The BLTS Archive - Unnamed series:
Autumn Break
by Isla (Islaofhope@aol.com)

---

Disclaimer:  Star Trek and its characters all belong to Paramount,
Viacom, and Rick Berman.  I'm just borrowing the characters for a
little while.  This is fan fiction.  I won't make any money from it.

Thank you to my betas, Jat Sapphire, Roisin, and T'Aaneli.  Also,
Selek had a look at it to approve what I was doing w/ his namesake.

Okay to archive, but please contact me before archiving anywhere
except  ASCEM.

Please send feedback to islaofhope@aol.com.  Both positive and
negative  feedback is welcome.

---

I steered the groundcar onto the TransCanada Highway, leaving behind
the urban sprawl of Calgary. The groundcar was an anachronism required
in the protected area of the Western Canada National Park Preserve.

I glanced over at my sleeping companion. Were we in a spacecraft, he
would have automatically taken the pilot's seat, but he generally
deferred to my piloting skills when we used planet-bound forms of
transportation. If we were headed for shore leave, as we now were, he
invariably fell asleep: a logical way to conserve energy since he
sacrificed sleep to finish several projects before he took time off.
Also, once we were at our destination, he would wish to sacrifice
sleep to 'make the most' of our time together.

He had called this a vacation rather than a shore leave since he
currently held an earthbound Starfleet assignment.  I no longer
questioned the logic of 'resting' from exertions by ten-kilometer
hikes and scrambling over rocks. I knew that he would return back
'rested and relaxed,' and we would both benefit from the calm that
would be restored to his mind.

I was aware of our son, Selek, sitting quietly in the back seat.  His
mind was a low, warm hum in my own.  Our relationship was far warmer
than the one that I had with my own father, but we were not physically
demonstrative nor did we require conversation to enjoy each other's
company.

The scenery had a curiously soothing effect on my nervous system.   At
one time, I would have insisted that I was immune to such effects.
Deciding that Jim would also benefit from the aesthetically pleasing
scenery flowing past us, I reached for his hand to wake him.

"Mmm, what is it, Spock?" he asked as he came instantly awake.  "We
can't be there already, can we?"

"No, but I did not wish you to miss the pleasures of the journey."

He looked out the window, noting the flat, golden fields punctuated
with  rolls of hay, and, in the distance, the snow-dusted peaks of the
Canadian Rocky Mountains that appeared to beckon to us.  The contrast
between plain and mountain was an exceptionally pleasing sight, one of
the many beauties to be found on the planet of his and my mother's
birth.  He squeezed my hand, silently thanking me for the sight.
Gratitude is not logical, and I could not claim responsibility for the
beauty around us, but I wordlessly accepted his thanks.

When we stopped at the park gate, we removed the top from the
groundcar, so that we could more fully enjoy the sight of the
mountains.  The temperature was not as warm as I prefer it, but I
controlled my shivering by wrapping an additional sweater around
myself and enjoying the warmth of his pleasure.  By then, Selek had
roused himself from his private thoughts to lean forward between us to
display his knowledge of the mountain peaks around us.  He unerringly
called out their names, to Jim's evident amusement.

I stopped the groundcar in front of a log cabin, and we picked up our
bags to take them inside.  Glancing at our son, Jim said, "Well, it's
not the Ahwahnee, Sel, but I hope that you'll like it."

Selek's eyes sparked with amusement.  "Dad, you don't have to compete
with Mom.  I know you're ticked off that she took me to Yosemite and
we stayed at the Ahwahnee Grand Hotel just before the three of us were
planning to go camping in Yosemite.  I think it's great that you
brought me here to Banff, but you didn't have to go to the trouble of
getting a cabin.  I would've been perfectly happy camping out the way
you prefer."

Jim favored me with an amused glance before he turned back to Selek.
"Maybe I'm just getting old, and I've lost my taste for sleeping on
the ground."

In truth, I had made the arrangements and had booked this cabin
without  consulting him.  He had not known until we arrived that it
was the same cabin that we had stayed in many years ago.  Like Selek,
I did not mind indulging him in his preference for camping out, but
the thought of a warm bed and a hot tub after a day of hiking appealed
to the hedonistic tendencies that our years together had developed in
me.

