The BLTS Archive - To Tell The Truth
#6c: M'Nea Madeleine
by melanie (melanie@skynet.ca)

---

Standing in the doorway to the Chief Engineer's office, Joe was 
rethinking talking to B'Elanna at that precise moment.

When he had woken and seen the stars streaking passed his window he
had been relieved they finally were at warp.  That meant the engines
were back online once more so he had thoughts of finally sitting down
with her to talk about what Tom had said in his note.  He knew the
plan was for her to approach Janeway about their plan when the engines
were ready to come back online and he had expected she would agree
with their course suggestion.  B'Elanna would be in a good mood now
that they were on their way to New Rachar and would be without the
excuse of Engineering matters to avoid their conversation.  Once he
had her take on things, then he would go to Harry for his version.

Seeing her pacing her office, clearly furious, was not a good sign.
Not wanting to be her punching bag, he was about to take a step back
out when she noticed him.

"She said she'd 'take it under advisement,'" she growled.

Bravely, Joe stepped further into the office, permitting the door to
close.  "You mean Janeway."

"Of course, Janeway.  I went to her, laid out our argument, gave her a
padd with everything on it, and she didn't even read the padd or
listen to the argument.  All that garbage about her hiding out in her
Ready Room after Tom left was all a lie.  She probably was in there
gloating about him being out of her hair."

"You know that's not true.  She cares about him.  Always has.
Everything that's happened to him has hurt her as much as it has you."

B'Elanna snorted.   "If it had, she'd be going after him now, not
chasing down some SOS."

"What?"

"We picked up some distress call and of course Janeway's taking us off
to answer it."

"It's a *distress* call.  That usually means someone's in *distress.*
We can't just ignore it."

"Yeah, but she wasn't going to go after Tom before we picked it up.  I
know she wasn't."  She recounted her version of the confrontation in
the Ready Room then on the Bridge.

"You don't know what she was going to do.  The odds were as good she
was going order Baytart to head for New Rachar as to the Alpha
Quadrant."

"But you didn't see her.  I know she wasn't about to agree with us."

"You *think* you know, but only Janeway knows for sure.  Now once
we've helped whoever needs us, then we can work on Janeway again.  You
know how single-minded she gets when a rescue's in progress."

She looked at him appraisingly.  "Why are you helping me get Tom back
anyway?  You weren't very supportive of Tom after we found out about
what he is."

Joe was silent for a long moment, staring at his hands.  "I think
that's sort of why.  After he left, I saw how you were, how devastated
you were, and I started thinking 'Why is she feeling anything for
Paris?  He's done all these bad things in the past.  He doesn't
deserve to be missed or mourned.'  Then the longer I thought about it,
I finally realized the operative words were 'the past.'  Whatever he
did, however he did it, it was long before we met him.  I'm not saying
I totally trust him anymore.  It would be foolish after everything The
Protectors did to... create him and everything that's happened with
this Implant thing after it met the Commander's akoonah."  He tapped
his forehead.  "We don't know how it's messing him up in here.  We
don't know how he's handling his two lives merging, *if* they are
merging at all.  This... thing they created might just be taking over
his mind again."

"It's not!"

"We don't know that for sure, B'Elanna.  None of us have spent much
time with him since he escaped from The Diogenes.  We don't know how
his personality has changed, if at all."

"It hasn't.  Look at what he did on Rachar.  Trying to be the hero and
helping them fight back against the Gherop.  That's Tom Paris.
Everyone here knows that's him."

"That certainly is the type of thing he does do, yes.  But that's not
to say saving them didn't some how benefit this AlphaOmegan whatever-
his-number-is."

"So what?  You're helping me because you're worried about the kind of
harm the AlphaOmegan Tom might be doing to the rest of the Universe?
Is that it?  You want us to go get him to protect everyone else?"

"In part.  In a very *slight* part, yes.  And for you, because you
want and need him to come back.  But also for me too, I guess.  Not
just the fact he and Sunfire know more about this Gopher Hole than we
do and that might be important, but also because I do miss Tom Paris. 
Whether that is who we'll find though when we get to New Rachar or if
it will be this AlphaOmegan character, I don't know.  I do hope it is
Tom though and if it is, that he can be convinced to set aside his
reasons for leaving and come back."  He took a deep breath. 
"Actually, that was the real reason I came in here.  I wanted to talk
about the note Tom left you."

"I don't want to-"

"I know you don't, but you need to.  I've talked with LaKeysha and
she's agreed to keep what she read a secret."

"LaKeysha?  You're saying Walesan read it too?"

"She was the one who found the padd.  She thought it was one she and
Vorik had been using.  She'd read all of it before she realized it
wasn't.  But you know her.  She doesn't usually gossip and certainly
won't after I asked her not to repeat a word of this.  Now, you going
to talk to me about this or am I going to keep wondering what's going
on?"

B'Elanna slumped into her desk chair and explained about anger
directed at a withdrawn Tom Paris and an inappropriate kiss shared
with Harry Kim.  When she finished, Joe sat in the guest chair,
stunned.

"So you kissed Harry and Tom somehow found out about it months later."

"Yes."

"And you didn't tell him?"

"No."  She told him about her confessing the entire incident to the
Captain who told Chakotay who confronted Harry about it.  Both
superior officers had convinced them not to tell Tom since it only
would hurt him needlessly.

"So much for the 'needlessly' idea," Joe sighed.

"I knew it would upset Tom, but they told us since only the four of us
knew what had happened and it didn't really mean anything, that if we
told Tom it would do more harm than good.  You remember what he was
like back then, all removed from everything.  And there was Tuvok's
mind temporarily living in Tom's body.  We honestly thought he had too
much to deal with at the time to tell him about something that did not
matter."

"But he found out somehow anyway."

"Yes, and I don't know how!"  She surged to her feet and began pacing
again.

"Well, you didn't tell him."

"No."

"That only leaves three people.  Janeway, Chakotay, and Harry.  I
doubt Janeway would.  I can't see her deliberately hurting anyone." 
He ignored her snort of derision.  "That leaves Chakotay and Harry.
Chakotay might."

"But he talked Harry out of telling Tom."

"At Janeway's request?  You know he'd do almost anything for her.
Besides, I don't think he's ever totally liked Tom, especially not
recently.  And from what Seven told me Geron said, when he went to ask
the Commander to lobby for our position, he received a very resounding
no."

B'Elanna had not heard this and did not know what to say.  She had
known Chakotay was mad about everything, but not known how mad.

"And what about Harry?  He's still mad about losing Souris and
everything.  What better way to get back at Tom than to tell him
something he knew would hurt him?"

"Harry's not that cruel."

"Harry's in a universe of pain right now, B'Elanna.  People will do a
lot of things they ordinarily would not do when they are feeling such
emotions."

"But to do this?"

"He has been furious with Tom lately.  I know you've been too wrapped
up in your own problems to really notice, but the rest of us have.
Harry's been doing everything he can to provoke a fight."

"But he went after Tom when we thought he was dead.  Why would he do
that if he didn't want to make peace or something?"

"I don't know," he said, rising from his chair, "but I'm going to ask
him and find out.  Computer, location of Harry Kim?"

"Harry Kim is on the Bridge," the computer supplied.

"He was there when I was," B'Elanna told him.  "He must have Alpha
shift."

Joe sighed.  "All right, I'll have to wait for his lunch break.
Computer, notify me the moment Harry Kim leaves the Bridge.  I'll talk
to him first, B'Elanna, and see what he says."

"I'll try Chakotay.  He was on the Bridge, too, but he's been wanting
me to talk to him so I'm sure if I call him, he'll come see me whether
he's on shift or not."

"You want to confront him here?" he asked dubiously.  "Might be better
elsewhere.  He'll open up easier and you two won't be disturbed."

"I have to see someone first then I'll go to my quarters and have
Chakotay come there.  You'll take Engineering?"

"Of course.  It'll be a while before Harry goes to lunch."

---

"Miss Wildman, you should be with the Doctor for your lessons," Seven
told the little girl who had stepped into Astrometrics.  "It is your
school time."

"The Doctor is too busy right now," Naomi explained.  "Could you show
me something?"

"What is it you wish to see?"

"New Rachar."

The former Borg nodded and called up the visuals of New Rachar with
which Sunfire had furnished Voyager.  Naomi came closer, her eyes
longingly running over every detail of the image projected on the
large screen before the console.

"It's beautiful."

"It is within the realm being of aesthetically pleasing to human
tastes," Seven concurred in her usual detached fashion.

"And Tommy's there."

"That is Lieutenant Paris' most logical destination, yes."

Something in the woman's voice drew Naomi's eyes from the image of the
planet to Seven's face.  "You didn't want him to go either."

"The ship...." She stopped.  In the passed twenty-four hours, the
Doctor and Lieutenant Megan Delaney both had taken issue with her
practical answers to their questions requiring the voicing of personal
opinions on the subject of Ensign Kim.  She sensed the same would be
the case if she commented on Lieutenant Paris and his valuable
contribution to Voyager.  So, instead she examined her feelings on the
subject and spoke them.  "No, I did not want him to go.  I... I find I
miss Mr. Paris' presence."

The girl slipped a hand into Seven's and leaned sideways against her,
eyes once more finding the New Rachar on the screen.  "I didn't want
him to go either, but he wouldn't stay when I asked him to."

Uncertain how to act with this unfamiliar intimacy, Seven did not
move, nor did she remove her hand from Naomi's.  "He apparently felt
he had to go."

"They made him go," was the whispered response.

"He was not 'made' to go, Miss Wildman.  He evaluated the situation
and decided upon this course of action.  However detrimental to
Voyager's collective it was."

"No," Naomi insisted, moving away.  "They made him leave.  And now
Neelix says she claims she's going to go after Tommy.  She doesn't
want him back.  She's just saying she does for some reason, but she
doesn't.  And even if she goes, he won't come back for her because he
knows what they've done."

Completely at a loss to comprehend to what Naomi was referring, Seven
could only watch her go then returned to her work.

---

"Geron?"

The young Bajoran looked up from his work to see B'Elanna Torres at
his side.  "Yes?"

"Joe says he heard you went to Chakotay and asked him to use his
influence with the Captain to get her to agree with our plans."

"Yes, but he refused."

"Did he say why?"

"He said it was the Captain's ship and she decides her course."

"Nothing else?"

"Just that I was very close to mutiny by suggesting he really was in
charge because the Captain was hiding in her Ready Room.  That made
him rather mad."

"I see.  Thanks."  She started to walk away, but his voice called her
back.

"You talked to the Captain about Paris?"

She nodded once.

"She said no, didn't she?"

"Yes.  She says after we've done what we can for this ship in distress
she'll take our request 'under advisement.'"

"But who knows what will have happened to him by then!"

His near panic was unexpected and it caused her doubts about him to
surface.  Because of that, she asked him the same question she had
asked Carey only a few minutes earlier.  "Why are you helping me get
Tom back anyway?  It's not like you've ever liked him."

"I have my reasons."

"Like what?"

He already had considered what his answer to this question would be if
asked.  Tem knew eventually someone would ask him why he was with them
and, though he hated lying, he hated possibly facing an enraged
Klingon even more.  His hope was that, once they found Tom, he would
be able to talk to him first and find out if what Ver said was true
and Paris had left because of what he had been told.  The odds were
that it was, but if it was not, Tem did not want to get into Torres'
bad graces if he did not have to.  He knew the Prophets were not
exactly going to be happy with that idea, but he had his own personal
safety to think of.

"Like Megan's happiness," he stated as his reason for helping the
conspirators.  It was a half-truth, but it was better than a whole
truth.  "She wants him to come home and I want her to be happy."

Temporarily appeased, B'Elanna left.

Geron released a huge sigh of relief then stopped.  What was he so
relieved about?  Paris still was out there, possibly in danger, and
now the Captain had refused the group's request to go after him.  He
had to do something to change the Captain's mind and there was only
one way he could think of doing that.  He had to tell her why Tom
Paris really left and confess his role in it.  Unfortunately, if he
did do that, the truth about what Jenny and Nozawa had seen months ago
would come out, invading Torres and Kim's privacy.  But if he could
get Janeway alone to tell her, surely she could keep a secret.  She
was a Starfleet Captain after all.  She had been entrusted by Command
to keep the secret of Omega particles.  Granted, all Captains knew
about them, but she had not said anything about them until there had
been no other choice but to tell the crew, hadn't she?  He could trust
her with this secret too, he was sure of it.

He consulted the computer as to the Captain's location.  Finding her
on the Bridge and knowing he could not leave his work without a really
good excuse -- telling his superior he was off to see the Captain
would create too many questions -- he waited.  Lunch was coming.  He
would wait until then to see if he could corner her and request a
meeting.

A plan in mind, he refocused on his work.

---


Chakotay stopped in front of B'Elanna's door.  He had hoped eventually 
she would want to talk and clearly Kathryn's refusal of her request 
appeared to have made "eventually" now.  Reaching out, he tapped the 
announcer and quickly received the permission to enter.

Seated on the couch, facing him, B'Elanna did not look as he had
thought she would.  When the text message from her had appeared on his
console moments earlier, he had thought he would find her frantic or
distraught.  Instead, he found a very serious, almost calm woman. 
This was his first clue that something was not quite right.

"Chakotay.  Take a seat."

"Thanks."  He sat a cushion away from her own on the couch.  "You seem
better."

"Do I?"

"As opposed to yesterday morning in the Mess Hall, yes."

"Ah, yes.  Yesterday morning when you sicced the Doctor on me to make
me leave Engineering for a while."

