The BLTS Archive- Waiting Geron #4: Aggravations by Karen (CP4Karen@aol.com) --- Disclaimer: Paramount owns them. I imply no copyright infringement. c1998 Karen --- Slight spoiler for 'Thirty Days' and much creative license taken with 'Counterpoint'. Sentences within // are conversations that have taken place earlier. --- Tom comms me at 1130 hours and explains that he will be unavailable for lunch. There is an oddness to his voice which has me worried that someone is listening to our conversation. Is he *still* with Chakotay? "Computer, location of Lt. Paris." "Lt. Paris is in his quarters." "How many lifesigns are in Lt. Paris' quarters?" "Monitoring indicates that there is one set of lifesigns in Lt. Paris' quarters at this time." Damn. --- //We are concerned that Geron is going to be hurt.// //*We*, Chakotay? In any event, I don't plan on hurting Gerrie, just loving him.// //You never *intend* to hurt people, Paris, you just do.// Gods, I need a drink, but I'll just puke again. I dim the lights another five percent and lean back against the cool viewport, watching the dark beauty of space. Sighing, I think about the conversation this morning. It had been even worse than I had feared. //Chakotay, B'Elanna and Harry left me, not the other way around!// //Did it ever occur to you that maybe you don't put enough of yourself into a relationship to keep someone around? Everyone can't be wrong, Paris.// Damn, four hours and that one still hurts. This synthale just isn't cutting it, but I've got to be back on the bridge in twenty-five minutes and there is no way that I'm gonna risk giving anyone any kind of ammunition to use against me. I sigh again and look around my cabin. I haven't even started to clean up the redecorating job a few well-wishers did to my cabin. With friends like these, who need the Borg... I recycle my nearly full glass and wonder about the irrationality of most humanoid minds. The people who were asking me to play pool and dance yesterday are the same ones treating Gerrie and me like shit. Why does what the others think hurt so much? I jerk back to the present and notice the time. Heading for the lift, I am thankful that it is empty. Just one more brief moment to myself. Or... "Computer, halt turbolift." "Turbolift halted." "Paris to Geron." "Tom? Are you...OK?" The doubt in his voice makes me feel like an absolute shit. "I'm fine, Gerrie. I just wanted to apologize for missing lunch. Are we still on for dinner...uh, I can try to get a holodeck for a couple of hours?" "Dinner still sounds good." There is a smile in his voice. I can hear movement and then his voice is back...softer, slightly muffled. "I thought we were going to have dinner in your cabin." For the first time since we parted this morning, I smile. I'm also hard as a rock just from hearing the soft purr in that last sentence. "Well, I think a lakeside picnic and a swim might do us some good." And I don't want you to see what your friends have done to my cabin, sweetheart. "How about I pick you up about 1800 hours and we go from there?" "Sounds good, Tommy. Love you." He's gone before I can answer that last soft whisper. I flick the little Lieutenant carefully and wince as I soften. Uncomfortable, but effective. "Computer, resume turbolift." I reclaim my place at the helm from Rick and frown as he lightly flinches at the pat I place on his shoulder. Fuck 'em. I refuse to get angry. Instead I check our heading and contemplate which I enjoyed more, Gerrie's quiet *Tommy*, or the even softer *Love you.* I can't help but smile. --- I smile to myself, wondering if Tom heard my whispered 'I love you'. I know Chell did. He's still looking at me like I've grown a third eye. I spend the next few hours analyzing the results from my tests on the reactions of some of our more popular vegetables to the rather acidic soil gathered during our last landfall. The results are pretty dismal except for one. Why will leola root grow no matter what you do to it? --- "Mr. Paris, my ready room, please." I sigh and turn the conn over to Donna, who is looking like the proverbial canary-eating cat. If I didn't know that she is actually a wonderful woman and just worried for Geron, I could really hate the bitch right about now. "Have a seat, Tom." Tom. This is new. I have been Mr. Paris ever since she ended up giving me back my rank. Funny how commanding the ship for a month, keeping Tuvok and the rest of the telepaths on the ship alive and safe, and then busting her and Buster... I mean, Chakotay out of Kashyk's ship, redeemed me in her eyes. I refuse to grin. "Thank you, Captain." Let the games begin. --- "Geron." Prophets, another one. "Yes, Sue?" "Sweetie, you know that I adore Tom and we both know that he would never intentionally hurt you--" "Sue, I stopped listening with *Sweetie*. I'm not four, and I know exactly what I'm getting into. But thanks." I didn't take a lunch break today and with Sue's rather stunned blessing, I leave an hour early. There is something odd going on with Tom and I want to talk to him privately, in a place where he is the most comfortable. I head for Tom's quarters. --- "You and Geron have managed to set most of the crew on their ears. I don't normally meddle in the crew's personal affairs--" I turn a snort into a sort of wheeze and watch as Janeway's eyes narrow. She doesn't miss a word, however. Pity, that. "--but I am concerned that any kind of relationship between an innocent such as Crewman