The BLTS Archive- Untitled Series
#1: I Left My Heart
by Isla (Islaofhope@aol.com)

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Feedback: Send feedback, both positive and negative.

Archive:  This story was originally posted to the March/April NEUTRAL
ZINE.  It's now available on my website and in the NEUTRAL ZINE
archive.  Other archives, please ask.

Disclaimer:  All that is Star Trek belongs to Paramount.  All that is
San Francisco belongs to anyone who can afford to live there or buy a
plane ticket.  Of course, the title comes from the song "I Left My
Heart in San Francisco."  The rest of it, I made up.  This is fan
fiction.  I won't make any money from it.

Thanks to: Jenna for inspiring me to write this.  I originally wrote
it as a new beginning to "The Calm You Seek," but then took it off
again as a separate story.  To T'Aaneli for retracing this little
journey with me during our recent trip to SF, and Jane (Jat Sapphire)
for betaing.  Jane, I'd love to take you on this journey, too.

---

Although he had been pleased to accept Jim's invitation to dinner at a
restaurant in Ghiradelli Square, Spock had been disconcerted when the
hostess had seated him on the terrace.  She had explained that the
admiral had requested the table, but it was unlike Jim to be
thoughtless concerning Spock's comfort.  She turned on the heaters,
but it was still unpleasantly chilly.

However, he felt instantly warmer when he spotted Jim striding across
the flagstone, and he decided that it was indeed agreeable that Jim
had requested a table outside.  Because of the chill of the evening,
the other patrons opted to stay inside, and Jim and Spock had the
terrace to themselves.

Jim dropped into a chair next to Spock's.  "Sorry I'm late, First
Officer."

"You are here now, so you are forgiven, Admiral."

Jim laughed.  "I guess I shouldn't call you 'first officer' any more,
should I?"

"Jim, you may call me anything you prefer."  "First Officer" was the
closest thing to an endearment that Jim ever used.  Generally, he just
called him "Spock" - accompanied by a smile that inspired a sweet
warmth in Spock's groin.

Jim had been so busy with his duties that this was the first time they
had been alone for more than a few brief minutes since the Enterprise
had returned to Terra at the close of the five-year mission.  That Jim
had been able to escape for an entire evening was a pleasurable
surprise.

"I hope you don't mind that I chose this place.  The food isn't
outstanding, and it's too touristy.  But the view of the Bay and the
Golden Gate Bridge is worth the price," Jim said before he opened the
menu.

"I have often observed that you find the sight of a body of water to
be  soothing."

He looked up at Spock, and his smile was as warm as the fog closing in
around them was cold.  "Not as soothing as the sight of you."

Spock nodded to acknowledge the compliment and allowed his eyes to
linger on  Jim's until the waiter appeared to take their order.

After the waiter left, Jim said, "I'm glad we're doing this."

"Dinner?"

"No, formalizing our bond.  You were right; I'm glad that you
convinced me."

"If you recall, it was you who proposed to me."  Spock allowed
amusement to show in his eyes.

"Right, I chased you until you caught me."  A comfortable silence
descended between them momentarily, broken by Jim's sudden sigh.  "I
can't wait until I'm done with all this post-mission de-briefing."

"And then you can begin your new duties as Admiral, Chief of
Operations."

"Oh, I already started them.  That's why I'm so busy. Plus your father
had the Vulcan Embassy send over a pile of data chips for me to
review.  Maybe I'll take those with me on our honeymoon."  He tilted
his head slightly, an unspoken question in his eyes.

Spock raised a single eyebrow but said nothing.

With a grin, Jim said, "And then I'll bring them back without looking
at  them."  He reached for Spock's right hand under the table and
entwined their fingers together. Spock treasured the warmth that
spread to the rest of his body from the place where their palms fitted
together.  With the fingers of his left hand, Spock traced the veins
on Jim's hand down to the back of his wrist.  Jim's breath caught in
his throat and his smile widened.