"You were-"

"Tired, yes, I remember you saying that.  I also remember you saying
we had to talk about what happened."  She leaned back into her corner
of the couch and crossed her arms before her.  Her brown eyes were
hard.  "So tell me, Chakotay.  You used the word 'we.'  '*We* have to
talk about what's happened,' not '*You* have to talk about what has
happened.'  So what do *you* want to tell me about all this?  Maybe
about your being the one who told Tom about Harry and I kissing once,
months ago?  Did you honestly think it would make him leave or was
that just an added bonus?"

"What?"

She could not keep up the pretence of calm any longer.  She exploded
up off of the couch and glared at him, fists clenched at her sides. 
"Oh, come on, Chakotay.  There were only four people who knew about
what Harry and I did and I did not tell Tom.  That leaves only you,
Harry, and the Captain.  Unless Janeway told him when they were
escaping from the Gherop prison -- which would be a really strange
time to do it -- she couldn't have told him.  After he came back to
Voyager, he was in that meeting with you and her and the two Rachar
then the Doctor took him to Sickbay and he was unconscious until he
left.  I asked the Doctor just before you came here if she ever went
to Sickbay while Tom was there and he said no, she contacted him about
Tom, but could not get away from the Bridge to come see him."

"B'Elanna-"

"Harry was mad enough to tell him," she continued.  "He was off duty
at the time Tom was waking up and I did find him in one of the
corridors, but as upset as he was about what had happened on Rachar
with the Gherop, I don't think he wanted to see Tom right then.  And
both of us had put Dartin VIII out of our minds.  I doubt it would
have occurred to him to throw it up in Tom's face, even if he had been
in less stunned frame of mind."  The glare became even more pointed. 
"So that leaves only one person left.  You."

"Look, if Paris knows anything, it's not because I told him.  And what
makes you think he knows anything anyway?"

She stomped over to the desk, took out a padd, and returned to the
couch to thrust it at him.  "Tom brought this to Engineering before he
went to see the Captain, only I was too distracted to even notice
him."  Her voice cracked.  "There was so much chaos there at the time
and I was so tired I could only focus on one thing and that was fixing
the problems.  I never even knew he'd been there until after he'd gone
and Joe Carey brought me that."

Chakotay finished reading Tom's note and shook his head.  "I don't
know what he knows or how he knows it, but I didn't tell him anything.
Before the day he left, it had been days since I had said anything to
him or was alone with him."

"You expect me to believe that?" she demanded, snatching the padd back
and holding it protectively to her chest.  "You've never liked Tom.
Even back in the Maquis, you hated him."

"With good reason.  You know that."

"That may be, but he's grown up a lot since he's been on Voyager, only
you've never seen that."

"I've seen it," he admitted with anger, "but do you honestly think
that matters anymore?  Look at what we now know about him."

"I am tired of hearing about 'what we now know about Tom!'  It wasn't
his fault so stop blaming him!  They made him do it.  He had no say in
it.  He should not be penalized for things that aren't his fault."

"And what about the things that are?  What about the Cardassians he
killed?  The ones who captured the Captain and Paris' father and
tortured the Admiral?  What about what he did to them?  That was his
doing.  You're saying he shouldn't be blamed for that?"

"I never thought I would hear you mourning the deaths of a few
Cardassian soldiers."

"Killing them in battle's one thing.  Torturing them the way he did is
another."

"He was insane at the time, he admits that.  Wouldn't you have been
under the same circumstances?"

It was a logical assumption, only Chakotay was in no mood for logic
where the subject of Tom Paris was concerned.  He continued to
zealously hang onto his anger.  "Whatever his reasons, he did do it.
We can't forget that."

"Or is it *you* can't forget it?"  She cut him off before he could
respond to the charge.  "I love him, Chakotay, and I plan to find him
and talk sense into that thick skull of his whether you like it or
not.  If you don't, then... then you might as well leave and not speak
to me again except on official matters because he is my mate and I
won't have you talking about him this way any longer."

"B'Elanna, see sense about this."

"I have seen sense!  Finally!  After the truth came out I was stupid
and confused and all... off kilter thanks to that pet'q Raven and his
hormones.  Then I came to my senses.  This is Tom we're talking about.
I love him.  I know him.  Whatever he did in the past doesn't matter."

Chakotay attempted to object but she would not let him.

"Whether what he did was his idea or not!  I am going to find him and
talk to him and get him back.  Now are you going to tell me exactly
what you said to him or what?"

Chakotay stood to face her.  "For the last time, I did not tell Paris
any of this.  I told you and Kim I'd keep this between the four of us
and that's what I've done.  And furthermore, you're making a huge
mistake thinking Paris is worth your love and... and trust.  Look at
everything he's done.  Look at everyone he's hurt.  Even if he's not
criminally responsible for it all, even if he was brainwashed into
doing it or was incompetent due to reason of insanity when he
committed some of his crimes, he did commit them.  He does carry
around the memories of them, the training he was given to be able to
commit them. If even half of what he and Sunfire claim was done to him
actually is true, there's a very real danger he's mentally unhinged or
getting there.  The potential for him to turn violent -- whether or
not he wants to or means to-" he hastened to add, "is a very real
possibility.  I for one don't want anyone I love or care about
anywhere near him when he finally loses it."

"Just like Joe," she grumbled under her breath.

Chakotay caught the words, though not the meaning.  Carey certainly
was not experiencing any psychotic moments as far as he knew so she
could not mean he had lost his mind and was out of control.

"If Tom is of precarious mental stability," she continued, "then it's
up to us to help him.  We're his family."

"B'Elanna, we're not trained counsellors.  That's what he'd need. 
That and massive doses of antipsychotics probably," he argued, not
mentioning his plans for designing the ECH programme.

"But the Alpha Quadrant has plenty of both psychiatrists and drugs and
that's where we're going.  Without him," she stressed.  "You'd rather
leave him to the mercy of the Rachar, who have enough problems trying
to re-establish their species on another homeworld?  We don't even
know if they know anything about psychiatry or about Tom's past.  They
won't be able to treat him like we will in the Alpha Quadrant."  She
gave him another assessing look.  "Or are you thinking to just let him
be their problem?  Leaving him in the Delta Quadrant would mean we and
the Alpha Quadrant wouldn't have to worry about him?  Is that it? 
Well, if you're right and he's losing his sanity, then the Rachar will
be in danger as will everyone else in this Quadrant.  The Alpha
Quadrant created him.  We are morally and ethically responsible to
take care of the problems we create.  We can't just unleash a
potential destructive force on an unsuspecting quadrant and not warn
anyone.  If Tom doesn't want to come back to us, at least the Rachar
have to be told about him and warned of what he might be capable of
doing.  You cannot argue with that."

"Sunfire is with him.  She'll look after him and do whatever needs to
be done."

"A ship?  I don't care if she is sentient, she's not his family."

"She's known him longer than we have."

"She's known AlphaOmegan 41783, not Tom Paris."

"B'Elanna, I'm not going to argue this point with you any longer since
you're obviously in no frame of mind to see sense.  Paris is gone.
However finding out you and Harry kissed each other came into play in
that decision, I don't know nor do I care.  He gone and that's what's
best for us.  We are not going after him."

She was so mad she could not form a single word to express it.

"B'Elanna," he said in a soothing voice, "I know you don't agree with
me right now, but sometime in the future you will calm down and see
I'm right about this."  He headed for the door yet turned back a
moment later.  "And if you still are entertaining ideas of going off
after him, don't.  You'll only get yourself captured by the Gherop or
something worse."

As he walked out the door and proceeded down the corridor with the
intent to find Carey and see what her 'Just like Joe' comment meant,
he heard breakables impacting on the walls of the Chief Engineer's
quarters.

---

"The planet is Mot-Ri.  Also known as Mining Station 718.  Quite the
vacation spot, isn't it?"

Taking the seat at the Helm, Tom glanced up from the readings from the
planet to see reflected on the main viewer what Sunfire had recalled
him to the Bridge to see -- a Jupiter-sized world.  "Hmm. 
Inhospitable surface.  Unstable landmasses.  It's no wonder they're
using slave labour to work the strip mines.  No one would willingly
work under these conditions."

"I'm tapped into their computer system.  How much information do you
want?"

"Everything."

"That will take a few minutes."

"Fine."  He watched the station's information amass in the ship's
databanks.

"Sunbird?"

"Hmm?"

"Can we talk?"

"Always."

"Okay."  She paused.  "You're... You're still hearing voices, aren't
you?"

He closed his eyes.  "How'd you know about -- You were tapped into
Voyager and The Diogenes'.  You heard everything that went on," he
said, answering his own question.

"Yes.  I heard you telling the Captain, Commander, and the Doctor
about the voices of..."

"You can say it.  The voices of my dead?  My victims?  Yes, I still
hear them sometimes.  Gul Camet mostly.  Actually," he smiled at the
irony, "you have him to thank for changing my mind about destroying
the Gherop Homeworld.  Not that it was what he had in mind.  He just
wanted to torture me some more."

"You talk like they're real."

"They were real.  I should know.  I killed each and everyone of them."

"*Were* real.  They aren't anymore.  They aren't in your head talking
to you."

Tom thrust himself out of his seat and paced around.  "Don't you think
I know that?  Don't you think I know there's no way they could be in
here?" he demanded, repeatedly slamming the heel of his hand into his
forehead.  "Don't you know I know these are the first signs of
psychosis?"  His voice broke on the last word.

"You're not going to go insane," she insisted.

"Going to go?  I'm already there.  Look at what I'm doing?  I'm in the
middle of the Delta Quadrant all by myself-"

"You're not all by yourself.  I'm here."

"And to get you here, I've played on your loyalty to me as your former
leader to drag you along with me on this crazy quest for vengeance
that probably doesn't have a snowball's chance on Vulcan of
succeeding.  I'm probably just going to get us killed, but am I
stopping?  Am I telling you to turn around and go back to New Kildare
where we'd be safe and sound?  No.  No, I'm not.  And there isn't a
single part of me that wants to, even though I know how this probably
will end.  How I'm probably taking you to your death."

"Sunbird, I'm not here because of some blind loyalty to my leader. 
I'm here because you need me and this is where I want to be.  If it
wasn't, I wouldn't have come.  When you transferred my consciousness
into the Vanguard, just before my body died, you freed me from the...
the mindless loyalty The Protectors programmed into me to have towards
you.  If I follow you wherever you lead it's not because they made me
incapable of doing anything else.  It's because I want to do it."

"Why?  Why when you know what's going to happen?  When you know what a
folly it is?"

Sunfire almost told him the truth then and there.  She almost told him
how much she loved him and that she was willing to follow him to the
ends of the Universe and beyond if he asked her to.  But she knew he
was not ready to hear that, not when he still had to get over the
duplicity of one B'Elanna Torres.  So instead she avoided his
questions and came back to the original topic.

"I just found the Homeworld!  According to the communiqués coming from
there, the new Gherop Leader, a female cousin of T'Do's named R'Co, is
due to be officially installed as the new Leader in a few days' time.
She's going all out and having this ridiculously grand affair.
Everyone who's anyone in the Gherop Empire is on their way to the
Homeworld for it."

"That could be good for us.  Lots of people there.  Mass confusion. 
We can work with this.  This R'Co.  What kind of info can you get me
on her?"

"There's quite a bit.  Probably not all though."

"She made any statements about her plans?  'I plan to continue on as
my cousin T'Do started' et cetera?  Any indication of her opinion on
anything."

"Nothing, but like I say, these guys probably don't have all the
information.  They're just an outpost, and one rather removed from the
heart of the Empire at that.  They don't have a close connection to
the annals of power.  They're like E'Arte was -- exiled here because
they committed some sort of infraction or insulted the wrong person."

"So they aren't getting all the gossip or the most recent news from
home.  Got it.  You have everything now?"

"Yes."

"Then let's go."

As they left, Tom hardened his heart.  He had to or he would have
found himself trying to free the poor wretches toiling in the
inhospitable conditions on the surface.  The big picture was what he
had to focus on.  Yes, he could free the slaves, only in doing so he
would tip his hand to the Gherop and they would tighten their
security.  He wanted them nice and unsuspecting for what he had
planned.

---

"Lieutenant!"

Joe paused in his hurrying down the corridor and turned.  "Commander."
There was surprise in Carey's voice as he addressed Chakotay.  He had
expected the other man to still be with B'Elanna in her quarters,
talking, not roaming the halls of Voyager.

"Lieutenant, I need to speak with you for a moment," Chakotay informed
him, coming abreast of him.

"Um, could it wait, sir?  I need to speak with Ensign Kim on some
matters and the computer says he's taken the early lunch break.  I'd
like to talk to him before he has to go back on duty."

"This can't wait."

Three crewmembers passed them and Chakotay clearly realized the middle
of the corridor was not the best locale for any discussion.  He
gestured for Carey to follow him and proceeded to a storage room a
ways along the corridor.  Once inside the large room, he took a seat
on a box and motioned to the one across from it.  Seeing as this was
his superior officer and he could order him to stay and talk whether
he wanted to or not, Joe sat where indicated and hoped it did not take
long or he would miss Harry in the Mess Hall.

"I just came from seeing B'Elanna.  Since you're apparently in on this
plan of hers to go after Paris, I don't see any reason why not to tell
you what was said."  And so he recounted his take on the entire
conversation between himself and Torres only minutes earlier in her
quarters.  At the end of it, he sighed and shook his head yet said no
more.

"But if you know I'm for bringing Tom back here," Joe questioned
slowly, "why are you here telling me all this?"

"Because I have the feeling you are helping her more because you think
it will do just that -- help her -- not because you really want Paris
back here.  She made a comment that puzzled me.  For a moment I
couldn't figure it out then I realized what she really meant.  You
agree with me that Paris is potentially dangerous, don't you.  Maybe
even that we all might end up in danger if he does give in to his
psychosis?"

