The BLTS Archive - Even in Death by Midnight Topaz (ravaged_rhapsody@yahoo.com) --- Published: 02-21-07 - Updated: 02-21-07 A/N: Hey! (waves) Long time no see! I've been meaning to post some fics here for a while now, but nothing of value's been written until recently. I meant for my next fic to be a bit more... cheerful... and, obviously, this is not. But I just follow where the Muse leads. (lol) This takes place after Spock's death (which I already said in the summary), and it's Kirk's third person limited POV. And Spock's words are in italics (to reinforce the idea that he's deceased and not actually there talking with Kirk, if that makes sense). So, this is obviously slash, which is a male/male romance pairing. If this offends you, don't read the fic... but there's nothing explicit at all. Anyway, the title and the idea for this story came from the Evanescence song "Even in Death" (the lyrics are in italics beneath the fic). Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek, Paramount, or any other entity/company involved therein. --- Kirk sank onto the bed, staring blankly at the data card he grasped tightly in his hand. Briefly closing his eyes, remembering the last time he was in this room, on this bed, his whole body shook with repressed sobs. With a trembling hand he slipped the data card into the base of the viewer. "Computer, play. . . " his voice faltered and he hesitated. Although well aware that his belief was completely unreasonable, he was gripped with the irrational conviction that to watch the tape would somehow make Spock's death irrevocable. As if it isn't already, he thought bitterly. The torn, jagged shreds of the bond languished in his mind, causing an unbearable ache that could never be assuaged. The places in his soul that Spock once filled were empty and lacking. He felt inexorably incomplete, a pale shadow of his former self. Oh, Spock. . . Aloud, he said hoarsely, "Computer, play recording." On the viewscreen, the thin, angular face of his beloved smiled slightly at him and the dark eyes shined with affection. "Greetings, Jim." Such a simple statement. . . yet it squeezed his heart in an unbreakable vice. "I fervently hope that circumstances will not dictate that you are forced to watch this, but kaiidith! Obviously, it has happened, and there are matters I must address. "Never doubt, t'hy'la, the depth of my regard- my love- for you. I am aware that I frequently could not speak of the. . . emotions that were in my heart, but please know that this does not mean the emotions were non-existent. I cared deeply for you from the beginning of our acquaintance. First as a friend, then more like a member of my own family. . . and, later, as my lover and bondmate. "Jim, when I needed it most, you brought warmth into my life. I was seen as less than Vulcan, less than human, with no true place in either world. . . yet you were patient and accepted me in spite of- or perhaps because of- my dual heritage. You befriended me, gave me a home with you on the Enterprise. . . and for that, I will always be grateful. "Know always that I love and cherish thee above all others, my t'hy'la. Remember, our bond transcends death- we will be reunited someday." Spock touched his paired index and middle fingers to the screen. "Parted from me and never parted. . . never and always touching and touched. I await thee." Choking back hot, scalding tears, Kirk mirrored the action. "I love you, Spock," he whispered desperately to the face on the viewer. A last smile, a relaxing of the etched lines on Spock's face. . . as if hearing Kirk's words, he murmured, "I love you, Jim." The viewscreen went dark. Kirk impulsively grabbed the nearest pillow and held it close, hugging it to his chest. It smelled of Vulcan incense and something uniquely Spock, and Kirk buried his face in the cloth and curled up on the bed. God, he had never hurt so much. . . There was only one consolation in the bleak times he seemed destined for. We will meet at the appointed place, t'hy'la. Someday. . . Spock's soft expression of love was the only thing he saw in his mind's eye as he sank into the deep sleep of the relentlessly weary. --- Give me a reason to believe that you're gone I see your shadow so I know they're all wrong Moonlight on the soft brown earth It leads me to where you lay They took you away from me but now I'm taking you home I will stay forever here with you My love The softly spoken words you gave me Even in death our love goes on Some say I'm crazy for my love, Oh my love But no bonds can hold me from your side, Oh my love They don't know you can't leave me They don't hear you singing to me I will stay forever here with you My love The softly spoken words you gave me Even in death our love goes on And I can't love you, anymore than I do People die, but real love is forever. --- The End