When the waiter returned with their dinners, Spock relinquished Jim's
hand.     When Spock attempted to engage Jim in a conversation about
his new duties at the Admiralty, Jim said he did not wish to "'talk
shop."  When Spock introduced the topic of their bonding ceremony, Jim
appeared disinclined to speak of that as well.

Spock contented himself with enjoying the comfortable silence between
them, but he felt a moment of concern over the weariness in Jim's
manner.  After a time, Jim confessed that he was tired from "all of
the talking" that he had done in the last few days, but then he smiled
and his weariness seemed to vanish when he said that he was grateful
for the opportunity to be silent with Spock.

After the waiter had cleared the dishes and accepted his credit chip,
Jim said, "I could go for some ice cream."

As Spock had no intention of assuming a parental role with him, he did
not point out the illogic of Jim sending back his dinner nearly
untouched and then consuming food with little nutritional value.
Instead, he said, "Then, perhaps, we are in the ideal location. There
is an ice cream establishment on the lower level that appears to be
quite popular."

Jim shook his head and stood up.  "No, the place that I had in mind is
over on Union Street."

The mention of Union Street triggered a memory from his Academy days,
and Spock guessed the establishment to which Jim referred.  "It is a
rather long distance from here.  I do not mind the walk, but can you
spare the time?"

When Jim frowned slightly and ran a hand through his hair, Spock
realized his mistake.  Before Jim could remember the pile of work that
awaited him at the Admiralty and bring the evening to an end, Spock
said, "I would enjoy a walk, Jim."

Gesturing towards the street, Jim said, "Actually, we can catch a
cable car here that'll take us part of the way there."

Spock nodded agreement and followed Jim down the steps.  They walked
the two blocks to the cable car origination point in an easy silence.
When they arrived, Jim shook his head, apparently distressed by the
long line of tourists waiting to board the cars.  Grasping Spock's
forearm briefly, Jim said, "If you don't mind walking up the hill, we
can jump on without waiting in line."

"Is it ethical to bypass the line in this manner?"

"You've never ridden a cable car before, have you?"  Jim led the way
up the hill, glancing back occasionally, apparently to determine
whether a cable car was following.

"If we go up to Lombard, by the 'crookedest street,' there's a stop
that's far enough away that we should be able to jump on without
standing in line."


It was a very steep hill, and the fact that Jim was slightly out of
breath when they reached the top was a reminder that he had neglected
his physical conditioning due to the pressures of duty in the last few
months.

Spock's slight difficulty with breathing was not caused by physical
effort or the steepness of the hill - rather it was caused by the fact
that he was walking beside Jim.  "I have never seen the 'crookedest
street' before, but I have heard that it is a much sought after
attraction."

Pausing to catch his breath at the top of the hill, Jim gestured
dramatically across the street.  "There you have it: the 'crookedest
street'."

Spock observed a large number of tourists in groundcars, lining up to
drive down a block-long hill where the road wound back and forth an
inordinate number of times.  "Although it is a steep hill, I do not
believe the number of turns that the designer has included are
actually necessary."

"Well, who knows what they were thinking when they built it?  I think
they were just trying to be charming.  It looks more impressive
looking up from the bottom, but there's a cable car coming, so we
don't have time to walk down.  Maybe another time."

When Jim stepped into the street, waving his arm, the cable car came
to a stop.

"There are no seats available."  Spock followed Jim into the street
but  hesitated, surveying the throng of people who appeared to be
crammed into the car and hanging off the side.

"I wouldn't dream of sitting down on a cable car.  The only way to go
is to hold onto the side and lean out on the turns."  Jim scrambled up
the side, using his smile to convince other passengers to slide over
to make room for them.  From his pocket, he extracted what he
described as a monthly muni pass and displayed it to the driver.  He
also conjured from his pocket a token to pay for Spock's passage.

The crowded conditions required them to stand far closer together than
they normally did in a public place.  "Hold on," Jim said over the
clang of the bells, his mouth inches from Spock's ear, and he reached
around Spock to hold onto a pole.  Gripping the same pole, Spock's
hand rested against Jim's.