The engineer was torn.  He did not want to lie to the commander and
deny the truth in his statement, but at the same time he knew if he
admitted it he could tell Chakotay would use it against B'Elanna and
her plans.

"Lieutenant?"

"Yes, I do have concerns about Tom," he began slowly, "but I also
think they are outweighed by the benefits of his presence.  Namely, if
something goes wrong with the Gopher Hole I would rather he and
Sunfire were present for consultation.  And there are some on board,
B'Elanna, Harry Kim, Naomi Wildman, and Megan Delaney primarily who
need to resolve their issues with him or they'll never be able to move
on. That's why I want him back here, Commander."

Chakotay opened his mouth to argue, but Joe pre-empted him.

"And, yes, I do worry about his mental state, but I worry more about
the unwitting people he might encounter and harm if the worst case
scenario comes truth and he does give in to madness.  We know him and
his past, about the potential danger he might be to himself and
others.  Others don't and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I
thought there might be the slimmest possibility of something bad
happening and I did nothing.  Don't you feel the same way, Commander?
Or are you more concerned with your own safety and your own dislike of
Tom Paris than you are about the dangers for others?"

Joe rose and excused himself before Chakotay could answer.

-------

By the time Joe reached the Mess Hall, he was relieved his worries
over his target having been intercepted by someone else, specifically
the ubiquitous Seven of Nine, were unfounded.  The minute he had left
the Commander, he had asked the Computer the time and found half of
the lunch break was over and he wished he had arranged to meeting Kim
in his quarters to ensure privacy.  'But then I'm out of replicator
credits,' he had thought.  'I would have had to go to the Mess Hall
for trays and the Commander would have waylaid me anyway and I would
be no further ahead than I am.  How am I supposed to talk to him with
Miss Stick-to-him-like-adhesive there?'

Only she was not there after all.  'Maybe she's wrapped up in the
sensor data coming from the ship in distress and she's not going to
leave Astrometrics to shadow Harry,' he hoped as he collected a tray
at the serving counter and scanned the room for his quarry.  'Clearly
her constant attention hasn't done him any good judging by the look of
him,' he lamented, seeing the ensign seated alone at a corner table on
the highest level of the room.  Whether by chance or design of the
others who did not wish to be around the sullen young man at risk of
becoming depressed themselves, he had been given a wide berth by the
other diners.  'At least I can be assured no one at an adjacent table
will overhear something.'

When Joe stopped at the table, Harry did not look up from the food he
was listlessly playing with.

"Harry?  Can I join you?"

The ensign finally did glance up and it was evident he had not slept
much, if at all, since the last time Joe had seen him.  He shrugged
and returned to his food.

Placing his own tray on the table, the engineer sat opposite him. 
"Harry, I need to talk to you about somethings and this is as good a
place as any, I guess."

The younger man could not muster more than a mild interest as his eyes
met Joe's.

Keeping his voice low so if someone did try to eavesdrop they would
not hear anything, Joe started the questions.  "Harry, why'd you go
after Tom?  When the Doctor figured out Tom might not be dead after
all, you apparently were first to volunteer to go recover his body or
rescue him.  Why?"

Harry's eyes dropped.

"Look, I know you and I don't normally talk like this, exchanging
confidences and all, but B'Elanna and I were talking and things came
up that just didn't make sense.  Your going off after a man you
supposedly despised was one of them."

"I don't despise Tom," Harry admitted quietly in a sad voice.

Joe's eyebrows lifted.  "You've forgiven him for everything?"

"I-"

"Ensign.  Lieutenant.  May I join you?"

'So much for her being absorbed with sensor data,' Joe grumbled to
himself as Seven of Nine stood next to his chair.  'And so much to
hearing Harry's version of things.'

By tacit agreement, the men abandoned their conversation -- limited
though it had been.  The rest of the lunch was spent with Seven and
Engineering concerns monopolizing the conversation.  She showed no
signs of leaving and finally Joe had to so Vorik, who had been left in
charge of Engineering in his and B'Elanna's absence could eat too.

"Harry, if we can talk later?" he asked.  "Say in my quarters after
dinner?"

Harry nodded and Joe left.

---

"Captain, there she is."

At Baytart's announcement, Janeway looked up from B'Elanna's padd and
to the main viewer.  Hanging in space, almost powerless, was a small
shuttle no one could deny was Alpha Quadrant in origin.  Emblazoned on
her side was "Baile Atha Cliath" which made no sense to her until the
universal translator, through Harry, translated for the Gaelic-
challenged the words which were one version of the name "Dublin."

"Hail them," she ordered, getting to her feet.

Harry shook his head though she was looking at the screen, not him. 
"No response."

"There is only one lifesign," Tuvok announced.  "Terran female.  She's
unconscious."

Janeway nodded.  "Are we within range?"

"Yes."

"Beam her directly to Sickbay.  Bridge to Doctor, you're about to get
company."

"Captain, the shuttle's warp core is about to breech."

"Shields up!  Back us off Mr. Baytart.  Fast."

Seconds after they moved out of harm's way, the Dublin exploded.

"Report."

"No damage to Voyager," the Head of Ops answered.

"There was no evidence of a imminent breech," the Security Chief said
in turn.  "It appears to have been a deliberate action. "

Janeway frowned.  "But you said she was unconscious.  How could she
have done it?"

"An automatic self-destruct mechanism most likely.  Perhaps triggered
by the transporter beam.  Were it our proximity, it would have been
triggered immediately.  Unless there is a time delay for some reason."

"That's quite a way to keep people off of your ship," Chakotay
observed.

The Captain nodded.  "You have the Bridge, Commander.  Tuvok, you're
with me.  I want to have a word with our guest when she wakes up."

---

"Captain, Commander," the EMH anxiously called, "come explain to our
guest the need for bed rest after what she's been through."

The dark haired woman they had rescued was very much awake, in fact
was sitting up on her biobed and facing away from them as they entered
Sickbay.  At hearing them enter, she whirled her head around to see
them and promptly had a dizzy spell.

"See?" the hologram crowed.  "You shouldn't even be sitting up right
now.  Were it not for my brilliance, you would not be alive right now
so lie down until I tell you to get up."

"But you don't understand," she pled, her green eyes earnest.  "My
ship has a self-destruct sequence.  The moment my lifesigns no longer
were detected, it was armed."

"It already exploded," Tuvok told her.

Now she lay down.  Actually, collapsed was more accurate a term.  "Now
how am I going to get home?"

"We'll be happy to take you," Janeway offered eagerly, "if you can
tell us how you got here from the Alpha Quadrant."

"Alpha Quadrant?  I'm not from the Alpha Quadrant.  Well, I am, but I
don't live there anymore.  Haven't since I was two."

"Two?  How...?"

"Ms. Molloy says she is from New Kildare," the EMH inserted.  He
grimaced at the nonplussed looks on his audience's faces.  "New
Kildare.  System 091?  The system that just vanished without a trace
twenty-four years, ten months and nineteen days ago?"

Comprehension began to dawn.

The Captain eagerly moved closer.  "How'd you get here?"

"It's a long story.  The Dublin?  It was totally destroyed?"

"Unfortunately, yes.  We didn't know about the self-destruct until it
was too late."

"Your ship.  There wasn't any damage was there?  No one was hurt?"

"None.  We moved away in time, Ms Molloy, is it?"

She held out her hand to shake.  "Maire Molloy."

"Captain Kathryn Janeway.  My Security Chief, Lieutenant Commander
Tuvok.  And you've met the Doctor.  So how did you get here?"

"I work at O'Connor Propulsion Research Facility on New Kildare.  I
was out testing my new modifications to the Dublin's engines when I
ran into a problem and ended up like you found me."

"But how did New Kildare end up here in the Delta Quadrant?"

"Well, to be honest, I can't give you the technical explanation.  I
was only two when it happened and I've never really been all that
interested in the hows or whys of our ending up here.  I figure we're
here and that's always been that.  But now you're here.  I know the
people back home will be extremely interested to hear people from the
Alpha Quadrant have finally made it here.  *If* you'd be willing to
take me home to New Kildare, that is."

"Of course we'd be willing to.  What are the co-ordinates?"

Maire supplied them and Janeway relayed them to Baytart at the Helm.
The new lieutenant predicted their ETA to be the next day at
approximately 0815 if they travelled at Warp Eight.  It was with more
enthusiasm than she had displayed in weeks that the Captain told him
to engage and broke the connection.

"You should be home tomorrow morning, barring any unforeseen
complications.  I doubt though your people will be overly excited when
they hear our ending up in the Delta Quadrant wasn't exactly our
doing.  Five years ago, we were brought into this quadrant by an
entity known as the Caretaker and we've been trying to get home
since."

"If no one is going to listen to my expert medical advice, you might
as well leave," the Doctor huffed as he collected up his instruments.

"Come with me, Ms. Molloy," the Captain offered, "and we'll find some
place more comfortable to talk."

"If it's not too much trouble, could it be somewhere with food?  I'm
famished."

"We'll replicate something in my quarters.  I'd take you to the Mess
Hall, but I'd like to have a chance for uninterrupted discussion
before everyone descends on you to ask questions.  Tuvok, call a
Senior Staff meeting for 1600.  Almost three hours should give us
plenty of time to talk and get you fed."

Maire accompanied the other woman out of Sickbay.  Neither one noticed
Tuvok remain behind.

"Lieutenant Torres asked the Captain," Tuvok informed the hologram,
"but we detected Ms. Molloy's distress call before she could instruct
Mr. Baytart on the heading he was to set, either for New Rachar or the
Alpha Quadrant.  By the look on Lieutenant Torres' face, the Captain
had not specified the route to her either."

"And now we're taking this one home and getting farther away from Mr.
Paris all the time.  How is Lieutenant Torres taking this?"

"I haven't seen her since the Captain gave the order to answer the
distress call.  She was not pleased to be delayed.  When she hears
about this new heading, she will be even less pleased."

"You want to tell her before she finds out the hard way?  I can't
really leave Sickbay unattended."

"I will tell her."

"And I'll charge up the osteogenic stimulator and dermal regenerators
just in case."

Tuvok nodded.  "That may not merely be a jest."  He walked out in
search of the lieutenant.

---

"What do you mean she's not here?" Joe hissed.

Had he been human, Vorik would have shrugged.  "She has yet to return,
Lieutenant."

"Great.  Just great.  And you need lunch yet."  Joe glanced around,
taking inventory of the crew working around Engineering at the moment. 
"You go.  I'll give Nicoletti a chance to be in charge for a few
minutes while I go check on B'Elanna."

"I do not think that will be necessary, sir."

Joe followed Vorik's gaze and saw what the Vulcan did -- a volatile
looking Torres stalking through the main doors.  After years of her
mood swings, the Engineering staff instantly recognized the danger
signals when they saw them.  Everyone who had been very busy to begin
with suddenly became twice as busy and none dared chance meeting the
Chief's eyes for fear of their lives.  Thankfully, she headed straight
for her office and they could relax for the time being.

"I'll handle this," Joe sighed.  "You go for lunch."

"Good luck, sir."

"I may need it."

They parted company, Vorik for the Mess Hall, Joe for the lioness'
den.

"You won't believe what Chakotay said to me," she roared a moment
later and Joe was sure the crew could hear her bellow through the
closed office door behind him.

"Actually, I would," he stated calmly, taking the wind out of her
sails.  "He cornered me when I was on my way to see Harry in the Mess
Hall.  It must have been just after he left you.  He told me all about
your conversation."

"Why?"

"Apparently you made some remark that made him think I might be
sympathetic to his side of the argument, but that I was on your side
out of loyalty to you."

"Well, aren't you?"

"To a degree, yes.  But only to a degree.  I made that clear to him.
And you and I have been through this and settled the matter, I
thought."

Nodding, she dropped into her desk chair.  "Joe, what are we going to
do?  Once we get to this ship in distress and help fix it or
whatever-"

"You haven't heard?"

"Heard what?"

"We already reached it.  According to what Vorik told me before you
arrived, we got to within transporter range, beamed the only occupant
to Sickbay then had to back off fast because the ship blew.  Now we're
on our way to take the pilot home."

She went very still.  "Let me guess.  It's even further in the wrong
direction from Tom?"

"Yes."

"See?  I told you Janeway wasn't going to go after Tom!"

"Maybe, once we've dropped the survivor off at home-"

"And maybe the warp core will sprout a nice crop of daisies this
year."  She punched out a command on her computer and glared at the
screen.

The sound of the announcer interrupted what Joe was planning to say.
At B'Elanna's barked "Come," the Security Chief entered.  Turning his
back to B'Elanna, Joe gave Tuvok a grim look then left.

"Lieutenant, may I speak with you for a moment?" Tuvok requested as
the door closed.

B'Elanna barely glanced up from her computer screen.

Tuvok came towards her desk and looked at what so commanded her
attention.  "So you already know where we're headed."

"In the wrong direction from Tom, that's where," she bit out, eyes
never leaving the starchart of the sector.  Thanks to the information
Maire had furnished Janeway with, Astrometrics had been able to
accurately label the Y Llat Dust Cloud and New Kildare therein as the
finishing point of Voyager's flight path.

"So what do you plan to do?"

She shot him a look.  "What do you think I'm planning to do.  If
Janeway won't listen to reason, then to Hell with her.  I'll get Tom
back on my own."

"And, Lieutenant, how do you plan to do this?  Take a shuttle and go
through Gherop space all by yourself?  If you are not captured within
a day, I will be surprised."

"I won't be captured."

"You intend to go out fighting?"

