The BLTS Archive - Worry by ILuvKate --- As she finished talking to the Nechani ambassador and the viewscreen went blank, Kathryn turned toward her Ready Room. The bridge was silent, the crew at their duty stations watching the captain who had just asked permission to undergo the ordeal of ritual in the temple in order to petition for Kes' life. As Kathryn passed the Engineering console, B'Elanna swiftly came around it and entered the Ready Room with Kathryn, right on Kathryn's heels. Kathryn turned startled and regarded her mate with a questioning expression. "You can't be serious about going down there and undergoing that ritual," B'Elanna said, without preamble. "I didn't hear you ask permission to leave the bridge, Lieutenant," Kathryn said mildly, folding her arms across her chest. B'Elanna's face darkened. "Kathryn, dammit!" she ground out. Kathryn turned and walked over to her desk where she sat down in her chair and pulled her computer terminal toward her. "What is it, B'Elanna?" B'Elanna stared at her in rising irritation. "You can't...be serious...about going..down there," she repeated with exaggerated patience. Kathryn studied her computer screen, keying in commands as though B'Elanna weren't in there and speaking. After a minute she glanced up. "I'm very serious," she said. "Kes' life depends on it." "Never mind about me, huh?" B'Elanna said, half-whispering, half-aloud. Kathryn scowled. "B'Elanna, that is unfair and uncalled for," she said sharply. B'Elanna stared back at her, unrepentant. "Well," she said, "you're going ahead and doing this without so much as consulting me." "There's nothing to consult you about," Kathryn said shortly. "There's only one option, and that's for me to undergo this ritual. If I don't Kes will die." B'Elanna leaned forward, her hands on the desktop. "And what happens to me if you die during this ritual?" she demanded. "Tell me that." "B'Elanna, we live with danger day in and day out," Kathryn said. "This is just another Away Mission. I may be going into danger. I may not. It's a risk everyone on an away mission takes. You know that." "This isn't the same thing and you know it, damn it!" B'Elanna exploded. Kathryn stifled the impulse to pull rank, reining in her temper. She pinched the bridge of her nose for a moment. "B'Elanna, I have no choice in this matter. I will not let Kes die if it is in my power to prevent it." She came around the desk to stand in front of her unhappy mate. "I have to do this, my love. Please support me in this." "Let me do it, then, in your place, B'Elanna urged her. "I'm stronger than you, and more capable of enduring pain and discomfort--" It was all Kathryn could do to stifle the laugh that bubbled up out of her chest. "Oh, my dear," she said hastily, "I fear you do not possess the spirituality to do this, but it was sweet of you to offer. B'Elanna's eyes narrowed as though she could detect the aborted laugh, but said nothing. She turned away from Kathryn. "If you die," she said woodenly, "I will take my own life. I swear it." "B'Elanna," Kathryn protested. "I don't want to live if you're dead," B'Elanna said mulishly. Kathryn sighed. "B'Elanna, this is going to be hard enough," she said, "without your objections. She stared unhappily at her mate's stiff, unyielding figure. "I can't let Kes die." B'Elanna whirled. "And I can't let you die!" she all but screamed. Kathryn jumped, startled. B'Elanna's eyes were bright with tears and her fists were white-knuckled. "You came into my life," she whispered, her voice shaking. "You changed it" She trembled as the tears spilled over and ran down her cheeks. "I can't live without you, Kathryn. I can't. Please." Kathryn's heart nearly broke at the wrenching plea in the last word. "B'Elanna," she said, her own voice breaking. "If I have a chance to save Kes, and I don't take it, and she dies, I will not be able to live with myself." B'Elanna stared at her, swallowing convulsively, her face paling. "And you wouldn't be able to live with me, knowing I kept you from saving her," she said in a hollow whisper. She opened her hands, palm up, and stepped back. "Then I won't try to stop you from going ahead," she said resolutely. "Either way I would lose you." She dropped her hands and nodded as though reaching a decision. She squared her shoulders. "The