Jim's erection pressed against Spock's hip, and his free hand inched
slowly down Spock's back.  Spock nearly gasped aloud when Jim gently
touched Spock's mind, sending an image of himself slowly fucking Spock
standing up in just this position.  Spock closed his eyes a moment,
savoring the sensation of Jim's body fitted against his own.  He
imagined that Jim's scent filled his nostrils but, in truth, the damp
smell of the fog was far stronger.

Because of their physical contact, Spock noticed when Jim's pulse
accelerated as the car picked up speed and careened up one hill and
down another.  True to his word, Jim did lean out going around a
corner and narrowly missed being hit by another cable car that was
coming the opposite direction.

After a time, Jim said, "Here's our stop."  They jumped off as soon as
the car came to a halt.

Jim inclined his head at the cable car as it sped away.  "They used to
go a lot faster a long time ago.  But their braking system is manual,
so after they had a few runaway cars, they slowed it down a lot.  Now
you can get a better ride on the Geary."

"What is a geary?"  Spock fell into step beside Jim as they climbed
another hill.

"Oh, it's a muni, one of the old-style busses. The Geary runs out to
the  Avenues, to Ocean Beach.  Since they outlawed private vehicles in
most of the city, it's the best way to get around.  There's some
pretty good hills and you can get some good air time if you're in the
back."

"Air time?"

Jim turned a wide smile on Spock.  "You know, when you're lifted out
of your seat?  Like on a roller coaster?  Except on the muni, they
don't have seat belts."

"I have never been on a roller coaster.  Or a muni."  Spock was silent
a  moment, considering how different their lives had been before they
knew each other - and how much Jim had changed Spock's life.  Their
friendship was a true expression of IDIC.

"Jim, you appear to know quite a bit about the city although you have
not lived here in many years."

An expression that McCoy would have described as a "know-it-all grin"
lit Jim's face.  "I didn't spend *all* of my time at the library when
I was at the Academy."

"Nor did I."

"No, you were in the computer labs when you weren't at the library."
Jim stopped in front of an establishment with the name "Double
Rainbow" painted on the window.  He briefly rested a hand of the small
of Spock's back before he led the way inside.   They walked past a
crowd of people waiting in line, and Jim lifted a hand to a woman who
came around the counter to meet them.  "Jim!  I wondered how long you
would be back before you came to see me."

"Ruth, it's good to see you."  Jim and Ruth embraced before Jim turned
back to Spock.  "Ruth, I want you to meet Spock.  Spock, this is my
old boss, Ruth."

She smiled and said, "Your first officer."  She lifted her hand in a
Vulcan salute. "Live long and prosper, Spock.  Jim has told me a lot
about you."

Jim chuckled and said, "Not everything.  He's not my first officer
anymore. We're getting married next week. "

Spock felt an odd warmth seep into his chest at this introduction.
Although Jim was technically correct - Vulcan bonding is similar to a
Terran marriage - Spock had never been introduced in this manner
before.  Spock returned the salute.  "Live long and prosper, Ruth."

Jim rested a hand on Spock's elbow.  "Ruth, Spock and I first met here
in your store."

"I didn't know that Vulcans ate ice cream."  Her smile was warm as she
turned her bright blue eyes on Spock again.

"They do not.  My Terran aunt desired ice cream," Spock said.

"Spock, what can I offer you?"

Spock shook his head.  "I require nothing, but do you have double
chocolate obsession ice cream for Jim?"

"Jim's favorite?  Even if he only comes to see me once every five
years, I still have his favorite flavor.  Have a seat.  I'll bring you
some."

"Just a cone, Ruth.  I'm not really that hungry."   Jim led the way to
an available table in the corner, and they sat down facing each other.

"Jim, it is not technically correct that we met here.  We did first
see each other here 18 years ago, but we did not introduce ourselves."