"At least I will have tried to get to Tom.  *She* doesn't seem the
least bit interested in the idea.  When I asked her, gave her our
research and plans, told her about them, she didn't say anything.  Not
one word.  She just more or less told me to shut up and walked out
onto the Bridge."

"The Captain actually told you to 'shut up?'"

"Not the exact words.  But her meaning was clear.  There is no doubt
in my mind, if that SOS had not been picked up, she would have told
Baytart to head for the Alpha Quadrant, not New Rachar.  No doubt at
all."

"So you intend to leave Voyager yourself and look for Mr. Paris?"

"Yes."

"I feel I must remind you that there exists the possibility Mr. Paris,
for whatever reason, is not on New Rachar.  If you arrive there and he
is not there, you may spend the rest of your life alone, searching for
him.  The Delta Quadrant is a large and dangerous place to search for
one person, especially if the searcher is alone him or herself.  Many
people do develop mental illnesses in such isolated circumstances."

"I don't care.  I'm still going."

"May I make an alternative suggestion?"

"What?"

"Permit me to speak with the Captain and see if I can change her mind.
She was reading what I believe was the padd you gave her.  The one she
had in her hand when the two of you exited her Ready Room earlier
today?"  At her confirmation of the padd's origin, he nodded.  "Then
there is hope yet that she will change her mind about our request.
Added to that, I have known her for many years.  There have been
instances in which I have been able to persuade her to see the logic
in arguments when she has not been willing to open her eyes and mind
to it.  Perhaps I can do the same this time."

B'Elanna mulled over the idea then nodded.

"I have your word that you will not go through with your intention to
search for him alone unless the Captain rejects my appeal?"

Another begrudging nod.

"Good."  He headed for the door and paused half-way there, not turning
back towards her.  "And, Lieutenant, if that time does come?  Please
tell Mr. Paris he will not be forgotten."  Tuvok resumed his
departure.

---

Swallowing her forkful of vegetable lasagne, Maire continued her
narrative.  "So it took us years to be able to create sensors powerful
enough to cut through the dust particles so we could navigate through
the cloud."

"But you never leave to explore the systems around you?"

She shrugged.  "A little, thus the need for the self-destruct of
mechanism, but there aren't many inhabited systems around us to
explore anyway."

"But still..."

"New Kildare wasn't settled by explorers, Captain, not space explorers
anyway.  We're scientists and inventors and artists and educators. 
You see, New Kildare was started as colony to preserve the Irish
Gaelic dialect, culture, traditions, history, and art, not as a
Federation outpost or port for passing starships.  We created a home,
not a homebase."

"I guess that explains your accent and name.  Irish."

She nodded.  "We're mostly Irish, but there were some students and
professors on New Kildare at the time of the Relocation who weren't
Irish at all.  Some were French from the Sorbonne, others were Dutch
from the University at New Amsterdam.  They were part of an exchange
programme with our New Dublin University and their home universities.
And there are a couple of others from other Terran-origin cultures who
had married a New Kildare resident prior to The Relocation and
naturally came with us."

"So after The Relocation and your people were able to develop sensors
that could cut through the dust cloud, no one ever got curious about
their new home quadrant?"

"As I said, a little, but most of our ships were short range shuttles
like the Dublin.  Like her, before I modified her engines anyway." 
She groaned and fell back into her chair, eyes closed.  "Oh, how am I
going to explain losing her to the directors of the OPRF?  They'll
take it out of my salary, I just know it."  She sighed and looked at
Janeway.  "Of course, being brought home by actual people from the
Alpha Quadrant should help distract them.  Fair warning, your crew's
going to be inundated with questions about what's been happening back
there, even if your information's five years old now."

"And so will your people.  Scientists have been baffled as to what
happened to New Kildare and System 091.  Being able to take an
explanation home with us will be amazing.  Maybe we even can find a
way to reverse whatever happened and get you home too."  Janeway's
eyes took on a far away look.

"How long is it until you reach home?"

The Captain came back to her.  "It could be a few dozen years yet or
it might be a few weeks.  It's complicated, but we had visitors from
the Alpha Quadrant a couple of weeks ago.  They have a way to open an
artificial wormhole of sorts called a Gopher Hole.  With their ships
powered by yatelite crystals instead of dilithium they're able to open
this Gopher Hole and travel anywhere."

"Why didn't they take you home with them?"

"It's a long story.  They didn't come here for us really, but more for
my Conn Officer.  Former Conn Officer."

"So they took your Conn Officer and not all of you?  That's hardly
fair."

Kathryn began clearing the table.  "They didn't take Tom.  He left of
his accord three days ago."

"Left?  As in decided he didn't want to be here anymore?  Why would he
do that?"

Kathryn found herself telling her guest everything that had happened
with Tom from the moment she first met his father and seen Tom's
picture on the Admiral's wall to their first meeting in the New
Zealand prison to Tom's leaving only days ago.  When she was finished,
she slumped into a chair, all energies spent

"You were very close to this Tom Paris."

The grey eyes dropped to the floor.  "I thought I was."

"Did you want him to leave?"

"No!"

"Then you would have stopped him if you could have?"

"Of course.  I tried to.  When I read his resignation, I tried to hail
him, but he was gone.  Our sensors couldn't find him.  Sunfire's
undetectable."

"If you know where he would be headed and you say you never wanted him
to go, why aren't you there at New Rachar now?"

"The Gherop came after us and we had to lose them.  But once we did,
we lost the engines and spent days repairing them."

"And once the engines were fixed?"

"It was only a couple of hours ago."

"And?"

"And we picked up your SOS and we came to get you."

"But if you hadn't picked up my signal?  Not that I'm not grateful you
did, but if you had not where would you be right now?"

Quietly, she related B'Elanna's request they go to New Rachar.

"And how did you plan to answer her?" Maire asked equally softly.

Sighing, the Captain told her.

---

Geron had delayed his lunch as long as he could without those working
along side him making any remarks.  He was not sure if they had seen
him checking the Computer for the Captain's location or not.  He had
tapped out the request and received a text message in response instead
of verbally doing it.  There would have been no end of the strange
looks had the others overheard the Computer's response to his
question.  However, he had to go now if he wanted to keep his plans a
secret.  The computer said Janeway was in her quarters.  That was the
perfect location for a private meeting.  Her Ready Room would have
been too conspicuous, everyone on the Bridge seeing him going in, but
with the officers who had their quarters on her deck all on duty or
asleep, no one would notice him going in there.

He entered the turbolift and stopped dead.

"Tem!" Megan half-smiled and drew him into the lift with her.  "I was
just coming to see you.  Have you heard Janeway's turned down our
request?"

"Yes.  Lieutenant Torres just told me."

She leaned into him, burying her face in his neck.  "What are we going
to do?"

"I-"

"Please state destination," the Computer requested in her monotone.

Megan automatically gave her deck and section number and Geron found
himself, not on his way to see the Captain, but going to Megan's
quarters to console her.

---

"How did you do it?" Chakotay asked in a stunned whisper the moment he 
and their guest were out of the Captain's quarters.  "She actually was 
smiling.  Okay, it wasn't a huge smile, but it was a smile just the 
same.  She hasn't done that in weeks."

Maire shrugged.  When the First Officer had dropped in to check on
Janeway and their guest, he had been surprised to find Kathryn and the
New Kildarean talking like old friends.  Had Tuvok not come to see the
Captain on a private matter, the two women still would be at it.
Chakotay had been asked to show Maire to her temporary quarters while
the Captain and Security Chief talked.

"My brother says I should have been a counsellor or a bartender
instead of an engineer.  I've always had the knack for getting people
to open up and talk."

At the door to the guest quarters, the Commander stopped dead. 
"Counsellor?"

"Yes."

He gestured her inside and sat her at the dining table.  Taking a seat
next to her, he rested his forearms on the glass tabletop.  "Voyager
doesn't have a counsellor.  The story is Command didn't think she
needed one since she only was going to be out for a few weeks."

"Searching for Mr. Tuvok.  The Captain told me."

"Well, we really need one."

"You will be getting home soon though, if this Gopher Hole works. 
Then you'll get all the counsellors you could ever want."

"But if this doesn't work, we won't."

"That would be unfortunate."

"How are you at holoprogramming?"

"So-so.  Other than when I'm running a simulation of one of my designs
or consulting on someone else's, I don't spend much time in the
holofacilities on New Kildare.  Why?"

Disappointed, he sighed.  "I can't make heads or tails of the
psychology texts in our database so I've thought about creating a
holographic counsellor along the lines of the Doctor."

"That would be a good idea.  If no one on the crew wants the job, then
your ECH would be the next best option if you don't make it to the
Alpha Quadrant."

"Would you help me?"  He explained what he had discovered was going to
be a mind-boggling task of designing the ECH.  "I still have to find
someone to do the holoprogramming, but would you be willing to
assist?"

"I don't know what I can do, but I'll try.  We won't reach New Kildare
until late tomorrow so I certainly have the time to kill."

He smiled gratefully.  "You worked wonders with the Captain.  If only
we could somehow channel into the ECH whatever you did with her, this
thing will turn out even better than I'd hoped.  It's going to need a
lot of work to make it realistic.  If we can't make it as real as the
Doctor is, we might as well have them talk to the computer."

She nodded.

"So, you want to start now?"

"Might as well."

Chakotay dragged a chair over to the desk, gesturing for her to sit in
it, and he assumed the one that already was there.  His attention
immediately focused on the computer so he did not see Maire give him
an appraising look.

"Commander, may I ask you a question," she requested, her face
clearing into an innocent look.

"Of course."

"The Captain spoke of a Tom Paris who recently had left the ship.  She
said his departure was rather abrupt and unexpected.  Did you see it
that way?"

He thought for a long moment.  "I guess it was unexpected in a way,
but with Paris you never know what he's going to do."

"You sound like you don't feel too kindly towards him."

For almost five minutes, he went into minute detail of all the
grievances he had against Tom Paris.  The alcoholic and arrogant
wiseass he had taken into the Maquis against his better judgement
because they desperately needed a pilot.  The finding out only weeks
ago that his need of a new pilot had been orchestrated by The
Protectors so Paris could get into the Maquis to contact one of their
own who was inexplicably incommunicado.  His apparent betrayal of the
Maquis when he was captured by Starfleet.  Chakotay's shock at finding
the traitor here on Voyager and worse yet, that he was betraying them
for certain this time in helping Janeway find his "former friends" in
the Maquis.  The rocky road since the two crews had been forced to
become one.  Then this latest bombshell that had changed everything
forever.

"It sounds like you've never liked the man."

Chakotay returned his attention to the ECH file.

"But that's not exactly correct is it?  You did like him once, didn't
you?"

"It was all an illusion," he said, not knowing he was echoing Tom's
words to Maaike and Stephane.  "None of it was real.  He wasn't what
he appeared to be."

"And what did he appear to be?"

"He made us think he was this... reckless hotshot who really was some
kind of hero wannabe."

"Wannabe?"

"Okay, so there were times that he *was* a hero, but..."

"But what?  He didn't really do the things everyone thought him a hero
for doing?"

"He did them, yes, but there's nothing heroic about a mass murderer."

"From what the Captain said, that was not his choice.  The Protectors
made him do all that."

"Okay, yes-"

"Was he still killing people here?  Away from his controllers?"

"No-"

"So I don't understand.  He did do the heroic things everyone thought
he was doing.  He did do horrible things in the past only they weren't
his choice.  How was he not worthy of being deemed heroic or liked?"

"He just isn't."

"Commander, you will have to excuse me, but you're not making sense "

"He hurt B'Elanna."

She gasped.  "He was physically abusive to this person?"

"No.  He never hit her.  If he had, it might have been easier.  She
would have killed him and we wouldn't have this problem."

"What problem?"

"Paris left her this note," he blurted out.  "He'd somehow got it into
his head she and our Ops Officer were having an affair supposedly that
was why he left."

"And they're not?"

"No.  Life would be so much easier if they were, but they're just
friends.  But since Paris thinks they are involved, he's taken off,
leaving behind this sob story of a farewell note to B'Elanna saying
how he's leaving so it's easier for all of them.  So now, she more
sure than ever that he never really wanted to leave, that it was her
fault that he left, and she wants us to go after him so she can plead
with him to come back."

"And you don't agreed with this idea."

"No, I don't.  Sure, he might have been upset to find out his best
friend and lover were going at it behind his back, but he really left
because he didn't get what he wanted plain and simple.  He wanted the
Captain to ignore the Prime Directive and she wouldn't.  This
contention of B'Elanna's that it's all her fault he left...."

"You think misplaced guilt is the reason she wanted Voyager to go
after him?  You don't think it might be love?  That she misses him now
that he's gone and wants him back?"

"She'll get over him.  He never was any good for her in the first
place and now that we know the truth about him, she has proof.  Once
things have calmed down -- *she* has calmed down, she'll see this is
what's best for her and everyone."

"Are you so sure you know what's best for her, Commander?"

"A mass murderer who's had his head messed with since he was a baby
hardly can be considered good for anyone by any set of standards, so,
yes, I am sure I know what's best for her."

"What about love, Commander?"

"What about it?"

"Do you think they love each other?"

He shifted uncomfortably in his chair.  "I know she *thinks* she loves
him.  And he claimed to love her, but who knows if he's even capable
of love.  After what The Protectors did to him to make him into this
super- assassin... they couldn't have left much, if any, human
compassion or feeling in him."

"And yet you say he has done heroic things.  I would think compassion
and feeling would be vital to doing anything like that."

He closed down the file.  "I think this was a mistake."

She leaned back in her chair.  "Before someone can become a
psychiatrist or counsellor they have to submit to a full exploration
of their own psyche.  You want to create a counsellor, Commander.  You
maybe one step removed from being an actual mental health care
professional, but *your* psyche still must be examined."