Geron and someone such as yourself--" That's it. The bitch is toast. "Such as myself, Captain?" She has the grace to blush. "Tom, let's not beat around the bush. You're very experienced when it comes to sex, and it's safe to say that Geron...isn't." It's tempting to tell her the only fucking that has been done so far has been done by *the innocent*, but that might be pushing it. "That's something that you would have to discuss with Gerrie, Captain, but you might be a bit surprised." I think I've said enough, though, because Janeway's speechless, but whether it's with surprise or distrust, I'm not sure. She stares somewhat blankly at me for at least a minute, and then tries again. "Tom, I am saying this for your sake as much as for Geron's. You have fought so hard to be accepted by the crew. There have been set backs, but you have persevered--" When did she become my father? This morning I was worried that she was trading places with me...the smirk, the mask, all the patented Tom Paris trademarks, but now she appears to have upgraded to the Admiral Paris model. A giggle is fighting its way up and out. I surprise both of us by suddenly standing and I turn to look out at the stars as we continue to head for home. "Captain, if you had come to me yesterday and told me that it was a bad idea to begin a relationship with Geron Tem, I would have agreed wholeheartedly. Hell, I probably would have laughed and ask you what you were drinking. "But a wonderfully sweet man offered me his heart last night; along with his body and soul." I turned to look her in the eye and smile ruefully. "He actually made quite an argument for the relationship; you might want to consider him for the command track." She doesn't look amused, and I sigh. Why is life so fucking hard... "He wants me in his life...he says that he has been waiting for me for years. And...I believe him." I take a chance that she won't laugh me out of the room and continue. "Kathryn...he's wonderful. There's no pretending, no games." I sit down directly across from her and watch as she fights to hold my gaze. I realize that this is as painful for her as it is for me and while it confuses me, I can't let it concern me right now. "I know that it seems sort of silly to be talking like this when it hasn't even been twenty-four hours. I'm also well aware of how young he is! There's a lot of potential for problems, not the least of it the crew's protectiveness when it comes to Geron." She's still too quiet and I realize that I am going to have to do the one thing that I hate most in life. Ask for help. I straighten my shoulders and give it my best shot. "Captain, how you and the Commander react to this situation will set a precedent for the rest of the crew. I'm not asking you to throw us a wedding reception, I am just asking that you don't openly disapprove." The Captain looks at me a bit sadly and my heart drops. I'm pretty sure I know what's coming. She walks over and sits behind the emotional safety of her desk. "I will think about what you have said, Tom, but I can't promise anything. Getting Voyager and her *entire* crew safely home is my primary concern. If I determine that a relationship between any two members of the crew may endanger that mission, then I have no choice but to terminate said relationship. I will give you my decision in twenty-four hours. You're dismissed." I stand and make my way back to the helm, steeling myself against the visual interrogation that is sure to come. I barely hear the Captain request Chakotay's presence and his turning the bridge over to Tuvok. Henley relinquishes the helm and whatever she sees in my face makes her look twice. She clears her throat. "You really do care for Geron, don't you," she whispers. I sit and briefly scan the console in order to give myself time to regain control of my emotions. I finally meet her eyes. "Yeah, Donna, I really do. And thanks to the wonderful reception we were given this morning in the mess, Gerrie and I may just be shit out of luck." Donna blinks and then squeezes my shoulder before quickly moving to the engineering portion of the bridge. I force myself to focus solely on my flying, realizing that there is nothing I can do but wait for the Captain's decision. It's going to be a long afternoon. --- The door opens to Tom's quarters and I call for the lights. The sight that greets me makes me sick to my soul. Everywhere that I look there is broken ceramics, crushed vids, shredded clothing. I turn slowly in a circle, taking in the hateful destruction. I start towards the sofa, figuring that's as good a place to start cleaning as any. The tinkle of glass breaking under my boot stops me. Ahhh, Tommy... I kneel carefully and pick up the remnants of what was to be the first of many gifts that I will give my love. Tears distort my sight as I try to place the pieces of the delicate crystal heart into some sort of order. I want to hit someone until they are just as broken as this small red heart. For the first time in a long while I hate someone, and it scares me. --- Gods, what an afternoon. Chakotay and Janeway were in her ready room for *fucking* ever, and I could feel Tuvok's eyes on me the entire time. The odd thing is, there seems to have been a bit of a thawing in the rest of the bridge complement. Donna relieved me again for a quick break and while I was up, Ayala called me over to Operations to discuss a change in the security configuration of the main helm console. Harry