We put our bags in the larger bedroom to the left of the common living
area while Selek laid claim to the sleeping alcove to the right.
"This is bigger than I remember it." Jim looked out appreciatively at
the hot tub on the patio connected to our bedroom.

"It has been many years.  No doubt they have upgraded.  They were able
to command a greater fee for the rental."

"But it's worth it." He laughed before he turned to put his arms
around me. He tilted his face up for a kiss, and I savored his taste,
his pleasing smell, and the feel of him in my arms.  All too quickly,
he broke the embrace, and walked back into the living area.

"Who's ready for a hike?" he asked, and Selek popped out of the
sleeping  alcove with a map in hand.

"Let's go up to the Lake Agnes teahouse!  It says here that after a
four-kilometer hike up from Lake Louise, you can eat soup or
sandwiches or dessert with tea or hot chocolate."

"It is a 3.8 kilometer hike." I said.  "And if you are hungry, we can
make something here.  I do not see how you can be hungry already after
the large meal that you had in Calgary."

"It's not about being hungry, Father.  It's a new experience."  His
response was without rancor and with a grin that mirrored Jim's.  They
share no genetic connection, but he shares many of Jim's more pleasing
qualities.   Jim had sole custody of him for the first two years of
Selek's life, but we began to share custody with his mother, Dr. Leila
Kalomi, a research  scientist at UC Berkley.  Always, Jim has been a
devoted parent.  Although we have raised him to appreciate his Vulcan
as well as his Terran ancestry, I frequently accuse Jim of
'corrupting' him towards his Terran side.  In truth, this is not so.
Even before I came back into their lives, Jim taught Selek the Vulcan
language as well as Standard and exposed him to my culture through
close association with Vulcan relatives.

I looked out the window and ascertained that a light rain had begun.
"If you two insist on this hike, you must wear your rain gear.  I have
some work that I must complete and I will stay here to prepare
dinner."

Before Jim could protest, Selek said, "Oh, no, you don't!  Just
because I'm here to keep Dad company doesn't mean that you're going to
bury yourself in this cabin.  We're here to enjoy each other as a
family, and you're coming with us."  I was reminded of a similar
lecture from my mother when I was the teenager and tried to extricate
myself from an outing with my parents.  "Besides," Selek continued,
"if we eat at the teahouse, you won't need to make us any dinner."

Jim was grinning, but he didn't say anything before he went to find
rain gear for all three of us.

When we were alone, Selek suddenly looked uncomfortable.  "There's
something that I have to tell Dad, and I want you there for emotional
support."

"Support for him or for you?"   "Him, of course."  He responded with
exaggerated patience, his face solemn, but with a twinkle in his eye.
"I'm a Vulcan.  We don't need emotional support.  Remember?"

I considered pointing out to him that, if that argument were to hold,
one could also argue that a Vulcan would not be capable of offering
emotional support.  But before I could reply, Jim came back into the
room. "Are you two ready?"

Random chance operated in our favor, and the rain stopped shortly
after we began our climb.  Selek darted ahead, but we frequently
stopped to admire the view of the turquoise lake below, and the green
and golden trees around us.  We walked in silence, except for an
occasional observation from Selek.  We breathed in the cool, fresh
air, and allowed the peaceful setting to refresh our minds.

As we followed Selek up the steps to the teahouse, Jim broke the
silence  between us.  "He's amazing, isn't he?  I only told him two
days ago that we were coming here, and he researched it completely.
And he remembers  everything that he read.  He's certainly inherited
your mind."

The boy suddenly let out a whoop of joy as we walked into the
teahouse.  "And your ability to attract attraction," I said as the
other patrons turned to smile at the boy's enthusiasm.

Jim laughed at that as we joined Selek at a table on the outdoor deck.
I was grateful that I had brought an extra sweater in my backpack.
The late afternoon autumn sun provided enough warmth for the other two
members of my family, but I welcomed the additional layer.

I caught Jim's look of amusement at the many layers of clothing I now
wore.  "You look like a Vulcan Teddy Bear, minus the six-inch fangs."
His voice was very quiet, for my ears only.

My response was equally quiet.  "Nonetheless, I am quite capable of
biting."  As I had hoped, he chuckled at that.

