The BLTS Archive - In the Still of the Night
by Narina (wazmons@hotmail.com )

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Archiving : Sure, with permission from author. Make sure to keep all
of this and my name on it, oh drop me a line first please.

Disclaimer : Paramount own the minds, bodies and thoughts of Tom and
B'Elanna. I've just fiddled with their engrams for a bit.

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It's well past 0400 hours and B'Elanna is well and truly asleep. I'm
lying here awake, watching her body rise and fall as she sleeps. Her
body is covered by a drying sheen of sweat from our exertions. She
looks  so peaceful. It's frightening to think I almost lost her again
today. I  still shy away from thinking that, what would I do without
her?

Tonight we made love for the first time. It's a lot different from
fucking. To make love requires two people and is the most beautiful
thing in the universe. To fuck you only need one, and another warm
body.  I never realised up until now just how hollow it was. Being
with  B'Elanna tonight was wonderful. She never ceases to amaze me.

I came bolting down to her quarters the minute I heard she'd been
released from sickbay. I heard her voice telling me to come in the
minute I rang the chime. She knows me to well, my B'Elanna.

I wanted to race over to her, enfold her in my arms and never let her
go. I was still shaken up by the danger she'd been in, my heart was
pounding, my palms were sweaty as I barged my way in. I almost fell
over  her plant as I skidded to a stop. At that she looked up at me, a
PADD in  her hand. She looked calm, serene almost, sitting there on
the couch.  She wasn't fooling me however, I could see the residual
traces of fear  still on her face.

Now I've learned some things about B'Elanna since we started seeing
each  other. B'Elanna's very adept at hiding her deep emotions. Yeah,
I know  she gets angry and aggressive and it shows, but when it come
to fear and  uncertainty she hides it very well.

I'd only seen her frightened twice before. The first time was when
she'd  been split into two people and she really wasn't herself. The
second was  only recently. That was when we were floating in space and
rapidly  losing oxygen. She was convinced we were going to die. Only
then could  she admit she loved me. Her admission floored me, I
couldn't respond.  How I must have hurt her then.

Despite the smart mouth I've got, I've never been very good when stuck
in a tight spot.  I spent the next two days mulling over what she'd
told  me. In all honesty I thought she didn't really mean it. Finally
I  confronted her with it. She admitted the truth and then tried to
let me  out of it gracefully. There was no way I was going to let her
get away  from me. I desired this woman, the fact that she wanted me
too was just  too much to take, I was speechless. The only thing I
could think to do  at that moment was kiss her.

They say that you know you've found your soulmate the minute you share
your first kiss. Well B'Elanna is that person and I nearly lost her
the  day I finally found her. That night in her quarters she tried to
hide  how frightened she'd been but I'd seen through it. I did it
again  tonight.

I sat next to her on her couch and picked up her hand, she laced her
fingers through mine and started to talk. She told me how helpless
she'd  been. They sedated her and she couldn't fight back. I think
that's what  frightens B'Elanna so much, being helpless.

Later on she did something new, she cried. I held her as she sobbed
into  my chest.  She was curled into a ball of abject misery. All I
could do  was rub her back and make consoling noises, I don't know if
it helped.  Finally the crisis had passed, by this stage it was about
2200 hours.  I'd made her some chamomile tea and kissed her goodbye
when her voice  called me back from the door.

Her face and stance were very uncertain and she asked me to stay. She
said she needed to feel my arms around her, our bodies touching for
her  to feel alive. Finally heeding the blank look on my face she
asked me to  take her to bed. She's always been blunt but she also
looked vulnerable.

After she said that she looked studiously at the floor. Stunned, I
walked up to her and lifted her chin, all of a sudden I had to see her
face. Did she really want us to take this big step? I was quite happy
with the status of our relationship, I didn't want to rush her. This
next step would forever change what we have.

The look in her eyes convinced me. I took her hand and we walked to
the  bedroom together. Slowly we undressed each other, caressing each
exposed  part of skin, kissing lingeringly. Her eyes were dark with
desire yet  they pleaded with me to take the initiative. Her skin was
like silk, she  tasted like peaches as I kissed and licked my way
across her body.  Finally I entered her, it was bliss. Somehow I
managed to hold off my  climax until she'd come and then I fell into
both her and heaven.

So now I lay here, watching every breath she takes. Tonight was the
happiest night of my life. I reach out to her shoulder and touch her,
lightly run my hand down her spine. I feel the ridges of her spine,
the  legacy of her Klingon mother. I'm not going to wake her, she
needs her  sleep. A fierce sense of love sweeps over me, I want to
wake up next to  this woman forever, to protect and cherish her
always. I want to say all  this and more to her, yet I just can't find
the words.

She snuggles into my embrace and I kiss her bare shoulder. God I love
the Delta Quadrant.

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The End