stood quietly, smiling a bit hopefully, but I was too preoccupied to consider that first offering of peace. I now make my way back to my quarters. It's still early enough to begin cleaning some of the mess, but I will never have it in good enough shape to spend what may be Gerrie's and my last night together in what I now think of as *our* bed. I am amazed at how scared I am at the thought of never touching Tem again. I make it to the door of my cabin and dreading what's inside, I rest my forehead against the panel for just a moment. I close my eyes and pray that just once things will go my way. Shaking my head, I key the door. Oh, sweetheart... --- I look up at the quiet swish of the door. Tom looks like I feel, and I wonder just what kind of shit he has put up with today. "I tried to clean up some of the mess. I replicated new bedding--" I know I am babbling, but I am desperate to relieve some of the pain in my love's eyes. "You've done a great job." His voice, normally so vibrant, is subdued and it terrifies me. "Tom...did the Captain say something?" Oh, Prophets, the look in his eyes! He's worried and scared, and I find myself burying my face in his chest. Why can't they just leave us alone. --- Damn it, in less than a minute I have managed to reduce him to tears. "Gerrie...sweetheart, c'mon, let's sit down. We need to talk." I feel him shudder, but he straightens and pulls me towards the couch. I sit in the corner and then smile as he quickly assumes what has become *our* position. I wrap my arms around him as tightly as he is wrapped around me. "First of all, yes, I spoke to Chakotay and then to the Captain." I force myself to be honest. "Neither conversation was exactly supportive, but the Captain at least is going to think about the situation and give us her decision in twenty-four hours." I find out that Tem resembles a cat in more than just his lounging habits. "What is there for her to think about," he growls out. "It's not like we're asking her to join us!" I have to laugh, but cut it short at his glare. "Gerrie, technically she has every right to tell us that we can't see each other. I am a lieutenant and you are a crewman. Even with the relaxed fraternization policies, if she decides that our relationship is endangering ship's morale, she can force us to stop seeing each other." "And if we don't agree to that...would we have to leave the ship to stay together?" Oh, shit. Talk about opening a can of worms. I can just see the uproar if Geron and I announced that we wanted off Voyager. One of us would leave all right, and it would probably be straight out the aft torpedo tube. "I think it's a little soon to be worrying about that. Even if the Captain did tell us to cool it, I don't think it would be permanent." I grin. "It's just hard for them right now-- you have to admit that most of the crew looks at you like a little brother. But, eventually these people are going to have to accept that you are a grown member of the crew..." I find myself with a lap full of annoyed Bajoran. "Is that how you look at me? Some orphan tagging along after the *real* crew?" --- Oh, good going, Tem. Piss off the only person on this tub whose opinion really matters. I quickly hug Tom in apology. He thaws a bit, but I can see I've hurt him with my anger. We sit for a moment, and then he slowly draws me down to lie against his chest. We hold each other in silence, drawing comfort from the warmth of each other's embrace. I kiss Tom's throat and think about just what changes I have thrust on this man with my demand to be included in his life. He hasn't said anything, but I can see much of the fatigue and defeat that followed him when we first were stranded in the Delta quadrant. I am humbled that he is willing to endure that pain again just to be with me. I crawl off of his legs and pull him to his feet. He just looks at me with a small and somewhat quizzical smile, but follows my lead. I have managed to clean the bedroom and bath, and he smiles at the results of my efforts. I give him a little shove and he sits on the edge of the bed. I quickly strip and then remove his uniform and boots. Pulling my love to his feet, I lead him to the shower and slowly, gently wash away the day's sweat and hopefully a bit of the pain. He returns the favor and I grin as a pair of strong hands slide down my back to massage my ass. He pulls me tight against his groin and I feel the heat of an impressive erection rising against my belly. My own is quick to follow his lead. I turn off the shower and carefully towel us both dry. We not-so-gracefully make our way across to the bed, joined by lips and arms. I smile at his growl as I pull away and crawl onto the bed. I lie down on my back and spread my legs just....so. Tom's eyes dilate even further and I find myself buried under an avalanche of hot helmsman. Oh, Prophets, this man can kiss! I moan repeatedly as my eyelids, cheeks, lips, throat, and nipples are peppered with dozens of petal soft touches. His lips are moist and warm, and I writhe as he reaches down to nip at my belly. I am in awe of how he can be so full of passion and yet so gentle. I know I should be contributing a bit more to this, but every time I reach for Tommy, he simply kisses my palm and places my hand back over my head. --- What did I do to deserve this man? He did not force the issue of his last question, instead drawing me into an embrace that soothes me to the bottom of my soul. We sit