Jim's hand grazed Spock's knee under the table.  "That's only because
you were too shy.  You recognized me from the Academy, but you didn't
say anything."

"And, apparently, you recognized me as well."  They had never spoken
of it, but Spock did remember that day with great clarity.

"Maybe I was shy, too.  A missed opportunity.  Fortunately, I'm
smarter than I used to be, and I don't miss opportunities anymore."
Jim put his hand on Spock's forearm.  Although Jim's fingers were cool
compared to Spock's body temperature, Spock imagined that the touch
burned him through the fabric of his uniform tunic.

Ruth returned with an ice cream cone, handed it to Jim, and turned to
Spock.

"Are you sure that you don't want anything, Spock?"

"No, I wish only a bite."

Jim lifted his eyebrows at that and began to attack the ice cream with
the tip of his tongue.

Ruth started to sit down to join them, but was interrupted by a clerk
who approached with a worried look on her face and mumbled something
in her ear.

"Jim, Spock, I'm really sorry.  I wish I could stay and talk.  If I
don't get back to you, I'll call you and we'll have dinner, okay?"

They stood up to say good-bye, but then reseated themselves.   Between
licks on his cone, Jim said, "I didn't think you were interested in
ice cream.  How come you told her that you'd have a bite of mine?"

"I did not specify that it was your ice cream that I was planning to
bite."  Spock's expression was carefully blank.

Jim nearly choked on his ice cream.

A few minutes later, when they exited the shop, Jim turned toward the
cable car stop, but he correctly identified Spock's hesitation.
"Don't you want to ride the cable car again?"

"I would prefer that we both survive long enough to reach our bonding
day."

Jim grinned and said, "That's okay.  I probably should walk off that
ice  cream anyway.  C'mon, I know a shortcut back to Starfleet
Headquarters."  He led Spock on a circuitous route up and down hills.
Spock decided that if they were parted in the fog that closed around
them, he would have been unable to find his way back unassisted.
Clasping Jim's hand to avoid such an eventuality was a logical choice.

Jim's natural loquacity returned - fueled, Spock decided, by the sugar
and caffeine from the ice cream.  "I can't wait to show you San
Francisco.  It's such a beautiful city."

"I understand that it is considered to be very romantic and, as such,
is a popular honeymoon destination."

Jim laughed and squeezed Spock's hand.  "No, we're not spending our
honeymoon here.  It's way too crowded.  And I'm not giving you any
hints either.  So don't bother asking.  All I'll tell you is that no
one from Starfleet will ever be able to find us.  And we're not taking
any communicators."

"And how do you plan to ensure that no one from Starfleet will know
our  destination?"  Spock had given little thought to the month they
would spend together; his mind had been focussed on the bonding
ceremony.

"You remember I told you about my friends Jason and Marianne?  They're
giving us a ride, and they don't talk to anyone from Starfleet except
Bones and me. And they'll talk to you, of course."

"It is very generous of them to transport us."

Jim shrugged.  "Well, I own part of their ship, and, of course, now
you do, too."

"And they know our destination?"  Spock paused a moment to drink in
the sight of Jim who appeared to glow in the light cast by a
streetlamp.

Jim startled Spock by leaning forward to brush his lips lightly
against  Spock's, touching off a spark between them.  "Don't get any
bright ideas  about asking them, because they don't know either."  
Spock forced himself to take a deep breath and resist the impulse to
pull Jim against him for a deeper kiss.  They would soon be alone, and
he would be free to touch Jim in any way that he chose.

Returning his mind to their discussion, Spock realized that Jim's
mysterious plans for their "honeymoon" trip was intended as a gentle
revenge for Spock's success at surprising Jim by arranging the shore
leave on which they had first become lovers.  "If you recall, I did
tell you that the trip I planned was at a beach house."

"Yeah, you told me about 15 minutes before we left.  Nope, you're
gonna have to wait."

Spock immediately ceased his attempts to obtain information about
their trip: it was clearly a battle that he would not win. Instead, he
asked Jim where he was planning to live in San Francisco.