gods be with you, Kathryn," she said. "Know that I love you, and I always will." Without another word, she turned and left. Kathryn put out her hand in a futile gesture as though to stop her, and then let it fall to her side. Her chest hurt. What if she did die down there? Her last words to B'Elanna, the woman she loved more than her own life, were acrimonious. It shouldn't be that way. "Computer, locate Lt. Torres," she said suddenly. "Unable to comply," the computer's toneless voice responded. "Lt. Torres has deactivated her commbadge." Kathryn's shoulders drooped. B'Elanna had gone into hiding and she didn't have time to hunt her. She buried her hands in her face for a moment, and then straightened. She had a job to do. A life depended on her doing it. --- She stood in the cavernous Nechani temple, surrounded by the female monks, letting them remove her clothing. As the fabric of the uniform slid off her bare skin, she was incongruously reminded of B'Elanna's removing it prior to their love-making. Resolutely, she pushed the memory away. She had to keep her mind on the task at hand. She put her hand into the basket containing the nesset and as they sank their fangs into her flesh and she cried out in agony, feeling almost at once, the crushing pain in her chest and the blackness swirling around her, she cried out B'Elanna's name in a piteous wail. -- As the guide handed her her uniform and she caressed it, bleary-eyed from her ordeal, she felt happiness and relief well up within her as she thought about returning to the ship and seeing B'Elanna's face. She levered herself up from her perch and trudged wearily to the alcove the guide showed her, and began to dress. The transporter beam released her on the pad on board the ship and as soon as she was free of its embrace, she rushed down to thrown herself into B'Elanna's arms. They both mumbled incoherently in relief and delight, kissing and caressing each other. "Come on, darling," Kathryn said, taking her hand. "The Doctor is going to revive Kes in Sickbay. Let's go check on that." Her face softened as she looked at B'Elanna, seeing the shadows of weariness that smudged dark patches under her eyes, and hollowed her cheeks. "And then," she said softly and seductively, "let's go to quarters and make love." B'Elanna smiled. "How long do you think it'd be before we fell asleep from exhaustion?" she queried. Kathryn slipped an arm around her waist and they hurried from the transporter room. --- She listened in dawning shock and dismay as the Doctor regretfully informed her that the treatment was not going to revive Kes. "...was pointless... was pointless... was pointless." His last words echoed deadly in her mind and she stared at B'Elanna unhappily. B'Elanna leaned against a bulkhead and closed her eyes. "You're going back down there," she said dully. Kathryn was cocooned in misery. "I have to," she whispered. B'Elanna nodded, pushed herself away from the bulkhead and started down the corridor. "B'Elanna," Kathryn said plaintively. B'Elanna went a couple more steps, and then stopped and turned. "I love you, B'Elanna," Kathryn said. B'Elanna nodded, forcing a smile. "I love you, too, Kathryn." She turned and continued on down the corridor. Kathryn turned blindly toward the transporter room. --- B'Elanna stood near the door listening as the Doctor, in his usual pedantic manner, expounded at length on just how Kes had been revived. Kathryn sat in a chair, hands clasped in her lap, so numb from exhaustion, she was barely able to keep her mind on what the hologram was saying. Her thoughts were awhirl with the things she had experienced in the Nechani temple. She could still feel the cold trickle of sweat between her shoulder blades as she'd carried Kes toward the alien shrine, not knowing if death or life awaited them there. There'd been a nerve-jangling crackle of energy surging through her body and then nothing, and she'd stared down into Kes' serene blue eyes that were open and alert. B'Elanna had joined her as she left Sickbay and they walked silently to their quarters. Inside, they embraced, holding each other for long minutes. "Is it over?" B'Elanna asked, her voice muffled against Kathryn's shoulder. Kathryn nodded. "Yes, my love," she said. "Yes. It's over." They walked to the bedroom and lay down in each