Once we had steaming bowls of vegetable soup and thick sandwiches in
front of us, we stared contentedly out at the view of the snow-capped
mountain peaks spread out before us.  I sipped my herbal tea, grateful
for the warmth.  Jim and Selek had opted for hot chocolate, claiming
that they would burn the additional calories on our hike.  Selek
mirrored Jim's unfortunate fondness for sweets, but they both
maintained their weights at healthy levels through frenetic activity,
and I voiced no objection.

"This was a great idea, Sel." Jim reached out to ruffle the boy's hair
affectionately.  It was a gesture that Selek and I each found annoying
when applied to us, but we each bore it with patience before we
reordered our hair.

I studied our son for a moment.  Although he was 3/4 Terran, he had
the  characteristic pointed ears and upswept eyebrows of a Vulcan, and
I had  tended to enough scraped knees when he was younger to know that
his blood was green. His hair had darkened from the pale blond that it
had been when he was a small child to the golden color that Jim's had
been in his youth.  And in this light, both Jim and Selek's eyes were
green and gold, although Selek's were closer to turquoise.

They were sitting in an identical attitude of pleased excitement as
they  enjoyed the view.  If it were not for the fact that Selek
divided his time between our home and his mother's, I could almost
believe that the boy was genetically Jim's and mine.

"I agree.  I regret my earlier reluctance."  I sipped from my teacup
placidly, before dropping my next comment into the comfortable
silence.   "Well, Selek, perhaps now would be an acceptable time to
tell us your news."

I was uncertain whether the look Selek gave me was gratitude or
annoyance. Perhaps a little of both.  Although he had been anxious to
talk to Jim about something that was troubling him, now he was nervous
about beginning.

Jim glanced from me to Selek.  "What's up?  Are you two conspiring
against me about something?"  The smile that lit his face told me that
he was pleased at the thought that Selek and I were sharing a secret:
evidence of a close paternal relationship.

"Actually, I haven't told Father the news. I just told him there was
something that I had to tell you."  He took a deep breath.  "Mother is
planning to relocate to Rigel temporarily, and I want to go with her.
It would be good for me to live off Terra for a while."

Jim's face became dangerously calm as he put his mug down on the
table.   "When?  For how long?"

"At the beginning of the new year.  She's on sabbatical from Berkley,
and she wants to join a research team.  Maybe six months, but if she
likes it, we'll stay for a couple of years."

I saw the sudden tension in Jim's shoulders and made a mental note to
convince him to accept a back rub tonight.  Although I had as much at
stake here as he did, I allowed him to respond.  I sensed that he
would have liked to explode with anger directed at the boy's mother,
but I trusted that he would refrain from showing that anger to our
son.

"And she asked you to talk to me before we got the lawyers involved to
renegotiate our joint custody agreement."

"Yeah, that's how she said that you would react." The bitterness of
his tone surprised me.

He lifted both eyebrows at him.  "Oh, did she?"  He looked away, and
refused to recognize the cautioning look in my eyes.

"Sure, she said that you think it's okay to run off into space
whenever you want, but if I want to go somewhere, you'll shout about
your parental rights."

I placed my teacup on the table a little too quickly, and the clatter
was the only sound at our table for a long time.  Selek's words to Jim
were unspeakably cruel.  Jim had long been torn between his Starfleet
duties and his love for this boy.  Selek's words reminded him not only
of his guilt over time spent away from Selek, but of the biological
son that Carol Marcus refused to allow him to meet.  Perhaps also of
his rocky relationship with his own father who had been gone on
Starfleet business through much of his childhood.

"Selek, you will apologize to the Admiral," I said sharply in an
unconscious imitation of my mother reproving me for disrespect to my
own father when I was a teenager.

Jim had turned very pale, and he responded in a quiet voice, "No, he's
right.  Selek is old enough to decide what he wants.  And he's right
that I haven't always asked his permission before I abandoned him
because of my own selfish desires to be out in space."  He stood up.
"Will you two please excuse me?  I need to go for a walk.  I'll meet
you back at Lake Louise before dark."

"Jim."

He gave no sign that he heard me as he shouldered his backpack and
walked away.

I could not bring myself to look at the boy.  "How could you hurt him
like that?"