quietly for a while, and then I can literally feel him come to some sort of decision. We are suddenly on our way to the bedroom and I stop, amazed at how much he accomplished before I got home. I say nothing, however, knowing instinctively that what will follow is his way of making amends for all that has happened, as if any of it were his fault. He removes our clothes, and with the grace of a Talhoudhi pleasure slave, draws me into the shower. He bathes me and I do the same for him, making sure that beautiful little ass gets plenty of care. We kiss and then kiss again, and suddenly the heat flares and it is all that I can do not to take him right there. We make it to the bed and suddenly the brat pulls from my arms. I start to reach for him, but watch speechless as he lies down on the bed. Oh, man, ohmanohman.... The next thing I know I am doing my level best to cover every inch of his luscious body with mine. I press kisses to every inch of him that I can reach and know that I need him more than oxygen. --- I'm not sure how to go about this. I want Tom inside of me, but I know that it's going to hurt. I also know that if I show any kind of pain, that will be it. He might never agree to it again. I push on his shoulder and chuckle as he rolls over, the amusement plain in his eyes. I kneel next to him, rocking back on my heels. I reach under the pillow next to his head and watch his eyes grow round as he sees the tube of lubricant. "Gerrie--" he starts, but stills as I shake my head. My hands shake a bit as I open the tube and I stick my tongue out at Tom's grin as I manage to squeeze out about half of the tube. I retaliate by slathering the cold gel on his cock, and laugh as his eyes bulge a bit. I know I'm blushing as I reach back and try to prepare. I suddenly find myself lying across his chest and warm, gentle fingers begin to stretch me. Gods, is this what he felt? There is some pain, but I jump as a jolt of pleasure heats my belly. I close my eyes and allow that wonderful hand to open me wide. "Sweetheart..." I hear his quiet voice but can't respond. I'm too busy rocking on those busy, busy fingers. I wail when he removes them, but hush at the warm whispered endearments that direct me to kneel over him. So gently, so carefully and oh, so slowly, I am guided onto his wonderful cock. I hiss as he first breaches my core and he freezes. A warm hand massages my hip as Tom tells me to take my time. The burning pain slowly recedes and I rock a bit in experimentation. I notice that he is buried a bit deeper inside me each time. After what seems like forever I feel his crisp curls against my ass. Tom kneads the muscles in my thighs in encouragement, and then runs his hands up my hips and around to my belly, slowing to a stop at my nipples. Long fingers circle the hard nubs and I writhe a bit in pleasure. Oh, blessed Prophets...just that little bit of movement has me groaning in ecstasy. I begin to rock, Tom's hands steadying my pace. I open my eyes and look down at my love. Our eyes lock and I feel him blindly reaching and then lacing our fingers together. We are one. --- He's giving himself to me. Oh, I know that he's mine already, but as he carefully sinks down onto my cock, I see in his face that he would give me absolutely anything to make me whole and happy. At his first sign of pain, I almost ask if he wants to stop, but I realize that he would probably see it as yet another sign that someone doesn't accept him as an adult. I file that away in my mind as something that we will definitely have to discuss, but gods, not right now. So sweet. I am completely buried in his body and I begin to tease at him, diverting his attention from what I know is the initial pain of joining. It works. He looks like he might start purring at any moment. My gods, the look in his eyes. This isn't a moment that I would share with anyone, but I wish those sons of bitches could see the look of love in his beautiful eyes. I need to hold him but have to settle for his hands. --- I am moaning continuously, now. I pull my hands from his and lean forward to balance my weight against his chest. My movements are becoming faster, uneven, but-- "Oh, Tom!" --- Gods, he's beautiful. He's riding me so hard it almost hurts, and is groaning from deep in his chest. He is flushed, sweaty and absolutely gorgeous. Suddenly, his eyes snap open, and he looks at me as if in shock. "Oh, Tom!" Oh, fuck, that's good...tight, hot, and then I feel liquid heat splash against my chest and stomach. His back arches and I raise my knees to try and brace him. Instead, I almost buck him off as I come at warp nine. --- I come to myself...hot, wet, sticky, and I couldn't be happier if I tried. I raise my head and look into my lover's eyes. They're almost shut, but I'd say that he's just as pleased with the results as I am. He snickers as I take the edge of the sheet and attempt to clean us off, finally just groaning and dropping back down to lie amongst damp curls. --- I thought Gerrie was asleep, but he's roused enough to notice that we're a mess. He looks at me as if gauging whether it's worth moving, but then settles for a half-assed cleaning job with part of the sheet. I laugh and he growls a bit and then settles back down on my chest. I don't mind in the least. Tomorrow is going to come way too soon, and with it maybe some news that we don't want to hear. In the mean time, I will hold him against my heart and we will rest. --- The End