chances of ever seeing Ro again were incredibly unlikely and, even, if
she did, if wouldn't be the same.

Deanna is aware of how her friends are worried about her because
she'd have to be dead not to feel it, but she can't bring herself to
say anything to reassure them that she'll be okay. She knows it's not
healthy, the way she's thrown herself into her work, obsessing over
every minor thing and, if one of her patients were doing it, she'd
tell them they'd have to confront their problem before they could get
past it. But she's scared that if she thinks about how Laren's joined
the Maquis and is now officially an enemy of Starfleet, she'll lose
it,and she can't afford to let go of her professionalism when there
are so many other people who need to see her about their feelings
regarding Lieutenant Ro.

Talking to Guinan has always helped in the past, but she's not sure
how comfortable she would be talking about her relationship in such a
public place. Aside from the senior staff, Deanna had been careful not
to make a big scene about her and Ro, not because she was ashamed -
she had always been proud to be with her - but because no matter how
far humanity had come, some people couldn't get past some things, same
-sex relationships being one of them. And the idea of falling apart in
Ten-Forward is less then appealing.

She just wishes she had had a chance to say goodbye and tell her one
last time that she loved her.

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The End