"How do you figure that?"

"You say you want to be careful in the creation of this ECH of yours.
You want to find the right gender and species and appearance, but
those are only window dressing."

"Of course, it's what you put into it that's the truly important
part-"

"Yes, but there has to be more to the ECH than just the psychology
database.  You said it yourself.  If you don't make this hologram as
lifelike as possible, you might as well be talking to the ship's
computer.  But the programmer's own personal biases and feelings play
a larger role in the end product than you'd think.  You seem to have a
hatred of Tom Paris.  You think he was bad for this B'Elanna.  She
logically will be one of the people in need of this ECH's services.
Yet if you are the one who is contributing to this counsellor's
creation, your own unresolved feelings regarding this man will creep
in, whether you know it or not.  That will effect how it treats
B'Elanna and anyone else who needs to vent their feelings about Tom
Paris."

"Look, I know how I feel about Paris.  There's nothing unresolved
here.  Paris lied to us.  He never told us what he was when he found
out."

"Do you think he could have confessed his past and had any of you
understand what he himself still is trying to understand and accept?
No, you would have done just as you did and shrank from him, rejected
him because of what he had done.  You would have heard the confession
about the crimes, but not about the motivation for the commission of
those crimes."

"If he had told us when he first found out, we would not have been
taken in by The Diogenes.  We would have recognized it as a trick and
been prepared."

"From what the Captain told me of that ship, it outclassed Voyager in
size, firepower, and crew compliment.  What good would knowing have
done?  They still would have taken Mr. Paris and done whatever to him.
And if you could have run from them or fought them off, you would not
now have the plans for this Gopher Hole of theirs."

"But B'Elanna wouldn't have been used by Raven."

"You're right, she would not have suffered in that way, but I do not
see how Mr. Paris can be blamed for someone else's doings."

"Raven went after B'Elanna to get at Paris."

"And Mr. Paris could have stopped him?  Stopped Raven's hatred of him?
His vendetta against him?"

Chakotay did not answer.

"You need to think about why you have your own vendetta against Mr.
Paris, Commander.  Think about why you hate him so much and ask
yourself if it is justified.  When you have answers to those
questions, then and only then should you even think about starting
work on this ECH of yours."  She stood.  "Leave me your research and I
will take a look at it later.  Right now, I think I'd like to check
out your ship. I will see you at the staff meeting, Commander.  Good
afternoon."  She walked out leaving an angry and confused man behind
her.

---

"Tuvok, the arguments detailed are logical, yes," the Captain
conceded.

"Yet you are going to disregard them," he declared with total
certainty.

Rising from her chair, she wandered over to the replicator for a cup
of coffee.  "And out of curiosity, what makes you say that?"

"I have known you for many years, Captain," he replied her back.  "I
believe I can predict your decisions with a reasonable degree of
accuracy merely by your body language and tone of voice."

She strolled over to the windows, her cup cradled in her hands. 
"You're saying I am predictable."

"To someone who has known you for sometime as I have, yes.  However
had someone posed this scenario to me and asked my opinion on what you
would do, I would have said you would have immediately ordered Voyager
after him."

"You think I would have ignored Maire's SOS?"

"No, it is not in your character to ignore pleas for assistance,
especially not when the one making the plea is in the situation Ms.
Molloy was.  But when you ordered the Helm to respond to that distress
call, I would have expected you to have assured Lieutenant Torres we
would search for Mr. Paris after we did, not tell her you would take
her request and rationale 'under advisement.'  Has your opinion of Mr.
Paris undergone such a radical about face that you no longer care
about him or his welfare?  Or about what is best for this ship or its
crew?"

She shot him a glance.  "Is that how you see it?"

"Yes, Captain, I do.  Mr. Paris was not mentally or emotionally in a
fit state to make such a life altering decision as this."

"That is mere speculation, Tuvok."

"Mr. Paris had just spent days alone on a planet thinking we had
abandoned him and was identifying with downtrodden natives.  A version
of Stockholm Syndrome as it were."

"Stockholm Syndrome is identification with one's captors to the point
of joining them in their efforts."

"He had just come out of surgery," he continued, "only to discover
these people with whom he was identifying had been rejected by you and
had left.  There was no form of adequate closure to the Rachar
situation for him."

"So you're saying what?  Now that he has had a few days with them we
should just run off after him and tell him to come home like a good
little boy?"

"Ask him to, yes."

"And what if he says 'no?'  What if he tells us to get lost?"

"Then he tells us that."  He moved closer to her and raised an eyebrow
at her.  "This is not like you, Captain."

"What do you mean?"

"Your moodiness.  Your withdrawing to your Ready Room and hiding.  I
do not understand.  Given your reaction after you thought Mr. Paris
had been killed in the cave-in, I would have thought you would have
been the one spearheading the pursuit of him.  But that is not the
case. Your laissez-faire reaction towards Mr. Paris is out of
character for you."

Evading his gaze, she walked away.  "Perhaps I think it was his
decision to leave and I'm trying to respect it."

Turning, he watched her straighten things.  "No, I do not believe that
is the case here.  I think you finally have moved beyond the guilt and
self-recriminations and now are feeling betrayed because he left.  Or
it could just be Commander Chakotay has been campaigning for
abandoning Mr. Paris for long enough you have subconsciously decided
it would be easier to stop resisting and listen to him.  You think you
can just let him guide you in this so you do not have to sort out your
feelings about Mr. Paris.  You will not have to take responsibility
for what truly are your mistakes in this and what are not though you
are assuming them anyway.  Without Mr. Paris here as a visual
reminder, you can shove everything to the back of your mind and
declare it dealt with."  He shook his head.  "That is avoidance,
Captain, not dealing with it.  Avoidance is dangerous to your mental
health.  You know that first hand."

Her eyes jumped to his.

"When your father and first fiancé died in that accident, you felt
survivor's guilt because of it.  You spent a very long time hiding in
yourself and your room until you were dragged out into life again.
That is how you termed what your sister did for you, isn't it?"

She nodded shortly.

"Then consider me standing in for her."

Kathryn broke eye contact.

---

Maire received many stares as she walked down the corridors of 
Voyager.  It was quite understandable. They didn't get many visitors 
and if they did, they always were escorted by someone, not permitted 
to wander about the ship alone. But Maire was alone and did not do 
anymore than smile and nod to anyone she saw.  She had a mission to 
undertake and time was wasting.

There were looks of surprise at her entry into Engineering.  Those on
Deck Eleven had heard of their guest, but they had not expected to see
her in their domain.  Yet there she was, looking admiringly at
everything as she approached the Chief at the warp core.

"You must be B'Elanna Torres, the Chief Engineer," Maire guessed,
holding out her hand to her.

Reluctantly, B'Elanna shook the hand.  "Yes?"

"Just the person I wanted to see then."  She pulled a padd out of the
thigh pocket of her trousers and passed it to the half-Klingon.  "The
Captain suggested I talk with you regarding the Dublin."

"Your shuttle was destroyed," B'Elanna pointed out, looking at the
padd.

"True, but I need to know why I had problems in the first place.  If I
can figure out what went wrong with my design then I won't be in such
hot water when I get back home."  She leaned closer.  "Bureaucrats.
You lose one shuttle and you'd think you blew up the planet or
something."

B'Elanna tried to hand the padd back to its owner.  "We are really
busy right now."

Maire did not accept its return.  "Ah yes, the Gopher Hole
modifications."

"Amongst other things, yes."

"Well, perhaps we can effect a trade."  She held up her hands.  "An
extra set of hands for a second opinion?  I am an engineer myself."

She thought about it for a moment then the hand with the padd lowered
to her side.  "Fine.  Let's go to my office."

Half an hour later they still were in the office.  Interest in the New
Kildarean improvements to their shuttles' design and Maire's own
calming personality had caused B'Elanna to forget her hostility
towards the woman.  They had progressed from trying to figure out the
Dublin's problem to reviewing Voyager's alteration plans.

"I don't see any other way around it, B'Elanna," Maire finally sighed. 
"Voyager has to either find a friendly dry-dock or set down on some
out-of-the-way planet somewhere.  Once you start making these changes
you're going to want to be somewhere completely secure.  You'll be
sitting ducks if these Gherop the Captain told me about come along
while you're in the middle of this."

"Unfortunately we haven't seen anything remotely like a dry-dock or
even a space station in the passed couple months and as far as we can
tell the Gherop are everywhere in this area.  So there's no place we
can go without them hearing of it and coming after us."

Maire flipped her wild, black curls out of her face.  "You know there
is one place you can go and they won't find you.  In fact you'll be
there tomorrow."

"New Kildare?"

"Exactly.  Where I work, the O'Connor Propulsion Research Facility, we
have an area large enough for Voyager to land with room to spare.
Well, we'll have to move the shuttles that are there to other fields,
but there will be room.  And if she's there, then our staff can help
out yours and our facilities will be available to you."

Sitting back in her chair, B'Elanna thought about it.

"It's all contingent on the approval of the Board of Directors and of
your Captain's of course, but I doubt they'll say no."

"I'm sure," the Chief mumbled, deep in thought.

"What is it?  I thought you would be pleased."

B'Elanna surfaced from her thoughts and began straightening her desk. 
"Of course.  Your suggestion would make a lot of sense."

"But..."

"But nothing.  It makes a lot of sense."

Through narrowed eyes, Maire watched her.  "But it would mean you
would be stuck on New Kildare for some time and not be able to go look
for your mate or whatever this Tom Paris is."

Her eyes grew wide and her hands stilled.  "How..."

"I had a very long talk with the Captain and Commander Chakotay.  Both
told me about Mr. Paris' leaving and your desire to go after him. 
Were they correct?  Do you want him back?"

"That is my business."

"Yes, but Voyager going to New Kildare means a delay."

"I don't want to discuss this," she insisted getting up from her desk. 
"Anyway, there's a staff meeting we have to attend."

Following the half-Klingon out of Engineering, Maire sighed to
herself.  'That hardly went well,' she thought to herself.  'Ah, well,
there's still time.'

---

'How was he supposed to argue with a ship?' Tom complained to himself. 
'So he hadn't slept in sometime.  So what?  That hardly justified her
beaming him out of Sickbay where he'd been intently studying Gherop
physiology and into his quarters with the orders to rest.  He wasn't
tired.  Why couldn't she understand that?'

She could keep him there until he did as she told him too.  Especially
after what he had just called her.  Outside of a holodeck programme,
he had never dared call a woman a "pushy broad," though he had always
had kind of liked the sound of in a male chauvinistic throwback to the
1940s sort of way.  Right now, saying it to her, it had seemed
apropos.

He prowled about his quarters, wondering how long it would be before
she realized he was not going to go to bed like a good little boy and
gas him or something.  She was perfectly capable of doing it too, and
knowing her she just might try it.  He was a captive audience for her.
She could do whatever she wanted to him and he was powerless to stop
her.  There were times he really hated the fact she was who and what
she was.  With an organic female who did not know him as well as she
did, he might have been able to lay on the charm and get his way.  The
powers of the flesh were overpowering if used by a master.  But she
was not flesh and she knew all his tricks and would not fall for any
of them.  He was trapped.

Tom sat down on his bunk -- the only piece of furniture she would
allow to appear when he pressed the sensor buttons on control panel
near the door that normally made things like the desk and chair appear
from the wall or floor.  He was not going to do anything but sleep as
far as she was concerned, therefore all he needed was his bunk.

About to get up and pace some more, Tom paused as his eyes fell on
what was mounted on the wall opposite his position.  The simple
drawing Naomi had done for him before the yatelite expedition and had
asked Neelix to deliver to him hung there where he could see it first
thing when he woke in the morning.  'What was Naomi doing right now?'
he wondered.  'Was she safe?  How was she coping with his leaving?  He
missed her so much,' he realized and found himself wishing he could go
back to Voyager.

Then he remembered the reason he had left and how much it would be
hurting B'Elanna, Harry, and himself if he went back.  Everything
would come out then, if it had not already now that he was officially
out of the picture and the way was clear for them to be together. 
There was no reason for them to keep their affair a secret any longer,
even if he did dare go back.  He knew about them and they knew he
knew.  Soon everyone else would know too.  He wondered what the
reactions of the rest of the crew would be when the news of the
now-out-in-the-open couple broke.  Probably a lot of thumbs up for
Harry for having made such a great catch and "it's about times" for
B'Elanna for finally having wised up and discarded that no-good Tom
Paris and picked a real winner like Harry Kim.  No, he thought
massaging his temples where another headache was forming, he really
did not want to be on Voyager after all, not if that was what he was
going to see.

---

Seven was about to abandon her pretence of eating when she saw Harry
enter the Mess Hall, alone, for dinner.  'He was sure to join me at my
table,' she thought.  'All the other tables are full, leaving mine as
the only place where he can seat and eat.  Or at least rearrange his
food on his plate.'

Only things did not work out quite that way.

While her Borg implants in her ears made it possible for her to hear
everything that went on, for most of the confrontation that followed,
they were unnecessary.  When the bombshell hit, the noise level in the
room dropped to zero.

It all started innocuously enough.

"Hello, Ensign Kim, what would you like?" Neelix asked as Harry
approached the serving counter.  "The special?  It's the same as
yesterday since the crew really seemed to like it."

"Whatever," the young man answered.

The Talaxian gave the human a sympathetic look as he plopped a blue-
grey mass on a plate.  "Remember my offer.  I'm here if you want to
talk about anything.  Anything at all."

Harry's sad eyes fell from the well-meaning morale officer's.  "I
don't think so."

"It might help."

"Nothing can help."