other's arms, fully clothed, and dropped into an exhausted sleep. --- They awakened later, rested and ravenous. "One of the few times I'd rather eat than make love to you," Kathryn murmured into B'Elanna's hair as they made their way to the replicator. B'Elanna chuckled. "Yeah, sure," she teased. "Thrown over for dinner. Yeah." Kathryn pulled her to her and kissed her soundly. Then they dialed up some food and ate. As soon as they'd put the dishes into the recycling slot, Kathryn turned B'Elanna and kissed her. B'Elanna leaned into the kiss, savoring the taste of Kathryn, the realization that she'd come close to never being able to do so again heightening her sensations. Without preamble, she unzipped Kathryn's uniform jacket and pushed it off her shoulders. Kathryn drew back and turned toward the bedroom, leading her by the hand. They undressed each other with languorous deliberation. B'Elanna kissed whatever skin was laid bare by the removal of clothing, hearing Kathryn's breathing quicken and hitch. Kathryn tossed aside jacket, turtleneck, trousers, and knelt, pulling away from B'Elanna's lingering kisses to kneel and pull off her lover's boots and socks. Dressed only in her trousers, panties, boots and socks, she knelt, looking up at B'Elanna, her hands on the sides of B'Elanna's thighs, caressing warm, smooth skin. She kissed B'Elanna's thighs, her belly, her flanks, moving up until she was standing again and bent to take B'Elanna's breasts in her mouth, gathering the full globes in both hands and squeezing them together so she could virtually kiss, lick and suck both nipples at once. B'Elanna made breathless, whispering sounds of pleasure as Kathryn's mouth and tongue sent shivers through her body and ignited heat in her belly. She tugged at Kathryn's trousers and slid them down, kneeling now in her turn as she removed Kathryn's socks and boots. Kathryn was clad only in her panties and B'Elanna pressed her lips to the damp fabric of the crotch. Kathryn groaned. "Oh, 'lanna....oh, oh..." her voice trailed off. B'Elanna worked her fingers inside the legs of the panties in the back and eased a finger into the cleft of Kathryn's buttocks. Kathryn grunted and jerked at the touch. B'Elanna's mouth was still busy at the front of Kathryn's panties and Kathryn's legs were beginning to quiver uncontrollably. Suddenly, B'Elanna grabbed a mouthful of panty in her teeth and ripped. Kathryn cried out in surprise, the exclamation trailing away into an incoherent mumble as B'Elanna's tongue slid into her, hot, wet, slick, urgent with need. B'Elanna's finger probed at Kathryn's tight, puckered anus while her tongue mauled Kathryn's clit and Kathryn threw her head back, howling in pleasure as her orgasm exploded in her belly and washed upward over her in wave after wave of delight. B'Elanna held her as the orgasm died away and Kathryn clung to her shoulders. "Good God," Kathryn said hoarsely. B'Elanna laughed into her wet mound. "Sorry 'bout the panties, love," she said, with no contrition in her tongue at all. "Kind of a hard act to follow," Kathryn remarked, pulling her upright and wrapping her arms around her. They kissed. "You'll think of something," B'Elanna said, when she got her breath back. "You always do." Kathryn nuzzled her throat. "Mmmmhmmm," she said absently, running her tongue up and down the side of B'Elanna's neck. "L-like that," B'Elanna said, shivering. "Do you kn-know, that makes me nuts?" "Mmmhmmm," Kathryn said, moving around to the other side. One of her hands had found its way between B'Elanna's legs and was exploring, making B'Elanna's knees rubbery. Kathryn drove her fingers deep, stroking hard, and B'Elanna gasped, nipping Kathryn's shoulder. Kathryn grunted and bent to suckle B'Elanna's breasts, her fingers still pistoning in and out of B'Elanna's throbbing sex. B'Elanna whimpered. "Oh, baby, yes," she said. "Make me come, lover. Oh, yes!" Kathryn dropped to her knees and replaced her fingers with her mouth and it was B'Elanna's turn to yell with pleasure as the heat exploded at her center, searing her body with wash after wash of delight. They stumbled to the bed and collapsed upon it. "I love you, V'shtn," B'Elanna murmured. "I love you, my dear heart," Kathryn murmured in return. They drifted off. --- Copyright 1998 ILuvKate --- The End