"Nogura offered to put us on a waiting list for a place at the Old
Presidio Arms.  I'm not really interested in living near him, and it's
expensive.  For now, I'll probably just stay in temporary officer's
quarters.  When you move back after you finish your assignment on the
Outer Rim, we can decide where we want to live."

Lifting an eyebrow, Spock said, "Have you not thought about where you
would prefer to live?"

"I'd love to be by the water.  The Marina District is wonderful
because it's close to Starfleet, but it's pricey and there aren't many
apartment  buildings.  I'm thinking way out in the Richmond District
or Sunset.  It's a much longer commute, but we could afford something
by Ocean Beach maybe."

Spock realized that they had never discussed their respective
finances, so Jim might not be aware that they had other resources
besides their respective Starfleet salaries.  Perhaps the experience
of living his entire adulthood supported by Starfleet caused Jim to
care nothing for personal wealth.

They were no longer holding hands as they walked across a grassy field
lit only by the full moon.  Spock dug his hands in his pocket to
preserve some semblance of warmth.  Jim paused a moment, apparently to
enjoy the sight of the Golden Gate Bridge shining in the distance, and
Spock's breath caught at the sight of Jim shining beside him.

"By the way, thanks for getting someone to pack up my quarters after I
disappeared right after we got in.  I'm a little embarrassed that I
left it to you.  I know it's not exactly part of your job as my first
officer."

Spock briefly caressed the nape of Jim's neck.  "I am no longer your
first officer.  And it pleases me to do what I can to help you."

"Thank you," Jim said, grasping Spock's arm briefly before releasing
it.  "I hate to ask, but do you know what happened to my stuff?  I'm
still living out of the suitcase that I packed when we first got
here."

Spock turned to study the view of San Francisco Bay.  "Perhaps your
belongings were put into storage accidentally.  I will investigate."

"Oh, don't bother.  I'll have my admin look around."

Perhaps it was the fog or the numerous turns that they had made, but
Spock was startled to discover that Jim had led them back to the
Starfleet Admiralty rather than to the temporary housing where they
had both been assigned quarters.  As they mounted the stairs, Spock
said, "Jim, did you require something from your office before going
back to your room?"

"No, I'm staying here tonight."  Jim keyed the door to his office, but
did not walk in immediately.

Spock swallowed before he found his voice.  "I had hoped to share your
bed tonight."

Jim's smile was very warm.  "You're welcome to my bed, of course.  But
I  won't be there.  I have to finish up this report for Nogura for a
meeting first thing in the morning.  I shouldn't have even taken this
evening off, but I couldn't resist.  I had to see you.  Even if it was
only dinner and a walk."

Spock felt an unexpected thrill of joy that Jim had chosen to take
time that he could not truly spare from his duty to share dinner and a
long - frankly romantic -walk.   But then Spock had another thought.
As Jim's smile widened, the sparkle in his eyes caused Spock to
experience a phenomenon very like his heart skipping a beat.  "Jim,
you have been teasing me all evening."

Jim laughed.  "Payback's hell, isn't it?"  Taking Spock's hand in his
own, Jim brought it to his mouth to kiss the pulse point of Spock's
wrist.  "Do you remember the night you told me that I was your heart's
desire?"

Spock remembered.  Spock had kissed Jim in this same manner and walked
out of his quarters.  They had not joined their bodies until two weeks
later when they had gone on shore leave together.  "If you recall, we
were far too busy. It was more practical to wait until we had the
leisure of shore leave."

Spock's argument was, of course, futile.  Jim had already made up his
mind about how he would spend the night.  "When are you leaving for
Vulcan, Spock?"

"In two days."

Jim nodded and released Spock's hand.  "Nogura's got my schedule
pretty full, so we won't have any time to spend together.  I'll see
you on Vulcan at our bonding ceremony."  And then, in Spock's mind,
//At the appointed place.//

//I await thee.//  The door slid closed, and Spock stood alone outside
Jim's office.

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The End