"I-Lieutenant Torres," he greeted the woman rushing into the room and
making a beeline for them.  He reached for an empty plate to fill for
her.  "I guess that talk the EMH had with you about not skipping meals
worked."

"I'm not here for dinner."  She turned back to Harry and grasped his
arm.  "We have to talk.  Now."

Reacting to the urgency in her voice, Harry seemed to come out of
himself a little.  "You get a table then." he suggested, the first
touch of life coming to his voice since he had been returned to
Voyager after escaping the Gherop prison.

"Not here.  My quarters or yours."

"But...."

"Bring you food with you then- Ouch!"  She looked down to see Naomi
Wildman pounding her with her little fists.

"Get away from him!" the child yelled

"Naomi!" Sam shouted.  "Naomi, stop!"

"No!"  The little girl took another swipe at the confused lieutenant
as her mother tried to pull her away.  "They did this!"

"Did what, Naomi?" Neelix asked, rounding the counter.

"They're the reason Tommy left!"

"Naomi," her mother calmly began, kneeling down beside her, "Tom left
because he felt the Rachar needed him."

"No!  He left because he found out they were having an affair!"

Confused, Sam looked from her daughter's angry expression to the
suddenly pale faces of Harry and B'Elanna.  "What?  Naomi, where'd you
ever get such an idea?  Lieutenant Torres and Ensign Kim are good
friends.  You don't even know what an 'affair' is."

"Yes, I do," she insisted to her mother.  "I heard the Doctor and
Seven talking about Crewman Zel and Ensign Dore having an affair and
asked what it meant and they told me."  She rounded on the accused
once more.  "And Crewman Ver told Crewman Geron that Tommy left her a
message saying he knew they-" She stuck a finger at Harry and
B'Elanna-  "Were having an affair and after Crewman Ver left, Crewman
Geron admitted it telling Tommy about it."

"He told you this?"

"No, he was talking to himself.  He said he told Tommy what Lieutenant
Jenny Delaney and Ensign Nozawa saw them-" She pointed an accusing
finger at Harry and B'Elanna. "-Doing on Dartin VIII and he wanted to
hurt Tommy because Megan still loves him, but he didn't want him to
leave the ship and maybe get killed."  Her voice doubled in volume
along with the emotions filling it.  "He thinks it will be his fault
if Tommy dies, but it's not!  It's theirs!"

Before her mother or godfather could make a grab for her, Naomi fled
the room, leaving a shocked silence behind her.

"I..." Sam tried to say.

"She's just a little girl," Neelix explained for her.  "She clearly
didn't understand what she heard.  And who knows what that was."

Slowly, B'Elanna walked out of the Mess Hall doors opposite to the
ones Naomi had used.

Harry meanwhile looked at Jenny Delaney who was seated at a table
across the room with her latest conquest and watching the scene before
them.  In a move typical of her, she shrugged and looked at him with
an expression that said she was accepting none of the blame for this
one then returned her attentions to her companion.  Harry, too, then
turned and followed B'Elanna out of the room without his dinner or a
word.

The whispering started before the Mess Hall doors were completely
shut.  Those who had been present for the breakfast during which
B'Elanna had yelled at Chakotay that Tom Paris' leaving was her fault,
reminded their dinner companions of this.  Debates began as to how
long this affair had been going on.  No one debated whether or not
what Naomi said was true.  The fact neither Kim nor Torres had denied
it was proof enough.

Even if she had had a companion of her own with whom to debate, Seven
could not have, she was so swamped with unfamiliar emotions.  She felt
ill, but did not think it was from Mr. Neelix's spicy meal for once.
Her head swam, but there were no stimuli to provoke such a response.
She wanted to deny what she had just seen and heard, but her brain
told her she had.  She wished to run and hide, but she could not
command her body to move.

---

Off at a table across the Mess Hall from Seven sat Maire with Baytart,
Nicoletti, and Ashmore.  Though she already knew Tom's version of
events, she still was somewhat stunned to hear the little girl
blurting them out.  'Things just got more complicated,' she moaned
inwardly.

---

U'Pde traced his late brother's U'Pti's features in the image.  It had
been taken almost a season ago.  The two of them had just returned to
the home they shared on Rachar.  They had been at a ceremony where
U'Pti had been decorated by E'Arte for his actions that had captured
an entire Verta cell, crippling the Rachar resistance movement in that
area.  E'Arte rarely gave out any sort of praise to the soldiers,
preferring instead to take all the glory for himself.  But U'Pti's
success had been an exceptional one and E'Arte had been showing off
his soldiers for a visiting official so U'Pti had received the credit
due him.

Now he was gone.  The glorious career ahead of him was over.  The only
family U'Pde had left was gone.  U'Pti had been more than a brother.
He had been his best friend, his confidant, his constant support, and
his other half and now he was dead.  All because of Voyager and
Sunfire.

As with all other Gherop, it never occurred to him to blame T'Do who
actually merited the blame for what had happened at Rachar.  They all
saw what their former Leader had done as necessary to preserve their
way of life.  It was something that had been done successfully
numerous times before and would be done again the next time slaves
became unruly and everyone needed a reminder of who were the masters
here.

Only thanks to Voyager and Sunfire the reminder had gone wrong.  Other
slaves were hearing of the Rachar slaves and how they had been a part
of killing the Gherop Leader.  From what they had heard over the
classified channels, rebellions were springing up on worlds that
always had been meek followers of the Gherop dictates.  On worlds
where rebellions already had been under way, new hope had been brought
to them.  It did not seem to matter to them that the Rachar were dead
now, hunted down by U'Pde and his crew.  The fact they had struck the
blow they had and escaped gave them renewed hope they too could rid
themselves of the Gherop yet do so without losing their lives in the
process.

"Voyager has a lot to pay for," he told the image, "and they are going
to when I find them.  I swear they will."

---

"Boy, did you miss quite the supper, sis," grinned Jenny as she walked 
into the lab where her sister poured over notes she was making on a 
padd.

"Not now, Jenny.  I have to get this finished."

"Trust me, this is *far* more important than whatever you're doing."

"Can't be.  Now, go find something else to do.  Don't you have a date
tonight?"

"Had to go fill in for someone who was sick."  She perched in the
chair at the station next to her sister's.  "Don't you want to hear
about Torres finally getting her comeuppance?  At the hands of that
Wildman brat no less."

"Jenny, what *are* you prattling on about?"

Now that she had her twin's full attention, she feigned nonchalance. 
"Oh, you said you were too busy to listen."

"Jennifer Delaney!"

She grinned and leaned forward eagerly.  "All right, everyone was in
the Mess Hall for supper.  A repeat of that only mildly disgusting
glop Neelix made last night."

"Jenny."

"Okay, everyone's eating and talking when all of a sudden that Wildman
kid runs in and starts screaming at Torres and beating on her."

"Why?  Naomi's not like that.  She's always been an even-tempered
kid."

Her twin grinned broadly.  "Because she heard Geron and Ver Faran
talking about why Tom Paris really left Voyager."

"Tom left because of the Rachar and the Captain refusing-"

"No," she denied shaking her head.  "He left because he found out
Torres and Harry Kim had been having an affair."

"What?  Jenny, has the Doctor checked out whatever Neelix made for
supper?  It seems to be having delusional side effects on your brain."

"I'm just telling you what the kid said.  Ver told Geron Paris left
because he knew his best friends were fooling around behind his back,
and Geron admitted he was the one who had told Paris about Torres and
Kim in the first place."

"Listen to me, you addled brained twit, and listen well."  Her voice
had dropped to the menacing level she used only during those times she
wished she were an only child.  "Torres and Kim are not, repeat are
not having an affair."

"And what about what Nozawa and I saw months ago?  Hmm?"

"You said you saw them kiss each other.  That's a long way from having
an affair.  Think of the number of men you've kissed.  Have you had an
affair with all of them?"  Megan answered for her.  "No, you have not.
Made a great stab at it, but haven't managed it.  So how did Tem make
the leap from what you two said to what he supposedly told Tom?"

"Look, I don't know where he got his information.  All I know is what
the kid said he and Ver said.  That's it."

"Why would Tem do this?  Why would he say this?  He clearly was making
the affair part up.  There've been no signs of those two carrying on
behind Tom's back."

"The kid said Geron told Paris because he wanted to hurt him because
*you* were in love with him."

Megan did not give her sibling the guilty reaction she was hoping for.
Instead she frowned in confusion.  "That doesn't make sense.  What
does Tom have to do with my loving Tem?"

Jenny understood the lack of expected reaction and groaned.  "Geron
knows you're in love with *Tom*, you idiot."

"What?  I love Tom, but I'm not *in* love with Tom.  Tem knows that."

"Apparently not, because he felt so threatened by Paris he lashed out
at him and did this."

"That's ridiculous."

"Whatever," she said, relaxing back into her chair.  "I'm just telling
you what you missed."

"Once I finish this last calculation, I'm going to get to the bottom
of this," she insisted.  "As for you, get lost and stop spreading this
stupid rumour," the older twin ordered.  "There's just no substance to
it."

"But-"

"I said no.  Now go!"

Jenny glared at her sister's down bent head then flounced out of the
lab.

---

Sam sat next to her daughter on the child's bed.  Her little girl was
lying face down, sobbing her heart out into her pillow.  Gently, she
placed a hand on the little back, trying to be comforting only to have
Naomi shrink away from her touch and roll off of the bed and to her
feet.

"Go away!" she demanded through her tears.

"No," Sam refused, shaking her head.  "This is why you've been so
upset lately, isn't it?  You knew about this and were keeping it all
inside instead of telling me?  This is why you said Lieutenant Torres
really didn't want Lieutenant Paris back?"

She nodded angrily.  "They made Tommy leave.  They hurt him and he had
to go."

"Naomi, I don't know them very well, but I don't think they'd do
something like have an affair behind Lieutenant Paris' back.  That's
just not right and they know that."

"But they did!  Crewmen Geron and Ver said so."

"Naomi, there's an Earth expression -- getting it straight from the
horse's mouth."

"Tommy uses it.  It means going to the source for the information."

"Exactly.  In this case, Lieutenant Torres and Ensign Kim, not Crewmen
Geron or Ver.  Only the people involved would know what really is
going on, not two people who aren't even friends of theirs."

"They still made Tommy go," she insisted stubbornly.

"Why he left we don't know for sure other than what he told you, but
when we are finished at New Kildare, then hopefully we'll be going to
New Rachar to find him and find out.  Until then, we won't know."

"Why aren't we going now?"

"We have to get the woman we rescued from that shuttle back to her
people and she's offered her help in fixing the ship.  You remember I
told you we have to do some things to Voyager so we can try to get
home?"

"The Gopher Hole stuff."

"Yes.  The woman we picked up works at a place where they design ships
and she says they'll probably help us fix up Voyager."

"But why can't be go see Tommy now!"

"Because the Captain wants us to do this."

"Then we'll go get Tommy?"

Not wanting to get Naomi's hopes up only to have them dashed again,
Sam told her daughter the truth.  "I don't know that for sure, honey,
but I think we will if Lieutenant Torres and the others have their
way."

"But we still might not?"

"Yes."

Before she could stop her, Naomi shot out of their quarters.

Exhausted, Sam collapsed on the bed.  'I'm too old for this,' she
sighed in the parent's age old lament over their irrational offspring.

---

After five minutes spent pacing his quarters, trying to make sense of
everything, Harry gave up and decided to head for B'Elanna's in the
hopes she could explain it.  As he walked down the corridor to the
turbolift, he feel those he passed, turning to stare at his back and
whisper to one another, signifying the ship's grapevine quickly was
passing the word.  He ignored all of them, keeping his eyes front and
chin up just as they had taught him at the Academy.  That became
difficult, however when he stepped into the turbolift, gave a nod to
the two crewmen who already occupied it, then turned his back on them
and called out B'Elanna's Deck and Section number.  While his eyes
remained on the doors during the trip, he could sense the men give
each other smirks behind his back.

"Way to go, Kim," one of them congratulated.

"Yeah," the other agreed.  "Didn't think you had it in you."

Confused, the ensign stared at each on in turn.  "What are you two
talking about?"

"Bagging Torres.  Quite a feat."

The first one nodded.  "Especially under Paris' nose.  That takes guts
and skill.  Frankly, none of us ever thought you were much of a
ladiesman, kid, but to steal the lover of *the* undisputed ladiesman
on the ship, that's something."

"Yeah, but on behalf of those of us on the ship who really don't want
to part with our girlfriends, stick with Torres, will you, and don't
go after ours?"

What happened next caught Harry more unawares than it did the crewmen.
Unable to take another moment of the undeserved "congratulations,"
Harry whirled on the two men and decked them before they knew what had
hit them.  They fell to the floor of the turbolift and sprawled there,
dazed, just as the doors opened.  Had the person on the other side,
waiting to enter the lift, been anyone other than Tuvok, the incident
might have been ignored.  But it was him and Harry squared his
shoulders, ready to face whatever disciplinary action coming to him.

---

"I thought I'd find you here."

Seven ignored the EMH's entrance into Astrometrics.

"I just heard a rumour that I think might be important."

He stopped at her side and watched her.  Typically the former Borg
displayed her own version of the Paris mask or the Vulcan non-
expression expression.  Unless someone knew her well, they did not see
the minute changes in her face that occurred whenever she was upset or
angry.  They were there now.

"And I think you've already heard it though."

"If you are talking about Naomi's announcement in the Mess Hall at
dinner, then yes, I have heard.  First hand.  I was there."

"I don't understand it.  The two of them just doesn't make sense."

"Doctor, I am busy right now.  I do not have time to gossip."

He glanced at the "important work" she was doing.  "Yes, that's so
vital."