"No, that's your place, isn't it?"

As soon as the words were out, Selek put a placating hand on my arm.
I had to fight for control to keep from pulling away from him before
he continued, "I'm sorry, Father.  That wasn't fair.  What happened
between you two was before I was born."

I looked at him then.  "I agree with the Admiral that you are old
enough to make your own decisions about where you would like to live.
However, the fact that you would quote your mother's bitter diatribes
against him leads me to serious doubts about the wisdom of increasing
the time that you spend in her company."

He was ashen now.  "I didn't mean it.  I just didn't know what to say
to  convince him.  It seemed like a logical argument."

I did not disagree that there was logic in the argument, but the
emotional manner in which he had stated it had stripped that logic
away.  "You did not require a logical argument.  You had only to tell
him what you desired and allow him to give it to you.  Because he
loves you.  He will give it to you now, of course, but it would have
been more satisfactory for both of you if his approval were given as a
gift rather than a response to emotional blackmail."

And falling back on another parenting behavior that I had learned from
my mother, I said, "Eat your sandwich.  There is no sense allowing the
food to go to waste."

He ate in silence for a moment.  With the illogical injustice of an
adult, I permitted myself to allow my own dinner to go untouched.

"I should go after him and apologize."

"No, you will allow him his privacy for now.  Later, when you
apologize, he will already have forgiven you."  I knew this was true
because it was always true when I had hurt him in the past.

My prediction proved correct.  When we met him at the lakeshore in
front of the Chateau Lake Louise, he was calm and smiling.  "Did you
have a good walk?" He rose from his perch on a rock by the shore.

Selek glanced at me before he ran ahead and threw his arms around Jim.
"I'm sorry.  I didn't mean it. I just wanted to go to Rigel.  And I
didn't want to have to go to court again."

Jim hugged him close, patting his back soothingly.  "It's okay, Sel.
We'll figure it out."  He looked at me questioningly, but when I gave
no sign that I had a different opinion on the matter, he continued.
"You can tell your mother that we'll give her permission to take you
to Rigel temporarily.  But we need to come to an agreement for how
long she has you.  And we'll also need to talk about how often you'll
come back to visit.  As long as we talk about this, we don't have to
go back to court."

Later, as the three of us relaxed in the hot tub, Selek named the
stars that were in evidence above us, pointing out the ones to which
he had traveled as well as the greater number that Jim and I had
visited.  I watched Selek's animated face.  He was barely thirteen
years old.  I thought about what Jim had survived when he was thirteen
years old, and it sent a shiver through me in spite of the heat of the
water.  I wondered if our bright, effervescent son could have faced -
and defeated - the horrors that Jim had survived on Tarsus at that
age.

Jim's eyes were closed, and his face was calm and composed.  In
deference to the presence of our teenaged son, we were all wearing
swimming trunks in the hot tub, but I found myself thinking of the
last time that I had been alone in this hot tub with Jim.  I began
calculating the value of pi in order to push this thought out of my
mind.

Jim's eyes opened, and he flashed a quick smile at me.  Naturally, he
had caught the thought before I pushed it out of my mind.  "Selek,
time for you to go to bed." Jim said.

"Dad, it's only 10 o'clock."

"As long as you're living under my roof, you'll live by my rules," I
knew that Jim's response was a humorous imitation of his own father.

Selek caught the humor in his tone, and he apparently decided not to
argue further.  Perhaps he realized that he owed Jim a debt of
kindness.  "Okay, good-night, Dad.  Good-night, Father."  After he
climbed out, wrapping a towel around himself, he came back to drop a
kiss on Jim's cheek. "That's okay.  I brought a technical journal that
I wanted to look at. "

Jim laughed at Selek's response.  He watched with a fond smile on his
face as Selek disappeared through the door.  Then he turned to look at
me.  "Well, we were wondering when he would hit his rebellious
teen-age years.  Considering what we were like at that age, I think
we've been pretty lucky with him so far."

I lifted an eyebrow at him. "You must speak for yourself alone.  I was
always an obedient son to Sarek."

He floated across the tub to settle against my side.  "So, you didn't
start rebelling until you were 18 and decided to go to the Starfleet
Academy?"