Turning towards him, she glared at him full force.  "Doctor, I have no
desire to discuss this matter.  Please leave."

"Seven, you're upset and need to talk."

She stalked off across the room to another console.

"Whether this is true or not, you need to-"

"Go away!" she insisted harshly, her hands braced against the front
edge of the station.

For once, the EMH backed off when he was told to.  But not without a
final comment.  "I'm going to get truth about this then I'll be back
to talk."

Seven did not relax even after she heard the door close behind him.

She waited in Astrometrics for a long time that night, unconsciously
hoping the hologram would return with good news for her, tell her it
all was a misunderstanding, only he never returned.  Finally, she
asked the computer for his location and found it to be Sickbay.  She
leapt to the conclusion he had received confirmation of the story from
Lieutenant Torres and was too stunned to face her so she finished her
work then headed to her alcove for regeneration.

---

Even though she had already known she was to blame for Tom's leaving, 
B'Elanna still was hit hard by Naomi's accusations.  'How could you 
defend yourself against the truth?' she asked herself, curling up in 
the corner of her quarters' couch.  Part of her had wanted to deny 
what Naomi said, to blurt out she and Harry were not having an affair, 
they had only kissed.  Once.  Briefly. Okay, not so briefly.

She had been mad at Tom, mad that thanks to the ill-fated parole test
she now know knew he had no intention of remaining with her after they
reached the Alpha Quadrant.  At the time, she had not known the reason
for it was his fear of The Protectors and what they would do to him if
they caught him.  All she had known was he had lied to her when he had
told her he had something to do then he would find her and they would
be together again.  Naturally, she had assumed he meant in this
lifetime, not the next, for he meant to kill himself so The Protectors
would not know he had been Awake and might have let something slip
about the AlphaOmegans.

So, the morning Harry had asked her go on shoreleave with him, and
Chakotay had assured her assent by ordering her to go she had not been
in the best of moods.  Throughout their time on the planet, Harry had
done his best to ensure she had had a good time.  They toured the
museums and the market place.  She almost had been willing to have a
good time until they had seen a couple who reminded her of herself and
Tom in happier times.  The fragile good mood he had been easing her
into had been shattered. Though they had taken their picnic lunch to a
beautiful park where she could soak up the sunshine, she had not
enjoyed it.

Then Harry had started to lose his temper.  He had gone on about how
frustrating she and Tom were and how she needed to talk to Tom because
she was taking her anger out on her staff, not Tom who might or might
not be the more deserving target.  Harry had nagged at her about
reading Chakotay's complete report of the parole test, especially the
letter Tom had given the Commander to be passed on to her only after
they were safely away from Voyager.  That was when things had begun to
go horribly wrong.

She had made an innocent joke about why could she not have fallen for
someone like Harry, instead of someone like the high-strung,
secretive, and emotional Tom?  Harry had grinned and told her why Tom
was her perfect match and she ultimately had agreed to see Tuvok about
gaining access to the parole test files so she could see the truth for
herself.  With that decision made, she had smiled for the first time
in days and done something she now saw as probably the stupidest thing
she ever had done in her life -- she gave in to impulse and kissed
Harry out of gratitude.  Only it had not stayed a chaste peck on the
lips. Lips had parted.  Tongues had become involved.

"And that mistake had been seen by the biggest gossip on the ship and
her then lover," she groaned to herself.  "But why is it coming out
just now?  She's never really liked me.  Doubtful she'd give up the
chance of spreading something this juicy about me."

The door chimed and she buried her face in the couch back.  She could
almost guess who it would be and she really did not want to face him
right now.

He, of course, had other ideas.  Without waiting for permission that
he had guessed was not coming, Harry walked in and stopped half way
between her and the door.  "That was what you wanted to talk to me
about, wasn't it?" he asked sadly.  "That we had been seen that day
and Geron had told Tom?"

She was silent for a moment then lifted her head, but did not look at
him.  "I didn't know about that," she sighed.  B'Elanna rose from the
couch and went to her desk.  Opening a drawer, she withdrew Tom's
padd, stared at it for a long time then held it at arms' length for
him to take.  "When Tom left, he left this for me.  Apparently, he was
in Engineering at some point and I was too tired and too busy to even
realize he was there."  She shook her head.  "I vaguely remember
someone giving me a padd, but not that it was him.  We were so busy
right then.  I didn't even look up to see who it was.  And I certainly
didn't have the time to read it.  If I had...."

Harry scanned the brief message then his shoulders slumped.  "So
thanks to Geron, Tom now thinks we've been madly in love all this time
and denying ourselves because he was in still in the picture and we
didn't want to hurt him?"

She nodded and sat heavily in her desk chair.

"If only I hadn't been sleeping," Harry groaned.  "I would have been
on the Bridge when he left.  I would have seen something strange was
going on and stopped him from going."

In an uncharacteristic display of temper, he threw the padd at the far
wall.  It hit one of the pieces of artwork she had hanging there and
both fell to the deck with a clatter.  "Why the Hell did we listen to
Chakotay and the Captain when they told us not to tell Tom what we'd
done?  That it would only confuse things and hurt him?  If we'd told
him what happened right after it happened or after Tuvok returned to
his own body, this probably wouldn't have happened."

B'Elanna went over to the clutter on the floor to scoop up the padd
and check it for damage.  Even in his anger, Harry was noticed how she
clutched the device to her chest almost like it was a child and his
frustration with their situation dissipated and sadness crept in to
take its place.  If they could not get to Tom or at least contact him,
those heartrending words in his note would be the last she ever would
hear from the man she loved.

Attempting to comfort her, he approached her then reached out to touch
her shoulder, only to have her shy away.  The hand dropped back to his
side.

"So how do we get him back so we can explain?" he asked slowly, re-
hanging her painting.

She carefully returned the padd to its drawer.  "Some of us worked out
a plan.  I presented Janeway with it this morning just before we went
after Maire's shuttle."  She filled him in on what had happened in the
Ready Room and he agreed with her interpretation of Janeway's
intentions.

"So now what?"

"I don't know.  Tuvok's trying to change the Captain's mind."  She
swallowed heavily.  "You know, when I read Tom's message, I couldn't
figure out who'd told him.  I thought there were only four of us who
knew what happened and I ruled out Janeway as the one who told him.
So... so only a couple of hours ago, I actually accused Chakotay of
doing it."

"I wouldn't have put it passed him."

"But I also thought there was a slim chance that maybe it was you."

He blanched.  "Me?  You thought I did this?"

"We'll you were mad at Tom and trying to hurt him.  Telling him this
certainly classified as doing that."

"That's why at lunch Joe was asking me why I volunteered to go to
Rachar after Tom, wasn't it?  He was sounding me out, trying to
determine if I was the one who told Tom?"

She nodded and dropped her eyes.  Now that she had seen Harry's
reaction to all this, she knew he had not done anything of the sort
and was ashamed she ever had suspected him of anything so horrible.

"B'Elanna, I went after him because I wanted to tell him I finally
understood why Souris felt she had to die and how unfair I was being
to him.  I don't exactly *forgive* him, but I do *understand* him. 
When the P'Chi had me convinced I might be dying, I did a lot of
thinking. I realized I didn't want to die hating my best friend.  I
thought about everything and saw I was being unfair to him.  I badly
wanted to tell him that before I died.  Only I wasn't dying and the
next time I saw him, I didn't recognize him because he was disguised
as a Rachar.  Then we thought he was dead.  Then we thought maybe he
wasn't and Tuvok, Neelix, the Doctor, and I went to go find out."

He closed his eyes.  "Then we get to Rachar and find him alive, but
all Hell's breaking loose and we had to abandon so many Rachar and all
the Gherop.  I... Tom was so calm about it all.  It just... It made me
see he really was an AlphaOmegan.  Before then, it was merely a
concept, but after that, it wasn't anymore.  All of us, even Tuvok and
Sunfire I think, were shaken at having to sacrifice so many so some
might live. And the idea of deliberately excluding the Gherop from
being among the saved, even after all they'd done... It was hard for
me to handle and I wasn't the one making the decisions.  Tom was and
it didn't seem to phase him in the least."

"But it did phase you," she whispered.  "That's why you were so
withdrawn.  You couldn't handle the guilt."

Harry nodded.  "Then Tom left before I could come to terms with it all
and talk to him."  He ran his hands through his hair.  "And like him,
everyone else really is getting the wrong end of the stick if they
listen to the version Naomi broadcast in the Mess Hall.  Should we
make some sort of statement telling everyone the truth?  I don't know
if they'll believe it though.  Jenny Delaney certainly won't if the
look on her face after you left the Mess Hall is anything to go by. 
The others might.  To a degree.  *If* we explain right away, we might
be able to prevent their imaginations from getting away from them and
blowing it all even further out of proportion."

Her gaze turned less than friendly.  "What are you suggesting?  A
general announcement over the Comm?  Both of us stand up in the Mess
Hall at breakfast and deny everything?"

"I don't know.  Maybe Neelix could discretely spread the truth.
Usually there isn't anyone on board he doesn't see in the course of
the day.  And he is the best at spreading rumours on the ship."

"And you want him to say what?  None of it's true?  It's all a big
misunderstanding?  Obviously Jenny Delaney and Nozawa can contradict
that."

"Not deny, no.  Well, the *affair* part, yes, but if what really
happened were to become common knowledge...."

The glare she gave him left no doubt as to her opinion on this
subject.

"There's something else you should know.  I would have been here
fifteen minutes ago only I had a run in with two crewman in the
turbolift."  He outlined the confrontation and his response.  And
Tuvok's.

"I can't believe you did that," B'Elanna groaned.  "What did you think
you were doing?"

"I didn't *think* anything."

"Obviously."

"They were *congratulating* me, B'Elanna.  For having *bagged* you,"
he clarified, using their actual terminology.  Harry caught her before
she could storm out and take up where he had left off with the two
crewmen.  "B'Elanna, do you want to end up on report too?  Do you?
Beating them to a pulp won't change their or anyone else's opinion of
what our relationship is.  If anything, it will make things worse.
Does the phrase 'the lady doth protest too much' mean anything to you?
I can almost guarantee it will to the others."

She practically went limp as his words sunk in and he guided her over
to sit in a chair.  He himself sat on the coffee table in front of
her, his hands over hers on her knees.  "What are we going to do,
Harry?" she whispered.

"I don't know, but I do know beating them up will get you put on
report and mean you'll have to listen to Tuvok lecture you on Senior
Officers having to be an example to the juniors at all times."

"You didn't tell him why you did it?"

"No, I left it at it being a personal matter.  The other two were
still unconscious so I don't know what they'll say when they wake up
and he asks them for statements.  I doubt they'll be stupid enough to
admit they were taunting me."

She nodded, tiredly.

"B'Elanna, I know you don't like your privacy being invaded, but you
have to admit, having this false story out there is worse than the
truth.  What happened with them is only going to be the beginning.  It
would be better to tell the truth.  So we kissed each other, so what?"

"The 'so what' is Jenny Delaney and Nozawa saw us and told Geron who
told Tom and now Tom's run off because he believes this garbage!  Who
cares what they think?  It's Tom I'm worried about.  You know how he
gets when he's hurt.  And no one can tell me this would not hurt him
because I know it has."

"I know," he sighed.  "But if we do get him back, he's still going to
be hurt.  Even if we weren't actually having an affair, we still did-"

"We'll have to make it up to him somehow!  But we can't do that until
we get him back."

Harry squeezed her hands.  "We'll get Tom back, B'Elanna.  Somehow,
we'll get him back."

Though she indicated her agreement, inside she did not feel the same
certainty.

The door chimed and unthinkingly, B'Elanna bid whomever it was to
enter while Harry still had his hands on hers.  This contact between
the two friends could be construed one of two ways: the innocent,
supportive gesture it was or the way Megan did when she stepped inside
-- as the precursor to more intimate gestures between lovers.  She
stood there, so angry she could not speak, her hands balled up into
fists at her sides.

"I didn't want to believe what Jenny said," she ultimately spat out. 
"It just didn't make any sense.  But now I see she *was* right for
once."

Hands dropping B'Elanna's, Harry rose and took a step towards Megan. 
"She wasn't right," he declared in an angry voice.  "There's no
affair."

"Right."  Her tone indicated she clearly did not believe them.  She
glared at B'Elanna.  "Are you in love with Harry or Tom or neither?"

"Tom," the other woman confessed.

Her gaze did not soften.

"Megan, you know me," Harry tried.  "Would I do that to Tom?  Would
B'Elanna?"

At length, Tom's mate and their best friend told her everything from
that kiss on shoreleave to the incident in the Mess Hall.  When they
finished, Megan stared at them long and hard then drew out a chair at
the dining table and dropped into it.

"You ever going to do something this stupid again?" she asked the pair

"No," they said in unison.

"Good.  'Cause if you do I'll make your life a living Hell."  She
slumped back in the chair, arms at her sides, head falling back, eyes
closed.  "Damn, this complicates things," she groaned.

Nodding in agreement, the other two joined her in seats at the table.

"Especially when Chakotay finds out about this."  B'Elanna recounted
her many confrontations with the Commander over Tom as of late and
Joe's own report of his with Chakotay only hours ago.  "And you saw
him at the meeting, Harry."

Harry explained for Megan, who naturally had not been at the Senior
Staff meeting.  "He was rather gung ho about Maire Molloy's suggestion
Voyager remain at New Kildare while we complete the work we have to do
on her so we can use the Gopher Hole."

"Because it would mean we would be even farther from New Rachar and
almost all of us behind the request to go there would have to stay
with Voyager to do the work on her."

Megan shook her head.  "I think we should have gone with my first
suggestion and hijacked Voyager."