I wrapped an arm around him  "And I have not stopped rebelling yet.  I
fell in love with my human captain, and I married him."

"Yes, but you were dutiful enough to bring him home to get your
family's  approval. "  He smiled.

"Not strictly true.  If you'll recall, that for which I asked was a
formalization of our bond.  We bonded - illegally, I might add - well
before that."

He was silent a moment, absorbing the fact, his head tilted back to
contemplate the stars, before he said, "I just thought of something.
When you left the Enterprise and told me that you were coming back to
Vulcan to bond with someone selected by your father, you were just
bluffing, weren't  you?"

"Naturally.  If I had gone through with it, our bond would have been
discovered as soon as T'Pau touched my thoughts.  It would have
resulted in a scandal and a deadly insult to her and her family."
"So what would you have done if I hadn't come after you?"

"I did not think that far ahead.  It did not occur to me that you
would not come."

"You pretended that you were surprised to see me."  When I didn't
respond, he continued, "You know, you're no better than Mary Sue
Owens, who once tried to trick me into marrying her."

"Mary Sue Owens?"

He turned his head slightly to look at me.  "She pretended that she
was  pregnant, but my mom hauled her off to a doctor to prove that she
wasn't.  Well, I got grounded over that, but at least I didn't have to
marry her."

I began to lightly massage his shoulders.  I enjoyed his soft sound of
pleasure.  "You are correct.  I did 'trick' you into proposing to me.
I  believe that is clear grounds for an annulment.  Would you like to
seek one?"

"Mmm, not as long as you keep touching me like that.  Besides, I kind
of like being married to you."

"I, too, am pleased to be bonded to you."  I pressed into his neck and
shoulders a little harder, seeking out the hidden knots of tension.
After a short silence, I asked, "How do you feel about Selek going to
Rigel?"

"I'm not overjoyed, but I guess it makes it easier for you to ask me
for what you want."

Although I was surprised, I did not pause in my massage.  "And what
would that be?"

"The Ambassador let it slip that you'd been offered a position at the
Vulcan Science Academy, and he believed that you were interested."

My father is a highly professional diplomat.  He does not let anything
'slip.'  "I do not deny that it's true.  So you have thought about it?
How do you feel about resigning from Starfleet and coming with me to
Vulcan?"

"Well, I don't think you should have to wait until I die to do what
you want to with your life."

I felt a jolt of surprise.  There was some truth to what he said.  I
had  thought about the fact that he would most likely precede me in
death, so I was inclined to indulge him by allowing him to determine
our careers as long as he lived.  I placed a kiss on the pulse point
on his neck, a wordless plea that his life would continue.

He sighed a sigh of complete contentment.  "And I am getting a little
bored at the Starfleet Academy.  On the other hand, what would I do on
Vulcan?"

"Perhaps, you could also accept a teaching position at the Vulcan
Science Academy.  I have always considered you an excellent teacher."

He laughed, and I felt the tension in his shoulders ease further.
"Yes, and what would I teach?  Methods for defying Starfleet and the
Federation?  Now that would be valuable for young Vulcans to learn,
wouldn't it?"

"Perhaps."

He tilted his head back to look at me.  "We don't have to decide this
now, do we?"

"There is no urgency.  We are both committed to this training cruise."
I bent to kiss his mouth gently.

He smiled and closed his eyes.  "Good, because I really didn't think
that you brought me here to talk about our son or our careers.  Well,
not completely.  The hot tub and the private bedroom made me think you
had something else on your mind."

"That is true."  I kissed him again, and my hands traveled down from
his  shoulders to caress his chest.

He turned to face me, so that we could kiss more deeply.  When we came
up for air, he said softly, "Do you know how much I love you?"

"Affirmative."  Another kiss.  I pulled him closer against me.  We
were both still wearing our swim trunks, and my erection felt
uncomfortably confined.

"Do you know what I'm planning to do to show you how much I love you?"
His hands stroked down my sides and slid into my trunks.

"Because of my long association with you, I believe that my
speculation would be 99.976% accurate."

He glared at me and started to remove his hands.  I quickly amended my
reply.  "However, I would prefer not to speculate.  I would prefer a
demonstration."

His face softened into a seductive smile.  "Right answer, Spock," he
said before he pushed down my trunks.

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The End