"That was your second suggestion," B'Elanna corrected, "and it
wouldn't have worked.  Tuvok wouldn't stand for it.  He's insisting we
do this properly.  He's trying to talk Janeway around to our way of
thinking, but that was before the staff meeting and either he hasn't
started yet or it's not working because she was a reserved as ever and
gave her agreement to the idea, provided Maire's people agree.  So
we're stuck going to New Kildare."

"What if we made the sensors say we were going one way when we're
actually going another?  Harry, you're with us now, I take it?"

He nodded.

"Okay, say we tamper with the sensors and have everyone except our
people think we're headed for New Kildare, but in reality were on our
way to New Rachar."

Harry shook his head.  "New Kildare's only a few more hours from here.
New Rachar's a few days.  They'd notice the delay."

"So we have the Doctor gas the Captain and Commander the next time
they're alone together somewhere and claim they're confined to Sickbay
because of some sort of illness they picked up.  Tuvok becomes Captain
in their absence and you First Officer, B'Elanna.  We make up some
story about how, for the safety of the New Kildareans, we can't have
direct contact with anyone from off of the ship for... however many
days it takes to get to New Rachar anyway.  So, since we all might
have what the Captain and Commander have, we should be quarantined,
just in case while it runs it's course.  Since we can't go to New
Kildare in the interim, Tuvok orders Baytart to set course for New
Rachar to get Tom *then* come back to New Kildare.  Simple and
Chakotay and Janeway never have to know it's not true."

"Tuvok would never go for it.  And if Chakotay ever found out... He's
in the mood to come down hard on anyone who even mentions Tom's name.
If he discovered it was all a lie, he'd throw us in the Brig and
forget about us."

"What's his problem, anyway?" Harry asked.  "It's like he'd gladly
space Tom if he could."

The door chimed yet again and B'Elanna rose to answer it.  "I don't
know, but I can tell he's going to love hearing about this mixed up
mess we're in now.  Come."

Tuvok, Carey, and Vorik stood on the other side of the door, having
met up in the corridor moments earlier and mutually decided to get the
real story from the horses' mouths.

"There's no affair, boys," Megan called to them before B'Elanna could
say a word.  "But there may be a mutiny.  Come on in."

As the males did, Tuvok regarded Ensign Kim with an inquiring look. 
"Miss Wildman's accusations are the reason behind your recent
altercation in the turbolift?"

"You fought with Naomi?" Joe gasped.

"That's a somewhat unfair match-up, Mr. Kim," Vorik chimed in.

"Not me and Naomi," Harry grimaced.  "Two crewmen who were insulting
B'Elanna when they thought they were congratulating me on stealing her
from Tom."

"I wish you had explained, Ensign," Tuvok admonished.  "I would not
have been so harsh with you."

Harry nodded and stared at the table.

Everyone else lapsed into thought also.

Megan broke the quiet by returning to B'Elanna's last remark before
the three had joined them.  "You're right, B'Elanna.  Once Chakotay
hears of what Naomi said, he'll repeat every word to the Captain to
undermine us and she'll go along with him."

"Perhaps not," Tuvok countered and told them not the specifics of his
talk with the Captain, but of the fact he had made her think a little
and open up slightly so she might not be so totally under Chakotay's
influence as they were beginning to suspect.

---

Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Share what you know. Learn what
you don't.

"Why won't you go get Tommy?" Naomi shouted at the Captain the moment 
she answered her quarter's door.

Janeway blinked at the unexpected onslaught from the child who
normally was so sweet and respectful to her.  "Naomi?"

The girl stomped inside and crossed her arms over her slight chest,
glaring at the woman.  "You heard me!  I don't want to go to wherever
this lady is from.  I want to go see Tommy!"

Moving forward, the Captain then squatted down next to her.  "Naomi,
you don't understand.  We-"

"No, you don't understand!  He didn't want to go!  Mommy says I
shouldn't listen to what Crewmen Ver and Geron are saying, that they
probably aren't having an affair, but I don't believe her."

Auburn brows nearly disappeared in her hairline.  "Crewmen Ver and
Geron are having an affair?"

"No!  Lieutenant Torres and Ensign Kim.  Mommy says we should ask them
if they are then we'll know for sure if that's really why Tommy left,
but I don't care if it is or not.  I just want Tommy back!"

Knowing she would fall over if she stayed crouched as she was, Janeway
sat down on the deck, shaking her head, hoping everything Naomi had
said would fall into place to make a coherent narrative.  "You're
saying Ver and Geron told you B'Elanna and Harry are having an affair
and that is why he left?"

"They didn't *tell* me.  I overheard it when they didn't know I was
there.  People always seem to overlook me," she said more as a sad
observation to herself than to Janeway.

"I don't... They wouldn't..."

Naomi took a hold of the woman's shoulder and shook it.  "Captain!"

"Huh?"

"I want to go get Tommy!"

Janeway gathered enough of her wits about her to stand.  "I have to go
find out about this," she muttered and stumbled out.

Forgotten, Naomi let out a primal scream and stomped out of the
quarters.  'If the adults aren't going to listen to me,' she grumbled,
'I'll just have to do it myself.'

---

'A nine-months-pregnant woman should not get angry' was LaKeysha's new
mantra as she briskly waddled down the corridor to her and Ver's
quarters.  'She must be serene and peaceful at all times or risk her
mood adversely affecting the baby.'  She repeated this over and over
until she entered the quarters and found him just getting ready for
his shift.

"There you are," he smiled.

Her mantra flew right out of her head.  "You had better tell me this
is all a big misunderstanding, Ver Faran, and you had better tell me
that now!"

The big Bajoran frowned.  "What is?"

She filled him in on everything the grapevine had told her and he
tried to act nonchalant about it.

"So?"

"You overheard Joe Carey and I talking the other day, didn't you?  You
knew it was a private conversation, that we did not want it leaving
these quarters and you repeated it anyway."

"So what if I did?  I didn't know the Wildman kid was there and heard.
And who cares if she did and blurted it out?  Now it's all out in the
open and the ones who keep wasting their time thinking up ways to get
*him* back can finally give it up and get their minds back on what's
important -- getting us ready to go home."

"You... You..." The name she finally called the father of her child
was the most profane thing she could think of.  And considering she
had grown up in a mining colony with her father, four older brothers,
seven cousins, their fathers, and few females around that was rather
coarse.

Ver, who had never heard her use such language, let alone towards him,
was stunned into silence.

"I want you out of here immediately!"

"What?" he spluttered.

"You heard me.  Pack your things and get out.  After what you pulled
and what you've said here, I can't trust you and I certainly don't
want you here."

"But the baby-"

"And I will be just fine.  Better even.  Now get moving."

"LaKeysha-"

"Do I have to call Security?  I will if I have to."

He tried reasoning with her.  He tried sweet-talking her.  He tried
using the imminent arrival of their child.  Nothing changed her mind
or even made her waffle in the slightest.  After twenty minutes, he
judged a strategic retreat until she calmed down a little was best. 
He figured by the time his shift was over, she would have seen sense
and welcome him back with open arms and apologies so he would not
really need to pack much.  Just enough to make it look like he was
complying with her wishes.  Ver slung the small bag over his shoulder
and gave her one last, pleading look.  He would have achieved better
results if he had directed it towards the nearest bulkhead for all the
good it did him.  Sighing for effect, he slowly walked out, telling
her he loved her and the baby as he did.

LaKeysha immediately set to striping the bed and erasing all evidence
of his presence.

---

'Had B'Elanna lied to him?' Chakotay wondered.  'Was it possible these
two were telling the truth and Torres and Kim actually *were* having
an affair and it was the real motivating factor for this obsession of
hers to get to Paris?'

Within an hour and a half of Naomi's "explosion" in the Mess Hall,
everyone aboard Voyager had heard some version of the story.  Or
overheard in the case of Chakotay, who had been walking down a
corridor a couple of paces behind a crewwoman who was telling her
friend about it.  He had rolled the thought around in his mind along
with the larger implications it would have on matters if true then
headed straight for the Captain's quarters to tell her.

Only he literally ran into her before he made it that far.  He rounded
a corner and collided with her, their hands automatically grabbing a
hold of one another so they did not fall.  As they regained their
balance, he looked at her.  She appeared to once more be a woman with
too much weight on her shoulders.  'Well,' he thought, 'at least I can
take some of that weight from her.'

"Kathryn, I was just coming to see you.  I just heard something that I
don't know how you're going to react to, but you need to know.  Can we
go back to your quarters?"

Not meeting his gaze, she pulled away from his hands and started off
down the corridor again -- away from her quarters.  "I don't have
time, Commander.  I have to go see someone."

Chakotay hurried along after her and fell into step with her. 
"Kathryn, it's important."

"So's this," she insisted.

He glanced around to see they were alone then started to repeat what
he had heard regarding Harry and B'Elanna.  "Earlier today I was
talking to B'Elanna," he wrapped up, "and she accused *me* of being
the one who told Paris what Geron apparently did.  I saw a message
Paris left for her.  He claims he left so the two of them would be
free to be together."

She stopped and turned on him.  "I already knew all that.  Naomi told
me herself not five minutes ago.  And not the convoluted version I
just heard you tell me either.  Tom apparently did not catch them in
the act.  He did not have a huge fight with them.  None of that."

"So some of the details were a bit wrong, but the basic idea is there.
Kathryn, you should be happy about this."  Smiling, he laid his hands
on her shoulders.  "Now you know it wasn't really all because you
refused his request that he left."

Pushing the hands away, she stepped back.  "Tuvok's right.  You *are*
trying to poison me against him."

"What?"

"You don't want Tom back and you're making damned sure I don't
either."

"Kathryn, I'm not trying to *poison* anyone.  What I'm trying to do is
tell you that you don't have to feel guilty anymore.  He did leave
because he wanted."

"He *wanted* B'Elanna, that's what he *wanted*, but he thought Harry
had her and they were lying to him.  That is why he left, Commander,
that and because I refuse to break the Prime Directive and help him."

"Kathryn-"

She shook her head and cut the air with her hands.  "No.  I don't want
to hear anymore of this from you.  I'm tired of you constantly-"

"Bridge to Janeway," a male voice called over the comm.

"Go ahead, Hamilton."

"Captain, I think you should go to Shuttlebay One.  There's a
situation there that... well, Captain, I think you should go."

"What is going on?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I tried to tell you, Ma'am.  We don't even
believe it ourselves, frankly."

Sensing she was not going to get anything further from him, she closed
the connection and glared once more at the Commander then left.

Even though he knew he would not be welcome, Chakotay followed anyway.

--

A frazzled Sam Wildman, the two security officers who had responded to
the alert, and the shuttlebay technician who had issued it all
breathed a sigh of relief as the Captain and Commander strode into the
shuttlebay with Neelix a few paces behind them.  The two senior
officers were at a loss to explain what the problem was, but Neelix
cleared it up.

"She's still in there?" he asked Sam.

When he was close enough, she nodded and leaned into him as he placed
an arm around her.

"She who?" Janeway asked, looking from the two of them to the small
shuttle the security officers and the technician were staring at.

"Naomi's in there," the mother explained.

"In where?  The shuttle?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

Sam shook her head indicating she did not know why.

"According to the internal sensors, she came in a couple of minutes
ago, Captain," the technician piped up.  "I was next door doing some
work when alarms started going off and the Bridge contacted me wanting
to know what was going on."

Janeway nodded.  "And?"

The doors opened and Maire walked in to join them.

"And I guess Naomi just walked in and boarded one of the shuttles then
tried to take off in her.  Since I was next door, there was no one to
stop her.  There's never been any need to guard the shuttlebay unless
there was a yellow or red alert, Captain.  Besides, she's come in here
before with Mr. Paris and knows she's not to be in here unless she's
with an adult.  I heard Mr. Paris tell her that quite a few times.
He'd sometimes take her out with him if he was going on some simple
flights, you know.  The zero risk ones.  Always with permission he
told me."

She nodded.  "He always had her mother's and my permission.  So when
you came back in here, what happened?"

"Well, I looked around and saw no one then started checking the
shuttles and found Naomi was in this one and somehow had jammed the
door so I couldn't trigger the manual release.  I was trying to
override it all of you started showing up."

"Why don't you just beam her out of there?" Chakotay's tone suggested
this was the logical course of action and he was stunned they had not
thought of it.

They had actually and dismissed it.

"Sam's been trying to reason with her, Commander," Neelix informed
him.  "Naomi is very upset.  Has been for days.  If we were to drag
her out of there, she would resent it and it would only increase her
anger at us."

"I've been trying to talk her out," Sam whispered, "but she won't
listen to me.  She won't even talk to me."

"Captain," Maire interrupted as Janeway was lifting her hand to her
combadge to contact the child herself, "perhaps I might be permitted
to talk to her?"

In surprise, everyone turned to the New Kildarean who was approaching.

"I was on the Bridge, speaking with one of the engineers when this all
began.  I think I might be able to talk her out."

Sam frowned.  "But you don't even know my daughter."

"No, Ensign Wildman, I do not, but I am aware of what she and many
others on this ship want and am part of the reason why they are not
getting it.  Your taking me home is putting more and more distance
between them and this Mr. Paris."

"Then your talking to her only would make things worse."

She smiled mysteriously.  "Not necessarily.  I have a knack for
getting people to talk.  Ask Mr. Chakotay.  He noticed when I talked
to you, Captain.  Trust me.  It's not like it could do any harm.  Look
at where she is and what she's doing?  It can't get any worse.  A
third party who's not so involved in all this or, in my case, is
involved through no fault of their own."

The Captain, Sam, and Neelix considered this then consented.

-------

End Part Three